Danulai's Journal

A Whole Lot of Nothing

2009-07-03T21:37:00.003-05:00

Wow, has it been nearly a month since I last posted? It's been too much of an effort lately to organize myself into paragraphs and write it all down. But I know that I'll be sad if I don't have a written record of this time to look back on, so that's why I'm making the effort tonight.

We've mostly been spending our time settling into our new house and keeping up with Little P. The kid can run now, so it's not as easy to blog. He's also a strong, fearless climber, so you can't let him go into his bedroom or around a corner alone otherwise he'll be scaling some surface or another. Today he's been teething with molars so he's been extra cranky and needy, but recently we've seen his real personality developing and it's been wonderful. He's so smart, so happy, so inquisitive. He follows us around imitating the things we do. He's jargoning with a few real words mixed in. He's so much fun.

We've been slowly unpacking. It's hard with P around. We've been taking more walks and enjoying our neighborhood. Our immediate area is quiet and residential with two parks nearby. One just has tennis courts and basketball hoops, but the other has a playground, a wading pool, and a small pond. There's a grocery store and some restaurants nearby. It's about a mile and a half from the downtown-ish area of Bay View, which is the Milwaukee neighborhood we're living in. It's the perfect length for a leisurely weekend walk or a quick bike ride. I keep hugging Mike and saying, "I love our house!" Even though it's small, it's ours. Mike's been busy planting flowers outside while I've been trying to get things set up indoors. I have lots of plans and projects in mind.

My work situation is still in limbo. I have a signed contract, but no information about where I'll be working, the hours, the age of the kids, or *gulp* the pay. I'm nervous. I hope to get more information soon (although "soon" will probably be "mid-August"). But at least I have a job. Right now, a lot of people don't. I just have to keep that in mind.

So, yeah. Not a lot has been going on. It's been dull, but pleasant.

2009-06-08T20:21:00.002-05:00

Jeez, it's been awhile, huh?

Well, Mike and I closed on the house. We're thrilled to get it. I already emailed all of my friends and family to give them our new address even though we won't be staying there full-time until next week. I took pictures of the living room and the carpet and the paint chips I'm thinking about using, but I accidentally packed the USB cord for my camera so you'll all have to believe me that it'll be awesome. I'm thinking of a bright peach. Our living room (actually, every room) is really small and I figured peach would give it some color and also brighten it up. I felt kind of silly, though, because in middle school I thought that the color combination of peach and sea green was the shit. I thought that when I got older I'd have a house that was totally peach and sea green and beige and it would be all done up in a southwestern motif. And now my prediction will come 1/3 of the way true.

We have to strip off the wallpaper first. I'm dreading that. We're also trying to figure out how to finish fencing in our yard for less than the $1200 the contractor quoted us. I'm dreading that too.

Speaking of dread, it's my last full week of school. My last day is the 16th. You'd think that the fact that I'm leaving would make me more mellow, but I've become terrified of having my paperwork mistakes discovered. This year I've made more than my share. It doesn't matter that I helped umpteen kids and their families, the only thing my supervisor cares about is the fact that I forgot to check an option on box 7 of page 6A. I'm so tense that if I think about it too much I can't sleep, can't eat, can't even breathe. I don't know how I'll get through the next week.

This summer, though, is going to be great. Settling into our new house, being back in Milwaukee, and having the whole summer to spend with Mike and P. I can't wait.

Rings

2009-05-25T13:09:00.002-05:00

Even though it's been a year since I've been pregnant my left ring finger still hasn't returned to its normal size. That means that I haven't been able to wear my wedding rings. I've been wearing a ring with white sapphires that I got last year, but the longer I wear it the less I like it. I thought about re-sizing my wedding rings, but after talking to the jeweler I decided to wait. She said that multiple re-sizings can damage the rings, so I figured I'd wait until I'm done having kids, and then get them re-sized once and for all.

In the meantime I've been considering getting a replacement. I'm not looking to spend a ton of money on my decoy wedding ring, but I do want something unique. I found all of these on Overstock.com for fifty dollars or less apiece.

I've been drawn to smoky quartz lately. It's so pretty and different. I liked these three examples.

I also like the simplicity and small size of this ring, but I'm not crazy about the color.

I am crazy, however, about the color of this ring. It's orange sapphire. Again, it's pretty and different.

I don't know if I'll buy anything, but it's something to think about.

