Panzer Commander

Broken Hand

2008-09-12T18:40:00.002-04:00

For the second time in my life I know what it feels like to write with 1 hand....

During the season opener of Yorktown Freshmen Football I broke my hand.

What I thought was a bruised hand turned out to be a fairly serious fracture.

After going to the hospital and getting x-rays and seeing a hand surgeon we have figured out that I have fractured the metacarpal head...

Which doesn't sound that bad.

Unfortunately, a piece of bone has separated from the knuckle and is dangerously close to a growth plate in my hand so the hand surgeon cannot operate.

Next tuesday I will go in and get more x-rays to determine whether or not that piece of bone will be a problem.

Please take the time to read my facebook note.

Also if you didnt catch exactly where the fracture is feel free to check out my x-rays.

Indian Springs

2008-07-18T12:51:00.002-04:00

For the past 2 weeks there has been a camp that my sisters have gone to. I had district baseball tournaments so I couldn't attend. Until we lost the tourney. It was a dissapointing loss but it had a secret benefit. Now i could go to Indian Springs!

So, at 9:00 on tuesday evening, my mom, dad, and I hauled freight (11 hours) to get to Indian Springs. We arrived wednesday morning. Today is my last day of a truly incredible experience.

There has been talent shows, wonderful games, inspiring sermons, amazing worship; all in all an ideal summer camp.

Later, I will post pictures and link to the Indian Springs blog/website.

Dinner at the White House

2008-05-20T18:40:00.002-04:00

My mother was just called on behalf of Mrs. Laura Bush inviting my family to a movie at the White House. We will be watching Prince Caspian... in the White House private family theater.

Awesome!!!

Stuck in an Elevator

2008-05-16T13:33:00.003-04:00

Ok so I was heading down to get some quarters for the vending machine at a hotel in stotesbury.

I stepped into the elevator and pressed the "1" button. The door started to close and I heard a loud screech.
The door to the elevator then shut 9/10ths of the way so there was about 2 inches of light between the door and the wall.
The chamber descended.
Then it stopped.
Then, inch, by inch, by inch... it screeched lower and lower sliding downward.
I screamed.
Then, I gathered myself and tried to escape(after I called the police of course)
***NOTE TO PARENTS EVERYWHERE***
This is a very good reason to buy your child a cell phone.

Ok, so I tried to escape.
I got on the rails and tried to go out throught the top.
I'd like to say that it worked and I climbed out of the elevator by climbing up the cables...
It didn't.
Eventually the elevator magicaly opened.

the end.

Abortion T-Shirt

2008-05-01T17:47:00.005-04:00

No, this isn't the first time my sister and I have been in the principals office to debate our first amendment rights.

This is another case.

This Thursday was "National Pro-Life T-Shirt Day" My sister and I were both harassed about our shirts. Me and my sisters made a video to tell you all about it... so please spare 3 minutes and watch a very... polite... video describing last Thursday at my sisters elementary school.=)

Best Winning Strategy

2008-03-22T21:20:00.000-04:00

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

2008-03-09T12:10:00.001-04:00

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you decide. Theanswer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wifeand two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terroristwith a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyeswith you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raisesthe knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a 40 caliber Glock, and you are anexpert shot. You have mere seconds before he reachesyou and your family. What do you do?__________________________________________________
THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer thequestion!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspirehim to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knockthe knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built intoit?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kindof message does this send to society and to mychildren?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he becontent just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could myfamily get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, andmake this a happier, healthier street that woulddiscourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this withsome friends for few days and try to come to aconsensus.__________________________________________________

Republican's Answer:
BANG!

__________________________________________________
Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! Click
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those theWinchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'
Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"
Wife: "You're not takin' that to the Taxidermist

Thanks to:

Christina G.

Chuck Norris Rules

2008-02-28T20:13:00.002-05:00

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

When he does a pushup, hes not lifting himself up--- hes pushing the earth DOWN.

And I met him. Haha david.

Unfortunately the camera this picture was taken on is terrible quality but you can see us both.

Romney-- Now and then

2008-02-08T14:34:00.000-05:00

The first time I came to Cpac I met Mitt romney.

