Causing Accidents

sit back in the chair my baby

2008-05-15T15:51:00.004-05:00

Here I am today, thinking about stupid stuff that eats butt and feeling sorry for myself, then along comes my friend Jacob with the instant cocaine. I like, can't even handle this news. As in I am unable to comprehend that this is happening. First - I've joked about how if Lynch and Herzog combined forces ever I'd probably die (mostly because of how unlikely it is - I'm seriously shocked given their different styles and themes). Second - Udo Kier. Enough said. Third - Jodorowsky hasn't made a movie in NINETEEN YEARS. Absurdia is a good company to use for him - probably the only semi-large production co that would let Jodorowsky do the messed up shit he's famous for. To put it in perspective for everyone of my music friends, which is pretty much all of you, this would be comparable to whatever your absolute dream music situation is with your absolute favorite musicians and producers. Fuck if I know what those are. Maybe R Kelly and Jay-Z reuniting to create Best of Both Worlds 3? Hall and Oates produced by Steve Albini? Who knows.

I haven't felt this sort of excitement about music in maybe 5+ years. I believe the transformation is complete.

Contention 1

2008-05-14T22:45:00.002-05:00

Its finals week at work, so we are surrounded by cranky kids who forgot what hygiene is. My laxness also resulted in a really strange mentally disturbed child infiltrator in our offices yesterday, and I'm still feeling super guilty about it. To add to that stress I may have had the strangest experience in my adult life yesterday. It left me feeling old and like "god if this is what being An Adult is, please stop my aging process". Maybe this is just what being a single adult is, and is a reminder that America is designed for married people once you become 'an adult'. ugh. I also noticed that every condo in my neighborhood is overrun with toys on their floors. I know this because I peek in everybody's windows on my walks home from work. So...in order to be able to afford my own piece of the pie I either need to get married or make enough money to compensate for the missing second income. Guess I'm gonna be screwed for awhile. But that's off topic (as if there was one).

I watched a cute movie tonight called Rocket Science, about high school policy debaters. It was so accurate I got really nostalgic. It was also so so precious. I have a love/hate relationship with overly precious movies. I was in the right mood for it though so it worked.

I'm starting to plan my next week off. I took the week off just for the hell of it. I'm not going anywhere, just wanted some time off. I have a few things I need to do, like run, but I plan on doing nothing but relaxing stuff like reading the awesome book I'm reading right now, Then we came to an end, watching movies, enjoying the nice weather, maybe finally going to the MCA, a white sox game...a great way to spend a week off. And even better is it is getting kicked off with my birthday game night on Saturday. So despite the ridiculousness of this week, there is a lot to look forward to.

yes, no, maybe so

2008-05-12T22:53:00.004-05:00

Argh, so much going on but so little motivation to blog. Between running, reading (yes I have been reading), birthday plan prepping, visitors visiting, baseballing, dinnering, I'm pooped at the end of the day. Yesterday bestie Paul from Minneapolis spent the day with me. It was everything we had hoped for - rainy outside so we didn't feel guilty for being lazy, cozy inside so we loved watching episode after episode of the golden girls while eating total crap. We also watched 4 episodes of Cops and some show about women's prisons. Paul also installed all my undercabinet lighting that Nate and I had been having trouble with. It looks so so good now, and makes my place feel a lot cozier. Who knew that task lighting and non-ceiling lighting could make such a difference? Best Sunday Ever. I wish I lived closer to Kevin and Paul.

Today I had dinner with new Edward and new Jennifer. They made spinach and ricotta gnocchi, salad, and homemade bread! We also had sake with our meal. For dessert Jennifer had made a homemade apple and berry pie and it was still warm. I love having friends that live so close that also enjoy cooking! We spent about an hour watching performances off of The Old Grey Whistle Test dvds and laughing about prog rock and wild outfits. Around 8:45 I scurried home to be online in time to do Hills Chat with my friends. Its confirmed: The Paper is way better than the Hills.

