The lynx cries "meow?"

I want to understand her...

2009-06-17T01:00:00.002+08:00

In each one of us, we have at least one friend in our life who resembles Luna Lovegood, the queer dreamy girl from the Harry Potter stories.

Sounds familiar to you?

Dreamy. Always in her Fantasia (a Disney world). Out of the flow. Drifting. The butt of everyone's jokes. Queer. Lunatic. In her own world, doing her own thing when everyone else group up and work together.

In the end, she really does get behind...

I was one of the guilty ones. The one who made fun of her. Scoffing off at her Fantasia. Staring at her as she stares into the space in the classroom.

I never understood her.

When maturity and compassion came to me, I finally realised I was wrong.

She needed someone. A friend. When she's still oblivious that everyone else still poked fun at her dreamy self.

I wonder what goes through her mind. I never understood her.

What cognitive process in work inside her as she dreamily doodles on that piece of paper? I never knew.

Does she realise what's she doing is out of the flow? I never asked her.

What is she thinking as she looks outside through the window in the middle of class? I never had the answer.

Is she lonely? Or does she actually have an imaginary friend? I never had the guts to ask.

Was she in pain? I never cared, then.

Oh God... This line of personality is one of the few I have yet to comprehend. I studied, I observed, I asked questions. Yet her response, her reactions, her body languages... they baffle me till now. I even thought talking to anti-social people is more... predictable than her.

Oh Lord, I pray for her...

Back from my backpacking trip! (well, almost)

2009-06-14T15:47:00.002+08:00

Zzz...

I'm now in Sungai Petani after 35 days of backpacking all over Malaysia. Tired but glad to be home.

Oh you wanna know more? I've set up a blog to document my travels at http://lynx-with-a-backpack.blogspot.com

It was wonderful. I really learned a lot of stuff and went through lots of experience. The best part was that I get to be in places I've never been to all my life! You know, this backpacking trip's like a crash course of survivorship (well in urban, villages, towns etc). Can say I'm a little more streetwise than before and I can only thank God for such experimental experience :p

It's alright. I'm OK. I think God can explain...

2009-06-05T21:39:00.004+08:00

I know, I know.

Singapore. Big dollars. Comfy life.

Easy to say I chose Singapore because of this, right?
Easy to buy the fact that I'm 'migrating' for greener grass over that side, right?
Easy to believe that I'm all for good money and easy life, right?

Well, go ahead.

I don't have to explain myself if you don't care to know further. It's OK.
Your opinion on me may worth something but at least I know, deep in myself, my intentions are right.

And I don't have to buy your favour with my reasons which you can easily brush off as excuses.

It's OK.

Perhaps you don't know me after all... It's alright.
Time will tell you anyway :)

Till then, all the best in your own future undertakings.
Take care :)
And God bless you...

Blogger's note:
The title "It's alright, I'm OK, I think God can explain" is a line of the chorus from Kid Rock's It's Alright.

Hugh Jackman is soooo hot!

2009-05-07T22:00:00.004+08:00

I watched X-Men: Origins with Carmen two days ago and I am so swooned by such desirable appeal that oozes from every inch of Hugh Jackman...
*goes ga ga*

To be honest, as a little girl, I never actually adored Wolverine in X-Men Marvel comics and cartoon. But that gorgeous adonis finally changed my mind!

In fact I was actually more infatuated by Gambit (both in comics and the cartoon) back then. But putting up Taylor Kitsch as Gambit in that movie really turned me off...
=.=

The Hugh Jackman material is so hard to find around here these days. To find the Hugh Jackman material as a part ingredient in a dream man is even harder. Think brain, brawn and heart together...

Oh when, oh how, oh who, oh where...?

:p

Blogger's note:
I know this sounds very ga-ga for me but at least please allow me some liberty to drool over real gorgeous man for a bit *wink*

Can you smell freedom?

2009-05-04T20:09:00.003+08:00

Ahh... freedom never smell this good~

Oops wrong picture. Too much of Freedom Fighters on my PS2. Got that into my head...

