The Work/Life Balancing Act

Work/Life Balancing Act Relocates

2008-06-19T11:43:00.004-04:00

As of today, my work/life balancing act blog will relocate to Typepad. Please update your bookmark and RSS feeds. The new address is http://miamiherald.typepad.com/worklifebalancingact/

Will Dad Ever Do His Share?

2008-06-18T11:33:00.003-04:00

In a provocative article in The New York Times, writer Lisa Belkin delves into the concept of equal parenting with When Mom and Dad Share It All.

Belkin points out that experts say any way you measure it, women do about twice as much around the house as men. But there is a movement underway toward marriages where spouses are each equally likely to plan birthday parties or put the children to bed or be the parent who goes along on the school field trip.

As Kathy Lingle points out on her work-life blog some call it “shared care”, while Belkin prefers the phrase “equally shared parenting,” but they are both talking about spouses who vigorously attempt to split the tasks of parenting (and housekeeping) precisely down the middle. Each partner doing exactly half of everything.

Sometimes, though, when a man earns more, he feels he should do less at home. As Lingle notes, gender does seem to exert an inequitable tug on the division of labor at home. Belkin quotes Francine M. Deutsch, a psychology professor at Mount Holyoke and the author of Halving It All: How Equally Shared Parenting Works as saying "the nuances of relationships are complicated, built on foundations that even we may not see until we try to alter them. If your partner’s ambition is what attracted you in the first place and if his/her decision to dilute that ambition would make you think less of him/her, then this is not for you."

But what happens when you take gender differences out of the equation. To do that, Belkin looked at same-sex couples. She discovered, "While straight parents get into the blame game about who is shirking responsibility, lesbian moms bicker about not getting enough time with the kids.'' Belkin discovered lesbian couples have a more equal division of housework and parenting than their heterosexual counterparts.

What do you think of equally shared parenting? Would it work in your home?

Do working dads worry about kids while at work?

2008-06-15T21:00:00.003-04:00

A Father's Day article in CareerBuilder caught my attention both for the tips it gave and the assumptions it made.

"Men who place a high priority on family often need to be thick-skinned about it,' said Pam Ragland, owner of Aiming Higher Quantum Success Co., a personal and business consulting firm. She says men tell her they feel like a pansy if they end up dong things women traditionally do like chauffeuring children to activities.

Next, Ragland gave this tip: "Allow yourself to focus only on whatever you are doing during that time block. No worrying about kids when you are working, no worrying about work when you are with your kids. "

I read that and my first thought was that I really doubt most married men worry about their kids when they are working. I do believe that fathers worry about work when they are with their kids. But let's be real, most fathers don't worry about the logistics of their family life during the work day like mothers do. And, even if they they do on occasion, I'm sure it's not on a regular basis.

My husband disagrees with my assessment. He says men worry about family during the work day -- but more from the perspective of supporting the family and money issues. This may be true, but still I doubt it consumes much of their time during the work day.

Do you agree with either of us? Do you think dads worry about their kids when they are at work?

Fathers weigh in on work/life role models

2008-06-11T09:56:00.011-04:00

The majority of fathers told researchers they would give up pay for work/life balance. So, why don't they just do it? Anchor Cynthia Demos asked me that question on my TV appearance this morning. My answer: fear. A lot of men don't want to rock the boat at work.

I've been thinking a lot about a comment by Rebeldad blogger Brian Reid. He's a proponent of working fathers using the family-friendly policies that exist at their companies: "There's a gulf between corporate policy and what men feel they can take advantage of. Leading by example sounds uninspiring but breaking down traditional roles has an impact."

Reid took paternity leave seven years ago, and believes he was the first at his company to do it. Unfortunately, men still hesitate to do what Reid did. But I do think some men are taking the lead. My Miami Herald article today gives some examples. The article also is posted on MomsMiami.com.

In Miami, senior lawyer Bill Walker, knows his viewpoint isn't popular with his partners at White & Case. Yet, he still tries to get young fathers at his law firm to find new role models. "There are plenty of young dads here until all hours and weekends. They are modeling the money behavior of the guy down the hall instead of other guy down the hall who is not working as hard, maybe not making as much money, but spending more time with his kids."

