GoNatalieGo

And I get to be Luke Skywalker!!!

2009-03-12T22:21:00.007-07:00

Someone I consider a mentor was kind of threatened in a backhanded way today. And, when she was telling me the story, she said that it was absurd - if she lost her position, she'd actually have a greater ability to work for the interest we share, because she'd be freed from the constraints of having to answer to a boss.

In the middle of the story, I started acting like a twelve year old. I was talking really fast and loud and blurted out, "It's just like when Darth Vader is getting ready to kill Obi Wan, and Obi Wan is all, 'If you strike me down, you'll only make me stronger.' And then he comes back as a ghost and trains Luke and leads him to Yoda and it's so awesome, and..." She got a confused look on her face and continued to tell her story. But I couldn't help but interupt again. "And I get to be Luke Skywalker!"

I think she thinks I am a freak.

I hope she doesn't find someone else to be Luke.

How I'm Feeling...

2009-03-02T18:46:00.002-07:00

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

A new definition of hell

2009-02-12T12:12:00.002-07:00

Being on hold.

For 9 minutes and 32 seconds.

While a muzac version

of Huey Lewis plays.

Over and over again.

And, now it's 10 minutes and 17 seconds.

That being said, I feel I must point out that I am NOT happy to be stuck with you, Huey.

11:07

Mr. Burns?

2009-01-22T18:57:00.003-07:00

The other day, I was listening to an interview with Dick Cheney, and I was surprised by the sound of his voice. I wasn't sure why, but later in the day, I realized I had expected him to sound like Mr. Burns. Then, this morning, I saw this picture, and everything had come full circle.

My favorite part of an incredible day

2009-01-20T22:24:00.002-07:00

Today was amazing. I am awestruck by the peaceful passing of power. I am hopeful that President Obama can succeed, and that America can be a light in a darkening world.

The Quaker hymn "Simple Gifts" has always been a favorite, and this rendition today was breathtaking. Enjoy!

Yo-Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman, Anthony McGill & Gabriela Montero at the Obama Inauguration

Clash of the Titans

2008-12-09T17:33:00.007-07:00

Alternate title: What was the UEA thinking?

So, my husband and I are Disneyland Aficionados. We love the place. We got married in 1993, and have been to Disneyland in 1996, 1998, 2001, 2003, 2005, and twice in 2007. So, I was getting ready to plan our next trip. One monkey wrench - we now have a junior high school student. And, he's learning responsibility. But he cannot miss school. If he even goes to the bathroom during class, he ends up with missing work. So, we decided that we would go to Disneyland in October 2009 during the fall break (which the legislature has forbidden us to call UEA, but we all still do, anyway. So there, legislature).

Problem? UEA has scheduled their convention for October 1st & 2nd. The GLBT community has scheduled "Unofficial Gay Days at Disneyland" for October 3rd & 4th. This post is not about me being too uptight to go to Disneyland with members of the GLBT community (although I have heard a story about Bubbles and the Hippo has caused me to be concerned). This post is about me not wanting to go to Disneyland with 30,000 extra people there, regardless of their sexual orientation. So, we're either going to stay home, go to San Diego, or start supporting that other teachers organization in Utah . Sorry, Kimi and Mark.

Puppies!

2008-11-16T13:48:00.002-07:00

I can't get enough of the puppycam. I read about it yesterday on MSNBC, and since then, I have been checking the puppies 3 or 4 times a day. Me and 22,454 other people. It's almost enough to make me want a puppy!

A funny thing...

2008-09-15T09:38:00.002-07:00

This year, to help Junior survive 7th grade and the pre-competition swim team he swims with for an hour a day, we've implemented a no TV, no videogames Monday thru Thursday rule. I can't believe how much quieter our house is. It is still rare that we have a day where homework, reading, piano practice and chores all get done, but at least it's quieter. And I don't really miss Zack, Cody, Drake, Josh or Hannah (but I do kind of miss Carly and Spencer).

So, to fill all his free time, Junior has designed a webpage. I think he started it to try and convince us to let him buy Super Smash Bros Brawl (rated T for Teen). But, it is actually pretty funny. And, he has been checking his sitemeter pretty regularly. So, if you have a minute, check it out. Post something on his empty blog. Try and figure out what is wrong with that cat. And, if you are a Super Smash Bros Brawl fan, enjoy that, too.

You can find it here.

Four Hamsters and a Gerbil

2008-09-04T10:28:00.007-07:00

My boy, JT, really loves animals. He wants a dog so badly that it may be stunting his growth. I love my backyard too much to ever consent. Because poop is gross. Really.

