Blogging Final Fantasy

December ??, 2008

2008-10-14T11:46:00.001-04:00

...a date that shall live... in return....amy.

Edit: Sorry folks, the current political situation in Bangkok has mucked up Matola's trip -- specifically my return to the States. More on this as it develops

2008-09-30T20:38:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the delays, folks! We're coming back, though. I'm going to figure out how to make my PS2 play, and we're taking on that long haired bastard!

Lots of love,
Matty

Light Warriors? Not anymore, mothafucka!

2008-04-02T23:03:00.000-04:00

Hey, you guys! Isn't it great that Squaresoft has gotten all progressive with this game? They love the environment, they LOVE the gays (getting to that soon!), and... hey! Look! A black guy! And he's always there to make some sort of sassy, hip comment that is totally off the chain. Look, he knows how to tell it to the Shinra:

And why the %$#@! should he bother with that bitch Jenova? He's got bigger fish to fry.

Barret knows the value of some well-placed punctuation.

So we at Blogging Final Fantasy salute you, Barret. You have broken the Final Fantasy color barrier, if not the anime trope that one character per anime must have at least one mechanical limb.

We shall overcome, my friends. We shall overcome.

If you tag it, they will come

2008-03-20T10:48:00.006-04:00

I'm in the middle of midterms, so the FF7 playing has been a little bit slow. I'm in the middle of writing up another post for you guys, but I should be writing a paper about how there are salesmen in both "The Iceman Cometh" and (surprise!) "Death of a Salesman." I know, super profound, right?

So, in the meantime, here's something I found amusing. It's a list of all the various keywords that people have used to find our blog. I've highlighted my favorites-- those which are either the most hilarious, or the most revolting, or some combination of both..

32	30.48%	blogging final fantasy
7	6.67%	final fantasy sex
3	2.86%	final fantasy
3	2.86%	blogging zelda
2	1.90%	welcome to the town of assaram
2	1.90%	oh my hero so far away now
1	0.95%	terra orphanage ff6
1	0.95%	conclusion of my hero
1	0.95%	rosa final fantasy slutty
1	0.95%	kefka
1	0.95%	ff6 endings
1	0.95%	final fantasy ladies
1	0.95%	final fantasy vi shadow/relm
1	0.95%	oh my hero so far away no
1	0.95%	matola
1	0.95%	wow to get dancer on ff11
1	0.95%	10 sex hot
1	0.95%	final fantasy x-death fucking tree
1	0.95%	ff6a magicite list
1	0.95%	oh my hero opera
1	0.95%	final fantasy sex games
1	0.95%	final fantasy vii cash cow
1	0.95%	poopenschaft
1	0.95%	final fantasy plots
1	0.95%	final fantasy the journey continues fan
1	0.95%	ff2j best black mage setup
1	0.95%	blogging ff
1	0.95%	intra species sex
1	0.95%	bloggingdq
1	0.95%	oh my hero
1	0.95%	16 bit rpgs
1	0.95%	final fantasy 7 hot sex
1	0.95%	tecmo secret of the stars
1	0.95%	conclusion about molest
1	0.95%	ff4/ odin / snes
1	0.95%	how to make leo on ff6a gba ff6
1	0.95%	oh my hero, so far away now
1	0.95%	oh my hero, so far away now.
1	0.95%	opera ff3 song oh my hero
1	0.95%	final fantasy rip game
1	0.95%	ramza infp
1	0.95%	ffvi opera oh my hero
1	0.95%	ff6 secret gau scene
1	0.95%	ff6 secret scenes
1	0.95%	game plot
1	0.95%	opera lyrics ffvi
1	0.95%	sabin figaro girlfriend
1	0.95%	hero so far away now smile
1	0.95%	ff7 character list
1	0.95%	j2e ff4 translation
1	0.95%	fantasy ladies fi
1	0.95%	ff7 restore
1	0.95%	celes suicide snes
1	0.95%	molestation fantasy
1	0.95%	fantasy sheap
1	0.95%	different endings for final fantasy 6
1	0.95%	final fantasy 16 bit
1	0.95%	final fantasy 2 translation errors
1	0.95%	ff7 endi
1	0.95%	ff7 added effect
1	0.95%	ff7 added effect odin
1	0.95%	sketch bug gau

You know what this means, guys! More suggestive tagging and titling of posts, from here on in. We've got to attract that coveted sheap fetishist demographic, after all.

Oh, FF7.

2008-03-11T00:33:00.008-04:00

This game brings back memories. Did I tell you it's the first Final Fantasy that I ever played?

Starting up this game, the thing you immediately notice is how incredibly vast and immersive the world seems. I mean, many of the earlier games have large and detailed worlds, too. But Squaresoft uses this opening sequence to whack you across the face, grab you by the hair, and shove you headlong into the grungy, polygon-peopled, and vaguely 80s-inspired universe of FF7, in a way that, frankly, wasn't possible for the non-3D games to accomplish.

Let's take a look, shall we? This is the opening of FF6. (A fan translation, but similar enough.)

It certainly sets a mood. As you may recall, that mood was a vast departure from that of FF5. It's something darker, something with a tad more of the emo to it. But this intro is a real 16-bit device, from the days when graphics could ony tell so much, and the entire story had to fit into a single game cartridge.

Listen, nobody loves FF6 as much as I do. But let's be honest. This is an exposition-fest. Sure, it's a very ominous exposition-fest, and the graphics are gorgeous in their own way. (Which is to say, in a different way than FF7's.) But you, the player, are the observer here. As much as I hate to say it, you have to put a little bit of effort into immersing yourself in the gameworld of FF6. That probably accounts for the big ideological gap between the nerds who favor FF6, and those who favor FF7.

You'll notice the difference in this movie. You start out with the stars, right? That's because stars are in space. You know what else is in space? The Planet. You'll be hearing a lot about this over the course of the game.

Anyway, so the stars are swirling around, and stuff. When all of a sudden, you realize they're not stars, but the embers of some bizarre, green furnace, and they are illuminating the face of a lovely young polygonal woman with enormous, anime-shaped eyes. "Dee doo dee," goes the music, "Dee doo dee doo." Oh hey, the bundle of polygons in a pink dress is being cut off by a motorcycle, and then another one, and there are a bunch of people around! That's because we're in the bustling, futuristic, dystopian metropolis of Midgar! A city with plenty of attractions, like a billboard for "Loveless," the latest fragrance from Elizabeth Taylor. Or the "Goblin's Bar," where presumably the city's ethnic minority of D&D characters meet up to join parties and plan adventures.

When the camera zooms all the way out, to focus on a wide shot of Midgar with the Final Fantasy logo superimposed over it, you get a huge sense of how vast this world is. The people have disappeared entirely. Then the zoomy camera, because it's not done screwing with you yet, zooms in AGAIN, this time on a slightly different zone in the city, to focus on the incoming train that is bearing Our Hero and his cadre of lovable eco-terrorist pals.