This is motherhood

2009-05-23T21:01:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I was answering an email while P was playing nearby. He had his back to me and I heard him saying, "Ma...ma...ma...ma...ma..." I glanced over and he wasn't calling me or upset in any way...he was just saying my name over and over.

I marveled at that - it was almost like he was just enjoying the sound of my name. I wondered if saying it reminded him of me, and brought him a feeling of safety and security. I felt so happy that I could make him feel so safe and so warm. I went over to him to give him a little hug.

And then I saw that he wasn't saying my name - he was just opening his mouth over and over so he could blow bubbles with his spit.

Thanks, kid.

P turned twelve months old this week. It's amazing what he can do. He walks easily and is learning to run. He can climb on the furniture. He's learning to use a spoon and fork and is mastering drinking from a lidless cup without spilling any on himself. He's started scribbling (although we don't usually let him have scribbling implements yet). He also uses these words consistently:

Mama (my name, not just the spit-blowing noise)
Dada
No (that one's charming)
Vroom (the car noise)
Good (Mike and I are split on this one - Mike insists that he uses this word when he's enjoying his food, and I say it's more the sound he makes when he's using his tongue to propel food backward in his mouth)
Ba (Mike says he uses this for bottle, but I haven't heard it)

I can't wait to see what comes next.

Wow

2009-05-17T21:01:00.003-05:00

Yesterday we had P's first birthday party. On Wednesday he officially turns one year old.

Tomorrow I'm going to call the HR department and arrange a time to sign my contract for my new job next year.

Also tomorrow Mike is faxing in the last of our paperwork to complete our mortgage.

In less than two weeks I'll have a contract for a new job, if all goes well with the appraisal we'll have a new house, and we'll officially be the parents of a toddler.

It feels like things are changing so fast. Hopefully it'll all lead to bigger and better things.

Fun at the Park

2009-05-09T13:22:00.005-05:00

The weather has been nice lately and we've been going to a park near our apartment. I love going to the park because P can run around as much as he likes without breaking anything, and be as loud as he likes without me worrying about bothering the neighbors.

When P is at the park he's making noise almost continually. Sometimes he'll call, "Mama!" or "Dada!" but mostly it's just an excited, "Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

P isn't too sure about grass. Last summer he was too young to do much on the grass, and by the time he was scooting and crawling it was too cold to play outside. I guess grass feels dramatically different from carpet, cement, and the other synthetic ground coverings he's used to. Yesterday when we went to the park he touched it voluntarily, which was good.

Today when we went to the park it had rained in the morning, and he discovered mud. He had no qualms about touching that, believe me.

He's smiling almost constantly at the park.

He likes to climb up the slides...or try to, anyway. When there are no other kids around, we let him. He never gets anywhere, but he burns off some energy.

This is what you usually see...the back of him. He runs around exploring, and you just try to keep up.

I get weirdly emotional at the park. I guess it's partially because he looks so grown-up walking around, climbing on things, fearlessly exploring, swinging, sliding, and everything else. Plus I see all the other kids and realize that in a few years, P will be like them. Part of me wants to hold him at this age forever, but part of me can't wait to see what comes next.

More house news

2009-05-02T21:13:00.002-05:00

Today Mike and I had the inspection on the house we want to buy.

The inspection went well. The bank won't let us have our loan unless it passes inspection, and there's only one thing that might prevent that...peeling paint on the 1940s-era garage. Our real estate agent told the owner that she could just paint it before the assessor came, and it would pass for our loan. She seemed willing to do it - she and her husband are moving into a senior apartment as soon as they sell the house, so they're motivated to get this sale over and done with. The rest of the inspection went great, though...the house was built in the 40s but was really well-maintained. The guy that lives there does maintenance for a nearby school, and the inspector said that it's clear he knew what he was doing when he took care of the house.

There were a few minor things that were wrong. One was a few loose tiles in the bathroom. The inspector recommended just pulling the loose ones up and gluing them back on. However, it's not as water-tight as we thought, so that will postpone our plans to put in a shower. He said that if we wanted to re-do the tiles, because of the way they're glued on we shouldn't try to pry them off one by one. Instead we should just tear the walls down to the studs and build them back up. "It's no big deal," he said. However, tearing any wall down to the studs sounds like a gigantic deal to me. I have friends who tear up walls or floors or bathrooms with amazing casualness. To me, the very idea is terrifying.

Mike and I are getting excited as we get closer and closer to actually getting the house. "I can finally change our own oil," I said. "No more waiting in line to drop $30 at Jiffy Lube. Now that we have a garage I can do it myself."