The second time I come I see him drop out.

Weird.

Next year--- well I dunno.

Last year:

This year: Mitt Romney's speech

I'll admit I was happy at first to hear Mitt would drop out (my mom "Knows people" and found out minutes before the speech) But it was really a class act. I realy can't stand romney but with that display it definitely changed my mind on his character.

Cpac

2008-02-07T14:51:00.000-05:00

So here I am at cpac.

I saw (live in person) romney drop out.

I heard his swan song.

Said he was dropping out for " The good of the republican party"

2 words: class act

Heres the pics:

Cpac 08!

2008-02-06T15:29:00.000-05:00

Finally! It's C-pac time!!!

Cpac is my favorite time of year:

1. Conservatives are there
2. I get to go
3. Because its a half day at school

Last time I went to Cpac I met Mitt Romney. Now(!) I'm going to see Huckabee.

Ps: Theres candy ;-)

70 things to do if you are going to fail a test

2008-02-05T15:12:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know this is a repost--- but I think these are funny so here they are again:

70 things to do if you are going to fail a test

1.Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam. 12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Crap this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go party.)

15. 15 min. into the test, randomly yell out so everyone can hear, “NO! FOR THE LAST TIME! YOU CAN’T CHEAT OFF MY TEST! 15 min. later yell out, “NO! YOU CANNOT DATE MY MOM!
16. Comment on how nice the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, old Bible. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach. 22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
24. Start running around in circles yelling “TEST? WHAT (BLEEP)ING TEST?
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E...."
34. Start sobbing. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #__ moved you, deeply.
35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect. 36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam. 37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen. 38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.
39. Repeat if necessary on someone different.
40. Come down with a BAD case of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Start writing, then yell out in pain, “OH MY GOSH, MY FRICKING HAND!” Point at the instructor. “YOU! YOU DID THIS TO ME!” Repeatedly threaten to sue.
41. Start singing. When asked to stop, calmly ask anyone else if they’d like to participate in “Karaoke Time”
42. Look at the test. Look at the ceiling as if waiting for someone. When asked what you are doing, yell out, “DANG IT! I KNEW THAT SWAT TEAM STOOD ME UP!”
43. Bring a glue stick. Glue anything you have with you onto the test. Pencils, pens, scissors, etc…
44. Bring a Darth Vader Helmet. Breathe very loudly like Vader does. When asked to stop, say to the instructor: “Jerry (name), I am your father”, then pull out a plastic saber and pretend to kill all the rebels… complete with sound effects.
45. Pretend to hit yourself in the head realllly hard. (Like walk into the test room door) Then fall down and pretend to be unconscious. 1 min later. Jump up screaming, “WHAT THE HECK!?? WHO AM I? WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?” If they don’t buy it, just pretend not to know all the answers: “WHAT IS THIS CRAP?”
46. Point at someone nearby. Yell out, “ s/he’s hyperventilating! I know CPR! Run over and start punching him on the chest. Repeatedly.
47. Fold the test into a paper airplane. Write “STEALTH FIGHTER” All over it. Throw it at the instructor. If he sees you, Ask for another test. Repeat if necessary.
48. Bring sunglasses with you to the test. Pretend to fall asleep. When told to wake up, say back to him, “Oh don’t worry, this is just a nightmare, I’ll wake up soon right back where I was last, in Hawaii.” Continue sunbathing.
49. Pull the fire alarm.
50. Scribble all over the test. Blame it on the guy next to you.
51. When handed the test, proudly say "Mee no speek eengleesh. Habla Espanol?"
52. Bring a football helmet(preferably redskins) When handed the test say. "DOWN ...SET...HUT.HUT" Ball the test up. Yell, "GO LONG," and throw it in the trash can. Then triumphantly yell: "TOUCHDOWN!!!"
53. Set the test on fire. Turn it in. Walk away.
54. Bring ketchup packets. Be creative.
55. Yell out, "CLOTHES ARE OVERRATED!" Dispose of any clothing. Run away.
56. Fold the test into a triangle and play tabletop football.
57. Say "LETS BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND!!!!" Detonate the pipe bomb in your desk.
58. Bring Diet Coke and some mint mentos. Put the mentos in the soda and aim the bottle at the instructor.
59. Play your PSP all during the class time periodically yelling out "OH MAN I LOST"
60. Have a panic attack when you receive the test: "AH! HELP ME ! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! I CAN'T DO IT!
61. No, just kidding, there is no 61.
62. Use a friend's cell phone(bonus points if its the instructors) and put a VERY annoying ring tone on it. Hide it in the ceiling. Then at the start of the test, repeatedly call the cell phone.
63.Volunteer to hand out all the tests ( say it very politely.) When the teacher agrees, set them all on fire.
64.Bring shaving cream. Shave using scissors.
65.Have a friend call you right in the middle of the test. Tell your teacher that you "Really gotta take this" and walk out.
66.Fill out the questions with a heavy duty extra strength sharpie. Fill out the test writing as hard as you can.
67. Gather as many facts as you can about martin luther king jr. Then recite them all. If the teacher asks you to stop, just yell:"I HAVE A DREAM!and continue. If asked to stop again just tell the teacher s/hes being racist.
68. Come decked out in camoflage with camo face paint and anything you have thats military related-- or is camo.
69. The next day comne in wearing a tuxedo. Then a really goofy hat/wig.
70. When asked to explain the unacceptable attire just start accusing the teacher of not having any "spirit week spirit"

