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Episode Recap: Amazing Race All Stars (Season 11), Episode 2

2007-02-25T19:04:00.000-08:00

Episode: Beauty Is Sometimes Skin Deep
Original Air Date: February 25, 2007

What made Drew think he could handle this race again? He's in such poor shape, it's amazing he can cross the street without getting hurt, let alone race around the world. During the last episode, not only was he outrun by a little person, the first thing he did upon exiting the cab in Ecuador was to trip on his own feet and nearly dislocate his shoulder. As this episode opens, we find out he spent the night being treated for altitude sickness. The doctors had to administer oxygen to him four times.

Rob and Amber are the first to leave the Pit Stop this morning and find out they must make their way to Chile. Rob tells us the other teams don't know what they're in for with him and Amber, and says, "I don't even want the other teams to be afraid of us. I want them to be preoccupied with us, so they'll be distracted."

It seems Rob is already pretty preoccupied with himself.

Myrna and Charla don't get too far away from the pit stop before getting their SUV stuck in the muddy road. Kentucky couple David and Mary have already expressed their undying admiration for these two, so they stop to help. David jumps out and ties their vehicles together then tows them out. From this point on, the love is flowing both ways as Myrna says that maybe they have a "little alliance". What a good idea. That worked out real well for the teams that allied themselves with David and Mary last season.

Kevin and Drew are the last to leave and also get stuck in the mud. Kevin, who has resigned himself to racing for two people, jumps out, attaches the towing cables, and pulls the SUV out himself. Drew could've gotten out to help, but he probably would've sprained something. He chose to stay behind the wheel instead, and almost managed to drag Drew behind the vehicle when gunning the car out of the rut. He started to drive off, evidently forgetting that Kevin was still attached to the SUV. Poor Kevin had better have his life insurance paid up. Any day with Drew could be his last, unless Drew gets himself killed first.

Rob and Amber and Oswald and Danny are the first teams to arrive at the airport. They are able to score tickets to a flight that is scheduled to arrive in Chile at 1:30am. All of the other teams have to take a flight that is scheduled to arrive an hour later. These two teams get on their plane and leave before some of the teams even make it to the airport.

Kentucky Couple David and Mary have learned a thing or two about traveling during their last race. The first thing they learned is that live bait does not qualify as carryon luggage. But seriously, David and Mary have taken to loading their bags in the overhead compartments at the front of the plane instead of where they are sitting, so as to disembark from the plane more quickly. This is actually pretty smart. I may try that on future flights. However, Drew sees their luggage in the first class compartments and decides it's not enough for him to be a useless blob, he needs to be a jerk too. So he takes the bags and throws them on the floor, saying they "aren't first class". It's surprising that he would pick up other people's luggage - after all, he might pull something. David picks the bags up and puts them back in the same spot. He and Mary are not amused. Drew has earned himself two enemies. Fear the wrath of David and Mary!

Front-running teams Ramber and Danwald (I'm a lazy typist) are pretty cocky about getting such a head start on everyone else. Their enthusiasm is short-lived, however, when they find out during their layover that their connecting flight is delayed. They not only lose their lead, but they end up being the last teams to arrive.

The teams must make their way from the airport to the corporate headquarters of Codelco, then find the boardroom, where they will perform a Roadblock (a task that only one team member may perform). In the boardroom filled with executives, they will find letters of the alphabet in odd places, such as on the sleave cuffs or neckties of the executives. They must unscramble those letters to find the name of their next destination. When they think they've found the answer, they are to write it down and show it to the security guard who is waiting in the lobby. If they answer correctly, he will give them their next clue. Unbeknownst to the racers, the name of their next destination can be found on one of the many pictures hanging in the boardroom. This is probably the most convoluted challenge I've ever seen on this show. For a minute, I thought I was watching Survivor.

Uchenna and Joyce are the first to arrive, followed closely by Eric and Danielle. But these teams are far from being the first to figure this task out. Dustin, or maybe Kandice (can anyone tell the difference between these two?), is the first to finish this task and realize that the unscrambled letters form the name of an insanely hard to spell copper mine. Others follow, but not Joyce or Eric, leaving a very frustrated Uchenna and Danielle out in the lobby.

Charla and Myrna and David and Mary arrive at the same time. The very first thing Mary does, instead of writing down the scattered letters, is to write down all of the names inscribed under the pictures on the wall. This is solving a problem working backwards, which is the second smart thing David or Mary has done this episode. Did these two grow 20 IQ points since last season? She quickly figures out the answer this way and shares it with her buddy Charla.

Kevin and Drew arrive and Kevin volunteers for this task. Of course he does. All of that unscrambling of letters could cause Drew to hurt himself. Why risk it? Kevin figures out the answer basically by copying Mary's work. That's not really his fault, though. Mary blurts the answer out loud to the security guard while Kevin is standing right behind her. Too bad. That smart streak was going so well.

Joyce (who was the first to arrive with husband Uchenna) and Ian are the last two racers left in the boardroom. Joyce finally figures out the answer and tells Ian. During the cab ride to the next airport, Joyce praises her own "attention to detail". Uchenna shows what a wise husband he is and remains silent.

Feel free to ignore everything that has happened up to this point.

All of the teams arrive at the Santiago airport to fly to their next destination and wind up on the same flight. They also arrive at the copper mine at the same time. So basically, the first 40 minutes of this episode don't matter.

Their next task is a Detour (a choice between two tasks). The choices are "By Hand" (screwing lug nuts on to a massive, two-ton tire), or "By Machine" (piling gravel using a front-end loader). Once finished with this challenge, the teams are to drive to the Pit Stop.

Rob and Amber are the first to finish this task and leave for the Pit Stop. Some drama ensues amongst the rest of the teams. Charla runs off to get a step stool so she can reach the lug nuts.

"Charla, I don't have time for a step stool!" Myrna yells.

"I CAN'T REACH IT!!" Charla screams back.

"We're losing time!"

"I CAN'T HELP IT!!"

Surprises of all surprises, Drew isn't doing so well as he tries to tighten some lug nuts. "Unh! This is torture!"

Later, Kevin, who is now working on the tire by himself, asks Drew to inspect his handiwork.

"I don't know, Kev," he says, "I'm taking my medicine."

All of the teams finish and leave for the Pit Stop one-by-one. Charla and Myrna hire a cab driver to lead them to the Pit Stop, and are upset to find the Evil Doublemint Twins Dustin and Kandice following them. The cab driver stops unexpectedly, and so does Charla and Myrna. And so does Dustin and Kandice. It seems the cabbie doesn't want to go any further, so he's going to draw a map for the girls. Charla and Myrna insist the other two split the cabbie's fee with them if they want to see his directions. In the meantime, Teri and Ian pass them on the road. Dustin and Kandice take off since the cabbie is taking too long. Soon, David and Mary pass them too. Out of desperation to leave and not wanting to take time to make change, Myrna pushes her entire fanny pack at the cab driver and tells him to take all of her money and her bottled water, too. She and Charla leave, but they are now in last place.

Rob and Amber make it to the Pit Stop first. As a result, they win two off-road motorbikes. Oh joy. How wonderful for them.

Myrna makes up for lost time by passing three other teams. Mary feels betrayed by this, since she helped Charla during the Roadblock. Maybe she doesn't understand the concept of a race. She and David decide to retaliate and pass the girls. As the teams continue passing each other, it begins to resemble the Shriners driving those little cars in a parade. Meanwhile, Drew refuses to drive faster than what he believes to be the speed limit, which happens to be 10 kilometers slower than the actual speed limit.

Five of the teams make a wrong turn. Dustin and Kandice are the first to realize this and turn around, followed by Teri and Ian. Everyone else eventually turns around and starts heading the right way.

Host Phil Koegan asks Mary how she feels once she and David make it to the mat, close behind Myrna and Charla. He probably expects her to say she's relieved not to be the last team. But she is not a happy camper. She's still mad about the whole passing thing. She tells Phil she's "dissatisfied".

"Why?"

"I'd rather not say," she answers, probably because Charla and Myrna are standing right beside her.

Kevin and the lump of flesh he's been hauling around the whole race finally arrive at the Pit Stop. Kevin runs to the mat while Drew moseys along. He'll get there eventually. What do you want from him?

"Kevin and Drew," Phil says, "you're in last place..."

"That's fine," Drew says and starts to walk off.

Kevin turns around, "Come back here, Drew!"

Mr. Attitude plods back to the mat.

"Be a good sport."

"I am being a good sport!"

"No, you're not."

Phil continues, "I'm sorry to tell you, you've been eliminated..."

"OK, that's fine."

"Drew," Phil says, "can you wait here a minute?"

But Drew needs a hat to keep the sun from damaging the delicate skin on top of his head. He finally returns to the mat after retrieving a bandana from the car and wrapping it around his head. He take this opportunity to tell Phil how he really feels, "My back hurts. I can't breathe. My feet hurt from driving. My voice is going."

Hey, if you can't win, at least you can whine.

Next week - Charla and Myrna clash with yet another team. Danielle freaks out when she has to pick up fish.

Episode Recap: Amazing Race All Stars (Season 11), Episode 1

2007-02-18T17:30:00.000-08:00

Episode: I Told You Less Martinis and More Cardio
Original Air Date: February 18, 2007

It had to happen sooner or later. Welcome to the Obligatory "All Star" Season of The Amazing Race. Every reality show does this sooner or later. Studio and network executives worry because viewers are starting to get burnt out on a particular show. So they look at their "List of Things to Do to Keep People Watching Your Tired Reality Show", and say, "Which of these things haven't we tried yet?":

1 Shocking Twists (i.e. host does not wear necktie some episodes, see The Apprentice)
2 SNAKES!
3 Bring back losers from past seasons and hope that they aren't the reasons viewers are burnt out on your show.

Studio executives could try all of those things, if they apply. Or they could try something completely different like, oh, say, not airing two entire seasons of the show every stinking year! Helloooo!!! Give us a chance to miss the show, for Pete's sake!

But I digess. This season will feature 11 teams from the past 10 seasons. We meet them right away as they arrive by speedboat to meet Phil in Miami (because, as we all know, you can't just drive to Miami).

