éireann

not a professional

2009-07-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

i try to find time most days to get some sewing done or put in some time on a project. i don't think it is a secret that i'm happiest when i have a project and i fervently believe that taking care of me means i can be a better wife and mommy. brian also seems to understand this and often lately handles TK (the kiddo) so i can sew and thereby reset myself back into my happy place.

my latest project has been alice's bridal shower gift. i finished her wedding gift a while back and then had to figure out what to do for her bridal shower. lingerie was (kind of) out as she had requested a recipe/words of wisdom shower and was kind of nervous about being embarrassed in front of some older family members. i still wanted to do lingerie though (she gave me a SCANDALOUS red nothing for my bridal shower, in front of my lutheran grandmother) and i had to find a yummy recipe. this is what i came up with:

it's a play on my dinners-in-a-bag, only this one is a "sexy breakfast." my recipe of choice was these delicious waffles, only i called them "baby give me more" waffles. i also put in a recipe for "mmm i love that" berry syrup to drizzle on top. i found a cute sort of vintage-looking bra and panties set (i love the boyshort-cut of those panties) and some inexpensive but lovely bamboo spoons. and then i made that cute vintage-y apron, hot pads (they are supposed to be heart-shaped, but my sewing turned out a bit wonky there), and matching dishtowels. high heels not included. can you see where i am going with this?

the only problem is, i love it so much. i love that black and tan floral, and i love the giant rickrack. i love half-aprons, and i love the black and tan polka dot fabric that is the tie on the apron. [secret note to kerry: i actually got it for your quilt, but then it matched perfectly with the floral so i used a little for alice. but it was yours first.] it's also the bias binding on the towels and hot pads, which i love. i found insulated cloth for the hot pads and i love that i used it. i love the color of the towels. i do not want to give this up.

incidentally (if you were wondering) this is the reason i generally do not sew for other people. friends often ask why i don't sell the things i sew, and this is why: i'm way too selfish.

another heart calls

2009-07-09T08:46:00.000-07:00

this week i am thankful for:

1. disability insurance.

2. my sewing machine, not that i have the free time anymore to use it as much as i'd like.

3. hannah, who giggles and coos in her sleep sometimes when i am holding her, waiting for her to be asleep enough to put her in her crib so i can sneak away and, i don't know, pee, or eat. (this kid firmly exercises her constitutional right to protest when i put her down. yes, protest. she does not do it peacefully.) those giggles and coos are the cutest. thing. EVER.

not fit to be called woman

2009-07-06T12:32:00.000-07:00

my bridesmaid shoes just arrived and i love them. LOVE. THEM. it has been so long since i treated myself to a new pair of shoes that getting these was like a hit of cocaine. or something, i don't know, i've never done a drug in my life. except that one time, in college.

i tried them on and discovered something else: that it has been so long since i've worn any kind of heel (let alone a 3-inch one) that i was wobbly and teetering. i have to re-learn how to walk in heels.

i'm sorry, ladies. i'm an embarrassment to you all.

rockpaperscissors giveaway

2009-07-03T15:59:00.000-07:00

rockpaperscissors GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!! over at grosgrain. how cute would the wedding dresses invite be for alice's bridal shower? (invites are my responsibility.) love them.

sadly, bottle rockets are not permitted.

2009-07-02T15:55:00.000-07:00

this week i am thankful for:

1. a husband who came home early tonight!

2. fireworks this weekend! i love fireworks.

3. freedom. america was founded on an idea: that all men (and women) were created equal and are entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. i love that. happy birthday, america.

recent addiction: quilting

2009-07-01T15:27:00.000-07:00

i know, i know. i said before that i hate quilting. but then, remember? i said it wasn't so bad. and then i said it was actually kind of fun. so fun, in fact, that i've made a couple more. and i've started to buy quilting supplies and gadgets and tools. it's bad.

here is a picture of my first quilt. hah! just kidding. that's just a blanket made with a cheater cloth. i don't have the patience for those curved seams and tiny squares.

this was my first real foray into quilting. i made this about eight or nine years ago. (brian: why are you taking pictures of that? it's not like it's new or anything.) a bit ambitious, don't you think? yes folks, that's my king-size bed. a cal king. nothing like going for the gold on the very first try. i mean, how hard can it be?