Walker gave me an honest look at why an Adecco survey found more than half of men think their companies should do more to help with work/life balance. "We interviewed someone yesterday, an experienced lawyer, looking to relocate. For about five minutes we discussed whether coming here allow would allow him to maintain, work/home balance he wants to achieve. I told him I don't know. "

Do you think working fathers are doing enough to be role models for others? Is the fear of using work/life programs justified?

Dads think their company should do more

2008-06-10T19:14:00.002-04:00

The latest Adecco USA Workplace Insights survey commissioned in celebration of Father's Day found that working fathers have a lot in common with working mothers when it comes to managing work/life priorities. "The perception that the work/life balancing act is mainly a female struggle no longer holds up in today's workplace," says Rich Thompson, Vice President of Training & Development for Adecco Group North America.

Adecco's Father Day survey found:
* 81 percent of dads are very likely to work late or respond to emails after hours.
* 64 percent say it's more challenging to manage family life than career.
* 55 percent think companies should do more to help them achieve work/life balance.

Here's another interesting daddy fact: The economy is taking its toll on Father's Day spending. Average per capita spending on dad is expected to drop to $27.60 in 2008 from $28.97 last year, IBISWorld predicted.

Taking vacations increases your value

2008-06-09T09:53:00.003-04:00

Is it possible that taking lots of vacation time can increase the value of your company? Are you one of the people who go through the angst of wanting to take vacation while secretly worried about what you will miss when you are gone --- will work pile up, will clients find other vendors, will the boss discover he doesn't need you?

To be more valued, Norm Brodsky, author of Inc. Magazine's Street Smarts column, insists you take a vacation -- but do it the right way! Here are the mistakes he says people make: Some think they are taking a vacation but they just moved their offices outdoors because they spend most of their vacation doing work. The other groups takes a vacation but really wants a lifestyle change and because they haven't done the planning they end up alienating customers and employees.

He says this is the key: Brodsky timed his vacations to coincide with the periods when business was slow. He says it made him smarter when he returned: "I could see issues and problems with a clarity I hadn't had before." (If you are an employee, you may want to vocalize your new clarity to your boss!)

To me, the most right-on sentence in Brodsky's article is this one: "Though people like to portray themselves as making sacrifices for their business, they aren't, in fact, helping anybody by not taking vacations."

Brodsky came up with the long-term goal of eventually taking off four months every year. "I know a lot of businesspeople my age who would like to be able to do that. The problem is, most haven't laid the groundwork." Brodsky laid the groundwork over seven years. He gradually increased his time away from the business and trained others to do his jobs. The upside: when he was at the company, he could focus on making contributions that would enhance the business, yet he could leave knowing his customers would never notice his absence.

Last year, when Brodsky went to sell a majority stake in his business, the company's ability to run without him increased the value. "I got a better price for my stock in addition to a lot of free time. That's something you might bear in mind the next time you're trying to decide whether to take a vacation."

Meanwhile, this summer a growing number are planning to bring the office with them on vacation, according to CareerBuilder.

Do you plan to take a vacation this summer? Are you planning to work on your vacation? Could you imagine yourself taking as much as four months off?

Dads who cut back work help at home

2008-06-05T11:00:00.003-04:00

I'm enjoying a blog that addresses work life balance from a father's perspective. Check it out. In his latest posting, Blogger s reveals: Dads who cut back on their hours to help at home are not just sitting on their couches watching ESPN's Sportscenter.

The research says: Part-time worker dads do more housework (about an hour more) than full-time worker dads, and about 40 minutes more childcare. We know about these changes thanks to forthcoming work from Liana Sayer (Ohio State University) and Sanjiv Gupta (University of Massachusetts at Amherst) in which they analyzed the 2003-2005 ATUS.