"And I'll be able to take a sewing class," Mike said, "so I can finally start using our sewing machine."

I just looked at him. "Our gender roles are completely reversed," I said.

We have to finish up with our loan, and the sellers have to call out the assessor. And then...I'm not sure what. It's all going pretty fast. I guess in this housing market everyone wants to just finish up as long as they have a buyer.

Possible House

2009-04-26T10:55:00.002-05:00

Mike and I have looked at quite a few houses lately, and we've settled on one. It's small, just over 860 square feet. And from a cosmetic standpoint, it's got that old-person-stuck-in-the-70s vibe. But the roof, furnace, electric system, and air conditioning are newer. The kitchen and bathroom were remodeled within the past few years. The appliances are newer and can be included in the sale. The neighborhood is safe. There are two big parks and a library within walking distance. It's in Bay View, which is a nice active neighborhood in Milwaukee, but isn't as rowdy as the East Side, where we used to live.

So, yes. This is terrifying.

My mom asked me if my friends were nervous about buying a house. I don't think they were, at least not as nervous as I am. But a lot of my friends bought houses a few years ago during the crazy housing market when people were being pre-approved for tons of money and everyone was saying, "Yeah, yeah, buy a house!" After the housing crash it was kind of sobering. But I've run the numbers again and again, and we can afford it. It's just kind of scary.

Hopefully we'll get in tomorrow to talk to our agent and make the offer. We'll see how it goes.

In other news, yesterday I wore a pair of capri pants that I wore before I was pregnant. Hooray! That made my day.

Spring Break Recap

2009-04-20T16:31:00.002-05:00

Spring break was so much fun. Now I have such a stressful week that almost all of the relaxation of spring break has been erased, but it was still a fun week.

Monday and Tuesday were taken up with Mike's appointments, one to the allergist and one to the dentist. On Wednesday, despite not hearing from the bank about our loan pre-approval, we went to look at a house. The house wasn't good for us, but the real estate agent was very nice and knowledgeable about the area we were looking in. We met with him on Thursday. In the space of two hours we had signed a buyers' agency contract, applied for and been pre-approved for a mortgage through Coldwell Bankers, and were walking off with a handful of fliers for houses around the area. It made my head spin. We toured some more homes on Saturday but we're still looking for the right house.

On Friday I had the most fun. I went to visit my friend Meghan, and we went to the park. I was shocked at how much P could do there! I figured he'd just look around at the people and scenery, but he was so active. He walked around giggling, climbed stairs, went on the baby swing, even went down some slides. Meghan's son is almost exactly on year older than P, and it was so cool to see where P might be in a year (although her son is clearly gifted intellectually, so it might not be a fair comparison).

This week is going to be insanely busy with tests and meetings. I'd love nothing more than to go tour houses every night, but that's not going to happen. Luckily next week I have a personal day on Monday and all-day training on Tuesday and Wednesday, so it'll be a short week. I can't wait until summer.

Wish List

2009-04-15T21:47:00.002-05:00

So, Jen wanted to know what requirements I had for a house. Here's my wish list, which might be different than Mike's.

In Milwaukee. This is a pretty strict requirement because I'll need to live in Milwaukee for my new job. My wish would be to live in the Bay View neighborhood, or on the East Side.

I would like it to have three bedrooms, or a good enough basement/attic that I could turn it into a room.

I want a house with character, not a 1950s-era box. If that means we get a fixer-upper, that's okay. In fact, I'd like a fixer-upper. It would be a good project.

I want to somehow mitigate the lead paint issue. I want it to have:
- newer windows and door frames, so the lead won't be an issue OR
- a location within Milwaukee's lead paint abatement zones, so we can get funding to have the windows and doors replaced OR
- no lead paint to begin with

A nice little yard for P to play in.

Of course, this is all hinging on whether we get our loan. Apparently the bank is behind on its paperwork, because every time we call they say, "We'll know in two days!" I have little hope. But I suppose it's good to think about these things, because we'll get a loan someday.

Spring Break - Woo!

2009-04-14T10:30:00.004-05:00

I'm on spring break this week, and I can't believe how the week has filled up already. Between doctors' appointments for me and Mike, going to look at a house, and visiting family, there's barely time to do any relaxing. At least I get to sleep in until about 7 AM every morning.