i love the log cabin pattern. it is so easy to cut and piece and it doesn't really matter if the seams come out a bit wonky, like they did on this one. you can't tell once the blocks are set. traditionally the center square is red or yellow, representing either the hearth of the home (red) or a candle left burning to guide one home (yellow), and the values radiate light to dark on either side to represent happiness and sorrow, symbolizing life in a home. at the time i had no idea of the history behind log cabin quilts - just about the light and dark values - so i chose blues for my quilt. the setting is very similar to the popular sunshine and shadow setting though i did not know that at the time either.

i don't know that i would truly call that one a quilt, because i didn't actually quilt it. i toyed with the idea of tying it (now i know that is the traditional manner of anchoring a log cabin quilt) but i didn't want to spend the money on batting. hey, i was a poor college student. and i was insanely frustrated by how slow it was going. i'm kind of an impatient seamstress. so i simply backed the top with two sheets (one to protect the raw edges) to make it into a duvet.

my second "quilt" i did the same thing with. i'm sure this pattern has a name, but i don't know what it is. i like how it looks like geese flying, kind of like that mc escher drawing.

you can tell how frustrated i was by the blue log cabin quilt because the squares are much bigger in this pattern and it went quite a bit faster. i made this one about three years ago. again, it's not a true quilt, because i just backed it twice (once to protect the raw edges) to make another duvet instead of actually quilting it. that one is our "winter" quilt and will go on the bed later in the fall. it's nice to change things up once in a while and the colors make me feel so cozy.

and of course we all know how the baby quilt turned out. that one was a sampler which i like in a small quilt (45" x 54") but i think would be too busy and distracting in a larger "bed" size. it was fun trying out all those different patterns though. there is a log cabin block in there also, the far left in the second row from the top.

i was so inspired by the baby quilt that i decided to make a quilt for a friend as a wedding gift. i think that log cabin pattern is my favorite and it's pretty easy, so i decided to make hers in a log cabin also, only in the colors of her wedding (somewhat). sorry i didn't get the red in there, jess. the colors also made me think of oregon, where she lives, so i thought that was appropriate. it turned out a lot prettier than i thought it would be. at first i was not thrilled with the colors - they were not what i would have chosen, but that didn't matter because it was not for me. i really love how it all came together in the end and i think it is beautiful. i almost didn't want to give it up. it's a nice two-person "snuggle" size, 60" x 60".

after i made that quilt i started doing a little research on the history of log cabin quilts. that's when i found out about the red or yellow center square - jessika's yellow center square was not planned, but a happy accident. i'd like to think it's so she and b can always find their way home to each other. the arrangement is a very simple setting called straight setting, and i love how elegant and rhythmic it is. i actually quilted this one, before i learned that log cabin quilts were traditionally tied and never quilted. i had no idea what pattern to quilt it in, so i tried a technique called stippling. even though it is a bit unorthodox, i love how it turned out, but the stippling was harder than i expected and i don't think i would try it again. i used a cotton/bamboo batting for this quilt and really like how it makes the finished quilt feel. i've used poly batting before in other projects (like quillows) but i don't think i'd use it again now that i have discovered cotton batting.

the most recent quilt i finished is also a wedding gift, for my girlfriend alice who is getting married in august. i arranged the blocks in a broken dishes setting which i find quite intriguing and beautiful but caused much swearing. i could not for the life of me set those blocks together properly. i have never ripped out and resewn so many seams in my life.

this quilt was tied, partly because i don't have a machine with an arm long enough to quilt it easily nor the skill to do so, partly because it is more traditional that way. quite a bit of love and energy went into this project (and money, which brian is complaining about), but she is my best girl and deserves it. i really love the colors and if she weren't getting married i'd keep it for myself. it looks gorgeous in our guest room. maybe i'll get more fabric and make us one.

my latest project is a patchwork scrap quilt for our bed. this is an ambitious project, not only because i have a new baby but also because we have that cal king bed. i have most of the little squares cut out; it's just a matter of piecing together the top, mostly. oy! i'll post pictures when i have something substantial to post pictures of.

may be jinxing it

2009-06-25T10:13:00.000-07:00

this week i am thankful for:

1. sleep, glorious sleep! we (finally) borrowed a bassinet from a friend, picked it up on sunday. and the kiddo has been going through a growth spurt and eating like nobody's business. i don't know if it is the bassinet, or that she is so tired from growing, or that she is tanking up so much at night and doesn't need to feed as often in the wee hours, but since sunday she has slept through the night. six to eight hours straight each night. maybe it's a combination of the three. maybe i'm jinxing it by mentioning it, but i have felt amazing this week and hope this continues.