Ah... This is more like it *wink*

In case you're wondering what's my fuss about freedom, I'll let you in a little secret:

I just finished my thesis presentation.

Hahaha... If you start to think of something about me, yeah, you've got that right. Too much work has gotten into my head also...

Blogger's note:
But seriously, Freedom Fighters is a good game. Try it if you have PS2. It's easy for military game rookie like me :p

My darlings...

2009-05-03T14:07:00.004+08:00

I'm never a fan of gifts. Some of you'd probably start to remove your shoes and throw them to me as I am saying this. But few friends who know me very well understand my reason behind this statement.

I'm a practical person, all right down to gifts. My most feared gifts are the ones which collects dust 'in display' and do not serve my practical needs. I thank you all my friends that none of you has yet to give me a soft toy because I'm sorry to tell you that, if you would, it'd end up in a hospital or orphanage in the hands of a child who appreciates it even more than I do.

Yet deep inside me, as a woman, I yearned of gifts that spells of my certain taste. Yes, I may not be of well-to-do family and I am not that lucky to be able to afford real, sophisticated and practical items.

So saying that, I am deeply touched, almost to the point of tears, when I received my graduation-cum-birthday gifts recently. These are the very few luxurious items that can make me fly up in disbelief and surprise... *sighs in adoration*

A Parker fountain pen with my name engraved in gold cursive font with its own casing, together with a bottle of premium noir ink.

Daisy by Marc Jacobs. The very right signature scent I've been looking for all my life.

To the friends who bought these as my gifts, I really thank you all so much. It's not in the quality of these luxury items that touched my heart, but the thought and work you all have put in to research and observe my taste and style in those items, all for the reason to give me the best gifts you know I'd truly appreciate...

Thank you again.
I'll remember you all each time I use them...

Familiar but profound words...

2009-05-03T13:34:00.003+08:00

Love is patient
Love is kind
It does not envy
It does not boast
It is not proud

It is not rude
It is not self-seeking
It is not easily angered
It keeps no record of wrongs

Love does not delight in evil
But rejoices with the truth

It always protects
Always trusts
Always hopes
Always perseveres

Love never fails...

Blogger's note:
Who wanna try to guess from which literature text these words are taken from?
Anyone can try to guess except Matt, Abe, Edmund and Lynnette... (you all already know which source it is from, no cheating :p)

Cleo's Unofficial Most Eligible Bachelorette

2009-04-28T17:18:00.004+08:00

I flipped through this month's issue of Cleo and it's the season for 50 Most Eligible Bachelors! I don't know why, year by year, I'm starting to think the guys are getting less erm... eligible haha :p Nah, it's probably they're not within my requirements or that I've already set my eyes on the best guy ever *wink*

I checked out the profiles of each bachelor and each one of them has to answer some interesting questions.

So here's to you: The questions for me, Cleo's Unofficial Most Eligible Bachelorette!
(adapted from the original questions for the guys)

Describe yourself
Melancholic yet sanguine, practical yet idealistic, boring yet with a punch of surprises. How contrasting!

Success is
when you reach the end and you look back with no regret because you have done something you'll be proud to show to your Maker when you meet Him up there later.

People say I look like
part of my mom and part of my dad. Makes sense, eh? But obviously I don't look like the celebrity who shares my name.

My biggest fear is
the dark and the darkness that comes with it. Well, maybe it's because the things my mind like to play inside.

What is the best compliment you've gotten?
When someone told me that there's something in me that sets me apart from other people that person watches... I can only give the credit to God for this...

Your celebrity dream date is
either Matthew McConaughey or Justin Long. I still can't decide which one.

My first ever boyfriend would say I am
always too busy with everything

If your ideal man is a coffee, he'd taste
awful. I can't take coffee. Can he be tea, please? I love tea, and he'd taste like pu er cha if he's a tea. Goes through bitter times together, yet deep down, everything is so sweet and soothing...

What's the biggest fashion turn-off?
Shiny pants or shirts. Oh, and add pink colour to that list too.

I like it when a man wears
a nice fit knitted top.