Researchers also discovered that mothers do more paid work—14 hours more—than they did 40 years ago. They do less housework—exactly 14 hours fewer—too. But they do 4 hours more of childcare than in the past. But it looks like those girl gab sessions in Sex & The City are more fictitious than we care to admit: bonding with spouse, kin, and friends is being sacrificed by working moms for time with children, research shows.

-- Council on Contemporary Families, How Americans Use Their Time: Got Data?

Woman CEO uses a plan for work-life balance

2008-06-03T20:20:00.004-04:00

How does a woman lead a law firm during tough economic times, raise a family, mentor other lawyers, participate in professional organizations and have a sound marriage?

Rhea Law, CEO of Fowler White Boggs Banker in Tampa has figured out a system. Every Thanksgiving she and her husband, owner of a telecommunications business, sit down and make a plan for what they want to accomplish. "We take time to be thankful for our blessings then talk about coming year.'' They include everything from non-profit work to house projects to business goals to vacations. She says the plan only works if you write everything down.

"Family and friends can be helpful in causing you to succeed if they know what you are trying to do," Law says. Even if she and her husband don't agree with everything on each other's list, they agree to go with the plan.

The couple set aside time quarterly to go through the list and find things they forgot about. Then, they make a time frame to get those things done instead of harboring resentment. The couple has been using this system for their entire 23-year marriage and included their children in the planning when they were still at home. "It's a basis for communication and managing expectations."

I asked Law if she has achieved work/life balance with her system. She said: "Balance assumes equalness. There is no equalness. I think I have achieved alignment with my family."

Law must be doing something right. Once again, her firm has landed on the list of top women-led businesses in Florida compiled from a survey by The Commonwealth Insitute (TCI). The full article on the survey is in today's Miami Herald. I found it interesting that the majority of women business leader said they have achieved work/life balance. Still, about 38 percent said they spend more time working than they would like to.

Which category do you fall in? Are you spending more time at work than you would like to, or have you found balance? Do you think Law's system for balance could work for you?

End of the school year stuff, too much?

2008-06-02T10:30:00.003-04:00

Holy cow, I'm exhausted! As we get down to the end-of-the-school year the celebrations are coming fast and furious. Can you find time to always be there?

Here's why you might feel swamped: Because of a rising interest in rituals, ceremonies have proliferated, marking nearly every life transition—from preschool to college graduation—and making each the focus of festivities. As a result, families face a long list of must-attends—including rehearsals, class parties, tournaments, recitals, picnics and banquets—all in the few weeks leading up to summer, making this time of year the busiest season of all for many households, notes Sue Shellenbarger of The Wall Street Journal.

Fortunately, I have some flexibility at my job to be able to come in a little late or leave a little early when I have a kid activity. Sadly, many parents do not. But with so many end-of-the-year kid commitments, I keep joking that I’m going to have to quit my day job to keep up.

Still, there are some activities I just haven't been able to be at. Many of us working parents beat ourselves up for not getting to all of these events. It’s especially awful when our kids really want us there, points out mommy blogger Wendy Sachs.

Remember, this is the time to use your goodwill bank -- call in those favors you've done for other parents at work or at school to get some help with the driving. And, if you have to leave early during a child's class party or recital, closely watch the part you do see. If you can't stay for the entire recital make sure you speak to your child about the portion you observed: something like, "I enjoyed watching because you were concentrating so well.''

How are you handling the end-of-year madness? Are you find your workplace gives you the flexibility to attend school activities? If not, are you resentful?

Best Companies for Multicultural Women

2008-05-28T09:41:00.003-04:00

The list is in! Working Mother Magazine released its 100 Best Companies for Multicultural Women. The odd thing is there is not one Florida company on the list. NOT ONE. That strikes me as insane consider our multicultural population and how embracing companies in our area have been.

Here is the criteria: hiring, pay and promotion of multicultural employees. This year, the magazine gave the most weight to questions involving the representation, recruitment and retention of women of color. I'm not sure whether the magazine considered Hispanic representation but I plan to ask the editor.

The report says unlike their Boomer parents, Gen Y's tend to look beyond skin color for their identity, choosing instead to define themselves by age or lifestyle. This shift is causing companies to rethink their diversity strategies so that they resonate with a group that's eager for speedy advancement. Do you agree? Should your company be on the list?

