Pearl Writing Services Blog

Help for Hearing Damage

2008-06-26T10:03:00.004-05:00

The first and last time I took my daughter to a rock concert, we both came out complaining of ear pain and ringing in our ears. When I was a teen myself, the creed was, "If it's too loud, you're too old!" But now that I'm a mother, and a professional who needs her hearing, I began wondering who is liable for the damage that live bands do to our ears. After a little bit of internet searching, I found a hearing loss lawyer, Evan Aidman, that actually represents people who have suffered hearing loss.

I recognize that we choose to attend live music concerts, but isn't it reasonable to expect that our bodies don't incur permanent damage as a result? Now, I can't say that I'd personally go up against the lawyers for Green Day or Justin Timberlake if my hearing was damaged; I'd guess my chances of collecting damages would be pretty small. But this hearing loss attorney works on contingency - you don't have to pay anything until he wins a settlement.

Also, I would never sue my uncle for the probable hearing loss that resulted from him ineptly shooting off illegal Kentucky fireworks too close to my right ear during one of his visits to our farm. But I might file a hearing loss claim if the traffic and incredibly loud jackhammer outside my office window causes me any permanent damage. I need my hearing, folks.

Now that I think about it, I'm starting to wonder if I might incur eye damage by sitting at this computer staring at the screen everyday. My eye doctor asks me about my computer habits at every visit - couldn't this be harmful? If research someday points to computer radiation as an eye health hazard, I'll know who to sic on Compaq - Evan Aidman specializes in eye damage, also.

Photo courtesy of twenty_questions.

An unfortunate written experience

2008-06-04T17:15:00.005-05:00

While reading apartment reviews with my daughter, I was shocked by the level of writing incompetence I saw people displaying on the web. In fact, I saw a level of basic inability to write that I don't think I've seen in any of the other basic skills that modern Americans are expected to master by adulthood. If these people behaved at work, operated motor vehicles, or performed normal hygiene routines with the same level of care and attention to detail as they use in writing, satellites would fall from the sky and the economy would crumble in upon itself. Hey, wait - that's already happening. I'm here not a moment too soon.

So to help our economy and keep satellites and other machinery of modern man functioning in our society, I've decided to be a part of the change I wish to see in the world by selecting bits of Internet and print writing, and assisting others in understanding what's wrong with this writing.

A few disclaimers:

I understand that people write in an informal manner on the web.
I have no complaint with the shortened words used on the web and in text messaging.
I understand that people usually write much more quickly on the web, resulting in a greater number of typos.
I KNOW that English grammar has a lot of confusing rules. I'm going to work on only the most grievous errors. I'll try to avoid discussing gerunds and split infinitives.

That said, here are tips to help all of us avoid looking like fools while sharing our pithiest comments, and prevent others from imagining us as slovenly low-class illiterates who don't bother to comb their hair, and who wear curlers, old polyester sweatsuits, and fuzzy slippers in public. You're welcome.

Original Text:

"Why are you faulting the management company for goose poop. It happens. You are all so stupid. What do you want them to do' Put diapers on all the geese. Idiots. The management staff is not there to make your life easy. They are there to provide housing, and they do a great job. Just all of you stop whining and get over yourself."

Let's break it down.

"Why are you faulting the management company for goose poop." When you ask someone a question in the English language, you MUST end the sentence with a question mark. Just one. A question is a question, and does not gain gravitational force from having additional question marks placed beyond the initial one.

"You are all so stupid." It's never a good idea to call anyone names when there is no true anonymity on the web; you may actually find yourself living next door to someone who feels insulted by your name-calling of three years ago on some website you don't even remember. In addition, if you begin telling people they are stupid, they will begin to question your own intelligence; if the rest of your writing is faulty, they will have endless entertainment at your expense.

"What do you want them to do' Put diapers on all the geese." The stray apostrophe in the place where a question mark is required (see sentence number one) might well be a typo, so I will extend benefit of the doubt. However, the following amusing idea is actually a suggestion based on the question, so the sentence should read: "What do you want them to do, put diapers on all the geese?"

