The Rock & Roll Chef®

Halloween Industry Pioneer? You Decide...

2009-11-09T18:42:00.003-06:00

BEING AHEAD OF YOUR TIME MEANS YOU STARVE UNTIL THE REST OF THE WORLD CATCHES UP.

Unfortunately, this is a quote I have both coined and experienced firsthand. I would also offer that the key to success - in one's own lifetime, anyway - is to be JUST ENOUGH ahead of everything; say, 6 months to a year out. Certainly no more than 5 years out.

This Halloween season, I had a bittersweet experience while shopping for some craft tools at Joanne Fabrics (is it wrong to admit I dig arts & crafts stores? I've certainly made some nice coin, courtesy of that industry). While at the store, I noticed a pumpkin carving product from Pumpkin Masters that "borrowed" (i.e., stole) a concept I pioneered with X-Acto with my "Halloween Carving Kit" years ago: Self adhesive sheets for the pumpkin templates.

Granted, Halloween truly is "knockoff city." Most of the craptastic products are made in China, they come & go within a year or two, and it's extremely difficult - if not impossible - to police your proprietary goodies. It takes months to develop a lot of the stuff, get the prototypes overseas, manufacture it, etc. And then it takes 3 months "on the water" to get from China to US ports. The fight is usually won or lost by the time the fall season hits. Fact is, if you ever want to learn the real-world difference between copyrights and trademarks - and which one has more teeth in a US court of law - I invite you to enter the Halloween industry.

For the record, I'm pretty much out of the industry these days - I really could care less if I never carved another pumpkin as long as I lived. I do, however, do a select few for my own purposes as gifts to companies or people I want to start a dialogue with and/or reward. But that's another story - here's the rest of this one.

THE WHOLE REASON I DEVELOPED my pumpkin carving kit for X-Acto was pretty much as a response to the shitty shitty pumpkin carving kits on the market at the time. These Pumpkin Master kits not only featured AWFUL, flimsy saw blade tools that broke if you breathed on them the wrong way; they also had a STOOPID technique where they wanted you or a kid (with an attention span of a gnat) to punch a boatload of holes around the image on their templates (patterns) to outline the design. Right. It took forever before you could even start to carve the image - totally lame.

I had been doing carving demos at Chicago's Navy Pier for about a month, and quickly figured out that trying to accommodate hundreds of kids with any sort of urgency was not going to go well with the Pumpkin Masters method. Instead, I created my own templates, featuring adapted art for everything from Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, "The Scream," sports logos, aliens, etc. From there, I used some spray adhesive to slap the templates on the pumpkins, and they were ready to rock. FYI, I also never saw anyone else do this: I used a door-handle circular saw-tooth bit to clean out the insides of the pumpkins.

From there, I thought the same idea would work without the spray, only we'd use self-adhesive, peeloff sheets on the templates. And it did work, and that's what X-Acto did for my kit.

NOTE: I just took a look around online for an image of their product (didn't find it); but I have to say one thing: After looking at all the different pumpkin carving kits I could find, I challenge anyone to show me a better-produced kit than what I did for X-Acto. In addition to my original template designs, it also featured a solid tool (interchangeable heavy-duty X-Acto saw blade with handle); inner booklet with illustrations by Monte Beauchamp; history of Halloween, recipes, etc.

In case anyone is wondering if it's possible Pumpkin Masters arrived at this idea themselves, the answer is..... hell no. I vividly remember the PM owners checking out my stuff while I exhibited at the Halloween & Party Show in Rosemont, IL, years ago; while they are certainly no strangers to "knockoff city," they cannot claim they weren't aware of my technique years ahead of them. What, no kiss? Not even a thank you?

So here's me, looking at a "new" product stolen from my archives, wondering yet again - why is it that all these thieves & copycats seem to thrive without repercussion, while the artists, originals & pioneers get kicked to the curb with nary a dime?

"If Cats Could Talk...

2009-11-09T09:15:00.005-06:00

... they'd let Dale walk?"

MAYBE YOU'VE SEEN SOME RECENT press about Dale Bozzio (singer for Missing Persons) and her "cat trouble?" I actually hadn't heard a thing about it until she showed up here at the studio last Friday on her way from California to do 30 days in some small town jail in New Hampshire next week (yikes!). My first thought: WHAT A CRAPPY LAWYER - FIRE HIM IMMEDIATELY! But my second thought: Consider the old saying that "any publicity is good publicity."

I'm always looking to make lemonade out of lemons; In Dale's case, it appears she's finally ready to move forward with something I've been talking with her about for awhile: Her own line of gourmet food & wine. She's always been big into cooking Italian food, which speaks to her Italian/French heritage. After spending some time with her this weekend, it also dawns on me maybe it's time someone acknowledged her role in the success of Missing Persons (much more than being the singer), plus the incredible quality of musicians and artists she's been able to befriend & work with in her career (more soon...)

Foodie Flakes vs. Rock & Roll Scum

2009-11-09T09:04:00.003-06:00

Although most folks would never have a reason to consider it, I've discovered nearly an equal amount of snakes & outright liars populating the food industry AND music industry (about the only difference I can see is the way in which the kick in the nuts is delivered).