You'll notice that this approach really underlines the differences between FF6 and FF7. In the former game, you are actively discouraged from taking on the role of a particular character, with any PC able to assume the party's lead position, and the narrative emphasis shifting from Terra, to Locke, to Celes, or to any amount of side characters during the optional quests in the game's second half. In FF7, you play as Cloud, and the game really emphasizes this. You choose many of his dialogue options; side-characters compliment his manly skills (or his feminine beauty, as we will soon see.) But since Cloud is "our" guy, we tend to believe that what he tells people about himself is true, even when his story is strange or hard to understand. After all, Crono would never lie to us! The crux of the game's plot hinges on the player's identification with Cloud.

That's why opinion on FF7 tends to be polarized-- your enjoyment of the game will largely depend on how well you tolerate the distant, chill, sometimes rude, almost alwys emo antihero at the center of the game. Not everybody loves FF6 the way that Matty and I do, but only rarely will you find somebody that really hates the game. (More often, you will find people that have never played it, because they are n00bs and won't play 2D games.) That's because they will usually find at least one character who they can identify with, out of the main cast, and they will never have to play very much as a character that they can't stand.

Anyway, enough blabbing about the intro. Let's get started! There are always new things about FF7 that I discover each time I play. For instance, did you know that Texas exists in FF7? It's true. They make beer there.

Aww, and look who has her own little liquor license. It's Marlene, you guys! How cute.

One thing that I remembered all too well was this goddamn whore of a minigame. You call this fun, Hironobu?!

SUCK IT.

Or, as the characters in this game are so fond of saying, $%#^@&! you, you &^%$#@*&^ (*&@#$)!~@#(*&%!.

Love,
Kammy

PS: I'm back, you guys!

I love you guys!

2008-03-04T22:49:00.002-05:00

And I haven't forgotten you.... but my laptop broke! That's why I haven't been playing FF7/posting amazing pix. Thankfully, I've just got a temporary setup going with a monitor hooked up to my laptop, so there is light at the end of the tunnel of non-postingness.

So, you know, I'm not dead or anything.

We're back in one week!

2008-01-27T11:17:00.001-05:00

So, loyal readers, since Kamarile needs time to get back to college so she can actually play too, and with my fears of getting too far ahead of her, we'll be back in a week so she can start the journey with me!

FF7: Sticking to traditions

2008-01-08T20:36:00.001-05:00

So, one of the great things about FF7, to me, at least, is how it sticks to the classic traditions that came before it. Take yourself back to FF6, and the battle with Whelk. FF7 starts you out battling a Scorpio-bot, with an identical battle mechanic. Attack when it's <blank>in, and it'll <blank> ur <blank>z.

But it doesn't just stop with repeating battle mechanics. In the proud tradition of Final Fantasy...

There's hoyay.

And, wow. I'd forgotten just how hoyay this game is. I know that we (perhaps over-)use this tag a lot, but you have to admit, when you can take the time in the middle of the heist to comment to one of the womenfolk in your team of loveable terrorists that she looks hot, just like a dude would?

Hmm.

I've commented in the past that every time I play these games, I learn something new. One thing I learned was that after having recently watched the entire season of Firefly (and Serenity), is that I can't resist referring to our wacky hijinks on the rail as 'The Train Job' while sing-songingly reminding myself that there's no place I can't be, since I found Serenity.

...erm, yes. Anyhoo, back to the game.

I mean, FF7 is pretty awesome, if for nothing more than how immature the script will allow you to be, sometimes, and all the things that seem 'risky' and 'edgy' after the prior games.

What other game will let you call a female love interest a 'slum drunk'?
What other game will let you play the part of a terrorist faction that blows up power plants?

I'm actually vaguely of the opinion that, were someone to try to pitch this game now, that it wouldn't make it, what with the whole interactive terrorist module.

And, just in closing -- I do have a 'Cloud, you set the bomb.' screenshot. I'll abuse a lot of memes, but that's one that I'll respectfully decline to touch.

Kamarile will probably be all over it, though.

FF7: It Starts

2008-01-03T19:47:00.001-05:00

So, not too long after my original post, I've swapped out my laptop with one from the office, and I've taken my PS2 and stood it on its edge, so that it stands proud and tall, like a... proud... tall... thing. Both of my problems are momentarily resolved.

Now, back to Final Fantasy VII. Welcome to splash screens that are relevant to the plot in some way, shape, or form. And you get two of them, for the price of one. There's the classic, black screen, and then there's the actual, in game screen, which shows how gorgeous the game is.

And it actually looks a lot prettier than I remember, but that might be because I'm playing it on a quarter of a tiny 12" laptop screen, instead of a massive 32" screen.

Oh well.

The game hasn't changed much from the classic formula, really.   You're a character with a mysterious past (this time called 'Ex-SOLDIER' instead of ????????).   You'll travel in a party of no more than three, and you'll notice that everyone looks vaguely more people-like, and that the game is probably one of the prettiest you'll see, considering the time that it came out.

The things we'll sacrifice?   People are a bit less expressive.    Everyone's very polygonal, (though I don't know if you'll notice that in the screenshots), so a lot of how feelings and emotions are conveyed are through music, which, of course, you don't have, as this is a blog of pictures and words.   This is really unfortunate, considering how expressive sprites could be in FF6, which was enhanced by appropriate music.

FF7 is really a bit of a mixed bag in those terms.   It gains a lot from new technology, but it loses a lot because of it.   That'll probably be the theme of the blog for this game, at least for me.   It's a great game, but is it really better than any other Final Fantasy?

Stay tuned.

Seven Years (is unkind on a PS2)

2008-01-03T18:31:00.001-05:00

So, I go to launch my PS2 to play a little FF7 and start the blog for it, and notice two things:

1) The Gamebridge I bought doesn't show up right on my PC, which makes screenies difficult.

2) ...Disc. Read. Error.

With almost every game I put in, too. Sad, sad tidings. I'm going to take it apart and try to clean the lens, more on this as it develops.

A Holiday Interlude

2007-12-26T19:21:00.001-05:00

So, since Kamarile is at home with the parentals, I've decided to wait a week to start FF7. Instead of moving on without her, I've decided that I'm going to present to you, our loving audience, actual pictures of iSketch games we've played recently.


Merit Award	Bad Man

Also? For your enjoyment? Lolcatz.

Seventh Inning Stretch

2007-12-18T19:35:00.002-05:00

Wow.   It's hard to believe that we're up to round 7 of the Blog.   We're practically finished, we are.

