Amatay's Blog

Gayest Online MTT Ever??

2009-12-14T19:55:00.011Z

Shipped this stupid 30 doll deepstack tourn on Stars today, 110 runners and it took almost 9 hrs to win, WTF??? Won't be playing this thing again too many times in the future thats for sure. Its only a small one but they all count babay, binkatay biiiiiiink....

Probs write a proper post in the next day or two but it might end up being a long one, laters.

EDIT: I'm a sucker for punishment and played the same tourn again today. This time there were 138 runners and it took me almost 10 hrs to bust in 4th!!! No doubt the remaining 'lucky' three fish are still going at it hammer n tongs sitting 100000 bb's deep. I also finished 4th in another 30 doll donkament on Stars as well as a 2nd in a 10r on ftp and an absolute sick exit in 8th in the 50f, KK losing to Ak for about half the chips in play. Fkin brutal game but also went deep in a 30 1r1a and a 75f for a decent days profit :-)

Lost The Urge To Blog

2009-12-10T15:45:00.008Z

I have no motivation to update this blog atm, I will continue to write this crap but i just don't know when my next post will be, it could be tomorrow, next week or even next year. Poker and life stuff have been really shit recently. I have a lot to write about but like i said i just don't have the inspiration right now. I'm grinding out a small profit on the poker tarbs but its hardly been life changing amounts. Here's a screen shot from a $50f that i chopped the other day, be back soon :-)

Five Finals

2009-11-19T04:39:00.003Z

I'm still running very hot atm and tonight i made five final tarbs. On Party Poker i placed 10th in the 12k gtd $109, 5th in a $22 bounty tourn and 4th in the 10k gtd $33r. I also finished 5th in a 5k gtd $33f as well as shipping this little bad boy on ipoker...

I also played a few tourns on Tuesday morn but i didn't do that great losing about $400 ish in total i think. The highlights or lowlights if you like included a 10th in a $44 comp on FTP and three deep cashes on PokerStars. Despite things going great on the poker front all is not well in my personal life atm. I'll probably end up writing about some of the shitty things that have happened this week in my next post but for now night night fishays :-)

GG Sleeping Pattern

2009-11-15T20:29:00.005Z

My sleeping pattern is an absolute mess atm, i'm waking up and goin to sleep at redic times everyday. The last 48hrs or so have been fkin stupid. I basically slept all day on Saturday because of a lack of sleep the previous night and partly because of the horrible weather outside so i didnt feel like moving a muscle. I logged another good session online last night finishing 3rd in the $30r on pp for $1k+ as well as a 3rd in the little $27 on ipoker and two near misses in both $50f on ipoker and pp (15th and 20th, sigh). That sesh finished about 3.3oam but i don't think i fell asleep until 8am lol, WTF!!! Woke up today at 1pm and now im fookin knacked so no pokes tonight apart from the Bloggerment with the fish from www.raisetheriver.com (get signed up). I'm gonna try and grab an early night tonight and put in a morning session because i am seeing Kels tomorrow evening.
Now i am playing more poker and being more disciplined in that sense i really need to get my act together and make sure i don't slip into a complete degenerate like lifestyle that i know a lot of full time fish lead, i really don't want that. I only went to the gym twice last week as well which is no good either, discipline Jones, discipline!! On the flip side this week has gone better than expected poker wise and i made a total profit of $4.6k for four nights work and around 30hrs logged at the tarbs which i am very happy about. Just gotta keep on top of things and not let it slip, laters.

EDIT: Its now fkin 4.55am and after over 4 hrs of laying in my bed and two very nice wanks i've managed about ten minutes shut eye so i have logged on, that will help me fall asleep won't it ffs. I'm still regged to play at 9am but its likely i'll end up fkin that off. Arrrrrrrrgh, my sleeping pattern is messed up! I was shattered eariler, its like i am now too tired or something, arrrrgh, uhthfdrcsderrtgygtyhjk.

