liquidwafflegirl

3rd Graders Plot to kill Teacher

2008-04-02T11:58:00.002-04:00

I recieved this text from a close friend yesterday: "Did you hear about the BD 3rd grade class in GA that plotted to kill their teacher? 9 students involved."

"Woah!- April fools?" I responded, thinking it was a cruel trick to pull.

"No! For real!"

I looked it up, it really happened. (Click on the title above to read a news article.) A class of special needs 3rd graders in Georgia came up with an elaborate plot to kill their teacher after she yelled at one of them. I have to say that this news really freaked me out, and while I'm currently writing about it, I am crossing my fingers that it doesn't get turned in to a huge national news story and give any other students ideas...

I could rant now for pages and pages about how things like this come to be, and what the teacher and administration should have and could have done; but the truth is, it scared me because while I am shocked to hear of this plot, I am not at all surprised. Our system is failing our children, and as a hard-working, dedicated BD teacher, I know that I am doing my best and that it simply is not enough.

A Cry For Help

2008-01-31T13:19:00.001-05:00

I confiscated this from E today during literacy. He misses a lot of school and today was his first day back in a while. He hates everything, but he's always hungry. He's always violent, says things a 11-year old shouldn't even know about, and generally smells really bad. This child needs a lot of help. He's reading on a 2nd grade level in 5th grade, and already hates the world. In the 2 months he's been in my class he's already been picked up by the police and brought to the precinct twice. I am really worried that if he doesn't get some serious help soon he'll never get better. His IEP was rewritten a few weeks ago. I suggested a more restrictive environment, more counseling (including individual and off-site) and a placement with more resources for an emotionally disturbed child, but it was denied. They say that the BD program I run is sufficient and the half hour group counseling session he refuses to attend weekly with all the same kids who tease him all week should help.

Rock, Paper, Scissors, SHOOT!

2008-01-23T11:53:00.001-05:00

I heard this yesterday at bus dismissal:

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

"bang. bang. You're dead. haha. I win."

(A new spin on an old game... we used to play it differently, I told them the rules though, hopefully they will stick.)

A Full Moon and a Bloody Skull

2008-01-22T15:22:00.000-05:00

I actually don't know if there is a full moon today, but judging by how it loooked last night, and by the way the school is out of whack today, it must be full.

We got another student today, number 11, and he is in 4th grade. My only 4th grader. Having a new kid made all of the other students excited to show him what they can get away with... which lead to an unpleasant sequence of events. For the most part I was able to keep the class under control. But it was E and K who really made things difficult.

They have a love/hate affair that is a little strange, but not all that uncommon amongst 11 year-old boys. They are constantly fighting, making up, laughing, telling "your Momma" jokes, and then fighting again. A couple months ago breaking up one of their love-quarrels I got hit in just the wrong way and fractured my thumb. Since then they have calmed down quite a bit (as neither of them had any intention of hurting anyone excluding themselves ofcourse), but today they started fighting and I realized that it was going to become physical. I called for security, and when the crisis teacher arrived she helped me tear the two apart. K, laughing through the whole thing wriggled out of my one-handed grasp, and punched E in the head. E then reached passed the crisis teacher, grabbed his hairbrush off his desk, and whapped K in the forhead. THUD!

K, in my arms started laughing hysterically until he saw the blood covering his right eye. That's when he got upset, stopped haughing, and tried to go after E. Luckily, when he was hit I got a better grasp of him and he wasn't able to get free. I grabbed his hand and slapped it over the open gash on his head. The crisis teacher was able to wrestle E out into the hall while I settled my class, held K's hand to his head, applying as much pressure as possible while assigning other students in my class to tasks,
J- get me some paper towels, put them in my left hand (I needed something to cover the wound with)
T- go to my desk, get my keys and call the office (I need a NURSE! NOW!)
C- go close the door to the classroom (so that E and K wouldn't be able to see one another)
N- take paper towel and cover the blood on the ground, make sure not to touch anything but the paper towels.

By the time the vice principal had arrived K had calmed somewhat and we were able to get him to the nurse and then to the emergency room. E was sent to the office for the rest of the day, but no consequences, no suspension. Once the problem left the room my students were so off-task that no work was completed the rest of the day, and my hand was a bloody mess. I still have blood on my pants, and my brace was tossed out because of the blood.

Oh what a day- I guess they showed the new kid what we're all about.

Behavior Logs- Student A Part 1

2008-01-15T12:46:00.000-05:00

Behavior Log: Student A

Week of 1.17.06 – 1.20.06

Monday 1.16.2006

• No School.

Tuesday 1.17.2006

• A was on her best behavior today. She got all of her work done in class, and was generally very respectful.