2. mommy + me group. such a neat group of women and the cutest kiddos ever.

3. being a good citizen and paying my taxes, because now the government is sending me disability checks, which are really helping me stay home with the kiddo. i paid in to the system and now it is paying back to me. nice.

summer in the city

2009-06-18T20:29:00.000-07:00

this week i am thankful for:

1. a lovely afternoon spent with my sister in the city, even though the kiddo decided to be a bit fussy. i wish we lived closer to that girl.

2. blue cheese, which i had not had in... 10 months? it was divine.

3. gorgeous weather, which makes the city even prettier. as soon as i saw the city skyline from the freeway in albany, i remembered how much i love san francisco and how much i miss living in the bay area. sf is even more fabulous on a beautiful day and today did not disappoint.

did they ever get us good

2009-06-15T14:20:00.000-07:00

because we knew brian's leave was ending soon, we decided to take a trip over to the jelly belly factory in fairfield. it's no secret that jelly bellies are my favorite candy ever and i've been wanting to take a tour of the factory in the worst way for the longest time.

we got there just in time to browse the lobby a bit and get in for the last tour of the day. we're not moving very quickly these days with the kiddo and all. there was a ton of ronald reagan memorabilia (he famously loved jelly bellies also!) as well as jelly belly art, "mosaics" made with jelly bellies.

then we took the tour. unfortunately photography is not allowed on the tour but let me tell you how neat it was! i love seeing how things are made and this did not disappoint. there was a room full of huge kettles for melting sugar, right across from stacked pallets of sugar and 2,000-pound bags of cornstarch.

we saw the huge machines sorting out the beans that were too small and too large, and other irregular beans. these are called belly flops. i love that. the factory goes through 85,000 pounds of sugar in an 8-hour period, by the way. c&h comes by every morning to refill two huge silos outside. they also use real oils and flavors in the beans. for example, the chocolate beans are made with real dark chocolate, and the jalapeño ones have real pepper oil. also, the flavor is in the bean itself, not just the hard shell, unlike most other jelly beans.

after the tour of course we browsed in the shop. they sell each individual flavor in bulk which i like because then i can make myself a mixed bag without the yucky flavors like licorice. (that's how we were able to do jelly bellies in only our wedding colors as our wedding favors.) this is where they get you: the tour itself is free, and they even give you a free bag of jelly bellies at the end. we spent way too much money in that shop. man do i love those jelly bellies.

the factory also makes much more than just jelly bellies. chocolate and gummies are two we saw loads of. if you're ever in the bay area, the factory tour is a fun way to spend an afternoon.

for your consideration

2009-06-11T10:15:00.000-07:00

this week i am thankful for:

1. making it through the first month with my sanity [mostly] intact.

2. my considerate husband, who always holds the door for me, which is more than i can say for some men when i am walking into the bank with a baby in my arms.

3. a well-stocked freezer. brian isn't doing much in the way of cooking and fast food gets old very quickly.

success!

2009-06-10T11:29:00.000-07:00

brian got a promotion!

so proud of you, honey!

these four walls are driving me insane. fresh air needed. now.

2009-06-04T12:48:00.000-07:00

this week i am thankful for:

1. mil, who is so wonderfully supportive and encouraging and fun, and even babysat monday night so brian and i could get out and see a movie. there is life after children after all.

2. brian, for giving me time-outs when i need them.

3. mommy + me network. it's nice to be somewhere where the baby's screams aren't a bother, and where other women are going through the same things i am. plus, it gets me out of the house.

happy birthday

2009-06-03T04:51:00.000-07:00

to the wonderful man i am lucky enough to call my husband, whom my daughter is lucky enough to call her father. i love you, sweetie.

wedding part ii

2009-05-31T14:37:00.000-07:00

after taking all those pictures we headed up the hill to our reception. boy were we excited - we were finally married! i was on cloud 9 and brian just could not believe it. married! i was mrs. stensler! pretty amazing if you ask me. when we got to the clubhouse, one the catering staff met us outside to see if we wanted any particular drink to be waiting at our table for us. i certainly wasn't going to pass up a drink on my wedding day so i ordered myself a beer. brian declined anything. i took one look at his awestruck, semi-shell-shocked face... and ordered him a beer as well.

