Wedding Diva's Blog

BRUNCH

2009-06-05T07:54:00.000-07:00

Traditional brunches have been customary for out of town guests ... a nice way to send them off.

That is fine, but sometimes I find some of the guests can not take advantage of the brunch because they have an early flight or they want to get an early start!

A good way to handle this is to make TICKETS to be handed out to guests upon checking in! Make arrangements with the hotel or a near-by restaurant which ever you prefer, to have breakfast available between 6:00 - 11:00 or whichever time you decide. Guests may show up anytime between the designated hours to have breakfast. You will then be charged only for the guests who took advantage of this.

The one draw back is that you usually don't get to see your guests the next day. If you would prefer a traditional brunch....have some tickets available for the guests who need to leave early and can't stick around for the brunch...your won't feel left out and you have provided them with a nice breakfast to thank them for traveling to celebrate your special day.

HAVE FUN!

2009-05-30T05:20:00.000-07:00

Planning a wedding is a little stressful with the MOUNTAINS of details that need to dealt with, however, I always find it sad when I see a future bride so stressed out that she is not having fun planning her wedding.

Even after they hire me, and have help and support, they still "freak out" over every little issue!

If you are planning a wedding.....and you are going it alone without a planner.....PLEASE try to make your planning experience fun. Don't take everything so seriously. Stay focused and organized......read my analogy on my website and take it one step at a time!!

Also.....use the budget calculator....that would help with your budget!

Remember....planing your wedding should be one of the most enjoyable things you ever to.....IT IS A REAL LABOR OF LOVE!

Money Saving Tips

2009-05-26T18:09:00.000-07:00

Planning your wedding on a shoe-string?

Try these tips:

1. Hire a DJ instead of a band (This will save you approximately $2,000.00)

2. Try to keep your centerpieces to under $50.00 per table.

3. Select a reception venue that offers all inclusive pricing.

4. Instead of a limo, rent a town car just for the bride and groom.

Just making a few little tweaks will make a HUGE difference in your budget!

Food Tastings

2009-05-22T10:23:00.000-07:00

Just yesterday I was asked if it was "standard" to have the reception site charge extra for additional people other than the bride and groom. I have been asked that question a lot lately!

Some places do and some don't, however, it is happening more and more. Some venues don't even offer a tasting anymore and if you insist, even the bride and groom will be expected to pay.

Tastings are meant to be just that, "TO TASTE THE FOOD" to help you with your selection. It is customary to invite the parents of the bride especially if they are paying for the wedding. The parents of the groom usually don't go unless they are also contributing to the cost of the reception. The least amount of people you invite the better!!

Most places will just bring out one plate of each entree that you choose to taste and everyone has a "taste" to see which chicken or fish they like better....again, it is not meant to be a meal.

If your venue is offering a tasting, tell them that you would like to see the "PLATE PRESENTATION." The way the food is presented is just as important as the taste.

Another thing that surprises most people is that most venues do not let you taste the Hors D' oeuvres or salads. Again it depends on the venue.

Also....DON'T FORGET....if you are going to have a tasting, make sure you do it in enough time to order your invitations. You will have to list your dinner choices on the response cards.

Suits vs. Tuxes

2009-05-06T03:56:00.000-07:00

The latest trend for the"GUYS" in your wedding are suits.

The big question is....which looks better?? In my opinion, they both look great, however, suits are much more practical and cost effective.

Men's Warehouse often has sales 2 suits for the cost of one. Initially, even with a good sale, the suit will probably cost more than renting a tux, however, everyone needs a suit in their wardrobe and it will be worn for years.

A tux with a vest, shoes, etc...will cost approximately $100.00.....for one day! A suit will cost approximately $150.00- $200.00 and will be used over and over.

The suits don't all have to be the same style, as long as they are all the same color, so if you want everyone to wear black suits and everyone in the wedding already have a black suit, that is fine, they can just wear what they have. You can bring it all together by having them wear the same shirts and ties.

Another concern are the shoes. As long as everyone wears black dress shoes, they don't have to match....in fact...I have never been a fan of the shiny black rented "tux shoes.":)

RECEPTION TIME LINE

2009-05-02T05:08:00.000-07:00

When you are planning your time line for your reception you should allow 2 .5 hours for your cocktail hour, introductions, toasts, and dinner.

Below is an example for you to use as a guideline:

6:00 PM Cocktail Hour
6:45 PM Guests are seated and will have a little time to get one last drink before dinner
7:00 PM Introductions, special dances, toasts, blessing
7:30 PM- 8:30 PM Dinner
8:30 PM - Midnight Dancing!