Wednesday 1.18.2006

• A was working very hard first thing in the morning. She got right to work, and completed her math message.
• 9:05am – A asked to go on the computer, and was upset when I responded that we had to get more work done before she could get time on the computer she was very upset but came to work with me at the circle-table. She began working on the math assignment, but began getting more and more upset (although I am not sure what triggered her behavior). She began to throw the math manipulatives into the box that they belong in. When I asked her to stop, and place the blocks into the box, she began to throw them from further distances, and continued in the fashion until she was standing up and throwing them across the room. At this, I told Amber that I would have to call security if she could not keep herself under control, but she only became more upset by this and started throwing blocks at another student, prompting him to follow suit, and then he also began throwing the blocks.
• 9:15am – Security came up to get A and the other student, but A refused to go. By this time she had thrown several blocks on top of the cabinets, and had even warned me that I had to “get out of her way” or she would be hitting me with them because I was in the path that she wanted to be throwing blocks in. The security guard that had to take out A's classmate sent for another security guard to come up and take A out of our room, and Amber did go with her.
• 10:45am – When A returned from the office she was very upset with me. She was short with me and extremely disrespectful. She yelled at me that I got her in trouble and repeated several times, “why do you always got to call security on me, huh, girl?”
• A did not do any work for most of the morning, but got back on task in the afternoon and did most of her work the rest of the day.

Thursday, 1.19.2006

• A had no major incidents today. She had a good day.

Friday 1.20.2006

(Note: this is A’s first day with a personal aide, Mr. J____ on the classroom. She knows Mr. J___ because he has been working in the school all year, and in previous years as well.)

• 8:35am – A was extremely loud this morning and would not get quiet during breakfast time. While she was talking I hear her repeat the phrase “sucking dick”. At this, I inquired into what she was talking about (rather than continue to ask her to stop talking and lower her voice), and she responded by asking me if I had ever seen the movie “Harold and Kumar go to White Castle”. At this I told A that it was not appropriate and that she needed to stop talking about the movie while she was at school, but she continued to be loud and talk about the sexually explicit scenes in the movie. She also got out of her seat and was running around the room. Eventually A calmed down and had a seat, and got to work.
• 9:45 am – A threatened another student in the classroom with a pair or scissors. All scissors were confiscated and put up. We explained to A the seriousness of her threat, and she seemed to calm down for a little while.
• 10:15 am – A and the same student whom she had threatened began arguing back and forth with one another and writing on each other with marker during a math project. The students in the class said that A did not start the argument, but A did cover the boys clothing with markered-on polka-dots, while being very upset. When security came to take the boy out of the classroom that she had been fighting with, he yelled back to A that she was a “football head”. At this, A got up, ran out in the hall, and threw a marker at him, and returned to the classroom much more calm than she had been during the incident.
• 11:30am – A Created a “dot-to-dot” with markers that spelled out “Fuck You”. When I saw what she was doing I told her that it was inappropriate and she quickly turned it over and explained that she was just making a dot-to-dot of her name, and spelled out her name on the back of the paper.

A Rainbow

2008-01-09T12:41:00.000-05:00

Driving to work this morning I saw a rainbow. Yes. A rainbow over Newark. Amazing. I feel like I had the chance to see a once in a life-time event.

I was observed again today. It went well.

A few weeks ago I broke my thumb breaking up a fight in my classroom, and I have a stomache ache that insists that I am going to keel over and die, but I saw a rainbow over Newark today, and I feel good about it.

wishin'

2007-09-18T19:44:00.000-04:00

I don't even have the energy to complain about how much this school year is bruising my self-esteem. I wish I loved my job. I wish I could just teach and be a good teacher. I wish that I could relate better to 5th graders and work with them in a way that got them excited to learn. Even more than all of that I wish that I wasn't so exhausted from wishing that I could do more to actually do more.

Wish me luck, and I'll give real updates soon.
5th grade is hard.

WHY ME?!

2007-09-03T21:42:00.000-04:00

I went in to school again the other day. As I walked into my principals office, the words I heard were, "Wipe that smile off your face Ms. G. You won't be grinning for long after you hear the news I just got."

Less than a week before the beginning of a new school year and my principal got e-mail... "We have made the decision to change the Behavior Disorders Program in the Newark Public Schools. Your school will no longer be hosting a 7th and 8th grade therapeutic ED/BD program. It has come to our attention that you had intended on Ms. G to teach that class but we will be placing her in a 4th and 5th grade ED/BD program which we will be moving to your school."

Yes, my principal got an e-mail that tells her that I have been assigned to teach the one thing that I absolutely DO NOT want to teach again!! The only reason that I decided that I could stay and teach another year was because they were changing the program and I was going to have the opportunity to teach a 7th/8th grade class. My principal fought for me... she showed me the e-mails, but it seems that no-one that actually has any contact with teachers or students makes the decisions that affect all of us.

I spoke with both my principal and VP and they both agreed that after observing me teach for the past 2 years that I am a much better teacher for upper grades, and that the places that I struggle the most and bring the most gain in my students has been with my youngest students... yet we have already filled all of the middle school positions, and there is nothing that they can do except place me in a 4th/5th ED/BD program. ARG! This is so frustrating.

