FibDems

Job Done!

2007-10-15T18:37:00.000Z

Mission (nearly) accomplished

Spot the Difference

2007-09-23T11:46:00.000Z

"The Scottish Liberal Democrats are a Unionist Party, and the Scottish Parliament has a clear Unionist majority."

Nicol Stephen the FibNat:

"We want a stronger Scottish Parliament; a Parliament with revenue raising responsibilities, with the greater powers needed to build the Scottish economy and boost Scottish jobs. We can't go on with a Parliament that just spends money given to it by another government."

Clear as mud then.

Harvey Two Face was pleased at how his new job as Nicol's spin doctor was playing

Still going down the toilet

2007-09-23T11:38:00.000Z

Just when Ming thought he had escaped talk of leadership worries up pops John Farquhar Munro to stick another knife in:

LIBERAL DEMOCRAT leader Menzies Campbell has suffered another challenge to his authority after one of his party's MSPs said he should be replaced by Charles Kennedy.

John Farquhar Munro, MSP for Ross, Skye and Inverness West, said Campbell had not been a success as leader as he was "not a good people person". He added that he would sign Kennedy's nomination papers today if asked to.

And more.

Asked if he now believed Kennedy should replace Campbell, Munro said: "Yes I do, but after the next election," adding: "However, I would sign his nomination papers now, if he wanted it."

On the differences between the two Scottish LibDem MPs, he said: "Charles seemed to attract the electorate, but Ming is different. The main difference is not policy or promotion of policy, it's PR. Ming is not a good PR man, he is not a good people person."

Asked if he thought Campbell had been a success as leader, he said: "No, I don't think so. I don't think he has been the sort of enthusiastic, firebrand leader that we have needed at this time."

John was so desperate to get rid of Ming he even signed Charlie's nomination papers in Gaelic...Swahili, French, German, Dutch...

Constructive Xenophobia?

2007-09-22T15:32:00.000Z

When Tim Reid wrote this did he fall asleep and dream Ming Campbell made a barn stormer speech? Because I certainly did when I started listening to it. Well fall asleep that is. I actually dreamt about being attacked by rubber bar charts and woke up in a cold sweat.

But never mind all that. Tim does provide us with some interesting information that recalls the heady days of Fib Dem arrogance when they thought calling others xenophobes and anti-English would win them votes.

It's all a bit undermined when you read this section:

"It makes you wonder why we bother coming down to these English conferences at all," one Scottish delegate moaned.

And given that the leader's chief of staff, Ed Davey, described anywhere outside London, including Edinburgh, as "the sticks" fewer may bother making the trip next year.

Ah, so those nice Scottish Fibs don't actually like their English compatriots and refer to their British conference as 'English' and their English compatriots view them as yokels.

But with the FibDems being FibNats it wouldn't be like them if they didn't practice a bit of Fiberal Unionism as well just so they could keep their end up in that direction. As Tim writes:

But after Sir Ming's apparent contempt for what he describes as the 'cosy consensus' between Labour and the Tories, one that he insists the Lib Dems are going to fight against, some were left wondering what that made their talks in Scotland.

The Lib Dems say there is an important distinction. The talks between Nicol Stephen, Wendy Alexander and Annabel Goldie are based on "constructive co- operation" apparently rather than cosy consensus, they say.

Hmmmm, yes. I believe that is being called "caught out" once again.

Liberal Democrats - Lying Failures

2007-09-19T13:44:00.000Z

The conference just keeps on getting worse for Ming Campbell. Channel four’s fact checker gave one of their worst ratings ever, after looking over Ming’s claim that their tax policy would help 90% of households. After examining their outrageous and absurd proposals Channel Four said:

There just isn't the evidence to back it up - and with the IFS, the country's most respected independent financial thinktank, unable to see how the necessary calculations could be done - there isn't likely to be any time soon.

Well it looks like the Liberal Democrats have been caught in the act again.

Calculators have never proved a popular item at LibDem conferences

Ming: I'm a failure

2007-09-18T10:25:00.000Z

Ol’Squealer was happily snoozing through the recess when he was rudely awakened by Ming Campbell imploding in grand fashion at the Fib’s annual conference in Brighton. So loud was the commotion it was covered here, here, here, here and pretty much everywhere – Squealer gave up counting the articles.

The cause of the commotion – Ming hilariously confirming what we already know – he is a failure. It was just better to hear him say it for himself. Even Kennedy was keen to get a boot in when:

Asked if he thought conditions were "harder" today than when he was leader and the party was doing better in the polls, he said: "No, I don't think so. There's nothing that has come as a surprise. It is nothing that should be fazing us at the moment."

Ouch – and to continue the gaffes the Ming confused Italy, with India and the conference staff spelt his name "Sir Menzeis Campbell”.