The latest dirtbags on my list include Chicagoland Speedway and The Taste Of Atlanta. They join "Whole Paycheck" (Foods) and Euro RSCG in the hall of shame for outrageous/unethical behavior.

Don't get me wrong: I'm no amateur, and know all the rules before committing time & talent to any project or show (i.e., signed contract and/or money up front before leaving town). These two organizations, however, both had extenuating circumstances (geographically friendly and/or prior relationships); but both ended up costing me $$$.

But here's a political question: Is it better just to take the hit, not mention a thing, and hope there's a deal to be cut down the road? Or go for "full disclosure," let it all burn, air the laundry, and vow to never deal with these people again? Discuss...

A Tale Of Target & Teenagers - With A Twist

2009-09-20T22:11:00.002-05:00

This has NOTHING to do with food or music - although I was looking for a new DVD player to quality proof the authored DVDs I'm knocking out these days. This is about something I witnessed in a south Chicago suburban Target which got me thinking about a few things, especially juxtaposed against our current political climate. That is to say: Litigious, race cards & accusations of race being thrown around everywhere, invasion of privacy - you name it.

I'll get to the main story in a minute, but when the checkout girl said they'd need to scan my driver's license to buy a bottle of wine - I said HELL NO. I'm obviously well over 21 to anyone who's not blind, and I have never had anyone ask to scan/digitize my ID before to make a simple (cash) purchase. Even though part of my life is in the spotlight, I've always had a funny feeling about & been resistant about giving up my info to anyone. But that's a different conversation - here's the main story:

As I walked into the Target, I noticed 5 or 6 teenage girls sitting by the little food court, maybe 13 or 14, all pretty much dressed the same (shorts, tank tops, flip flops, light jewelry - the tribal/gang thing most teenagers do naturally), having a fairly rowdy good time, no adult supervision in sight. I remember thinking about how it was like being at that age - testing boundaries, trying to crack up your pals, seeing who could be the most bold or outrageous.

I went my way, checking out various stuff, breaking down the layout like I always do in stores (i.e., POP displays, lighting, large format print ads, inventory, flow of the store; I know, I'm a freak that way). Before long, I noticed the crap-tastic Halloween inventory was already out (and it's mid-September). And then I heard the teenage girls being loud nearby; and then I saw something else.

It was a mid 30-ish Target employee - red shirt & khaki pants with a walkie talkie on her belt - coming up fast, and getting on those girls like a duck on a junebug (as they say). She had a very stern delivery: "If you girls aren't going to buy anything, you need to take off those Halloween masks and move along. Otherwise I'm calling security." A few other Target clones came onto the scene, and I heard some chatter on their walkies; the girls calmed down a little, and did seem to be moving along (I didn't stick around to see the outcome).

And now... Before I tell you what COLOR OF SKIN the girls or the stern employee had - can you figure out what I was thinking at that moment? Here it is: I was wondering what would have happened if the girls had been a different color/race - would that scenario had played out differently? Would there have been a complaint to the store? Or even a lawsuit? Or an embellishment of what was actually said by the employee? Even though I thought the employee was well within her responsibilities to lay down the law, we've all heard stories about crazy stuff happening in these big box/corporate chain stores.

Like I said - I'm a freak, and my mind just gets carried away a lot of times. And now (big finish): The skin color of all the teenage girls and the stern employee was (scroll down for answer)...

..... white.

The 1990 Honda Civic | 250k Miles

2009-09-17T07:32:00.003-05:00

Although I keep it on the DL ("downlow") because of its VERY rough exterior, I bartered some design work with a client a few years back for their company car - a 1990 Honda Civic. I didn't think much of it at the time - I mean, it didn't really cost me anything BUT time - but as time went on, it started to amaze me about what an amazing piece of automotive technology that car is. Just last week, it went over the 250,000 mile mark.

Did I mention I barely put any maintenance or work into it? I've never had the oil changed since I've had it (it does burn a little, not bad); it's never had a tuneup. I've replaced the muffler, alternator and brake pads & rotors - that's it. Hell, it even got stolen once! After I got it back from the City of Chicago auto pound (also crooks, in my opinion, but that's another story), the only thing missing was the sun visors (!?!?!?!).

Unfortunately, although the engine & mechanicals are amazing, the body is quickly returning to its rusty roots, and I know I'll have to get a different ride soon. I guess I'm wondering what kind of vehicle could possibly match this little Honda for mileage, durability & low maintenance? Viva La 90 Honda Civic!

Digital Piracy Reality

2009-08-31T07:47:00.003-05:00

I have to note how stealing art (music) seems to be as nonchalant these days as buying a cup of coffee. Case in point: Someone recently called me to ask if I had a CD from our tribute band - some friend of theirs "wanted to burn a copy." Hmmm. No mention of "can he BUY a copy" whatsoever.