I told my principal that I planned on contacting the Office of Special Education about this decision, and she encouraged me, but said, "Please, be professional"
A little confused I responded, "Of course, why wouldn't I be professional? I think that considering the circumstances you just presented me with I have handles this situation really well."
"Just don't use any expletives, okay?"
"What do you mean, I've held my tongue when I've been speaking with you," I reminded her.
"Well, you have, but even though a single curse hasn't come out of your mouth during this conversation, the only thing that I hear from you is a line of expletives. Just be careful when you write the e-mail. I think that you need to tell them how you feel, just be professional like you always are."

She was probably right... I might as well have been cursing. I am so frustrated with this decision, and the fact that no-one that knows anything about our school or our kids, teachers, or the way things ACTUALLY run makes the decisions. I do not shine as a 4th/5ht grade teacher! I know that I can do it. I can show up everyday to work and do my job and teach kids what they need to know from the core curriculum content standards, and try my best to keep their behavior under control. I know that this is something that I CAN DO. The thing is, ANYONE can just show up to work and do their job, I want to be able to go to work everyday and do something extraordinary. I want to do my job exceptionally well, and I want to be able to enjoy it. I don't want to have a bunch or 4th graders starting at me like they don't understand what's going on, because I just don't quite know how to communicate with 8 and 9 year-olds. AHHHH!!
I don't know if I can do this for another year. Tomorrow is the first teacher in-service of the year, and I get my 12 new 4th and 5th grade BD kids on Thursday... I think I might cry.

Starting yet another school year...

2007-08-21T10:03:00.001-04:00

So, here we go. I have spent the last couple days getting ready for school again. Last week I went to literacy workshops focused on how to make middle schoolers readers, and this week I have been setting up my classroom in preparation for the new school year. I will be switching things up a little this year, as I will have significantly older students, (7th and 8th grade), but I will still be teaching the BD classification.

As our school previously only housed students through 6th grade, a lot around the school and curriculum is changing. One such change is that all the other 7th and 8th grade classrooms got new furniture that is suitable for the age... but my room still has the 4th grade furniture that I was using last year. A little disheartening, but not at all surprising. My students would just ruin anything nice we were given anyway, right?

Although I am not excited to go back to teach another year, I am getting anxious to see a class list and see my students again. For many of them, this will be their 3rd consecutive year with me as their teacher. And even some of the 8th graders I might get could be students I had my first year teaching when they were in 6th grade... I guess only time will tell. Wish me luck!

I did it. Yesterday I signed my contract.

2007-06-21T17:39:00.000-04:00

The BIG Decision

2007-06-17T17:56:00.000-04:00

For those of you that have been looking out for me, emailing me, and giving advise, I really appreciate it... but I am getting down to the wire now and I don't know what to do. I have until WEDNESDAY to make a choice. The position that my school is offering me is for a 7th and 8th grade self-contained ED/BD class. This will be the first year that our school had opened up to 7th and 8th grades, so it is a brand new program, I will not get the same classroom aides, and I will have 4 of the same students (3 of whom I have had for the past 2 years as well). YIKES! I don't know what to do!

People keep saying, "you already know what you want to do, so just do it!" but the truth is, I thought that I knew what I wanted to do... when they offered me pre-k, i knew I didn't want it, then when they offered me 2nd grade, again, I knew I wasn't interested. When I thought that I was doing 4-6 Self-contained BD again, I had resigned myself to looking for a new job, but NOW, this is something completely different. The span is just 2 years, and 2 years where the gap really is very close as far as puberty, academics, social norms, etc. My whole mind has been spinning and I only have until Wed. to decide what i should do!!

HELP, please...

2nd Annual Carrot Day!

2007-06-08T13:01:00.000-04:00

So... that 3 day streak has extended itself into a few good weeks. This is a rare occurance, but things are going well... so well indeed that I allowed my students to celebrate their 2nd Annual Carrot Day.

This is an event that we have been looking forward to all year, so excitement has been buzzing all week. We started the day with plotting carrots onto ccordinate grids and figuring out the plot of each point of the carrot, from there we found the comparative and subjugative forms of adverbs in sentences relating to Ms. G winning the Carrot Competition, and once finished, we began the big eat-off.

We are on a break from eating carrots right now, so that the kids can attend their music class and go to lunch, but before they left, Ricky was in the lead at 8 full carrots in just over 1 hour. I on the other hand, have only eaten 4 and feel a little sick to my stomach, but I'm closer to the norm, tied with Jerry and just behind Tyler who has eaten 5 carrots. Nadia and Tay have both forfitted already, but all seem to still be enjoying this orange-themed day.

3 day streak...

2007-05-30T12:57:00.000-04:00

Amidst the sweltering heat of our 4th floor classroom, and the stinky pits of mostly adolescent boys, the Bad Wolves are currently into the third day of a streak of learning, curiosity, and fun. It seems that we have collectively gotten a "second wind" and the motivation and positive attitudes are overwhelming me.

