Fashion Binge

Going Green

2009-11-24T16:00:00.000-05:00

I'm never the girl with the It bag, or the It shoe, but apparently I'm the girl with the It nail polish. Over the past couple days I've been borderline assaulted with amazed gasps accompanied by some version of the question, "Is that the Chanel polish?" This has happened countless times (two). Luckily, it is not the runway-famous Chanel polish, because that would mean I'd paid a ridiculous sum for green nail polish on eBay. It's sold out, see. This is the must-have in question:

An apparently good approximation, for those interested in such things: Ko's Liberty shade. The polish is too thick and is ultra matte (gross...I added a topcoat because I'm just not edgy enough), but hey, it'll get you pistachio green fingernails. Which is fashionable! Check me out:

You're welcome!

I Can't Handle The Return Of The Bodysuit

2009-11-22T17:51:00.004-05:00

... Or rather, the revenge of the bodysuit.

($130, Shabd, Shoplarousse.com)

I consider a weapon anything that comes near my crotch and snaps. Also, some things are best left to the '90s. Including the 10th-grade photo of me in a black, floral-embroidered bodysuit. Do you see me in that thing 16 years later? No. You do not. You're welcome.

Anna Sui Nightmare FitFlop Ugg Mash-Up Thing

2009-11-20T18:21:00.004-05:00

($195, Anna Sui, Shopintuition.com)

I don't know what's more horrifying -- the fact that Anna Sui actually had a hand in these FitFlop Ugg-alike "Shakoha" boot creatures, or that some of them ARE ACTUALLY SOLD OUT. They're almost as scary as "Hot Flops."

Kate Spade Bow Necklace

2009-11-15T17:58:00.002-05:00

($125, Kate Spade)

Ugh. MUST you? I loathe this necklace, and I LOVE ridiculous, huge necklaces. Dookie chains even. But you're a GROWN-ASS WOMAN. You do NOT need to be dressing like a giant Christmas present.

Eureka! Le Perfect Animal Print Skirt!

2009-11-15T16:55:00.002-05:00

(£38.00, Oli.co.uk)
Ugh. Damn you, Oli! WHY do you not ship to the US? HATERS! Normally I'm not in love with tulipy skirts as they can make the short look like certified l'il people. But I'd make an exception for this pink-and-gold leopard-print skirt. NEED.

Must...Have...Furry...Boots!

2009-11-11T22:45:00.002-05:00

Okay, I'm ready for some snow, people. I'd been considering the Ugg Classic Tall Bomber in chocolate, but was pretty uninspired at the store. They were just so...Ugglike. And so...Etsy to the rescue! I just purchased the following:

Vintage Bass suede and leather boots, $36. Boo-yeah! These remind me of my awesome vintage moon boots of a few years ago that finally looked so shitty I had to toss 'em. I'm hoping I can get these cleaned up to look good as new.

Thank you sir, may I have another?

Vintage chocolate brown ankle boots, $20. These are a little sleeker, a little more work-appropriate, a little less in need of professional cleaning. And yet still fur-lined! Hope I can fit them into my wardrobe!

More boots I've been mulling over tomorrow. (Dammit, I need another huge boot bin!)

MOAR Peacock Pretties: One-Of-A-Kind Marta Per Necklace & Super Fancy Peacock Clutch

2009-11-11T19:41:00.006-05:00

More peacock indulgences I wish I could indulge in!

($240, Marta Per, Farfetch.com)

Amazing bib-style necklace fashioned out of three vintage brooches. And the cock of the walk -- a peacock. Seriously, look at the handmade handiwork, craft, and creativity that went into this.

($1495, Raven Kauffman, Vivre.com)

This gold-grille-front (GRILLED!) peacock clutch is practically equivalent to my rent. Too bad it's not big enough to live in.

GRILLZ!

Power Dressing, Phillip Lim Style

2009-11-10T23:28:00.003-05:00

Dude. DUDE. Duuuuuude. Seriously? BURY me in this 3.1 Phillip Lim pink silk dress.

($625, 3.1 Phillip Lim, Lagarconne.com)

+ History of power dressing.
+ Jessica Alba power dresses in Lanvin.

Got $38? You NEED To Get This Rhinestone Necklace.

2009-11-10T22:50:00.002-05:00

It's kinda hard to find a rhinestone statement necklace that doesn't look like a cheap pile of plastic shise or something you'd buy in plastic bubble wrap in the "fun" aisle at the grocery store. So please do yourself a favor and check out this Urban rhinestone necklace. It was designed by the ladies at BleachBlack.com.

($38, Urbanoutfitters.com)

Storm's Perfect Gold Watch

2009-11-05T22:42:00.003-05:00

What's wrong with this gold watch by London label Storm? Absolutely nothing, that's what. It's strong enough for a man but just right for this l'il lady. I so wanna wear this with some comfy wintery wine-colored sweaters... while I sit on my couch and do NOTHING... because it's winter. YAY!