It is important to have a structured time line until dinner is over.....then you are free to just have a GREAT TIME!

ESCAPING AGAIN

2009-04-18T05:03:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning at 6:00 AM we are once again escaping to the Caribbean! This time my entire family is coming.....I am so looking forward to spending the week with our three grandsons, daughter and son-in-law.

We are going to Grand Cayman and Cozumel Mexico....2 of our favorite islands!

I am leaving my computer at home so I won't be blogging for a week.....I will post pictures when I get back!

Have a GREAT week!

TAKE CARE OF YOUR VENDORS

2009-04-17T04:05:00.000-07:00

I always have clients ask me if they have to feed their vendors. The answer is YES! The next statement usually is..."My reception venue offers vendor meals." My answer to that is.....NOT A GOOD IDEA!

Vendor meals at reception sites are usually sandwiches. Some vendors, like your photographer and videographer are with you 10 hours or more...they need to eat. Also, more and more vendors have meal clauses in their contracts stating what they expect.

Another thing to think about...some venues want to seat the vendors in a different room than the guests. This also is not a good idea....vendors such as your photographer,videographer and DJ...need to be in the same room as you and your guests in case a special unexpected moment occurs that you would like photographed or announced.

When I am managing a wedding, I always choose a table furthest from the "sweetheart table" or "head table" whatever the case may be to designate for the vendors.

Also, you should inform the staff that you would like them to serve the vendors right after they serve you and your parents..THIINK ABOUT IT....they should be eating when you are so that when you are up and about, they are working, taking pictures, playing music, etc.

As far as paying for their dinners, your reception site should remove the alcohol portion since the vendors won't drink and just pay for he food.

If you take care of your vendors.....they will take EXTRA good care of you! :)

Recession Proof your Wedding

2009-04-14T18:02:00.000-07:00

Every bride to be dreams of "HER" perfect wedding that she has been dreaming of since childhood....but unfortunately today's economy makes it a little tougher.

There are ways to cut corners without compromising the design and look of your wedding. If you would like specialty linens, thing of renting toppers rather than floor length. Your reception site usually provides you with white or Ivory linens. Throwing a beautiful topper over that,will make a HUGE difference!

Instead of large floral arrangements for centerpieces, candles, or a floating or a sunken flower makes a lovely centerpiece and willcost considerably less!!

The failing economy may make planning your dream wedding more challenging, but with a little creativity the design of your wedding can be recession proof!

Opening Shower Gifts

2009-04-12T11:43:00.000-07:00

If you ask anyone if they like bridal showers they will all tell you that they enjoy being with friends, but they hate sitting for 2 hours watching the bride open gifts!!!

My assistant Sue is getting married in July. Yesterday we gave her a shower. She told me in advance that we had to figure out a way to open the gifts without the usual sitting for hours...we both dislike that part!

So after thinking about it for a while...I came up with a GREAT idea! We had a gift table set up, as the guests arrived they would stop at the gift table and the bride opened her gift with that guest standing with her. Several guests made a comment about how wonderful it was and they love having a little time to spend with the bride. It was very personal.

At one point, several guests arrived at once. The guests stared to mingle and when it was time for the bride to open their gift we called that person and she came back to the gift table.

For an experiment, it was a great success!!! Everyone really enjoyed not having to sit for the traditional gift opening.

Details, details, details.......

2009-04-10T03:23:00.000-07:00

Linens by Table Toppers of Rochester

With the economy being what it is, you may find the need to scale back your original wedding ideas. While I think every bride has "GRANDIOSE" ideas...you do not have to spend a fortune to get a elegant look.

One thing that makes a big difference are bright colored linens in wonderful fabrics. Choose a color that will set off your centerpiece and make them"pop." spending money where your guests will be sitting most of the evening will give you the most bang for your buck!

Centerpieces do not have to be large floral arrangements, you can do something simple with "floating" or "sunken" flowers and candles. A colored pillar candle in a hurricane looks great with rose petals and votive candles surrounding it. A small flower can be placed on each napkin spreading the color around the table.

An interesting napkin fold will add some interest to your tables. There are several books available on napkin folding. Some reception sites will fold your napkins anyway you would like...if the fold is too involved, they may let you take the napkins home the week of the wedding so you and your bridal party can fold the them and bring them back all folded and ready to go. Tying the napkins with a simple ribbon makes a HUGE difference!

Menu cards are a very nice touch and cost very little money if you make them yourself on nice card stock. You can tuck them in a napkin with a small flower, a sprig of lavender or a sprig of an aromatic herb such as rosemary or lemon leaves.