Kevin and Drew - Friends from Season 1. Both have gotten married since appearing on the show.
Rob and Amber - Season 7. Why? Because they just haven't been on enough reality shows. Seriously, this has become a career for these people. Oh, and in case you didn't know, they got married since the last time they were on the show. Whoopdee-friggin'-doo!
Uchenna and Joyce - This married couple actually won Season 7, but things haven't been going so well for them since. According to Uchenna, "We're growing apart. The fact that we haven't had the child has caused stress."
So they're on the brink of divorce and... what? Maybe they're hoping the stress from being in the race again will push them over the edge?
Dustin and Kandice - Beauty queens/souless ogres from Season 10. "Hate" is a strong word, but I'm not sure what other emotion would cause me to want to shoot my TV at the sight of these two. It's clear that the Evil Barbies still share one brain as they finish each other's sentences and tell us that they're sure the other teams will be "out for blood". Maybe we'll all get lucky this year and these two will be eaten by alligators or something.
Joe and Bill - The original Obligatory Gay Couple from Season 1. Once again, they've named themselves "Team Guido", after their little rat of a dog.
Charla and Mirna - Cousins from Season 8. This is probably my all-time favorite team from The Amazing Race. They proved to be pretty tough competitors in Season 8, in spite of the fact that Charla is only 4 feet tall. They know, like, 20 languages and have been all around the world. Mirna is an attorney who received her doctorate at age 23. Charla is a real estate investor (their Season 8 bio said Charla was a co-owner of a chain of sporting goods stores). They've both gotten married since they last appeared on the show, so maybe Mirna won't be throwing herself at Phil this time.
David and Mary - Yes! Yes! Yes! The redneck Kentucky couple from Season 10. At least we know now this season won't be boring.
Teri and Ian - Married (grand?)parents from Season 3. Ian promises to "kick butt" this season. Hey, watch your language, Ian.
Oswald and Danny - "Best friends" from Season 2. These two had quite a spat a few years ago, and have since made up. "Now we're platonic husband and husband", Danny says. Whatever that means.
John Vito and Jill - Formerly dating couple from Season 3. John Vito is apparently too good to have just one first name like the rest of us. He and Jill have broken up since being on the show, so they're hoping this will bring them back together. Yes, there's nothing like the stress of running a world-wide race while having your every move taped for global television for fixing your relationship.
Eric and Danielle - Dating couple from Season 9. These two were actually on separate teams on Season 9. They met during the race and have been going out ever since.

The teams race to pick up their backpacks and read their instructions (which tell them to go to Ecuador), then run to cars that are waiting for them. Well, I'm not sure what Drew is doing can actually be called "running". Kevin yells back at him to hurry up. He yells back between huffs and puffs that he's "doing the best" he can. Meanwhile, little Charla, and I think a few snails, run past him.

Nine of the teams arrive at Miami International Airport in rapid succession and scramble to find parking spaces. David nearly runs over Charla with his car in the process. There are two flights leaving for Quito, Ecuador - one of them leaves earlier, but arrives almost two hours later at its destination. Most of the teams figure this out and immediately book the flight that will arrive earlier. Kentucky Couple David and Mary, who are not exactly known for being Mensa candidates, book the earlier flight then find out about the other flight. David tells the agent not to book the flight they ask for, but it's too late. They've already been checked in. The Evil Barbies arrive at the same counter just after David and Mary have booked their flight. They ask the rednecks what flight to take and Mary tells them with a very straight face that the earlier flight is the quickest. As Dustin and Kandace get in line, they wonder out loud if maybe Mary was lying to them. They figure out what's what and make their way to the other ticket counter. Unfortunately, the flight is full. Half of the teams are unable to book seats on the flight that arrives first.

Once in Quito, the teams must take a taxi to the Plaza de San Francisco. There they find instructions which direct them to Pim's Restaurant, where they will each take a number corresponding to one of three departure times for the next morning - 7:00 am, 7:15 am, and 7:30 am. Everyone from the first flight except for Teri and Ian get the 7:00 am departure time.

Meanwhile, we are treated to interviews where everyone talks about how excited they are to be racing Rob and Amber. Back at the airport, David and Mary told Rob and Amber how thrilled they were to get to meet them. Amber even tells us, "If we were asked who we're excited to be racing against, we'd say 'noone'. But if you were to ask everyone else, they'd say 'Rob and Amber'."

But John Vito tells us, "I'm getting tired of Rob and Amber, and I think the rest of America is, too."

I'm beginning to like John Vito, even if he does have two first names.

The second flight arrives and Kevin and Drew are the last to make it to the Plaza de San Francisco. Drew, who is about "in shape" as a giant used bean bag, steps out of the taxi and immediately proceeds to hurt himself by falling down and injuring his shoulder. He continues to moan in pain after picking himself off the street and getting back into the cab. He tells Kevin he thinks he may have dislocated his shoulder. These two should just quit now. In fact, maybe Drew shouldn't even have gotten out of bed this morning. Drew's shoulder eventually feels better, just in time for him to notice his knee is bleeding. These two somehow manage to make it to the restaurant ahead of one other team, Eric and Danielle.

The next morning, the teams are instructed to make their way to a national park where they will perform their first Detour (a choice between two tasks). In this case, the choices are either "Wrangle It" (lasso a horse and clip its hooves and tail) or (Recover It) put on an old Ecuadoran army uniform and search a field for three missing pieces of the uniform. Rob and Amber arrive first and choose to do the task with the uniform, only to quit in frustration and switch to the other task. Yet, they still finish well ahead of the other teams and arrive at the pit stop in first place. Phil tells them they have won a ski trip to Canada and a stay in a luxury resort. Well, good. Enough nice things haven't happened to Rob and Amber as a result of being on TV.

Oswald and Danny come in second.

Charla and Mirna arrive at the park, but find themselves at the South Entrance. But the instructions told them to take the North Entrance. Mirna decides it would take too long to back track and take the North Entrance, so she decides to take the South Entrance and look for the location of the Detour task. After stopping to ask directions, they find out they are an hour away from where they want to be.

Drew and Kevin, who are in last place, are still looking for the park. Drew remarks how nice Peru is. Kevin points out they are in Ecuador.

Eventually, Drew and Kevin, David and Mary, and John Vito and Jill enter the park, all behind Charla and Mirna.

David and Mary and Charla and Mirna all arrive the ranch and finish their Detour tasks, making it to the Pit Stop at about the same time, with Charla and Mirna slightly ahead. While on the mat, David gushes about what big fans he and Mary are of Charla and Mirna. I thought he was a big fan of Rob and Kimberly? He sure is fickle.

Drew and Kevin get a flat tire, but Drew says, "I'm not changing a tire," and keeps going. Soon, they're driving on the rim, but Drew isn't slowing down. It's insane, but it pays off. Drew and Kevin finish just ahead of John Vito and Jill and avoid elimination. John Vito and Jill are the first team to be eliminated this season.

Next week - Everyone's afraid of Rob and Amber. Charla gets into it with the Evil Barbies.

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 13 FINALE

2006-12-10T18:21:00.000-08:00

Episode: Say Your Deepest Prayers Ever
Original Air Date: December 10, 2006

It's the final leg of the race and Bickering Couple Rob and Kimberly are the first to leave the Pit Stop. They are told to find a church in Barcelona that has been under construction for 124 years (Haven't we all dealt with contractors like that?). Their next clue will be found in the park that is behind the church (Sagrada Familia). The Alabama Single Moms and the Pretty Boys leave shortly thereafter. Rob and Kimberly find the clue first and find out that they are to fly to Paris and go to the Eiffel Tower. The Alabama Single Moms leave before the Pretty Boys, but because they have only two speeds ("slow" and "slower"), the Pretty Boys beat them to the clue and the airport. One of the Pretty Boys tells us that of the three teams left in the race, "We are definitely the strongest physically. No one should doubt us."

Of course, you can ignore everything that happened in that last paragraph, because once the racers arrive at the airport, they find out that none of the ticket counters open until 4 am. So the six of them camp out in front of the same ticket counter hoping to book tickets on the first flight to Paris. Only Rob and Kimberly are able to book tickets on the earliest flight, however, giving them over an hour head-start over the other teams, who have to book tickets on the next flight.

Pretty Boys Tyler and James are not happy. They get into a heated argument with each other, in their usual Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure style:

"This is totally heinous, dude."

"Dude, this is totally your fault."

"No way, dude."

"Dude! Way!"

"Nuh-uh, dude."

"Dude, I totally told you we should've reserved tickets on the Internet last night."

"Nuh-uh, dude."

"Dude!"

"Dude!"

Remember, no one should doubt them.

Rob and Kimberly do arrive in France well ahead of the other teams, but it's the Alabama Single Moms who make it to the Eiffel Tower first. Though Lyn and Karlyn booked a flight that left the same time as the Pretty Boy's flight, they chose the flight that arrived at Orly, which is much closer to Paris than Charles de Gaulle, the airport where both of the other teams arrived. So the Single Moms find the Eiffel Tower just ahead of Rob and Kimberly. The teams are then directed to take a train to a smaller airport, where they will perform their next Roadblock. The teams all arrive at the train station in time to catch the exact same train, so you can also ignore everything that has happened in this episode up to this point.

The Pretty Boys are the first to find the airport after disembarking from the train, followed by the Single Moms, then Rob and Kimberly. Rob and Kimberly see the Single Moms approaching the clue box, so they make a mad dash for it. Unfortunately, Kimberly can't quite get stopped before reaching the box, and crashes into it, wiping out on her butt. That'll be footage to show the grandkids. The Roadblock (a challenge that only one team member can perform) this time is to tandem sky dive with an instructor on a beach of Normandy. The other team member will get to ride on the plane, which will take a surprise nose-dive just after the skydivers jump. No one left in the race is afraid of heights, so this is one of the most boring Roadblocks to watch this season. But the contestants all seem thrilled to do it. A good time was had by all.