Double Binkage

2009-11-13T03:46:00.006Z

Played on Monday and Tuesday and cashed in a few tourns and made a couple of final tarbles but ended up with a total loss of about $650 ish which wasn't the end of the world. I had a few really tough beats and cold spots to bust me around the 11-25th position and the two mtt's i finalled were something like 8th and 9th or some shit like that. However, tonight everything went to plan and i shipped the $30freeeezay and the $30reeeeeeeeebuy on Partay. Fucking well happy, weeeeeeeeeeeee!

10 Week Plan

2009-11-08T22:16:00.008Z

Not really felt like updating this blog at all recently and don't really have much to say tbh. Since the live blogging post i've played a few tourns here and there but been super lazy as per and pretty much done nothing in any of them. My deepest run was 9th in a $30 comp when my AA was no match vrs AK and 99 aipf for a redic big pot when both bastards made a flush against me. I've shizzed off about $1.2k in buyins but had a few little results in a couple of mini mouse 45 manners so i'm only stuck $600ish this month. On Wednesday i went to see that MJ film, This Is It with Kels which i recommend even if you are not a huge Wacko fan, which i am not btw. Thursday i played in a £40+£20rb comp at Luton with Ads and Dan but busted 13th and on Friday i got mashed up town with the same two fish plus Scotch which was a fun night and ended up with the four of us paying a visit to not one but two strip clubs which is pretty standard when you go out with Adam. Saturday i just minced with the bird and Sunday i've just been chilling out with my Mommy and Daddy so not been online much recently.

I'm starting a new Master Plan tomorrow seeing as it will be exactly 10 weeks until me and Scotch fly to Oz. I really need to get my ass in gear and start playing more, especially as i doubt i'll play that much on my travels, hopefully this plan will last more than one day lol. The plan simply involves playing a shit load of mtt's all day Mon, Tues and Thur and Sunday night i'm gonna take 10 stabs at shipping the $215 $300k gtd on PP alongside playing a billion $26 45 manners. More specifically i hope to play at least 500 mtt's and 300 45 manners between now and the 18th Jan . Although it probably don't seem like it from reading this post i am committed to do this. One of the main reason is probably my girlf who gets super fucked off with my lazy lifestyle. Its fucks me off as well but its like a disease!
I know one of the main themes of my blog is my lack of volume and laid back personality but in all honestly i think my laziness only contributes 60-70% towards my poor volume levels in regard to poker. Long term readers will also be aware of the fact that i am somewhat of a poker wimp. I get scared of losing sometimes, its my living and the thought of losing a lot of money scares me. I suppose i have a deep rooted fear of failure. Its crazy because i have been playing this stupid game for 5+ yrs with 2 of them as a "full time" fish and have made a ton of money (well over 6 figs £££) and yet i still get sort of nervous in a strange way. However, deep down i know if i play i win so therefore the more i play the more i win, simples yeah? I wish it was that simple. There is also another problem though in that i like to book a good win and i am then kinda nervous about playing because i dont wanna lose the profit, proper gay i know, i am such a faggot. Does anyone suffer the same problem? Last month was a classic example, i didnt play much but binked a $2.6k score and another $3.2k a week later and that was good enough for me. I then played a minimal amount of tourns so i didn't shizz off all my winnings, a low risk approach i guess, VERY GAY JONES. I should just continue to play whatever the outcome but i don't, GAY GAY GAY. Arrrgh, enough of this bullshit post, its tilting me just to write this crap, i'm off.

EDIT: Didn't know what pic to use with this entry so posted a pic of Danni Minogue's tits, enjoy.
Oh and here's a pic of my mate Simms at one of his recent home games, its quite a lively game as you can see, lots of gd action :-)

I am Lucky

2009-11-06T20:43:00.001Z

That is all.