Little small details will go a long way with your guests.....so don't forget the ladies room....a flower, bowl of potpourri or scented candle will be very welcoming along with an amenity basket containing essentials. Pick up some nice liquid hand soap and lotion at the Bath and Body shop when they go on sale 3 for $15.00. You can also purchase wonderful scented Yankee Candles at the Yankee outlet for half the price.

Cutting costs does not mean you have to compromise the "look" or "design" of your wedding, and remember, if you want to decorate your church or ceremony site, make sure these decorations serve "DOUBLE DUTY" and can be used at the reception.

Use your creativity and come up with small little details that will set your wedding apart from the "cookie cutter" weddings so when your guests leave they will be talking about your special day for years to come!

Strength

2009-04-01T07:09:00.000-07:00

I met a woman Lauren,whose teenage daughter was diagnosed with cancer. She fought it for 2 years and died when she was 19.

Lauren sat and told me her story with such strength and grace that is was overwhelming....I pretty much lost it!!!

My mind went straight to my teenage grandsons.....I thought......if anything happened to them I would totally give up.

I think it is just human nature to complain and feel sorry for themselves when things aren't going your way and think..WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.....or.......I am so sick of bad things happening.

I realized that my life is great! I may not have the biggest house or a huge bank account...but my life is rich in so many ways.

Lauren took her experience and started an organization called Melissa's Living Legacy/Teens Living With Cancer! www.melissaslivinglegacy.org

HAPPY SPRING

2009-03-20T04:03:00.000-07:00

HAPPY SPRING!!!

Today is the first day of Spring..(Even though there is a coating of snow this morning)!!!

Winter is suppose to be my slow season....then why have I been so busy!! ha ha

Out of the Ordinary has been working on several new projects and Events. We also have been teaching a lot of classes this Winter!!

Tonight is the first event we have been working on..The Nuptial Network Celebrity Bartending Event at the Woodcliff Hotel and Spa. It is open to the public, so I hope that you all try to come and see us!

Next Sunday is our Free Wedding Giveaway. The Nuptial Network is giving away a Free Wedding to a Great Couple...Will and Lori. Lori's father was diagnosed with terminal Cancer in December. Unfortunately, her dad did not make it and passed away a few weeks ago.

We are looking forward to a busy wedding season...(right around the corner!)

Have a great " First Day Of Spring" and A safe and wonderful Weekend!!

TENT WEDDINGS

2009-02-20T06:13:00.000-08:00

I received a call this week from a bride-to-be inquiring about our services.

She proceeded to tell me that they had a fairly small budget but they still wanted a nice wedding. Her parents have a great backyard overlooking a beautiful wooded area.They thought in order to save money they would have their reception in a tent in her parents yard.

I think it is a common misconception that tented weddings in your yard or a park is more economical than a traditional venue. NOTHING could be further than the truth.

There are so many things to consider when you are planning a reception in a tent.

The first thing you need to do is contact your insurance company regarding liability./especially if you are serving alcohol.

The next thing is to check with your local zoning regarding ordinances. (e.g., you may not be allowed to play music after a specific time).

Other important considerations are restrooms, parking (You may need a special permit), and proper lighting.

Below is a list of items you will have to rent:

Reception tent (there are many styles/sizes to choose from)
Caterer’s tent (to prepare food) unless you have a large garage the caterer may use.
Dance floor
China
Flatware
Glassware
Condiment holders, salt & pepper shakers, etc.
Tables
Chairs
Linens (napkins, tablecloths, chair covers)
Portable bar & bar supplies
Persons to serve, bartenders (caterers usually supply servers and bartenders)
Hot racks, food warmers
Coffee urns, tea pots, creamers, sugar holders
Portable restrooms
Additional lighting, if necessary

The cost of all of your rentals will be over and above any food and alcohol costs.

For an average wedding of 150 people, the costs of rentals, lighting and restrooms will cost approximately $8,000.00 to 10,000.00! If you want to floor the entire tent or line the tent with satin, it will be more!

You also will need to hire a reputable caterer.

If you are on a strict budget you are much better off having your reception in a traditional venue such as a hotel, restaurant or party facility.

If you do have a larger budget that will support a tented event..there is nothing more beautiful and romantic..HOWEVER....they take a lot more thought and attention to detail!

WINTER BLUES

2009-02-13T03:49:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in awhile...I am a victim of the WINTER BLUES! I have been busy with my weddings,, and the Nuptial Network Bartending Event...but other then that I have spent the last few months reflecting on my life!