Next the teams must travel back to Paris. All of the teams book tickets on the same train leaving at 5:23. Since that is several minutes away, Rob and Kimberly decide to take a walk over to the post office to exchange their Dollars for Euros. But it just so happens that a train arrives at 5:10 while the Pretty Boys and the Single Moms are standing on the platform. Rob and Kimberly come back to the station to find the other two teams have already left. However, they catch up with the other two teams when it's time to catch the connecting train, once again putting all three teams on the exact same train. So ignore everything up to this point, too.

Once in Paris, the teams are to find a certain town square and search for the next clue. Rob and Kimberly are the first to find the clue, which presents them with a Detour (a choice between two tasks). In this Detour, the choices are between "Art" and "Fashion". In "Art", the teams are to find a gallery and carry a certain piece down the street to an artist who will hand them their next clue. In "Fashion", the teams are to find a design studio where they are to pin together a garment after cutting pieces from fabric and following a pattern. Once they finish their garment, they are to present it to the designer, who will hand them their next clue, if she approves of their handiwork. All of the teams choose "Fashion", which is a smart choice only for the Pretty Boys, who happen to be models.

The Single Moms and Rob and Kimberly pin together their garments well ahead of the Pretty Boys, who are carefully taking their time. Unlike past local participants in The Amazing Race who seem to understand this is just a TV show and therefore are usually somewhat lenient with the racers, this designer seems to think the garments should be ready for the store window once the contestants are done with them. She rejects the two garments over and over again, with a smug wave of her hand and a simple, dismissive, "No." Maybe she's a perfectionist, or maybe she's just a snooty French woman. Either way, she is one tough customer. Lyn calls her the "Fashion Gestapo". Finally, the Pretty Boys are ready to present their garment for the first time. The designer slowly looks it over, then, without so much as a "nice job, guys", hands the boys their clue. France's tourism board should use this woman for their commercials. The other two teams are eventually able to pin their garments together to the mean designer lady's exacting standards and receive their clues.

The teams are next instructed to fly to New York, which is the final city of this race. Rob and Kimberly and the Pretty Boys leave for the international hub Charles de Gaulle Airport, while the Single Moms choose to go back to the closer airport of Orly. Once in Orly, the girls find out that there are no direct flights from there to New York, so they must leave and go to Charles de Gaulle.

During the cab ride to the airport, Rob grouses about how skydiving was the one thing he wanted to do on this race, but Kimberly got to do it instead.

"I thought you were in this to win a million dollars!" Kimberly snaps at him.

"Stop yelling at me!" Rob snaps back.

"I don't want to talk to you anymore," Kimberly says, "I am through with you."

I don't believe that these two are dating. They are obviously already married.

There are two flights leaving for New York the next day. The earlier flight, leaving at 8:25, is fully booked and there is a long waiting list. The Pretty Boys and the Single Moms get on the waiting list for the earlier flight and book tickets for the next flight, which leaves after 9 am. Rob and Kimberly, however, are somehow able to convince the check-in manager to check them in early and guarantee them seats on the 8:25 flight. The next morning, things look grim for the other two teams as Rob and Kimberly board the earlier flight. Suddenly, a ticket agent approaches the Pretty Boys and tells them they may be able to get seats.

As the agent does some final checking on her computer, one of the Pretty Boys says, "Say your deepest prayers ever." Apparently he's assuming God likes them a lot better than the other two teams. Doesn't anyone ever think that maybe The Almighty has more important things to worry about than who wins some silly reality TV show? In any event, the Pretty Boys get seats and are able to board the flight.

The Single Moms are not so fortunate. This is a good thing, because if all three teams got on the same plane, there would be absolutely no reason to tune into the first 45 minutes of this episode. The girls are keeping their chins up, however. As Karlyn puts it, "I starved so much on this race, I ain't even the fat lady, so I ain't singin'."

That should have been the title of this episode, instead of the Pretty Boy quote about prayers.

The Pretty Boys and Rob and Kimberly arrive in New York, where they must find the News Building and locate their next clue. The Pretty Boys find a cabby who knows exactly where that is, while Rob and Kimberly find a cabby who's "not exactly sure" of the location. Rob and Kimberly tell their driver to follow the other cab. The Pretty Boys tell their cabby to try to lose the other one. He tries to pull a fast one by starting to exit the freeway, then suddenly pulling back on. The Bickering Couple's cab keeps behind him, though. It's a different story as the cabs approach toll booths. The Pretty Boys' cabby has an EZ Pass so is able to whiz on through. The other cabby is not so equipped, which puts Rob and Kimberly a few minutes behind.

The Pretty Boys arrive at the News Building first and locate the clue, which tells them to walk over 30 blocks to the East Village and locate a sculpture. The sculpture is called "The Alamo", but the clue only contains a picture of it, and doesn't give a name. Rob and Kimberly arrive, find the clue, and set out to find the sculpture as well. The Pretty Boys are the first to find it and read their next clue, which tells them to convince a cabby to take them all the way to Garrison, New York (over 50 miles away), and find St. Basil Academy, which is the location of the final Pit Stop. They find a cabby who knows where Garrison is, but will have to ask for specific directions along the way. Rob and Kimberly are not far behind and find a cabby who knows exactly where it is.

Along the way, the Pretty Boys' cabby has to stop and ask for directions, but the Bickering Couple's cabby seems to be able to go straight there. A cab pulls up to the Pit Stop. Who is it? Who gets out of the cab? Tension mounts, then... It's the Pretty Boys Tyler and James.

The boys race for the mat, where Phil and most of the other contestants are waiting. Phil tells them they've won the race and a million dollars. He even has a Sprint phone available (have to get one last product placement in there) so the boys can call their families to tell them the good news. How nice for them. It couldn't happen to a couple of bigger idiots.

Rob and Kimberly arrive shortly thereafter and race for the mat, where Rob declares one last time his undying love for Kimberly. Their relationship was never contingent on them winning the money, he informs Phil. It was all about the love... and the yelling.

Later, presumably much later, the Single Moms arrive at the mat. They're just proud to finish the race. I'm just glad it's over.

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 12

2006-12-03T17:02:00.000-08:00

Episode: Dude, I'm Such a Hot Giant Chick Right Now
Original Air Date: December 3, 2006

This episode begins with the teams directed to drive down a treacherous mountain road towards Casablanca, where they'll find their next clue. First the Pretty Boys leave, followed by the Single Moms, then the Bickering Couple, and finally the Doublemint Twins, who must finish this leg at least a half-hour before the last team if they are to avoid elimination.

Rob and Kimberly are already off to a great start. Kimberly is riding in the back of their SUV, observing the mountain scenery. She tells Rob, "I don't like that there's so many dogs around here."

"Those are goats, Babe."

I don't know what it takes to get into the final four in this race, but it sure isn't brains.

Pretty Boys James and Tyler are the first to find the clue, which presents them with a "Roadblock" (a task that only one team member may perform). They are instructed to find a certain market, pick up some camel meat, grind it, take it to specific cafe, have it cooked, then eat it. James and Tyler are the first to complete this task. Their next clue tells them to fly to Barcelona.

They are followed closely by the Doublemint Twins, who easily go straight from last place to second. The Doublemint Twins didn't have the same difficulty as the other teams finding the market. As soon as they arrived in town, they convinced yet another local man to jump in their car and guide them to their destination. This guy even follows them to the market, then the cafe, and watches them eat the camel meat. Then he agrees to ride with them again and guide them to the airport. One thing I've learned from The Amazing Race is that people in other countries have tons of free time.

The Bickering Couple and the Alabama Single Moms are struggling to find the first clue, in spite of seeing both the Pretty Boys and the Doublemint Twins leave the area. Rob decides to adopt the strategy of throwing his hands in the air and yelling, "Can anyone help us?!", as if Moroccans are going to rush to help some crazy white guy yelling in English.

The last two teams finally find the clue, then the market and the cafe, which I believe is called McDumar's ("We do camel your way." "Over 1 million infidels served."). Karlyn calls upon her experience as a mother and is easily able to grind the camel meat, which she then rushes to the cafe. Kimberly, on the other hand, is finding the mechanics of a meat grander difficult to grasp. No wonder she finds it complicated - there are no instructions that say, "1) Push meat down. 2) Turn crank handle."

As soon as Karlyn receives her camel meat hot off the grill, Lyn starts yelling at her to "hurry up and swallow". Karlyn tries to explain to Lyn that she can't swallow food that is still sizzling, but Lyn keeps yelling at her to "just swallow". Evidently, the scalding of Karlyn's mouth and esophagus is a sacrifice Lyn is willing to make. Still, Karlyn finishes ahead of Kimberly, who is gagging her way through her meal.

All four teams eventually make their way to the airport and book tickets to Barcelona. Once again, all of the teams end up on the same flight, making all of the preceding drama completely unnecessary. All four teams then take taxis to their next destination, a huge labyrinth of hedges. Unfortunately, they all arrive after closing time, which means they'll have to wait until the next day. Once again, all preceding drama has been for naught.

The next day, everyone arrives at the labyrinth before it opens, but no one has a cabby who is willing to wait for them to finish. The Doublemint Twins, who speak decent Spanish, ask a nearby construction worker to call for a cab to come so that they'll have a ride waiting for them by the time they leave the labyrinth. Rob and Kimberly think that's a pretty good idea, so they get the guy to call them a cab too. "They're always copying us," one of the Doublemint Twins whines, "every time we do something, they have to do it too."

The labyrinth opens and everyone races to find the clue inside. All of the teams exit around the same time. The Doublemint Twins and the Bickering Couple take their cabs, which are waiting for them. The Pretty Boys and the Alabama Single Moms are left trying to chase down taxis.

The teams' next task is a "Detour" (a choice between two tasks). Their choices this week are "Lug It" or "Lob It". In "Lug It", the racers are to don costumes that look like giant people and march down a specific street until they find a specific female "giant" and receive their next clue. In "Lug It", the racers are supposed to dig their way through a huge mountain of tomatoes until they find a tomato containing their next clue. While they do that, locals will be throwing tomatoes at them. Both of these tasks are related to some Spanish festival that takes place in Barcelona every year. See, this is the kind of stuff people do when they don't have digital cable.

Anyway, the Bickering Couple and the Alabama Single Moms choose "Lob It", while the Pretty Boys and the Doublemint Twins choose "Lug It".