Live Blogging

2009-10-27T18:41:00.039Z

Gonna try and post updates throughout tonight on my progress in the tournays listed below on both Party and ipoker. I might unreg from a few as the night goes on depending on how many tarbs i have running/how tilted i get. Please let me win some mad ones, i deserve it :-)

Haha pure comedy in the $30, $6k gtd... First hand i get AA mbn. 3 limpers, one fish makes it 80 and i just jam 1500 lol. fish behind me insta calls allin and everyone folds. Obv he has the mightay snowman and i hold for a full dooob, ez game.

Dooobed in the $20, $4k gtd KK v JJ aipf, its how i roll

Just missed a huge spot to get chips in the $100 with 1010 facing an open jam and insta call. I was ready to call then changed my mine last min. Oppo's had AK and AJ and i would have scooped, bad fold. Doing nothing in the $20r. Currently 4 tarbling.

Doubled in the $100 with AK v 88, made a flush on the river :-)

Doubled in the $20 $4k gtd. 64 (never loses) in the bb vrs a slowplayed AA on a 456 flop. This game is easy! Top 20 in chips with about 100 left.

Sigh, QQ v 1010 in $20rb period. Window 10. reload time

Just made a gd call in the $100. i make it 800 with KQ playing 150/300 on button and sb jams for 3.5k. i have 6.5k. I call he has KJ and i hold.

Chip leader in the $4k gtd with 85 ish left. Just sucked out with AK v KK. Running gd so far.

Unregged from the $10 and $5 rebuys on ipoker. Pointless tourns with redic fields.

Busted the $30 $6k gtd 70/253 got waaaay too short. Struggling in the $20r, approaching bubble in the $100 ut oh, stacked in the other tourn

Busted the $20r losing a race aq v 55. Only 2 tabbing atm. Prob shouldnt really start my sesh until 9 tbh because thats when things get busy.

13/30 in the $100 and 18/63 in the little 20 buck on ipoker

Cashed in the $100, currently 11/20 but its basically one move poker. Be nice to get higher than fkin 6th this time!

HUGE double. 4/16

FINAL 4/10. Let me top 3 and have a freeroll for tonight pls

2/6. One fkin time in my fkin life pls!

Rivered in the little 20 buck for a min cash in 26th.

Currently 4 handed in the $100.

Busted the $55 in redic fashion in a 3 way pot with AA v KQ v AK.

3/3 in the $100 on pp. All pretty even. $1.4k locked :-)

I'm a wimp and dealt HU for $3.15k. Happy days!!!

Currently 8 tarbling. Missed loadsa spots and an add on period whilst shipping the $100 so might stop this blog for a bit and concentrate

Out of the $100 on ipoker in a dirtay spot with AJ v J10 on an A98 bord.

Just decided to unreg from my last 3 tourns the $7r $30f and 100f as i have lost focus. I have 7 tarbles on the go atm.

Just busted the 30r on ipoker and 30f on pp AQ v AA both times. How do the fish find these hands?? The cunt on ipoker slowrolled me hard as well, bastard!

Out of the $50 on ipoker 77>>>88. 4 tarbs left and only 10 bigs in 2 of them :-(

Just busted another AK v AK v 99 near the money. Flop k55 turn 9, dsfwerdfwds. I'm glad i unregged the other mtt's, i just cant sit here for any longer than 6-7hrs max! 3 mtt's left

Just busted the trusty $8r near the money bubble bluffing with 52. Check raised flop, bet turn and blasted the river. Cant these fkin fish fold full houses ffs, doh! About to bust the $30r but have a gd stack in a $27 in ipoker.

Sick how quickly it all changes. Gone from having about 5 bigs on the 30r to 13/60. errrr one time pls :-) Still going well in the little $27 on ipoker.

Sigh, rivered in the $27, 88 v A10 to bust 28th. 16/28 in the 30r on pp.

14/22 in the $30r. top 20 cash.

Made the money, 14/17 thou.

Fkin brutal game. Busted in 11th losing KK v 85 aipf in a big pot to give me a real chance at shipping another tourn then done my last 3 bigs with 75ss v J10 and flopped a str8 flush draw but bricked my billion outs, oh well. In the end i only played 13 mtt's tonight instead of the planned 18 and made a $2.6k profit. Goodnight!