What do you have in your grooming closet?
For now, my cosmestic set (plus bursh kit), manicure set and skincare set.

If you could invent anything for men, what would it be?
A self-organising wardrobe so a man can safely pick a well-coordinated outfit for the day, for any need and occassion.

The last time I teared up was
when I tripped over my male friend's weight bar. The pain on my poor foot was so unbearable. That weight bar didn't even move!

The albums I have on rotation are
Heavenly Voices compilation album - both CDs.

My relationship deal-breaker is
unfaithfulness.

Biggest turn-ons about a man are
his heart, his brain and his athletic figure.

I get fired up over
interesting challenges, activities, debates and discussions. And also high-energy scenarios.

Most people don't know I'm
addicted to DotA, PS games and other video games at times.

My guilty pleasure is
sleeping when I'm supposed to be awake.

When I'm a mother, the advice I'd give my teenage son is
to treat all elder women like mother and all ladies and girls as sisters.

When I'm a mother, the advice I'd give my teenage daugther is
that I want to and I can be her best friend too! C'mon fashion, boys, shopping... only your mother can pay for you, not your friends.

Most romantic thing you've done?
I made a trip all the way to my friend' shop in another state just to customise a dog tag for a man for Valentine's day

What did you do last night?
Watched Bones and NCIS. Onlined and chatted. Read many missed issues of Reader's Digest. Chatted with Eve till morning. Long night eh?

My best pick-up line is
(I think this question is more suited to guys, not girls)

My biggest regret is
that I didn't reach out to certain people when they needed me before they die...

I think Rihanna should
be able to iron out issues with Chris Brown without us making interfering judgments. She's a grown-up already! Leave her alone.

The lost family time...

2009-04-27T12:14:00.002+08:00

After slugging my entire final academic year on my experiments and neglecting my family, finally, all those missed holidays (CNY also - don't gasp), I'm going to make it up for them this week before I go back to Penang for my thesis presentation...

Oh ya on another note, my backpacking blog is up already. Do check it out at http://lynx-with-a-backpack.blogspot.com/

Cheers!

A routine that just got messed up

2009-04-13T13:37:00.003+08:00

Finally!

I submitted my thesis draft on April 3!

For once, I felt a very heavy weight being lifted off my shoulders.
But at the same time, it left quite a hole inside.

I've working too hard on it, I've forgotten how was my life like before my FYP came in.

The next day, I woke up and prepared to go to lab, just to realise that I no longer have experiments to perform. So I cleaned up my lab.

The next day after, I ended up in my lab. Since there was nothing more to clean up from my side, I ended up cleaning up my coursemates' side a bit. Unable to progress (I can only return my lab apparatus to the store next month and my viva's 4 weeks away), I ended up in my supervisor's office, faculty's office and other people's office haha :p

The next day after (again), I surrenderred and picked up DotA where I left it. And that's the beginning of my found-again so-called addiction, playing till well past midnight for many nights in Matt's place, where laptops and kakis await me earnestly. Thanks Abe, Ed, Paul and Nguei for that fun! I've finally rediscovered my fingerwork in DotA~!

Wow, I'm supposed to study for my exam the week after the next. And as I am typing this, I am now in my parents' house in Sungai Petani, on a binge of months' worth of Reader's Digest, Internet sessions and rounds of Clue and Risk with Sue and Wei. I'm supposed to study for BGT314 which is scheduled two days' time.

Yeah Matt, you're right. I've got senioritis, a common condition affecting final-years.
Help!
I want to stay like this forever :p

My music signature of mood

2009-03-04T02:42:00.002+08:00

In awe of God's never ending grace, love and mercy
Song: Amazing Grace
By: Hayley Westernra

The very song that changed my life, forever
Song: I Will Never Be
By: Darlene Zschech

When I reflect on the end of my life and the judgement after death
Song: Andai Ku Tahu
By: Ungu

When I feel liberated, free and strengthened to fight on
Song: Now We Are Free (from the movie Gladiator)
By: Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard

Feel like a captured animal in a cage, pessismistic
Song: Zombie
By: The Cranberries