Bickering Couple Rob and Kimberly are the first to arrive at their challenge and are promptly pelted with tomatoes. This immediately distresses Kimberly, who starts screaming at Rob that they should switch to the other task. Meanwhile, the locals are relentless, seeming to enjoy Kimberly's agony a little too much. Rob finally relents to Kimberly's screeching, and the couple agree to switch to the other task. But they change their minds and go back to the tomates once they find out the next task is 20 kilometers away. In spite of all that, they find the clue, which tells them the location of the Pit Stop, before any of the other teams get to start their challenges. Rob and Kimberly are the first to arrive at the Pit Stop, and are rewarded a trip to a resort in Barbados. When Phil asks Rob how he feels about making it to the final three and being closer to the million dollar prize, Rob starts to cry. He talks about how the money would change his life and enable him to start a family with Kimberly. "I love you so much," he sobs to Kimberly.

I'd hate to see how much he would've cried if he had lost.

Meanwhile, the other teams have found their challenges. The Alabama Single Moms, who are still griping at each other, don't seem to mind being attacked by tomato-weilding Spaniards. They just keep digging as one tomato after another bounce off of their heads. They actually find their clue before the the other two teams complete their challenge with the costumes.

Finally, the three remaining teams are racing for the Pit Stop. All of them seem to be in the general area at around the same time (or maybe that's the way it was edited). First the Single Moms arrive on the mat, then the Pretty Boys, then the Doublemint Twins. Phil tells the blondes they've been eliminated. There is some crying, but even combined they don't shed as many tears as weepy Rob.

Next week - the Finale.

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 11

2006-11-26T18:56:00.000-08:00

Episode: We Just Won't Die, Like Roaches
Original Air Date: November 26, 2006

The race is now down to four teams, none of them the least bit likable - Bickering Couple Rob and Kimberly, Pretty Boys Tyler and James, Alabama Single Moms Lyn and Karlyn, and the Doublemint Twins Dustin and Kandice. It's hard to root for any of them, due to a serious deficit in redeemable qualities. Picking a favorite team out of this herd would amount to rooting for the least of four evils. Time may be better spent trying to decide whom to hate the most. My choice - the Doublemint Twins, aka the Evil Barbies.

This week the teams have to fly from Kiev to a certain town in Morocco. The Pretty Boys are the first to leave, followed closely by the Doublemint Twins, who are all smiles as usual. It's bad enough that these two are so evil. Do they have to be happy, too? The Doublemint Twins manage to get an earlier flight out of Kiev than any of the other teams, but they take a big chance, since there will be very little time to connect to their second flight. Sure enough, they miss their first connecting flight, but are able to catch another one leaving shortly thereafter. This turns out to have been a stupid risk to take, since all the teams end up on the exact same final connecting flight from Casablanca.

Once their flight arrives, the teams are to drive to a certain antique shop for their next clue. The Alabama Moms are the first to find the place since earlier they had done something rarely done by any of the teams this season - they used their brains. They bought a map of the area at one of the airports during one of their layovers. Having studied the map, they were familiar enough with the area to find this particular shop. The other teams wind up having to ask for directions. At one point, a mob of local men appear to form around the Doublemint Twins as they stand outside of their vehicle trying to get directions. The girls are freaked out at first since it is the middle of the night, but it turns out the men are harmless. Apparently it's just a mob of men with too much time on their hands. The Doublemint Twins are the last to arrive at the shop.

At the shop, each team is choose one of four good luck amulets, one of which will bring its team good fortune at the Pit Stop. Upon opening the clue, the teams find out that their next destination is Atlas Studios, where movies like The Gladiator were filmed. The teams also find out that a Yield lies ahead. This worries the Doublemint Twins since they are currently in last place.

The Alabama Moms get there first, but it doesn't matter since the studio doesn't open for several hours. Hurry up and wait - that's the theme of this show. All of the teams arrive in time to take a snooze in their vehicles while they wait for the studio to open.

The gates open at 8am the next morning, and all four teams race to the Yield. The Pretty Boys get to the Yield first, but choose not to yield anyone. Rob and Kimberly get there second and likewise choose not to yield anyone. That leaves the two teams who made no secret of their desires to yield each other. This being a foot race, the Alabama Moms don't stand a chance since they run like, well, girls. The Doublemint Twins run like girls as well, but unlike the Alabama Moms, they run like young girls. Thus, the Doublemint Twins beat the Alabama Moms and choose to use the Yield. The Moms have to wait by the Yield sign until the hour glass runs out of sand.

Meanwhile, the rest of the teams arrive at their next challenge, which is a Roadblock (a challenge that only one team member may perform). In this Roadblock, the team member must dress in costume, board a chariot driven by a professional, and grab two flags as their chariot races around the track. The Doublemint Twins finish first. To show her support, Lyn, of the Alabama Moms, flips the Doublemint Twins the finger as she waits by the Yield sign.

"Don't do that," Karlyn says, "That's ugly."

"Sorry."

Rob and Kimberly leave about the same time as the Doublemint Twins. Rob asks the girls if they want to work together to find their next destination, which is a certain cafe. Rob tells us that, "The Blondes are not to be trusted. But we use them at times."

Doesn't that mean that Rob and Kimberly aren't to be trusted either?

The Alabama Moms finally finish the challenge and all four teams are on the road. Rob and Kimberly, who have somehow managed to choose a defective vehicle on almost every single leg of the race, maintain their streak when their SUV gets a flat tire. Confirming their evil status to the world, the Doublemint Twins could not be happier about the flat tire and don't even try to hide their maniacal glee. In fact, they are the ones who point out to Rob that he has a flat tire, smiling the whole time they tell him. Rob pulls over and unbolts the spare tire but gets frustrated because he can't pull out the jack. I'm not sure, but it looks like his trouble may be that he's trying to pull out the rear shock, not the jack (I might be wrong about that, but that's what it looked like he was pulling when I paused this scene on my DVR). Eventually, they are able to flag down someone to help them.

As a result of Rob and Kimberly's misfortune, the Doublemint Twins take the lead. The Pretty Boys soon catch up, however, and both teams arrive at the cafe around the same time. Upon arriving, they find that their next task is a Detour, which is a choice between two tasks. The choice this time is between "Throw It" (making two vases on a spinning wheel), or "Grind It" (grinding then bagging several pounds of olives in a giant grinding mill). All four teams end up choosing Grind It. The Pretty Boys actually started out towards the site for the "Throw It" challenge first, but changed their minds once one them figured out the challenge was to make the vases, not literally to throw them.

The Doublemint Twins once again start out in the lead, but end up driving way past their destination before they realize they have to turn around. In the mean time, the rest of the teams arrive at the farm and start grinding olives. This is a problem for the Doublemint Twins, since there are only three grinding mills. They have to wait until one of the other teams finishes.

The Pretty Boys finish first and head to the Pit Stop, which is near Marrakesh. The Alabama Moms finish not long after them. The Pretty Boys arrive at the Pit Stop area, jump out of their vehicle and start running down the long desert road towards Phil. They are almost at the mat when they remember they left their good luck charm in the car (they are supposed to have it with them when they get to the Pit Stop). The Alabama Moms arrive as the boys are running back to their vehicle, and start running down the road before the boys even get back to their car. But, once again, the Moms are running like, well, girls. The Pretty Boys are able to get back to their car, retrieve the good luck charm, and easily pass the Alabama Moms on the way to the mat. Because their good luck charm matches that of the local greeter, the boys win a couple of Sprint Treos.

It's down to the Bickering Couple and the Doublemint Twins for last place and possible elimination. Both teams seem to be having trouble finding Marrakesh. Of course, Rob's and Kimberly's trouble might have to do with Kimberly mispronouncing "Marrakesh" whenever she asks directions, "Can you tell me how to get to MoROCKish?"

But inspite of Kimberly's geographic illiteracy, she and Rob beat the Doublemint Twins to the Pit Stop. The girls finally arrive and find out that they are in last place. But, Phil tells them, this is a non-elimination round! They're saved from elimination! Didn't Phil say earlier in the race that there would only be two elimination rounds this season?

Next week - Karlyn gets on Lyn's nerves, locals throw tomatoes at Rob and Kimberly.

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 10

2006-11-19T18:09:00.000-08:00

Episode: Lookin' Like a Blue-Haired Lady on a Sunday Drive
Original Air Date: November 19, 2006

As we left the racers last time, Pretty Boys Tyler and James had just repelled down the side of the Olympic Stadium in Helsinki, thinking they were about to win another leg of the race. Once they reach the bottom they receive their clue only to find out they are just half-way through this leg of the race.

I think the clue said something like "Psych! Ha ha, you losers!"

Or maybe it was more like, "Keep racing!"

Six of one, half-dozen of another.

The clue also tells the racers to fly to the capital city of the country where Chernobyl is located. The racers are supposed to figure out that the name of that country is Ukraine and the capital city is Kiev. It turns out that task is as simple as asking a ticketing agent, which is a good thing for the Doublemint Twins, Dustin and Kandice. One of them admits that the only thing she knows about Chernobyl is that it's "where the atom bomb went off".

Now would be a good time to rewind a little bit and relate some of the highlights of the teams repelling down the tower. The teams are basically supposed to walk down the side of the wall, but one of the Doublemint Twins slips and slaps the wall with her butt. It looks painful. Poor Erwin and Godwin. They're both incredibly afraid of heights. It doesn't make the experience any more pleasant for them when Erwin flips around and starts repelling with his head instead of his feet. Seriously, his helmet can be heard scraping the wall the entire way down. Several of the racers start praying, like God is going to waste his time helping someone who purposely does something crazy. "Well, I think I'll help those starving orphan children... Oh, wait! Kimberly is walking down a skyscraper face first! I better help her out!"

All of the teams make their way to the airport, with the Doublemint Twins and the Pretty Boys arriving first. They are the only two teams to make a flight which leaves at 8:25 the next morning, connects through Warsaw, and arrives at 1:35 pm. The other teams must take a flight that leaves an hour later, connects through Vienna, but arrives at exactly the same time.