($200, Storm, Shop.moxie.com)

Jeffrey Campbell Wins Me Back With These Black And Brown Studded Saddle Shoes

2009-11-05T22:05:00.003-05:00

These Jeffrey Campbell clunkers left a totally bad taste in mouth -- like when you accidentally bite into a really bad grape -- I HATE when that happens! But, do you stop eating grapes for good? No. You know there will be a better one later on in the bunch. Anyway, what I mean to say is that, I LOVE these Jeffrey Campbell Capone studded saddle shoes have made up for that bad grape. Know what I mean? A little?

($129, Jeffrey Campbell, Singer22.com)

Major Mike & Chris Sale!

2009-11-01T13:50:00.006-05:00

YES REALLY! Bad Joan has lots of cute Mike & Chris stuff for under $100. Not much of their boner-inducing leather jackets, but many gorgeously designed lightweight jackets, blouses, and dresses.

($55, Mike & Chris, Badjoan.com)

($55, Mike & Chris, Badjoan.com)

($58, Mike & Chris, Badjoan.com)

($58, Mike & Chris, Badjoan.com)

Statement Piece Lust: Necklaces By Adia Kibur

2009-11-01T13:14:00.003-05:00

($170, Adia Kibur, Chickdowntown.com)
"Likes this."

($55, Adia Kibur, Cusp.com)

Oooh. Almost chain-maille-y but still femme.

($125, Adia Kibur, Shopkitson.com)

Delightful overcrafted. I love it. I think I have a bridal shower coming up. Is it possible for me to register for gem bib necklaces? Please?

Jessica Alba Power Dresses In Lanvin!

2009-10-29T17:02:00.003-04:00

While I'm truly indifferent to Jessica Alba's comings and goings in this world, I do give her two style snaps for totally POWER DRESSING TO THE MAX in the Lanvin Pre-Fall 2009 metallic dress she wore to the Spike TV’s Scream Awards 2009 earlier this month.

It's SO Joan Collins in Dynasty.

Lord Help Me...

2009-10-29T15:04:00.004-04:00

There are like 80 new colors of the Vivienne Westwood for Melissa Lady Dragon shoe. Or, you know, four. Same difference.

Hold me back!!

And also:

Seriously? I really want the stamp one. With the matte finish?? Hothothot!

Unfortunately I need more rubber shoes NOT.

You, though, you go 'head. Find them at Epaulet, as always.

OMG I NEED A JONATHAN ADLER BARBIE DOLL!

2009-10-28T19:02:00.004-04:00

($49.95, Barbiecollector.com)

I NEED this Jonathan Adler Barbie doll! It's like the actualization of all of unhealthy fantasies in doll form!

($53.99, Barbiecollector.com)

And why stop there when I could also own the Barbara Streisand Barbie? Barbie Barbra can you HEAR ME?

+ Plus: Brunch At Fred Flare WITH Jonathan Adler!

Jeffrey Campbell: "What about your shoes. Do they serve some sort of orthopedic function?"

2009-10-28T18:51:00.004-04:00

($98, Jeffrey Campbell, Needsupply.com)

ALL I can think about when I look at these fugly wugly wasn't he, fully-encased-in-no black covered platforms is Seth Green as Kenny Fisher in Can't Hardly Wait, and the key line he delivers to Lauren Ambrose: "What about your shoes. Do they serve some sort of orthopedic function?"

Wedding Dress Steals: J. Crew Silk Sophia Gown

2009-10-25T19:06:00.007-04:00

Errrrryone be gettin' hitched up in herre. My fiance's sister just got engaged, so we're off to HAWAII in just a few months for her beachside wedding. NOT mad at it! She's looking for a simple white dress, and I saw this one in the new J. Crew catalog (which, BEE TEE DUBS, I love ALMOST EVERYTHING IN! Ann Taylor isn't the only maje retailer that's stepped it ALL the way up! W2GJC!), and it's so simple and beautiful:

($395, J Crew)

It's the "Sophia" dress, and for under $400, you'd think it'd be cotton or jersey or something, but it's silk and it's beautiful, especially for a summery beach wedding. The dress is styled far better in the catalog -- the model is hunched over like a sad emo lady -- and is wearing a gorgeous statement necklace, which is what's so great about this necklace -- it's flattering in the high waist, and it's simple but not boring and a great canvas to personalize it with some beautiful, possibly bright (if you're me) accessories. Also, since the straps are thicker, it's perfect if you're a big-busted bride or for whatever boobs you do or don't have. Plus, the empire waist (versus mermaidy tightness) means you can have at it with the pizza without the punishment of Spanx. My own wedding dress is a similar style -- I've been doin' work on my arms, but a totally flat tum is just pretty much not in the cards for me.