the dj started playing "center field" and we followed our bridal party in to our reception. i had gotten the garden wedding that i had always hoped for, but i wanted to incorporate brian's love of baseball as well. "center field" seemed like such a fun thing to walk in to. "put me in, coach!" then we got down to business: FOOD. it was lunchtime and we had just gotten married, so we were HUNGRY. and man was there a lot of food! we had a big buffet with three different entrees and eight different salads.

jimmy, alice, paul, kerry, brian, me, ed, jackie, dave, and kirsten

we had asked the photographer to pull us away during lunch for some additional photos, so we wouldn't miss out on socializing with our guests. unfortunately he didn't and i'm not sure why not. the upshot was that we got to eat at least. i was famished and scarfed down a bunch of food but brian was too nervous to eat much of anything and didn't even touch his beer.

my beautiful bridesmaids jackie, alice, kerry, and kirsten

those boys! dave, ed, brian, paul, and jimmy

brian wanted to shoot our photographer by this point.

after we took some more pictures we went back inside. it was time for the fun stuff! we got to cut our beautiful cake - with a baseball on top, just for brian. (our tables were also "named" for different ballparks instead of just numbers, and our favors were small bags of jelly bellies and baseball gumballs.)

and man was it ever yummy. chocolate with chocolate raspberry filling and vanila buttercream frosting. delicious. and there was no smashing in the faces either. my makeup and i thanked brian for his restraint.

we danced our first dance to eric heatherly's "swimming in champagne." it was so nice to have a moment together with no one else vying for our attention. we both agreed that our first dance was our favorite part of the reception.

then, sadly, it was time to go. we were both so tired from all the excitement and activity of the day, but we were having so much fun with our guests that we didn't want to go. but we still had to. our guests saw us off in a shower of rose petals and then we hopped into brian's truck, which had been detailed and then decorated by the boys for the occasion.

we were married! it was off to spend our wedding night at the pacifica beach resort hotel, and then in a couple days we were off to our honeymoon in aruba!

tired.

2009-05-28T09:25:00.000-07:00

nothing very blogworthy this week. i'm sleep-deprived and on a weirder schedule than i've ever been on in my life. i want to get a little sewing done but i'm thinking that isn't happening in this life, at least not anytime soon. i'm trying to get the baby announcements out in the mail. hannah eats, sleeps, poops, and repeats. i am not sure how many diapers we are going through each day but it is a ridiculous amount and i am not loving the impact on our bank account nor the landfill. she has had two baths in her lifetime so far, countless car trips, and a fair number of visitors. so because of her, this week i am thankful for a lot more than three things. i'm thankful for a lot more than three people. but i'll stick to my self-imposed rules - here are my three things i am thankful for this week:

1. that we are able to afford a new car. the pt just had not been working for brian for a long time and with his back issues we were pretty much at a breaking point with that car. and then we had the baby, and the car seat pretty much did not fit in the backseat: brian had to scoot his seat forward, put the seat in or take it out, and then scoot his seat back into position. but i swear, the next new car we get is going to be mine.

2. my best girl alice, who has been here this week helping us with the baby. she loves her niece and loves taking care of her, which has given me a chance to catch up on some sleep (which will likely be lost again as soon as she goes home). we've been taking care of wedding stuff and chatting and being girls together, which has been so nice. i only wish she lived closer.

3. a perfectly normal, healthy baby. her weight was good at her checkup this morning and our other concerns were basically unfounded. the worst thing she has going on right now is a bout of diaper rash.

baby thankfulness

2009-05-21T10:44:00.000-07:00

this week i am thankful for:

1. my beautiful, healthy kiddo. i can't say how happy she is because those rare baby smiles, i guess they're just gas for the next couple weeks. other than that... we're so in love with her. her skin is so soft, i just want to touch her and kiss her everywhere. i could rub her little belly forever. and that skin is so loose, kind of like old man skin, that she has like 12 chins and i love them all. she makes the funniest faces and the silliest sounds, little sighs in her sleep and baby farts and burps and grunts and these chirpy little squeaks. it's like we birthed a menagerie instead of a human child. she doesn't know what to do with herself when she gets the hiccups. she had them last night when she spit up for the first time. i put her on my shoulder and rubbed her back, and she turned her head and stared at me wide-eyed with her mouth hanging open, and i just about died of happiness.