At least, it's supposed to arrive at the same time. The flight connecting through Vienna ends up being delayed by a half-hour, giving the Doublemint Twins and the Pretty Boys a lead over the other teams.

Once in Kiev, the teams are to drive a marked car to a tank driving school for their next challenge. The Doublemint Twins do the smart thing and hire a taxi driver to lead them there. The Pretty Boys see this and offer to split the fee with the girls if they can follow. A little later, Rob and Kimberly arrive in Kiev and also hire a cab driver to lead them to the tank school.

Brainiacs Erwin and Godwin and Single Moms from Alabama Lyn and Karlyn are last to leave the airport (big surprise). The Brainiacs see Rob and Kimberly hire the cab driver, but decide instead to get a map and some directions and find the place themselves. Since the Single Moms don't have a map, they decide to follow the Brainac Cho Brothers. This plan turns out about as well as expected. It's not long before Erwin is lost and makes Godwin pull over so they can ask for directions. No wonder these two teams are always in last place!

... And that was all before the first commercial break.

The Doublemint Twins and the Pretty Boys arrive at the tank school and find they have a Roadblock (a task that only one team member may perform). For this Roadblock, they actually get to drive the tank through a muddy obstacle course! As if that weren't cool enough, explosions are going off all through the obstacle course, very close to the tanks. This is maybe the most awesome any racer has ever gotten to do on this show. They are so fortunate. Darn them!

At first, James pulls ahead of Dustin and her tank, but starts to stall out his tank at one point. Tyler, watching on the sidelines with Kandice, is embarrassed at James "driving like a girl". It doesn't make Tyler feel any better when James crashes his tank into Kandice's tank.

Once they finish this challenge, they find out they are to drive back to Kiev and find a specific apartment in a specific apartment building, where they will be handed their next clue. The Pretty Boys decide to follow the Doublemint Twins again, but stop briefly to point Rob and Kimberly (who have just arrived near the tank school) in the right direction.

One of the Doublemint Twins ask the other why the Pretty Boys would do that. "Because they're friends with them," the other answers.

"We don't have any friends," the first Twin says.

What a shock.

Rob and Kimberly arrive at the tank school and wisely ask the taxi driver they were following to stay so he can lead them back. The first two teams neglected to do this. Kimberly hops into the tank and finishes the course. Rob tells us that Kimberly is "superhuman" and that she "can do anything". These two aren't so bad. They just need to stop griping at each other. I think I might take them off the "Evil Racers" list.

Meanwhile, the Brainiacs have managed to get lost a second time, but somehow find their way to the tank school. Erwin finishes well ahead of Lyn (who admits she was "lookin' like a blue-haired lady on a Sunday drive"), but the Brainiacs inexplicably decide to wait for the Single Moms before leaving for Kiev. Even the Single Moms don't know why the guys waited for them.

The Doublemint Twins and the Pretty Boys are well on their way to Kiev when the girls try to lose the boys by running a red light. Undaunted, the boys run the red light too. In the mean time, the car Rob and Kimberly are driving breaks down. Another car is eventually provided for them, but the clutch keeps sticking. Do The Amazing Race producers look for cars with mechanical defects, or what?

This little delay would usually knock a team down to last place. But fortunately for Rob and Kimberly, they're being followed by the Single Moms and the Brainiacs, who feel compelled to stop and ask for directions every five minutes. Evidently, Erwin and Godwin couldn't find their way out of a paper bag, even if it were open at both ends and someone was pointing them in the right direction. The girls get fed up and leave the boys, causing the Cho Brothers to feel betrayed. It's hard to feel sorry for these guys, even though they've been loyal to their alliance since the beginning. But there's a line where being loyal turns into being a sap. The boys crossed that line about three episodes ago.

The Doublemint Twins and the Pretty Boys arrive in Kiev and discover their next task is a Detour (a choice between two tasks). The choices for this detour are "Make the Music" and "Find the Music". In "Make the Music", the teams are to find a dance club, compose a rap containing the names of all the countries they've visited, and perform that rap in front of the crowd in the club. In "Find the Music", the teams are to find the local music conservatory and search through several stacks of sheet music to find a specific piece. The Doublemint Twins choose "Make the Music", while the Pretty Boys choose "Find the Music". Rob and Kimberly arrive in Kiev and choose "Make the Music".

The Doublemint Twins arrive at the club and compose what has to be the Whitest rap in history. You can always tell a rap has been composed by a un-hip person when it begins, "My name is [insert name], and I'm here to say..."

The Pretty Boys finish their challenge at about the same time. Both teams head towards the Pit Stop, which is located at a Ukrainian war memorial. Tyler and James are the first to arrive and win a trip to a resort in Mexico where they will get to swim with dolphins. Poor dolphins.

Rob and Kimberly have convinced a young couple to guide them all around Kiev. This couple even waits for them outside of the club. Kimberly has done an uncharacteristically smart thing and composed her rap in the car on the way to the club. Her rap doesn't sound too bad, either. Once they are done performing they run out of the club, where their newly acquired friends tell them they'll be happy to guide them to the war memorial, too. Try to find two Americans who will do that for somebody they don't know. In fact, try to find two Americans with enough free time to do that.

In the mean time, the Brainiacs spot the Single Moms and decide to follow them. They get to the apartment building at about the same time and receive their clues. The Brainiacs choose "Find the Music", while the Single Moms choose "Make the Music". Like Kimberly, Karlyn also composes her rap during the ride to the club (Where did these people find all of this common sense all of the sudden?). The Single Moms are ready to perform as soon as they get to the club. I give them a C- for the rap, but an A for Spunk and Attitude while on stage.

Both of the last place teams finish and head for the Pit Stop. Erwin is about ready to stop for directions again when he and Godwin are pulled over by the cops. It turns out Godwin unknowingly turned down a closed street. Not satisfied with letting the boys turn around, the cop makes them get out of the car and show him all of their documents. As a result, they don't reach the Pit Stop until after dark. Erwin and Godwin are eliminated.

Next week - A chariot ride for the Pretty Boys becomes out of control, a Yield comes into play.

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 9

2006-11-12T17:19:00.000-08:00

Episode: Being Polite Sucks Sometimes
Original Air Date: November 12, 2006

Tonight was the first episode without Kentucky couple David and Mary, so this season is bound to be less entertaining from this point. What's more, three of the five teams left are all jerks. Spending a day with the Doublemint Twins Dustin and Kandice, Bickering Dating Couple Rob and Kimberly, or the Pretty Boys James and Tyler would probably be only slightly more fun than, say, dinnertime with the convicts at the local supermax prison. Of the two likable teams that are left, Single Moms Lyn and Karlyn have a chance of winning this race, as long as a bus hits all four of the other teams. Even then, it's iffy. That leaves the Brainiac Brothers Erwin and Godwin as the only team worth rooting for. Unfortunately, the three unlikable teams are all in the lead as tonight's episode begins.

This week, the teams are to make their way from Madagascar to Helsinki, Finland, where they are to find a specific coffee shop and log into a marked computer to read some special email. Tickets are provided for all of the teams this time, but they are under no obligation to use them, which is good since that specific flight doesn't leave until 9:30 that evening.

The teams all squeeze into very tiny taxi cabs to get to the airport. It kind of looks like when the clowns get into their little car at the circus. Tyler and James look especially uncomfortable.

On the way to the airport, one of the Doublemint Twins (does it really matter which one?) asks, "Finland - don't they all wear wooden shoes?"

Finland, Holland, they're all the same. I must applaud her for at least hitting the right continent. At the ticket counter, they're not much more impressive. Even though the agent speaks fluent English, the girls still feel the need to once again whip out their world atlas and point to it, "We need to get here, Finland."

Maybe they would have a better time if they'd stop pronouncing Helsinki, "Heslinki". Still, they and all the rest of the teams are able to book seats on the same flight leaving at 5:00 am. All the teams, that is, except for the Single Moms from Alabama who are in last place. They arrive at 4:50 am and are told by the ticket agent that Check In is closed. But the Single Moms press the matter and are able to squeeze in on the flight. So, once again, all the teams start out evenly.

The teams arrive in Finland and one-by-one find the cafe. They log into their AOL accounts (can you say, "product placement" boys and girls?) and are surprised to find they've received video messages from their families. Shockingly, there are actual family members who are willing to claim Dustin, Kandice, Tyler, and James. The Single Moms, who seem to be the only remaining contestants who have children, break down in tears when they see the messages from their kids.

The next clue is given to the contestants by the owner of the cafe. They are to proceed by train to another city, then take a cab to another location where they will follow a marked path to find their next clue. All of the teams manage to catch the same train.

Pretty Boy Tyler takes advantage of the long train-ride to do some much needed face moisturizing. "Moisurizing is important," he announces, "It's a way to say, 'I like my face.'"

Dustin or Kandice (I swear I can't tell them apart), who is laughing at Tyler in the background, tells us that she goes to Tyler when she needs nail clippers or hair conditioner.

The train arrives at its destination and the teams rush to catch cabs. While the Doublemint Twins and the Pretty Boys find two cabs that happen to be waiting right outside the depot, the other teams discover another location where there is already a long line of people waiting for taxis. Rob and Kimberly are decent enough to ask the person at the front of the line to let them cut, but later the Single Moms cut right in front of everyone, completely disregarding the poor guy at the front of line who politely tries to tell them there is a line. They push in front of him and take his cab.

That now leaves the Brainac Cho Brothers as the only non-jerks in the race. Unfortunately, nice guys have finished last at this point as they've discovered they are the last to get a cab as a result of being polite. "Being polite sucks sometimes," Godwin observes.

The Doublemint Twins and the Pretty Boys are the first to arrive at the destination and find that their next task is a Detour (a choice between two tasks). This time, they can choose between "Swamp This" (walking on cross-country skis over a kilometer in the mud), or "Swamp That" (traversing an obstacle course in mud that appears to be chest-deep at some points). The Doublemint Twins choose the skis while the Pretty Boys choose the obstacle course.

The Pretty Boys are the first to finish. Getting to watch these hosers slosh and crawl through mud makes this definitely one of the most entertaining challenges so far this season. At one point in the obstacle course one contestant is supposed to carry the other. Tyler jumps on James' back, smacks his butt, and yells, "Giddyup!". These must be two of the gayest straight guys on the planet.

