Thus Spake An Inert Rebel

A general quiz by any other name......

2008-05-06T14:33:00.002+05:30

will still be a general quiz. It can never be a Books Quiz. What we had last weekend at Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan were two Open General quizzes, one which went curiously went with the name of Books Quiz. Samanth Subrmanian's quiz was a pseudo books quiz. Mind you I am not criticising the standard of the questions, but the questions themselves. The prelims was literarly non-literary. Samanth had very smartly explained at the beginning that any written word would be treated as literature, which is fine. But somehow the choice of questions made me feel that the questions normally asked had just been repackaged with a different name. And needless to say we had the usual finalists on stage, making this another session of good quizzing, but not so engaging for the non-finalists. BTW for the record I am pissed off with seeing the same goshti's at all the quiz finals. I have come up with some rules to plainly make it more even a contest and more entertaining. Will write about it at some point.

A real life hero

2008-02-11T10:20:00.000+05:30

Day and Night Tests? What the $#%&

2007-12-19T13:35:00.000+05:30

"I wish people would leave Test cricket alone and keep their tinkering to the limited-overs game. What they need to do, if they think they aren't getting enough crowds, is to play less of the damn thing so that when a Test series comes around, people will want to see it instead of saying, 'Just another Test'."...Michael Holding as quoted by Sambit Bal, Courtesy Cricinfo.

Attaboy Mikey. Guess it takes a fast bowler to "bang" in some sense when administrators decide to tamper with the fairer version of the game.

Chomsky and Co clarify

2007-12-13T13:39:00.000+05:30

I received this from the Initative India google group, to which I subscribe.

We are taken aback by a widespread reaction to a statement we made with the best of intentions, imploring a restoration of unity among the left forces in India –a reaction that seems to assume that such an appeal to overcome divisions among the left could only amount to supporting a very specific section of the CPM in West Bengal. Our statement did not lend support to the CPM's actions in Nandigram or its recent economic policies in West Bengal, nor was that our intention. On the contrary, we asserted, in solidarity with its Left critics both inside and outside the party, that we found them tragically wrong. Our hope was that Left critics would view their task as one of putting pressure on the CPM in West Bengal to correct and improve its policies and its habits of governance, rather than dismiss it wholesale as an unredeemable party. We felt that we could hope for such a thing, of such a return to the laudable traditions of a party that once brought extensive land reforms to the state of West Bengal and that had kept communal tensions in abeyance for decades in that state. This, rather than any exculpation of its various recent policies and actions, is what we intended by our hopes for 'unity' among the left forces.

We realize now that it is perhaps not possible to expect the Left critics of the CPM to overcome the deep disappointment, indeed hostility, they have come to feel towards it, unless the CPM itself takes some initiative against that sense of disappointment. We hope that the CPM in West Bengal will show the largeness of mind to take such an initiative by restoring the morale as well as the welfare of the dispossessed people of Nandigram through the humane governance of their region, so that the left forces can then unite and focus on the more fundamental issues that confront the Left as a whole, in particular focus on the task of providing with just and imaginative measures an alternative to neo-liberal capitalism that has caused so much suffering to the poor and working people in India.

Signed

Michael Albert, Tariq Ali, Akeel Bilgrami, Victoria Brittain, Noam Chomsky, Charles Derber, Stephen Shalom

Why read Financial Times?

2007-12-07T09:11:00.000+05:30

Naomi Klein explains why she reads Financial Times . Chomsky had something similar to say about Wall Street Journal.

Despondence galore...

2007-11-24T13:42:00.000+05:30

Ok I will break my silence. I am shocked at CPI(M)'s take and handling of the events happening in Nandigram. I am a bit of a communist but am not a Communist. I believe that concentration of power, either with state or corporate entities would almost always lead to sickening results and loss of freedom. I also believe that left thought should work towards a heirarchy less structure with a more equitable distribution of resources. That one of the more sensible groups in the Indian political spectrum is involved in this sickening display of state power to subdue and subjugate the very people, whom it is supposed to represent(more so than in the nonleft states) makes me despondent. That the masses will lose faith in Left thought and what it represents would probably be one of the most disheartening outcome of the whole event. What made me feel worse was the lukewarm response of that most respected and fearless intellectual Noam Chomsky. Even acknowledging the various forces out to damage the Left (of which there are more than plenty) and the global importance of the need to preserve the Left experiment here and elsewhere, the situation still demanded a stronger admonishment of the State machinery from the noted anarchist. Chomsky Sir, I am disappointed, to say the least.

Having said this, the protests of the people and the intelligensia of Bengal is heartening and surely a healthy sign, for where there is no honest dissent, there can be no Left. A case in point, the absolute lack of spine and dissent culture in the land of one of the earliest dissenter, Nakkeeran,be it the ecologically disastrous and economically unviable Sethusamudram (the only protest is on religious grounds supported by a party which believes that displacing people without adequate and proper compensation, submerging forests and destroying natural heritage is the only way towards progress, even while the religion they claim to protect actually condemns such practices very severely.So much for being religious) or the Khusboo issue or the Dinakaran murders.

Yuvraj, Tirupathi and Chaos theory

2007-09-25T10:08:00.000+05:30

Yet another example of chaos theory at work...India wins 20-20 nonsense(20-20 can be equated to Yuvan's music. You listen to the Dad and on that confidence you listen to the son and you soon wonder what made you assume that something might have rubbed on to the son from the Dad) and you have BCCI and government pouring money on our cricketers. In the bygone ages of amateurs and quasi professionals, when cricket was nowhere near as lucrative as it is these days, when cricketers were not omnipresent, it made sense to gift land, money or a job to these achievers, thereby adding some security to their life. But how sensible is it to pour lakhs on the overpaid millionaire cricketers of the current age who in addition to having lucrative contracts with BCCI also earn a fortune through advertisements. This even when the average Ranji trophy and league cricketers gets paid pittance. But then we make traditions of these things don't we. We would only add money into the super rich coffers of Tirupathi as offerings while allowing the classic temples in and around Tanjavaur, Chidambaram and Kumbakonam to lie in ruins. If even in the realm of gods some are MORE equal than others, what can the poor Ranj Trophy cricketer expect.