It's truly notable how people like that (just about everyone, really) have no inkling of how much time & money it cost to produce even a CD of cover tunes. It's really no different than someone saying "hey - I like that lawnmower you bought, I want to use it whenever I want, without paying you a dime." I wonder how THAT would go over? And so, here's what I think:

Anyone who is hoping to make money from digital content (music, movies, software) is out of touch with reality - there's simply no way to protect it. More, you can count on it being pirated/copied/downloaded almost from the minute it goes live. The ONLY company I'm aware of who figured out how to address that is Digidesign (Pro Tools). You can't run their program without having their hardware interface. So, although you can get the software anywhere, they know you have to buy at least SOMETHING to use their product (smart).

Creedence Again on WGN Morning News | August 13, 2009

2009-08-26T12:48:00.003-05:00

Here's more content from our appearance on WGN Morning News. Admittedly, we did not play "Midnight Special"on-air; however, as our version of the traditional classic is one of the better-produced tunes we have at this time, I thought it might be the best match for the sweet sweet photos by Dietrich Zeigler (on-site photog for the WGN show).

Creedence Again on WGN Morning News | August 13, 2009

2009-08-25T12:11:00.006-05:00

ALTHOUGH WGN MORNING NEW is far & away the best, most fun & most watched morning show in Chicago, I'm really wondering what the deal is with their online video clips? Specifically, compared to just about every other video you see online, their audio is WAAAYYYYYY quiet. You wonder if maybe the Tribune corporation got into some big contract with some company to handle that area, and then discovered there was a problem, but being a corporate giant, nobody wanted to admit a mistake was made (i.e., no culpability for career-smudging screwups), so they just keep limping along with what they've got?

Beyond that, they had a GREAT photographer (Deitrich Ziegler) shooting stills for their website; I'll be editing some video soon with his images. Here's the web-only version of us doing "Fortunate Son" (early in the morning). I think Richard Perez does an unbelievable version of the tune... and check out Montana taking his shirt off mid-tune. Hey, whatever gets the chicks coming around is fine with me (and the dudes always follow the chicks).

The Last Gunner Standing?

2009-08-25T09:25:00.008-05:00

The inimitable Steven Adler of Guns N Roses was here in Blue Island last week, for nearly a week; it's always good to see that boy. Although I was told he was here to record some tracks (he said he wants to knock out an EP of 4 - 5 new original tunes), they ended up not doing even one song (!?!?!?).

It's not hard to get him going about his favorite topic: A GNR reunion. The thing that got him going was when I told him I was betting on him as being "the last Gunner standing." Meaning: my money is on him to be the last surviving member of the original lineup. Why?

Well... with all the abuse he's put himself through (plus several admitted suicide attempts), he's still going strong -mostly. He's like a charming cockroach, only with great rhythm, millions of dollars and millions of fans. To be a great rock drummer - and he very much still is, it's great to watch him going through his chops - I believe that requires a lot of core strength. Not to mention having the stamina to keep all those other bigger-than-life Gunners in check onstage. And so... my GNR deadpool says Adler will be the last Gunner standing.

P.S. On another note... he didn't say this was confidential, so I'm mentioning it here: He just signed a book deal with Simon & Schuster, should be released sometime in 2010. Although he wanted to call it "No Bed Of Roses," the publishers went with the title "My Appetite For Destruction." GOOD LUCK BRO!

Woodstock 40th Anniversary Tribute Show

2009-08-05T20:46:00.004-05:00

I thought this was a dynamite idea when I was first contacted about it in early 2009 by Michael Stanard. Michael seems to wear many hats in Woodstock (Illinois), including owning Galt Airport. The airport is also used as an outdoor concert venue; the concept was to re-create the original Woodstock of 1969 with tribute bands. LOVE IT.

Unbeknownst to many, Creedence Clearwater Revival played at Woodstock, although somehow nobody bother to film them?!?!?!? Now, that is crazy - arguably one of the best American bands ever with more top-ten hits than even the Beatles, and the cameras ignore them?

Regardless, Creedence Again (our CCR tribute) is on the bill, and it should be a fun one. We're hearing about a 5-camera video shoot with jibs, HD cameras, multi-track audio recording, etc. We perform Saturday, August 15 around 4PM (?). And watch for our appearance on WGN Morning News the day before, between 8 - 9AM.

Dr. Andrea Orfanakis For Nashcab

2009-06-30T07:40:00.005-05:00

Be honest: If we didn't let you know what this woman does for a living, would you guess it on your own? I suppose it's part of our culture, where everyone & everything seems to need a label, and the preconceptions that go with that. Never mind that Andy (the featured customer) is one of the funniest, genuine, entertaining, camera-friendly natural talents you'll ever see - and maybe it shouldn't really matter what her job is? But we decided to bow to the world as it is for "credibility power," and include the fact that this is a doctor of medicine being featured in the testimonial piece. And by the way: I think NashCab does some sweet kitchens....

The Rock & Roll Kitchen® Live | December 2008

2009-06-16T16:34:00.007-05:00

Finally got around to editing some video from a private party we did last December at Chicago Recording Company (in Chicago - can you believe it?!?). The band features some of my very favorite, world-class musicians, who I hope you agree are also excellent performers. What you don't know is this: There was no soundcheck OR rehearsal for this one - everyone just got in cold & went at it. Professor John (a great singer & writer) does "Jambalaya" while Chef Joel Nickson of Wishbone Restaurants & I cook jambalaya in front of the band. Also features Tim Beattie, Chip Znuff, Dennis Webber, Tony Dale and Paul Coscino. Directed by Hank Neuberger, audio by Chris Shepard. Enjoy!