Can you relate to Carrie Bradshaw?

2008-05-27T16:40:00.005-04:00

What are you doing May 30th? That's the big topic at work today because May 30th is the opening date for the Sex & the City movie. Productivity must be sagging in offices nationwide as women discuss when and where they're going to see it on the big screen.

One of my girlfriends who lived for a while as a single woman in NYC is taking the day off work on Friday to see the movie. I may join her. I’m sure we won’t be alone in the theater. All day at my office, the girls are buzzing about getting a group together to go see it.

Why does this foursome inspire so much female camaraderie? Asks blogger Leslie Morgan Steiner. The New York Times reports in This One Goes Out to the Ladies -- and Their Friends that mobs of women across the country have made elaborate opening night plans (including flying en masse to Manhattan to see the movie on location).

I’ve always admired the way the show depicts working women. Indeed, I think Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda embody a bit of all of us. These four women are real to me. I can relate to Miranda’s crazy work life as a law partner, Carrie’s job as a columnist, Charlotte’s struggle with infertility and Samantha’s glamorous and sometimes lonely life as a PR executive. Their struggles with meeting Mr. Right or Mr. Big are shared by so many of my gal pals who tell me that dating today as a self-sufficient, income-producing woman is challenging.

Even though, like most women watching the show, I don't live in New York or wear the same fashions, these women and their career, child-rearing and love-life dilemmas are real to me and most of the women I know. The girls have financial troubles like we do, laugh and cry like we do, fight with each other like we do, and most importantly make mistakes and go on. As Steiner notes, “They make everyday female problems -- working motherhood, infertility, deplorable romantic decisions, too-demanding jobs, wrinkles, mortgages, lousy boyfriends, too many shoes -- look beautiful, funny, and bearable.”

To me, a bonus of the show was the insight men gained from watching it. Women, have you ever had a discussion with a man about his take on Carrie breaking up with Aidan, Miranda giving Steve the cold shoulder or Samantha hooking up with a young hunk? The show certainly sparked some discussion in my house.

What do the Sex & the City ladies say about your life? Are you going to opening night? Would your consider going with your spouse or boyfriend or is this strictly a girls night out?

Is a step parent a working parent?

2008-05-22T12:37:00.006-04:00

I just read a blog entry that takes a perspective I never considered. It asks, "Does being a step parent make you any less of a working parent?"

Blogger Lylah Alphonse writes: Well, when you’re parenting, step or not, you’re a parent. That’s really all there is to it.Unfortunately, I've had bosses and co-workers who didn't understand that at all. As a step mom, it wasn’t that I was expected to work overtime as much as it was that I was expected to want to work overtime, because I wasn’t “really a parent.” “You can stay late tonight, right?” my then-boss once asked as he got ready to duck out early (to go camping). “It’s not like you’re rushing home to see your step kids, right?”
Um… yes, yes I am. So, actually, no, I can’t stay late.

A co-worker of mine married a man with a young child. She's going through all the anxiety a working parent does, especially because her husband travels for work. She frets over being asked to work late which would leave her step son, a middle schooler, home alone too long.

Of course, custody arrangements differ and everyone's situation is different. As Elizabeth in her Career and Kids blog notes: Your schedule may be different from someone else’s if the kids aren’t with you full time, but the responsibilities are still there.

Do you think step parents should be given the same work/life considerations as working parents? Have you ever had a boss who doesn't recognize your home demands as a step parent?

Divorcing your business partner

2008-05-21T09:49:00.002-04:00

In my Miami Herald column today, I wrote about business break ups. The idea came to me when I watched the emotional turmoil one of my close friends went through. My friend felt she was doing most of the work to keep the clothing store afloat, yet her partner was sharing equally in the profits. Her partner happened to be a close friend. Working moms, she assumed they would split the duties and both have work/life balance.