These are VERY helpful. Remember, these can be used for many different test.

Thanks to Facebook group

End of the trail...

2008-01-28T21:06:00.000-05:00

End of the trail...

15.5//9.1//21//8.5//15.5//8//2.8//10.5 These are all the hours I've spent in our Huck-a-truck traveling over pretty much the entire east side of the US. That equals about 91 hours give or take a few. Whereas my mom, who flew in a private plane, racked up a rough total of an astounding 5 hours. Yeah mom tell us all about the rough trip.

5 kids+1 dad+ 91 hours together in a confined space= lots of advil.

1: We start. ( Easy enough, right?)

2: We went from where I live to Little Rock, Arkansas.

3: We went to Des Moines, Iowa.

4: We went to Manchester, New Hampshire.

5: We took a pit stop at home (yeah a 10 hour pit stop)

6:We went back to Little Rock.

7: After the loss in SC--- we head home... going through Alabama to visit our cousins.

8:Another stop in Georgia to visit more family(notice I'm deftly avoiding telling you exactly where we went.)

9:We return home. Total hours in car:91 hours.

Here's a nice map I did very roughly to give visual aid.

Well, so now our job with the campaign is over. Huckabee still has a chance-- but Super Tuesday will have the official word. I'll be liveblogging then...

PS: We had "HONK FOR HUCKABEE" Written on the back of our truck for the whole 91 hours. We lost count of how many honks we had. It seems most of them happened right when I was about to fall asleep. In one case, an 18-wheeler blew its airhorn at 1:15. In the morning. We figured the trucker supported Romney and just wanted to torture us.

Shout Out

2008-01-18T20:37:00.000-05:00

Shout Out

I've received multiple e-mails from people in my class and they want me to say hi. Hi. Ms. T if you are reading this: Hi. Feel free to comment guys. And no I don't have a facebook. No, I'm not dead. LB, I can assure I am most certainly alive. So this concludes my little shout-out.

And LB thanks for the spam- nothing like cleaning out 100's of spam emails. ;-)