Interview With Hartley Peavey @ 2009 NAMM Show

2009-05-01T15:37:00.006-05:00

MEET HARTLEY PEAVEY, founder & owner of Peavey Electronics. As a long-time user & owner of Peavey products (just like thousands- if not millions - of other musicians), I was already very familiar with his products; I've used a tweed Blues Classic 50 with one 15" speaker for years.

What I didn't know was how funny & entertaining he was, how anti-corporate/conglomerate, and how charged up I got being around someone who's had such a huge influence on the music industry. Oh, and he digs Mexican food (truth is, I probably wouldn't have gotten the interview without handing over some Totally Chipotle products).

Baby Back Blues BBQ | Pulled Pork Label Design

2009-03-25T11:45:00.007-05:00

HERE'S THE FIRST RETAIL PRODUCT FOR BABY BACK BLUES BBQ THAT I KNOCKED OUT (yay). To me, packaging design for retail is high consumer art, very competitive, very hard to do well. By well I mean: stand out on shelves, get folks to pick it up and put it into their shopping carts - period. I actually think the designs on cereal boxes are THE most researched, focus-group heavy, expensively-researched-before-they-hit-the-market products on shelves. Package design ALWAYS takes longer than most people realize (just getting to this point was probably 6 revisions, not including the logo). As BBB is also slowly introducing their brand for retail, there isn't an overwhelming demand to begin with. As such, the first-run labels will be done on color laser prints and affixed by hand onto the vac pack pulled pork units (not exactly cost effective for mass production). When/if the demand increases, the co-packer will have to figure out how to automate that part of production - but that's a good problem to have, right?

At some point, I'm going to add something relative to this label (and every product vying for retail shelf space), regarding the Universal Code Council or GS1 (the organization which issues barcode accounts), which is truly nothing short of a monopoly. FYI, they lost a class-action law suit a few years back, which turned out quite well for those of us who created an account with them before 2000 (can you say "grandfathered in?").

Creedence Again | 5 Song Sampler

2009-03-19T15:23:00.003-05:00

Just got this one done (for the most part). It has to be said that while using Chicago Recording Company for a video shoot is like killing a cockroach with an atom bomb, it does convey a certain image that's over and beyond what other tributes would ever do for their recordings. Truth is, unless folks weren't always bugging us for CDs at these shows, we would never bother messing with re-doing these classics - I mean, you're only going to suffer by comparison, right?

And so, although this video is far from perfect (we recorded & taped everything in 2 hours), I think it gets across the idea of our somewhat unique approach to a tribute band: we're a sort of tribute. In other words: Since we definitely don't look anything like the original guys in CCR - especially John Fogerty - why bother trying? As long as we do justice to those timeless classics (I think we do); as long as we're entertaining (we definitely are); as long as we sound good (and I know we do, especially Rich Perez's vocals), I'd like to think that's enough for any true CCR fan.

The Ray Kroc of BBQ?

2009-03-07T12:24:00.008-06:00

Well, looks like it's finally here: I've always wanted to be involved with a small business owner who was ready to franchise their model on a national level, and although the same rules apply for any genre, I guess I always thought it would be something food-related. More, I've always felt that, if a business owner has a few key things buttoned down: financials, training, minimum number of years in business, efficient operations, etc., it's not that big a deal to replicate it. And I never agreed with anyone who said that a business needed more than 1 - 2 units in operation to start a franchise, either. I mean, if it's a long-running proven winner, isn't that proof enough to start cranking out copies of the original?

And so, thanks to Ken Faught of Baby Back Blues BBQ, it looks like this train is finally leaving the station, and soon. I'm happy to report that, starting with the video I produced for his website (which he and everybody else loves), he likes my style & vision, and is entrusting me to "build the new car" around his already smooth-running engine. That includes: New logo (above left, this is the first time it's gone "live" anywhere), website, retail product design/packaging, t-shirts, training videos, a commercial, new menu, etc. In other words, everything a business needs to start franchising and attract franchisees.

Of course, it's WAY to early to project how big, how quickly he'll grow, or how successful he'll be with this. But, paying close attention to all the signs for Ken and his brand (how many companies get invited to put products on the shelves of the huge corporate chains before there's even a product in existence?!?!? How many businesses have people bugging them nearly every day about being a franchise owner? And on and on and on and ON), I'm wondering just how charmed Mr. F and his brand could turn out to be? I know I'll do my damndest to help him get there quickly, with a minimum of hiccups...

Have You Ever Seen The Rain | Creedence Again

2009-03-03T08:10:00.003-06:00

Here's a condensed version of the CCR classic, taped last month at the legendary CRC (Chicago Recording Company). For the record, using CRC as a video shoot location is on the same level as using an atom bomb to kill a cockroach, but it's got a great look & staff, and we got a LOT done for a two-hour (total) session. Photos by Leigh Hanlon, and check out Rich Perez absolutely killing with his re-creation of the CCR-era John Fogerty.