I called the Local Gigantic School District to let them know that it's been three weeks, and I have yet to hear from Human Resources. It turns out the reason I haven't heard from HR is because they forgot to send my paperwork down there. NICE. I have a lot of faith in this job. I'll call in another two weeks to make sure my papers found their way down to HR. I've never worked so hard to get hired in my life.

I'm visiting my parents at the end of the week. It turns out that my dad has some medical tests that day. He's been seeing some flashes of light, and apparently his doctor thinks he might have had some mini-strokes. However, one of my aunts had the same thing and said that they were precursors to migraine headaches. Still, it kind of freaks me out. My dad is extremely healthy and I never thought he'd have a stroke. Hopefully the tests will show that everything is fine.

I'm visiting my OB/GYN this week too. I plan to ask her why I haven't resumed ovulating after Little P's birth, and what I need to do to have a chance of conceiving another child this fall. I'm starting to get pretty concerned.

All in all, though, I'm enjoying my break. It's so nice not to have to work for a week.

Busy

2009-04-07T19:31:00.002-05:00

Things have been busy lately.

I got a verbal job offer from Local Gigantic School District on March 20th. I’ve been waiting for Human Resources to contact me about signing a contract. Since it’s been about two weeks I gave them a call.

“I have to let my current job know if I’m going to renew my contract by April 15th,” I said to the secretary for the Student Services department, the department where I’d be working. “I know you’re busy, and I know they’re backed up in HR, but is there any way I could see a contract before the 15th?”

“Oh, no,” she said. “No no no. It takes much longer than that.”

“How long?” I asked.

“Well, in another week or so HR will send you a letter saying they completed a background check,” she said. “Then after that you’ll get another letter asking you to go get a physical. After the physical you should be asked to come in for a contract signing in about four weeks.”

“Four WEEKS?” I asked.

“It’s actually more like six,” she said calmly. “But the first letter will have a sentence that says, ‘You have been offered a job with Milwaukee Public Schools.’ Will that suffice for whatever you need?”

“Well, what I need is some assurance that I’ll have a job next year,” I said.

“Oh, you’ll have a job,” she replied. “Don’t worry about that. We need our people. We wouldn’t offer you a job and then not follow through. We wouldn’t do you like that.”

I sighed. A friend of mine had been done like that, offered a job and then never given a contract. But she was a teacher and I’m an SLP. Hopefully the need for people in my field will ensure that I’ll have a position next fall.

It is scary, though, to relocate back to Milwaukee without an ironclad document saying that I’ll be employed. Hell, it’s scary to re-sign our lease here without an ironclad document saying that I’ll be employed. My co-workers and my dad, who works for a school, assure me that I have nothing to worry about and that I will have a job. But it’s still scary.

Since Mike and I will be moving this summer we’ve started looking into housing. We applied for a home loan from our credit union. We look like a horrible risk on paper. Even though the loan payment would be less than our current rent, I cringed when I filled out the blanks saying how long I’d been at my job (eight months), how long I had lived at my current address (ditto), and Mike’s income (nothing). There is no blank saying, “The co-applicant does not work because he is a stay-at-home father.” Instead he just looks unemployed. There is another type of loan we might qualify for if we don’t get this one, but I have a hunch that at the end of the day we won’t qualify for anything. How depressing.

The house we’re interested in is a cute 1920s bungalow on Milwaukee’s south side. If everything works out, it would be perfect. But I doubt it’ll work out.

In the meantime, though, Little P does all he can to distract us. He’s walking a lot now, even though he still gets around mostly by crawling. Half the time I think he says “Mama” and “Daddy” intentionally. There are times where it just seems to be on purpose. And there are other times where he’ll be climbing on the furniture saying, “Mamamabababadada,” and I know it doesn’t mean anything. He’s so smart though, the way he notices everything and figures things out. I know that real language will happen soon. He’s happy, and that’s what matters most.

SoFoBoMo

2009-03-25T19:55:00.003-05:00

Remember a few years ago when my friend Dave and I got some people together and took a photo every day for the month of March and called it the Focal Plane Challenge?

Well, apparently some other people got together and decided to do it in May and June and call it the Solo Photo Book Month.

Bastards.

But their effort is really big, and ours was really small, and so I'm jumping on their bandwagon. It'll be fun because the weather will be nicer in May and I might get some good outdoor shots of Little P.

The thing that makes this different, though, is that you have to make a photo book out of your pictures. You don't really need to publish it - a PDF file is all you need to submit - but I have no idea how to do that. But I have Photoshop and hopefully some time on my hands this summer, and so I'll learn.