This is a much needed break, as many of you probably know.... so cross your fingers for me. I am worried that I am cursing myself by even mentioning the classroom atmosphere.... but I just find it so amazing that the entire demeanor of a classroom can so drastically change in a short time. Even more amazing is the way that my student soak up knowledge when they let themselves. For the past 3 days, the "cool" thing to do is learn, and the only students who haven't enjoyed the past few days of school are the ones that refuse to think for themselves. With any luck, this positive class outlook will begin to rub off on those few before it diminishes.

Yesterday I had 4 parent logs go home that started like this "___________ had a phenominal morning, a positive attitude and was motivated to learn!" I love parent logs like that...

Discouraged...

2007-05-08T22:22:00.000-04:00

okay, I know I said good days, but ever since that post I have been holding out to write anything hoping that I was right, and that things were going to go as well as I had promised myself... but despite my best efforts, things aren't going well.

I have come to a point where I have almost certainly resigned myself to not teaching again next year. I am on board and committed to my students through the end of the year, but in the past few days I have decided that I am comprimising my mental health for my job, and while that can be maintained for the 2 year commitment that I signed up for when I took the position, I am not sure that I will be able to remain sane for a whole new year. I have tried everything that I know to do, taken reccomendations, changed everything I know how. I have even takedn a second job, which is the complete opposite of teaching, and while this occupies more of the time that I don't have, it also keeps my mind fresh and renewed from allowing myself to think about things that are not at all related to teaching. Still, being a 2nd year BD teacher is weighing down on me.

I don't mean to be discouraging, but I just feel that teaching has gotten to a point for me where I feel that I can't actaully impact the lives of my students in the ways that I need to in order to make a difference. By all of this, I do not mean to say that "giving up on teaching" is in any means an answer... but by the same recourse, I also cannot give up on my sanity before finding a job that will suite both me and the population that I serve.

Now I feel as though this is getting to be too deep of an entry for my mindset tonight, but for all of you out there, if you have words of wisdom, I am asking for them now. I need to ensure that I will at the very least make it through the school year.

Good days Ahead

2007-04-25T23:31:00.000-04:00

Back to good times.... for now.

Although my life is chaos right now, I must admit that the teaching thing is going pretty well for the time being. Corey Booker, Newark's mayor, is coming into our school next week to be our "Principal for a Day", so we have been having daily visits from our principal, just for good measure. So far, we have had nothing but compliments. My students have been working cooperatively with one another, responding to their behavior mods, and overall following classroom rules and procedures. This is something that we have only perfected in the morning however, and we continue to show out the bad behaviors in the afternoon, after lunch (which incidentally is when the mayor will be in the school), but I think that we have made some great strides since the break. Honestly, none of this has anything to do with the mayor coming to our school, but it just happens to correspond in such a way that makes it so that the principal is even getting the chance to observe "the bad kids" behaving positively.

Don't get me wrong... we still have our issues, and I am fairly certain that this thing we have going on right now won't last through the hot weather we have coming soon, but for now it is something that we all need.

Spring Break is Over...

2007-04-18T17:46:00.000-04:00

My kids were angels on Monday and Tuesday, and then today things flipped back again. I was hoping that the bliss of a new start after the break would help us to reconnect as a class, and Mon and Tues were promising... but today was 5 steps backwards.

We're back to threats again. One of my new students assured us all that he is going to "bring something in tomorrow to take care of all you all!" I am actually very nervous about it, and the administration did next to nothing... they're going to "check" him before school tomorrow, but my only fear is that after school might be too late. I can only immagine the things that are going through his heas to make it seem okay to do this sort of thing.

He saw a classmate with a switch blade in class, and then didn't see ramifications, because that stdent is now being home schooled, menaing that the only time my students see him anymore is when he's outside playing with his friends. Then there is the looming rumor in my room that Jerry sometimes carries a knife to school "just in case." I don't know if this is true or not, but to an extent, it doesn't matter, for the other students in the class it IS true. Then, ofcourse, there's TV, the community, and the news. I don't doubt that this student is already involved with gangs. He throws up signs left and right, talks "street" and has tremendous pride in repeating the word "bloods" whenever he's feeling perturbed. He's 9 years old. Then most recently there's the killings in Virginia. My kids heard about this, and that killer is getting so much media coverage he is like a legend already, and when my kids see that, all they can do is long for that sort of attention.

I also don't want to think about this anymore right now. I'm jst going to cross my fingers and trust that everything is going to be okay forever and ever. Anyone have any positive thoughts for me and my kids?

I told you so.

2007-03-30T22:43:00.000-04:00

I've been saying it for a year and a half now... if we don't do something about Ricky, he's going to put a kid in the hospital. I said those exact words as recently as this Monday infact, but no one listens to the teacher because no one else has any answers, and since avoiding problems usually works, that seems to be the tactic that has until today been taken with Ricky. Today, Ricky attacked a kid so bad that he had to be sent to the hospital.

Unprovolked, Ricky attacked a messenger from another class in the eye, repeatedly until I was able to pry them apart. I want to make it known that this is not the type of moment when I feel like screaming "I told you so!", but then I know that I've been telling the Child Study Team, the schools part-time psychologist, Rickys case manager, the administration and his parents for months that Jay was a danger, and then he brought a knife to school... and today, Ricky hurt a kid so bad he was sent to the hospital to get the skin around his eye sewn back on.