Test

2008-01-18T17:07:00.001-05:00

Test for new server with more space than blogger

The Bikenhead Drill

2008-01-15T12:20:00.000-05:00

The Birkenhead Drill
The Birkenhead was a British troop ship that on January 8, 1852 set sail for Algoa Bay, which is off the coast of Africa. On board the ship there were about 640 men, women, and children. Many of these people were soldiers bound for the Kaffir wars. On February 26, around 2:00 am, the Birkenhead struck a ledge near Cape Danger. Within 20 minutes the boat would be entirely submerged surrounded by man-eating sharks. Like the Titanic disaster, there was calls for “Women and children first!” Unlike the Titanic not a single woman or child perished.
When the ship was finally doomed and all the women and children safe away in the lifeboats about 150 yards away, the captain(captain Salmond) ordered the men to jump and swim for their lives for the boats. At this point the three most senior officers under the command of captain Salmond : Lieutenant colonel Seton, Captain Wright, and Lieutenant Giradot corrected Captain Salmond’s order. They told the men to stay in rank. Not a single man left his position. Moments later the boat cracked in two and the stern was filled with water: sinking the ship. Many men were sucked under, but a lucky few made clear of the ship to try to swim ashore. Even fewer made it to the beach because of man-eating sharks. Some men came within 30 feet of survival only to be crushed by monstrous waves. More than 400 men perished, but not a single woman or child.
The Birkenhead Drill is a true story of bravery and disaster. And I think in some ways it can apply to our lives. In modern days there are some disasters, 9/11 for example. People die in life. That’s just how it is. The men on the Birkenhead chose a horrific, but heroic death. So did those firefighters and policemen. And especially those people in the planes, risking life to save the President. But the wives and sons and daughters moved on – in both disasters, the Birkenhead and 9/11. We still grieve over the lost loved ones. It’s hard to move on. But we do. And there are two things for sure: No one will ever forget the Birkenhead, and no one will ever forget September 11, 2001.

Bibliography
Phillips, Douglas. The Birkenhead Drill. San Antonio: the vision forum, 2002.

Broken Arm

2008-01-12T13:52:00.001-05:00

Skiing is dangerous... sorta...

You cant have 4 feet of snow in New Hampshire and not want to go skiing. So we did. We skied(spell check?) at Pats Peak in NH and had a blast for 6 hours.710 vertical drop, 1o lifts, and night skiing. It was awesome. I did 3 green squares(easy) 2 blue diamonds(moderate) 2 black diamonds(hard) and 1 double black diamond(experts only). I only wiped out once and that was on the double black diamond. At the end of the slope there is a monstrous jump to go off of. I jumped it and then came down wrong on my left wrist, fracturing my radius. I have a clean break so the doc won't have to set the bones into place. But it's all good and I'm in a splint. I'll get a hard cast on monday. The x-ray pictures will be up soon, blogger has an error so it might take a bit.

Iowa Caucus

2008-01-02T23:56:00.000-05:00

Iowa Caucus

Tomorrow the Iowa caucus is taking place. In order to prepare, I went with my mom to work to do the phones. My dad saw my uncomfort and offered 5$ for every call I made. I spent some 8 hours in that office calling people to remind them to vote for Governor Huckabee in the Iowa Caucus.8 hours. About 300 phone calls. You do the math. 300 phone calls 5$ each. Hehehe. I feel suddenly like a mini Bill Gates. Except for the fact my dad seems to have "forgotten" our little deal. But anyway I wasn't the only one in that office calling random people waiting to write down the response. I would say there was about 50 or 60. We totaled up all the phone calls and finished with 12,500 phone calls. Phew. Take that Mitt Romney.

Mike Huckabee for President'08

2007-12-18T13:47:00.000-05:00

Mike Huckabee for President '08

The day my mother announced my mother was working for Mike Huckabee, my first thought was: Who?

That was coincidentally the same reaction I got from one of my friends at school. That was a monthandahalf ago. Now, if I was to say my mom works for Mike Huckabee at school, I would be plagued with... Hillary lovers, criticizing me. This is precisely why my mom told me not to tell anyone at school that she works for Mike(this was before December 1st). The next day I wore my "I like Mike" sweatshirt to school. Underneath my coat. When I took off my coat at school, no one noticed for a few days. But you have to notice if someone is wearing the same thing over and over 4 days in a row. That is what happened with my friend. In November, before the governor announced my mom working for him, my friend asked:

So, uh, who's this "Mike Huckabee" guy?

Umm, well he's running for president in 2008.

What does that have to do with you?

Uhh, well thats ......... ummm...

yeah....?

Its uhh... Confidential.

...

...

...

Like a secret you mean?

Yes, like a secret.

10 minutes later I had gotten the most attention I've ever gotten:

Hey! Look its the secret man!!