"Idiots." See "stupid" above.

"The management staff is not there to make your life easy. They are there to provide housing, and they do a great job." While the author did an excellent job of following American standards in giving "staff" a singular verb ("is"), the author then stumbled when he/she got to "They" and "your life". The writer has already identified a singular group titled "staff", so should the least awkward next sentence should start with, "The staff is...". The person also addressed "you all", which is more than one person, so he/she should have said "The staff is not there to make your lives easy."

"Just all of you stop whining and get over yourself." Again, if our dear author is addressing all of us, he or she ought to also address all of ourselves, like this: "Just all of you stop whining and get over yourselves."

See how easy it is to attain basic competence in English? As long as there's sentences grating on my mind, I'll be here to show you how to improve them. Happy writing!

101 Best Websites for Writers

2008-05-20T16:49:00.003-05:00

There are literally millions of websites devoted to the craft of writing - and not enought time to sift through all of them! Never fear, Writer's Digest has just published its list of the 101 best sites for writers. You can review all of them here. I'm looking forward to checking out some agent's blogs. How do agents think, anyway?

Bi-Monthly? Twice a Month?

2008-05-16T14:42:00.003-05:00

Does a term like "bi-monthly" sometimes confuse you like it does the rest of the world? If not, beware - someone might be using "bi-monthly" to mean every two months, when you interpret it as twice a month. This makes a big difference when, say, you think you're going to be paid twice a week but the employer used bi-weekly to mean every other week.

Best practice? Don't use these terms if they are likely to cause confusion (which they will!). Write out the actual time period, and give the "bi"s a rest.

How to Choose a Print on Demand Publisher

2008-05-13T16:11:00.009-05:00

Print on demand (POD) publishing is an enormous field - I've heard of at least a hundred companies that provide self-publishing and marketing services for books. In traditional publishing, you found an agent willing to represent your book, worried and prayed while the agent shopped the book around to publishers, and then eagerly waited for the day the book was published (as much as a year later).

POD offers a quicker, more customized option - for a price. Most companies offer a package that allows you to upload your manuscript, choose formatting and layout options, and provide marketing services to promote your work. The books are usually printed as a customer orders them.

I've assessed five of the biggest and most popular POD companies on their services and costs. See my POD comparison file at Pearl Writing Services. Once you are familiar with the basic options and terms, however, there is still an analysis to be done. Each of the POD publishers I documented have benefits and disadvantages, but all are excellent resources. How do you choose the right POD for your project? Consider these questions:

Does your work have broad appeal or will it appeal to those in a specific niche? If your work is for a niche audience, and you have access to promote to that audience, you may not need some of the promotional services offered by some PODs.
How much self-promoting you want to do? Some POD companies offer standard packages that provide for promotional items such as bookmarks, posters, free websites, and business cards; other PODs offer these as extra selections. Don't pay for what you don't need!
Will you also try to sell your book through table sales at conferences, trade organizations, or book readings? If so, you might choose a publisher that offers a steep discount to the author, and then bring those books with you to the event.
How much hand-holding will you need through the process? Some services provide a representative to walk you through each stage of the process. If you are familiar with the publishing world, you may not need that level of service.
What distribution channels will the publisher use? Make sure that these are the channels that your readers will use to find and purchase your book!

Top 8 Free Online Tools for Freelance Writers

2008-05-11T16:29:00.002-05:00

Today's guest post is written by freelancer Heather Johnson.

Thanks to the Internet, managing a career as a freelance writer has never been easier. Whether you are looking for help with the actual writing and research or the business end of things, you can find countless resources on the Web. Even more exciting is the fact that many resources are completely free to the public. Below are the top eight free online tools for freelance writers.

1. Google Docs & Spreadsheets – Never worry about losing your written work again. With Google Docs & Spreadsheets, you can write from any location with an Internet connection. Securely save your work online and pick up where you left off from another location. Not only can you save your work online, you will never again have to pay for commercial word-processing software. Also, you can share any of your online docs and spreadsheets with others for collaboration.