I have received lots of e mails asking why I stopped blogging. I am really not sure why!! ha ha ha

I have so many irons in the fire, so many projects both personal and professional that my head spins! ha ha

I have been teaching lots of classes this winter.....Bridal Survival Workshops and "So, you want to Be a Wedding Planner." I really enjoy teaching and helping others to reach their goals. I also have been implementing lots of new services and programs.

My life to this point has been like a roller coaster....and the ride is still going strong. Right now I feel like I am at the top of the roller coaster hanging upside down!! ha ha ha

I am longing for Spring ..........I also am looking forward to a cruise in April with my family. It will be so awesome spending an entire week with my grandsons in an environment where they can't leave to go out with their friends or text messaging incessantly!! They will be stuck in the middle of the ocean with ME!! ha ha (poor kids)!

It has been a true joy watching my precious babies grow into delightful young men and celebrating all of their successes with them. The youngest, Matt in now a black belt in Karate while Ryan and Joel both made all county in football. Ryan (almost 18) was accepted to the first college of his choice, Utica College. I also had the privledge of taking him to his "road test" a real milestone in his life.

All in all I have been very blessed with a wonderful family and lots of loyal friends and my life is good!!

So, hopefully the winter blues will go away soon, and my roller coaster will turn me back upright!

I promise to blog everyday and continue to give all of you information to help you plan your special day.

Thanks to all who have cared so much to inquire where I've been!! :)

Your Wedding Cake

2009-02-01T05:00:00.003-08:00

Cake and pastries by Gourmet Goodies

Think about serving your cake on a station rather than serving as dessert.

A lot of people do not like cake, so they leave it. Also, by the time the cake is served guests are dancing and talking and never go back to their table.

If you have it served on a station, guests can mingle and help themselves to cake whenever theey are ready.

You also may want to think about having a smaller cake and adding pastries and cookies to give your guests a choice.

THROW BOUQUET IDEA

2009-01-17T12:26:00.000-08:00

If you decide you are going to stick with tradition and throw a bouquet at your reception try this unique twist.

Have your florist tie a ribbon on 5 or 6 individual flowers then tie them together with one big bow.

When it is time to throw the bouquet, untie the big bow and throw. The bouquet will break apart and several people will catch them.

It will be an unexpected surprise!!

GIFT REGISTRY

2009-01-09T11:31:00.000-08:00

Traditionally, wedding and shower gifts were designated to furnish a first home, but today’s lifestyle is more contemporary. Many couples live together before tying the knot, and second marriages are on the rise. These couples are blending two households with furnishings.

Guests are very appreciative of couples who register. This makes their gift giving experience much more time efficient and enjoyable. Bridal registry is a free service offered by most specialty and department stores to engaged couples. Registering should be a joint effort between both you and your fiancé.

Don’t limit yourself to one store. Register at your favorite specialty shops and department stores. When you register include a minimum of one national chain store to accommodate your out-of-town guests.

Most department stores and discount department stores that have a bridal registry are computerized. This makes the process very quick and easy. You will be given a hand-held computerized device. This will allow you and your fiancé to wander about the store entering items you would like to receive.

Register for items in several different price categories. A guest may want to add an inexpensive item to their gift or your office friends may choose to give a more expensive item as a group.

All stores that offer a bridal registry will supply you with cards identifying that you are registered at that store. It is proper etiquette to include these cards in your shower invitations but not in your wedding invitations. Another way of informing guests is to have your families and friends spread the word.

FREE WEDDIING OPPORTUNITY

2008-12-31T12:23:00.000-08:00

If you would like to get married, but cannot afford the wedding of your dreams....Register to win a free wedding with The Nuptial Network of Greater Rochester and WARM 101.3.

Visit the WARM 101.3 website at http://www.warm1013.com and tell us why you deserve a free wedding.

The wedding will be held on Sunday March 29, 2009 and both the ceremony and reception will be held at the RIT Inn and Conference Center.

You must be willing to have the WARM 101.3 listeners select everything for you from your dress to flowers and everything in between.

You also must use all of the participating vendors from the Nuptial Network of Greater Rochester.

There will be no substitutions, additions or exceptions made.

We would love to hear your story!

BRIDAL SHOWS

2008-12-31T11:31:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BRIDAL SHOW SEASON!!

If you are planning a 2009/2010 wedding and are not planning on hiring a planner, you may want to think about attending a couple of bridal shows.

I don't suggest going to more than 2 or 3 shows or you may become confused and also they get to be very repetitious at that point.

Below are some tips to make the most of each show you attend.