So, three or four years ago, we took JT to the Petsmart and bought him a hamster. It was a beautiful, brown teddy bear hamster. We also bought the awesome Crittertrail cage. (Note: For the love of all that is good, do NOT buy this cage. You will spend hours scrubbing hamster pee out of those tubes. You will end up resenting the hamster, and that is really not a good use of energy.)

We brought the hamster home, and he climbed up into his little hamster-cage loft, and fell asleep. We, creatively, named him Sleepy.

Turns out we should have named him Dying. Because he wasn't really sleeping. He was in a coma. And, then he died. JT was really sad, but we comforted him by reminding him of the Plan of Salvation. Sleepy the hamster is now with Great-Grandma Edna in the Spirit World. (And, if you're reading this, Grandma, I am really sorry. I can't imagine that you really like hamsters. But, you do like JT, so thanks!)

We put Sleepy's dead body in an old check box and took it back to Petsmart. (True story: the next time I got a box of checks in the mail, Little Miss was sure they were mailing the hamster back to us.) They let us pick out a new hamster. We named him Sleepy II, because we're all about the creativity at our house.

Sleepy II was a little bit of a biter (but only if you tried to hold him after eating a grilled cheese sandwich or goldfish crackers). We liked him. Mostly because he was alive.

Sleepy II lived a good, long (well, two years - so long for hamsters) life. He slowed down, stopped running on his wheel all night, got so fat that he could no longer fit through the hole that led to his little house, and then died peacefully in his sleep.

After a few weeks, we went to PetCo, because a new one opened up in our neighborhood. We bought Princess, a cute little brown dwarf hamster. She was cute and fun. And, last month while we were at the family reunion at Bear Lake, Princess curled up in her little TV and died.

We took JT back to Petco, and bought him a gerbil. We named him Scamper, because he loved to run around his cage really fast. We should have named him Anti-Social. Or Chewy. Or Satan.

We should not have bought a gerbil. In my experience, gerbils don't really like people. Mostly, they like like running really fast like they are crazy, hiding in their house, and chewing. This hiding in the house thing got harder for Scamper, because he ate huge parts of his house. Running on his wheel got harder for him, too, because when he wasn't running on it, he was eating it. By the end of his week at our house, that wheel was no longer structurally sound, because he had eaten many of the rungs and some of the spokes. This behavior concerned us, greatly.

We put him back in his little cardboard box and took him back to the store. We explained that he wasn't really a good fit for us, because he didn't actually like people, he chewed everything in sight, and we thought that, maybe, he was possessed. They were really nice, and said, "Hey. It sounds like you want a hamster."

So, this is a big welcoming shout out to Blackie, our new Fancy Hamster. We're glad to have you. Try not to eat your new house. Or your new wheel.

In which I get a pet tiger, larry, who is purple

2008-06-27T17:08:00.002-07:00

adopt your own virtual pet!

I could not resist. He was so cute. And he will not poop on the lawn, so hooray for larry.

The Tale of the Snipper

2008-06-11T18:18:00.006-07:00

While I was a student at BYU in the late '80s and early '90s, there was a crime spree. A serial scissors-wielder would silently accost sleeping co-eds in the Harold B. Lee library. The young women would wake up after a much needed power-nap to resume studying to find that their clothes had been cut in revealing places. The Daily Universe was full of reports, theories and warnings.

There's nothing funny about that.

But, there was another student newspaper. It was an off-campus paper called the Student Review. And, it talked about all kinds of things that were happening at BYU that the Daily Universe avoided. It also was wildly satirical at times. And, it claimed to have discovered the identity of the perpetrator.

His name? Snipper Blake. Evil twin of BYUSA President Brett Blake. And they even had pictures. He sure looked a lot like Brett Blake. Except his eyes were wild, his hair wasn't combed as neatly, and he had a really big pair of scissors. I thought this was hilarious. I often think about Snipper. I love to tell this story. My husband and I were talking about Snipper the other day.

And, now, the story has come full circle. Snipper's not-as-evil twin posted on my education blog earlier this week. But he was really mean. He flamed my friend Becky, who is running for the state House of Representatives. And I wondered...Maybe Snipper was the good twin, and he was just misunderstood.

Poor Snipper. We hardly knew you.

Working for the common good

2008-05-31T21:04:00.004-07:00

I know, it's been a long time. Yes, the new house is great. The kids are fine. Colon still doing well (I assume - haven't seen any pictures of it since last July).