Audrey is growing her hair on her neck and belly back. Its funny because she is shedding her winter coat like mad, but growing back her bald patches like mad too. Now that I've had her for...almost 3 years? I have figured out the pattern. Winter: No Hair, Summer: Hair. Makes no logical sense but shes a dog - what does she know about keeping warm. Nothing.

I also got a call tonight from my landlord, a call nobody wants to get. My check got returned to them, which I had feared happened. However, he was super cool about it! He said, just cut me a new check and we'll ignore that this happened. No penalties! I told him I was really embarrassed and that this has never happened before (truth), and he was like "whatever, we have so many tenants its not a big deal." This landlord rules - quick to fix things in my place and didn't flip on me for a bad check. I'll be dropping off a new one on the way to work tomorrow and life will be fine again.

In money related news, I finally cancelled my Comcast internet. That bill was the culprit for the overdrawn checking/returned rent check. Its totally my fault for not cancelling sooner, but I really hate cancelling services. They make it so difficult then they make you feel all awkward and bad about it. Worse, I have to go to this totally random comcast drop-center to return the cable modem and their hours are absolutely ridiculous. At least I finally took care of it, while re-learning my lesson that sometimes in life you have to do irritating shit but you do it because its what must be done. Presently, I can't really think of any other items on my List of Things to do That Suck but I do them because I am an Adult and I have to. Feels like a huge load off my shoulders to not have stupid obligational crap for awhile.

I also realized that I totally forgot to commemorate my two year anniversary of moving here on May 7th. Whoops. I guess its good that I don't even notice it because it means this is more and more home. Its also sad because I really do love San Francisco and miss it every day so to have been here for two years can sometimes be a bit sad. To think about all the stuff I've done in the past two years is pretty insane. Got a sweetass job, got a promotion at said job, had a shitty apartment and rectified it with an amazing apartment, reconnected with old friends and got new friends, went from single to not-single to single again, had some identity theft problems, survived two miserable winters, and so on. The best/most proud part of it is that I did all of these things on my own (well I obviousy didn't get not-single and dumped on my own). I was responsible for all the good, dealt with all the bad, and am really happy that I've been able to handle it all pretty well. If you had told me somewhere in the middle of my 4 year relationship with the ex that this is what I'd be doing at near 27, I would have most definitely scoffed. Guess it just goes to show that we really have minimal control over our 'future' no matter how hard we try? That or I'm a total failure? I'd like to think its the former.

i will spray you with the blue spray gun audrey gets when she's naughty.

2008-05-11T00:12:00.005-05:00

Today I did my run with my pace group and I'm feelin good. I'm getting a bit of a superiority complex for being so proud of waking up at 5:30 every Saturday to run for charity. Can't deny it. After I came home I cleaned, did stupid shit, and went to dinner at Fernandos with Soup where I had some good conversation (if not a little agro - on my side not his), watched BSG with him, went home on the Western bus alone and drunk. Probably not the safest idea, but certainly the cheapest. Whatever, I got home fine and in about 10 hours my best pal Paul will be here to keep me company for a good 20 hours. If only the Pauls, Kevins, Kristins, Matt, Lizs of the world could be here 24/7 then I think all of life's problems would be solved.

i have pesto breath and i don't really care

2008-05-08T22:41:00.003-05:00

Wednesday was a bit rough. I didn't have my medications so I felt super wonky. Work was so stressful because of this grant application deadline, and then to make things worse I noticed that my rent check either really did bounce or was about to. I had to race to the bank and do some bad money habits to cover the rent. I still don't know if it fully bounced or if the landlord will try submitting it one more time and I'll be ok. Its all my fault and I feel so stupid. Then the baseball game had a two hour rain delay which was pretty shitty. To make it worse the white sox got stomped by the twins, Jacob and I barely missed our train, and I didn't get home until after midnight. The only cool thing was that we got to see two dudes get chased on foot and taken down and cuffed by some cops at Chicago and Ashland.

Today I got my medications. The pharmacist remembered me - not sure if thats a good or a bad thing that he remembered me from two days before. He apologized and I felt bad for being so irritated with him on Tuesday.