After finishing this challenge, the teams are to travel by train over 100 miles to another city. They will then drive themselves over 70 miles to yet another city where they are to look for a limestone mine where they are to descend and find their next clue. The Pretty Boys and the Doublemint Twins are the first to arrive at the train station and manage to get seats on a train that leaves just minutes after they arrive. Rob and Kimberly get to the station just shortly thereafter, buy tickets for the same train, but get to the platform just in time to watch the train leave.

The Pretty Boys are the first to reach the mine. Once there, they must ride a tram down into the mine and find the clue box. This time, they have a Roadblock(a task that only one team member may perform) to complete. This Roadblock consists of riding a miner's bike down a dark, steeply inclined tunnel to the next clue box, strapping a chunk of limestone to the bike, then getting the bike and the limestone back up to the top of the incline. Once at the top, the contestant must use a hammer and chisel (called a "pokey thing" by the Doublemint Twins) to break open the chunk of limestone and find a tube containing their next clue. The Pretty Boys are the first to finish, followed by the Doublemint Twins. They must now drive to the Olympic Stadium in Helsinki.

Rob and Kimberly are initially ahead of the Single Moms and the Brainiac Brothers en route to the mine. But once at the mine site, they have trouble finding the correct building. Rob actually appears to start to drive into the mine itself. The Single Moms and the Brainiac Brothers are able to catch the tram at the same time, while Rob and Kimberly are still looking for the right building. Still, all the teams finish close enough to catch the same tram going back up to the mine entrance.

Meanwhile, the Pretty Boys arrive at the Olympic Stadium way ahead of the Doublemint Twins, who get lost on the way. Tyler and James take what appears to be a long time to find The Amazing Race flag once in the stadium, but still manage to start their next task well before the Doublemint Twins arrive. Their next task is to reach the top of the 230 ft tower in the Olympic Stadium and rappel down face first. As he walks down the side of the tower, Tyler looks like Batman and Robin on the old Batman TV show when they would scale buildings using their "Bat ropes". Meanwhile, the Doublemint Twins arrive and find the clue that tells them to go to the top of the tower. The other three teams arrive a little later. The Brainiac Brothers find the clue and tell the Single Moms where it is. Rob and Kimberly are left scampering around in a panic looking for it.

The Pretty Boys finish the task and receive their next clue. It says, "Keep racing!". This leg of the race is not over.

Next week - The teams ride tanks, the Six Pack alliance gets dissolved.

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 8

2006-11-05T18:10:00.000-08:00

Episode: He Can't Swim But He Can Eat Cow Lips!
Original Air Date: November 5, 2006

It's 3am in Mauritius and the Doublemint Twins, Dustin and Kandice, are the first to leave the Pit Stop since they won the last leg of the race. Their next task is to drive to the airport and catch a flight to Madagascar. But wait! The girls' car looks all ugly now since they wrecked it the day before. No problem! They decide just to take one of the other teams' cars. An actual human being would feel guilt at this point, but not the Doublemint Twins.

"That's what you get for showing up at the Pit Stop last!" one of them giggles.

Apparently, their cosmetic surgeons drained them of their humanity to make room for the silicon, collagen, and Botox.

Rob and Kimberly and the Pretty Boys Tyler and James are the second and third teams to leave, and have formed an alliance. "We weren't looking to make an alliance," James says, "The Six Pack forced us to form an alliance."

Yeah, like the Kentucky Couple is such a threat to them. Those two couldn't cross the street without help, let alone win a race around the world. The other two teams in the Six Pack alliance (the Single Moms from Alabama, and the Brainac Cho Brothers) aren't much better.

Speaking of the Six Pack, the Brainiacs wait for the Single Moms and the Kentucky Couple before leaving. But the Single Moms decide to take a different route to the airport. On the way, Mary from Kentucky tells us that everything she knows about Madagascar she learned from the "cartoon with the animals". I wonder if she thinks the animals in Madagascar really talk.

Once again, all the teams rush frantically to the airport only to find themselves all on the same flight. Once on the plane, Kentucky Couple David and Mary argue about who gets to sit by the window.

"I never get to sit by the window," David says, "It's my turn!"

I will really, really, miss these two once their eliminated.

The teams arrive in Madagascar and run to catch cabs to their next destination - a statue called "The Black Angel", which, unbeknownst to the racers, has recently been painted white. The Kentucky Couple is the first team to catch a cab, followed by the other two teams in their alliance.

During the cab ride, Kimberly notices the local pollution problem. "Breathing in exhaust is really bad for you, right?" she asks her boyfriend Rob.

"Yeah"

"So how do these people like..."

"Babe, they die a lot younger than we do. That's what happens. Most of them don't get enough protein, so their brains don't develop as much. The brain needs protein."

With that kind of knowledge, Rob should get a job as a Social Studies teacher.

All three teams in the Six Pack alliance lose their lead as their cabbies get lost en route to the Black Angel. The other teams arrive at about the same time and discover a new type of task for The Amazing Race, called an "Intersection". When a team comes upon an Intersection, it must combine forces with one of the other teams in the race and perform all tasks and make all decisions with that other team until further notice. If a team arrives at the intersection and no other team is there at the moment, they must wait until the next team arrives. In this instance, the Bickering Couple Rob and Kimberly and the Pretty Boys are the first two teams to arrive. Since they don't trust the Doublemint Twins and have already formed an alliance together anyway, they decide to join forces. The Doublemint Twins, on the other hand, have to wait for the Six Pack to arrive.

The Bickering Couple and the Pretty Boys open their envelope and discover that a Fast Forward is available. A "Fast Forward" is a task that allows the first team (in this case teams) who accomplishes it to go straight to the Pit Stop without performing any other tasks.

"You know," Kimberly says, "we could do the Fast Forward and take the easy win here, but David and Mary from Kentucky need this much more than we do. We should let them have it."

"You're right," James replies, "they've played much more honorably than we have. They deserve it more than we do."

Rob hugs Kimberly. "I'm so proud of you, Honey," he gushes, "What a selfless gesture. Once again, you are the Voice of Reason."

Yeah, right.

In reality, the two teams decide right away to perform the Fast Forward. In this instance, the Fast Forward entails finding a certain stand in a meat market, then eating a plate of cow lips. This is even more disgusting than it sounds. When the teams arrive at the stand, they find that the lips still have hair and even some teeth attached. Rob and Kimberly have to hold their noses to keep from tossing their cookies.

Meanwhile, the Kentucky Couple and the Single Moms arrive at the Intersection. The Doublemint Twins know exactly how loved they are by these two teams and don't even bother trying to partner with either of them. The Brainiacs are the last to arrive and find they have no choice but to partner with the Doublemint Twins.

The racers find themselves presented with a Detour (a choice between two tasks). They can either choose "Long Sleep", which involves assembling eight foam mattresses, then delivering them to a specific address, or they can choose "Short Letter", which involves hand-producing then decorating 28 sheets of hand-crafted paper. All of the teams choose "Long Sleep".

Kentucky Mary once again displays her complete absense of good judgement and objects to this choice. She believes her teams should've chosen the Fast Forward, even though the first two teams have already gone there and are way ahead. This discussion delays their departure for their task, giving the Doublemint Twins and the Brainiacs the chance to pull ahead.

The Brainiacs and Doublemint Twins work together efficiently and assemble the mattresses quickly. They find someone to lead them to the delivery address and leave.

In the meantime, the Kentucky Couple and Single Moms are doing their impersonations of The Three Stooges. After bickering their way through assembling the mattresses, they fall all over each other trying to figure out how to carry them. They finally come up with the bright idea of using their fanny packs to bind together all eight mattresses. This doesn't make the job any easier, but it does make it funnier to watch. Even though all four of them are helping to carry the mattresses, none of them can see where they are going on this busy crowded street and wind up steering the mattresses into passing cars and almost knocking a rider off of his motorcycle. Unable to control a stack of eight mattresses, they wind up having to set their load down several times. As the streets get narrower, they have to break their bundle up into fewer mattresses. But instead of breaking it down into two loads of mattresses, they decide that they will each individually carry two mattresses apiece. Eventually, all four racers start yelling at each other.

"Come on, Mary!"

"Wait, Karlyn!"

"Dave, come help Mary! Don't just stand right there!"

The other two teams find the delivery address, finish the task, and discover that they are now no longer bound together and can seperate. They leave in seperate taxis for their next task. The Brainiacs' taxi runs out of gas on the way and ends up being pushed by some of the locals.

Meanwhile, Bickering Couple Rob and Kimberly and the Pretty Boys are still struggling with the cow lips. Rob, Kimberly, and Tyler are fighting nausea between bites (Kimberly loses that fight more than once), but James is just chowing down like he's working on a box of McNuggets.

"Dude, he's chewing!" Tyler points out, "He can't swim, but he can eat cow lips!"

The Doublemint Twins arrive to find their clue for the next task, which is a "Roadblock" (a task that only one team member can perform). In this instance, the Roadblock has one of them searching through town for four seperate vendors who sell rubber stamps. That team member must find the rubber stamps that match each of the four stamps found on the written instructions. The other team member must go straight to the Pit Stop and wait for his/her companion to arrive. Dustin takes this challenge while Kandice goes to the Pit Stop.

The Brainiacs' taxi finally has gas and they arrive to see Dustin searching for the stamps. It takes them a while to find the clue. Godwin takes the challenge and Erwin heads to the Pit Stop. Dustin, who has a lead on Godwin, finishes first and heads towards the Pit Stop. At this point, the Kentucky Couple and the Single Moms are just now finishing the mattress challenge and have to go back to where they put the mattresses together, since they chose to leave their backpacks there. I don't think you'll see any of these four contestants on Jeopardy any time soon.

Erwin finds his fourth stamp and heads towards the Pit Stop around the same time the teams eating the cow lips finish and also head to the Pit Stop. It looks like an easy win for the Doublemint Twins when suddenly Dustin's cabby stops for gas. Unbelievably, Godwin's cab also has to stop for gas.