2. Citing Sources – This handy online guide from Duke University will help you to cite any source using MLA, APA, Chicago or Turabian style. If you have any doubts about whether or not you are citing something correctly, it is better to double-check than to accidentally plagiarize another writer.

3. OneLook Dictionary – Why use one online dictionary when you can use a dictionary search engine that combines hundreds of reference texts? Not only can you find definitions on this site, you can also translate any word.

4. The Elements of Style – Every writer should have this bible nearby. If you don't have a copy handy, Bartleby actually hosts the book online for free. Never again will you have to second-guess your sentence structure.

5. PayPal – This is the easiest way to invoice a client and to collect money. PayPal is used by millions of people worldwide and is considered to be a very secure way to conduct online transactions. The free invoicing tool couldn't be easier.

6. Morguefile – Need a free stock image to go with your latest written masterpiece? Look no further than Morguefile, a free resource for public domain imagery.

7. U.S. Census Bureau – When you are in need of a reliable statistic to back up your writing, you can always depend on the U.S. Census Bureau. You can find many studies and survey results on this site and they are all categorized by subject for your convenience.

8. Writeboard – This online collaboration tool is free of charge and comes in very handy for freelance writers. With this tool, you can view and edit work with people from around the globe in real time. For telecommuters, nothing could make collaboration easier.

By-line:

Heather Johnson is an industry critic, as well as a regular contributor on the subject of business credit cards. She invites your questions, comments and freelancing job inquiries at her email address: heatherjohnson2323@gmail.com.

Words you shouldn't end your sentence with.

2008-05-01T10:06:00.003-05:00

Does the title sound a little funny to you? It should. It ends with a preposition - a word that links nouns, pronouns and phrases to other words in a sentence, and tells the place of the noun, pronoun, or phrase in space or time.

Examples: in, behind, with, within, past, beneath, along, under.

In English the preposition usually comes before or very close to its object. And generally it's considered a no-no to end a sentence with a preposition.

However, that rule is not ironclad. If the sentence would be more awkward and confusing if you re-wrote it to put the preposition in its usual place. I would give you an example, but I haven't had enough coffee to think of an awkward sentence.

Keep this in mind when you're writing: in general, the more formal your writing, the more closely you will need to follow the rules of the English language. By contrast, when you are writing dialogue, you will be much more likely to murder the rules, since we relax the rules when speaking in real life.

For this rule, as well as all other parts of English, write in a manner that is appropriate to your subject, audience, and purpose.

Twelve Most Persuasive Words In The English Language

2008-04-28T14:55:00.002-05:00

According to a Yale University study, the twelve most persuasive words in the English language are:

You
Money
Save
New
Results
Easy
Health
Safety
Love
Discovery
Proven
Guarantee

Why should you care? Because whether you write query letters, articles, or ad copy, you need to include effective words that will motivate your reader to hire you, buy products and services, etc.

To that list, I'd also add the words "tips" and "secrets". Check any magazine - you'll often see those words used in the titles. What other effective words do you like to use in writing?

Editing in Color

2008-04-14T17:20:00.003-05:00

I've been working on an editing project, and came across an old memory from my former life in Corporate Hell.

My job title was "Project/Process Consultant" for payroll purposes and "Quality Management Consultant" to the rest of my industry. This meant I spent my life auditing IT professionals about their compliance to our ISO 9000 Quality System and writing reports about said compliance. If you're guessing I was about as popular as the tax man, you'd be exactly right. People shunned me in the hallways.

In one interview, I asked a guy to produce evidence that he was doing whatever he just said he did. He pulled up a blank document. When I mentioned that, in fact, that was a blank document, he said (with a straight face!) that it was actually a white document using white text.

I knew I had to get out of that job when I started imagining me leaping over a desk and stabbing someone with my ball-point pen.

Look! Look! It's my book!

2008-04-07T14:44:00.003-05:00

My first non-fiction book is in pre-order status at Amazon: How to Operate a Financially Successful Pet Sitting Business. If this is a topic that interests you, the pre-order price is a great deal. Shipment will begin in May.

Happy reading!