I have never had a business partner, but I've thought about it. And like most people, I likely would go into business with a friend. Until now, I had never thought through what would happen when and if things go bad. My friend and her partner had been gal pals when they started the business together. They had kids the same ages. Their husbands were buddies. So, the break up took a huge emotional toll on both families. They no longer speak to each other.

Attorney Greg Ward of WardKim had some of the best advice on the topic. He says always have a well thought out partnership agreement when you start the business. If it's too late and you find yourself in the middle of a dispute, try HARD to keep communication open. When partners stop talking, that's usually the beginning of the end.

I found an interesting article on the American Bar Association site that says, "Curiously, many business divorces occur once the business has become successful, the principals are taking home real money and there is significant equity in the business. With success come the difficult, acrimonious issues and decisions that the partners failed to face early on or dealt with only partially.'' Who knew?

Have you endured an emotionally wrenching business divorce? Has it affected your personal life? What would you do differently the next time around?

Does a messy desk matter?

2008-05-19T10:49:00.003-04:00

It's Monday morning and I'm at my desk. It's not cluttered but it's not completely clean and organized either. I have worked hard to overcome my natural tendency of allowing piles of paper to cover my desk. I want work/life balance and to me, that means NOT trying to handle too many tasks at once, cluttering my mind and desk.

But I look around me and most of my co-workers can barely see their desks. I wonder how some of them get anything done. So, it intrigued me when I saw a manager's query on the Monster blog. After asking an employee to clean up his desk several times, he wrote: "Is it something I should just let be and assume the employee works better in a controlled chaos environment? Or should I step up my requests and not be so nice about it? I'm not sure how much it is my place to tell someone to clean up their work area if it really doesn't bother anyone but me."

Does a messy desk matter? Monster says people respond in two ways:

As long as the employee’s work is getting done, it doesn’t matter how messy his desk is or isn’t.

A messy desk is no doubt a sign of a cluttered mind! Continue to insist that the employee clean up his workspace.

Most of the highly successful business people I interview buy into the clean desk theory. They say clutterfree desks are critical to being productive and having work/life balance. They only want items on their desk that relate to the task they are doing at that moment. But I do have many colleagues who are organized and on top of all their projects, in spite of their desk’s appearances to the contrary.

I say, each person has their own way of working and living, as long as they get the job done who cares what their desk looks like (as long as it's not bug infested). What's your take? And, when should the line be drawn, if ever?

Below: One mom's entry into a messy desk contest. To read her blog, click here.

What's overtime?

2008-05-15T12:31:00.003-04:00

In today's 24/7 business world, what's overtime?

Is it being on call after hours? Is it being expected to respond to late night emails? Is it getting work thrown at us close to 5 p.m when we can't possibly finish it in our 8-hour day? Already we are hearing discussion about whether BlackBerrys give rise to overtime pay.

Yesterday, this question of overtime came up a few times during the day at an Employment Law Seminar sponsored by Stearns & Weaver in Miami. Clearly, there's a movement afoot to squeeze more out of employees -- without paying them more.

When talking about the top 10 things supervisors do to drive you insane this one made the list: Tell subordinates "I do not want to see you working overtime, but this job better get done tomorrow and you figure out how to do it."

How many of you have heard that? I have my hand up.

For those that still do get overtime, the good news for Florida employees is the law says EVERYTHING has to go into calculating overtime -- wages and commissions and bonuses and referral fees. The bad news for those salaried employees who get overtime is that an employer legally can get away with paying overtime as half-time, not 1 1/2 times hourly rate.

Clearly, most of us want our personal time to stay just that. And you'll hear some say, they put in the overtime hours because they count on the pay. Now, the overtime discussion has me wondering, if pay is eliminated will there be an anti-overtime revolt?

Afraid to speak up?

2008-05-13T11:02:00.002-04:00

Last week, the demands on my time seemed overwhelming. My daughter was sick, my babysitter was sick and I wanted to attend a special training class that would help me at work.

My first thought was to give up the class. But a deep feeling in my gut told me not to miss it. So I juggled, called in reinforcements, and went to the class. I'm so glad I did.