Coming to the reference of Chaos theory at work, these days modellers use Chaos theory to model and explain why some movies become super hits, why some books become ultra popular and so on. And what is generally found is, that there is a positive feedback at work. So if there is some initial advantage, that advantage tends to increase subsequently and in the absence of external intervention there is a runaway. People try to apply this to ecological and economic networks. For eg I remember one talk, where the speaker used agent based interaction models to explain why laissez faire capitalism actually would soon lead to money in the hands of few while all the rest would become pennyless. It might be a very simplified model, but it gives one insight into how complex unbridled systems evolve naturally. My guess (or insight) is that this phenomenon can be applied to why some temples are more popular and why some cricketers get porsches even while others struggle to make ends meet. Even as I explained all this to my mother, she gave me a look of surprise and said our ancestors made this observation ages back and hence the oft repeated "panam panathoda thaaan serum"(money will only marry money). I tell you, these old people are out to get me.

Imsai of anachronisms

2007-09-17T08:51:00.000+05:30

Ok this is not a review of Imsai Arasan nor is this about Vadivelu's drunken antics. And neither is it about kalaignar TV (though I am gald to see Yuhi Sethu back in action).

Coming to the point, there are some very interesting things about Chimbudevan's Imsai, that as far as I can recall not many people seemed to have noticed. Now that is just another way of bragging that I noticed something in the movie. But hey what is a blog for if I am not allowed some self indulgence.

There are some very interesting anachronisms in the movie. The funniest being the final speech by the Ahimsai Arasan (ie the reformed Imsai Arasan), wherein he says "Maaveeran Alexanderpol, Samrat Ashokarpol.....Braveheart Mel Gibsonpol...." And then there is the Arasan's face morphed onto Brucelee's body. The best anachronism is not actually funny. but is a piece of smart work arising from conventional ignorance. It is basically Nasser's reaction to the Thambi Vadivelu's comment "maatram ondruthaaan marathuiruppathu" (Change is the only thing that does not change). Now this is a quote which is usually incorrectly attributed to Karl Marx, while it predates him by atleast a thousand years or more. But assuming that Marx made such a comment or was the first to use that phrase, Nasser's reaction to it is interesting. He gives a very surprised look and says, "...Ange thottu Inge thottu, athaiyum padithu vittaya.." ("Have you read that too..?"). The reference is to Marx and his works. But the story happens in the 1790's and not the in the 19th century. So Nasser does not refer to Marx by name.

For God's Sake........

2007-09-07T12:35:00.001+05:30

Forget about listening to the way "Madrasis" pronounce it...Can't people even read properly from the Menu. For the millionth time....
It is NOT Dosa......It is Dosai....
It is NOT Vada......It is Vadai....
Just as it not Poora, but Poori....

I rest my case M'lud.

The most unjust legal system

2007-08-31T09:12:00.000+05:30

I never realised how cruel the Indian legal system was. Two events then happened that changed my mind forever. I owe a lot to the TV channels for opening my eyes. Here were two men sentenced to jail. One for being in possession of illegal weapons like AK56(athu oru bayangaramana machine gun). And the other for killing a state protected endangered Chinkara and Black Buck. The former, on whom a 1.5 billion rupees industry depends upon, had to pay a hefty fine of Rs 25000. Poor Sanjay, can't imagine how he managed to save that large an amount from the paltry sum he gets for being the prime man in a 1.5 billion rupees industry. The media quite rightly kept harping on the billion rupees figure. After all in a capitalist democracy a person's worth depends on his/her wealth.

And Salman, poor fella was treacherously misled into thinking that shooting "voiceless" Black bucks was good sport. After all unlike the guys on the platform whom he drove over earlier, the Chinkaras and Black bucks wouldn't drag him to court. The bloody Chinkaras and Black bucks played foul. How was he to know that there were thinks in the world called endangered species, people like Belinda Wright, organisations like WPSI and laws against poaching. Poor Salman.

The perusu's of our land can go on and on about freedom fighters and kalapani and murky cells in Andaman. But can all those people's suffering compare with the sufferings (mental and physical) of these two men. How many times did Sanjay have to appear in court. Has anyone in India suffered as much as this man. Tell me what should poor Salman do...he is fined for driving over sleeping people, he is not allowed to kill black bucks and chinkaras, he is not allowed to call up on women and pain them. God forbid, he may be soon asked to start wearing shirts. Are we living in a fascist country? And think of the families. These two had sisters to look after. And worse still they had parents too. And as Sanjay pointed out, they are the lone "bread winners" of the family. Surely no one else in the country has so many issues to deal with.

It is yet again to the media's credit that it has been holding the spotlight on the inhuman sufferings of these entertainers, provoking some wonderful response from the chagrined public. One need just look at how the people of the nation have reacted to the state atrocities. I myself have been thinking of sending messages like these to people concerned. "Release Sanjay immediately. Is it Sanjay's fault that he possessed illegal weapons. If a poor man can flaunt a Bazooka on Screen, why can't he have a AK56 in his house. Throw the stupid communists out of the country?" "If Salmaan can't kill Chinkara Maan for fun...What the ***k maan?" What we need today are more such messages and letters, condemning such inhuman, soul wrecking injustice. We after all live in a civilised society.