AdSense Craziness

2008-03-31T10:31:00.003-05:00

This morning, I found a cryptic note in my inbox from AdSense, stating that my site represents a risk to AdSense advertisers and my account is suspended. There was a link to more information, but that information was all about click fraud.

What???

I can only assume, then, that my account was suspended for click fraud. There was no contact information, only an appeals form for me to explain why my site is not participating in click fraud. The information provides no statistics for me on users or link clicks, yet I had to explain why I (or anyone reading my blogs) have not done anything wrong.

Here's the kicker. Since I haven't used Adsense for long, and the policy is to only pay a blogger once the account reaches $100, I was looking forward to my first check this month. I have not been paid a cent up until now.

And if my blind appeal about some mysterious wrongdoing is not accepted, they never will pay me a cent.

Novel Synopsis Help Roundup

2008-03-27T16:59:00.002-05:00

If you're writing a novel and hope to have an editor publish it someday, you're going to have to write a synopsis - a couple of pages of riveting summary about your story. This can be a painful task, but Vanessa Giunta has put together a list of Internet resources to help. Check out her resources at Synopsis Fun on the Internet.

Unexpected Opportunities

2008-03-26T12:06:00.003-05:00

Sometimes opportunities to promote my business come from unexpected places. For example, I'd posted photos from last year's study trip to Ireland and Scotland on Flickr, a photo sharing site. An online mapping service called Schmap found the photos and requested the use of my photo of the Dublin Museum of Natural History! Though I wasn't paid for the the photo, the exposure is worth it.

On this Schmap Ireland Guide, you can view my picture scrolling by the Natural History entry, along with several other photos. Interestingly enough, as soon as I snapped the photo of the lobby's ceiling, a concerned security man told me that no pictures were allowed. I wonder how the other photographers got their interior shots?

I'm moving!

2008-03-17T14:24:00.001-05:00

Within the next week, you'll see my Pearl Writing blog has a brand-spanking-new look on a new site! I'll be interested to hear you feedback, so let me know what you think.

Making Money Blogging

2008-03-06T17:58:00.002-06:00

Good copywriters have the ability to write just about any kind of content, and the Internet is full of advertisers and companies looking for blogging talent. The website www.hongkiat.com has put together a helpful list of sites that pay writers to blog: 26 Sites that Pay You to Blog.

Hongkiat also has some other helpful advice on making money online; it's worth checking out. Happy writing!

2008 Iowa Summer Writing Festival

2008-02-26T17:17:00.002-06:00

My catalog has arrived! The University of Iowa holds a summer writing festival each year,
This is a fantastic opportunity for writers to learn from great teachers and network with other writers who share their passions, all on a beautiful (but hilly) campus along the river. Each year I have a tough time picking a workshop, whether I plan to go for a weekend or a full week. Your writing will be better for having gone!

Click here for the Writing Festival website.

Fanstory.com contests

2008-02-21T09:48:00.002-06:00

Fanstory.com is an online writing community recommended by Writer's Digest as a helpful resource for new and experienced writers. The members offer feedback on your posted stories, nonfiction, and poetry; motivation and support; a ranking system for posted stories, and best of all, writing contests!

Each month offers dozens of contests, but I'm highlighting only the contests that award cash prizes. Remember, you should always be paid for good writing!

Upcoming Fanstory Contests (as noted on the Fanstory website)

Struggle The theme for this non-fiction contest is "struggle". Write about a time in your life when you struggled. How did you (if you did) overcome this period in your life. Incorporate the topic of "struggle" in your non-fiction work. This contest offers a $100 cash prize to the winner! Deadline: Feb. 27th.

This Sentence Starts The Story Write a story that starts with this sentence: "There was a knock at the door." This contest offers a $100 cash prize to the winner! Deadline: Feb. 28th.

Reviewing Contest Every month we make a cash prize available to the reviewer that writes the most detailed and helpful reviews. This contest offers a $100 cash prize to the winner! Deadline: Mar. 1st.

Faith Poetry The theme for this poetry contest is "faith". We are looking for poems that in some way pertain to this theme. It doesn't matter if it's spiritual, political, intellectual or emotional as long as faith is clearly represented. This contest offers a $100 cash prize to the winner! Deadline: Mar. 6th.