Double Celebration!

2009-10-23T02:29:00.012Z

I've been thinking about going on a long trip to Australia and New Zealand for a while now but its only just recently that i have got my act together and in the past couple of weeks i've been busy planning and sorting to shit out and today i finally booked it! Myself and Scotch fly out to Melbourne on the 18th Jan where we will be working our way up and around the East Coast. On the 18th March we fly from Sydney to Christchurch and then work our way through New Zealand and fly home from Auckland on the 18th May. I can't fucking wait, super excited!

The other little touch i had today was on the cyber felt. I fired up 6 mtt's a $22f $27f $30r and a $109f on ipoker which i busted just outside the money. I min-cashed a $55f but managed to ship the $8r on Partay for $2.5k, weeeeeeee.

On the downside i think i just blew up my oven because whilst i was deep in three comps i forgot that i had popped in 5 chicken drumsticks for a small late night snack. I've basically incinerated the chicken drummers and now the oven don't seem to work properly, fml. I couldn't write a post without a bad beat story now could i? Time for shut eye, laters fish :-)

Dublin Trip Report

2009-10-21T23:05:00.010Z

Here's a rundown of what happened this weekend in the Emerald Isle. Firstly i had to pick that fish Cos 'Greekstein' Papertits up from Watford Junction at 2pm on Thursday and then drive up to Notts to meet a few of the lads from the Blonde Forum. That little biatch Cos was 1 hr late after getting on the wrong fookin train and we got to Notts at about 5pm and then met up with Dan 'Kinboshi' Phillips, Matt 'EvilPie' Russell, Stuart 'Stuart Hopkins' Hopkins and some geezer called Ed who actually only lives down the rd from me in Bushy. We flew at 7.30 and Cos managed to shizz off a quick €200 losing four €50 PLO flips versus EvilPie and two other lads from Blonde George2loose and Blatch, gd start m8. The flight was only 30 odd mins and after i manged to lose a 5 way flip for the €25 taxi fare we got to our Hotel at about 9.30. We basically flipped for all taxi fares and food whilst we where out there, soooo balla i know, it was gd fun.
Quick scrub up and we met up at the bar for a few bev's where we where joined by Aaron. Myself and Papertits headed off for some munch at about midnight after sinking a few pints and despite only eating a Burger it cost me €25 after losing the flip, sigh. The prices where reeeediculous in Dublin, its probs the most expensive place i've ever been too, the euro is shiiiiiit atm, its basically £1=€1. Pints where about €7 and the munch was even dearer. Turned in for an earlyish night after food at about 1am because we both didn't wanna feel like an absolute cunts in the tournay the next day.
Woke up pretty late on the Friday and arrived at the Regency just before the start of the tourn obv losing another €20 flip versus Cos for the taxi. The tournament looked really well organised with a decent structure and i took my seat at what turned out to be an ok table with my 10k starting stack, however things didn't go to well for me. I can't remember all the hands now but i do remember bluffing off about 2.5k in the 3rd or 4th level in a button v sb situation where the button raises and i 3 bet with air, he peels i c-bet and he min raises. sadgtrhyrtgew. I dont think he was folding to a jam so i chucked my pile of shizz into the muck. It was probably a big mistake so early in the tourn to be donking off 1/4 of my chips in that fashion and its not really my usual style, doh. Sadly i found myself with 15 bigs in level 5 with 3k but managed to get back to 7.5k when i check called a turn bet and checked called an allin from oppo when i had top pr in the blinds and knew the slut had an airball. After the break i won 3 hands without showdown to get me back to 12k playing 150/300 which i was pretty happy about but then came my exit hand, comments on how i played this hand and how i could have played it differently please....