Dustin reaches the cathedral first and the Doublemint Twins win a trip to Hawaii. They excitedly hug Phil in a fit of gratitude. Phil looks a little frightened. Tyler and James, then Rob and Kimberly, then Erwin and Godwin are the next to finish this leg of the race.

It has come down to the Kentucky Couple and the Single Moms. One of them will be eliminated. Even so, Mary is determined not to 'change who she is' and helps Lyn find one of the stamp vendors. Mary finishes well ahead of Lyn and steps on to the mat in front of Phil with her husband David. But Phil reminds them that they are under a 30 minute penalty since they were last on the previous leg of the race. The only way they can avoid elimination is if Lyn arrives over 30 minutes after Mary. Lyn finishes the challenges and finds a taxi. Incredibly, her taxi also has to stop for gas. Lyn still manages to arrive within the 30 minute window. Kentucky Couple David and Mary are eliminated.

The two teams hug and express their feelings of friendship for one another. David and Mary reflect on the race. Mary said the race has made her appreciate that she doesn't "have to be stuck in one place, that I need to get out and take my kids to see the world... I want my kids to... experience life."

Take it from someone who's grown up in the sticks, that is a lesson most rednecks live their whole lives without learning. Good for David and Mary.

Next week - Single Moms Lyn and Karlyn receive a message from home, lots of rolling around in the mud.

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 7

2006-10-29T17:57:00.000-08:00

Episode: I Wonder If This Is Going to Make My Fingers Pickle
Original Air Date: October 29, 2006

"Booketing" - our word of the day. Kentucky Couple David and Mary, due to either dumb luck or maneuvering by the producers, are in first place at the beginning of this leg of the race. Their first assignment is to fly to Mauritius, an island nation off the coast of Africa that apparently none of the teams can pronounce correctly. Once at the airport, David says authoritatively, "We need to find Booketing."

Not wanting to pass up an opportunity to ridicule these two, yet at the same time not wanting to look stupid myself, I looked up the word "booketing" on Dictionary.com. There were no results. Then I Googled it. Besides asking me helpfully, "Did you mean booking?", Google displayed only three results - two in Romanian and one in Russian. Then I remembered my trusty copy of Merriem-Webster Hillbilly to English Pocket Dictionary. It had this entry:

"book‧et‧ing [bk' et ing] - n. that there place in one of them there airports what you buy your tickets at"

Now you know.

David and Mary booket a flight to Mauritius from Kuwait via London. They should arrive in Mauritius after 6am the next day. Because the flight doesn't leave until after 8am, the other teams all have plenty of time to booket seats on the same plane. Once the Doublemint Twins reach the Booketing Counter, they are told by the Booketing Agent about the connecting flight in London.

"What country is that in?" the girls ask. Then, they have the nerve to say that the guys behind the counter are "not the brightest bulbs."

I guess they should know.

The Single Moms from Alabama end up in line at the counter right behind the Doublemint Twins. Some time thereafter, the Pretty Boys show up. Wanting to stick it to the Single Moms, one of the Doublemint Twins tells the agent that the Pretty Boys are with her and she wants to book tickets for them. Because this moves the Pretty Boys ahead of them in line, Single Mom Karlyn is not happy, and gets in the faces of both the Doublemint Twins and the Pretty Boys. She even gets on to the poor Booketing Agent. A big argument erupts. For crying out loud, people, you're all going to be on the same plane.

Once at Mauritius, the teams are to find a boat named "Isla Mauritius" and swim out to it to get there next set of instructions. Mary admits to some trepidation about swimming out to a boat because she's afraid of fish. That's right, fish. She shouldn't worry, though. Once the fish catch sight of her in her swimsuit, they will be much more afraid of her than she is of them.

To get to the port, the teams will need to drive cars that have been provided for them. At this point the Kentucky Couple/Single Moms/Brainiacs alliance (now calling themselves "The Six Pack") is tighter than ever. In fact, in the airport parking lot on the way to their car, Mary tells Dave that they have to wait for the rest of the Six Pack before they can leave, which makes no sense at all. However the Single Moms have already left, reasoning that 'at least one of [the Six Pack] teams should be in the lead' and that 'there's no sense in all three teams being behind everyone else.' How noble.

All of the teams arrive at the port at about the same time, except for the Pretty Boys, who get lost on the way and arrive just as the last two teams are swimming back from the boat. The Brainiacs are the first of the Six Pack to make it back to shore, but against all reason decide to wait for the other two teams before they leave for their next destination.

Pretty Boys Tyler and James surmise that the Brainiac Cho brothers have formed the alliance with two "weaker teams" so as to eliminate three "stronger teams", thereby leaving the two weaker teams as their only competition on the final leg of the race. This strategy makes perfect sense to Tyler and James, mainly because they are evil. But I don't think that is how the Brainiacs think (though I have to admit that's not a bad strategy).

Once back on shore, the teams are able to read their instructions, which tell them they must make their way to a certain post office. Instead of trying to find the post office themselves, Bickering Couple Rob and Kimberly decide to follow the Doublemint Twins (a case of the Blonde leading the Blind). This annoys the Doublemint Twins, and they manage to lose the Bickering Couple. Later, after stopping at a traffic light, Rob is unable to get his car back in gear. Because this is a minor annoyance, Rob and Kimberly have no choice but to yell at each other about it. Kimberly tells Rob to stop yelling at her and 'just do this'. Rob responds maturely by throwing a hissy fit. "No, you do it," he yells, then storms out of the car declaring, "I'm done."

Meanwhile, while gloating to each other about how nice it is to be in first place, the Doublemint Twins rear-end a stopped van. They wait for the cops to arrive, sign the appropriate paperwork, and still manage to be the first team to reach the post office.

The Bickering Couple, on the other hand, are still having trouble getting their car into gear. As a result, almost all of the other teams pass them. The show's rules say that if a team's vehicle is broken down or becomes inoperable, a replacement vehicle will be provided for them. This is what happens for Rob and Kimberly, but not in time to keep them from being second-to-last just in front of the Pretty Boys, who are once again lost.

All of the teams arrive at the post office (Doublemint Twins first, Pretty Boys last) and receive instructions for their next challenge, which is a Detour (a choice between two tasks). In this Detour, they can choose between "Salt" (searching through three giant piles of salt for a salt shaker which contains their next clue) and "Sail" (choosing a boat captain, having that boat captain take them to an island where they must search for a mast and sail, take that mast and sail back to the boat so the captain can attach it and sail them back to shore where they will receive their next clue).

Since it could take hours upon hours to search through giant piles of salt, "Sail" is the obvious choice here, right? Yet inexplicably, the Doublemint Twins and the Pretty Boys are the only teams to see this, while everyone else chooses "Salt". Sure enough, this task is just as tedious as it sounds. In a particularly cruel twist, the teams discover that pepper shakers, which contain no clue, have also been placed in the salt piles. Rob worries if digging through the salt will "pickle his fingers". After searching without results for what appears to be a long time, all of the teams besides the Kentucky Couple decide to give up and try the other challenge.

The Doublemint Twins are already on the island searching for the sail and mast, and are way ahead of everyone else at this point. However, they are also getting frustrated and even consider quitting and trying the other challenge. Because getting lost had put them so far behind, the Pretty Boys reach the boat dock just ahead of the Bickering Couple, which was the first team to leave the salt piles.

Back at the salt piles, Mary is yelling at Dave, "We're going to be the stupid couple who stays here all night and winds up gettin' elimintated!"

At this point, they know that at least three, possibly four of the other teams could not have finished the other challenge yet. If they stay and keep looking for the salt shaker they at least have a chance of finishing ahead of some of the other teams. But if they quit and go to the other challenge, they will certainly be in last place. So, logically, they quit and leave for the other challenge. Something tells me these two first met at a family reunion, if you get my drift.

The Doublemint Twins are the first to find the sail and mast, but because they took so long looking for those items, don't even make it back to shore before last place Kentucky Couple are in their boat on the way to the island. The Bickering Couple, then the Pretty Boys are the next to find their sails and masts, leaving the entire Six Pack in the rear. Hence, the Pretty Boys kindly dub the alliance with a new name, the "Back Pack".

The teams receive their instructions and find out that they are to drive directly from the challenge to the Pit Stop, which is located at a certain chateau. The Doublemint Twins are the first to arrive. Phil tells them they have each won scooters. He points out that the scooters seat two, so they can take a date.

Dustin asks, "Can we take you, Phil?"

"Um..." he responds.

I think what Phil meant to say was, "Sorry, but I have standards."

En route to the Pit Stop, the Six Pack are once again closely following one another. The Brainiacs and the Single Moms decide that once they park at the chateau, they will race for the mat. Mary of the Kentucky Couple, however says that once they park she intends to "wait for the 'Bama Girls." I don't think Mary is rolling on all four tires.

At one point, the Kentucky Couple get separated from the rest and take a wrong turn. The other two teams arrive around the same time and race for the mat. The Brainiacs get there ahead of the Single Moms from Alabama. David and Mary finally find their way back to the chateau and are the last to arrive at the Pit Stop. Phil informs them that this, like the last leg that David and Mary lost, is not an elimination leg, so they will be spared elimination on this round.

At once, every viewer at home can be heard to yell, "Oh, come on!"

There are only two non-elimination rounds in this contest, and they both happen to be the rounds that David and Mary lose. It could not be more obvious that this race is just a little rigged. It's ok, though. Without the Kentucky Couple, this season would be far less entertaining.

Next week - The teams come up against a Yield, forcing one of the Six Pack teams to work with the Doublemint Twins.

Episode Recap: Amazing Race 10, Week 6

2006-10-22T17:36:00.000-07:00

Episode: Maybe Steven Segal Will See Me and Want Me to Be In One of His Movies
Original Air Date: October 22, 2006

Our episode this week begins with the teams receiving their instructions from Phil via video on cell phones that are left for them in their instruction envelopes. Phil tells them they are to find a travel agency, book a flight to Kuwait City, Kuwait and locate Kuwait Towers (the Kuwaitis are not big on thinking up new names for things). But Phil doesn't tell them the name of Kuwait Towers, but only shows them a picture of what the towers look like.