Anyway, check out how pretty it is in grey too:
With some yellowy or magenta-y accessories? OMG. Beautastic.

($395, J. Crew)

Also gorgeous -- the Whitney silk dress with a pretty sash that actually doesn't suck.

HOLY SHIT. ANN TAYLOR HAS STEPPED IT THE EFF UP IN THE MOST REAL WAY

2009-10-25T17:13:00.013-04:00

Yesterday I had THE MOST vile experience ATTEMPTING to browse wedding rings at Michael C. Fina -- they barely acknowledged my presence. Maybe they're not in the habit of... selling... fine jewelry? To people willing to pay good money for fine jewelry??? Seriously? I had to ASK the woman behind the counter for help. And I was the ONLY PERSON IN THE STORE. Ew. Sure, I was wearing fuchsia leather fingerless gloves, so she perhaps assumed I was a drug addict or a thief or something (wrong on both counts). In actually, I interested in what they had for sale. Sorry, but my father and my fiance's father were both in sales, and you never know who you're turning down or turning away. (In this case, A PERSON WITH A BLOG! Who's not afraid to share her shitty experience with the reading public! Three other friends told me they had same experience trying to shop there. Since when do you need to "TRY" to shop??) So turn away, I did. But not before I noticed they had like the TACKIEST crap for sale near the door -- Ed Hardy-esque flame-lick cuff links and stuff. EW. I headed over to the diamond district, which, sure, can be sharky, but people actually TOOK their time to talk to me like they gave a shit as I attempted to look for a piece of jewelry that symbolizes my love and committment to my partner. So thank you, diamond district dudes, for giving a shit. And fuck you, lady who works at Michael C Fina, for not giving a shit. Because I'm trying to buy my WEDDING rings, so yes, I do give a shit.

SOOOOOO, long story longer, after that, I stopped into Ann Taylor because they had sparkly things in the window. AND OH MY GOD. Ann Taylor has SEEEEEEEEEEEERIOUSLY stepped it ALL the way the fuck up and gone from Grandma to Grand-NAW! Like, such an epic makeover it's like when Sandy goes from boring to whoring at the end of Grease. Except obviously neither Sandy nor Ann Taylor is/ are whores.

Okay, check out ALL of the super cute things I found at Ann Taylor online that I would wear in a single solitary heartbeat.

($65, AnnTaylor.com)

WHO among us would NOT wear this amazement chunky statement necklace? NOT I! I can tell you that much.

($120, AnnTaylor.com)

Um, I'm sorry, but ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I can no longer separate rational needs from irrational wants when confronted with this metallic jacquard leopard-print skirt, Ann!

($85, AnnTaylor.com)

Lately all I can think about is Glee and sequiny things. Unsurprisingly. This sequined tank top is as perfect as Puck.

($175, AnnTaylor.com)

ANN! WTF! I LOVE this grey slouchy boot! Seriously!? Jamaican me CRAZY!

($175, AnnTaylor.com)

Ann! It's cool, not tryin' to put a rush on you. I just wanna let you know that I got a crush on you.

($100, AnnTaylor.com)

ANN! It's like you CREPT into my closet and KNEW I have the BEST orange suede vintage jacket that this would complement PERFECTLY! GAH! Ann, it's like you know me better than I know myself. You devil, you!

Hi! A whole Chanel-inspired outfit! Bar jacket and all! I ADORE YOU, ANN!

My Fantastic Brunch With Fred Flare! And Jonathan Adler! And Parker Posey! (But Not Charlie.)

2009-10-25T13:46:00.003-04:00

Guys! Yesterday I got to go the most wonderful brunch situation. It was a charity brunch hosted by Fred Flare, the proceeds went to God's Love With Deliver (which is a wonderful New York City-based organization that delivers healthy meals to people living with HIV/AIDS), and the guest of honor was JONATHAN ADLER! THE Jonathan Adler! And radworthy woman Parker Posey was there too. The brunch was across the street from the Fred Flare store at tasty Greenpoint yum/ coffee/ vinyl outpost, Eat, and their coffee almost had me ZOOMING down the street it was so strong and good and delicious. Anyway, it was also the year anniversary of Fred Flare's brick-and-mortar store opening (I did a piece about the store at this time last year, and I had the pleasure and honor of meeting Chris, Keith, and Jen at that time).

Anyway, Parker Posey herself toasted the guys and said it best -- it was so great to see everyone smiling and happy. And that smiling, happy vibe at the brunch is same fun and infectious vibe that Keith and Chris and their Flare girls (and guys!) bring to the store.

Fred Flare is one of my favorite stores on EARTH, and that's because Keith and Chris are two of the nicest, hardest-working, most fun and just geniunely good guys who deserve all of their success and more. Happy anniversary guys! And MEWS to Charlie!

Oh yeah, check out the insane black sequined blazer I picked up at the store. DEATH!