I have 11.7k at 150/300 and raise to 800 in the hijack with AQcc and the button flats. Flop 972 with two clubs. I decided to check raise which in hindsight was probably a mistake because i had just under 40 bigs. If i had around 25 bigs i would prolly check blast to get as many chips in the pot as poss with FE rather than c betting and having to call a blast but check blasting here seemed a bit extreme given my stack. So i check and the same fish i caught bluffing earlier bet 1.5k and i made it 5k with around 6k back. He tanked for a minute or two then called. I put him on a weak top pair or maybe some funky str8 draw or flush draw which i obv have crushed. The king of diamonds popped on the turn and i stuck my 6k in the middle praying for a fold. The lil coooount reluctantly called showing 109o for top pr and i bricked the river. I fkin hate the way he played his hand but i think i could have played it differently to get him to fold or maybe i should just be firing half pot on flop and repping the king on the turn with another smallish bet or even check raising the turn because it looks stronger?? If he calls both streets i probs give up and still have an ok ish stack. I was gutted about busting quite early in level 6 cause i wanted a deep run, oh well nevermind :-(
Seeing as it was still early doors myself Aaron and Stu got on the juice and sank quite a few pints around town. We had loads of little comedy €5 n €10 bets on stupid stuff like how long it would take each of us to piss and also bet a few quid on a game goin on at the time between Brazil and Ghana like the next corner, throw in etc. I managed to make a few quid on them bets during the night and we where later joined by a few other people like Blatch and EvilPie and ended up going to three strips joints in one night! The first strip joint was an absolute hole, think its the scummiest strippers i've been too not that i've been to a few. The second gaff was much better and i managed to win a 6 way €20 flip for a €100 10 min perforamce for a girl of my choice, weeeeee. The dance werent that great tbh although the lads said i was in there longer than 10 mins. A five min dance was €50 in every place, it just ain't worth it, i'd prefer to just get my knob sucked in Amsterdam or summat for that price. The last established was the usual array of tits and pussy and myself and Stu rolled in about 6am after my 2nd Kebab of the trip, argh.
On the Saturday i woke feeling ok and after listening how Greekstein spewed off his 90k stack playing 800/1600 in epic fashion late on day 1 a few of us headed back to the Regency to play some cash. I was a bit gutted that Cos wasn't still in tbh because i had 10% and it would have been gd fun to rail the fish deep on day 2. In the cash game i sat with Stu and Ed in a €1/2 and tbh i think i dodged a few bullets and ended up breaking even. Again i can't remeber many hands but i won a decent pot when i opened UTG with kq and button flats. Flop kq5 i lead and button flats. Turn is a ten, i check and oppo bets €75 and i blast for 60 odd more and he shows AA and folds!! Its was a gd fold but the donk should have check behind on the turn if he was gonna fold to a check blast or at least bet less than €75. After a couple of hrs a few of us went down the road for a bit of munch as i had only eaten a burger and 2 kebabs since arriving lol. I managed to swevre the 3 way €40 flip for food which Kinboshi got stung for then myself Ed, Dan, Stu and Aaron went out on the juice.
We spent most of the night at some gaff called Buskers and all ended paying €75 for 5 way rounds, fk our lives! It was a really gd night actually and we were all pretty gutted when it shut at 3am. With nowhere else to go apart from strip clubs we went back to the Regency to catch the last 2 hrs of the cash game. I ended up at being sat at a real juicey tarb with some Irish cunt who was abs hammered. He was pissing the whole tarble off and i was just sat there praying for a sitaution where i could stack the cunt and after about 30 mins it came along.. I open with 44 in EP to 7 uri's and my new best mate flats. Flop A94 with two clubs, BINGO! I c bet and he just shoves his whole stack in Hellmuth like style. The turn was the jack of clubs and im like fml i bet the slut had a floosh draw and just made it. However the ace pops its little head on the river like it usually does because everyone who has ever played poker knows theres at least 10 aces in every deck so its only fair i can hit one now and again. So im my head i'm like phew, ship me the monies, fist pump, wheelspin etc etc and then the mother fkin slutpig bastard cunt flips AJ for runner runner back door fkin better full house, lkjlkihyuvcrdxgsdfghjbklljhg gg life! That one stung alittle after an expensive night on the lash.