This will be fun!

Pointing Fingers

2009-03-23T20:49:00.004-05:00

This weekend I had some gastroenteritis. I was miserably sick. I spent most of my weekend trying to avoid spreading my contagion.

One of the things I did was avoid touching Little P. It was hard not to cuddle or kiss him. One of the things I did to interact with him a little was teach him to point. It was a lot like doing therapy with one of my kids. He had a pretty good idea of pointing by Saturday evening, and by tonight he was doing it consistently. I was giving him tiny bits of sherbet, and he pointed at the dish before each one. He's pointed at things that interest him before, but not to request items. I was almost giddy this evening about this because it was such intentional communication.

It makes me wonder, though, how much non-special-educator parents really explicitly teach their kids, and how much they allow them to soak things up naturally. I've avoided doing things like this because I don't want to interfere with his natural development, but I suppose all parents teach their kids things. I'm used to helping kids whose communication systems are disordered. I'm afraid, though, of meddling too much with a normal kid and somehow screwing things up.

I guess I shouldn't worry. I suppose anything and everything he learns at this age is beneficial.

Role reversal

2009-03-16T19:49:00.002-05:00

Little P learned a new trick - feeding me a Cheerio.

Philo feeds Mama from Christine C on Vimeo.

Philo feeds Mama 2 from Christine C on Vimeo.

Unfortunately the video quality is really bad - we took it with my digital camera since it was the only thing nearby. It's cute though!

A boring recap of my boring weekend

2009-03-15T20:07:00.002-05:00

Boring is kind of nice, though.

On Saturday we didn't do much. We went to K-Mart to get food for the kid and to see if we could get Mike's hair cut at the Cost Cutters in the strip mall (alas, the line was too long). Then in the afternoon I went to Confession while Mike and P waited around for Mass to start.

If you aren't Catholic just take my word for it...Confession is a weird experience. Not many people do Confession on a regular basis, so while you wait around for your turn in the Confessional you just look around and wonder what everyone else did that was bad enough to make them feel the need to confess. At least, that's what I do. I suppose I'm supposed to be sitting quietly, meditating and making my soul ready to receive the sacrament of Reconciliation. Instead I'm just wondering what everyone else is in for.

Afterward we attended Mass. I like going to Mass on Saturday evening. We had the crying room all to ourselves except for one other family who had kids that were way rowdier than P. That made me feel good. Unfortunately P kept going over to the windows to the crying room, looking out, and saying "DAA DAA DAA YAA YAA" really loudly. I hope the crying room is more soundproofed than it looks.

Today was beautiful so we took a walk downtown.

There's a big Civil War monument downtown. There aren't very many Civil War monuments in Wisconsin. I remember years ago when I visited Atlanta, it seemed like very other building was a historical Civil War site. Wisconsin has relatively few. This one was impressively tall, though.

I like the sign on this building. In case you can't tell, the circle on the left is a globe, and the circle on the right is a picture of a cruise ship.

This was on the side of a building built in 1924. It had seals for all the wars. This one says, "The Great War for Civilization, 1917." They mean World War I. They probably never thought there would be a second war that large.

Little P slept through most of our walk.

Later on the weather was still so beautiful that we took a walk around our neighborhood. When we came back we found this bird sitting on the roof of our apartment building.

I think it's a hawk, but I'm not sure. I sent photos to my mom for confirmation.

All in all, it was a nice weekend.

More Philo Progress

2009-03-12T20:50:00.002-05:00

Philo's learned a few more tricks. Since we don't have a calendar to record these things on, I record them in my blog.

This weekend we let Philo feed himself. You can see the results in the picture above...not pretty. But the second time we let him do it, he started dipping the spoon into the food and then putting the spoon in his mouth. He didn't get much - the scooping motion a spoon requires is beyond him - but he has the idea of what a spoon is for. I was impressed because I read that most kids his age have no idea and just shovel the food in with their hands.

He started pointing when he sees something he likes. So far he just points at picture frames when he's standing on the couch, but it's so neat to see him giggling and pointing.

He still says mummm and dadadada randomly, although I have noticed more mummmm's when he's near me and more dadadada's when he's near Mike. It might be wishful thinking though. Lately he's been saying GUMMMMMM, maybe because the first ten or twenty times we laughed and praised him. Or maybe he just likes how "gum" sounds.