1..2..3..CHO

2007-08-24T14:30:00.000+05:30

“Communists are opportunists” declares Cho, in his Vikatan interview, summarising his view on how the left have reacted to the nuclear deal. He cites the Left’s stand (or absence of it) on Chinese aggression in the North East as the justification for his comment. But surprisingly he spares the BJP of the adjective. In fact to a general question on opposition to the deal, he does not even mention the principal opposition party which is opposing the deal just like the Left. Actually coming from Cho, that is not surprising. For Cho, and others who think like him, BJP’s opposition to the nuclear deal is not opportunistic. That the BJP, had it been the ruling party, would have most likely gone ahead with the deal does not enter into the minds of these Left bashers. For these enlightened people, if Left opposes something on an ideological basis(hypocritical or not), it is opportunism. If the Right does the same, it is because the poor things are forced to do it because of political compulsion. What can the hypocrisy be in that!!!!!

Actually this sort of attitude tells a lot more about the sort of people we are. Take a stand on the basis of a belief or ideology and you will be hated. Take a stand when it suits you and dump it when it doesn’t and you can escape with just a tap on the wrist. You might even be voted to power next time. Ideologies are vulgar and hypocrisy is noble. How much more Victorian can we be?

Courtesy Blog

2007-08-09T17:29:00.000+05:30

What's a poosra in cricket terminology?
That is the doosra which guys like Marlon Samuels and Shahid Afridi bowl or rather pelt. Hence poosra -----Courtesy the "commie" Rum Shop CarribeanCricket.com

Interestingly the Rum Shop forum on Carribean Cricket is just like TFM forum. And by definition forums can be this way only.---Courtesy mutRupuLLi.

Forum'la satham pesaravanoda pechu thaan edupaduthu. anga nesam sethhu poguthu.---Courtesy the late Maaya Thevar

EKSI :( --- Courtesy soonapaana

Magsaysay for Sainath

2007-08-01T11:22:00.000+05:30

I have met "educated" and "knowledgeable" people who think that 95% of Indians can and do broswe internet regularly. There are others who think that Indians embrace inter-caste and inter-religion marriages the way Reaganites embraced terrorism, the state variety ie. And still others believe that Indian is SHINING. It is in the face of such ignorance that P.Sainath's continuing work becomes profoundly important. People like Sainath and Gurumurthy are probably the last information link between the urban "educated" class and the poor rural Indian. Sainath, an absolutely deserving receipient of the Ramon Magsaysay award.

My experiment with physics

2007-07-22T12:03:00.000+05:30

If you are steadfast in your aim in experimenting with the physicists and lab attendents, even while the people around you are losing their heads over experiments with inanimate molecules and face less atoms, then you will be Sridhar my Son. Now that is what Rudyard Kipling might have said IF he had known me. But since he didn’t have the good fortune, I will bear the cross of narrating my own experiments with physicists, pertaining specifically to the time I spent in the labs of the physics department at IIT Madras.

As our old friend Sai would put it, lab is the place where most Indian men learn the art of cooking. Even Meenakshi Ammal’s Samaithu Paar (1) would not teach one more than what one learns cooking at the physics lab. It is only when one gets deep into the art of manipulating and fixing data that one really begins to appreciate nature in her full grandeur. And added to it there is always more thrill in playing with numbers and data than merely noting down values from the Voltmeter and Ammeter.

When the enthusiastic experimenter is alphabetically placed next to two of the more beautiful girls in the class and thereby gets to spend a lot of the time with them, it can come as no surprise that he would spend more time in trying to understand them than the time he would spend in understanding the physics behind the experiment. Needless to say he was the Kadalaimamani(2) of the class. (Critics may argue that the title does not make sense, as the experimenter was the one who was busy talking. The girls themselves were busy doing the actual experiment. Monologues do not qualify as kadalai, they would say. But then critics are asses.) The negative side of this zeal on the chronicler's part in "putting kadalai" as the terminology goes, was the Stomach Plasma (3) that this act generated in the fellow males of the class. But then that was just yet another cross one had to bear in public life. But even the most severe critic of the chronicler would not deny that the man was always a perfect gentleman what with zealously following the 3 golden rules of the flirting Gentleman viz, Kadalai, Ganniyam, Kattupadu (4).

No lab is complete without the lab instructor and the lab attender. The lab in charge during the chronicler’s stay at IIT was a man who has to be seen to be believed. It would be more difficult to find a man who is so confident of his own knowledge, so much so that he starts every conversation with an I KNOW SIR, I KNOW. Probably he was the inspiration for the famous Raghuvaran sequence in Puriyatha Puthir(5). So much was his confidence that the historian once even saw him waving aside a speeding lorry with a casual wave of the hand as he was crossing the Sardar Patel Road. Anyway it was just a matter of seconds for Sana and Sai to name him DINOUSAUR to rhyme with his punch dialogue. The thing with having the man around in the lab was that the experiments never got done, because this man’s antics kept one laughing all the while. Add to that the wisecracks and witty comments from the PJ God Sana and Mokkai God(5) Sai and you know why the chronicler had to slog all night the day before the exams to complete the record note book on time.

Physics labs are generally less noisy, less smelly and less of a visual treat. There is nothing burning, no smell of rotten eggs and no squeals and screams that as a rule permeate the chemistry lab when frivolous experimenters accidentally consume oxalic acid through the pipette or pour CONC HCL on the neighbour’s hand bag. Nor is it the place where biologists murder poor rats and guinea pigs in the name of science and progress. Instead it is the place where the truly noble work gets done; work which adds meaning to human life and makes world a better place to live in. Like atom bombs and search for extraterrestrial life. Ofcourse all labs don’t get to make bombs. Not enough funds you see. Some of us just have to be satisfied in measuring the refractive index of water or the viscosity of oil.