Strong Character A strong character can make a story. Write a story based on the character pictured in this announcement. This contest offers a $100 cash prize to the winner! Deadline: Mar. 23rd.

Tanka Poetry For this contest you are challenged to write a Tanka poem. Tanka is a form of poetry with a specific syllable count. See the announcement for an example. This contest offers a $100 cash prize to the winner! Deadline: Mar. 29th.

Flash Fiction The challenge of flash fiction is to tell a complete story in which every word is absolutely essential. A writer must take away the excess until the story is left with nothing but the clean-scraped core of a story. The topic is "the dance". This contest offers a $100 cash prize to the winner! Deadline: Mar. 30th.

Poetry Imagery This poetry contest challenges you to write a poem that incorporates the artwork provided. View the announcement to see the image. This contest offers a $100 cash prize to the winner! Deadline: Mar. 31st.

Marketing ideas for writers

2008-02-08T12:28:00.000-06:00

Ever wonder how some writers have ups and downs in their workloads, while other writers have a continuous stream of work (and income)? Sue Marquette Poremba, from the blog I Breathe, Therefore I Write, has written a thoughtful blog post on ideas to keep the clients coming. Check out this post titled Busy, Busy.

Is your novel your baby?

2008-01-25T11:23:00.003-06:00

Plenty of novelists have likened their novel to a baby. Read this funny, thought-provoking post from Merry at Mom and More for a different view - not my baby!

Teen Tamer

2008-01-18T14:30:00.000-06:00

My very first post on my new blog, Teen Tamer, is now published. Teen Tamer is a parenting advice blog on Capessa.com, a marketing venture for Proctor & Gamble. Enjoy my post on what the wonderland of post-teen life looks like.

While you're at it, have a look at what happens when I let my husband take a picture of me.

Time to Say Goodbye

2008-01-11T16:09:00.000-06:00

This was a dream client - crystal clear specifications, a style manual, pleasant, helpful coaching through the start-up phase, and ongoing feedback throughout the writing project I've been working on with them.

The problem? I looked at the per-hour earnings for this project to date, and I see that it's abysmally low. I could earn more working at McDonald's. And though I could probably adjust this, there was a second problem. I really disliked the work.

When I worked in Corporate Hell, I was a writer and project consultant who was assigned to Corporate Finance, Human Resources, and Technology projects. My team did not have much say over the projects we were assigned. Some of them were fun, like the corporate digital newsletters and website content. Others were horrible, never-ending, tear-inducing projects like the Sarbanes-Oxley compliance and documentation project.

The amazing thing about being a freelance writer is that I can now pick my projects. If I can afford to let a project go because the work is not right for my business, I have that freedom. And this week I'm putting that principle into practice. Even though I really loved working with that client.

Hear Me Roar!

2008-01-07T15:17:00.001-06:00

The very talented (and fellow Chicagoland resident) Merry has awarded me a Roar for Powerful Words! I'm honored.

My mission in the Roar award is to offer three writing tips to other writers, and to pass along the Roar award to five others. So here goes...

Tip # 1: Wake up and pay attention!
The world around us is teeming with the beautiful, grotesque, odd, and wonderful. Wherever you are, practice your best powers of perception and memory. Record what your kids' clothes smell like when they've been out playing in the snow. Remember the quirks you noticed in that tough-looking band of pierced and black-clad teenagers in line at the Dairy Queen. Write down the peculiar things you hear people say on their cell phones. You'll have an unlimited vocabulary for description in your writing, and you'll probably come up with some great story ideas, too.

Tip #2: Write creatively every day.
I know, I know, you hardly have time to brush your teeth every day. Writing? That may be far down your everyday list of tasks. But it is essential to your talent. You need to let your inner artist express itself daily - or when you want to tap into your talent, you may find it dry and rusty. Try writing down 3 lines in a journal or a short anecdote about something funny that happened yesterday. Write down a poem - it doesn't even have to be a good poem. A blog is a great place to prime your pump before jumping into your day's work, whether or not it includes writing.