I am not going to add any commentary or anything... but I am posting the incident report that accompanied the attack... as always, I changed names, but all the events are the same. I guess I could talk about the situation for a long time, I have a lot of theories as to whhy Ricky did all of this so unprovolked...

Incident Report

Students involved: B.J.
Ricky

Date: March 30, 2007

Location: Room 4-- Time : 1:45pm

Reporting teacher: Ms. G----------

Incident:

Soon after lunch time there was a knock on the classroom door. I answered the door and let B.J. in the room to deliver a note from his teacher, Ms. J. J------. B.J. stood and waited for me to reply to the letter and began talking to one of my students, Tyler . At that time S------ made a comment to B.J. that I did not hear, but noticed that it upset him. My tudents were asking him about a fight that he had gotten into a few days prior. They wanted to hear the "details", but B.J. didn't want to talk about it. S----- and B.J. started to play fight, but not physically because they were not close enough. I asked S---- to be seated, but at that time he made a move as if to attack B.J. , and then the situation became more loud.

At this time, Ricky became very upset and stood up from his seat at the back of the room. He quickly ran towards B.J. , knocking over desks on his way. Ricky approached B.J. from behind, grabbing both of his shoulders and turning B.J.s body towards him, but B.J. automatically grabbed at Ricky, grasping at his shirt. At this point Ricky yelled "Get the fuck off my shirt, man" and started to physically attack B.J. Ricardo repeatedly punched Brandon in the head and face as Ms. C---- and I tried talked to the boys and tried to separate them.

B.J. was trying to cover his head at the same time as he refused to let go of Ricky’s shirt. It was as if B.J. froze, he seemed to be unable to let go of the shirt. However, Ricky refused to stop punching until B.J. would let go of him. I was standing behind Ricky, holding his shoulders, trying to keep him as far away from B.J. as possible, and although he was unable to make full contact with his punches, each time he swung he was hitting B.J. in the face and head.

I counted to three and called “break,” (a tactic I always use in my classroom to break up fights), but B.J. did not let go, so even though Ricky stopped punching for a few seconds, he continued once he saw that B.J. was not following the rules of a "break." Ricky began punching again, yelling for B.J. to let go of his shirt, repeatedly hitting B.J. in the right eye, because the rest of B.J.s face was mostly blocked by the way he was crouched holding himself as far away from Ricky as possible without letting go of his shirt. I was then able to pry Ricky’s shirt out of B.J’s hand, and as soon as Brandon felt that he had been "released," and he ran out of the classroom. I could see that B.J. had been seriously injured, as blood was already running into his hands as he covered his eye and ran down the hallway.

I worked to calm my class as they set the chairs straight. Ricky told the class that he was glad that he had punched him and wished that he had hurt him worse for pulling on his shirt and makin it wrinkled. Ricky then went right back to his seat to do his work, very casually, as if nothing had happened. When I asked him whey he attacked B.J. , he said that it was because he had pulled on his shirt, but then realized that the fight started before that and did not answer any other questions. I did not call security because I felt that anything that might have set Ricky off more would have put B.J. and possibly other children in the classroom in more danger. I instead waited for security to come to my room realizing that B.J. would return to his classroom and get help from there.

About 5 minutes after the end of the incident the building principal came to my classroom and pulled Ricky out.
_______________________________

Besides what is written there the only other information I have (that is not my long winded rants about behavior mods and discipline and theraputic programs that are needed but not in place, and the ways that we are putting young minority boys into situations where they will doubtlessly fail because we are setting them up for prison instead of productive life, etc...) is that the nurse called BJs mom to pick him up to take him straight to the ER. She said that she couldn't get the bleeding in his right eye to stop, and that she wasn't sure what they could do as far as sewing him up because it was all so close to his eye. As for Ricky, he had 3 cuts on his nuckles from punching, and his knuckles were about twice the size they should be from swelling, his middle knuckle was turning black and blue from hitting so hard. He had band-aides and an ice pack, and was extremely calm when I picked him up from the nurse to take him to his bus. Most of the incident he couldn't recall. I think that he "blacked out"... he has always said that when he gets angry all he can see is blackness.

Standardized Testing Take 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 4, & 5

2007-03-23T12:08:00.000-04:00

Today was the last day of NJASK... Finally! I was testing Mon-Wed of last week for my 6th grade students, and then all week this week for 4th grade and I am just HAPPY that if is finally over!

My students have been so stressed out, and so thrown off balance from all of this that I think even they are hoping for things to go back to normal. My 6th graders haven't seen me in the morning all week, and although I give them work that is aligned with our daily routines, we all know that it just hasn't been the same. We will all be very happy to get back to our regular schedules.