I've been so tired lately. I don't get it. I thought running was supposed to give me energy, but I just want to sleep all the time! Maybe I'll get a chance this weekend. My bestie Paul is in town on a weekend trip with his mom, and he's sticking around an extra day to hang out with me. So on Sunday we are going to be super lazy and watch the golden girls all day and eat junk food. I've been looking forward to this for a very long time, so I'm super excited. It also is a motivation to clean my apartment. I've been pretty lax lately.

curse you insurance!

2008-05-06T22:27:00.003-05:00

I went to fill my new wellbutrin prescription. I can take one bigger pill instead of two smaller ones now that we know the right dose. The doc wrote it up for the generic version, which I was happy about because it'll save me 15 bucks. I dropped it off at the pharmacy window and they said it would take 10 minutes. I wandered around the store picking up cereal, milk, dinner, then came back to the counter. The dude, who had the weirdest non-accent accent I've ever heard, told me that they were OUT of the generic. He said that although you can go from name brand on the prescription down to generic, you can't go up. So because my doc wrote it for generic I can't bump up to the real deal since my insurance won't pay for it.

1 - this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard
2 - how depressed is my neighborhood that the pharmacy RAN OUT OF WELLBUTRIN

So I don't get to take my dose tomorrow morning. I'm already paranoid about how much it will mess me up tomorrow, and oh my god I just realized I can't pick it up until Thursday because I'll be at the Sox game tomorrow night oh shit. This could be very bad...

random

2008-05-05T19:47:00.002-05:00

Got some good news from the doctor today - I can wean off my prozac, and stick to the wellbutrin. I haven't felt any effect from the 'zac in forever, and the 'bute is definitely working, so there ya go. One less prescription, one less pill in the morning. One more sign of my 'betterness'.

The weather was great out today. Had lunch outside, had my run in 75 degree sunny weather.

Not much else, just wanted to mention the doctor. And Happy Birthday to Matt (in Boston).

rest of weekend update

2008-05-04T17:58:00.003-05:00

Last night I took new Edward out with me to Club Foot to meet up with other friends. We had a really good time. Too good in fact, as I'm totally hungover today. Last night was the first night I went "balls-out" drinking since being on my new medicine, and as predicted it ended pretty badly. Physically I just felt drunk, but emotionally I got really really depressed. Like sobbing on the couch at 3 a.m. and not knowing why. Oy. Woke up feeling a bit better. I had some really messed up dreams about rabid stray cats attacking Audrey and me.

I had hangover brunch at Edwards (having someone who lives so close rules!). He made mushroom, onion, sharp cheddar, and some other kind of cheese omelettes, salad with balsamic vinagrette and toasted pine nuts, fresh OJ and coffee. And toast. It was awesome!!! And I don't even like mushrooms! He cooked them in bacon fat, so they sort of tasted like mushy meat. I think that must be why I handled it.

Since then I've pretty much passed out on the couch and took Audrey for a walk. If my sinus headache disappears I'll probably watch a movie.

Tomorrow morning I have to see the psychiatrist again to see how the new meds are going. I think I'm going to ask him to take me off the prozac and keep me just on the wellbutrin, since I hate taking two medications and I really haven't felt any effects from prozac in forever.

Saturdaze

2008-05-03T19:36:00.002-05:00

Wanna know how my first group run went? Well you'll have to go here. In brief: not bad!

Since the run I've had the whole day open, it feels strange. I took an hour nap before noon, but I still feel pretty tired. Nate came over and we watched baseball and bsg. He forgot to bring his tools over, so still no hooks installed.

I'm currently trying very hard to not feel like a pariah. Success level: moderate.

news

2008-05-02T14:20:00.003-05:00

From the um duh department: Chore Wars: Husbands create an extra seven hours a week of housework for wives, according to a new study. But wives save husbands from about an hour of housework a week.

From the most inspiring best article ever department: unabashed broads, including a librarian tidbit

I'm still thinking about how funny the Office was last night. I even rewatched it today at work!

random thursday update

2008-05-01T23:08:00.003-05:00

May day may day! Happy laborers day and all that. My day was labored, but in a different way. The bus was all messed up to get to work, so I got there right before this 10 am meeting that was with a ton of heads of departments on campus. Oy! Then as soon as I walked in, they asked me to present my outline. I didn't know that was on the docket so I wasn't really prepared. Oh well.

