Chaseblogger | Matching humorous wisdom up against the way the world is.

Introducing, The Death of America blog

2008-07-17T22:48:00.000-07:00

A friend has made the move from an already excellent Myspace blog to what I'm sure will become a spectacular "real" blog. Kevin Cease's new site, "The Death of America," is designed to inform others on what isn't necessarily being covered in the news.

Here is a recent bulletin announcing the blog:

"Just wanted to let you all know I am starting a new blog with updates in politics and economy, along side my opinions on what may be happening. I am truly concerned about the state of our economy and what may happen to us all. My goal is not to persuade what the ultimate plan may be in America, but to inform you on what isn't necessarily being covered in the news, and present it in an understandable matter. This way YOU can make better educated decisions about what do do financially, inform others, and how to survive our bleak future."

I am excited to see what this blog will have in store for everyone. Go bookmark that bad-boy and stay tuned for more!

Reader Survey - I need your help!

2008-07-13T09:44:00.000-07:00

I need your help! I'm trying to make every effort possible to make Chaseblogger the best it can be. There is no better source for help than you, my readers! Please take a moment to answer any or all of the questions below.

I need your help! I'm trying to make every effort possible to make Chaseblogger the best it can be. There is no better source for help than you, my readers! Please take a moment to answer any or all of the questions below. You can answer them in the comments or if you prefer, to my email at chaseblogger@hotmail.com. Anyone who helps out will receive a free copy of my e-book. Its a collection of comedic writing that I'm sure you will enjoy. Thanks so much in advance for all the help!

* What did you first think my blog was about when you arrived at it?

* Did you find it easy to read/navigate/understand?

* What did you ‘feel’ when you first arrived at my blog?

* What suggestions do you have on how I could improve my blog?

* What questions do you have having surfed my blog?

* What words would you use to describe the design?

* What are the main things that you think you will remember about my blog 10 minutes later?

God vs. High gas prices

2008-07-11T20:39:00.000-07:00

Have any of you heard of Rocky Twyman? I just heard this name for the first time on my local news station. It turns out that Twyman has been organizing a national campaign for people to pray for God to deliver us all from our high gas prices.

God is the only one we can turn to at this point," Twyman has stated publicly.

Is this a God matter? Ken Schram, a local Washington state news commentator doesn't think so. Schram thinks that people who pray for God's help with gas are arrogant and that God has far better things to do with His time.

[It's as if] God got nothing better to do than tune into their comparatively petty complaints about how much it costs to fill up their SUV's."

I personally believe that God does want us to pray for even the seemingly little stuff in our lives but at the same time, I can't help but feel like praying for God's deliverance from high gas prices isn't the best prayer to make. What happens if/when God does deliver us? Would we all be so thankful and amazed that the amount of oil we consume would take a sharp drop? Or would we go back to taking long road trips in our motor homes and commuting to work without car pooling?

A far better prayer would be, "God, please help me see how I can be a better steward of the resources that that you have given me. And please show me how I can inspire others around me to do the same." Rather than focusing on the negative aspect of gas prices being a financial burden, we can change our perspective to one that can bring about positive change in all of us.

*On a side note. If I have to hear one more news anchor say, "Pain at the Pump" again, I am going to stab myself in the face with a fork.

The Pregnant Man vs. How Chromosomes Really Work

2008-07-03T21:54:00.000-07:00

Remember Thomas Beatie, the transgender man who was on every television news show in existence as the world's first pregnant man? Even Oprah dedicated an entire hour to the once female who had an operation to become male. . . and eventually pregnant. Beatie, gave birth naturally last week to a little baby girl. What makes it a girl? The fact that she has two X chromosomes; just like daddy.

You see, when a male is born, they automatically carry the X chromosome from their mother and the Y chromosome from dad. Females are born with just two X chromosomes lacking the Y chromosome to properly balance them out. Beatie was born with two X chromosomes and although he was surgically made to look more male, takes testosterone (or did before becoming pregnant), and had his gender legally changed from female to male, he is still genetically a female. There is no escaping that.