Squealer honestly, in his wildest dreams, could not imagine a better Lib Dem conference. And to top it all off – Ming gets this picture taken…

Ming showed us his political future

Liberal Democrats - A party of the people, for the people?

2007-08-30T11:23:00.000Z

Squealer snorted again with delight this morning after reading what the leader of Edinburgh City Council wants to do to separate her from the ‘hoi polloi’. Finally the truth from the Fibs about what they really think of the citizenry (or subjects?). Jenny Dawe, the leader of Edinburgh City Council, and a Liberal Democrat (Aristocrat?) said, "…there are important civic occasions when I feel it would be important to set us apart from the hoi polloi".

As a part of the hoi polloi Squealer is as disgusted as everyone else by this rare truthful admission from the Fib Dems. Apparently to the Lib Dems some animals are more equal than others.

Naturally and rightfully this has sparked outrage – the Fibs want to play expensive dressing up while they close schools all over Edinburgh.

Jenny realised that these corsages were not enough to seperate her from the Hoi Polloi

Fightin Fibs!

2007-08-29T13:21:00.000Z

It has been a long and lazy summer for Squealer. However since recent events, being so cleverly predicted by the pundits on these pages, have started to come to fruition, comment must be made.

It looks like the knives are out, yet again, for both leaders of the Fibs. First for ol’Ming and more pertinently for Scotland, Nicol ‘who’ Stephen. It seems that Charles Kennedy won’t quell rumours of his return and Marilyne MacLaren who is presiding over the closure of many schools in Edinburgh, is keen for Nicol to go and Ravishing Tavishing Scott to take over.

This may come as a surprise to some, but not to us, as we reported these not so hidden tensions long ago. If they think the summer was bad, Squealer suggests it may be the winter of their discontent as well.

Ms MacLaren was less than overjoyed at prospects for the upcoming winter

Whoops! Another Fine!

2007-07-25T15:24:00.000Z

Ohhhh man.....It has been awhile for Squealer. But he had to get back into the game when he saw this screamer that came across the wire. Looks like the Fibs are going to have to another fine, as we reported earlier. The incompetence. The shame.

Looks like they failed to get their books in order. Didn't get their accounts in to the Electoral Commission in time.

Oh My Lord!

2007-07-02T13:06:00.000Z

According to this report in the Telegraph it would appear that a FibDem Lord has actually woken up to the true nature of his party:

Sir Menzies Campbell is facing a leadership challenge within weeks of taking his party to a record low in the polls and entering into talks with Gordon Brown.

A group of Liberal Democrat MPs and peers have resolved to call for Sir Menzies to stand down this month if the party finishes in third place in two forthcoming by-elections, The Sunday Telegraph can reveal.

Sir Menzies has been struggling to maintain his authority for months amid rising unhappiness over his poor public performances and lack of impact in the opinion polls. Tensions in the party boiled over at a private meeting of the party at Westminster last week at which one senior Lib Dem peer openly called him a "liar" for failing to inform the party of his talks with Mr Brown.

"There is now outright rebellion," one senior Lib Dem said. "We are absolutely livid."

Livid at being found out no doubt but old Porridge is intrigued as to the identity of the senior Lib Dem peer. Anyone know?

"A liar" - Senior Lib Dem peer

And they're off!!!

2007-07-02T12:42:00.000Z

An appalling smear on our favourite party from Iain Dale. It would appear the Tories are alleging that the Fibs are offering cash prizes to people who put up their posters.

It beggars belief that the FibDems would act in such a manner.

As any fool knows it's sweeties they hand out as prizes.

At £50 a poster and a rather large repayment to make Ming was desperately trying to ignore the angry claims coming in

In these troubled times

2007-07-01T19:38:00.000Z

Old Porridge has recieved an e-mail from a reader which questions the moral focus of those "nice" LibDems.

Whilst we have:

Two rudimentary car bombs found in London

An attack at Glasgow airport

The threat level raised to critical

Arrests in Liverpool and Newcastle-under-Lyme

A controlled explosion in a hospital car park

What are the LibDems blogging about most?

By-election tittle tattle and their usual character assasinations of opponents in the Ealing Southall by-election. (Which is itself telling since they are claiming the Tories have no chance - frightened of them are we chaps?)

Just look at their posts on LibDem Voice and LibDem Blogs and the times they have been posted.

Since the London incidents all we have had on LibDem Voice has been four posts, THREE of which are about the by-election and one about a conference. Their by-election ones have been the usual spurious claims of "winning here" and attacking or maligning opponents. No positive reasons to vote LibDem.

Meanwhile on LibDem Blogs we get a flavour of what LibDems think are the most important issues since the current attacks. Yes, you've guessed it. The Ealing Southall by-election.