When I am writhing on the inside in pain or grief, close to tears (maybe in tear)
Song: Song From A Secret Garden
By: Secret Garden

In fiery anger and frustration, wrathful explosive mode
Song: Numb
By: Linkin Park

When I am depressed, suicidal, apathetic or stone cold
Song: Satie: Gymnopédies - 1. Lent Et Douloureux
By: Reinbert De Leeuw

The only thing that can captivate me, race my heart in a passion and turn me on
Song: Careless Whisper - the saxophone version (originally sung by George Michael)
By: Paul Bateman and his orchestra

When I need to be reminded what it takes for a man to be one in my life
Song: If You're Not The One
By: Daniel Bedingfield

How?

2009-03-04T02:17:00.004+08:00

It's so hard to keep a secret.

How can I express myself without revealing?
It's an irony, so contradicting.

I want to type something, I want to see it in words, deep in my heart I want certain people to know what I am expressing.

But... but...

I don't know if I can trust myself to do this, to open up my wound for others to nurse, to strip myself naked in vulnerability...

I don't know if I can trust people who read this; they may even use my words against me, they may be shocked or appalled by my revelation of my pain. I cannot allow this to happen.

Sigh why is midnight my most jiwang period of a day?

Oh Lord, only You know...

A summary of February

2009-03-04T01:44:00.002+08:00

February was another month of uncertainty, many stuff happened as usual but I can thank God I managed to hang on through it.

My hyperventilation came back once again but luckily this time I'm aware about it and managed to calm it down in time using controlled breathing without the tranquiliser. So it's not as painful and paralysing as the first one. I promised myself that this FYP is the first, the last and the only thing that can cripple me like that. I'm supposed to be good in stress management, right?

My FYP is progressing finally but still with setbacks. Looks like my mosquito culture is the only thing that is obstructing me from performing my series of experiments. The latest straw was that out of almost 300 vials of pupae that emerge as adult mosquitoes, only 7 are male! After so much effort in culturing them... I can't perform my experiments with such lack of male mosquitoes. Hence I continue on typing and trying to cover as many chapters as I could while waiting for opportunity to perform the necessary experiments to fulfill my research. Deadline is more like a dread rather than a finishing line to me.

Lifeguarding and CF activites are slowly getting burned from my FYP. I start to dissipate slowly, something that I do not wish for my final year to end with. Yet I feel grateful that my comrades in LG and CF are understanding and supportive in such times.

I'm picking up more swimming skills. For now I'm trying my best to improve my butterfly stroke in time for MASUM. I may not be pro in this stroke (I am actually a freestyler) but swimming helps me to destress and to unload that energy in anger and frustration in a healthier way.

I miss my friends from high school more and more. What broke my heart the most is that I missed Fahizha's wedding and Jenna's return to Malaysia for summer holiday. How often these wonderful things in life come by?

I am starting to see more of my friends in USM on the inside. People who can be trusted, people who take advantages of me, people who are even willing to be sick on my account, people who smirks at my downfall, people who prays and consoles me, people who dread my existence in this place and people who are just a fleeting figures with names.

I had many interviews and secured two good job offers. Singapore or KL? I dare to say I'm more inclined to accept Singapore's offer. Job scope favourable, dollar sense irresistible, challenges enchanting...

What goes on after that graduation robe, scroll and mortar board?

Love? I do not know what else to say but I can safely say that I have now reached a point where I must make a decision... And something is happening, something else happens and another thing already happened... God knows what goes in my mind...

For once I miss my family dearly. We may be less than 50km apart but something happened that took away my time with them. Our phonecalls are getting longer and I start to cry, thinking if only I can do something for my family. Singapore may be a solution for me. Especially my dear lil sis, Eve and lil bro, Wei... As annoying and bratty they may be at times, I truly hold them dear to my heart. And my parents too, their gray hair and wrinkle lines are adding up from the hardship they have to endure, the pain they have to silently bear and the old age that is trailing them from behind. How could I be a better daughter and elder sister?