Why then has the media decided to play up the idea that this transgender male (or would it be a transgender female? (is that a double negative??)) Also, why did this once female decide to become male but then at the same keep retain full functioning female reproductive organs?

I feel it's not a male or female desire to have a child. It's a human need. I'm a person and I have the right to have a biological child," Beatie said to every news outlet imaginable.I actually opted not to do anything to my reproductive organs because I wanted to have a child one day. I see pregnancy as a process, and it doesn't define who I am."

That's where Beatie is wrong. NO MAN wakes up one day and finds himself unable to shake the desire inside to let a fetus gestate in his insides so that one day he can push it out into the world. It's a wonderful process. . . . for women. Women who have two X chromosomes just like Thomas Beatie.

Brooke and Hulk vs public sunblocking

2008-06-26T15:46:00.000-07:00

I promise that this will be the absolute most that I ever blog about Brooke Hogan's vagina.

An internet storm is brewing over the pictures of Hulk Hogan rubbing sunblock on his daughter. More specifically, the issue with just how intricate of a job he doing.

I promise that this will be the absolute most that I ever blog about Brooke Hogan's vagina.

An internet storm is brewing over the pictures of Hulk Hogan rubbing sunblock on his daughter. More specifically, the issue with just how intricate of a job he doing. After taking a look at the pictures, you can clearly see that Hulk is assisting his sunbathing daughter by applying some sort of sun related ointment and doing so in a an apparently "too close for comfort" way in the eyes of other bloggers. Some of the readers over at Socialite Life find it a little more than disturbing.

He's disgusting. He soooo wants to boff his daughter, so much so that he's dating her double. And, I'm glad to hear that someone else thought that picture of Miley with her head in her dad's crotch was creepy and inappropriate. EWWWW - what's wrong with these people??" - Beanzz

Why is this being made out to be so horrible? Is it a horrible atrocity that I have to change my 1 year-old daughter's diaper? When Brooke was a much younger, Hulk hade to change her diapers and sometimes probably had to use the corner of the wipe to clean crap out her crevices? Eventually, she started menstruating and he had to go buy pads or tampons. Brooke could have even had urinary or yeast infections that needed medical treatment, who knows. The point is that for a large part of Brooke's life, Hulk was the only man in her world that knew all of her personal (usually disgusting) vaginal business.

Fast forward to this summer, Brooke is laying face down on a chair and asks her loving father to lather her up with some sunscreen because she can't reach. After all the diapers, doctor visits, and fem hygiene shopping, Hulk is not thinking anything sexual our rubbing lotion on his daughter's exposed inner leg. If I was in his shoes, I'd be thinking, "Well, at least I don't have to clean poop off her vagina."

Dobson vs. Obama (and anyone else who doesn't do Christianity his way.)

2008-06-24T21:27:00.000-07:00

You must get along with each other. You must learn to be considerate of one another, cultivating a life in common.

James Dobson has taken issue with Barack Obama after someone dredged up the fact that he had been mentioned in a 2006 speech Obama gave to a Christian Ministry called, Call to Renewal. During the speech, Obama had posed a very poignant and certainly relevant question.

If we expelled every non-Christian from the United States of America, whose Christianity would we teach in schools? Would we go with James Dobsons's or Al Sharpton's?

He also went on to cite the various "contradictions" when you compare Old Testament scripts with New Testament teachings but I think it was to sharpen his first point and provoke engaged thought from his listeners, not to spark a debate on a new topic entirely. I believe Obama was referencing back to a letter from the apostle Paul to the church in Corinthians. I have replaced the names of the Apostles with the names mentioned above to help illustrate.

You're all picking sides, going around saying, "I'm on Obama's side," or "I'm for Sharpton," or "Dobson is my man," or "I'm just in the Jesus group." I ask you, "Has the Messiah been chopped up in little pieces so we can each have a relic all our own? Was Obama crucified for you? Was a single one of you baptized in Dobson's name?" * Original verse is here.