I guess that is all that I have to say for now. Yesterday I was so angry that I couldn't get myself to write about testing, and today I am trying not to get angry, so I think I will just end my ramblings here. (well, one more thing I guess, to end on a positive note...) I must admit that I was slightly less frustrated by the questions and the set-up for the 4th grade tests than I felt about the 6th grade NJASK, but I still think that high stakes tests can never tell us all the miraculous things that they need to in order to ensure that "no child is left behind"...

Manifestation Determination and more...

2007-03-15T21:51:00.000-04:00

This is an update about Jay...

Last Wednesday Jay was taken in hand-cuffs by the police down to the police station. There they decided that all charges were pending depending on the parent's next steps. His group therapist for whom he attends therapy 5 days a week, reccommended that he go directly to the ER. Mom followed through and Jay was admitted to the hospital where he had been until today when he was discharged.

The behavior analysis that was done of Jay diagnosed him as emotionally disturbed, ADHD, having post-tramatic stress disorder (PTSD), and having behavior disability.

I learned all of this at a Manifestation Determination meeting. These meetings are held anytime there is a student who needs to be suspended more than 2 times in a school year for a period exceeding 10 days. Jay had already been suspended twice this year, before the knife incident. It is assumed that anytime there is a student in a situation where they need to be suspended that much, they may be in the wrong setting, or their individualized education is being comprimised. I have been saying for months now that this is the wrong setting for Jay. He needs a more theraputic componant, with a more restrictive environment, year-round schooling, and possibly a personal aide. No one listened until now, until there was a serious possibility that someone was going to get hurt. I guess the good thing is that something is finally being done, and luckily no one did get hurt.

Anyway, at the Manifestation Determination I was able to officially request a new placement for Jay, that had the signatures of the case manager and his school psychologist from last year-- so basically that means that I had some backing behind my reccomendations.

During ths meeting I was paged to the main office by the principal. I let them know I was busy, but they still requested that I come down to speak with the principal immediately after the meeting was over. When I got down there she told me that she would be providing coverage for me for the afternoon and that I should be prepared to attend the Superintendants Hearing that would be happening to discuss and determine next steps regarding Jay's incident. This was a little shocking, but I did what I needed to do to prepare things for my students to have work to do without me in the afternoon, and then rushed over to attend the meeting.

[I did really good. I know my kids, their classifications, their IEPs in and out, (afterall, I am the main author of these IEPs) and so any question they had about anything having to do with Jay in school I had covered. After the meeting the Vice-Superintendant pulled me to the side to tell me that she was impressed with my handling of the meeting. My principal took the opportunity to show me off, "and she's only a second-year teacher" and I was then invited to a upcoming principals meeting with a focus on Special Education.]

Anyway, back to the important thing... Jay. It was determined that he was going to be suspended for an additional 5 days, during which time he will be admitted into school to do the standardized testing. I interviened at this time, saying that for his safety, and that of my other students, it may not be a good idea to put him back into my classroom this soon. Jay's mother agreed, and we made alternate arrangements for him to test at another of the public schools nearby. (I don't want to go on too much about this testing situation, because I think testing is stupid.) Then Jay has a 45 day interim education program. He has the option of attending a day-program provided by a hospital in Union, a nearby suburb of Newark, or to have in-home one-on-one instruction. After the 45 days, Jay's new IEP will take effect, and he should be placed into a new program that will better suit his needs.

I think those are pretty much all the updates I have about the Jay thing... I think most of my concerns were addressed in the Hearing. Jay's mom brought a legal advocate, which was a little intimidating. The advocate seemed to be attacking me left and right, but I felt reassured by the end of the meeting that I did do the right thing durint the incident, and also throughout the past year and a half when I have had Jay as a student. I was able to show that I have been following through wth all behavior modification plans, been in contact with his therapist, have reached out to his mother, and have put forth all efforts on my part to try to ensure the best environment for Jay.

Standardized Testing Take 1

2007-03-14T20:12:00.000-04:00

Today was the final day of NJASK6.

Monday went well, it was a 2 part literacy selection. The first segment was a persuasive writing piece, which I must say that my kids kicked ass on... then a reading selection- informational text followed by multiple choice and open-ended questions. My kids weren't rockin' that quite to the same extreme, but considering it was a 6th grade selection, and my students are performing at about a 3.5 grade level, they did pretty well, if I do say-so myself. Overall time testing was about 135 minutes, with one break in the middle. I was so proud I wanted to cry.

Tuesday began the excruciating painfulness of the testing experience... a 3 part literacy selection; first reading, then another persuasive writing piece, then reading again. Total testing time was 225 min with 2 breaks in between. HELL. The first reading piece went okay, again, their levels are much lower then the reading they are required to do, but overall they used the strategies they have been learning all year, and did their best. By the time they got to the writing prompt they had used up every last ounce of energy they had left on focusing to read something way over their heads and began to feel frustrated. Still, they did well, and wrote convincing essays to the hypothetical principal who is continually infringing on their rights. (Inevitably this is the topic of every persuasive writing piece any child in New Jersey is required to write for any and all state assessments.) Then, when we had to return to the reading selection, which was no doubt racist and slanted, they lost control. Jerry began peeling off tiny slivers of paper from his test book to ball up and throw at Ray. Of course Ray was so busy telling the new kid that his momma was a "crack-baby" that he couldn't figure out what kept hitting him in the back of the head. I ended up having to have the principal come up and help babysit for the last 50 minutes of that testing round.