I'm talking too much here. I can't sleep and I'm trying to work on my thesis typing. Unloading my emotions. Hope it doesn't take away the iron woman/big sister/tough girl/mature lady image people have on me...

The true message of Jesus

2009-01-31T21:52:00.002+08:00

Posted: 30 Jan 2009 09:42 PM CST

“Jesus’s teaching consistently attracted the irreligious while offending the Bible-believing, religious people of his day. However, in the main, our churches today do not have this effect. The kind of outsiders Jesus attracted are not attracted to contemporary churches, even our most avant-garde ones. We tend to draw conservative, buttoned-down, moralistic people. The licentious and liberated or the broken and marginal avoid church. That can only mean one thing. If the preaching of our ministers and the practice of our parishioners do not have the same effect on people that Jesus had, then we must not be declaring the same message that Jesus did.”

- Timothy Keller, The Prodigal God

Blogger's note:
This is so true. Very interesting. Straight dead on. Nail in the head...
I hope and pray one days churches will realise this and turn all things to point to the centre of Christianity - the Christ Himself...

Haha :p

2009-01-29T22:56:00.002+08:00

As seen from Shein's personal message in MSN

"i wanna get married xD"

You're right, girl.

I wanna get married too.
Someday, somewhere with someone.

If God wills it.

The feelings of love is wonderful.
Pleasantly sweet with a tinge of hopeful innocence. Pure, virgin and gentle with such godly beauty.

Oh which lady would resist being in love with a man and be loved?
Which man would resist to share his heart with a woman?
Love between man and woman, created by God since the genesis.

Adoring one another, seeking purity of one another, with the man protecting and nurturing his significant half while the woman tends after her man with beautiful meekness and gentleness. Both reflect their faithfulness in one another as how God intended it to be, as wonderful as He made the union between man and woman to be.

Maybe I have someone in my mind now, maybe I don't...
But as tempting as sweet forbidden fruits, I would choose to wait upon that time and use my time of singleness as a gift to serve and to nurture.
And let God continue to weave His own plan for my 'happily ever after'. For who else understands the beauty of love between man and woman more than the Creator Himself?

"i wanna get married"

How cute :p

Blogger's note:
Something to reflect for myself.
Something to break the loneliness in this room.
Something for 'shiok sendiri' (self-entertain).
Something for time-out from my typing work.
Something for me to mesmerise the wonderful feelings of being in love and to anticipate the best of such experience to come.
Something to remind me of how God created the union between man and woman.
Something to...
Something to...
Something to...

*wink*

"My house is shabby, but it is comfortable." By Lee Wei Ling

2009-01-28T19:46:00.002+08:00

The writer of the following message is Ms. Lee Wei Ling, daughter of Singapore's Minister Mentor, Lee Kuan Yew. Like her father, she is a brilliant scholar and is currently, the Assoc. Professor and director of the National Neuroscience Institute.

***

In 2007, in an end-of-year message to the staff of the National Neuroscience Institute, I wrote:

'Whilst boom time in the public sector is never as booming as in the private sector, let us not forget that boom time is eventually followed by slump time.

Slump time in the public sector is always less painful compared to the private sector.' Slump time has arrived with a bang.

While I worry about the poorer Singaporeans who will be hit hard, perhaps this recession has come at an opportune time for many of us. It will give us an incentive to reconsider our priorities in life.

Decades of the good life have made us soft.

The wealthy especially, but also the middle class in Singapore, have had it so good for so long, what they once considered luxuries, they now think of as necessities. A mobile phone, for instance, is now a statement about who you are, not just a piece of equipment for communication. Hence many people buy the latest model though their existing mobile phones are still in perfect working order.

A Mercedes-Benz is no longer adequate as a status symbol. For millionaires who wish to show the world they have taste, a Ferrari or a Porsche is deemed more appropriate.

The same attitude influences the choice of attire and accessories. I still find it hard to believe that there are people carrying handbags that cost more than thrice the monthly income of a bus driver, and many more times that of the foreign worker labouring in the hot sun, risking his life to construct luxury condominiums he will never have a chance to live in.