I left work at 2 to get food before therapy. I ate at a Noodles next door to my therapist's office. I haven't been to one of those in years! I got something moderately healthy? Whole grain linguine with just a little oil, broccoli, and peppers. The small order too. It wasn't too bad. Not awesome either.

Went to therapy, bawled my eyes out for 50 straight minutes. Left really really angry, which I guess was a nice change of pace? I don't know, I'm trying to look at the feeling of anger as some positive progress or something. Only a few years ago I had a complete inability to feel real anger, so its cool I can do it now.

Had to go to Sports Authority to get some running crap, came home, ran, showered, did a load of laundry so I could shrink my jeans again. All of my jeans are too big now. It's a great feeling but I don't want to buy any jeans until I think I've stopped losing weight from running. Jeans are expensive! However, I have to wash them all the time now to keep them a bit tighter or else I look real shlumpy at work. Maybe someday the weather will cooperate and I can return to happy skirt land. I accidentally typed skort, which reminds me that a friend asked me on Saturday if I was wearing one. I was not.

Watched the office and 30 rock and thought both were super good this week. Lost was alright, I don't know if it was truly awesome though. Hopefully BSG tomorrow makes up for the mild snoozer that was last week.

When I read this it seems like I did a lot today. I guess I did. It's sort of nice to be constantly busy.

annoying start to the week

2008-04-29T18:39:00.002-05:00

It is so so so cold out and so depressing to be out there. Barf. Yesterday I walked Audrey to new Edward's house to exchange movies. He loaned me Modern Romance, and I loaned him Hannah Takes the Stairs. Audrey got to meet two cats. She growled so the meeting was cut short. Guess she can't take a lil kitty running around here, not that one is coming in the near future anyway.

Today I barfed. That's right. Vomitola. I did it Monday morning too - but more of a dry heave experience. Today was full on out comes the cereal puke. I finally pieced together what I was doing differently that would make me so ill in the morning - it's my stupid multivitamin. I read online that women's one a day can cause vomiting because it has too much iron in it. It says it has 100 percent of a daily value but that must be too much for me. My boss said it made his fiance barf too. So I have a giant bottle of vitamins I'll never use. Let me know if you want them, maybe they won't make you puke.

I don't really mind puking, however today it posed a real problem. I had taken my lovely wellbutrin only 10 minutes before so I definitely puked it out before it could absorb. I wasn't sure if I should try taking more and risk getting super sick, or just roll with it. I rolled with it, and did not take any more. Big mistake, I feel really agitated and cloudy today. Physically, mentally, emotionally, just yuck. I miss you 'bute, come back!

Weekend Update

2008-04-27T21:05:00.003-05:00

Friday I didn't do too much - watched that film down below and went to bed. Saturday was my first meeting with the marathoners, which you can read about here, and trust me its big news! I came home, napped, got a call from new Edward who wanted to hang out. We've never hung out alone before so I was a bit nervous at first. Instead, it was totally awesome. We went to Tuman's, talked about our favorite books, then about our favorite movies, agreed to do some movie exchanges, talked about our love for the Talking Heads, and I also learned that he is also totally obsessed with R Kelly!!! I told him I went to his concert and he was like "omg the double up tour!! REAL TALK!" Amazing. We ended the night with a few hours of katamari with Jacob and Wendy, drinking Relax brand wine. Frankie told us to.

Today was home improvement day. I went to Home Depot to buy a ton of shit, and to Joann. Nate came over and helped me set it all up while watching baseball.

Accomplished:

1. Frosted glass window film on the windows, and so far I'm really happy I did it. I can keep the blinds open and see the trees but not have Audrey constantly flipping out at anything on the street.

2. "Art" in the kitchen - bought these printed paper sheets at Joann, stripes, dots, whatever patterns, put them in various frame sizes and hung them in the kitchen. It actually really helps that drab room.