Creedence Again At CRC

2009-02-22T22:01:00.004-06:00

CREEDENCE AGAIN BY LEIGH HANLON. Great shooter, better friend, thrilled he took some time to come shoot us at CRC in Chicago last week. Did I mention I took the shot he uses for his blog? (your best friends are the ones who choose not to share your best/darkest secrets - heh heh heh)

Rolling Stone's 100 Greatest Guitarists Of All Time

2009-02-15T18:13:00.007-06:00

I guess the fact that Rolling Stone magazine named Jerry Garcia the 13th best guitar player of all time means nothing to you. I'm sure you could play just as well as him quite easily.

I love this anonymous comment I got very shortly after posting my blog on dealing with Whole Foods, and how they remind me a bit of certain Deadheads - you know: All wrapped up in message of "peace & love," but with their actions being completely contrary to that (did I mention I LOVE messing with Deadheads, for that exact reason?) FYI, I'm guessing this comment came from some ex-girlfriend who never had any shortage of opinions about what I should or shouldn't be doing, but somehow never had the persistence or talent to actually do anything themselves creatively (isn't that the definition of a critic?). But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Maybe I also neglected to mention that I work in a busy Chicagoland recording studio, with many many talented musicians working or stopping by on a regular basis? More often than I'd like to admit, the house producer & bassist extraordinaire (Chip Znuff) dials up the Grateful Dead channel on the kitchen Sirius unit, where we're "treated" to seemingly never-ending live recordings of the Dead. Truth is, it's kind of like comic relief. Everytime a painfully out-of-tune song and/or vocal performance comes up (which is a lot), we just look at each other and say: Did I really just hear that? Damn. On a professional level, let's just say that if this studio - or any studio - were releasing product like that, they wouldn't be in business very long.

As far as the Rolling Stone's "100 Greatest Guitarists Of All Time" list: Let's just say that art & music is subjective, and comes down to opinion, which everyone of course is entitled to. For me, however, I also appreciate an opinion that actually has some thought & reasoning behind it - at least someone isn't just spewing out something they heard someone else say, or read somewhere. I'm also curious what their guidelines were for compiling this list (Speed? Taste? Innovation? Time? Feel?). I also notice they don't differentiate between musical genres of the players, like blues, jazz, classical, etc. If the title had been "Greatest ROCK Guitarists..." at least that narrows it down a bit. But since it doesn't do that, to me, their list is pretty much nonsensical, and smells of being put together by non-musicians. Hey, wouldn't that be fun - a top 100 list from professional guitarists. But maybe the Rolling Stone list was meant to create controversy & debate? Mission accomplished.

For starters, with all due respect to Jerry Garcia at #13 (for the record, I think he was a fine player, but for my money, the guitarist from Phish is even better), they list Kurt Cobain as #12. Huh? He & Nirvana were excellent (and I actually know Steve Albini, who worked with them), but Cobain was a singer/songwriter; not a guitar wiz.

Next... where the hell is Django Reinhardt on this list?!?!?!?! If you're talking speed, feel, time, taste, innovation - I've never heard anyone better than this breathtaking genius. Talk about lighting in a bottle. Every note counted; completely lyrical/memorable leads; impeccable rhythm chops; he didn't read a note of music (all self-taught). More, he did it all with a mangled left hand on the fingerboard (a 2-finger technique, actually), and managed to evade the Nazis too (he was a Gypsy). The recordings ain't great, but you can check him out (below). Hell, they even have annual festivals honoring the guy, both in the states and an open air event every May in his birth village Liberchies, a municipality of Pont-à-Celles, Belgium.

And what about some other amazing badasses they didn't bother mentioning: Chet Atkins, Leo Kottke, George Benson, Andres Segovia? Doc Watson? I dig Elliot Easton of the Cars a lot too - very tasty player with classic licks. Some might even throw Lindsey Buckingham of Fleetwood Mac in there - very adept player with tons of hits, too. Or how about Joe Satriani? This could go on for days.

Finally (underneatch the embedded video), I found a list of the original RS article, enhanced by some commentary from whoever posted that list (NOT ME!). Enjoy.

AGAIN: THIS IS NOT MY ARTICLE OR COMMENTARY.