I just thought I would pass on this story, so you all could follow in my footsteps and work to fight check fraud.

A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to spend some time at BYU. I met Shannon Hale, and even though I was sure we'd be best friends (mostly because her dad was my obstetrician), she ended up really loving daltongirl. Who can blame her, really? That actually became a theme of the week. People were constantly telling me that they like me almost as much as they like daltongirl. I'm number 2!!! Yeah!

I got distracted - sorry. So, alisonwonderland and I were in the BYU Bookstore because I needed a pair of socks. Yeah, I packed in a hurry. So, the girl in front of us in line was writing a check. She seemed a little sketchy. I mean, who writes checks these days? Have you seen the Visa commercials? If you write a check, everyone in line is going to hate you. But, anywhoo, the cashier asked for ID, and the girl claimed she didn't have any. Really? Then the cashier said she couldn't take the check if the phone number on the check wasn't correct. And, it wasn't. The girl went on to provide a phone number. And, being the responsible citizen I am, I decided that I needed to see if this really was this girl's number. I discretely pulled out my phone, and I typed in the number as she gave it to the cashier. Originally, I had concerns. I don't know where the 303 area code is, but I've never heard of it before. Finally, as she is finishing giving the number to the cashier, her phone starts to ring. I quickly hang up, relieved that she isn't trying to pull a fast one on the Lord's bookstore. And, then I realize she is pushing the call back button. I used my lightning fast speed to silence my phone. 'Cause that would have been embarrassing. Way more embarrassing than admitting to you that I sometimes torment college freshmen for my own amusement.

So, what I learned is that either the sketchy girl did not steal her roommate's checks to buy cute shoes at the BYU Bookstore, or that she stole her roommate's checks and phone. Who knows - maybe the roommate is in a freezer somewhere? But, I did my best to prevent check fraud. And, that's all that matters.

Colonoscopy - a song

2007-08-02T13:18:00.000-07:00

click here for the tune

Colonoscopy, I had one last month.
A colonoscopy.
And the reason why I had one last month?
My family history.
I drank 'bowel prep,' I went to the doc,
Fell asleep. They prodded me.
And the result? It is good news.
My colon's polyp free.

Come on, Charlie...

2007-07-19T17:13:00.000-07:00

We're going to Garbage Mountain, Charlie.

Click here for the real adventure of Charlie the Unicorn.

My sister

2007-06-21T09:01:00.000-07:00

I have a sister. She is 10 years older than I am. When we were younger, we shared a bedroom. I was not a good roommate. I wrote mean things about her on the wallpaper (perfectly chosen to match Marcia Brady's wallpaper) with a permanent marker. I constantly unplugged her 8-track tape player when it was not in use because I thought the little green power light used too much energy. I insisted that my parents buy me an orange beanbag chair, and made the hideous beast of a beanbag the focal point of my side of the room. It was not a good situation, but she lovingly made the best of it.

Or, so I thought. Really, she was just biding her time.

And, then she got even.

In the fall of 1989, I was moving into the dorms at BYU (Helaman Halls). My sister was a mother of two children, living in Salt Lake City while her husband finished medical school at the University of Utah. She brought her little ones down to welcome me, and help me move in. One of my new neighbors in the dorms saw the beautiful, blond haired, big-eyed babies and asked (rather stupidly, I think), "Aw, cute! Who's kids are these?" My sister swiftly and convincingly replied, "They're Natalie's. I am raising them for her while she goes to college."

Fast forward almost 18 years. The older of those beautiful babies is now a BYU student himself, getting ready for his mission. And the younger of the two (here's a shout-out to Courtney, a new reader of the blog, and who in latin is a neptia fabulosus) will be entering the dorms in the fall. On scholarship, none the less.

Little Miss and I are already practicing. "Mommy, I'll miss you while you are in college. Don't do drugs."

Fun Times in Calculus Class

2007-06-06T10:40:00.000-07:00

Comments on a previous post led to me reminiscing about my college days, a calculus class in particular. I got a C-. Barely.

When asked to name a most embarrassing moment, the final of that class comes to mind. It was in the testing center, and was multiple choice.

I scored 15%.

So, if I would have guessed, odds are that I would get 25%. By actually trying to do the problems, I did worse than if I would have guessed.

Life lesson: Calculus is something you cannot fake.

My future grandchildren...

2007-06-04T10:02:00.001-07:00

Little Miss recently informed me that when she grows up and marries, she will have four children. Their names will be Bob, Rosie, Pinkie and Junior.