Anyone who speaks in front of groups at work or outside of work should consider Dale Carnegie's High Impact Presentations. My friend Debra Levine, who works for Dale Carnegie, says even if you are Katie Couric in front of a camera or crowd, there's always room to take it up a notch.

About a dozen of us from various companies and professions went to the two-day class and evolved from being okay public speakers to wowing each other with our new-found confidence and skills.

We spent one morning taking a dull speech on Einstein and making it interesting by using gestures and projecting enthusiasm. We took turns sitting on the hot seat, learning how to handle stressful situations during a mock question and answer period. And we practiced moving our audience to action through a three-minute presentation.

Later this week, I'm speaking to a group of female bankers about work/life balance and success strategies. I plan to use my new bag of tricks to get them see me as an expert and read my column in The Miami Herald. I would imagine some of my peers in the class already have used their improved speaking skills in their jobs -- to land a new client, gain the confidence of the boss or convince a group of co-workers to see their viewpoint.

How are your public speaking skills? Do you think it's important to know how to speak up at work? Have you ever invested time in improving your presenting skills? Was it worth it?

Which is harder to manage -- career or family?

2008-05-10T15:39:00.002-04:00

A Mother's Day survey by Adecco asks, "Which is harder to manage career or family?"

Most working moms said managing career is a piece of cake next to managing family: 71% of working mothers find it more difficult to manage their family vs. career (29%).

If I was asked that question, I would have said managing family was more difficult, too. Here's why: Managing our careers takes focused energy. Managing our households takes focused energy. But when managing both at the same time, it's the family part of the equation that's more unpredictable -- a child gets sick, the teacher wants a conference, a science project requires some materials you don't have on hand.

This week, my daughter became very sick. I thought about how much easier it would have been to just focus on her. But I tried to keep up with work and nurse her back to health. The result is I'm exhausted.

Beyond the exhaustion, some working mothers feel frustrated trying to manage their family life. Apparently, their frustration has launched a whole new profession -- parent coaches. A Miami Herald article today on parent coaches said working mothers are turning to these experts when they can't handle the power struggles, arguments and or sibling rivalry. Jodi Mailander Farrell writes: "A 40-something first-time mother may be able to run a company, but when it comes to putting her baby to sleep at night, she may not have a clue."

But I think there's another question to ask working moms, "Which is more rewarding to manage career or family?" My guess you would find the same skew in the results. For most of us, recognition at work could never be as fulfilling as the handmade cards we will get today.

Which do you think is harder to manage career or family? Or is it trying to do both that makes our lives difficult?

Are you getting more forgetful?

2008-05-08T23:07:00.009-04:00

Do you ever hear yourself saying, "How could I have forgotten to do that?"

I'm desperately searching for an explanation why I can't remember things I need to do without writing them down. No more mental lists for me! I've gotten to the point where if I'm driving while someone mentions something that she needs me to do, I pull over or ask the person to call me back so I can write it down.

A co-worker assures me that my memory issues are helpful for raising responsible children. "It teaches them to take responsibility and write it down and not to just assume you are going to remember to do it," she insists.

Not long ago, a USA Today article reported scientific evidence that memory loss is a real issue for new moms. They gave it the name, Momnesia. One mommy blogger writes: I’ve suffered the effects of this illness long before I even knew it existed or had a name. I'm just wondering how long one can be considered a new mom. My youngest is almost seven. Does that rule me out from qualifying for Momnesia?

Another article calls spotty memory a symptom of information overload. There's a theory that information overload causes us to run out of brain space so there's not enough room to remember all those to-dos. Do you believe people can run out of brain space? Do you believe memory loss is caused by trying to balance work and kids? What are your techniques for remembering your to-dos?

Does money follow passion?

2008-05-06T20:05:00.005-04:00

After my recent article on finding your passion, I noticed a timely blog discussion. At issue: Will financial success necessarily come to those who follow their passions?

Marci Alboher who writes Shiftingcareers says: "The short answer, of course, is, “It depends.” If you happen to have a passion for choosing stocks, the money will follow a lot more easily than if you have a knack for writing Shakespearean sonnets. But most of us fall somewhere in the middle of those extremes, and that’s why there are as many answers to the question as there are career paths."