Don't you see? He's trying to show us that we all get caught up in listening to people like James Dobson, Pat Robertson, Al Sharpton, or even Barack Obama and then we decide to shoulder up to them and follow their versions of Christianity. Maybe it fits our comfort level best, or we like they way they make us feel or how they speak to us. Maybe we just like the cut of their jib. For whatever the reason, a large amount of Christians have taken sides based on the minor nuances of someone's doctrine rather than focusing on being considerate to one another and cultivating a life in common as we all follow the teachings of Jesus. One look at Paul's letter and we can see that this isn't new. It happened just as the first churches formed and continued ever since.

Apparently, Dobson doesn't think certain questions should be asked. "I think he's deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own world view, his own confused theology. . . He is dragging biblical understanding through the gutter." Really? Just for posing some deep and honest questions about Christianity in a public setting with other believers? What better a place to have that conversation?

Having already hinted toward snubbing John Mcain, and with the now obvious disapproval over Obama, Dobson was questioned by the AP as to whom he planned to vote for. Dobson, a well respected and followed leader of Conservative Evangelicals across the nation, a man who respects and honors the thousands of men and women who risked their lives and even died so that we can have a free democracy in which we can vote for the leader of our nation, said he will vote in November, but might not vote for President.

When I was a boy, I had a friend who would walk over to my house and we would play hide-and-seek in the woods. We both knew the basics of the game; one person hides, the other seeks. We did disagree sometimes on other details of the game. Do you stay hidden until found or can you try to beat your opponent back to base? How high do you count? Do you have to stay hidden in the same spot, or can you move as long as you aren't found? I was eager to clear these things up and offer some of my own ideas of how it could work so that we could continue playing hide-and-seek together. My friend (I'll call him James Dobson) was only willing to play the game his way and if that wasn't good enough he'd throw a fit and walk back home while the rest of my friends continued enjoying life, and playing hide-and-seek. . .

Great contest over at Blogger Buster

2008-06-23T13:54:00.001-07:00

This quick post is more geared to my readers who also run their own blogs. Amanda, over at Blogger Buster is hosting a great contest. I just wanted to decrease my chances of winning by sharing it with you all. Wait a second. . .

My feature request for Blogger Wishlist would be to have a more functional edit post screen. As some know already, I am a contributing writer for Punchline Magazine which uses Word Press. I would like Blogger to adapt the options to separate your list of posts by Published, Scheduled, and Drafts. It's nice to not have some posted entires burying the drafts you saved or have scheduled for a later date.

Comic Legend, George Carlin dies at 71

2008-06-22T22:59:00.000-07:00

Stand-up legend, George Carlin, has passed away. Carlin, who had a history of heart problems, checked into St. John's Health Center in Santa Monica Sunday afternoon after complaining of chest pains and died around 6pm. No more information has been made public.

Carlin was thrust into the national spotlight in 1978 when a legal feud with broadcasters over his "7 Dirty Words" bit reached the U.S. Supreme Court. The justices decided that the FCC did have the right to censor Carlin over public airwaves. When HBO opened its doors to comics, Carlin served the best of what he was and the nation ate it up.

Aside from being the first host of Saturday Night Live, a comic considered second to none in the industry, Carlin also broke down cultural doors and made the stand-up culture we now have today a possibility. Back when comics were getting booked on The Ed Sullivan Show, Stand-Ups were wearing suits and were typically clean cut. George started wearing faded jeans and t-shirts and grew out a beard - even though it meant being booked less. His tenacity will be unmatched and his legacy unrivaled. You'll be missed George.

Puyallup woman beats sex offender senseless

2008-06-20T22:18:00.000-07:00

I have a new hero and her name is Tammy Lee Gibson from Puyallup, WA. About a month ago, Gibson noticed a very tall man chatting it up with her 10-year-old daughter in their neighborhood; a piece of visual information she stored for later. Later came last week, when, along with the rest of her neighborhood, Tammy Lee got a written notice from the state that a level three registered sex offender was moving in nearby. Willam Baldwin, the man in question, had been convicted previously for molesting a 5-year-old girl and while on parole molesting another different girl of the same age. Baldwin was the man Gibson had seen talking to her daughter.