3. New shower head. My old one had good water pressure but I didn't like the way the water was distributed if that makes sense. So now I have a new one that does a better job.

Not accomplished:

1. Undercabinet lighting did not get installed. We started working on it, but felt like it was maybe too complicated. I'm going to force Paul to do it when he visits me in two weeks (sorry Paul).

2. Hooks for my hair dryer and flat iron in the bathroom. I guess I don't have the right drill bits or something to do it. Nate has to bring his back to finish that.

Hannah takes the stairs

2008-04-25T23:41:00.005-05:00

I watched Hannah Takes the Stairs tonight. From netflix: "After graduating from college, Hannah (Greta Gerwig) gets rid of her uninspired musician boyfriend (Mark Duplass), goes to work as an intern at a Chicago production company and develops new crushes on co-workers Matt and Paul. Director Joe Swanberg guides an inspired cast (which includes several aspiring filmmakers) that uses handheld video, improvised plot lines and episodic story structures to express a new idiom for life as a 20-something."

I'm looking over the critics reviews as well as the reviews of average netflix users, and I'm sort of surprised at how many users hated it but reviewers liked it. The reviewers and users who didn't like it cited self-absorbed nothingness and characters' inability to be introspective...but isn't that the entire point of this movie? Its about 20somethings who have lives pretty much like most people I know...fun, intelligent, have a semi-creative job, bumble around in some quirky art-ish world, are aware of their shortcomings but don't bother to do much about it, but in the end are sort of adorable and good-hearted despite any 'bad' things they do in life. I thought the film was pretty accurate. I found myself sometimes really hating the characters but simultaneously thinking "whoa I've said or done that before, but I hate what she's doing, but I've done it so what does that mean..." I think the viewer is supposed to have a love/hate relationship with the film, so I have to disagree with the netflix users who say that its trite and boring. Or maybe my life is just trite and boring...hmmm...

Also, a lot of the haters complained about the lack of script, but I think its fitting for the content of the film. The languid nothing-ever-happens-but-sitting-and-talking works for me. I guess I like boring films.

I think the funniest part of the movie is the name of the genre it fits under, mumblecore. lolz how trite and irritating is that title, yet so perfect. I learned about it last fall, but haven't seen too many mumblecore films because I was busy working my way through other stuff. Many of the films, like Hannah, are either loved or hated so it should be interesting.

Like that webbie song says...

2008-04-24T22:10:00.003-05:00

All in all, not a bad day. Not a bad day at all. My plant returned to life after I moved it back to the shady kitchen and watered it. Its upright and very happy. New buds of the flower part are coming out. Good job me! I learned that peace lilies are poison to pets. Whoops. So it's going to have to stay on the kitchen table or higher forever. Oh well, Audrey rules my world and will forever.

Had a good therapy session. Afterwards I came home and went for a 35 minute run. It was humid and occasionally raining, but I still had a good time. Then I did laundry and settled in for awesome tv. Lost was so awesome tonight I almost couldn't handle it. I missed an awesome inning by the White Sox to watch Lost though, so thats sort of sad.

And last but certainly not least, I got a new job title, promotion, and raise today. Holla!!!

Audrey is a bit of an assface

2008-04-24T10:24:00.003-05:00

My peace lily is already all droopy. I suck at plants. I watered it a bit, so maybe it'll be happy when I return home. Maybe Audrey got jealous of it and peed on it or something. Who knows. Speaking of Audrey, she's been positively evil lately. Last night she refused to go to bed. Refused. She's never done that before. Normally she loves it when I say "let's go to bed!" She runs to the bed and scuttles underneath the covers. Then she'll spend a good minute scratching out her space to sleep. Its one of the best parts of my day. Last night she was like "bitch you've been gone all day, don't think I'm gonna get in bed with you!" It was true, I was gone from 8 a.m. until 11 p.m.. However, I'm often gone that long during baseball season and she's fine. Last night she made me walk her again after I was already in bed. Then she ran up and down the length of the apartment for absolutely no reason. Finally she went to bed around 1-ish, but woke up at 5:30 rarin' to go again.