1 Jimi Hendrix - Can't argue with this. Withrt, he could have been much greater.
2 Duane Allman of the Allman Brothers Band - Cetainly the greatest slide guitarist ever. Another career cut short.
3 B.B. King - I assume he's this high because of influence and what he accomplished in a long career. Technically, he's got the blues chops but doesn't really waver much from that.
4 Eric Clapton - I probably differ in opinion from many, but to me, Clapton peaked on Dekek and the Dominos and his solo records have been spotty at best. He was great for a time but never really blows me away.
5 Robert Johnson - Blues legend. Recordings aren't very listenable. Created so much but relatively unheard. I have trouble with this only because he really wasn't as good as many below him but without him, they wouldn't exist.
6 Chuck Berry - Should be no. 1 in my opinion. Created rock and roll guitar. People still try to copy his licks.
7 Stevie Ray Vaughan - Many people differ on Stevie. Some call him a Hendrix rip off. Either way, he was certainly a phenomonal guitar player.
8 Ry Cooder - Played so many different instruments and in so many different styles, it tends to water down his influence. Great player.
9 Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin - Always thought him a bit sloppy. Came up with great riffs and the Stairway solo is probably one of the greatest of all time.
10 Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones - Not sure about this. Great rhythm guitar player. Great song writer. Great guitar player? I'd put him around 25.
11 Kirk Hammett of Metallica - Some great stuff. Some crappy stuff. Would I put him this high? Probably not. Master of Puppets is a great guitar album though.
12 Kurt Cobain of Nirvana - No way. Yes he started grunge and alternate music. Was NOT a great guitar player. Wrote great songs. Should be around 50.
13 Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead - Never been a fan of the Dead so I feel that might unfairly lower my opinion of Jerry. I like some stuff but I've never listened to a Dead song and had the guitar work jump out at me.
14 Jeff Beck - Great player. Small amount of impressive recorded work. Besides Blow by Blow, not a lot of listenable stuff.
15 Carlos Santana - Very good. Impressive output. A bit repetitive in solo work. Great feel player.
16 Johnny Ramone of the Ramones - Started punk rock in America. Great player? Since any guitar player can learn a Ramones song in about 2 minutes, I would disagree. Influential but not great.
17 Jack White of the White Stripes - I have no idea why he is on the list at all let alone this high. The fact that Eddie Van Halen is at 70 and Jack White is 17 is a travesty. Rolling Stone has a huge bias towards this group.
18 John Frusciante of the Red Hot Chili Peppers - Good player. Fun licks. A little high but Rolling Stone had to put some names on here that some of their readers would recognize.
19 Richard Thompson - Good player that not alot of people have heard of. Hard to find his CDs as many are out of print.
20 James Burton - Country guitar picker. I haven't heard anything from him so I won't comment.
21 George Harrison - Way too high. Nice slide guitar player. Not a great guitarist.
22 Mike Bloomfield - Great blues player.
23 Warren Haynes - Joined the Allman Brothers in 1989. Nice player. A little high on the list.
24 The Edge of U2 - Hard for me to comment on Edge. Created a style of playing. Did some really nice stuff. Not a great solo player though.
25 Freddy King - Another early blues player.
26 Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine and Audioslave - Always thought every Rage song sounded exactly the same. Too high on the list.
27 Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits - Should be higher. Great style. Great solos. Amazing stuff.
28 Stephen Stills - Very good player. Doesn't show off a lot but has the chops. Some acoustic work is very complex.
29 Ron Asheton of the Stooges - Sigh. I guess he's here for the same reason the Johnny Ramone is here.
30 Buddy Guy - Great blues player.
31 Dick Dale - The King of Surf Guitar. Great player. One of the fastest ever.
32 John Cipollina of Quicksilver Messenger Service - Never heard any of their music. Can't comment.
33 & 34 Lee Ranaldo, Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth - Great at making feedback noises. Created a new guitar style.
35 John Fahey - Brilliant folk guitar player. Probably only about 10 guys on this list could even play his stuff.
36 Steve Cropper of Booker T. and the MG's - Played as a studio musician on countless records. Great solo player.
37 Bo Diddley - Blues innovator.
38 Peter Green of Fleetwood Mac - Haven't heard a lot of his stuff, but what I have was pretty good.
39 Brian May of Queen - Love his guitar work and sound. Amazing stuff. Should be way higher. Listen to the Sheer Heart Attack album (not the song) if you don't agree. Metalica even covered a song from it.
40 John Fogerty of Creedence Clearwater Revival - Swamp guitar at its finest.
41 Clarence White of the Byrds - Hard for me to pick out exactly what he played on the Byrds songs. Not sure about him.
42 Robert Fripp of King Crimson - Another group I never liked but he's obviously good.
43 Eddie Hazel of Funkadelic - Should be in the top 10. Equal to Hendrix.
44 Scotty Moore - Pioneer guitarist on many Elvis songs.
45 Frank Zappa - Should be in the top 10. Insane at 45. Half the guys above him couldn't play his stuff with a year of practice.
46 Les Paul - Most people only think of him as making the guitar. Was a great player also.
47 T-Bone Walker - Early blues player.
48 Joe Perry of Aerosmith - Some good stuff. Some stuff recorded while stoned and sounds horrible.
49 John McLaughlin - Influential jazz guitar player. Should be higher.
50 Pete Townshend - Created the windmill and some of the greatest guitar songs ever. Not a great soloist but should be higher.
51 Paul Kossoff of Free - Ok with this placement.
52 Lou Reed - I don't think even Lou Reed would put himself this high. Wrote some great songs though.
53 Mickey Baker - Early guitarist that played a lot of session work. Was on many big hits.
54 Jorma Kaukonen of Jefferson Airplane - Love Jorma. Brilliant player. Should be higher. Solo work and Hot Tuna stuff better than Airplane songs.
55 Ritchie Blackmore of Deep Purple - Great soloist.
56 Tom Verlaine of Television - I like his stuff alot, especially the Matthew Sweet Girlfriend album.
57 Roy Buchanan - Great blues player.
58 Dickey Betts - Held his own with Duane Allman, I think that counts for higher than 58.
59 & 60 Jonny Greenwood, Ed O'Brien of Radiohead - Here because the band is popular. I love Radiohead but not "greatest" guitar players.
61 Ike Turner - Not a fan.
62 Zoot Horn Rollo of the Magic Band - Played on Trout Mask replica. Not sure why here's on the list.
63 Danny Gatton - Virtuoso player, mostly rockabilly.
64 Mick Ronson - Played with Bowie and Ian Hunter. Not as well known as he should be.
65 Hubert Sumlin - Blues guitarist for Howlin' Wolf.
66 Vernon Reid of Living Colour - Really like his playing. Relatively short life span of the group affects his rating.
67 Link Wray - If you've seen a Quentin Tarantino movie, you've heard Link Wray.
68 Jerry Miller of Moby Grape - Moby Grape has some nice guitar work but I'd put 20 other guys on this list first.
69 Steve Howe of Yes - Should be way higher. Very complicated intricate guitar work.
70 Eddie Van Halen - Should be in the top 10. This is insane.
71 Lightnin' Hopkins - Early blues player.
72 Joni Mitchell - Very complicated player. Lots of strange tunings. Very melodic. Not a soloist though.
73 Trey Anastasio of Phish - I like Try a lot. Should be higher.
74 Johnny Winter - Should be in the top 20 or at least ahead of the other blues players. Great player.
75 Adam Jones of Tool - Like Tool's songs. Guitar never stood out to me. Guess i need to listen more closely.
76 Ali Farka Toure - West African player. Never heard of him. Can't comment.
77 Henry Vestine of Canned Heat - Uggh. Going to the Country is one of my all time least favorite songs. Maybe other stuff is good.
78 Robbie Robertson of the Band - Very underrated. Great "feel" guitarist. His guitar sounds searing on The Last Waltz. Should be higher.
79 Cliff Gallup of the Blue Caps - Played guitar for Gene Vincent (Bee Bop a Lula). Early impressive guitarist.
80 Robert Quine of the Voidoids - Also of Television. Like his work of Matthew Sweet's albums.
81 Derek Trucks - Nephew of Virgil. Competent player.
82 David Gilmour of Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb is one of the greatest solos ever. Should be way higher.
83 Neil Young - Not a great player but well known. I like his songs a lot but it doesn't make him one of the greatest 100 guitarists.
84 Eddie Cochran - Died early. Good pinoneer guitarist (Summertime Blues).
85 Randy Rhoads - Should be in the top 10. Amazing player. Died too young.
86 Tony Iommi of Black Sabbath - More of a riff player than known for solos. Probably why he's at 86.
87 Joan Jett - I have no idea why she's on this list. Where's Bonnie Raitt? She could play circles around Joan Jett. Looking good in leather pants gets you on the list I guess.
88 Dave Davies of the Kinks - I love the Kinks. Dave created some of the great early guitar styles.
89 D. Boon of the Minutemen - Haven't heard any of his stuff. Can't comment.
90 Glen Buxton of Alice Cooper - Very good player.
91 Robby Krieger of the Doors - Hate the Doors but respect Kreiger.
92 & 93 Fred "Sonic" Smith, Wayne Kramer of the MC5 - On here for one song - Kick Out The Jams.
94 Bert Jansch - Never heard his work.
95 Kevin Shields of My Bloody Valentine - Like Sonic Youth, the wall of distortion and sound. Not technically impressive.
96 Angus Young of AC/DC - He's better than you think.
97 Robert Randolph - Pedal Steel player. Have not heard him.
98 Leigh Stephens of Blue Cheer - ????
99 Greg Ginn of Black Flag - Good punk guitarist.
100 Kim Thayil of Soundgarden - Pretty good guitarist.