Darren Rowse, of ProBlogger (the authority on just about anything having to do with blogging): “I think it can be true — but what if you love doing something that there is just no economic sense in?”

From J.D. Roth, of Get Rich Slowly (a personal finance blogger who provides solid advice about money while conveying a “money isn’t everything” vibe): “Well, I’m not convinced there’s a strong correlation. I think that financial success can be related to doing what you love, but it’s not always the case. I have friends who love to teach, but they’re never going to get rich at it. I have friends who hate their jobs but make a killing.”

To me, it's about your definition of financial success. If you are passionate about something, you're more likely to figure out a way to make money doing it. You may not get rich but you will make money, and to me, that's success.

Of course, Janet Attwood, author of The Passion Test, would argue yes, money follows passion. Attwood says the most successful people in their professions are those that followed their passion. But I plan to ask her to weigh in.

Meanwhile, let me hear what you think. Does money follow passion?

Work and waste

2008-05-05T08:42:00.003-04:00

I just read an interesting take on work and waste in Fast Company Magazine. The article by David Roberts says American employees put in more hours and take fewer vacations than just about anyone else in the industrialized world. But they way we work and our struggle for balance also may drive our habits of waste.

Because we work so much, we're tired and tend to use more Styrofoam to-go containers. Because we work so much, we're tired and often fall asleep in front of the TV. Because we work so much, we're booting up power hungry electronics at all times of day and night. (Are you feeling guilty yet?) American workers have more than doubled productivity in the past half-century _ but they also have increased the nation's energy consumption and greenhouse-gas emissions.

The article goes on to say, "If we want to accelerate the recent trend of reducing waste, it may be time to consider the radical step of, well, relaxing more, consuming less and living fuller lives."

Relaxing? How many of us know how to do that anymore?

Roberts points out that even "green" businesses don't seem eager to reduce waste by reinventing the workweek or allowing more telecommuting. So, I'm forced to think it may be up to us workers to make proposals and reclaim our leisure time. And, its up to us to looking hard at devoting our leisure hours to activities with low environmental impact rather than driving around guzzling up gas or booting up our electronics. (Not easy habits to break!)

Would your company buy into a shorter work week if it benefited the company and the environment? Would you have the courage to make the proposal? And, would you be able to power down for an entire day on your next day off?

Finding your passion in work and life

2008-05-02T10:59:00.003-04:00

I received a lot of e-mail following my article on finding your passion in life. So I decided to post it on my blog. Click here to read it.

If you are still searching for your passion, I recommend reading Janet Attwood's The Passion Test. She gives some examples of lists of passions to pursue created by real people. The book might spark some ideas for you. Something Janet said rang true with me, the most successful people in their professions are those that have a passion for what they do. Still, 4 out of 5 people feel unfulfilled. Are you pursuing your passion?

Doctors want work/life balance

2008-04-30T10:49:00.004-04:00

Doctors want family lives, too. Last week, I had a conversation with Deborah Mulligan, an emergency room doctor at a children's hospital and single mother of three daughters. We talked about all the young women entering pediatric medicine and their desire to curb their work hours in order to have families. Deborah, a professor by day and ER doctor on nights and weekends, could relate.

A front page story in yesterday’s WSJ tackled the subject as did a blog post. It says that young physicians are challenging the assumption that a doctor should be available to treat patients around the clock. The attitudes are giving rise to different types of practice options -- ranging from small, primary-care facilities to jobs that keep doctors on predictable schedules by using a team-based approach that rotates multiple doctors among patients.

But does their work/life balance come at a price to the public? The piece says such choices are putting an additional strain on America’s health-care system because doctors are eschewing fields with unpredictable hours, such as internal medicine, pediatrics and family medicine.

And, there's the generational issue. Some senior doctors gripe that older physicians must pick up the slack for these young docs, handling trauma and emergency calls. “It really gets on your nerves when you get these young guys coming in and interviewing and they say, ‘I’m not doing this, I’m not doing that,’” says one.