[I have to put in just a quick blurb about the how unfair these test are... 1. my special ed students are asked to perform just as well as their regular ed peers on the same test, even though they are classified because they are unable to perform on grade-level. 2. These high-staked tests are long, and unbearable even for people with a lot of patience, like myself. 3. These tests are manufactured to put white suburban kids at an advantage, and I refuse to back down from that position. For example... in the reading piece about a mountain climber, when they described how the climber felt, there was a quote that read, "I'm psyched" and a footnote that described that "psyched" is a term used to describe a feeling of excitement. This was the only footnote used in the text. My students use the word "psyched" all the time. They are always "psyched" about something. However, my students have never seen a mountain. They have never been climbing, or even seen a climbing wall because they have never left Newark, NJ. My students have never seen a harness, or even heard of one, let alone a clamp or a caribeaner, or any other tool that is used for climbing, yet they are supposed to "infer from the text" what all those things are when the little white 6th grader sitting up in Suburban Elite White School gets a definition for the word "psyched"? The tests are unfair. 4. there are 10 billion better ways to test student growth and school achievement, but standardized testing is not one of them.]

Then there was today; the math section. 213 minutes worth of testing broken into 3 sections that get progressively harder. From the start my students were dragging. They were not happy about a third day of testing, and overwhelmingly aware that they had missed their specials classes (art, gym, etc) for 2 days now. Needless to say, they were very unhappy about the circumstances, couldn't focus on the test, and did not do their best. This was not because they didn't know how to do the math, or at least most of the math, but rather because they were stressed and frustrated, and tired of testing.

I hated today. I was so exhausted I wanted to cry. I am glad it is over. I am glad that I get to go back to teaching tomorrow rather than being a "chief examiner" for a test I don't believe in and happen to have moral qualms about. I am proud that my kids made it through these last few painful days, and even though I can honestly say they didn't do their best today, I think that I can also honestly say that considering what this testing is, they DID do their best for the unrealistic expectations put forth by the state.

I am a teacher that refuses to lower my expectations for my students, but when I set those expectations, I always set them making sure that I am not setting up my students to fail. I think that No Child Left Behind, and the States seriously need to think about what they are doing when they set forth unrealistic goals for students who could succeed if we would just give them the chance.

I have 2 days of being a teacher again and then I have to go back to "Chief examiner" for next week, when we will be testing Monday - Friday for NJASk4&5, so I will undoubtedly be back on this thing ranting about the horrible tests they force me to administer.

Jay's got a Knife

2007-03-07T16:25:00.000-05:00

Today started just like every other day this week- hell. I was late because the lady I drive to work in the mornings was late, so when she’s late to meet me, I’m late to get to work. Lucky for me, the snow caused everything to be running late, so the buses were, of course, late. As my students started trickling in, I could tell that the walk through Little Bricks last night to talk to Nadia’s grandma had been worth my time. She was going to have a good day. Tyler was going to do her best, Jack was going to need a little refocusing, Sean was a hellian and Ricky was not feeling well, and in his own words “just not in the mood.” Jerry didn’t show when his bus got here, and Tally wasn’t in yet either. Jay was, like usual, trying his hardest to have a conflict with anyone that would drop their guard just for a second.

I noticed immediately that Jay was up to something. He was acting sneaky. He was pulling our newest student Jack over to the side to make an ally. My aide noticed something was up to when Jack said to her “I’m not getting involved with all that,” but then refused to say what “all that” was. I saw Jay slide something into his desk, and huddled other students around him to show what was going on. At this point, I didn’t want to make too much of a fuss about anything, I needed to find out what was going on.

Without actually knowing what was happening, I started to write up the incident report. I didn’t know what was going on, but it didn’t feel right, Jay was disrupting the learning in the classroom, wouldn’t do his work, couldn’t stay seated, and wasn’t his usual talk-back self. He was a whisperer. Quiet and sly. As I sat at my desk, filling out the form when Ray quickly came to my desk, almost looking away from me and said in a low, timid voice, “Ms. G, Jay’s got a knife. I think he’s gonna’ use it,” and then walked away as if he hadn’t said a word. I knew immediately that Ray was right. I wrote it into the incident report, and tried my best to keep the rest of the class calm. By this point most of them had seen the weapon, and now that Jay knew he was busted, all he was focused on was finding out who the “snitch” was. He walked around the room cursing at all the new students, he yelled at Nadia, “I’m gonna’ put you in stitches, just like them bitches!” I told my aide what was going on and had her walk Jay to the main office.