Final Fantasy 7 still has a special place in my heart.   I was 17, a plucky young junior in High School, and we spent our weekends alternating between playing Magic: The Gathering, Dungeons and Dragons, and Final Fantasy VII.

It was my first RPG team sport, if you will.   I even remember when one of our clan was penalty boxed and exiled from the house when he erased the save game that was thirty hours in.   Whoops.

For those of us who came from sprite-based games, it was amazing popping in that first (of THREE!) disks, and seeing these... people (blocky people, yes, but stay with me) on screen.

People! They... looked realistic.   A little pointy, but realistic all the same.

This was huge! No longer were storymakers bound by the limits of pixels! We could have fantastic creations, each one more beautiful than the last.

You'll soon hear me decry this fantastic innovation as the giant-ass sword through the heart of what makes the series great, of course, but still, at the time, this was huge in a good way.

I'll start my journey later this week; I've got a lot of crazy work stuff coming up due, including major deadlines in my first quarter-million dollar project, as well as some wacky home renovations during the holidays, but rest assured, you, the reader, are at the forefront of my mind.   [Interesting fact: While in a meeting for said work project, the lead programmer's cell phone rang and it was his wife. Her ringtone?   Totally FF related.]

Plus, if I play my cards right in this playthrough, I'll have the opportunity to use the hoyay and racism tags in the same post.   How awesome is that?

The real thing isn't really less ridiculous.

The Magnificent FF7

2007-12-17T15:51:00.000-05:00

As soon as I can get an AV multi-out cable for my PS2 to connect to my brand new Gamebridge, Matty and I will be starting our playthrough of FF7. (Actually, I need to find a memory card, too. Yuck.) As with FF5, we have devised a special set of rules for this playthrough. They're a little bit on the byzantine side, so let's run through them:

1. Matty and I compiled a list of FF characters with set classes/classlike abilities. This includes the casts of FF4, FF6, and FF9.

2. We then determined which materia in FF7 approximate the spells and skills of each character. Some wind up far more useful than others.

3. We assigned a number to each character, then, going down the list of FF7 characters, we used a random number generator to decide whose skillset each FF7 character would be able to use.

The intent of this is to thwart the main drawback of the materia system: namely, that the player ends up using the same three characters over and over again. With this system, the characters can ONLY use the materia assigned to them , and therefore we'd be forced to use more characters over the course of the game.

Here is what I ended up with.

Cloud: Cyan
Counter
Slash All
Double Cut
HP Absorb
MP Absorb
Odin
Added-effect/Time
Barret: Gogo
Mimic
*Can equip whatever magic materia the other members of the current party have equipped
Tifa: Strago
Enemy Skill
MP+
Aeris: Edge
Double-cut
Throw
Exit
*Can use offensive items
Red13: Gau
*Can only equip one materia at any given time
*No weapons allowed
CaitSith: Eiko
Titan
Phoenix
Alexander
Restore
Revive
Heal
Barrier
Time (not Slow)
Transform
Seal (not Sleep)
Destruct (not Death)
MP+
Magic Plus
MP Turbo
Cid: Dagger
Shiva
Ifrit
Ramuh
Odin
Leviathan
Hades
Bahamut
Restore
Life
Barrier
Heal
Transform
Mystify
MP+
Magic Plus
MP Turbo
Destruct (no Death)
Vincent: Vivi
Fire
Seal
Ice
Time (no Haste)
Lightning
Poison
Gravity
Comet
Destruct
Contain
Added Effect
MP+
Elemental
Yuffie: Sabin
Deathblow
Fire-All
Enemy Skill (Aero and White Wind Only)
HP+
Double Cut

All in all, a pretty balanced party. Happily, thanks to the double dosage of white mage/summoner skillsets, I won't have to use Cait Sith after all.

Matty rolled the following:

Cloud: Amarant
Throw
Restore
Life
(no All)
Deathblow
HP+
Long Range
Magic Plus
MP Turbo
Added Effect
Counter
Cover
Preemptive
Magic Counter
Return
HP absorb
MP absorb
Barret: Kain
XP+
HP+
SPD+
Tifa: Zidane
Enemy Away,
Steal
Preemptive,
Sense
Deathblow
HP+
SPD+
Added effect
counter
Cover (if in a party with 2 girls)
Aeris: Vivi
Fire
Seal
Ice
Time (no Haste)
Lightning
Poison
Gravity
Comet
Destruct
Contain
Added Effect
MP+
Elemental
Cid: Edge
double-cut
Throw
Exit
*Can use offensive items
Red 13: Relm
Manipulate
Cait Sith: Quina
Enemy Skill
MP+
Added Effect
Counter
Vincent: Terra
Fire
Heal
Restore
Life
Exit
Ultima
Gravity (only Demi)
Contain (only Break)
Morph (for kicks)
*either HP+ or MP+
Yuffie: Gogo
Mimic
*Can equip whatever magic materia the other members of the current party have equipped

Some of my favorites didn't get rolled at all, namely Rydia, who would have been a crazy black magic/summoner powerhouse. But the results of this experiment should be interesting. It took a long time to set up, but I think it'll be worth it!

In the meantime, why don't you sit back and enjoy some of these vintage FF7 commercials?

"Will never come to a theater near you"... if only! Damn you, Advent Children!

Yes, they were right! It couldn't be done in a major motion picture! Which is why Advent Children went straight to DVD... because it was awful!

Okay, I can't say anything else mean. I love FF7, I really do. What I don't love is my lack of a proper AV multi out cable! Curses. Anyway, we will get to this game as soon as possible.

Final Fantasy VI: In Conclusion!

2007-12-15T18:10:00.000-05:00

So, Kammy. FF6.

FF6 -- They just don't make games like they used to, huh, matty?

This? Truth. I feel like we could have probably gone on for a good six months about FF6.

We almost did. ;-)

Quiet, you.

Well, there are many things you can talk about in this game. It's extremely dense.

The awesome thing about FF6 to me is that every time I play it, I discover something awesome I didn't know about before.

Like the toilet squatting? That was new to me.

Yeah, me too. Who knew that during your grand adventure to save the world, you had time to drop the kids off at the pool?

Wait, there's a pool?

That, dear, would be slang for dropping a deuce. ....Anyhoo!

FYI? Poo jokes? Always funny.

...well, she's awful!

Getting the lyrics wrong is also rewarding.

I really think that FF6 is the top of the rollercoaster ride for the series.
You go down a little hill and back up with FF7, and then it's the start of the inevitable decline.

I wonder why that is? I mean, obviously the game has lower production values, is less technologically advanced, and less polished than its descendents.

I think that too much emphasis got put on things like 'graphics' and 'unique game mechanics'.

Like, look at all the bugs in this game! This run I got a sketch bug that froze my ATB bars and I had to reset

I never actually use Relm, unless I'm Lore whoring, so no sketch bugs for me, although this and the other bugs are usually things that you'll never do, like sketching an invisible confused ally.