I encountered the clash between generations in the medical profession when speaking about work/life balance to a large pediatric group last year. Most of the older male pediatricians had stay-at-home wives. The concept of balancing work and care giving was foreign to them. And, the industry shift toward family-friendly solutions was not something they were eager to embrace.

I would imagine these issues are playing out in other professions. Today's reality is most families are dual income. Family-friendly solutions to workplace issues are the trend. But look past the generation issue and I think there is an interesting question to ask, will the public pay a price?

Real men take naps

2008-04-29T17:37:00.005-04:00

I'll never forget when I brought my daughter to a bridal shower and it was her turn to write in the advice book for the new bride. She wrote, "make sure your husband gets a nap on the weekends."

You see, my husband works long hours during the week. But every Saturday and Sunday, he absolutely, positively must have an afternoon nap. They are vital to his work/life balance and his personality. No nap and he morphs into a very crabby boy. So I found myself relieved when I read a blog post by Dave Barry that reveals the most significant medical discovery for men since the invention of the electric nose-hair trimmer is that MEN NEED SLEEP.

Absolute chaos can be going on in my house on the weekends and through it all, my husband naps. I can't seem to pull of the same feat. But thanks to Dave, I now know that men produce a hormone that causes them to produce muscle mass when they sleep. I discovered from another article that naps help men fend off stress and heart disease. So I must agree with Dave, real men never miss their afternoon naps -- at least not in my house. Do you nap on your days off?

Madonna sleeps with her BlackBerry

2008-04-28T11:55:00.003-04:00

Margot Winnick, media specialist at University of Miami and a huge fan of the BlackBerry, brought an interesting article to my attention. Margot wants me to know she's not alone in her addiction to her BlackBerry.

Madonna sleeps with her BlackBerry, as does husband Guy Ritchie, she has revealed. The pop superstar made the unusual confession in a new interview, claiming there is nothing 'unromantic' about their dual habit. Speaking as she prepares to release new album 'Hard Candy', Madonna said having the device close by allows her to start work at any moment. 'We lie right next to each other with our BlackBerrys under our pillows. It's not unromantic. It's practical.' 'I'm sure loads of couples have their BlackBerrys in bed with them', she explained to Elle magazine. 'I have to sleep with my BlackBerry because I often wake up in the middle of the night and remember that I've forgotten something, so I jump up and make notes.'

Confession: I keep a notepad by my bed to write down thoughts that occur to me at night -- I guess I'm still in the dark ages. Another confession: I'm considering a BlackBerry.

Are our kids inheriting our stress?

2008-04-27T16:56:00.003-04:00

As a working mom with huge to-do lists, I'm often stressed. And, my kids know it. Sometimes I'll be trying to do a few things at the same time and one of them will say to me, "mom, you looked stressed.'' But after reading an article this weekend, I'm having second thoughts about showing stress in front of my kids.

The article said college kids are so stressed out from everyday worries they are having trouble eating, sleeping and studying. Four in 10 students say they endure stress often and one in five say they feel it all or most of the time. Darker still, one in six have friends who have discussed suicide and one in 10 have considered it themselves.

So what's stressing these students out? Most attribute it to school work and grades, financial problems, relationships and dating, family problems and extracurricular activities. Sadly, college women have a more stressful existence than men, with 45 percent of females and 34 percent of males saying they face frequent stress.

I asked my kids whether they ever feel stressed. Without hesitation they said yes. They told me homework is what stresses them. As a kid, I remember worrying about getting my homework done. But I don't remember feeling "stressed" over it. So, I have to wonder, are kids emulating their parents?

I just started making a point to spend at least ten minutes a day doing something fun for myself ---reading a magazine article, walking around the block, doing a crossword puzzle. Sometimes, I include my kids in the activity, to show them how I unwind. But I wonder which message is stronger. Do you kids are feeling stressed too early in life? Are we doing a good enough job of teaching our children how to cope with stress? Are we doing a good enough job of learning how to deal with our own stress?