This morning, like I've done the past week, I refused to get out of bed while she pounces all over and licks my face to get me to move. Around 6 I decided that I'd had enough and put her in her cage. She clawed the cage for an hour straight without stopping. At 7 I gave up, and opened the cage but went right back into my bed. She sort of laid with me and every now and then licked me. Finally around 7:40 I got up and dealt with her. Worst dog ever.

I'm 0 for 2 on the Sox winning when I go to a game. Last night's game was brutal. It was also very cold, so I had to buy a sox blanket to keep me warm. I sort of wanted one anyway so I didn't feel so bad about it.

Today is therapy, then running to make up for me not being able to yesterday. Then the office and 30 rock and maybe a movie. I got Hannah Takes the Stairs Tuesday. I've been looking forward to seeing it for a long time.

this post brought to you by a bus commute

2008-04-22T21:17:00.004-05:00

On my lovely bus ride home, I thought a lot about stuff. I do this on every bus ride when I'm not reading or sleeping. Today I thought about how unhealthy it is to hold onto the bitterness and anger surrounding "your lot in life" when you have no control over anything (or anybody) but your own outlook. Meaning, we all have shit that we can't change, people we can't change, life events we can't change, but we can change how we react to them, deal with them, and learn from them. I'm working on that, and on not letting negative energy about trivial shit consume me. It may be a form of denial to just refuse to listen to negative stuff, but its working for now. I don't see much wrong with just doing what I think is good for me and saying fuck it to everything else, again for now. Obviously I still maintain obligations (I pay bills, get wedding gifts for people), but you get the deal. I think.

On the bus ride to work I had a much more pleasant thought process. I thought about how a cute dude on a bus can be ruined because he folds the cover of his book over so he can read with one hand. Mutiny! Mutilation! It hurts me to see books all bent up like that. Plus it means I can't figure out what book the bro is reading.

It was really nice after work today. I walk past this garden store every day and every day I think "I'll go in and get a windowsill plant." I never do. Today I stepped in and the experience was intense. Apparently what I wanted was like asking for cancer to be cured tomorrow. I wanted a rectangular box to put on my windowsill, on the inside. I wanted plants that would grow in it to grow at least 12 inches high so Audrey couldn't peek over them to bark at the passers-by. It would help if they weren't all green - color would be nice. I also wanted something that was idiot proof, as I've never kept a plant alive. Well, no go. Turns out bigger plants need bigger pots. Whoops. I felt really stupid. So I spent 45 minutes trying out different arrangements with different pots until the third employee there said, "you know you can buy frosted glass window film and just plop it on the window." Oh. Duh. A much cheaper and easier solution. How did I not think of that sooner? So after 45 minutes, I left with just one peace lily in a cute square pot. It's on my kitchen table. We shall see how long it lives. This weekend I'll stop by the Home Depot and get the frosted film stuff.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love my apartment? Because I still do. Windows were open today and it was great. Having my own private entrance rules too.

productive member of society

2008-04-21T16:26:00.002-05:00

This is how I've spent my day - making pictures with MS Paint for my friends. I think my crowning achievement was the one I made for Soup (click on it to make it bigger):

Weekend Update

2008-04-20T20:23:00.003-05:00

I had a really busy weekend. I was supposed to go out Friday, but I fell asleep early in the evening. By the time I woke up I decided it was better to just sit around inside and watch BSG (awesome episode by the way). I also watched My Kid Could Paint That, a documentary about a 4 year old painter that people go nuts over. It was great. The plot was really interesting, but the documentary style was done really well. Good story arc, good set up of plot, good intersection between the director's interference and the family's opinions. It was just really well done. I think my doc film class for helping me gain a better eye for what makes a documentary 'good'.

Saturday morning I had to run, then I had to race over to get my haircut and colored (looks awesome), then run home to snarf some food down before my new pals Jennifer and Edward (another Ed!) picked me up to go to roller derby. Roller derby was pretty fun. The place was packed, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. It took me a minute to get a grip on the circular motion, but I eventually got the hang of how its done. We drank budweisers and cheered for any team at any time. Jen and I also found out we know all the same people back in SF, which is super disturbing.