It was weird, I never got one before. Or it might have been unrelated to sketching. But I think Relm was in my party. Anyhoo.

I am shocked you'd never use Relm. Shocked.

I think my affection for FF6 and FF7 comes from my affinity for those things which are ambitious and a little unpolished. FF6 does some wacky things. The experiment with non-linearity? Suicide, teen pregnancy, in a video game? An entire sequence where you go to the opera? These are crazy experiments. They're things which would not necessarily be attractive to the audience. Although, I suppose that Japan likes suicide, so maybe I'm off on this one.

There's something to that. Six was an epic story, had a lot of great, versatile characters (if you set things up right), but lacked a strong translation for the script which left you scratching your head in confusion. I was surprised at all the 'taboo' cultural things in the game, what with the teen pregnancies and the suicide attempts. But I think those are outshone by things like the opera scene, Cyan's dream. The parts of the game like that are pretty much fully immersive gaming experiences.

It's true; the actual cutscenes that don't involve the player are few and far between. The way the opera scene is designed, it forces the player to be involved and on his toes.

I remember the first time playing the Opera scene when the game just came out, before the advent of internets and such. I actually had to write out the score, because it seemed important at the time.

I also think, at the time, I named all the characters swear words.

Remember that time that we named Terra EsprSx over and over again?
"Only EsprSx can bridge the gap between esper and human"?

Will you be our hope.... EsprSx?

There's so much dialogue in this game, and I think the average player won't see a good third of it.

That's what gives this game replay value. I won't replay a game just to get the ultimate weapon or whatever. I WILL replay a game if it means I get a better story.

Which is a shame. So many of my favorite scenes (Gau and Father, the Brothers in Figaro, etc.) people won't see because they're not mandatory.

Okay, am I a total nerd if I kind of tear up when you go to see Gau's dad? I'm sorry...

Yes... But it's a well done scene. It's goofy, and poignant. That's a good summary of FF6 in general, actually.

Example: The whole guilt Ultros into letting Relm sketch a picture of him so he'll attack himself and leave, only to have your sketch fail because the hit rate sucks on it? Hilarious.

No, seriously, you're right. Goofy, but poignant. Like the opera!

A secret? This scene gets
me every time too.

And we shall use this
power on ~~Alderaan~~.... Figaro!

The other story thing that interests me is that this is a very Star Warsy game too, but it doesn't bother us like 2 and 12.

Well, in 2, you actually had to go into a death-star like dungeon to rescue the princess.

That's true. And 12 smacks of the 'prequels', what with the clone war and the robot fighting. FF6 takes the base elements, small group of rag-tag rebels trying to overthrow the evil Empire and they have the decency to stop short of having Kefka be Terra's father. I think that's why 6 (and 7, but this post isn't about that) is so great. They take all of these really good ideas and mechanics, and they don't overuse them.

For example, you only have a small number of multi-party dungeons. If you had twenty of them? Overkill. You have a fair number of mandatory character selections based upon the story, but a lot of the time, you're open ended as to who you want to use.

I actually like the bonus dungeon in FF6A, since that makes great use of the multi-party system.

It's also hard as balls.

Hard as balls? Maybe you should have that looked at. ;-) Zing!

Zing indeed.

I mean, I hate to be rabid fanboy about a game, but 6 is probably in the top 3 favorite games of all time.

I agree. I think its imperfections are endearing. The limited text space, I think, really keeps the game chugging along. Dialogue in later installments tends to be quite overwrought, and not as quotable.

That's true -- I still have issues with the script, like where they edit out the Celes suicide attempt to be an enjoyable theme-park thrill ride, but beyond that, the characters are likable, well-written, and believable.

But everyone who plays it KNOWS that she's killing herself. The code for that is so transparent as to not really matter.

That's true, but I'm an advocate of calling a spade a spade.

So you can't watch I Love Lucy because they can't say the word "pregnant" when she gets knocked up? It's the same sort of thing.

I still stand by my Kefka is the greatest villain of all time just due to the fact that he's believable statement. What do you think, K? Greatest villain ever, or confused clown who lost his circus troupe?

I love Kefka too. First boss to get an angelic choir backing him up!

This, however, becomes overdone eventually.

And it comes after your mom. Zing!

This is like Ultima, but actually effective.

The problem with future FF games is that they go, hey, people loved this in FF6. Let's add it to this game too.

Everytime you cast Ultima, a Final Fantasy villain gets his wings.

Does anyone actually cast ultima anymore? I mean, I've not used that spell for a long time because there are always mechanics in place that outstrip magic spells.

The kids have Waterga instead, nowadays.

Ultimaga-Os! Part of a balanced breakfast!

I think the problem with newer FFs is overexplanation. They're too neat, if that makes sense. They don't take as many risks, and don't reap as many rewards.

That's a good point, I suppose. I think a bit of the opposite, actually -- that the future FFs are just too overcomplicated, if anything. I *still* to this day don't understand the plot of FF7, FF8 was too high-school romance (which no-one really understands)... the list goes on.

Okay, and maybe this is just me here... but when I was a kid, and I had an SNES, I would play things like Zelda and Secret of Mana with my sister and we'd like, make up dialogue between the characters, basically as if we were playing dolls or something and that's something a kid couldn't really do with a newer game.

You could with FF8, since all Squall ever says is '...'.

I guess. But you don't have the mysteries purposefully left unresolved, like Shadow and Relm. I mean, it's easy enough to figure out, but the game never actually has the tearful family reunion scene, or anything.

Yeah, but if you couldn't figure out that they had some sort of family connection... I mean, the fact that they're the only two who can use the memento ring, for one thing. Then again, I'm sure there's a whole group of people who play RPGs and don't read any of the plot.

But my point is, the game doesn't overexplain and make it a hallmark moment.

That's true. FF6 doesn't try to beat you over the head with 'you must feel sad now!'.

Shadow is a much manlier
name than Clyde. And he has
backstory in spades!

There's a lot of emotion in this and...

...the following scene.

The line that always gets me is Celes' right before she stabs Kefka on the Floating Continent. "Power only breeds war... I wish I'd never been born."
I mean, that says a lot of stuff in one line! Lamely, that line was not kept for the Advance version. There's something lame instead.

I'm continually impressed with how well Woolsey did with the script. That line totally outdoes the Advance translation: "Celes: Power only breeds war... It's something we'd all be better without." -- The 6A script is really awful.

That's a lot more sterile. I don't know, I don't think the most accurate translation is always the best translation.

Though 6A does actually have the suicide scene correctly worded, so I suppose it's six of one...

The FF6A script isn't awful, it's just that too often they throw away the baby with the bathwater.