2. my husband, who continues to prove that he is the world's greatest man alive. we all know that i could not have made it through labor without him. i also could not have made it through this past week without him either. he is the one who has been folding me into his arms at 3a when i break down crying because i can't get the baby to sleep. he is the one who cuddles the baby for 2 hours after i feed her so i can rest. he is the one who pushed me in the wheelchair to hannah's 2-day doctor appointment, because my belly hurt so bad that i could not walk from here to kingdom come to find where in the world pediatrics might be hiding. he is my rock, my shelter, my safe place, and i love him so much.

3. mil, who came and took care of both of us this week. my mother very suddenly and abruptly left to go home the night before i got out of the hospital. we had been counting on her help, and then suddenly she is telling me this. i sat in my hospital bed and sobbed and felt so helpless. brian said, my mother will help us. and she did. even though she doesn't cook and isn't very domestic, she did laundry for us, made lunches and dinners for us, left us a huge bowl of fruit salad when she went home (which has since been devoured). she was a third pair of hands at all of hannah's myriad (okay, only three, but it felt like a billion) appointments because she was losing too much weight, and we needed those extra hands. it's not that i doubted her desire or ability to help. i'm not sure what it was with me. but she sure stepped up and for that i am grateful.

hannah's birth story

2009-05-15T21:41:00.000-07:00

hannah is probably the absolute most beautiful thing i have ever seen. aside from a bit of conehead that is going away, i think i am not biased when i say that. she is just a pretty girl in her mama's eyes.

monday was obviously a very rough day. (as the doctor pointed out, i now know what a "10" is on the 0-10 pain scale!) i had my first contraction at 4a and by 6a they were about 10 minutes apart. i got in the shower around 745a and my water broke at 830a, conveniently just as i had turned off the water but was still in the shower. so we went to the hospital; brian was very anxious that we were not going soon enough. it's a 20-minute drive and i remember brian was more stressed than i was at that point; i had to remind him where to get off the freeway and where to turn. by about 930a when we got there the contractions were 2-3 minutes apart, 45-60 seconds long, and i was dilated to 4 centimeters. btw that 2-3 minutes apart is NOT from the end of one to the start of the next, oh no. that would be too much rest. the way you time a contraction is from the start of one to the start of the next. (i did not know this until our childbirth class.) so really only like 1-2 minutes rest. and you would not believe the words and noises that come out of your body during a contraction. they had told us the (private, thank heaven) birthing rooms were soundproof but according to mil, she could hear me screaming and swearing and moaning through each contraction.

in the incubator at the nursery with daddy (and mil behind him), waiting for mommy to come out of recovery

i transitioned around noon. i had previously wondered how women in labor magically knew when they were at 7+ centimeters and in transition. now i know. in my case it was because i got the shakes. this was either never mentioned in any of the pregnancy/labor/childbirth classes or books that i took/read or else it somehow slipped by me every single time. (i remember the part about shivering/shaking afterwards, because your body goes into shock somewhat - but not during.) my entire body started trembling violently and i had no idea what was happening. i asked the nurse if i was okay and she said oh yes, you have the adrenaline shakes. that means you're in transition. you're perfectly normal. huh.

by about 230p i was 10 centimeters dilated and ready to start pushing. they gave me fentanyl also at about 9 centimeters, an iv drug to take the edge off. i wanted to try to do the whole thing 100% natural but it just did not happen. the contractions still hurt like a mother after the fentanyl but were no longer pass-out pain is all. brian was such an awesome coach, i could not have done it without him. i pushed for about 2+ hrs and she was just not coming. "failure to progress" is what they called it. so they put a vacuum cup on her head to try to help. hence the conehead, and she also has some scabby scratches on the top of her head from the vacuum cup. they also had to catheterize me just before because i had not peed all day and a full bladder can hinder the vacuum apparently. that was about the worst thing ever, it hurt so bad. brian kept me focused on him but he said the look on my face broke his heart. he also said he could tell how much it hurt and that he did not realize until then how tough i was. (i generally have a relatively low pain tolerance.) apparently he has much more appreciation and respect for me now! i was begging the doctor not to catheterize me but they had to. then they also gave me two shots, one on either side, for the pudendal block. the doctor said to ease the pain as she came out on the vacuum, i guess it hurts more. i do remember at one point the vacuum popped off her head. i remember the doctor pulling hard as i was pushing too but nothing happened. she and i just failed to progress.