Then following that, about 20000000 people wanted to know the secret:

So, Panzer, your my friend right?

I'm sorry, who are you?

Ohh, Panzer you know me! I'm like your best friend!

Huh???

Yeah well, I heard you have a secret...

uhh... well..

Your gonna tell me right??????

My mom working for Mike Huckabee is very hard on me. In more ways than just everyone bugging me about my "secret" but also that mom has been traveling alot. Tomorrow I'm leaving for Arkansas, I think, to see my mom. We'll be staying in a Hotel through January and I'll be spending Christmas in a Hotel. But that's ok because I know if Huckabee wins the election in '08 my mom could have a chance t0 work with him more.

Chuck Norris Approved

2007-11-19T11:54:00.000-05:00

Chuck Norris Approved

Best campaign video yet.

WARNING: Do not use iron while wearing clothes intended to be ironed

2007-10-28T11:43:00.000-04:00

These days people are really worried about being sued for stuff. Here is a list that were on products preventing lawsuits:

On an anti-virus software product: we cannot be held responsible for any viruses received from this product.

On a scooter: Warning: This product moves.

On an iron:Warning: Do not use iron while wearing clothes intended to be ironed.

On a hairdrier: Warning: Not intended for use while taking a shower.

On an oven: Warning: This product uses heat.

On a fake tree: This product does not produce fruit.

2007-10-13T15:49:00.001-04:00

60 things to do if you are going to fail a test

2007-10-05T10:33:00.000-04:00

60 things to do if you are going to fail a test

Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Crap this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go party.)

15. 15 min. into the test, randomly yell out so everyone can hear, “NO! FOR THE LAST TIME! YOU CAN’T CHEAT OFF MY TEST! 15 min. later yell out, “NO! YOU CANNOT DATE MY MOM!

16. Comment on how nice the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, old Bible. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Start running around in circles yelling “TEST? WHAT (BLEEP)ING TEST?

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E...."

34. Start sobbing. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #__ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

39. Repeat if necessary on someone different.

40. Come down with a BAD case of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Start writing, then yell out in pain, “OH MY GOSH, MY FRICKING HAND!” Point at the instructor. “YOU! YOU DID THIS TO ME!” Repeatedly threaten to sue.

41. Start singing. When asked to stop, calmly ask anyone else if they’d like to participate in “Karaoke Time”

42. Look at the test. Look at the ceiling as if waiting for someone. When asked what you are doing, yell out, “DANG IT! I KNEW THAT SWAT TEAM STOOD ME UP!”

43. Bring a glue stick. Glue anything you have with you onto the test. Pencils, pens, scissors, etc…

44. Bring a Darth Vader Helmet. Breathe very loudly like Vader does. When asked to stop, say to the instructor: “Jerry (name), I am your father”, then pull out a plastic saber and pretend to kill all the rebels… complete with sound effects.

45. Pretend to hit yourself in the head realllly hard. (Like walk into the test room door) Then fall down and pretend to be unconscious. 1 min later. Jump up screaming, “WHAT THE HECK!?? WHO AM I? WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?” If they don’t buy it, just pretend not to know all the answers: “WHAT IS THIS CRAP?”

46. Point at someone nearby. Yell out, “ s/he’s hyperventilating! I know CPR! Run over and start punching him on the chest. Repeatedly.

47. Fold the test into a paper airplane. Write “STEALTH FIGHTER” All over it. Throw it at the instructor. If he sees you, Ask for another test. Repeat if necessary.

48. Bring sunglasses with you to the test. Pretend to fall asleep. When told to wake up, say back to him, “Oh don’t worry, this is just a nightmare, I’ll wake up soon right back where I was last, in Hawaii.” Continue sunbathing.

49. Pull the fire alarm.

50. Scribble all over the test. Blame it on the guy next to you.

51. When handed the test, proudly say "Mee no speek eengleesh. Habla Espanol?"

52. Bring a football helmet(preferably redskins) When handed the test say. "DOWN ...SET...HUT.HUT" Ball the test up. Yell, "GO LONG," and throw it in the trash can. Then triumphantly yell: "TOUCHDOWN!!!"