She pointed out that Pinkie is after the color, not the little finger.

Also, she said that she will pick the names for the older two, and that she would let her husband name the younger two. As long as he names them Pinkie and Junior.

I like the way she thinks.

Friday's Feast on Saturday

2007-05-05T16:10:00.000-07:00

I told DaltonGirl (who doesn't capitalize her name, but I do. Sorry - that's pretty presumptuous of me) that I was going to post once a week. And, nothing exciting or funny has happened to me this week. So, I went to AlisonWonderland's blog, and saw this. I hope it's entertaining. It's probably not. Sorry

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
Name something you would not want to own.
I never want to own a video gaming system that hooks up to the TV. My boys have GameBoys and a Nintendo DS, but, so far we've avoided an X-Box or a PlayStation. I think when we move into our new house, we'll get a wii, but the kids already know they will only be able to play it Fridays and Saturdays.

Why am I so opposed? I don't like the noise. I think they are addictive. I think that in many cases, they promote anti-social behavior. And, I think there is a lot of trash out there that parents don't understand (like those games where players get extra points for beating up the prostitute so they don't have to pay her for her services.)

Soup
Describe your hair (texture, color, length, etc.).

Long. Thin. Natural Blond. Long layers. Bangs. Some days it looks great, but many days it's in a ponytail or a clip.

Salad
Finish this sentence: I’ll never forget ___________.

I actually have a really bad memory. I can't think of what I'll never forget. Prom? My wedding day? Baby Junior... Okay, that's it. The one memory I have that isn't enhanced by photographs is my first day home with Baby Junior. I was totally psychotic. My mom was on a mission, so my mother-in-law came to help. I had read that you couldn't give the baby a bottle or he wouldn't nurse, and my milk hadn't come in and the baby cried all night long. I was so worried that my husband or my MIL would give him a bottle of sugar-water, so I took the baby into the laundry room (we had a tiny basement apartment) and cried and sang primary songs to him while baby Junior screamed all night long. There is actually a moral of the story. Everything turned out okay. Things that seem like a big deal at the time - not so much of a big deal in hindsight.

Main Course
Which famous person would you like to be for one day? Why?

I am actually pretty happy being me. So, maybe I'd chose to be a more fabulous me. Like 20 pounds lighter with a great outfit and no stress. And, perfect hair. And not-crooked eyebrows. But, I think that might get boring. So, maybe one day would be enough.

Dessert
Write one sentence about yourself that includes one thing that is true and another thing that is not.

I never swear but I lie all the time. Actually, both of those things are half-truths. I have been known to swear (little ones) usually because it's funny or because I'm frustrated. And, I do lie, but only sometimes, and not the big ones. Let me try again...

I can't speak any foreign languages and I am bad at math.

So. There. That's all I've got for now.

Words to live by...

2007-04-29T17:03:00.000-07:00

Occasionally in my role as a mother, I give my children instruction and guidance that I feel I should share. Then, as we incoroprate these pearls of wisdom into our lives, all of us can be enlightened and, hopefully, more successful in all areas of life.

Today was such a moment.

"Don't call your brother weiner-baby."

There. Go and do.

Viva Las Vegas

2007-04-23T20:26:00.000-07:00

My family spent the weekend in Vegas.

My brother who lives in Vegas was diagnosed with colon cancer late last year. He started chemo three weeks after Christmas. It has been a difficult time for him and for his family (a beautiful wife that we all adore, five sons ranging in age from on-a-mission to second-grade, and a surprise little girl who is 18 months).

A wise Heavenly Father knew that they all needed a diversion.

Someone in my brother's stake decided to produce a stake-wide production of 'Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.' This is especially delightful because Joseph is my family's musical. My oldest brother's junior high school band played the music to Joseph in the early '70s, and my mom was intrigued. She ordered an 8-track of the original London cast, and we all fell in love. I have known all the words to every song in that musical since I could speak. And, the best part is that I know them with a British accent. I have seen Joseph 5 times - from Spanish Fork High School in 1990 (I went twice) to a Draper City production when I was a newlywed (the best Joseph I've seen. Sorry, DO) to Donny Osmond (and I even had backstage passes. Yes, he's nice.)

So, my brother and his son tried out for Joseph. My nephew was cast as Benjamin, and my brother was cast as the Pharaoh. We were thrilled to go. In addition to my little family, my mom, my sister and her family, and 3 of my brothers and their families all made the trip. We stayed in the same hotel, swam in the pool, ate good food, and then went to see the play.