apparently life on the outside isn't all it's cracked up to be

i think i pushed about 30-45 minutes with the vacuum but she was just not coming so the doctor said they needed to get me in for an emergency cesarean. i was tired and the baby was tired and nothing was happening. her heart rate was dropping during contractions, not dangerously so thank the Lord, but her oxygen levels were dropping also and the doctor was concerned. i asked brian afterwards if he could even see anything when i was pushing (like the top of her head) and he said no. i was actually kind of relieved about the cesarean because i just wanted the whole thing done with at that point. so they wheeled me away to do a spinal block (faster than an epidural) while brian got suited up.

they poked my back for about 15 minutes but it was not taking, i was not getting any pain relief. i counted at least seven poke bruises on my spine yesterday. in the meantime i was having contractions and curled on my side, as much as i could be with a baby between my legs and the doctor is saying hold still so i can do this. what?! a man of course. (i also had to sign a consent form in the same position on the or table, while being poked and having a contraction. why can't you consent to things ahead of time?) they also tried to put in an epidural but it did not take either. after about 20 minutes i said, PLEASE can you just do general (which they don't like as much because it is more risk to the baby). but they did. they had to catheterize me again for the cesarean, but it was a different kind of catheter so did not hurt as bad as before THANK THE LORD. i said, can you PLEASE catheterize me after you put me under, and they said, i'm sorry but no, as soon as you are under we have to get the baby out.

they had to strap my legs down, i guess so i wouldn't go flopping everywhere in the middle of a contraction while i was under anesthesia. that was VERY scary, especially when i had a contraction before the anesthesia kicked in. no one told me they strap your legs down. none of the books mention this. they don't talk about it in the childbirth classes. the worst part was, brian could not be there with me under general anesthesia, so i was alone with all those nurses and doctors the whole time i was in the operating room, and all i wanted was him.

she has this crinkly lower lip just like her daddy's, and sometimes likes to squinch it sideways when she sleeps

they also had to intubate me with the general anesthesia so my voice is scratchy and my throat hurts even four days later. brian calls it sexy voice, even though the last thing i feel these days is sexy. i think they put me under about 545p (i know they wheeled me into the or about 5p) and hannah was born at 6p on the dot. 8 pounds 0 ounces, and 20 inches long. brian saw her pretty much as soon as she got out, they cut her cord and then took her away to get a bath and such while they stitched me up. she is all red and wailing in those first pictures he took. he said she just wanted her mom and to feed. i started coming around about 7p and i think they brought her to me around 730p and she just went to town breastfeeding. i remember the first thing i asked was if she was okay, and the nurses told me she was fine, healthy and beautiful. i remember the next thing i asked was if she was still a girl; the ultrasound tech had been almost 100% positive on her sex but that almost had bothered us ever since. we had all these girl things, and a pink and purple nursery, a girl name (we could not agree on a boy name), and we couldn't agree on whether to circumsize or not. what if she was a boy?

so that is where we are right now, we got home yesterday afternoon after three days (including labor) in the hospital. i have not slept much of course and my abdomen hurts of course, to be expected when they cut it open to remove an 8 pound baby, but still. she has her days and nights reversed right now so sleeps too much during the day and feeds too much at night. i guess most babies are like that at first. she also has so far lost too much weight, 14 ounces in 4 days which is definitely more than the maximum 7% body weight loss that they prefer to see, so we have to supplement with formula for the next few days until my milk comes in and she is getting enough nutrition from me. otherwise she would have to be admitted and apart from us. fortunately that is the only thing "wrong" with her. her bilirubin levels are great, no jaundice, and all her scores and vitals have otherwise been fabulous.