He's been taking a step or two for awhile now. Last night he took five consecutive steps, and this evening he took sixteen steps in a row. He's excited about his new skill, and for the rest of the night he was pushing off enthusiastically from the couch, taking two steps, and face planing. Easy does it, Little P.

After he went to sleep I sighed and said to Mike, "Our little baby's becoming a little toddler."

He responded by launching into the chorus of "Cat's In The Cradle."

Thanks, Mike. I feel real good about going to work tomorrow.

He's growing up fast. He'll be a year old in May. I can't believe it.

House Lust

2009-03-07T21:21:00.002-06:00

Mike and I are tossing around the idea of moving back to Milwaukee. We aren't sure that it'll be feasible, but it's what we'd really like to do.

As long as we were tossing around the idea of moving, we started tossing around the idea of buying a house instead of renting. We just finished off paying off our credit cards, so the only real debt we have is our student loans. Mike's credit has skyrocketed. So what better way to celebrate good credit by going into a huge pile of debt?

It's all very tentative, but buying a house is serious business and we don't know anything. So I figured we should start keeping an eye on real estate listings in the neighborhoods we liked so we could understand what we can get for what money. That way we will know a good deal when we're looking for real.

Makes sense, right? For most people, yeah. But not for us. We can't look at houses without wanting them now, immediately, YESTERDAY. When we find something we like we feel like we must pounce on it because no house that wonderful will ever be for sale again in our lifetime. I envy my friends who casually attended open houses, planning for the day they'd buy one of their own. I walk into a house and just want to say, "Hey, walls and a roof! Looks good! Where do I sign?" We were endlessly picky about finding an apartment because we'd have to live there for a whole year. But we're willing to jump right into thirty years of mortgage payments without a second thought.

We've been keeping an eye on the listings. We found some houses that we liked, that we could see ourselves in, but nothing earth-shattering. That is, until this week. When I found a house that would be PERFECT. It's in the Bay View neighborhood, which is the family-friendly version of the East Side, the hipster neighborhood we used to live in. It's within walking distance of a library, a grocery store, and a baseball field. It's on a bus line. It's next to a gym, and across the street from a bar and a church.

And the house itself? Well, it's a typical Milwaukee house. Small yard, not much square footage. But it's cute, built in 1912 and has its original woodwork. It is definitely a fixer-upper, but Mike always wanted to fix up a house. And the price is swoon-worthy.

Unfortunately we have a lease that won't let us out until July, and we can't afford house payments as well as rent for five months. Plus we have no idea if we'd even qualify for a home loan. So it's probably not even worth thinking about this house.

Or checking the listing five times a day.

Or calling the agent to set up a showing.

Which I already did.

I wonder if they'd just hold it for us for five months?

Albums Meme

2009-02-23T19:30:00.003-06:00

15 Life Changing Albums Meme

Think of 15 albums that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life or the way you looked at it. They sucked you in and took you over for days, weeks, months, years. These are the albums that you can use to identify time, places, people, emotions. These are the albums that no matter what they were thought of musically, shaped your world. Elaborate as you wish.

I don't know if any albums shaped my world or changed how I saw things, but I do have a few CDs that remind me of certain places and times. So I'll write about those.

Arrested Development - 3 Years, 5 Months, and 2 Days In The Life Of...
This was my first-ever album. I got it on tape because I loved the song "Mr. Wendall." I have no idea what it is about country kids and hip-hop, but we loved it. I listened to the hip-hop station coming out of Milwaukee, and my middle school years were spent listening to Salt'n'Pepa, Snoop Dogg, House of Pain, Cypress Hill, and others. This was the only album I ever bought, though.

The Wallflowers - Bringing Down the Horse
My first CD. I listened to it in high school but re-discovered it in a big way in college. It was moody and brooding and I just about burned a hole in the CD. I still remember listening to "God Don't Make Lonely Girls" while walking home from my part-time college job.

Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers - Greatest Hits
I bought this CD one summer while I was on vacation with my family when I was between my freshman and sophomore years in college. I liked "Freefallin'" so I thought I'd like the rest of the CD. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers soon became my favorite band.

Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers - Great Wide Open
I bought this CD when I was a senior in college and I was sharing an apartment with my friends Megan and Erica. It still reminds me of that. I still remember cranking up this CD and sitting on our back porch at night, smoking cherry-flavored cigarillos and brooding. I spent a good chunk of my undergraduate years brooding.