After waking up quite late in the afternoon on Sunday i was umming and erring about what to bout decided to put in a lengthy ish sesh on the cash tabs but continued to run pretty shiz and ended up doing another €400 so i was stuck about €650 in the cash games and thinking about calling it a day. I almost did call it a night but blew out EvilPie when i almost got a taxi with him and instead borrowed 200 from Cos and sat in a really fun 1/2 with a bunch of Irish fish who where giving a lot of action. This one comedy geezer was raising every pot and he had pos on me so my basic strat was to limp with decent hands and repop the fish when he made his standard raise. I limp with AKdd and matey boy makes it 11 however this other geezer makes it 56 to go and im like ut oh that looks like a middle pr and i know he aint folding but im stuck i might be ahead and i wanna double. I just jam and he calls with 99 and holds ffs. I'd lost quite alot of stupid 50/50 sitautions in the poker like this during the whole weekend and it was costing me. After an hr or so Cos joins me at the same tarb and im down to 80 odd euros and feeling a bit sorry for myself just looking to get it in and either double up or fk off back to the hotel, then a dream hands comes my way...

I limp UTG with 77 looking to jam over the top once matey boy makes it his usually 11 euros. He makes it 11 as per and gets 2 callers and i jam in my €80 and all 3 of them call! Flop comes Kxx 2 hearts and one fish blasts another calls and matey boy actually turns over JJ and folds. The fish have AK and Ax for the nut flush so im dead to 1 card. Turn is the ace and the river is a boootiful black zieben babay quadroople me up 1 time, one outays FTMTW, weeeeeeeeeeeee. A few hands later i found pock bullets and won a nice chunk of change from matey boy and one other fish and eneded up staying there until 5am playing the very last hand of the IPO enjoying the table banter and ended the trip losing €300 instead of €800 so it kinda felt like a win cause i was ready for home time just before the 77 hand.
The Monday was pretty much a chill out day. I tried to play Chinese Poker but quickly realised i was a terrible at it even thou there isnt much skill involved. We all went for food and i managed to swevre the credit card roulette for a 6 way munch bill which would have cost 90 euros, ul Cos :-) After the food we played a lil 9 man 10 euro sit n go with chips that Stu had brought to the bar which Cos won to make his money back and then we just done a few random PLO flips for €5 a pop.
In sum, it was a decent little trip and im glad i went. All the lads where pretty sound its just a shame i didn't run/play better in the poker. I did run pretty gd in the taxi and food flips i guess but i doubt i'll be returning to Dublin soon as its just too fkin expensive. After we landed a few of the lads went to DTD, i was proper knacked thou and decided to drive the fish there and head home. I dont think they where too impressed with my driving skills tbh, i prolly should have warned them that i am the worlds worst driver and to belt up.
Since getting home i've not done too much tbh. Gonna prob start playing poker next week and just gonna spend much of the weekend with the bird. Got a few plans and things happening in the pipeline soon thou, so its all gd. Laters.

Off to Dublin

2009-10-13T19:21:00.004Z

Off to Dublin on Thursday with a bunch of Blonde fish for 4 days/nights and I'm really looking forward it, weeeeeeeeeee. Driving up to Notts Thur afternoon with Cos aka Greekstein then flying with the rest of the lads from East Midlands Airport at 19.30. Were all gonna be playing the $250 buy in International Poker Tournament on Day 1a on the Friday and then hopefully I'll be back to ship mad dimes on Sunday for Day 2. I'm not that booved about the poker tbh and not actually sure how much i am going to play, any profit will be a huge bonus as its likely to be an expensive trip. There will plenty of cash games going on and also a few $50-200 side events so I'll see how it goes. Looking forward to seeing a bit of Dublin and just a short change of scenery is deffo needed so it should be a wicked crack. Were all staying at this gaff which looks pretty decent and it has it own night club which looks cool.
Not played much poker online at all this month, volume levels have been terrible, might play a small sesh tonight. I've been sorting a few things out recently and its looking really positive for the near future. Shit with the bird is pretty cool atm, my life roll is as high as its been since Feb and a lengthy trip to Australia and New Zealand in January is looking as realistic as it ever has done. The only real shit thing that has happened in the last week is that i have completely fucked my lower back up in the gym today, I'm in abs agony. I feel like an old man atm fingers crossed it will be ok in Dublin. Hopefully more on that Oz and NZ trip when its confirmed in another post but in the meantime my main concern is get to and from Dublin in one piece, please god let me run good just once! Laters :-)