Whole Paycheck

2009-02-15T08:43:00.007-06:00

I was recently having a conversation with someone about Whole Foods. Or, as some folks I know call it, "Whole Paycheck." Truth is, having dealt with them as a vendor (I've had my Totally Chipotle products on their shelves) and as a performer (one suburban Chicago store wanted me to perform for a grand opening event recently), I have a completely different perspective of this company than what most of their customers probably do. And check out this article at Slate.com for another opinion.

Fact is, the Whole Foods staff culture kind of remind me of followers of the Grateful Dead - although I concede there's probably not so many drugs involved with WF. To me, beyond the GD "experience," the Dead's primary purpose these days is giving mediocre and beginning musicians hope: "Hey, I can play and sing as good as that!" Although I do like some of their studio efforts & tunes, as far as their live shows go: 1. They're rarely in tune 2. You pretty much HAVE to be high to enjoy musicians who play/sing out of tune and 3. They're definitely contrary to the notion that a song needs a beginning, middle and end to actually BE a song.

Whether or not you agree with these observations, it's interesting to experience the reaction from Deadheads if you DARE say this kind of stuff about the band. Beyond their outward philosophy of "peace, love, drugs, grooviness," I've had more than a few 'heads get downright violent defending them. I've truly felt things were leading to fisticuffs by stating my opinion to some fans (anyone else out there have a similar reaction?). Dealing with Whole Foods kind of reminds me of that.