53. Set the test on fire. Turn it in. Walk away.

54. Bring ketchup packets. Be creative.

55. Yell out, "CLOTHES ARE OVERRATED!" Dispose of any clothing. Run away.

56. Fold the test into a triangle and play tabletop football.

57. Say "LETS BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND!!!!" Detonate the pipe bomb in your desk.

58. Bring Diet Coke and some mint mentos. Put the mentos in the soda and aim the bottle at the instructor.

59. Play your PSP all during the class time periodically yelling out "OH MAN I LOST"

60. Have a panic attack when you receive the test: "AH! HELP ME ! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! I CAN'T DO IT!

These are VERY helpful. Remember, these can be used for many different test.

Thanks to Facebook group

Canaan Valley Resort

2007-08-21T12:54:00.000-04:00

Canaan Valley Resort

I recently returned from a Junior High summer camp with my church! It was awesome! We were at a resort with a billion activities such as whitewater rafting, a climbing wall, skate park, geocaching,eurobungy, lift rides, tennis, pool, game room, pool table, fitness center, mini golf, mountain bikes, and more. Plus paintball, horseback riding, and spelunking. I did mostly everything. It was soooo cool! i filled up my cameras memory stick with over 300 pictures and 100 videos. So soon I will need a webpage with more space (I'm already nearly exceeding my limit). I mostly hung out with my three best friends, Brooks, Leo, Raffi, and Curtis.

Leo Brooks

Curtis

Raffi

very foggy!

RUBBER DUCKY!!! He's dead :-(

Yes, thats me. in the shades. with the purse.

Me with manly flowers (and brooks.)

Close up on our pastors nose. oops.

Secret hide out. or rather, not so secret

Hot car. yeah

brent (so cool)

game room
indoor pool.

Antler chandelier

My friend sk8erz

a picture of me, by me, for me

Essential Pranksta equiptment

Paintball Arena

Me doing Eurobungy and the big climbing wall.

Seneca caverns

The Deer i fed. furreal!!! I fed the deer!!!

Rail we used for a skating contest

Beautiful countryside with pool

Stratosphere caverns. This Cavern was so slippery with mud, it was impossible to take any pictures of the inside. However there weren't any lights either so it would be hard to get a good pic. We were moving our way down the cavern when all of a sudden the guy behind me slipped on the mud and started screaming. He started to fall and reached out and grabbed me instead.(As if that helped) So then he was safe but I was sliding fast down the passageway. i tripped on a rock and fell hard, hurting my back on a sharp rock as I fell. After we reached the dead end I took the following pics. Well actually the first two are pictures of the entrance to the cavern.

Address from The Honorable Roy Blunt

2007-07-10T14:05:00.000-04:00

Address from the honorable Roy Blunt

I went to the Heritage Foundation and sat on the front row to listen to a speech given by Roy Blunt.

Roy Blunt introduced by Edwin J. Feulner, Ph.D.- President at the Heritage Foundation.
Country is doing great- so then why are americans so unhappy?

Americans have to protect their life, liberty, and property and defend the country.

Our enemies are much different from the ones in the past century-no respect.
We need to understand our country is one of immigrants, laws, order and respect.

This year we will add 115 billion$ to our spending levels.

Roy blunt wants Pay-Go.

When the government pay the bills they can't make the rules.

It is against the law for a senior to make an agreement with a doctor outside medicare.

Marketplace only known place to deliver what people want. Marketplace + options = stuff that works best.

Our energy independence becomes pillars for americans' independence.

New jobs: 180,00o in May 130,000 in June.

We should build nuclear power plants and drill for oil in Alaska. (Doing this would also make more jobs.)

Reduce dependence on foreign oils.
Liberal Democrats think our energy comes from a light switch. (Hey wait- it doesn't?)

Liberals in Washington DC like complex solutions.
Its the simplest ideas which aide us in life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.(So therefore Liberals don't want life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.)

(My sister is going to spread the gospel in Peru with a few churches so the first question got my attention.)- The question was about Democrats dictating what the Peruvian government should do.

The bottom photo is of me and Sarah Little, who works in the Blunt Press Office.