It was well done. The costumes and scenery looked great. Some people were more talented than others, but everyone was having fun. And the best part was my brother. He was incredible. His Elvis wig hid his patchy hair, he hit every note perfectly, and he danced, too! It was amazing! I bet nobody could tell that he's lost 40 pounds in the last three months. Nobody could tell that he wasn't healthy and vibrant, that he's been pumped full of drugs that almost kill him to kill the disease he has. He stole the show.

It was a miracle in glittery blue high-tops and a sparkly jumpsuit/loincloth.

And, we're all thankful for the diversion. I think it will help him, them, all of us keep going for three more rounds of chemo. It was the tenderest of mercies.

Charlton Heston is My President

2007-04-10T07:45:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend, we were switching through the channels and found

Planet of the Apes

on The History Channel.

Now, that's what I call revisionist history.

100 books

2007-02-28T21:16:00.000-07:00

Look at the list of books below.

The ones I’ve read are in bold.

The ones I own are marked with an *

The ones I've never heard of are marked with a ???

The ones I want to read are in italics.

For those I tried to read but couldn't finish, I reduced the font size.

I've left alone the ones that I'm not interested in.

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice* (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird* (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King* (J.R.R. Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring* (J.R.R. Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers* (J.R.R. Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables* (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon) ?
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry) ?
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire* (J.K. Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix* (J.K. Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha* (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone* (J.K. Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald) ?
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban* (J.K. Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre* (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit* (J.R.R. Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women* (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi* (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights* (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe* (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden* (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (George Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent* (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist* (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner* (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella) ?
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible* (I've only read parts 'n' pieces)
46. Anna Karenina (Leo Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo* (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath* (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities* (Charles Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game* (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Charles Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby* (Scott Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence) ?
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets* (J.K. Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife* (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolsoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davies) ?
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants* (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables* (Victor Hugo)
70. The Little Prince* (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Helen Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
73. Shogun* (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay) ?
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence) ?
80. Charlotte’s Web* (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley) ?
82. Of Mice And Men* (John Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind) ?
85. Emma* (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World* (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields) ?
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago) ?
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In the Skin of a Lion (Michael Ondaatje) ?
92. Lord of the Flies* (William Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees* (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

Thanks, Alisonwonderland, for the great idea.

Hey! His investigation of my behavior is continuing!

2006-12-04T13:27:00.000-07:00

I am sorry - I took November off, mostly because I am lazy, but partly because I am under investigation.

Yes, I am under investigation. A cloud of suspicion has followed me for over a month. It's just like that time they thought I was the Uni-bomber.

So, here's the story...

Being the psychotic political addict I am, I volunteered to work on the re-election campaign of my local representative to the State School Board. He is a great guy, and I think he's done a lot to strengthen our schools and he has always been kind to me, and listened to my thoughts on education. It was mostly a no-brainer that I would support this guy - the only reason I might not have was that his opponent was my sister's brother-in-law. Yeah, I realized that this might get messy, but really, I had no idea.

So, I jumped right in. I hosted a meeting for the incumbent, organized flyer drops, and helped gather endorsements. The whole time, my sister, whom I usually agree with, told me that her brother-in-law had some really good ideas, and that I should just give him a chance. I was invited to a neighborhood meeting, and went. While there, I was impressed by how smart he was, but I was really turned off by some of his ideas. I left the meeting realizing that the incumbent was really the best candidate, so I worked even harder.

As the election got closer, my friends and I realized that only a few of us had heard the challenger discuss one really disturbing idea - when anyone else asked, he skirted the issue. So, I wrote a letter to the editor, detailing what the challenger and I had discussed. It was published in two local papers.

The night of the election, I had parent-teacher conferences and a city planning-commission meeting. The school board election was a pretty hot topic. When I got home, a friend from the school had forwarded two emails he'd received the day before from the challenger, accusing the incumbent of trying to steal the election. In part, the challenger wrote:

(The Challenger) IS INVESTIGATING A NUMBER OF REPORTS OF IMPROPER CAMPAIGN PRACTICES BY THE (Incumbent's) CAMPAIGN INCLUDING REPORTS OF DIRTY TRICKS AND DECEPTIVE PRACTICES. PLEASE REVIEW THE INFORMATION BELOW. IF YOU HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF SUCH ACTS PLEASE SEND IT DIRECTLY TO (The Challenger at his email address).