References:(For the benefit of my gazillion non tamil speaking readers)

(1) Samaithu Paar: This is a classic cook book which is supposed to come to the rescue of many a newly wed bride. A translated version called "Cook and See" is also supposed to be available. The logical question arising is why should one see or what should one see after cooking. I guess the reference is to the seeing and driving part while going to a hotel after the cooking and the throwing away is done.

(2)Kadalaimamani: A take on Kalaimamani awards. Kadalai or putting kadalai is the process of flirting.

(3) Stomach Plasma: Shakespeare called it green eyed monster. Being physics students we call it Stomach Plasma. This is what someone succintly put as "all the fun you think they had".

(4) Kadalai Ganniyam Kaatupadu: Translated this means Dalliance (or as a verb Dally with) Dignity and Discipline. A take on the famous Dravidian motto, Kadamai Ganniyam Kattupadu.(Duty Dignity and Discipline).

(5)Puriyatha Puthir: A thriller released in the early 90's. There is a famous sequence when the Villian (Raghuvaran) suspicious of his wife, vents his irritation and sarcasm just by mouthing "I KNOW" in various ways. A very different thriller, this movie did rather badly and the director(K.S Ravikumar) probably went on to make movies like Nattamai, Periya Kudumbam, Honest Raj etc as an act of vengeance.

Kattabomman & Single Vadai

2007-07-11T12:45:00.000+05:30

What happens if after seeing Veerapandiya kaatabomman for the 50th time you go to Ratna Cafe and order one ordinary sized vadai....(and return 10.50 INR poorer)? You get to speak such dialogues......

"Malivana hotel endra ondru than illai ichennai maanagarile....Sarvana Bhavan ondru thaan arjaka costly endru ninaithen. Athu malivana hotel endru nirupithvittathu, emathu arumai hotel...velacherry 100 feet salayil ulla triplicane ratna cafe."

Venneer with Panneer -3

2007-06-15T11:29:00.000+05:30

VKR—that much laid back actor

I chanced upon V.K.Ramaswamy's (VKR) autobiography (I think it was titled “enathu thiraipayanam”) at the Velacherry Government Library. The book had forewords by many leading men of Tamil cinema, like AVM Saravanan, Cho, Rajini, Kamal and others . All of them had something good to say about VKR. What Kamal had written piqued my interest. The result is this post, a recollection of the VKR I have enjoyed on screen.

Kamal had compared VKR to Groucho Marx and Oliver Hardy. I have not seen much of Oliver Hardy, so can't say anything about that comparison except that VKR sharing his girth with Oliver probably shared the same stand and deliver style.(Sve Sekar is another actor who used this style to good use). But comparison with Groucho was both surprising and (coming to think of it) very apt. Groucho though starting in the silent era depended heavily on dialogues. He was a master at ad-libbing, with an ability to be devastatingly insulting and humorous at the same time. From the outside that looks very unVKRish. But then Kamal's comment probably was motivated by VKR's tendency to be surprisingly sarcastic and funny without even faintly making the effort to be so. A case in point is the scene in Unnal Mudiyum Thambi. VKR is a MP passing through a village with his coterie of assistants. Their car stops near the fields. And VKR gets down from the car and tears open a biscuit packet and throws the covering paper on the road. A villager standing nearby objects to this and asks him to throw the paper into the dustbin. VKR's assistant bends to pick the paper, but the villager stops him and asks VKR himself to pick it up as he had dropped the waste on the road. So VKR bends to pick the paper and while doing so comments nonchalantly...... “Unga oorula maadu thaanoda saanaththa thane kondu poi kuppa thottiyila poduma ....???” Yet another example is from Ooty Varai Uravu,one of the many Sivaji Muthuraman starrers. VKR, (Muthurman's father) wants Vijayalakshmi(Muthuraman's lady love, acting as amnesia patient) out of his house. Sivaji and Muthuraman try to cajole Vijayalakshmi to sit and eat something .

Vijaya:. Ninnute sapaddalame? (Can't I stand and eat)
Sivaji: Oh yes... Ninnute sapaddalame (Yes you can stand and eat)
Vijaya:. Nadanthute sapaddalame? (Can't I walk while eating)
Sivaji : Oh yes Nadanthute sapaddalame (Yes you can walk and eat too)
Vijaya: Oditte Sapadalame? (Can't I run and eat)
VKR : Sappataparam Odidalame ? ( You can eat and run away too..)

The last line by VKR comes as a surprise and the sarcasm strikes a bit slowly but when it does one just can't help laughing out loud.

Unlike Nagesh, VKR was not very keen to use the screen space. A typical Nagesh scene would involve him moving around a lot. Like Saqlain Mushtaq, Nagesh was a master in using the space available to him. VKR was more like John Emburey. He would just stand in a place and talk. VKR fans might not like the comparison though. Emburey was after all an English off spinner, a species as pathetic as an Indian fast bowler or a West Indian leg spinner. But that comparison was only regards their mobility and not their quality.

VKR typically would sit on the sofa/chair or at the most stand at the same place throughout the scene. But that was more than enough space for him, because his skill lay in the outstanding sense of timing. He would always be spot on in his timing and his dialogues in tandem with Nagesh would invariably be a riot, what with both trying to out do each other. In Rudra Thandavam(VKR's home production) VKR plays Lord Shiva and Nagesh a poor priest. Their conversation is very humorous, engaging and also gives an insight into VKR's political views. Dravidian politicians of that time clamoured for a separate Tamil land. Nagesh questions Lord Shiva(VKR) on this. VKR proceeds to use the slightly flawed but very humorous example of the Masala Vadai to ridicule the seperatists argument.