Dave Matthews Band - Before These Crowded Streets
My gosh, did anyone who was going to college in the 90s and early 2000s not have at least one DMB album? This was one of my favorites, and I listened to it over and over in grad school. I had this tiny studio apartment in a building that was half apartments, half bowling alley (really, literally) and I spent a lot of time sitting around, staring out my window, and thinking while listening to this album.

Flogging Molly - Drunken Lullabies
I bought this CD in grad school and I loved it partially because nobody else I knew listened to Irish punk music. I was such a rebel! Still, songs like "Another Bag of Bricks" and "Rebels of the Sacred Heart" kept me company as I walked the half-mile from campus to my tiny studio apartment.

Counting Crows - August and Everything After
Another CD I listened to incessantly in grad school. "Round Here," "Omaha," and "Mr. Jones" blew my mind, and I never felt deeper than when I listened to "Time and Time Again." The song "Anna Begins" was hitting a little close to home, though.

New Blind Nationals - Bury the Pattern
This was an album that was put out by the band Mike was with when he was in his early twenties. It was a good time for him, when he was running around the country playing in little clubs, going into debt to buy more music equipment, and generally having an awesome time. He gave me a copy of this CD when we were dating and I think I only listened to it once because it was really, really loud. But I knew it was a big part of his past and since I wanted to learn everything I could about him I listened to it while I put up my Christmas tree in 2005.

Mix CD - Philo's Mix
I listened to this while I was pregnant commuting an hour each way to my old job in Illinois. I thought Little P might be able to hear the music so I listened to that same CD for weeks and weeks. Songs like "Wagon Wheel" by Old Crow Medicine Show and "All Right For Now" by Tom Petty still remind me of being pregnant.

Paul Simon - Graceland
This was a recent one. Mike introduced me to it when he, P and I were on a Labor Day trip to the Dells. I still listen to it because it reminds me of summer, driving around with my husband and my baby, happy.

Little P Update

2009-02-22T19:13:00.003-06:00

It's been a little while since I've updated about Little P. He turned nine months old on Friday. His baby days are numbered.

He's doing well. He's so much more mobile than he was before. He crawls really fast, cruises by walking and hanging onto the furniture, and stands without hanging onto anything. He's even taken a couple of steps, which is both exciting and nerve-wracking. I'm not sure if I want him to be more mobile than he is already.

He's started eating Cheerios and Gerber Puffs by himself. He picks them up with two fingers, practicing that pincer grasp. He also can lift a sippy cup and drink by himself, and he can drink from a cup without a lid if we help him. He looks so grown-up during meal times. It's been great because now instead of trading off eating and watching the baby, now I feed P while Mike cooks dinner, and then we let him eat Cheerios and water while we eat. It's nice to have a family dinner time.

His language skills aren't as advanced. He doesn't seem to know his name (Mike thinks he does, but I don't think so) and he doesn't use any words. He babbles with all the vowels and the consonants, d, m, b, g, and t. He isn't waving at us yet, but we don't wave much at him so it could be that he just hasn't been exposed enough to learn. Surprisingly, he does know the word, "no." When we tell him "no" he pulls back from whatever he's doing, at least momentarily. So he has learned some degree of language. When we point at something he looks, so he also has the idea of shared attention, at least a little.

Most importantly, he's happy. He laughs and smiles all the time. We're pretty lucky.

Words of Wisdom

2009-02-20T21:12:00.002-06:00

I haven't had much time for blogging lately, so I just wanted to drop a few pearls of wisdom to various people that I've encountered lately.

To the kids in the lunch period that I supervise: Sit down and shut the hell up. Seriously. I know that you just "Have to get up even though yeah the rules say sit down but I just have to tell Jani that Traci saw Anni kissing Tommie and OH MY GAWWWWWWWD it's the biggest news EVAAARRRR" but I'm here to tell you that no. You don't. Just sit back down and stop screeching.

To my principal: Evaluations are only effective if you relay the results of your evaluation to the employee in less than three weeks. Way to drop the ball. At this point I'm just giving up on the dream of ever getting my results.

To Jon from Jon & Kate Plus Eight: Dude, stand up for yourself.

To Motts Organic Apple Juice: Stop being so gross.

To the Girls Next Door: Thanks a lot for breaking up one of my favorite shows. Was it really so bad being with Hef? Why do you have to break up?

To the telemarketer who called me last night: I really don't want to listen to you complain about how tough your job is now that the economy has tanked and nobody has money. I don't call your house and complain about my job, do I?

*sigh*

Ahhh...