I don't know. They went in and changed a lot of things. Future games shouldn't set precedent for past ones, and with all these remakes, that's what happens. They take out a lot of things that made the games great, and put puns and pop culture references in to try and make the script 'funny'.

They took away the son of the submariner line, and my favorite Celes line, and the subsequent Kefka "hate" spiel. But there was planty of good, too. I mean, it's a translation by committee. It's not going to have the personality of one done by a single person.

I suppose. I still think they butchered it, but maybe I'm getting nostalgic in my golden years.

Come on, Matty, you didn't think that when you played it in February!

I've played the classic again, and realize how wrong I was. Also? I mainly like it to tweak your nose. Remember how bent out of shape you got with the fan-trans that called him Cefca?

That is a level of accuracy that is too retarded for me.

I wish FF games would get back to the trend of renaming characters that have names that sound stupid in English, like "Lulu" or "Fran"

Fran is a great name. She was the nanny, you know.

It's not a good name for a bunny girl with no sense of humor.

Would you rather her be called Snooty McHopsalot? Anyhoo, back to six.

It's practically perfect in every way. You've got tons of backstory, a driving and engaging plot, characters that are, for the most part, well-balanced and provide limitless possibilities for future playthroughs...

I think I'm ready to score this piece if you are.

Let's do it.

Alright then. I'm not ashamed to do it. Any negative points in six are far outshined by all the gold. 10/10 for me.

I feel loath to give it a perfect score, because it's not perfect.

That's true. But nothing is perfect, after all.

There are plot holes, there are incredibly bad glitches However, I do not think there will ever be another RPG like it. 10/10.

Let me get out my calculator.... that means that FF6 gets a FFNerds score of... 10! The prophecy has been fulfilled.

Coming up next, FF7! Welcome to the era of fantastically bad hair. (No - not the 80s.)

OMG, I can't wait. Did you know that FF7, if you don't count Mystic Quest, was the first FF I played?

I did, indeed. Did you know it was *not* the first FF I played?

Yes, I know. Hey, and when I played it, I didn't know anything about anime, so I thought that being able to fight dragons with a machine gun was super original!

Machine guns, dragons, motorbikes.... FF7's got it all. Stay tuned, folks, you'll love it.

Ending

2007-12-15T16:58:00.000-05:00

Now what are we going to say about the ending to FF6?

Other than the fact the ending to FF6 is the best ending in videogame history?

You mean better than Mario 2's "It was all a dream" ending?

That was actually the exact counterpoint I was thinking of. I mean, it's easily the best FF ending compared to the prior ones, in that, I don't know, you're not fighting a fucking tree.

Interesting note: FF6 and FF5, the only games in the series with non-linear endings. Unless you count X-2, which you don't.

I can't believe you'd sully FF6 with a post about X-2. I mean, FF6's ending is brilliant. It has customized parts for every character that ties into their individual storylines. It's actually probably the most serious part of FF6, though.

Yes, two of your party members die in the escape!

Sadly, none of them are Relm.

For me, a discussion of the ending of FF6 really rests upon the music. Uematsu has three tracks in FF6 that are better than anything else he has ever done. One is the opera. One is the final boss music. And one is the ending.

This is true. I think that, occasionally, I play FF6 just for the music.

It's here that you realize how clever Uematsu really was with his character themes. Like, how he designs Celes' and Locke's themes to be played together.

Locke and Celes - together because of harmonies since 2007.

I mean, the music adds a real poignancy to the ending-- an ending that isn't really so much about what the characters are doing as who the characters are.

Somewhere on the Internet, I'm sure you've just spawned a novella about philosophy in FF6.

Well, when you look at the endings to FF4 and FF5, they're very action-oriented and happily-ever-after-ish. In FF4, seriously, everyone becomes a king, except for Kain, who becomes an emo. And in FF5, the non-linear aspect is pretty much the luck of the draw, based on who is KO'd at the end of the final battle. In FF6, your ending changes if you didn't find certain characters. Celes gets a different ending without Locke, Relm gets a different ending without Strago, Edgar gets a different one without Sabin.

That's true, there's a lot of dialogue change, but on the all, it's also a very happy ending too. Terra goes back to being a baby momma, Celes and Locke doink on a bed of bandanas... even Strago and Relm ride off into the sunset together.

That's all implied, though. It is implied that Celes and Locke get together, but they ever actually confirm their lurve throughout the entire game.

Okay, if Celes is like, hoshit, this place is collapsing, gonna die, whoops, dropped a bandana of Locke's have to go get it... that's a little more than implying.

No, but if this were FF4, we'd see the wedding.

This is true.

I think if there were a fanfic that said that Celes and Locke broke up after a year because she's too emo and he loves his ex too much, I wouldn't call that OOC.

I don't know that they've got the true love that shall live forever, but you definitely know that they're rocking it in that tent on the save circle.

Okay, I'll give you that. Another sad thing: Shadow kicks it.

Well, he was understandably emo that his partner-in-crime/partner-in-the-sack died.

Right. So, all I'm saying, is that the ending is on the bittersweet side.

It's not all rainbows and sunshine, but it's pretty cheery, really.

Of course, once everyone realizes that Terra is alive, and can be a real live human girl, everything gets SUPER happy.

Exactly. Note to Square: Better ending? Terra dies.

Oh, come on.

Look, I'm sorry. But it's true.

You have to have a heart of stone not to smile just a little when the FF Prologue music is playing, and flowers start to bloom... and Duane sits in the back room while the small children of Mobliz deliver Katarin's baby...

I mean, that could all still happen with Terra taking a dirt nap. If Terra dies, everyone goes home a little wiser.

Awww, but FF6 is all about hope! If Terra died, it would be so nihilistic.

Admit it though, you'd bawl your eyes out if she did die. They could bury her next to Leo.

No, they couldn't, because if she died, it would be because the esper part of her poofed away like the magicite!

So they could bury half of her.

Oh, whatever. You can't kill your hero at the end of the game. It just doesn't happen.

Maybe it should. Wouldn't you have liked FFX better if Yuna died? No sequels.

So what makes FF6 the best game ending ever, if Terra's survival renders it imperfect?

It's a lot like the game. It's quirky and serious. Everyone gets to play a role in your survival, even if you've neglected to level them because they suck ass.

I think I screencapped like, everything in the ending.

As did I. It's all gold. I'm just saying that I could see a very good ending where Terra dies. Or even where it's left ambiguous.

FF6 is the happy medium between the overexplained ending of FF4 and the extremely ambiguous ending of FF7.

I think that's why it's so great. It's like the baby bear's stuff in Goldilocks. It's not too this, it's not too that, it's juuuust right.

Of course, I also love the FF7 ending, but many people didn't, at the time.

The 7 ending is a lot more clear than the 7 story.

I still think that if Terra died, it would defeat the whole point of the game, which is about Terra trying to find her place in the world.