My personal favourites are his classic role as Nambi Anne in Fazil's Arangetra Velai( remake of Fazil's Ramoji Rao Speaking) and the cameo as an MP in Vikram. When the missile (Agniputra) is stolen, the chiefs of the armed forces and the intelligent bureau get together for a top secret meeting. VKR enters the room and welcomes the Navy Admiral with ...”Enna Kappal, Sowkiyama” and then gives the classic reply on being informed about the stolen missile (or rocket as VKR is told by the chief of staff)..... ”Rocket'a....athu Sivkasi samcharam”. But then Sujatha (dialogue writer for Vikram) reserves the best till the last. A visibly worried VKR enquires about the missile....”Antha Missile inga vedicha Ambur vara kekkuma...”...This perplexes the Chief of Staff... Then VKR proceeds to explain...”....illai anga ennakku oru karumbu thottam irrukku, athan ketten”.

Great Indian Cinema Quiz

2007-06-05T11:56:00.000+05:30

Too many sappai questions in the Great Indian Cinema Quiz. The questions were based on only Tamil and Hindi films, with probably 3 exceptions. Both Sana and I knew next to nothing about the Hindi filma questions that were asked. But the Tamil movie questions were generally very very answerable. Atleast I got a lot of answers in the finals. A big pity we didn't have a third member with some Hindi fundaes. We might have made it to the final.

There was not a single question asked on Vijaykanth or the Maestro. Now that is a big time sin. Otherwise it was good fun at Tatvaloka on Sunday morning.

PS: Now I shall never understand this concept of corporate religiosity or corporate spirituality. Tatvaloka had huge pictures of Shringeri Acharyas and a sculptor of Adi Shankara. But it is a fully air conditioned hall with smooth flooring, slick chairs and car parking basement. Somehow I fail to see what is Hindu or spiritual about all these things.

kathai keLu, kathai keLu

2007-06-01T13:43:00.000+05:30

Story telling is a passion with me. It is not that I am an expert narrator. I certainly do not enthrall my audience. People have criticised that I am a downright bad speaker, what with a craving to push in as many words as possible within the unforgiving minute and a tendency to mix my own insights with the actual story. (Intha insight, outsight ellam where disappearing when it comes to my research is something which my guide would like to know). But inspite of my critics and the hostile attitude of listeners I literally live to tell a tale.

I have found children to be the most stringent examiners of my narrative abilities. They love listening to stories and they keep me on my toes by reacting spontaneously. If they don't like a story or think they would be better off else where, they don't suddenly remember that they forgot their keys and ask to be excused. They just leave. But when they are enjoying it, their shining faces are a sight to behold. Many have been the happy hours that I have spent telling stories to my little cousins, nieces, and other kids.

Narration is an art. The audience has to be under the narrator's spell. One has to ensure that not a word is missed, not an emotion lost and not a joke unlaughed. Kodambakkam directors are invariably master story tellers. What they can't get right in the movies, they actually do when they narrate the story to our heroes. And so confident are they of the different fare they are providing, that when interviwed on sets, they invariably say: "Ithu oru different'ana subject...tamil'la intha mathiri kadhai vanthathe kidyadhu......." The Friday review would reveal this different movie to be a college campus love story between a rich girl and poor boy, with the love triumphing at the end. Very different indeed.

But maybe that is doing an injustice to these master narrators. Many a hero falls for the narration skills of these men. The best illustration of how a story is told in Kodambakkam is the scene from Kadhalikka Neram Illai, where Nagesh narrates a horror story to Balaiah. By the end of the scene Balaiah is no more knowledgable about the story than he was at the beginning, because Nagesh's narration actually narrates nothing. He just descibes the scene and describes it well enough to frighten Balaiah big time, just the way any Kodambakkam director/story teller worth his salt would. No wonder Vijaykanth keeps remaking so many of his movies.

And this capacity to mesmerise through real/virtual story telling comes as no wonder, because story telling is something Indians have always been very good at. Indians have a rich heritage of story telling. Stories have been always been a medium of instruction. Stories were used to pass down values from one generation to next. In the bygone ages when values and morals did not change as fast as they do today, stories no doubt helped patch up small gaps between generations. When he sits down to create and narrate stories, sky is the limit for the Indian story teller. He lets the horse of imagination free to wander. Stuff like censor, morals, values actually take a backstage as the horse gallops across the rich terrain of imagination. And the resulting output is a rich collection of stories ranging from the fantastic to the absurd. From the educational Panchtantra, to romantic Kadambari(which is a story labyrinth, what with story inside a story inside a story inside a....). From the Hindu Mahabharata, to the Buddhist Jataka. From the intellectual Vikram and Vetal tales to the deeply sarcastic Parmartha Guru tales by Veera Maamunivar.

Ofcourse story telling is not every one's cup of tea. There is a large population out there who can't tell a tale crisply and engagingly. Many a wannabe story teller can only do a "avan enna sonnanu'na....athu vanthu.....ithunuttan....athavathu vanthu...aven...." type job. If this person is your guest or social superior or worse if he is your boss, you are in big trouble. But actually in the Industrial age, there exists a separate industry for the employment of such human rambams. Mega serials, they call it.

PS: After reading the prepost one of my friends asked me whether the last paragraph was autobiographical. Maybe he be torn apart by a Velociraptor.

Logic da saamy

2007-05-11T10:27:00.000+05:30

Channel KTV...

Movie Mahanadhi..

Scene 1 ...Kamal, Poornam and Rajesh sit together and discuss the unfairness of honest men suffering, after Kamal tries to meet Dhanush(Cochin Hanifa) on return from jail...

Rajesh: ..Nermaiya irukuruvannuku mathipu illai, anal thevidiythanathukku thunai poravannuku maalaiya'nu".....