The media encourages and amplifies this ostentatious consumption.

Perhaps it is good to encourage people to spend more because this will prevent the recession from getting worse.

I am not an economist, but wasn't that the root cause of the current crisis - Americans spending more than they could afford to? I am not a particularly spiritual person. I don't believe in the supernatural and I don't think I have a soul that will survive my death. But as I view the crass materialism around me, I am reminded of what my mother once told me: 'Suffering and deprivation is good for the soul.'

My family is not poor, but we have been brought up to be frugal.

My parents and I live in the same house that my paternal grandparents and their children moved into after World War II in 1945. It is a big house by today's standards, but it is simple - in fact, almost to the point of being shabby.

Those who see it for the first time are astonished that Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew's home is so humble. But it is a comfortable house, a home we have got used to. Though it does look shabby compared to the new mansions on our street, we are not bothered by the comparison.

Most of the world and much of Singapore will lament the economic downturn. We have been told to tighten our belts. There will undoubtedly be suffering, which we must try our best to ameliorate. But I personally think the hard times will hold a timely lesson for many Singaporeans, especially those born after 1970 who have never lived through difficult times. No matter how poor you are in Singapore, the authorities and social groups do try to ensure you have shelter and food. Nobody starves in Singapore.

Many of those who are currently living in mansions and enjoying a luxurious lifestyle will probably still be able to do so, even if they might have to downgrade from wines costing $20,000 a bottle to $10,000 a bottle. They would hardly notice the difference.

Being wealthy is not a sin. It cannot be in a capitalist market economy.

Enjoying the fruits of one's own labour is one's prerogative and I have no right to chastise those who choose to live luxuriously. But if one is blinded by materialism, there would be no end to wanting and hankering. After the Ferrari, what next? An Aston Martin? After the Hermes Birkin handbag, what can one upgrade to? Neither an Aston Martin nor an Hermes Birkin can make us truly happy or contented. They are like dust, a fog obscuring the true meaning of life, and can be blown away in the twinkling of an eye.

When the end approaches and we look back on our lives, will we regret the latest mobile phone or luxury car that we did not acquire? Or would we prefer to die at peace with ourselves, knowing that we have lived lives filled with love, friendship and goodwill, that we have helped some of our fellow voyagers along the way and that we have tried our best to leave this world a slightly better place than how we found it?

We know which is the correct choice - and it is within our power to make that choice.

In this new year, burdened as it is with the problems of the year that has just ended, let us again try to choose wisely. To a considerable degree, our happiness is within our own control, and we should not follow the herd blindly.

Sigh...

2009-01-18T10:14:00.002+08:00

I read something interesting this morning:

“The wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.” Galations 3:17

Let me highlight that again.

“The wisdom from above is (1) first pure, (2) then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.”

I couldn't even get the first one right
=.=

Woe on me, sinner...

Hiatus

2009-01-18T10:11:00.003+08:00

It has been a difficult period of time. Many things happened, from a point of my future to a point of my health. I do not want to raise unwanted panic and attention by telling all but rest assured, God has been in control (and He always is) and I am now safe and sound, alive and kicking (healthy and pink - err... not there yet)

I need time to straighten things out, to adapt to new change after that point of event.

I need someone...

I need God.

I just can't resist to share my today's devotion. Hope you all benefit from this...

2009-01-04T08:40:00.002+08:00

From Doctrine to Duty

“I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called.” - Ephesians 4:3

There can be no right living without right principles.

Imagine someone saying, “I have some extra money lying around. I think I’ll send a large check to the government.” Absurd, isn’t it? But every year, honest wage-earners fill out forms and give part of their income to the government. Why? It’s not because they are generous but because there is a law— a doctrine—that says they have to.

Unless people know the reason for what they should do, it’s unlikely they’ll make a commitment to do it. Paul understood that, so he always taught doctrine before duty. “Therefore” in Ephesians 4:1 links the doctrine of chapters 1—3 to the duty of chapters 4—6. Doctrine and duty are inseparably linked; duty always flows out of doctrine. Right living is based on right principles. Paul told the Colossian church, “We have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding” (1:9). For what purpose? “So that you may walk in a manner worthy of the Lord” (v. 10). Spiritual knowledge, wisdom, and understanding make up the pathway of a worthy walk.