Please send me the names and addresses of any person involved in what appear to be organized attempts to tamper with this state election. THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST IN PROTECTING THE INTEGRITY OF UTAH ELECTIONS. As we predicted, a number of last minute election tricks are apparently afoot. We are working to expose these tactics one by one.

MY INVESTIGATION IS CONTINUING OF SEVERAL APPARENTLY FALSE AND DECEPTIVE TRICKS REPORTEDLY BEING USED TO SUBVERT THE ELECTION PROCESS.

WERE YOU DECEIVED BY FALSE CLAIMS OF CONVERSATIONS WITH (The Challenger)? In the past week, several individuals have falsely claimed to have had personal onversations with me or grossly misreported and distorted my views. I certainly hope no Utah voter is gullible enough to fall for such political tricks. My positions are quite public and well known and well documented on my website. Please send me the names and addresses of any person claiming such bogus personal conversations or grossly distorting conversations with me as I am investigating what appear to be organized attempts to tamper with this state election.

PLEASE SEND WHAT INFORMATION YOU MAY HAVE, IF ANY, ON THESE OR SIMILAR REPORTED PRACTICES OR DIRTY TRICKS. WHATEVER THE RESULT OF THE ELECTION TOMORROW, MY INVESTIGATION OF (The Incumbent's) CAMPAIGN PRACTICES WILL CONTINUE.

WHEN WILL UTAH TIRE OF BEING DECEIVED BY THESE PEOPLE? ISN'T IT TIME FOR CHANGE? WILL THIS ELECTION BE STOLEN BY SUCH METHODS?

So, I was definitely thinking "WHOA! Desperate Campaign Ploy. Sour Grapes!" But, then, while cleaning out my junk email folder, I found this:

My Investigation Of Your Behavior is Continuing
Nov. 4, 2006

Ms. NatGo,

I am gravely concerned that you apparently published a letter in the (Local Rag) containing false, deceptive, and misleading material. It is my opinion that you apparently distorted a global, abstract academic discussion about the legal parameters of (my big crazy idea that is so offensive to everyone that I refuse to speak of it publicly) on which I expressed NO OPINION REGARDING IMPLEMENTATION IN UTAH WHATSOEVER and fabricated it into a radical, irrational political statement. In sum, I find your behavior dishonest and offensive.
I expect a written apology from you within 24 hours. My investigation of your behavior is continuing.

Sincerely, The Challenger, who has a lot of letters after his name.

Although it is dated November 4th, he emailed it at 9:40 PM on November 5th. It's a good thing I didn't want to apologize to him within his 24 hour deadline, as it would have been nearly impossible.

In my defense, my letter to the editor contained direct quotes from the candidate. There was no distortion. Also, I'm not sure that meet-the-candidate nights are the best place for abstract academic discussions, especially in answer to the question, "What's your opinion on the big, crazy, offensive idea?" But whatever. The best part of this is that the day before the election, I received a postcard from the Support of the Big Crazy Idea Political Action Committee, letting me know that they support the challenger because of his position on the big, crazy, offensive idea. Yeah, nice, huh?

So, the election went off without a hitch. The incumbent won, beating the angry challenger 62% - 38%, despite being outspent by (my estimate) 450%. I have yet to hear how the investigation of my behavior is going. Part of me is tempted to email him and let him know all the people I talked to about him, and to remind him that my letter to the editor was published in BOTH local rags. I have two attorneys (only one of whom I am married to) who are willing to represent me.

SO, what would you do?

Funny Story

2006-10-30T17:25:00.000-07:00

When you title something "Funny Story," people are going to expect it to be really funny. This should probably be titled, "Strange Occurrence." But, it's not all supernatural or anything. Just "Something Weird That Happened."

My husband found a bong in our backyard today. We asked the kids about it. They said it's been there for about a week, and they don't know how it got there. We didn't know what to do about it, because my smart lawyer husband didn't want us to be in possession of drug paraphernalia, because it's a Class B Misdemeanor, so we put it (away from the kids) in the shed and called the local police to come pick it up. I giggled the whole time the officer was here. He was very nice. He told me that, no, that wasn't dirt in it, but residue of the pot, and then he told us how you use a bong. Very insightful. Apparently, the water in the bong cools the marajuana smoke before you inhale it. Convenient.

It's like continuing education here every day.

Happy Halloween from The Weather Troll

2006-10-27T11:54:00.000-07:00

And Friends

So, here's The Weather Troll and some of his friends, hanging on my porch, next to my home grown produce.

So, guess what The Weather Troll is going to be for Halloween.