Scene 2.....Kamal's daughter on coming back from Kolkota mumbles in her sleep......

Kamal's daughter...."Vidungada thevidiya pasangala.....naan enna machina.....

KTV decides that the second utterance of thevidiya is three much so cuts the audio for that portion, while retaining the scene. But it does not do so for the first utterance of the T word. The T word is retained as is the visual.

So what does one infer from this instance selective censoring...

1)Was it a plain case of missing out on the first thevidiya....

2)Was it a case of men using the word being more acceptable than women using it......

3)Or was it a case of pimps being more socially acceptable than bastards....

KTV, kaunse choice ko lock kar diya jaaye ???

Most probably the answer is one...in which case it most certainly means that the person who sat down to decide the censor did not see the movie throughly enough. Also it might be that he/she knew about the occurence of the second T word before hand as it was a much talked about scene. If that is the case what is the point in censoring it? Most people know what was said there anyway. Athu enna logic'o..Devure.....

(BTW I am assuming that it is ok to censor stuff when telecast on TV. That assumption is in itself debatable.)

Kosuru goof up.....
The Kamal Sukanya kissing scene was cut. Now if someone supports that the most natural kissing scene in Tamil movie history, is objectionable to the sensitivities of the viewer, they can jump into koovum....
Nalla velai real life'la intha maari kissing scene'a cut panravnaga ellam illai...:)

How British are We?

2007-05-08T15:23:00.000+05:30

I have always maintained that the national religion of post independence India is Britishism. We are often more British than the British themselves. This is actually true for a variety of reasons ranging from love for the white skin to a colonial hangover to plain inferiority complex. But there actually is more to our Britishism than what I imagined. The man who opened my eyes to how British we actually are was George Mikes. So here goes a passage from his omnibus, "How to be a Brit". The passage is the contents of a secret memo from the Ministry of Standstill(as Mikes calls the Transport Ministry) on how to go about road laying.

"Inasmuch as after seven or eight years of strenuous work, minor road-repairs must unfortunately be terminated, the cooperation of the local authorities is now sought. As soon as the road is covered by the new asphalt, but before it dries it is to be torn up again by the gas authorities; the same procedure is to be repeated by the Water Board authorities;by the telephone authorities; by the Sanitary authorities,by the Inland Revenue; by the local education authorities;by the Chelsea pensioners. As soon as the last-named body has completed operations, ordinary road-repairs may safely recommence."

Now we know why our corporation guys lay roads the way do. They are just being British.

If that is to do with the bureaucratic circles, this is what Mikes has to say about the intellectual achievements of the average British.

"A true-born Englishman does not know any language.......Indeed inability to speak foreign languages seems to be the major if not the only intellectual achievement of the average Englishman."

So our citizens are obediently practicing Britishism when they refuse to learn the language of the place they dwell in and instead continue to use Hindi or English or Tamil(as in Bangalore).
Now who dare question their right to the religion of their choice, a right enshrined in the Constitution?

PS: That line from Mikes reminds me of Cho's dialogue from Mohammed Bin Thuglaq...."Tamil Varathu, English Theriyathu, Hindi Pidikathu".

YOU CAN SIN

2007-04-27T12:37:00.000+05:30

I am extremely jealous of Shiv Khera. It takes a special talent to make millions by advising people not to take drugs, not watch the idiot box for long periods, work hard, study well etc. He just missed adding that we should wash our teeth when we get up in the mornings and eat when hungry. That's ok Shiv, you can add it in the next edition. Kheras'que maxims motivated me to come out with my own book "You Can Sin". This is a semi-biographical motivational book to help you Sin in the Indian context. This book is aimed at the social and economic upper sections. Not that lower sections don't need to know how to sin. Just that they won't buy the book anyway, so why waste time writing for them. I can instead waste time writing for the bourgeois and the bourgeois can waste time reading it. Mutualism, they call such behaviour. So here are some excerpts from this book.

"The easiest way to Sin in India is to claim that you are irreligious. Not secular mind you, for then others would know that you are a hypocrite, though they will understand, because they are hypocrites too. But if you care to admit that you don't bother about the Maker and his creed, then you have most definitely opened your account."

".......idea is to make noises only about caste inequality and not class inequality. If you think that there is something fundamentally unfair in both Salman Khan and tea kadai Ponnusamy being granted a bail for the amount of 50000 rupees for driving over a bunch of workers sleeping on the platform, then you can notch a mark in your Sin sheet. You can add a few more over here by objecting to the fact that law is so egalitarian that it gives freedom to Sarala to hire a good lawyer for appearing on her behalf in the Sarala vs The State case for soliciting customers near Pattinapakkam Bus stand. She only has to find some way to pay the lawyer's fees. Justice will take its own course after that."

"One area where I personally have constantly Sinned is education. By refusing to be an engineer, I assured myself a few hundred points in my Sin sheet. Had I chosen arts ahead of science then I could have assured myself another 100 points. I was once caught by my relatives while (hold your breath) writing poetry. That boosted my score by atleast fity points. Further by choosing to not make any efforts to go to US to further my knowledge of Physics, I ensured an absolute score fest. "

"..........telling your friendly neighbourhood non-sinner that progress in India means we try to replace senseless tradition with even more incorrigible fashion. She will give you a disdainful you-conservatives-are-like-this-only look and you would know that you have notched a few valuable points on the sheet."

"It might surprise you, but a very large section of educated youth and professionals believe that talking Tamil in Chennai, Kannada in Banagalore, and Telugu in Hyderabad is a Sin. So if your runs are not coming from anywhere, just say "nanri" when you get down after getting a lift on the IT highway in Chennai. The fellow would probably ask for pardon from the Great Lord for giving a lift to a langauge Fascist before going to sleep.............. "

"As a citizen you may be concerned with the growing student unrest on some very important issues like whether they should be allowed to wear collared T-shirts to college. If you ask them the logic behind fighting big time for their rights on such serious issues while obediently following the dress code in the software companies they join soon after college.....er.....well what should I say..... for this you get the pleasure of being simulatenously denounced a chauvinist, fascist and a communist by students and media alike."