When pastors teach duty without teaching doctrine, they weaken the Word of God because they’ve eliminated the motive. They may be able to stir up emotions, but that brings no long-term commitment. The pastor’s responsibility is to teach the truth of God, and the hearer’s responsibility is to obey it. Of course, the source of God’s truth is His Word: “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work” (2 Tim. 3:16-17). Knowing the Bible well is our means of equipping ourselves for a righteous life.

As we think about our worthy walk, let’s avoid emotionalism and legalism, and instead focus on living what we learn from a thorough and personal study of God’s Word.

Step into 2009

2009-01-01T17:38:00.002+08:00

Happy new year to all!

Well to be honest, this is the most unsignificant new year I ever been through. Guess my pain from my fYP has dampened my mood to look forward into 2009. But no worry, peeps! I'll be fine. I just need help that's all.

So, that means I'm also not in the mood for resolutions. In fact, my initial plan to usher into the new year is to pray. However, it got a little disrupted by some drama my sister and her friends got themselves into.

Car, police roadblock, scratch another car, IC left behind, 'hit-and-run', drama king of a policeman...

Lazy to explain but all ended well, thank God for that.

If there is such thing as new year wish, I only wanna wish that I can get outta this FYP quicksand...

Happy 2009 again!

A Christless Christianity

2008-12-30T00:49:00.002+08:00

Posted: 24 Dec 2008 12:07 AM CST

“There really is no place for Christ in many people’s Christianity. Their faith is not actually in Christ; it is in Christianity and their ability to live it out. This kind of ‘Christianity’ is really about shadow glories of human knowledge and performance. It does not require the death to self that must always happen if love for Christ is going to reign in our hearts.”

- Paul David Tripp, A Quest for More (Greensboro, NC; New Growth Press, 2007), 106.

Blogger's note:
Need me to say more?

My devotion for today

2008-12-22T08:36:00.002+08:00

“God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name . . . that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.”, Philippians 2:9, 11

The Jesus who is Savior cannot be separated from the Jesus who is Lord.

Scripture never speaks of any human being’s making Jesus Lord. It is God who made Him Lord (Acts 2:36). Yet we often read statements such as this: “It is imperative to trust Christ as personal Savior and be born again. But that is only the first decision. Trusting Christ as Savior and then making Him Lord are two separate and distinct decisions. The two decisions may be close or distant in time. Salvation must always precede lordship. But it is possible to be saved without ever making Christ Lord of your life.” In effect that is saying Christ isn’t Lord unless we give Him permission—a completely unbiblical assertion. To be saved you must confess Jesus as Lord.

Jesus is called Lord throughout the New Testament. To omit the lordship of Christ from invitations to salvation would result in the elimination of numerous passages of Scripture. Peter’s sermon in Acts 2—“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved” (Acts 2:21)—would need to be modified. Paul and Silas’ method of presenting the gospel—“Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you shall be saved” (Acts 16:31)—would need to be corrected.

The centrality of the lordship of Christ is clear in the New Testament gospel. The Jesus who is Savior cannot be separated from the Jesus who is Lord. God cannot be separated from His authority, dominion, rulership, and right to command. When we acknowledge that Jesus is God, we mean He is all that God is.

Blogger's note:
This actually serves as reminder to us that as much as we want to fulfill the Great Commission and 'making disciples of all nations', the Lordship is Jesus Christ is something we must never omit when we share the good news of the gospel to others. However, many a time, we tend to water down the Word of God to cater to the worldly ears and promoting Christ as 'the sure-ticket to heaven' without emphasising that Christ is to rule our life in our thoughts, words and actions once we accept His gift of grace in salvation.