all strapped in and ready to go home, swimming in her sleeper

we are so in love with her. i never thought i could be so happy about being "replaced" in my husband's heart, but i am just over the moon that brian is so starry-eyed over her. i never thought i could so love this little person who is making such demands on my time, energy, and body. and i never realized how much i could trust and appreciate the man who got me through this whole thing - pregnancy, labor, delivery, who is taking such good care of me right now as i'm recovering not only from a (mostly) regular birth but also from major abdominal surgery. i never thought i could love brian more than i did before this experience. he saw me go through things, say and do things that a husband should not have to see and hear and experience from his wife, and i should be ashamed and embarrassed, and i'm not. he's my husband and he loves me. i can't imagine having done this whole thing with anyone else, and i wouldn't want to.

cross-posted at baby stenz

hannah jeanne

2009-05-15T01:48:00.000-07:00

was born on monday may 11 (her due date!) at 6pm. she was 8 lbs. 0 oz. and 20 ins long. she is the most beautiful thing brian and i have ever seen. we all came home from the hospital thursday afternoon.

photos and her birth story to come, it was quite the ordeal. we tried a little bit of pretty much everything just to meet this kiddo.

cross-posted at baby stenz

no baby yet

2009-05-07T12:21:00.000-07:00

this week i am thankful for:

1. my husband being home on leave also. it's really nice to have him around, even if he does play mah jongg compulsively and check baseball stats and his fantasy teams obssessively. at the moment we aren't driving each other nuts so it's nice to get to spend this time together, even if it isn't really a vacation because we're sitting around waiting for kiddo to make her appearance.

2. not having a baby just yet, because it is giving me time to get projects done that i have not previously had time to do. if they don't get done, they don't get done, but it's still nice. for example, brian's birthday gift is all squared away, because i'm afraid that if i didn't get it done now, he'd get the short end of the stick this year. his birthday is not until june, but i wanted to do something special for him since everything has kind of been revolving around me for the last nine months. i also finished a friend's wedding gift, which i am SO excited about and love SO much and want to post photos of SO badly, but i can't/won't until the end of june so as not to ruin the surprise.

3. beautiful, perfect weather lately. maybe not perfect, it's been a bit breezy for my taste, but otherwise it's been SO lovely. the breeze does keep it from being too hot which i and my crazy hormonal metabolism do appreciate. i would go nuts if it were dreary and overcast or (heaven forbid!) rainy and i were cooped up in the house all day, so this is really nice.

nesting like nobody's business

2009-05-03T17:14:00.001-07:00

and the nursery is FINALLY done! well, except for one piece of artwork, but that can certainly wait. i love her room:

this is what i did for my birthday: hung the shelf over her dresser, painted and assembled the shelves in her closet, set up the pack & play downstairs, and cooked like a madwoman. i also did laundry and some light cleaning, the usual weekend chores. my coworkers also took me out to lunch on friday and brian took me to lunch on saturday. we are both pretty beat lately, him from work and me from being pregnant, that neither one of us had the energy to make a big to-do for my birthday. i didn't really mind because of all those things that were nagging at me to get done before the kiddo arrives, and i'm generally happiest working on a project or six. thank heavens for this manic nesting energy or nothing would be done.

my freezer is also (i hope) fully stocked for the next few weeks. brian does not cook at all and while he can happily eat fast food and take-out for every meal, i would prefer something healthier and home-cooked. now in my freezer there are currently three turkey dinners (turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, and vegetables), six turkey pot pies, three bacon & leek quiches, two lasagnas (including a vegetarian one in case kiddo is here when my sister comes over), and one dish of stuffed shells. this is in addition to our usual assortment of chicken, ham, steak, fish, and frozen vegetables that i can pull out and thaw at a moment's notice. my mother told me that when i was born, she and my father ate from their freezer for six weeks. dad only had to go to the store for milk and lettuce. six weeks is a lot to live up to, i don't know if we will make it that far, but i'm trying. so now all brian has to do is take something out of the freezer in the morning, leave it to defrost, and stick it in the oven. i even wrote instructions on the labels.

i'm sure i could find more to do, but i think i'm going to go put my feet up with a good book or watch a movie. besides, brian is bringing me home a baskin robbins milkshake and i don't want to miss that.

cross-posted at baby stenz

green birthday/earth day giveaway winner!