"If you claim that advertisements often are just glorified cheating, you will be baptised a Sinner by Free Marketeers. They will then proceed to give you a lecture on the importance of advertisements, the freedom to choose, the right to know, the duty to fart and other assorted rhetoric. If you disagree with Free market rhetoric and point out how the most industrialised nations have always depended upon state subsidies to become what they are, you will be deemed an irredeemably indoctrinated Sinner. Congratulations on reaching the Centurion Sinners Club in one stroke."

"......we are dealing with the Indian context, there is one area of public thought which even the most incompetent sinner can use to build up his box of Sins. Comment on the rationality behind students not finding the concept of management seats (reservation for the rich) in Engineering and Medical colleges unfair and detrimental to the nation, even while they are engaged in crying that caste based reservation is bad for the country."

I have not committed all the Sins pointed out here. But I do have a feeling of camaraderie for people who commit such Sins. Long ago a Patti called me a Pashandi for not following the supposed rules and practices of the caste I was born into. I must thank the Patti for being honest and speaking out her mind, for there have been others who have just thought the same, but have not said it aloud. Thanks to all these people I have managed to accumulate an unusally large number of Sins. Now it is just a matter of time before the guys down in the Sin Land give me a permanent resort to stay when I am there.

The King and I

2007-04-23T13:39:00.000+05:30

It would be hard to find someone more unfortunate than Brian Lara in world cricket. There was a point of time in the late 90's, when he used to be blamed for every single West Indian defeat. What could be more unfortunate than the fact that in addition to scoring most runs in tests, he also has played in most lost causes. He was also a victim of an unusually large number of poor decisions(for eg 3 times in 6 innings in Australia in 2005). And to add salt to wound, the run out at Kensington Oval on Saturday.

The first time I saw him play, he was stumped of the bowling of Narendra Hirwani in the WSC in Australia 1991-92. Looking back at his subsequent mastery of spin bowling of all forms it is hard to believe that he was stumped once upon a time. But at that point Sydney 1993 was still a year away. Half of my senior school life went in fighting on behalf of Lara in the eternal Lara vs Tendulkar fight. I have sat through all his great knocks against the Aussies. My favourite is of course the magical 153 at Kensington Oval, rated the second best knock in Tests. That Mcgrath had to resort to bowling wide of the stumps to prevent him from playing said it all. The fan that I then was, my email id had (still has) the Lara number (375) to it. (Though it should rightfully be 400 now). But then as I matured, I also began to recognise the other not so good side of Lara. Not good as in not good for West Indies cricket.Too big a super star in a team game, he was. I don't blame him for that though. Often he has been criticised for being mercurial. But that is a feature of all geniuses. Illayaraja has his classics, but then he also has his super lows. Try listening to some of his music for a few 1980 Pandiarajan movies. But then given the right situation and frame of mind, that man could make you float on cloud nine. Lara was like that. He was not a Steve Waugh to work on his batting or captaincy. He led by inspiration. But then the thing with trying to lead by deeds and inspiration is that one also has to be an extreme team man. On field Lara was always a team man. Off the field not always so. That returns us to the point of being a lone super star in an average team.

I am sad that Lara has retired. He has been one of my 6 favourite entertainers. But then there is always a time to retire. I am glad that he got out while he was still on top as a batsman. The square drive that could precisely split the point and the backward point was still in place. So were the cheeky sweep and the delicate laaaate cut as he showed in Chepauk. And the most glorious of them all, the dancing down the pitch to hoick the ball anywhere that he chose between widish long on and deep extra cover.

I was then (as I am still now) an ardent follower of Windies cricket. A thankless task it has been for the last 10 years. But then "ithu... kathal". And for the sake of Windies cricket I am looking forward to the post Lara era. There won't be any more super stars from the tiny islands. Just a bunch of talented individuals. Unlike most readers of CaribbeanCricket.com, I think Windies will do better (provided they also solve their Board and payment issues) from now. With the possible exception of Chris Gayle, Windies cricket has been over the last few years all about Lara. This has been inspite of Lara's own efforts to project others. In his last 100 ODI's atleast he has always batted down the order giving a chance for the younger guys to bat. With the exception of Gayle and Sarwan, others have not made good use of this opportunity. The media and critics were still focussing on Lara. Now with his retirement, hopefully the others would come out and perform. And with no numero uno amongst their midst, hopefully they will play better as a team just like the Kiwis.

Thank you Brian. You have entertained us all like no other. You have been a living example on how to maintain one's quality even when others around are losing theirs. You leave behind a rich memories. Thank you once again. But now as Holding points out, we will look to the future.

Dasavatharam flicked from Swahili?

2007-04-17T12:39:00.000+05:30

An interesting article and debate this on PFC.Actually a wholly more interesting thing is the question of plagiarism. What is plagiarism? When does an inspiration become plagiarism? I guess this is one accusation that has been the bane of artists since time immemorial. Even with improved technology and more accessibility to art forms world over, the fact remains that any serious artist or thinker or for that matter a scientist is often influenced subconsciously/consciously by things around him. Michael Crichton claims to have been influenced by Arthur Conan Doyle's Lost World when he wrote Jurrasic Park. Congo was inspired from King Solomon Mines and so on. But Congo and JP retain a seperate identity, because of the quintessential Crichton persepective that they provide.