With a baseball bat in tow, Gibson sought out the sex offender and after several slaps to the face, began laying into Baldwin with the bat. She has now been arrested and could be charged with assault and felony harassment charges.

"I kept swingin' and swingin', and swingin," Gobson told the investagators. "If it were up to me, I'd kill him. I'd kill him."

Sure, vigilantism is a slippery soap, but all things being equal, I'll bet this man will never talk to Gibson's little girl again. Period.

My reply to the Jehova's Witnesses. . . in Mad Lib form!

2008-06-15T22:48:00.000-07:00

I finally decided on the best way to reply to Lynda from the Kingdom Hall in Olympia, WA. After careful consideration, I have decided to send back a handwritten letter. . . in Mad Lib form. Let me know if you need me to email you a copy.

Dear Lynda,

Thank you for the (adjective) letter you sent me. I wasn't sure at first how to (verb), but decided to do so and to make it as (adjective) and (adjective ending in -ing) as possible. I live in a really (adjective) neighborhood and I think that having some of your Jehovah's Witnesses come visit us personally at our doorsteps would be (adjective.) The first stop I would suggest is (house number that is not 1325). While many of us are already followers of Christ, I'm reminded that although we have different doctrine, it is God's view that we should concern ourselves with. Clearly, God views your Kingdom Hall as (quote anything from Lamentations). So please, do come and make my neighborhood (verb ending in -ing) (adjective).

Tonight on Blog Talk Radio - Me and Zombies!

2008-06-15T16:53:00.000-07:00

Tonight is my special Father's Day show - All About Zombies! . . . yeah, I know.

Time? 10pm PST

Date? 6/15/2008

Where? www.blogtalkradio.com/chaseblogger

Who? Hey, why don't you stop asking me questions and go enjoy the rest of your day. But then come back in to listen and call in with your favorite zombie flick OR just to wish me a happy father's day.

A letter from my friends at Kingdom Hall

2008-06-15T00:59:00.000-07:00

In the mail, I received a hand written letter that I've transposed below. It is from the NHC Kingdom Hall of Jehova's Witnesses. My question is; how should I respond is at all?

Hello! My name is Lynda. I am writing to you today because I need some feedback from your neighborhood.

I am participating in an international volunteer work. I am one of Jehova's Witnesses. I have some important information that I would like to share with you. A sample of it is in the enclosed tract. In all these lands, people are being invited to benefit from a program that helps people learn the Bible's answers to such important questions as:
Does fate rule our lives?
Does God hold us responsible?
Hope you enjoy this free information. If you have any questions, please feel free to write or call the address above.

Now that I have been deemed the Neighborhood Ambassador of World Religions, I'm at a loss as to how I should reply. Let me know what you think and I'll share next week how it goes.

Is Wonder Woman now a murder suspect?

2008-06-09T22:51:00.000-07:00

While it may be true that authorities do not consider the former Wonder Woman a murder suspect, Actress Linda Carter was spending a nice day out alone with no cell phone on Potomac River in her visible boat when she spotted a dead body in the water.

After waving down a fishing boat to call 911, Carter waited near the body until help arrived. Am I the only one who thinks Wonder Woman killed this person? I think she just rowing away when she realized that a fishing boat nearby might have seen and reckognized her, so she tried to concoct this other story and fool us all with her acting.

The Olympia Project: Starting a stand-up scene in my hometown

2008-06-04T13:21:00.000-07:00

After reading a friend's series of motivational blogs over the last few days, I've found myself pondering the idea of really working toward starting a comedy scene in my hometown of Olympia, WA.

I'm inviting all of you to join me on this path of comedic discovery over a series of blog posts detailing my plans of action, successes and failures. Hopefully, this series will help our readers (if they so choose) to build up a community that fosters great stand-up as well in your own neighborhoods.

Having never done this sort of thing before -- I've neither performed stand-up nor booked it -- I grabbed my pen and paper to brainstorm.