Her place in the world could be in a wooden box!

You're a meanie!

I know. I'm a horrible, horrible person. Let's see if you defend Cloud so much in FF7 when I say he should have died.

I think the same is true for FF7. The game is pointless if Cloud dies, because the game is all about trying to figure out who Cloud is.

I mean, Terra couldn't die and have the ending make sense, of course. It's silly. Cyan beating up on machines, Setzer not trusting his luck... it's like everyone grew a little bit after saving the world.

I mean, yeah. And the growing is small and incremental, and not dramatic in every case. The game doesn't overreach.

Which, for any other game, might be an insult. The game doesn't strive for some the highest peak, it chills in the middle and speaks with the people.

Like, I said before that this game is ambitious, so I'm not like, revising that or anything. I just think that it is true to its characters and to itself.

I mean, that's 6's strong point. The plot and character development. They carry that right on through to the end, without doing something silly like, I dunno, killing the main character to be edgy.

Yeah, that would be silly, wouldn't it.

And not FF6 silly, appearantly.

So, our message to Square: You go, girl.

Are there any high ranking girls at Square?

Probably not. It's Japan.

Oh, right.

Anyway, stay tuned for our FF6 edition of Games In Conclusion.

It'll be great. (And someone might die!)

Blitzen in das Poopenschaft

2007-12-10T19:26:00.000-05:00

This is how FF6 Advance translates the name of Sabin's ultimate blitz.

Lies! All lies!

See? BUM RUSH. I mean, Phantom Rush? Come on. We all know that Sabin doesn't take it up the phantom.

Oh yeah! I went there!

Ladies, represent!

2007-12-09T17:17:00.000-05:00

I know, I know, we always say that FF6 doesn't have a protagonist, but really, it does. It has two, in fact. Terra:

And Celes:

That's right, bitches. They're bitches. FF6 is the only game in the series where a woman can be considered the main character. It's the only RPG I can think of off the top of my head, too. Well, that and Phantasy Star, which I haven't played. And Parasite Eve, which I haven't played either. And I guess in the early Dragon Quests you can make your hero a girl if you want. (That was awesome. The DQ4 party of Mara, Nara, Alena, and Kammy? Unbeatable. Who says you need men to kill metal slimes? Anyway, I digress.)

This is another neat risk that the game developers made that they didn't have to. I'm sure there are many little boys out there who don't want to play video games where they have to be the girl, just as there are probably many who think that sitting through an in-game opera is totally gay. To this, I say: Way to go, Square. You weren't pandering here. You thought about what would be the best concept, and went with it, rather than market-testing and determining that 15-year-old boys want to have large, potent dongs, and then making your character designs accordingly.

The way Squaresoft generally treats female characters hasn't changed too much since FF4. There will always be three girls in your party. One will be the gentle, innocent, and naive white-magic user, who is the love interest of the hero. The secondary female character will be a cold and aloof fighter, who may or may not need to be mastered by the wang of some guy in the party, even though she pretends not to need teh cock. The tertiary female is a cipher whose main purpose is to be jailbait. Gee, these archetypes sure don't tell us anything about Japan, do they? The ladies of FF6 can indeed be catgorized in this way. Relm, of course, is the jailbait.

Celes is the frigid ice maiden.

Terra is the innocent girl with a magic pendant. Did you know she has a magic pendant? ALL Type A Japanese RPG female characters have magic pendants.

But surprisingly, this game manages to transcend the character types. Let's look at Terra, for instance: sure, she has the trappings of the heroine that needs protecting, in much the same way as, say, an Aeris, or a Yuna, or a Rosa. However, she's got some of the trappings of the traditional MALE FF hero too: amnesia, a history of working for the Evil Empire before joining the rebels, a knack for communicating with ellipses. Moreover, her big existensial crisis-- her fear of her inability to love-- is not resolved in a traditional way: ie, falling for the male hero. Instead she discovers what love is by being a mother to the abandoned children of Mobliz. This denouement is surprisingly feminist for something coming from Japan: Terra's personal discovery comes from herself, and isn't dependent on a man. At the same time, she is genuinely feminine, unlike the fantasy/sci-fi trope of the invulnerable warrior babe. Could you imagine a man like Cloud taking some time to run an orphanage and consider his capacity for love? OH WAIT, that happened-- in Advent Children. GOD, I hate that movie. Can we just pretend it never happened?

Celes, on the other hand, does get a romantic plot, but the love story with Locke is handled in a very subtle way, compared to the more love-centric FFs that we have come to expect in later years (FF8, FF9, FF10.) It's complicated by her past as a war criminal, and the fact that he has his ex-girlfriend's corpse hidden in some guy's basement. They never even say that they love one another; instead, they prefer to exchange as significant glances as 16-bit sprites are capable of, and to refer to one another's aweseomeness obliquely.

Celes' love is, in fact, the driving force that binds the game's disparate World of Ruin half together. For the first half of the game, she is depressed, nihilistic, and, dare I say, a total emo. "You'd better leave me here in this dungeon, because I'm not worth rescuing and I deserve to die!" "Omigod, Gestahl and Kefka, you are so awful to me! I wish I'd never been born!" and of course, the memorable "Everyone I love is dead, so I might as well throw myself off this cliff!" Then, when she starts believing that Locke could be alive, she becomes a beacon of positive thinking, and travels around the world to get people to put down their pints of Haagen Dazs, quit listening to Evanescence, and get ready to save the world again.

Also, keep in mind, that while these two ladies may have lovey-dovey character arcs, they can also use the Atma Weapon and Illumina. Oh yeah, and the Minerva.

So they're not delicate little flowers. Come on, Squaresoft, it worked so well! Plus, it's kind of nice getting to play a game as a girl. Why can't you do stuff like this more often?

Six Innovations: 3/3

2007-12-07T19:14:00.001-05:00

So, for my final FF6 post before our joint ending summary, I'll throw out the two final innovations I wanted to bring up.

What makes FF6 one of my favorite games is that they took the concept of multiple worlds from FF5, but did them right.    This screenshot?   One of the most epic testaments to how awesome the game is.

And it's only eight little words.

Check it.   You're fighting this epic battle for truth, justice, and light.   You hit your epic climax, where you stare evil in the face on a giant floating continent. Your psuedo-ally, ninja for hire, slits-his-mamas-throat-for-nickels, has sacrificed himself to save you and your party, and then what happens?

Total. World.   Annihilation.

Eight little words open up the entire rest of the plot.   And the plot is good. Amen.

Suicide references abound in FF6.

And, last? The plot.

Which is really deserving of a post unto itself.   (Maybe Kamarile will bring up a post for it).    But I'll mention it briefly.