Saying yes to salvation without submitting to Christ as our Lord is impossible; it is like eating char koay teow without the koay teow :p

We are not mushrooms, but oaks

2008-12-11T20:43:00.001+08:00

Posted: 10 Dec 2008 11:00 PM CST

“Remember, the growth of a believer is not like a mushroom—but like an oak, which increases slowly indeed—but surely.
Many suns, showers, and frosts, pass upon it before it comes to perfection. And in winter, when it seems to be dead—it is gathering strength at the root.
Be humble, watchful, and diligent in the means, and endeavor to look through all, and fix your eye upon Jesus—and all shall be well."

—John Newton, Letters of John Newton (Carlisle, PA: Banner of Truth: 2007)
(HT: Grace Gems)

Blogger's note:
I haven't blogged about Of First Importance (and other labels) for so long :p

A word of advice to a friend

2008-12-09T22:29:00.002+08:00

A courtship initiated when you're needy and desperate, rather than when you are stable and happy, is the most dangerous of all...

Journey to the Graves II

2008-12-04T00:22:00.003+08:00

Determined, I made a bee line to Ikenobo, the only florist I frequent to back in those days. There was the shop, without a hint of change through the passing of time. The same green exterior with a colourful outdoor display of fresh carnations and chrysanthemums remained as the welcoming sight for customers.

I stepped in and an unfamiliar face greeted me. Times do pass by, I thought to myself as I tried to recall the former florist and her shop assistant I used to know.

White roses were the first thing in my mind. Unfortunately there was no white rose anymore, except the typical red one – and pink too. I still wanted the white roses so I requested the new shop assistant to help me select the whitest pink roses she could find.

In the end I left the florist shop, satisfied, with two stalks of pinkish white roses in my hand (or would you call that whitish pink?).

It was time for the real destination.

Initially, mild anxiety surrounded me as I navigated my way through the houses for it was a road less travelled upon for me. I could only thank God in relief the moment the tombstones-filled plains came into view.

I parked my car right in front of the sign Sungai Petani Protestant Christian Cemetery and made my way among the tombstones. The weather at that time remained mild as cool gentle breeze swept through my hair.

Once again, I struggled with mild anxiety as I searched around.

Should I go by location memory?
There are too many, should I try according to dates then?
But I don’t remember the exact dates, how about names and photos?

Finally my eyes caught the name engraved on one right beside the walkway. I stopped, scanned the tombstone, held the roses in my hands and stood there pondering in memory…

Mr. Khoo Tiong Hin
A wonderful teacher and dedicated in administration
A doting father to a dear friend, Yi Lei
A man with newfound passion for Christ
Lived well, fought well till the end
Ailment took him away still
But God embraced him back into His presence where he belongs…

A word of prayer and then, one rose on the grave. More clouds congregated and the breeze continued to soothe the heavy feeling welling up within me.

My search for another one continued. This time, things got a little bit tricky. The grave I looked for was somewhere in the middle. I had to rely on my memory on date, name and photo to scan every tombstone I passed by.

After quite a while, finally, a photo of a familiar warm smile drew my attention. That moment, my soft spot finally gave way, and I felt the cold of the breeze brushing with the tears rolling down my cheek.

With the last rose in my hands, I stood there motionless, with silence accompanied by the rustling of the same breeze. Such warm smile… I couldn’t believe it has been years since I last saw that.

Aunty Chong Ah Geit
Fondly known as "Geit Kor" (Aunty Geit)
An aunt of my bosom buddy, Vanessa
Took care of her and Christopher like a mother would
And welcomed me as her own
Oh, I’ll miss her “kiam chye th’ng”
And her motherly words of advice
Alas, ailment took her away too
Yet the Lord brought her to where her soul seeks to be
For eternal, in His everlasting glory…

I lay the last rose on her grave with another word of prayer. Vanessa’s getting engaged soon, I whispered softly, more tears streamed down. If only you would be here…

The clouds grew darker and breeze blew stronger. I hustled back into the car, just in time when the drizzle started to shower, as though as the sky cried along…

Blogger’s note:
This is a tribute to Mr. Khoo and Geit Kor. They shall be dearly missed. Yet, may their souls rest in peace where the Lord took them home…