Go read the rest of Week 1 of the Olympia Project at Punchline Magazine!

LinkedIn!

Stop focusing on what you don't want

2008-05-29T17:00:00.000-07:00

Over the last few days, I've been participating in a sort of huge group accountability/motivation group via a friend's blog. In just five days, I've already noticed that I have started looking at obstacles facing me as possibilities to reach greater and deeper levels of understanding rather then feeling defeated and I've been able to focus clearly on what sorts of goals I have and be able to write out a list of things to do in order to see them happen. I'm going to endorse this as a "cure everything in your life" blog because I don't beleive anything but God can do that (in most cases suffering happens anyways for reasons may never fully understand or accept.) I am going to referr you to this blog though because overall I'm feeling more positive and happy and that can't be bad for me or my family and it can't be bad for you or yours.

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=25515051&blogID=398501846&Mytoken=383543BA-6322-4C1E-9A53D2A8286C5E9B211911866

Take care!

People who hate chocolate

2008-05-26T10:11:00.000-07:00

Have you ever met a person who doesn't like chocolate?

The other day I offered to go get some ice cream for a group of friends and asked if chocolate was OK with everybody. One of the guys there said, "I don't really like chocolate."

"You don't like chocolate ice cream, or you don't like chocolate at all?"
"I really just can't stand anything chocolate."
". . . Get out of my house."
"We invited you. This is our living room." etc. ( incorrect useage of etc)

I don't trust people who don't like chocolate. You know who else hated chocolate? Serial killers. And you can't trust those guys either. With there luring personalities, vans with no inside handles, and their machetes and/or rope that they use to kill people serially.

Anytime I meet a person that tells me they don't like chocolate, I jot down their name in a little notebook and once its filled, I'm going to call up Homeland Security.

"Homeland Security Hotline."
"Hi, I'm going to fax over a list of names that I think you guys should check out. You know, for the security of our homeland."
(screeeeeech (in my writing, fax machines and bottle rockets sound the same.))
"Sir, are any of the individuals members of or have ties to any terrorist organizations?"
"No. . . but uhm, they hate chocolate. So I figure there must be something up there. Either communists or serial killers or something."
"We commend you for your valiant efforts in helping defend our nation. We will be sure to tell everyone you know that you right about people who hate chocolate and that it isn't just something you find annoying because you are immature and should learn to accept or tolerate."

Go read my feature article on The Comedians of Myspace at Punchline Magazine!

2008-05-20T07:13:00.000-07:00

The widely popular Myspace Group, “The Comedians of Myspace,” was started in November of 2004 and today remains the largest most active private group dedicated to comics in all of Myspaceland.

“There didn’t seem to be any groups on MySpace that were for comedians, I mean seriously for comedians. All the groups I visited were open to the general public and were chock full of inane bullshit threads such as ‘What’s your favorite episode of Friends?’ or ‘Which comedian is cuter,” says group moderator and comedian, Kris Knight.

You can read the entire feature article at PunchlineMagazine.com - Premiere online comedy forum, The Comedians of Myspace.

How I plan to get all bikini coffee stands closed for good.

2008-05-18T19:09:00.000-07:00

Bikini baristas will be searching for new work after I launch my campaign against the coffee stands that are ruining the drive through experience for coffee lovers everywhere. Tales have surfaced of parents stopping for a blended mocha and cocoa for the kids only to find scantily clad gals offering up beverages and peep shows. Complaints of lines lasting almost an hour long just for a glimpse of the barista with stickers on her nipples. With new stands popping up all over the map and established stands wanting to stay competitive and keep their loyal male customer base by switching over, I can no longer stand idly by.

In my last post, I likened the girls who work at these stands to strippers who can't fully commit to taking off all their clothes. While I meant the remark to be flippant, I realized that the large of amount of tips and male attention over their bodies, probably has a large amount of appeal to many of these girls. Girls, who if approached by someone in the business, would most likely take the next step toward nude exotic dancing. It is widely agreed that stripping is a gateway job to porn. Since most actresses in the adult industry are addicted to some form of drug, it becomes quite clear that the bikini barista job is a gateway to porn and drug abuse.