After derby, I had to race home, change, and race to the Beat Kitchen to see Dialogue play their last show. There were a lot of people there, which was good for the band. I did ok I think, only felt like people were looking at me like I had a goiter on my face for a little bit (which is a major improvement, thanks therapy!). Hopefully a few more times out and I'll be totally back to normal, but I don't know. It's hard to not have alcohol as a crutch for small talk.

Today I went out to the suburban retreat to obtain a tv/media stand/console thingy. I also brought Audrey to let her run wild in the backyard with three beagles. Audrey seemed to like Arthur, the beagle Natalie and Matt are fostering. Auds got the dogs all riled up, and she was even rolling around on her belly with them. She never plays like this - in a submissive position. I was proud of her! She seems a little less wound up now, but still sort of wild.

Andy helped me bring the furniture up the stairs at my place, and helped me lug the behemoth tv onto the top of it. Then I hooked everything up. It has little cut outs for all the cords, so it looks really clean compared to my old crap. The wood is a lighter shade than what I have in my place, but whatever, it was free and is a major upgrade from what I had. It makes me feel like the room is put together better, and I was able to use the old crap in my storage/office room to get junk off the ground. I also did laundry and dishes. Lots of stuff.

I still really need to work on my kitchen. Maybe that will be my project next Sunday - to install under cabinet lighting, get some crap on the wall, maybe find a cool fabric to make a table cloth to spruce it up a bit.

In cool news, I've lost half an inch on my hips and thighs, and 3/4ths an inch on the ole gut! Yeahhhh (said Rick Ross style). Running rules! I'm feeling better physically and emotionally from it, and I often get the itch to run now. I never dread having to do it.

Monday I really need to call comcast and cancel their asses now that my DSL is working well. Its supposed to be really warm, so my run should be fun. I would have liked a third day on this weekend because it was so busy, but I'll live. Being busy means less time to fester in my own brain.

I wanna tell you today

2008-04-18T14:54:00.005-05:00

Tonight I'm relaxing a bit, then hanging with Christy (girl from film class and from last friday night). Tomorrow I have a haircut, and I got invited to a roller derby bout by two other new friends! So 3 cheers for 3 new friends. I think its a big accomplishment to, as an adult, make friends with new people that are not at all affiliated with your current circle, your job, or your school (if you are in it). It seems so random, like if she hadn't taught that class or if I decided not to take it, then none of this would be happening and I'd probably be moping at home. Instead I'm out doing new things with new people.

Saturday I have to do a 3 mile run in the morning. After the derby business I'll be going to my friend Rick's band, Dialogue's, last show.

Sunday I'm picking up a new tv/media stand thingy to replace the mish-mash that I currently have in my apartment.

Got drinks with a pal last night after therapy. I sorta felt bad, like I was just talking her ear off about my problems and how I fixed most of them. It was hokey. Whatever, I don't care.

Let's keep this up, Thursday

2008-04-17T10:02:00.002-05:00

Only been a few hours, but so far today RULES. A girl and a dude I met last Friday invited me out for this Saturday! Makes me feel pretty dang sweet because they are pretty much way cooler than me (how does this always happen to me?)

And this morning, I was feelin' pretty skinny so I tried on jeans that haven't fit me since I moved here 2 years ago. I could zip and button them up! I couldn't do that a few months ago. It didn't look very good, so it'll be a few more weeks, but hey that rules! And my current jeans are all too baggy in the booty right now. Transition time!

you said it's always the same, but i'll make it change*

2008-04-16T22:45:00.005-05:00

Ah another day. I kept thinking it was Thursday, which was disappointing. I had to get that vaccine this morning. The doctor said "this is going to hurt because you don't have enough fat on your arm. You need to eat something"!!! I said "thanks for the compliment" haha. What a weird thing for a doc to say.

Then I got a ton done at work. Working hard means you don't have as much time to feel sorry for yourself. And I enjoyed the work I had to do today, which always helps. Learned I get to pick up a new database, which will make me look super awesome to my faculty.