Tip #3: Don't let life get in the way of your living.
The days you're living now are the only ones you get. If you focus exclusively on the job, the laundry, wiping the kids' noses, you are only part of who you were made to be. Make sure, then, that you don't get so caught up in your life that your dreams are crushed out of existence.

Listen, for almost twenty years I worked at a company I didn't like just because I had to pay the bills. I worked on fiction writing in my spare time, after the kids went to bed, and I looked for opportunities within my company to use my writing skills at work. I never gave up on my dream to be a full-time writer, even when that dream seemed light-years away. If I had to do it all over again, I would have pursued my dreams even harder. And I would have looked for more joy in the everyday.

I need a few days to think of the fantastic writers I know that I'd like to present with this award. Stay tuned!

2007: My Year in Books

2008-01-03T11:13:00.000-06:00

Last year was an eclectic one, as I tried to continue reading the classics and catching up on more contemporary novels. I'm not sure I can remember everything I read, but believe me, the ones I mention below are memorable for a reason.

White Oleander: A Novel Janet Fitch. Recommended by my teen. After her mother is jailed for poisoning her lover, a girl struggles through a series of foster homes. As she suffers starvation, loneliness, and a shooting by a jealous foster mother, she begins to see her own mother clearly, and define for herself what motherhood means. This gorgeous novel had memorable, quirky characters and a twisted plot. The ending draws the heroine's experiences together into an epiphany about mothers and daughters. Without a doubt, the best book I read (or listened to) last year.

The Human Stain: A Novel Philip Roth. Recommended by a former English prof. As a teen, I found "Portnoy's Complaint" to be laugh-out-loud funny. As an adult, I couldn't stomach the moral poverty of this story and Roth's typical misogyny. I put it down after a few chapters.

The Time Traveler's Wife Audrey Niffenegger. Recommended by my women's book club. With an unusual take on time travel, our hero cultivates a relationship in the past with the child who will someday become his wife. Niffenegger has that much-coveted ability to get readers turning the pages. However, I was a little disappointed by the heroine; I wanted her to have more power and definition.

Diary: A Novel Chuck Palahniuk. A former art prodigy starts a diary while her husband lies in a coma after what looks like a suicide attempt. She gradually becomes aware that she's the target of a sinister plot that spans generations - and artists from other times. This book was bitter, glittering, and riveting.

Crooked Little Heart: A Novel Anne Lamott. This is an honest, sensitive, and painful story about a thirteen year old girl who deals with growing up and her best friend's pregnancy by cultivating some secrets on the tennis court. Anyone parenting a teen will feel the anguish of a mother losing touch with her daughter and the struggle to keep her safe.

Gone With the Wind Margaret Mitchell. I vaguely remember the movie from my teen years, and I didn't expect to like this story as much as I did. Mitchell draws a consistent, psychologically sensitive portrait of a self-centered girl caught in the turmoil of war. She navigates the changes in Southern culture and the contemporary expectations of women in ways we would consider thoroughly modern. But Scarlett, as strong as she is, has a fatal character flaw that keeps her from being a saccharine-sweet role model.

Tropic of Cancer Henry Miller. In the interests of full disclosure, I should say that I like stories with a plot. Miller's ugly treatment of every human he romps around with in the seedy backstreets of Paris turned my stomach. I did finish this book, but I shouldn't have bothered.

The Future of Blogging

2007-12-18T11:19:00.000-06:00

Sarah Lewis, of Blogging Expertise, gave an interesting interview on the future of blogging. Most interesting to me were the comments on up-and-coming technology for bloggers, and audio blogging. Read the article here.

The word of the year

2007-12-15T15:51:00.000-06:00

Have you heard? Merriam-Webster's voters have selected their word of the year, and it is..."w00t". An exclamation. With numbers in the middle.

I personally think the world could have tried a little harder to find a word for 2007, but I didn't vote so I guess I have little reason to complain. Anyway, if you're interested in reading the whole story (except for any pronunciation guide for the word), here it is: whole story on w00t.