My plan is simple and is broken down in two main parts. First, I will contact my local Labor and Industries department and inform them of the unsafe working conditions at these stands. Baristas are preparing extremely hot beverages and working with heavy equipment. As such, employees are required to wear clothing that will protect their skin from burns and closed toe shoes to protect their feet from any heavy object falling on them. My calls will be frequent and regular until the stands are forced to put clothes back on their employees or shut down due to constant fines. Also, I will have an assistant drive to these stands and order dangerously hot over sized drinks during peak business when the baristas are most frantic and prone to accident.

Phase two is something I refer to as RCW 9A.88.010 - Indecent exposure. As mentioned above, parents driving through these stands with children in the back are not expecting their children to get a peak of what lies ahead. Turns out, my state has a law in place that prevents someone from obscenely exposing them self in such a way that is likely to cause reasonable affront or alarm to the other person. This crime is a misdemeanor unless the exposure happens to a person under the age the 14 in which case you are committing a gross misdemeanor. I realize that what is legally considered obscene and what isn't is up to a judge to decide, but my plan is to force these stands into a painstaking legal battle of which there is no hope for escape or victory.

Who's with me?

Why I want to get all bikini coffee stands shut down

2008-05-12T11:02:00.001-07:00

The "bikini barrista" occupation is ruining the coffee scene. Earlier this year, a drive thru stand made the local news because the barrista only wore bikinis or pasties while they worked. Apparently this fad is taking off all over the country and now several stands in my area are "converting" over. The problem is that I do not want to go to one of these stands for my coffee and I fear that if I do not do something now, I may not have a choice.

While I have never actually been to one of these novelty stands, I have been told that the lines are painstakingly long. Some wait times have well exceeded 15 minutes. Why? Because lonely or desperate males are longing for a glimpse of an 18-20 something-year-old female preparing coffee in the almost nude and not because they want to enjoy a finely hand crafted espresso drink. I don't care if St. Peter were handing out fake "get out of hell free" cards with every16 oz drink, I'm want my large, triple restretto raspberry breve mocha and I'm not waiting more than 7 minutes for it.

Whenever I get my haircut, check out at a grocery store, or order coffee, I always find myself fighting a small bit of anxiety, hoping that the person helping me does not try to make small talk. I hate it. I'm just not social that way. I'd prefer to keep it to what I expect.

Employee greets me and asks what I would like.
I reply appropriately and wait for my service.
Employee finishes transactions, thanks me. We both say good-bye.

Anything outside of that rough template completely throws me off. Including small talk, asking me to try a special, or asking if I would like to put my name on a paper shoe to help a charity. There is no way I could order a coffee at a stand where I also have to worry about not looking in the direction of the barrista who isn't wearing any clothes.

The only benefit I can see to this sort of position is that it provides employment for girls with low self esteem who have always wanted the tips, attention, and self objectifying behavior that come with being a stripper without having to commit to taking off your underwear or giving a lap dance.

In my follow up post, I will detail exactly how I will implement my plan to put stop to these bikini coffee stands and bring order and sense back to that little corner of my world. You do not want to miss the next post so click here to subscribe to the Chaseblogger newsletter, and you will be notified as soon as it is posted.

Blogging

2008-05-11T22:50:00.000-07:00

I spend a lot of my day reading things on the internet; things that are entertainment, things that have to do with racing, things that are work related, yadda yadda yadda. Inspiration is a funny thing. Pretty much everything is inspiration for whatever happens after it. it's a vicious cycle, really.

Reading the blogs of my friends is like me watching them drive by in cars. I know I want one too, but what kind of blog to get? There are a few canned options out there for people to choose from, and then you have to think about the name for your blog. Choose a bold name and people can take you for an extremist, without a valid touch on reality. Choose a name too weak and you can't sell people on your ideas.