Phil then ends the message with, "This cell phone will self-destruct in 10 seconds."

No wait, wrong show.

Peter and Sarah, who were in first place on the last leg of the race, are the first to leave. Humbly, Peter tells us, "On our worst day we are still better than some of the teams that are in the back."

Well, maybe Sarah is, anyway.

Doublemint Twins Dustin and Kandice are second to leave. Kandice reflects on their place near the lead, "I don't think anyone wants to be beaten by a couple of blonde girls."

Yeah, well, Kandice, if you find any actual blonde girls, let us know. It's only the sixth episode, and the old brown roots are already beginning to show.

Once at a travel agency, Peter tells the agent, "We need help urgently! It's a medical emergency for her leg!"

Then Peter lifts poor Sarah's leg up so the agent can see it. The agent doesn't seem impressed.

The Doublemint Twins arrive at a different agency and tell their agent, "Just tell them it's Miss California and Miss New York that need seats on the plane."

The agent laughs in disbelief.

"We really are!"

All of this is for nothing as, once again, all of the teams ultimately end up on the same flight to Kuwait. Even last place Kentucky Couple David and Mary, who leave the Pit Stop five hours after Peter and Sarah, manage to catch the same flight. These two were the last to arrive at the Pit Stop during the last episode. Since it was a non-elimination leg of the race, instead of being eliminated, they were given a 30-minute penalty. In other words, if they are not the first to arrive at the next Pit Stop, they will have to arrive at least 30 minutes before the last team to arrive in order to avoid elimination.

The Brainiacs, the Single Moms, and the Kentucky Couple are still in an alliance. One can't help but notice that these teams are also behind everyone else. Talk about the blind leading the rednecks. But holding true to the alliance, the Braniac Brothers help the Kentucky Couple at the travel agency, telling the agent, "Give them the same tickets, everything."

All of the teams arrive in Kuwait City at the same time the next day. All the teams also seem to have figured out that the picture they've been given is of Kuwait Towers.

On the way to the towers, Pretty Boy James asks Tyler, "So, they got a lot of oil out here?"

I guess you don't need to be smart to be a model. However it begs the question, why would people almost completely ignorant of any country other than the U.S. want to go on a race around the world? The Amazing Race often seems to have contestants who probably couldn't locate Canada on a map of North America, even if they were given three guesses. The producers probably purposely look for ignoramuses when choosing contestants for the show, "Hey, this guy thinks that South America is part of the Unites States. Let's get him!"

Meanwhile, Dustin, or maybe it's Kandice (does it matter?), reflects on her dad fighting in Kuwait. Suddenly, I feel very old.

Once at Kuwait Towers, which don't open until 11am (in case you ever feel like visiting), the teams find small key chains with numbers waiting for them. Bickering Couple Rob and Kimberly and the Pretty Boys are the first and second teams to arrive and snag numbers 1 and 2. The Doublemint Twins are next to arrive, followed closely by Peter and Bionic Sarah. Peter quickly runs past the Doublemint Twins to pick up number 3.

The Doublemint Twins are not pleased. "Peter and Sarah got number 3. That is so annoying."

Of course, the Doublemint Twins would never do anything like cut in front of someone else.

The Kuwait Towers open for business and the teams find out that in addition to the Road Block (a challenge that only one team member may perform), a Fast Forward challenge is available. The first team to complete a Fast Forward will be able to skip the rest of the leg and go directly to the next Pit Stop. The gamble is that if a team chooses to go for the Fast Forward, but is not the first to complete it, they have to come back and complete the Road Block, possibly resulting in a lot of lost time.

Both the Fast Forward and the Road Block on this episode seem almost suicidal. The Fast Forward involves putting on a flame-retardant suit and running around a simulated oil field fire while trying to find the next clue. The Road Block entails climbing up the ladder that goes up around the top globe of the Kuwait Towers (which reaches over 400 feet above sea level) to retrieve puzzle pieces. Once assembled, the puzzle will tell the teams the name of the street where they will find their next clue.

This Road Block requires a lot of climbing, so logically Peter decides his one-legged girlfriend should do it. Meanwhile, last place David and Mary are trying to decide if they should try the Fast Forward. Gee, we're in last place and marked for elimination. We're barely hanging in this race by a thread, do you think we should take this short cut that would put us in first place? It's such a hard decision! I wonder if it's just coincidence that this Fast Forward comes just as the Kentucky Couple need it.

The Doublemint Twins have already decided to try the Fast Forward. In an effort to buy the Kentucky Couple time, however, the Brainiac Brothers Erwin and Godwin bluff Dustin and Kandice into thinking that they are going to try the Fast Forward, too. Not wanting to risk losing time, the Doublemint Twins change their mind(s) and decide to do the Road Block instead. In the mean time, the Kentucky Couple finally get a clue and decide to try the Fast Forward. The Brainiac Brothers send them ahead and go back to do the Road Block. This selfless move puts the Brainiac Brothers in second-to-last place at this point in the race. What makes this act even more selfless is that both Erwin and Godwin are deathly afraid of heights. But since they're skipping the Fast Forward, one of them will have to do a Spider-Man routine on the outside of this skyscraper.

While driving on the streets of Kuwait trying to find the oil field, Mary offers her usual words of encouragement to David, "You're goin' the complete opposite!"

"Well you got a map," David yells back, "tell me where to go!"

They stop to ask someone for directions. This person happens to have a car. "Can I foller you?" David asks.

Evidently, the Kuwaiti man understands what it means for someone to "foller" him, and agrees.

As David is walking back to the car, Mary can be heard yelling, "David, come on! We ain't got all day!"

At this point, David's only hope is to sell Mary to a rich sheik.

Back at Kuwait Towers, Kimberly and Tyler have both ascended the outside ladder and retrieved the puzzle pieces. Bionic Sarah is next. While waiting, the other teams are whispering about how wrong it was for Peter to make Sarah do this challenge. Even Dustin/Kimberly (I've given up trying to tell them apart) sheds her usual nastiness and says encouragingly, "There you go, Sarah. Good job, Babe."

Surpringly, Sarah has an easy time with this part of the task. Confronting his fear of heights, Erwin also climbs the ladder without incident.

Meanwhile, David and Mary are getting suited up to face the oil field fire. Mary says she's afraid, but "maybe Steven Segal will see me and want me to be in one of his movies!"

Maybe, if he's making a movie set in a circus. By the way, this is the fourth episode out of six named for something Mary said. This is why the producers must keep the Kentucky Couple in the race. Otherwise, how will they name the episodes? David and Mary complete this task and are given instructions to drive to the next Pit Stop. Let's see if they can manage this without screwing it up.

Back at Kuwait Towers, the teams are working on their puzzles. The Pretty Boys finish first while the Brainiacs finish last. Everyone takes their puzzles, which contain a name written in Arabic, and ask for directions. The name is a name of a street where the teams must locate a bead shop. The shopkeeper in the bead shop will have instructions for their next Detour.

The Single Moms Lyn and Karlyn get directions from a Kuwaiti man and then tell him not to help the Doublemint Twins who are following close behind. As one of the Doublemint Twins comes running up trying to ask the man for directions, one of the Single Moms starts pushing him along, saying, "Go, go, go. Do not help her."

The man actually obeys and refuses to help the Doublemint Twins. Another man standing close by offers to help and even jumps into the car with the Doublemint Twins. Afterward, Dustin/Kandice complains about the Single Moms telling the Kuwaiti man not to help her. "The 'sistas' are being pigs right now," she says.

I guess you're only allowed to fight dirty if you're pretty.

The Brainiac Brothers are the last to finish their puzzle. They ask a policeman in a patrol car for directions. The cop agrees to lead them in his car and even turns on his flashing lights while escorting them to their destination.

Pretty Boys Tyler and James are the first to find the bead shop and read the instructions for their Detour (a choice between two tasks). This time, the Detour is a choice between "Manual" and "Automatic". In "Manual" the teams must load feed bags with camel feed, carry them 100 yards, and stack them correctly on a pallet. In "Automatic", the teams must go to a camel race track and attach a robotic jockey to a camel. The robot jockeys are controlled by a voice-activated remote control and are designed to lightly whip the camels. By using this remote-control, the teams must make their camel run a certain length around the track. (This is just as weird as it sounds.) The Pretty Boys choose "Manual". Everyone else get lost trying to find the bead store.

Meanwhile, David and Mary make it to the Pit Stop and avoid the 30-minute penalty. Their prize for being first is an all-expense paid trip to a resort in Jamaica. Good for them. Mary tells Phil they owe it all to the Cho Brothers (Brainiacs). Hopefully for the Brainiacs, this good deed will go unpunished.

Eventually, the remaining teams find the bead store. Peter and Bionic Sarah are the second to find it. When they pass the Brainiacs, however, Peter acts like they don't know where the store is and tells them that he has to go move his car because it's parked illegally. In contrast, once the Brainiac Brothers find the store, they tell the Single Moms where it is.

Rob and Kimberly, the Doublemint Twins, and the Brainiac Brothers reach the "Manual" challenge site and finish the challenge in that order. In the mean time, the Single Moms, who were dead last, find the camel race track and finish their challenge. The Doublemint Twins are the first to make it to the Pit Stop, putting them in 2nd place.

Both the Pretty Boys and Peter and Bionic Sarah lose their lead by getting completely lost in the desert. While the Pretty Boys are driving circles around Kuwait City, Peter believes they've found the camel race track when they see an Amazing Race arrow. Unfortunately, they discover they've found themselves at the Fast Forward site. After driving around some more, they end up back at Kuwait Towers. Peter decides to stop for directions. Meanwhile, the Pretty Boys stumble upon the camel race track and finish their challenge.

Peter and Sarah don't find their destination until after dark. Even Phil looks tired like he's been waiting on that mat all night for them to show up. After telling Peter and Sarah that they have been eliminated, he asks them about the status of their relationship. Talk about rubbing salt in an open wound. They both agree that they should just stay "good friends", but not continue to date. Well, that means at least one good thing has come out of this entire ordeal for Sarah.

Next week - The Single Moms and the Doublemint Twins feud at a ticket counter, the Doublemint Twins get into a traffic accident.