When they were gone my students started talking. Jay also had a fake gun (very realistic) in his desk. He told the others that he brought it to threaten Jerry. I was just thankful that Jerry wasn’t here today. I had the fake gun sent to the office. The police came and searched Jay to find that he not only had the fake gun, but he also had a 5 inch switch blade open in his pants pocket, and an empty clip from a real pistol. The police arrested him, took him out to their car in handcuffs. The most the school can do apparently is a 4 day suspension. (This can't actually be possible, right? Four days is just enough time to stew over the events that happened and want to really hurt someone...)

They will probably have a hearing to see what else they can do, because through the whole thing Jay was threatening people, and continued to say that he was just trying to protect himself. Jay’s mom said that the blade came from her fiancé, and that last night it was on the bed, and then they couldn’t find it this morning. Since Jay claimed that Jerry had been the one he was after, and then continued to insist that he Jerry had threatened him first, he will be searched each morning before he is admitted to class.

That's all I have to say right now...

I hate my job...

2007-03-05T22:59:00.000-05:00

Incase any of you were wondering... I hate my job. I hate that I have a practically new set of kids and almost nothing to work with. I hate that my students don't want to learn anymore, and I hate all the bueracratic BS that makes it so that all the BD kids in the district are being shuffled into my classroom at the same time. I hate that I had an observation today, and that I didn't get to teach any of my academic lessons because behavior was so bad. I hate that I have to send home nightly behavior reports, and I hate myself for not having the energy to call parents tonight.

I hate that I don't feel stable enough to get my life back in control, and that I am getting myself so upset about school that I haven't really been dealing with my personal issues for the past few months. Mostly though, today I just hate my job.

New Students

2007-02-28T17:18:00.000-05:00

They keep sending me new kids. It's 2 weeks away from standardized testing, and they just keep plopping them in my room. I officially have 9 students now, and by law I top off at 10 as a teacher of BD students. Two weeks ago I got a new student, last Friday I got another one, and I was told yesterday by a BD teacher at another Newark school that he just signed all the paperwork to send another kid to me.

My new ones are:

Sean, a 4th grader who is much smaller than all of my other students, but has the best social skills of any of my kids.

Then there's Nadia, another 4th grader, and a GIRL! My students don't have a lot of interactions with female students, and don't generally know how to handle those interactions when they do happen... so she's already caused a huge stir in the room, besides that puts her in competition with the only other girl in my classroom, Tyler.

And tomorrow, it is rumored that I will be getting a 6th grade boy who has been home-schooled by his Aunt for the past 6 months because he had too many conflicts to keep him in a classroom. I try my best not to be swayed by what I hear before a student arrives, but I hear what I hear.

I do not have any IEPs for my new students, nor any other pertinent information.

My room is starting to fall apart already with the two new students. Tuesday was my first REALLY bad day in a long time, and today was a staff development day, but I just hope that I can get my classroom management together enough to allow these changes to move my students forward, rather than shove them behind.

New students lead to new challenges, and I have a lot of them ahead of me.

a girl

2007-02-26T17:55:00.000-05:00

Bad Wolves have another new student. She is girl #2 in the classroom, and that is causing some major disruption. My students are so used to being a class of "all boys", but now Nadia has infiltrated.

(I just found this draft in my queue of posts... and it already reminds me of some of the trends I've seen in my classroom this year, so i thought that i would post it so that later I can give an update and remind myself of this trend.)

De Colores

2007-02-21T23:40:00.000-05:00

Jerry said "you teachers are always trying to make things colorful and make us draw pictures because you think that us special ed kids are stupid or something." in September of this school year. I had Jerry all last year for 5th grade, and he returned to me this year as a 6th grader. This is a direct quote too, because I was so intrigued that I wrote it down immediately.

I tried to explain to Jerry, and the rest of the class that I do use bright colors intentionally, but that it is actually because I think that they are VERY smart, and I think that the bright colors help them to recall information, and they can use the colors as parts of strategies for remembering and learning new things. I also explained that pictures are a really good tool to use, especially in math.

Jerry, at the time, didn't buy into it. He insisted that I thought he and his classmates were stupid.

Today I heard Jerry, (who has taken it upon himself to show our new student, a 4th grader, how things work in Bad Wolf Territory) explained that the colors around the room are coordinated to subject area, and that can help to remember what folder to look in if you get stuck on a problem on the exit ticket. Jerry explained that every day I put up 2 math problems (we have notes on that in the Red folders), then 2 literacy questions (in the blue section of the room), and then one question that will be either social studies (yellow) or science (green). Jerry described it so matter-of-factly. I could tell that he was using some of the strategies that I have been trying to teach all year.

I realize that this seems like a very simple thing to understand, but really the idea that we use color-coded binders and folders is something that has taken a long time to embed in my students. Occasionally I will still find a blue literacy notebook thrown in the red bin with the math work. The color-systems create structures for my students that they can begin to understand, and then hopefully use for categorizing their lives and their thinking.

Sometimes I hear them referring to things by the colors I use, for example, Rick was trying to remember the definition of "physics" and when Jay suggested the wrong answer, Rick said, "no, that's not right, it's the one that she wrote up in green." Brilliant, I thought.