Out of 78 blog posts their favourite subject has 11 posts at 5:47pm, 2:34pm, 12:12pm, 12:00pm, 11:34am on Sunday and 10:27pm, 9:56pm, 8:22pm, 7:58pm, 6:17pm and 12:06pm on the Saturday. Only one refers to the London bombings and the rest are generally locally focussed.

It is often said the LibDems are a bit weird and obsessed with by-elections but this litany of blogging exposes that weird obsession as ranging on the immoral. It seems winning by-elections by using fraudulent and dubious messages is more important to them than national security.

I'm sure the London voters of Ealing Southall will be less than confident that this is a party with their security interests at heart rather than just grubbing their votes once this obsession is pointed out to them.

After all even one of LibDem Voice's posters has realised what impression this obsession will give:

H-Lad Says: July 1st, 2007 at 3:22 pm

Please stop this!!!!! If you want the Tories trawling through every LibDem blog and what every LibDem “activist” or “member” says up and down the country then this is thr right way to go about it. And I bet you we’ve said worse things … What is wrong with the LDV team at the moment - wrong judgement lads.

Quite right H-Lad but the cat's out the bag already. Your party's "immoral focus" is exposed by your own members blogging record.

Rattled!

2007-06-27T13:35:00.000Z

Another bummer for Ming. Just as he comes out ~~pompously~~ rattling in vain attempt to explain how marginalised his party has meant to be a poll confirms why they are now both marginalised and rattled.

It may also have not been a good choice of words to use the one "cages" considering which party has a major donor in the clink.

Ming was ecstatic at the news of Gordon Brown's arrival and his new poll ratings

And another thing

2007-06-22T14:50:00.001Z

Beau Bo D'Or has a nice line on the Fibs discomfiture entitled 'Gordon Brown - Bad Ol’ Putty Tat':

The Pain! The Pain!

2007-06-22T13:57:00.000Z

What a blinder Gordon Brown has played on the Fibs. Obviously knowing their capacity to seek office over principle (what principle you ask?), he sets them up by making an offer, which have been the stuff of rumour and speculation for some time, then gets it splattered across the pages of the press, which is then followed by furious ~~Fibbing~~ denials which then turn out to be true and even truer. The resultant fury from the Fibs is quite enjoyable as they know this very public airing of back room deals will on the one hand annoy their anti-Labour voters and whilst making them look like sneaks who will do anything for power. Meanwhile Gordon twists the knife a bit more by looking ever so reasonable.

And all at a time when Ming's electoral value crashes and burns.

The upshot is a very enjoyable avalanche of much gnashing of teeth and soor plooms from the Found-Out-FibDems here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Even Old Porridge has to say that the soon-to-be PM has played this brilliantly as his overtures have obviously convinced the Fibs to stay out of power in Scotland and Wales just before he releases the hares on his overtures.

Hear the one about the FibDems getting a taste of their own medicine?

Elderly Scots

2007-06-21T14:05:00.000Z

Iain Dale has a great post giving a synopsis of the whole fiasco over the Fibs being 'offered' Cabinet posts by Brown. I really can't believe Ming took the bait. We have been following his idiocy for quite some time but this is really something else. He has totally lost the plot. The Tories really must be over the moon.

Simon Hughes excitedly pointed to his new seat across the floor

HMS MORON

2007-06-20T14:29:00.000Z

A TRADE union leader has accused MP Willie Rennie of “scaremongering” following comments he made about Rosyth dockyard.

Oh no Willie. Read the whole article if you want a good laugh. Wil-lie as the Union offical correctly points out is actually on the defence committee and still doesn't know what's up. But it isn't ignorance, its pure spin. But we all know the Wil-lie never plays politics in the defence sector.

Willie's annoucement that the lego aircraft carrier fleet would provide over 4 jobs was met with silence

Mark Webster – Mission Impossible

2007-06-06T12:10:00.000Z

It now seems that the Fib’s want to put some ‘zing into Ming’. My goodness. After a little hiatus Squealer returns to this madness. We all know how well Ming did in England and Scotland in the last elections. Whoops….I suppose there was a secret phase - phase 1.5 with the mission statement "We must make Ming and the party appear rudderless, stagnant, not a real party in the running and even if we are lucky to actually go backwards and lose seats."

So far it is all going to plan.

Good luck Mark!

Mark was all smiles until he realised he actually had to accomplish phase 2

Ming Must Go!

2007-05-16T11:09:00.000Z

Ming has had a bad year, a terrible month and a god-awful last two weeks. The Times today reveals that Ming is even hated in his own party! 54% of LibDem voters want him to go. Ouch!

Clearly their disastrous result in the Scottish Parliament Election is finally coming home to roost.

Of course we here at Fib’s have been following his downfall for quite some time. The knives are out again – Squealer cannot contain his joy!