Considering the intent of my future blog-to-be (that is; racing), I'm actually having a hard time coming up with catchy, edgy name ideas for my blog title. Since I'm no wordsmith like Chase, I'm asking you, loyal readers, to spout off potential names for a title for a racing-oriented person like myself.

I think O.J. might have been guilty

2008-05-10T18:46:00.000-07:00

Finally, over a decade since the acquittal, someone has come forward regarding O.J. Simpson's innocents (or lack thereof.) Mike Gilbert, a memorabilia dealer, wrote a book called, "How I Helped O.J. Get Away With Murder: The Shocking Inside Story of Violence, Loyalty, Regret and Remorse" which claims Simpson confessed once after getting high on the marijuana that he did in fact commit the murders. All this after the "If I Did It: Here is how I would do it" book that was written by Simpson last year. I'm not sure what everyone else's thought are on this, but I'm starting to think he may have actually killed those people. Its astonishing to me that our legal system could have let something like this slip. I mean, the gloves clearly didn't fit his hands. Hello??

In a related story, I am working on a book called, "If I Did It: Here is why O.J. Simpson is Mother F&*ker."

Chaseblogger teams up with Paypal

2008-04-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

Have you ever found yourself reading a blog and thought to yourself, "man, I really enjoy this stuff. If only there was some way that instead of leaving just a regular comment, I could leave a dollar. Or 10." Boy, I can't count the number of times I've come across that problem.

Luckily, I have teamed up with Paypal just for that reason. Below (and at the side of this blog) is a handy little button. If you feel so inclined, you can click it and show some love.

Of course, comments are always welcome!

My Family and Friends VS. Autism

2008-04-15T21:16:00.000-07:00

On April 9th, 2008 our youngest son, Noah Vincent, was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, a disorder on the Autism Spectrum. Please visit my blog to read more about PDD-NOS at Roper's Roundup.

Autism Speaks' signature fundraising and awareness event Walk Now for Autism will be taking place in Tacoma, Wa on July 19th, 2008. Please join our team to raise money and awareness. Be one of Noah's Ark Angels!!

If you'd like to walk with us and join Noah's Ark Angels, click here.
If you'd like to support our team and help with our goal of $5000.00 click here.

Need a Press Release written? I can write one for you

2008-04-03T08:07:00.000-07:00

I am going to be setting a up a site soon for comedians to be able to request press releases to be written for them.These can go in Press Kits, be submitted to local newspapers/magazines, or be submitted to online services like PR Newswire for statewide or national distribution. Rates will depend mostly on the length of the PR and be general with a space above for you to be able to reuse and update dates for shows followed by a brief sort of feature written about you OR can be entirely focused on one particular project, show, or event you are involved with.

When you start making bigger money for headlining clubs or touring colleges, chances are you can afford to hire a Publicist or something similar to that. Part of their job is creating and submitting your press releases. One problem I see is that publicsists are not the same as writers. The potential of a well written press release being used in the right way can be huge for someone's career. Also,
nobody seems to offer any services of a Publicist as an a la carte. You’re just faced with paying huge monthly fees (sometimes hourly) when you really only need the service once in a while. That’s what I hope to eventually offer for everyone on a large scale. For now - press releases.

If you are interested in finding out more, seeing samples of features/interviews I’ve written for PunchlineMagazine, or would like to talk more about ordering a Press Release for your self, email me at chaseblogger@hotmail.com.

Zombies

2008-03-31T15:50:00.000-07:00

If I was given the choice between watching a western movie or a zombie movie, I would pick the zombie movie pretty much 100% of the time. Because with a zombie movie,you can’t be disappointed because you know exactly what you are going get. Zombies are going to come up out of the ground and try to eat people. There is sure to be blood gurgling, people screaming, and tables manners being wantonly disregarded. Yep, I used the word "wantonly." You can look it up.

Remember the old Scooby Doo cartoons zombies. Those zombies came with that laugh tracks. Shaggy would be like, "Hey Scoob, watch out for that brain eating Zombie," and then the zombie would be like, "ggrrrhrhkjamble," and then an audience would erupt in laughter. Zombies don’t usually say things that end in "jamble."