So are the seemingly arbitrary accusations of plagiarism, an attempt at celebrity knocking? Or are these genuine accusations? Or are these an attempt to attract attention made by failed artists or artists who have not got what they deserved? After all when makers of meaningful cinema like Balchanadar, Bala, Mani or Kamal are accused of plagiarism, the accuser gets a chance to be associated with stories/movies which have some semblence of quality about them. No such accusations are made about Ajith or Vijay or Rajini movies. Such is the quality of their movies that no sensible person wants to have credit for the storlyline. (Eeeksss...Why would one want to be the story writer of Tirupacchi or Alwar). On the other hand with such big money and fame involved, no one would be above flicking a thing or two from around. So one can't just throw out offhand such accusations.

Kannadasan used an unique way to shut up people crying fowl. Kannadasan faced accusations of plagiarism from a couple of tamil writers early in his movie making career. But then soon he found a very viable method to put an end to these accusations. The titles of all his movies thereafter included a line like this.."adapted from the novel 'Chadramathi' by Ashutosh Mukherjee' or 'adapted from the Begali novel "Akaansha" by Anirban Bandhopadhyay'. And as expected no one took the trouble to find whether such a novel really did exist or not.

So maybe Kamal should announce that Dasavatharam is actually an adaptation of the Swahili oral rendition called "Ten lives of a vagabond in sub Saharan Africa" by Ntkeli Mbwanga. That should shut them up.

A criticial enquiry into the elementary problem of fluid ejection dynamics.

2007-04-05T16:20:00.000+05:30

At the end of every third hour or so, Sai and I used to walk upto what he called the "Pissa Corner", to empty our bladders, desperately trying to not breathe while there. (Mate..why do you think just because it was IIT, toilets had to have water....hmmm??). That one could shit also at the "Pissa Corner" (if one could stand the stench for a longer time) is one technicality that we chose to ignore. "Pissa Corner" it remained and shall remain forever, amen.

BNB's reference to an urgent mission set me on a historic endeavour to find why we folks don't refer to the stuff by its name. After all calling "moocha", "moocha" shouldn't be a crime. Now the first question that I raise in this enquiry is, "Who was that siru viral krishna rao who first used his kutty viral to indicate that he was on his way to the gentlemen's room." Let me preempt the several hundred "peters" waiting to point out the lack of that particular room in ancient India. Relax my dear "peters of india", we will call it the gentlemen's 'puthar'.

The fluid in concern has the "Thou shall not be named" character associated with it. So one finds "ungaLala aathirathaiyum adakka mudiyathu,......................." like lines in movies, that leave the unnamed one, to be imagined by the viewer. Why is it that we feel the need not to say that we are on the way to, if i am allowed nounifying a verb, pass the piss. What do we find objectionable in referring to an action, which if we fail to do even once for a whole day, can kill us. So much for the risks of not passing it outside, Morarji Desai actually used to pass it inside, and hence lived to a ripe age of 100. But thankfully one does not always have to consume the yellow fluid to be safe. Actually even letting it out would serve just the purpose. If you don't trust me, you could have asked Yuri Gagarin, were he alive. If you think he came back alive from space because the Soviet engineers had made an engineering marvel in Vostok 1, I can only click my tongue and wonder at your ignorance. Care to know what brought him back safely? Well, he had actually emptied his bladder on the back tyre of the jeep which carried him to the launch pad, before taking off. That was why Yuri was able to return safely back to earth. If you find that ridiculous, tell it to the numerous cosmonauts who follow this life saving practise before embarking on their missions . I even heard that ISRO is planning to include this in its checklist for“Steps to go to moon”. Now you know what the first Indian on moon did, minutes before take off.

From faith to philosophy. Have you ever forcefully held in the stuff, your brains ordering your bladders to not release the fluid because you were caught on the wrong bus which just did not stop at any bye-pass tea kadai. How did it feel when you finally released the load at the end of the ordeal. A friend of mine, has a wonderful word for this particular feeling. Paramanandam, he calls it. He hath not spoken a truer word since. One may grin and bear Vijay movies, one may sit through a T.R master class with minimum discomfort, but sitting for a few hours with one's bladders desperately trying to eject the fluid while the brain is busy sending SOS's to the bladder muscles to hold it in, would be enough to bring a tremor to even Napolean's face.

Actually it is these little things that brings life to a stand still, perplexing one like nothing else. And it is always these little things which puts life into perspective and forcing on us some much needed humility. That is why most perusu's say, "konjam addaki vaasi kanna".

The social attitude towards the whole issue is best captured in this memorable line from a Tamil movie, translated by adiyen. "There are many temples in our cities, but have you ever seen a man running up to you urgently in need of a temple, desperately searching for a place to practise his faith ". Sticking with the practise of not referring to the thing, I will omit the other half of the dialogue, leaving it to the reader's imagination. It is the manisfestation of this attitude towards passing the piss, that one sees on the well wetted outer walls of many an use and pay public toilet.

Mahabharata relates the story of one Brahman who goes about this task standing. The poor man suffers for this folly in his next birth(or some such thing). Whether one suffers in the next birth or not, one might suffer in this birth. The standing posture I guess probably does not produce enough pressure or some such thing. At any rate, the fact that men suffer from more cases of stone in the urinary tract can be attributed to the fact that they stand and deliver. Now having passed on this crucial piece of information/misinformation as the case may be, my article escapes the fate of not being even 1 piss'a worth.

PS: I am planning to get this detailed review, published in the Journal of Pissical Sciences. Wish me good luck.

Spotted

2007-04-04T15:30:00.000+05:30

A title of a paper on my guide's desk...........

Activation of micrological group III, metabotropic Glutamate Receptors Protects Neurons against microglial neurotoxicity.

Ennamo sollureega'nu theriyudhu..ana enna'nu theriyala.............