The 'Say No to Ming' Rally was very well attended by the FibDem faithful

Poll update v2

2007-05-14T10:46:00.000Z

Just a quick little note from Squealer. On our poll of who is the most ridiculous FibDem in Scotland, please don’t vote for Euan Robson, he got the boot from Roxburgh and Berwickshire. Well actually, feel free to keep voting. You can see how is campaign is going here.

Also readers will be happy to know that wrong day Crockart was also unsuccessful in his bid to take Edinburgh North and Leith. His dodgy bar-chart didn't quite make the grade.

Ming Must Stay!

2007-05-12T15:22:00.000Z

He does after all provide us with this description of last Thursday's result as a 'mixed bag'.

Obviously this bag of sweeties didn't have Wurther's Old Original as a look at the results shows:

In Wales they achieved an enormous swing which saw their representation increase from 6 to a mind boggingly humumgous 6.

England was even better as they stormed to losing 246 council seats in a night of ecstatic celebration.And in Scotland they overtook all expectations by becoming the (fourth) largest party by increasing their overall total by minus 1 seat.

Maybe Ming was referring to Scotland when he referred to the results as a 'mixed bag' - a 'mixed bag' of target seats for all the other parties.

Old Porridge does take some delight in seeing the seat at the core of Michael Moore's constituency shape up to be a Tory gain next time round. One wonders when Michael will realise that being Ming's former chief of staff and current foreign affairs spokesperson may not be that rewarding, particularly since the council took on a brighter shade of blue.

The swing to the Nats in Argyll must have Mr Alan Reid wondering if he can airbrush out all mentions of that nice Mr Lyon from future leaflets. But since the council has gone semi-yellow and shut out the Fibs it may not leave the best impression of a party in decline.

Finally our old favourite Jo Swinson looks a dead cert for the chop as her core seat of Strathkelvin and Bearsden saw Labour not only take the prize but the Fibs crash to FIFTH place! They also lost control of the council in spectacular fashion.

Maybe Messers Reid and Moore and Miss Swinson will read the runes about Ming but the signs are that the party is in denial. Leaving them to regret not dusting off their CV's now.

Ming had suddenly become less keen on using bar charts

Fibbing in Aberdeen

2007-05-01T20:00:00.000Z

The Aberdeen Leader is the Fib Dem newspaper for Aberdeen Central, an oxymoronic title if ever there were one given the Fibs' dismal third place finish in 2003.

On the back page of the paper is a small piece endorsing the Lib Dem candidate, one Councillor John Stewart, who just so happens to also be the council candidate for George Street/Harbour.

This raises the interesting prospect of him earning close to £70,000 to do both jobs part time if elected, which I am sure the hard working taxpayers of Aberdeen would be delighted about.

Anyway, the piece endorsing him is a soundbite from one Matthew Maguire, an Aberdeen resident.

When one looks at the bottom of the paper, where the tiny print reveals the location of the printer and the name of the election agent, one discovers that Mr Stewart's election agent is a certain Matthew Maguire...shurely shome mishtake?

Also, as we previously reported in Edinburgh North & Leith, the paper is printed in Peterborough, which slightly undermines the Liberals' "Green Pledges" which feature prominently inside.

LibDem’s in Edinburgh, “We’re Lying Here!”

2007-04-26T11:38:00.000Z

I’m sure loyal readers will remember us highlighting enivro-ruining, wrong-polling-day Mike Crockart, FibDem candidate for Edinburgh North and Leith. He is continuing his duping of the voters, (this time to his benefit) with a classic FibDem ‘bar chart’. This has been raised many times elsewhere, the old “using the last election as an example” trick even though that is CLEARLY MISLEADING THE VOTER as it refers to a Westminster election not a Scottish Parliament election. The Scotsman yesterday said:

“The Lib Dems' election literature also uses a bar chart showing them just five per cent behind Labour. It is labelled "The result here last time" without explaining that means the Westminster rather than Holyrood election.”

Classic duplicitous lying fibbery from the Liberal Democrats. Hopefully the voters expose him for what he really is.

Mike insisted that this was an accurate chart

Nicol 'who' Stephen™

2007-04-24T09:21:00.000Z

Squealer is pleased that the FibDem coined phrase Nicol ‘Who’ Stephen is finally getting the recognition it deserves, as seen in the Sunday Herald. It would appear that Iain MacWhirter is a regular reader.

The Police were convinced that Nicol was in line up.

It’s A Capitally Rubbish Idea!

2007-04-22T09:51:00.000Z

For all their claims to be green, the LibDems want to turn beautiful Edinburgh into the worlds biggest rubbish dump. Once a month, people will be encouraged to dump all their trash on the curb and you can go out and pick up what you want. You are encouraged to leave beds, chairs and computers. The comments below the story speak for themselves….

Edinburgh FibDems were happy that the residents took to the new scheme with such enthusiasm