I have 1500 pictures.   Most of which are some sort of interesting in-game dialogue.   This game, to me, is probably the pinnacle of story-driven gaming.

Kamarile and I have argued much in the past, as you no doubt have heard me mention.   Great plot won't forgive horrible gameplay, great gameplay will do much to forgive horrible plot.

But, in the case of FF6?   It almost makes me believe that plot could forgive all evils.

But then I remember X-2, and think that no amount of plot could forgive that.

Six Innovations: 2/3

2007-12-03T20:07:00.001-05:00

When I last left off, I was extolling the virtues of FF6, and it's great multiparty dungeons.   They do this again, with a slightly different twist, in the form of a one-screen battle royale, except this time, the enemies are actually on-screen.

Now, I know, lots of other games before have had you fight creatures you can see (as opposed to random encounters, which occur seemingly randomly).   But this?   Very cool.   It's Terra! And she's in trouble!   And you have to protect her!

A fair amount of strategy can go into this too.   You can charge boldly forward, trying to outrun the guards coming the other direction (who are taking their sweet time, I'll add).

You can do what's being illustrated in this screenshot, and just block the damn path, effectively stopping the forces of the evil Empire from being able to walk past you and your two stuffies.

Or you can, if you're doing a low-level game, memorize their moves and walk past every soldier to battle the commander hassle free.

It's cute, it's fun, it's vaguely gimmicky, and it'd suck if it was used any more than it is, but it's a bit of a delightful diversion from the walk ~40 steps, get in a fight, lather, rinse, repeat.

I know what you're thinking,
and that is so not kawaii.

       You wouldn't believe how many
   screenshots I have of him dealing this
                  much damage...

It may strike some of you as surprising, but I'm going to throw this on my list.   Ridiculously broken game mechanics.

Setzer, amazingly, is one of the godliest characters in the game.   He has the (somewhat unlikely) potential to deal 39,996 damage per turn at his lowest level.

That's right.

This all comes from the fact that the damage from the dice are not halved when you use the offering (4x attack), and that the damage is: 2x Level x Dice 1 x Dice 2 x Dice 3.   So a level 10 Setzer that throws 4 4 4 would deal 1,280 damage... except that he gets another 4x for rolling all fours.   That's 5,120 damage instead.

Now, sure, most of the time you'll hit less than a thousand, but more often than not you'll bust out some crazy numbers.   5120. 9999.   And with four tries per attack?   And if you slap a Black Belt on him, letting him counter attack?   He's crazy deadly.

Setzer isn't the only one who can deal damage like this, of course, but those are under slightly less crazy broken game mechanics.... but since I've already done my post for today, you'll have to wait for the next one.

Six Innovations (that is to say, FF6 innovations, not six in total) pt 1/3

2007-11-28T17:54:00.001-05:00

So, according to Kamarile, I apparently love the hell out of game mechanics.   A typical IM conversation for us today led to the topics of our next two posts -- we discovered that she loves plot and story, and I love cool mechanics and the methods by which you convey yourself from plot point to plot point.

And it's true.   You've seen on this very blog an argument about games with great plot and bad gameplay and with superb gameplay but atrocious plot.   I still believe, on some level, that great mechanics will forgive really poor plot.   I'm not so sure about the other way 'round.

But, back to Final Fantasy 6.   The first cool thing about it is the sheer number of characters you have.   Look at them!   There's fourteen!   And, shocker, they're all unique!   They're not like, generic mage type person #316, and random chick with giant gozongas #4.

Other games have had a lot of characters, and they've been unique, but here, you've got a chick that can double her magic power, a friendly thief, a samurai that turns time into powerful attacks, a ninja who can throw, a sexbomb who can use machinery, a body builder who uses a street fighter style mechanic to deal damage, a girl who can absorb magic, a blue mage, a kid who can control people, a sexbomb who can use slots, a moogle that can berserk himself and dance, a wind god who can take on the attacks of pretty much any enemy in the game, a character who CAN do anything in the game....

And, um, a sasquatch.   Hey, they can't all be winners.

Step one, put a pointer in that box.
Step two, throw a PC in that box....

Another innovation, and my favorite mechanic by far to be honest, is multi-party dungeons. Check it. There's Gau. But wait! There's Gogo! How can this be? Law clearly dictates that you must wander around the world with no more than 3 of your friends, all compacted into the space of one person.

This is one of those mechanics that is used well, and used at the right times. There are a whole two dungeons in the World of Ruin that use this mechanic -- the final dungeon, and the Phoenix Cave. (The GBA version has a third, bonus dungeon that employs this mechanic.)

This is nice, because it allows you to explore the depth and variety of all the cool characters that you end up collecting, rather than continually using a stock party of three or four characters.

One might argue that you then have to spend three times longer leveling up, but, again, nothing is perfect.

If there's one thing I've learned from these games...

2007-11-25T16:50:00.000-05:00

... it's that family is a beautiful thing. If your brother becomes some sort of black-garbed, cackling villain, all that you need to do is stage an intervention with your uncle if you want him to realize the error of his ways. Even deadbeat dads who are also hitmen can provide you with free puppies, if you play your cards right. Isn't that great? Families are so special.

However, there is one thing that you should know when it comes to families. And that is that you should never have grandchildren. Because if you have grandchildren, YOU WILL DIE. This isn't a value judgement or anything; it's a cosmic rule of the universe. Nothing shows this better than FF6.

Exhibit A: A healthy, happy, Cid, dressed like a condom, as is his wont.

Aww, isn't that nice? A happy reunion. But uh oh, what's this?

WHAT?! Celes wants Cid to be a grandpa? No, Cid!! No! Don't do it!!

SEE? The instand that Cid becomes a grandfather figure, he is stricken with a mortal illness that I am too lazy to cure.

Oh Cid... it didn't have to be like this.

From all of us here at Blogging Final Fantasy

2007-11-22T10:45:00.001-05:00

We want to wish you a happy Thanksgiving. Or a Happy 'Hey, the Americans are stuffing their faces today, so why don't we do it too, eh?" day, if you don't celebrate a Thursday in November by gobbling down six pounds of Turkey and two liters of cranberry sauce.

A treatise on Kefka, pt. 2

2007-11-20T19:43:00.001-05:00

So, when we left off, I was talking about the fact that Kefka, more so than other FF villains, is awesome, only because there are so many human elements to identify with. (Again, see also: FFVI, better translation).

Kefka is not just a pretty face. Kefka is not just 'human'. Kefka's smart. Completely off his rocker, true, but smart. It's pretty common knowledge that the party will take whatever their arch-nemesis (or anyone else) says on blind faith, but Kefka uses that to his full advantage.

So, let's set the scene. We've got the party, who is planning on bringing down the Empire with the aide of one of their formal generals. Locke has been all, "OMG you guys, Celes is so totally on our side, like, y'know? Sure! She's torched a few cities in her time, but, like, totally reformed, 'kay?"