In fairness, it's never really a treat dealing with any corporate grocery chain (lots of "little Hitler" egos, jaded/cynical buyers who know there are 100 products vying for 1 slot on their shelf, territorial store managers who hate their customers, but can only release it on vendors and in-store sampling clones, etc.). But I've found Whole Foods takes things to a whole new level, regardless of their hip, groovy, healthy, green, organic, "worldview" outward persona. Check it out:

Although they had gone so far as to list me on their posters, website, etc. for the grand opening of one of their surbuban stores, they never bothered to 1. Get me a contract or 2. Performance deposit - both of which are standard for pro performers. I guess I could have worked with them there, but two things that really made them memorable beyond the "typical" corporate chain experience:

1. Even though there was no sponsor or brand underwriting my show (I've done all kinds of shows highlighting sponsor's products in return for them footing the bill, no problem there), they refused to let me cook with my Totally Chipotle products. Did I mention I'd already had my stuff in their stores? And that I don't do any shows without at least one recipe featuring my brand?

2. They wanted me to carry my own insurance for performing in their store. Even though they wanted me to cook ONLY with their equipment, using products they already carry, under their roof?!?!?! That was, and is, a first-and-only in my experience as a professional entertainer.

Well, I can honestly say that, after having done all kinds of in-store appearances, festival dates, trade shows with big companies including Kraft Foods, Quaker Oats, X-Acto, Sunbeam, Dominick's, Jewel, Kroger and more, Whole Foods definitely takes the cake for being THE most difficult to deal with. Which finally resulted in me blowing off the gig altogether - I think that was a first for me, too.

Finally, I realize that putting this on the worldwide web may not be the wisest decision towards any possibility of dealing with Whole Paycheck again - hell, as long as it wasn't QUITE as bad as eating broken glass, I'd sell them my stuff again - but I hope to always be a least a LITTLE honest with how things really are in the food industry. Regardless of the price of being truthful - loss of income & being blackballed by a big, big corporate food chain.

The Texas Hippie Coalition On Jerry Springer

2009-02-11T16:11:00.009-06:00

I MET THE TEXAS HIPPIE COALITION AT ROCKLAHOMA 2008, and also for about 5 seconds at this year's NAMM Show in Anaheim. Also known as THC (ahem), they may look somewhat intimidating, but based on my short time with them - especially "Cowboy," their drummer who did some cooking with me - they seem like real nice lads, and very serious about their careers.

Beyond all that, I just found out they'll be in Chicago for a musical performance on "The Jerry Springer Show." And they'll also be stopping by 115 Bourbon Street on Chicago's southside to say hello, sit in (?) and do some cooking for The Rock & Roll Kitchen's Mardi Gras special on Feb 24. Wonder if they know any "food" songs? Or maybe some CCR?

CSNY Tribute Band

2009-02-03T22:51:00.002-06:00

For those in the "know," it's the 40th anniversary of the original Woodstock concert this year, and my CCR tribute band is getting some inquiries for themed events. NOTE: For whatever reason, no one filmed Creedence Clearwater Revival at Woodstock, so their performance there isn't so well-known as some of the other acts, such as Jimi Hendrix, The Who, Grateful Dead, Janis Joplin and many others.

Beyond that, I'm starting to meet other tributes involved with events which recreate the original Woodstock with tribute bands, which is starting to seem kind of cool, all of a sudden. One of the standouts to my ear & eye is a CSNY tribute from Crown Point, Indiana called "Marrekesh Express," and I think they're flat-out killer. They also have great chemistry amongst themselves, tribute band or not - I wonder how their songwriting skills are? Check 'em out:

2009 NAMM Show In Anaheim, CA

2009-01-26T14:48:00.004-06:00

For those who may have heard of the NAMM Show (National Association Of Music Merchants), they know it's pretty much the holy grail for musicians. Closed to the public, it's a huge deal featuring anything & everything related to music - including the musicians who play and endorse the products.

It was a last-minute decision for me to go, and it wasn't even the initial reason I was headed to L.A. in the first place - that's another story. But my hope & feeling is that some of the people I met & interviewed will open new doors, leading to fun & opportunities...

Select Outdoor Kitchens

2009-01-13T20:44:00.002-06:00

I met Mike Miller at Carmichael's Steakhouse in Chicago's West Loop at a Big Green Egg event. Mike saw a vacuum for decent-looking, all-weather rolling kitchen cabinets as a "nest" for ceramic grills. His stuff looks great... AND I WANT ONE!!!

Select Outdoor Kitchens | Chicago IL Nov 2008 from Rocknrollchef on Vimeo.

Illinois Dept Of Agriculture Food Show | Oct 2008

2009-01-11T08:47:00.003-06:00

Finally got approval on some video I produced as a barter with Larry Aldag at the Il Dept Of Agriculture. Long story short: As a food manufacturer (Totally Chipotle), I'm always hearing from them about participating in trade shows, buyer's missions, etc - but there's not a lot of content to give a clear picture of what's waiting there. And so... In return for a booth space at their show, I offered to produce a quickie video, to be featured on the Dept Of Ag website. Although it's admittedly not real fancy, I'm not sure if there's any other video on their site yet. Discuss....

Il Dept Of Agriculture Food Show | Oct 2008 from Rocknrollchef on Vimeo.