2009-05-01T05:21:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to me! thanks to those of you who participated in my green birthday giveaway. and the winner is... sherry at this young house! sherry, send me your address so i can pop your prize in the mail to you (i'm assuming the "mommy" prize, as you have no babies yet?).

again, thank you to everyone who participated. i actually really enjoy doing these giveaways, so hopefully i will come up with an idea for another one (and the time to do it after the kiddo comes) soon.

maternity leave

2009-04-30T18:13:00.000-07:00

this week i am thankful:

1. that i am FINALLY out on maternity leave!! don't get me wrong, i love my job. i'm thankful that i have one and that it is a job that i really enjoy. and they were so sweet today, bringing me balloons and a plant and cake for my birthday. but - being pregnant is HARD WORK. it is exhausting. and then to go to work full-time on top of that? i don't know how those women do it, the ones who work right up until their due date. i have been counting the minutes until i went out on leave and finally i am OUT!

2. for time to get kiddo stuff done, at last. even though i am not working for a paycheck, unfortunately i am still working. there is just so much crap to do to get ready for the kid. her room is still not done but will hopefully be finished this weekend. i have a ton of cooking i want to get done to fill up our freezer also, since brian is completely clueless in the kitchen and has not desire to learn. if i have the time and energy, there is cleaning that i would like to get done too. do you know how long it has been since i cleaned my refrigerator? you don't want to know. it's embarassing, and my mother is coming. oy.

3. that so many people were so generous in giving us gift cards. last night we purchased the necessary baby things that we did not have yet (changing pad, diaper pail, valves for the breast pump, nail clippers, et cetera) and DAMN that stuff is expensive. i know the amount of money it takes to raise a baby to adulthood is obscene, somewhere on the order of $1 million or something? still. she is not even here yet.

random things i am learning lately

2009-04-27T11:41:00.000-07:00

don't forget to enter my green birthday giveaway! you have until 8pm pdt on wednesday, april 29, 2009. it's awesome, and who doesn't like free?

- cats have no eyebrows, which is why they seem so inscrutable sometimes.

- the "bcbg" (as in bcbgmaxazria) stands for bon chic, bon genre, how yuppies were referred to in france back in the 1980s. bon chic, bon genre means "good style, good class."

- king abdullah of jordan likes riding motorcycles!

- there is no universally agreed-upon plural for the word platypus. scientists use platypuses or just platypus. platypi is often used colloquially though it is considered "psuedo-latin" and the word is actually from the greek; the greek plural would be platypodes.

- compote is very similar to jam, but it is cooked with less sugar and the fruit generally retains it's texture and consistency.

- about mortise and tenon joints in particular and joinery in general. in a completely academic manner, of course.

it's 3:30 am, do you know where your cat is?

2009-04-26T08:54:00.000-07:00

don't forget to enter my green birthday giveaway! you have until 8pm pdt on wednesday, april 29, 2009. it's awesome, and who doesn't like free?

i know where mine was:

this, of course, was about 20 minutes after he had decided to vomit in the middle of the carpet.

on the one hand, i guess it's good practice for having kids. and that spathophyllum was slowly dying so needed to be replaced soon anyway. on the other hand, the [human] toddler that would generally get into this kind of trouble would also usually sleep through the night, right?

vanilla crème with fresh berry jam

2009-04-23T13:51:00.000-07:00

don't forget to enter my green birthday giveaway! you have until 8pm pdt on wednesday, april 29, 2009. it's awesome, and who doesn't like free?

this week i am thankful for:

1. my husband, who is not only completely awesome but also totally random. he makes my life happy.

2. a break from the heat we've been having.

3. this awesome deliciousness:

what are those beautiful things, you ask? only A LITTLE PIECE OF HEAVEN especially on a hot day. it's vanilla crème with fresh berry jam, so insanely easy to make and so fabulous. i know, i'm such a foodie. did i mention how good it is?

i had leftover rhubarb and strawberries (how do i always end up overbuying produce?) so i made a compote, fully intending to freeze it for spooning on ice cream later in the summer. instead it got spooned over the crème. to make the compote i just mixed about 4 cups of chopped rhubarb and strawberries (total) with about ½ cup of sugar and let it stand about 15 minutes, until the juices started to run out of the rhubarb. i brought it to a boil and simmered it on the stove for about 10-15 minutes, then let it cool and chilled it in the fridge. yum.

this dessert (or lunch, or dinner, or midnight snack, or, or, or) is delicious with any kind of berries. last summer i made it with mixed berries. SO GOOD. why do i not make this more often? brian is not hugely into fruit desserts so i get to eat all of these. HECK YEAH BABY.