Other party members were reluctant, at first, but remember -- the heroes believe anything anyone ever says. Ever.

So, they welcome Celes into the fold. Cake and ice cream are had by all. Then they break into the Empire's Esper-draining facility and interactive learnatorium, where they run into Kefka.

Kefka explains they totally fell into this awesome trap orchestrated by Celes. And Locke is all emo and sad, and Celes is all nuh-uh, but they still choose to believe Kefka, sending us in an emo-tinged downward spiral that will last the rest of the damn game.

A villain, trying to break up
the heroes? This is nonsense!

Even after this -- your party still has to go back and ask the Emperor at a later date: "So, now that you're getting your asses stomped by a bunch of ultra-powerful pseudo-monsters, and we're the only people who can save your power-grubbing hides, and I know you've betrayed us once before, but you'd definitely never do it again... [pause to catch breath]... Is Celes really a spy, or can we trust her. Like we trust you now. Because we're good friends."

This, also, might explain away the script problems with a good 'there's not enough storage space to hold all the implied dialogue.

...The more I think about it, Kefka might be a good villain just because he, and by extension, the Empire, are just damn clever.

...or maybe your party is dumber than a box of rocks. Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Oh my hero, so far away now. Will I ever see your smile?

2007-11-17T16:01:00.000-05:00

Yo, we need to post about the opera. What can we say about the opera?

What can't we say about it? It's probably the first epic cutscene in Final Fantasy history.

I guess. It's hard for me to call it purely a cutscene, because it's so interactive.

It's interactive, in that you have to click a few buttons.

Well, and fight a boss battle.

I don't consider, say, the struggle out of the gas chamber a cutscene, in FFVII. But this is more scene than not.

That's true. Now, why exactly has this particular scene become the definining FF6 scene in the minds of fanboys and -girls like ourselves? Wait, that's a rhetorical question. I have an answer.

I don't know-- maybe it's just that it's got cute opera music.

That's part of it. like, what I said about music and graphics being really important to the game's aesthetic? That's true here.

That's true-- the music is great, and on top of it all, it's a very funny scene too.

That's the nail on the head there. Like, I think you can look at the opera scene as a microcosm of all that's great about FF6. You start it out with this overture, yeah? It's this kind of dramatic prelude, and then this guy promptly takes a pratfall in front of all these chocobos running across the stage. Then Locke goes down into the dressing room to see Celes, and there's this kind of emo yet understated love scene, where neither of them admits that they want to jump the other's bones, but you know it's true. OTP.

Yeah, it's almost very highschool romance. "Tee-hee, you're pretty." "(omg, he thinks I'm pretty!) Uh, we'd better study the score one last time!" "Yeah, that's what my last girlfriend said!"

Oh, there's a tinge more emo to it. She's all like, are you only helping me because I remind you of your dead girlfriend whose corpse is being preserved in an old man's basement on your instructions and whose death you obsess over and feel responsible for? And he's like, um, I like your hair.

I was trying to gloss over all the damn emo.

But like, there's emo AND there's hilarity!

It's like watching Panic! at the Disco fall off stage and hurt themselves!

Yeah! Like, then you have the aria, which is kind of silly and kind of touching at the same time. I mean, when you have to dance with the ghost of Draco? Annoying and hilarious.

The aria is the very essence of FF music to me. That, and by extension, Celes' theme. Those two become the cornerstone of token female lead themes to me.

I agree. I think it's one of the most, if not the most, beautiful melodies Nobuo ever wrote.

I'd have to agree. I can't really think of any other piece that reminds me of future ones to come. Mainly because, while good, most of the other songs aren't very memorable.

I mean, I think the character theme work in FF6 is superb. There are a bunch of characters with really great melodic themes. Should I rattle off a few? Terra. Kefka. Gau.

VI probably has the best musical score ever.

The Figaro boys. Shadow. Relm. etc.

There's not really a bad song in the game.

Well, there's that Locke Throws Up on a Boat music.

I always crack a smile at the colosseum music. You have this very dramatic, serious, and somewhat sad overworld music. And then you step into the colosseum and it's like you walked into Vegas.

Ragtime Vegas.

I'd make a crude joke about now, but that'd be an insult to the opera, so I'll not.

Okay, good; I love the opera. Wait, that's what we were talking about, right?

Originally, I think. The oepra really perfects what is 'good' about FF6, so it's easy to get distracted.

But yeah, you have the kind of poignant aria immediately followed by the silliness of the dance, the duel, and the Ultros fight. My favorite part is how he announces that it will take him five minutes to push a weight onto the stage.

Yeah, and then the clock pops up and you're like, wow, Ultros has mad physics skills. And even the battle with Ultros is ridiculous, because he's pretty much a big purple wuss.

So like, the people who are all "The opera is the best part about FF6 because it is so moving and deep" are wrong. We're right. PS, Matty: FF6 opera original:

or FF6 opera advance?

Original, I'd have to say. Though the advance was interesting in terms of novelty.

It's hard for me to say.

I figured you'd be a purist.

I like the new translation because it fits the lines of the melody, and I like the improved synth voices. But the sound quality in general is so, so, so much better on the SNES. I can't decide. Both have their pros and cons.

That's true-- all other things being equal, you have to defer to the classic. I suppose it's telling they couldn't really make the opera 'better.' And making it 3D, Can you imagine how irritating it'd be to chase that loser dude during the dance?

I'd still play it, though. And you would too. Don't deny it!

Oh, I'd play it. But I'd also show pictures of Celes sneaking up from behind to do the lambada instead of the waltz.

In conclusion, the opera scene is awesome. of course, opera makes everything cooler. Could you imagine this game being made today? Celes would be singing J-pop in booty shorts, and there'd be a remix over the ending credits sung by some helium-voiced Japanese lady.

You know, I bet that, somewhere, there's a remix of the opera done with Yuna in short shorts.

Yuck.

Things I don't like about FFVI, pt. 1

2007-11-16T19:42:00.001-05:00

While I'm waiting for Kamarile to man up and post something....

I'll admit. FFVI isn't perfect. *gasp* *shock* *horror*. Now that we're done with that... this is actually less a complaint about FFVI, and more a complaint about American censorship. Let me present to you, the discerning audience, the following scene.

Now, I'm not a big-city lawyer, but one doesn't often take a 'leap of faith' when you're feeling down. It certainly doesn't perk you right up. But there it is. Why include this scene at all? Sure, Cid has died, and she's sad, and boo-hoo, end of the world trauma. She goes to the cliff, jumps, and wakes up on the beach crying. You could have easily just skipped the cliff and jumped to the beachside boo-hoo.

Ah well.

Also? Funniest thing ever?

Hee. They're pooing.