2009-02-09T16:03:00.002-06:00

...Cherry Coke, you cure what ails me. Sweet, sweet caffeine.

I was reading my Twitter feed and someone I subscribe to mentioned that he wasn't feeling the economic crunch and that the President should re-check his math on that one. Maybe things are just better where he lives, but I'm definitely feeling the crunch from the economy. The most obvious thing is the number of people who have been laid off. This list includes:

- an old friend of mine
- my cousin's husband
- my aunt (because she watched my cousin's kids, and has now lost that income)
- Mike

Yeah, Mike. The bookstore he was doing web stuff for is going under, so no more work for him. Granted, it was extremely part-time, but still, the couple hundred bucks he earned every month was our running around, having fun money. And now we don't have it.

The city we live in seems to be feeling it too. At the mall there are now four huge, vacant stores. In the past six months local factories have cut hundreds of jobs. Even the school district I work for has announced that while they aren't cutting jobs, they also aren't going to fill all of the vacancies that will be made by retiring teachers.

So yeah, not everybody is having an economic crisis, but I think I am.

Arrrgh

2009-02-08T20:10:00.002-06:00

This afternoon I started having a killer headache. I tried eating something, drinking something, resting a bit, but nothing helped.

"Have you had caffeine today?" Mike asked.

"Ah!" I said. "No! That's it!"

Then I frowned. "Wait, that's not it. I didn't have caffeine on Saturday either."

"Withdrawal takes awhile," Mike said. "But it's the caffeine, for sure."

So I took some ibuprofen and waited it out. It's kind of scary that my body is relying on caffeine now. When I found out I was pregnant I barely had any caffeine throughout the pregnancy, and I avoided it all summer while I was breastfeeding. Even though I'm still nursing when I can, I need caffeine to function at work. But it is kind of scary how much you start to rely on it, and how your body can rebel once it's withdrawn. It made me wonder if I want to keep putting this substance in my body.

Good thing I'm only half-conscious on Monday mornings. It'll make it so much easier to down that Coca-Cola without an attack of conscience.

Bring in the noise, bring in the frump

2009-02-03T18:07:00.005-06:00

Mike and I did our taxes, and we're getting a good-sized return. It's enough to pay off our credit card bills with a good chunk left over. Mike reminded me that I'd said that when we pay off our credit cards we could get a Wii. And since we've been working diligently at paying them off for about a year I figured we finally earned our reward. So on Sunday we went and picked up a Wii.

Now, when you get a Wii you also create a little character to represent yourself in some of the games. The character is called a Mii since you make it look like you. I made my Mii, stood back...and hated it.

"Let me put new hair on her," I told Mike. "She looks frumpy."

I put new hair on her. Changed her lip color. Switched her glasses around. But she still looked frumpy.

Then I looked in the mirror and realized that the reason my Mii looks frumpy...is because I look frumpy. I have the practical mommy haircut, the wire-framed glasses, the oversized t-shirt that really belongs to Mike.

"Jeez," I muttered at the mirror, "when did that happen?"

I suppose it could have happened when I stopped getting any sleep at night because P still feels the need to get up every few hours. Or it could have been a subtle mental shift when I announced, "I don't care what I look like when I go out. I have my husband and I have my baby. I'm not trying to impress anyone. I've earned the right to wear this baggy sweater." Or when I began to regard painting my toenails to be the ultimate in self-care.

Really, though, it's probably a result of caring for everyone - my kid, my husband, my students - more than myself.

So I suppose I should make some changes. Mike would probably appreciate it. I'll appreciate it too when I can create a less depressing-looking Mii.

Signs of the Times

2009-01-25T16:12:00.002-06:00

Today Mike and I decided to start teaching P some sign language. Because he's such a budding genius.

He chews slippers at a fourth-grade level.

Seriously, though, he's a bright little guy and I've been concerned because his language development has stalled while he learns a new gross motor skill (standing without holding onto anything). So I thought I'd give his language skills a little kick in the butt.

Our friend Kathy loaned us a baby signing DVD, but you can't use it until the kid is 10 months old. P's too young but we tried it anyway, and while Mike and I obediently watched the tutorial little P chewed his toys and banged on our window. He didn't seem too interested.

I asked Mike to request another baby signing DVD from the library because I know some can be used at 6 months. In the meantime he decided to encourage signing his own way.

"I'm going to go take a shower," Mike said to P, fluttering his fingers and making a water-like sound. "Bloop-bloop-bloop-bloop."

P might end up signing yet.