Today was a late day, where I work until 7. When I left the White Sox parking lot was full. I thought, oh shit its a Wednesday night game and I totally forgot, I am eating my 2 tickets. A frantic text to Miller and Ed and lots of confusion about what day it was ensued. Turns out I was wrong and some university was using the stadium. Phew. Next week the game is against the Yankees...I have a second ticket...you pay me in hot dogs...I'm a cheap and easy date.

On the way home I saw two bums fighting. It sort of ruled until my guilt consumed me.

I came home and did my running, loved it, watched Top Chef and Big Brother on the ole DVR, and here I am. I remembered that Audrey calms down when she wears her red sweater, so the past two nights I've put her in the Penalty Sweater to get her to stop beating up on me. Its worked. As soon as I take it off she starts attacking again. Someone make her stop!

Tomorrow is therapy and happy hour with the acquaintance-turned-friend. She works next door to my apartment, so that's sorta cool.

*Name that Echo and the Bunnymen song that I listened to ten times today and you win...my deepest admiration. No cheating.

random ramblings

2008-04-15T21:43:00.003-05:00

The weather was almost nice today. It was warmer but the wind was pretty intense. Our network went down at work for two hours, so I goofed off for a long time, spent some of it outside talking to Paul on the phone. After work I cashed my $100 rebate check I finally got from Apple. I also talked to Kristin on the phone for a long time, as we both had a ton of events to catch up on. I talked to my aunt and uncle in California too. My uncle is headed to Florida in a few days for some crazy tests to see if he's allowed to do this crazy radiation treatment for his cancer this summer. Scary and stressful. These people are like second parents to me, after living there for so long.

I just turned on Law and Order SVU and holy shit this is disgusting. Its an attempted rape scene that is really brutal and awful. They shouldn't show that shit on tv, its triggering. And its still going on, long enough to have a commercial break in the middle of it. Its this man just beating the shit out of a woman. Great. Holy shit now they are showing him trying to force her to give him oral sex, this is fucking awful and makes me so disgusted I can't even describe it. Scene length: 10 minutes. Wow.

Tomorrow morning I will run, then I have to get my second hpv vaccine shot. The first one really hurt, so I'm not looking forward to it. I sort of feel like its a bit too late to be getting these shots, but they weren't available back in my wild days, and they are pretty much proven to eliminate your chance of cervical cancer. I get a little nervous that we don't know any long-term effects yet, but my doctor said that there was really no reason to not get the shots.

you can put it on the board, yesss

2008-04-14T19:39:00.004-05:00

Had a good run tonight. I almost did a we are the champions arms in the air sort of move at the end I felt so good. It was a bit chilly but whatever. I came home, ate a burrito, and am now fighting with Audrey.

Audrey has been absolutely insane lately. She's attacking me even. Barking and pouncing on me over and over to get my attention. All day long. Its the worst and I don't know whats up. Is she asserting her dominance now that it's just the 2 of us? She's in her kennel right now on time-out because she's been so nuts. If anyone has any idea why she may be this awful, let me know. And trust me, I've been exercising her. And giving her her doggy calm down melatonin too. Ugh.

Thursday I am getting after work drinks with an acquaintance-turned-friend. It feels really nice and refreshing to be branching out, to know that I can do it, and that people are out there. Good times. As long as I keep busy I don't get too depressed. Still probably crying at least once a day though, like a loser.

Finally, the White Sox have been freakin' killing it lately. Love it.

Match Point

2008-04-14T11:54:00.003-05:00

Sweet, I just got an email from one of the people I met on Friday asking to hang out again because she thought we had a lot in common (esp: feminism and archival stuff). She had to have asked my friend Christy for my address, so that's pretty cool. Proof I'm not as low down as I keep thinking I am! Almost removed my funkitude I've had since early Sunday morning, but not totally. Hopefully my run tonight will?

Got brunch with Nick yesterday. We ran errands together, and then I watched him install some expensive chip into his computer. Watched the White Sox annihilate the Tigers (again!). Brooded. Funny word.