Many vendors will offer a special discount, as a show special, but don't let that intimidate you...take your time and make sure this is the vendor that you want. If you decide to book a service at the show to take advantage of any specials, make sure the vendor provides you with a contract. Take a few minutes to read the contract and understand it before you sign and pay a deposit. Some vendors will allow you to take the contract home to show your fiance or parents and will still let you take advantage of the discounted price if you book within 24 hours...SO ASK QUESTIONS!
Bring self addressed labels, this will speed up the process of registering at each booth.
Bring your appointment book/pda to make appointments.
Bring a camera to take pictures of vendors or ideas you like.
Collect information from all vendors to read over when you get home and are relaxed.
Bring Cash, some shows offer a cash bar or snacks at your own expense.

Also, if you win a prize, make sure you discuss exactly what you have won with the vendor and ask for something in writing as to the terms of that prize...ie...a percentage off a service, etc.

CONGRATULATIONS

2008-12-28T11:08:00.001-08:00

CONGRATULATIONS.......TO EVERYONE WHO BECAME ENGAGED OVER THE HOLIDAY'S!

First of all....enjoy the next couple of days.....once you have chosen a date...DON'T GET OVERWHELMED...stay focused...and STAY ON TRACK!

Over the next few weeks, I will be giving you information to get started.
Once you have set a date....the first thing you should do is answer these three questions:

1. Where would you like your ceremony and reception. If the answer to this question is "I DON'T KNOW" ...that s okay...we can come back to this.

2. How many people are you inviting? You can't choose a reception site until you have determined how many people you will be accommodating.

3. How much money do you have to spend. Whether you have a $10,000,00 or $100,000.00 to spend, you must start with a budget or you will get very confused.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2008-12-24T10:32:00.000-08:00

Wishing you all a Safe and Happy Holiday!!!!!!!

Christmas

2008-12-16T07:41:00.000-08:00

Every year starting around Thanksgiving, you take your life in your own hands going to the grocery store or mall. Everyone is miserable and just plain rude!!

Everyone complains about all of the preparations for the Holiday Season and seem to resent it!!

This year with the economy being what it is, it seems worse! I have to admit, sometimes I fall into this category, I think at one time or another we all get caught up in the negativity of the holiday rather than focusing on the positive.

I think we all seem to loose the true meaning of Christmas. It is not about how much money you spend or how many presents you buy, it is a time to focus on your spirituality and your family. It is a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

Start special traditions that will be meaningful to you and your family. Create memories that will last a lifetime. Plan a very special Christmas dinner and don't complain about it.

The next time you run into one of these "grumpy, negative" people in the mall ..... smile and wish them a Merry Christmas. They may not respond or smile....but you will!!!

PLANNING A BACHELORETTE PARTY

2008-12-09T09:51:00.000-08:00

When most people think of a "Bachelorette Party" they think of bar hopping, drinking and strip clubs!

More and more women are getting married at an older age, and they are not comfortable with bar hopping!

If the bride isn't all that thrilled about going out drinking there are other fun bachelorette party ideas.

Many beauty salons and day spas are now offering bachelorette parties---you book a room for the entire party, and each guest gets a manicure or pedicure. Often the spa will throw in drinks and munchies or will allow you to bring in your own, which will cost you less. Check with your local salons and day spas for prices and "party specials."

Join forces with the "groomsmen" to combine the bachelor and bachelorette parties. A wine tour is always a fun alternative. Rent a limo, stock it with munchies and hit your favorite trail!

Usually each person involved pays for themselves and everyone "kicks" in for the bride.

The point of the party is to give the bride a fun "send off" into married life......make sure whatever you plan is something she will enjoy and always remember!!!!

YOUR WEDDING REHEARSAL

2008-11-19T17:35:00.001-08:00

A wedding rehearsal is really not a rehearsal.........It is only a "walk-through" of what will happen during the ceremony.

It is not like a Broadway play or Hollywood movie, where everyone has to practice all their singing, dancing, acting, and stunt parts together.

If you have readers or musicians, they do not need to take up everyone's time by practicing at the rehearsal. If your readers feel they would like to practice, they should arrive a little early to practice their reading.

Most rehearsals take about 30 minutes or less. It should not take longer than the actual ceremony.
All your bridal party needs to know is when to walk in, where to stand (or sit), and when to walk out.

The purpose is to show people where they fit in so they will hopefully feel a little less stressed about their roles in the actual ceremony.

I really feel that a simple rehearsal or "Walk-Trough" is very important to put everyone's mind at ease and to make the parties involved feel a little more calm and confident.