($84, FredFlare.com)

It was $84 bucks, but I felt like A MILLION TRILLION bucks in it, which is what Fred Flare's all about.

Oh yeah, PLEASE GTK (get to know) Fred Flare kitty CHARLIE, who, aside from Roris P. Cat, and Simonium Timonium, who's my other cat with Beauty Blogging Junkie's Glambr (long story), and the late, great, Romeo, AKA King Of All Kats, is the CUTEST CAT IN THE UNIVERSE. Then GTK their amazing night out on Fashion's Night Out, where they went on a designer scavenger hunt! Amazements!

Assad Mounser = Chunky's The New Skinny!

2009-10-23T18:58:00.005-04:00

I love the current jewelry trend of the super chunky, layers-upon-more-layered necklaces that's happening right now that will probably have us all look back in like five years and be like OMG! THAT WAS SOOOOOOOO 2009!" But for now, let there be chunky jewelry! Also, I'd like to pat myself on the back for copping some chunky pearl-and-metal necklaces a few years ago, but really, no one gives a shit.

($339, Assad Mounser, Otteny.com)

Right now, Assad Mounser (Amanda Amanda Assad Mounser's eponymous label -- her debut collection was inspired by David Bowie, AHMAHGAH!) is the QUEEN of chunk, which, in this case, is a good thing.

($495, Assad Mounser, KirnaZabete.com)

($495, Assad Mounser, KirnaZabete.com)

Mad Men Style: BE BETTY DRAPER!

2009-10-23T13:43:00.003-04:00

Um, hi. Remember Betty Draper's AMAZING aquamarine jacquard Grace Kelly dress from two episodes ago?

($350, Rebecca Taylor, eDressme.com)

BOOM. Rebecca Taylor's blue-gold sweetheart party dress. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Cheap! Sequin Tee-Shirt! PERFECTION!

2009-10-22T21:48:00.004-04:00

($36.90, Alloy)

I've been searching fruitlessly for a sequined t-shirt or tank I could dress up with skinny jeans or wear under a blazer, but everything I found was a few hundred bucks... EXCEPT THIS ONE! It's just $36! Thanks, Alloy!

Also, since I'm here, should I get these bleached skinny jeans? Eh?

($36.90, Alloy)

Frock Yeah: Alice + Olivia's Perfect Sequin Party Frock

2009-10-18T20:22:00.002-04:00

($495, Alice + Olivia, Singer22.com)

I've spent far too much time this week indulging my sequined-frock fantasies, and this Alice + Olivia keyhole-back sequin number is like the Don Draper of sequined dresses as far as fantasies go, no? It's costly, to be sure, but it's so so so many dresses in one -- rough-n-tumble skinny sad punk, as illustrated above, blazer on top for a daytime look, or as it should be -- slicked-back hair, dark lips, almost no jewelry, black tights, black booties or patent heels for holiday fun. Done.

Strange Searches Net Men's Panthyhose

2009-10-15T21:08:00.009-04:00

Hiiiiii guyzzzzze. It's been FOREVER. Okay, not really forever. Technically just a week. It's just that it FEELS like foreveskies. I've been WALKING -- I WALKED 40 EFFING MILES FOR BREAST CANCER (Well, AGAINST it and to raise money for research and funding) ON SATURDAY AND SUNDAY! And I've been working. But I MISH you.

Okay, so this is random and not at all about fashion or beauty or style or stuff, but SERIOUSLY, can you EVEN HANDLE the absurdity of the random shit I've found while searching for OTHER random shit?

Men's pantyhose! IN GERMAN! How much do you wanna BET that that's Arnold Schwarzenegger's body with some random dude's face Photoshopped onto it?

Some kind of horrifying reimagining of the female reproductive system as some kind of gay disco, at the bottom of which lives one of those Fisher Price rainbow rings toys, which, apparently, vibrates. DO NOT WANT!

Okay, lastly, here's something that IS fashiony. A HILARIOUS article by Mary HK Choi in TheAwl about thigh-high boots, referred to here as "skank boots." Best line:
"These disgusting shoes that happily swashbuckle up your leg to munch on your—thanks to micro winter shorts and leggings—totally visible, strangled-to-the-point-of-bulbous PUDENDA are bad for business. Unless you're a safety girl who stows Gold Circle Coin condom of champions in them, I don't understand how healthy people with eyes and reflective surfaces who still menstruate regularly and swallow after chewing food don't know this is a fucking practical joke run by the fashion industry, famous people, and anorexics who do this shit instead of crying and running in place."

PS -- DEAR FCC AND READERS. THIS IS NOT A PAID ENDORSEMENT OF A DISCO VAGINA OR MEN'S PANTYHOSE. I DID NOT RECEIVE EITHER, NOR DO I WANT TO RECEIVE THESE PRODUCTS FOR FREE.