Life Is Gooooooood

2009-10-10T02:20:00.001Z

It is good ain't it? Even if it is shit its probably good. Life is good, enjoy.

Knocking On The Door

2009-10-02T21:49:00.003Z

I think i must have played about five maybe six times since my live blogging post and its basically been a series of near misses busting out between 6th-14th in quite a few tourns esp on PP. I've busted 8th and 6th in the fooking $109 $10k gtd, 11th and 8th in the $30rb $10k gtd and 14th in the bloody $109 $12k gtd as well as a string of close calls on ipoker. I did manage a 2nd the other day but that was only in a mini mouse $27 mtt. Furthermore i had that horrible 11th in a $55 $20k gtd when i was 2/11 which still tilts me btw and another 6th in the $109 $12k gtd during that live blogging post. I guess i have been running quite good to get into these positions because its not like i have been playing a redic amount of games when i have been playing but i feel like a $5k+ day is imminent. I'm still making a decent profit though so it's not the end of the world.
Off the cyber felt things have generally been really shit and recently i have been a bit down. I am fucking bored, everyday for the last two weeks has been the same. Wake up at a redic time, play a few tourns, almost ship the lot, knock one out (sometimes two), then go to bed. My relationship with the bird has gone a bit tits up as well recently but the thing is i am not even sure if i am even that bothered? I am bothered, she's great but i am in a kinda limbo state of mind atm, i still dunno whether i am gonna fuck off to Oz and Nz for 6 months or not? I'm probs meeting the bird tomo so the next post might be something like GG Relationships.
In between the last two weeks i actually had a really cracking weekend, last Friday afternoon/night getting ball bagged with my mate Ads in the Empire whilst railing the Caesars Cup. I met up with a few other fish whilst i was there like Greekstein and Dave Allen and it was a good laugh. Pure jokes with me Ad's and Dave railing the £5k PLO event with Howard Lederer HU with a pissed up Ad's screaming out come on Howeee, raise him up Howeeee, C-bet Howeee, aggression Howeee. We were sat at the very front and we got a few strange looks from Mr Howeee himself, lol pure com. Saturday night was good as well in Watford for Scotchniks 30th b'day (old coount). I had one of his work colleagues on my case and if it weren't my bird i prolly would have. I'd never cheat on Kels though, or anyone tbh, i just don't think its nice.
Need to snap out of it this week and get out of this lull I'm currently in. I'm going to Dublin for 4 days in 2 weeks time for a $250 comp and beers galore with a bunch of Blonde fish which is gonna be wicked so until then i need to stop being a cunt, get my head right and ship some mad ones, laters.

Whoops

2009-09-27T17:36:00.037Z

Had a really good weekend which i will blog about another time but for now ill post about the events that took place about one hour after publishing my last blog entry. I won't write too much because the pictures basically tell the story but at about 5am on Wednesday morning i decided to sit on my glass coffee table. Basically i was kinda boxed in so instead of moving the table to one side i thought i would kinda hop over it lol. Obv the thin sheet of glass couldn't handle the pressure of my man boobs and i fell clean through two sheets of glass. The table broke into thousands of pieces all over the floor and I sliced the sole of my right foot open which was quite nasty but i was lucky not to do myself more damage tbh. I could have ended up cutting my wrists or even worse ended up with a piece of glass up my arsehole. So there i am at fooking 5am after an 8 hr sesh online sat on my jack jones covered in glass. I actually sat there in the glass for a good 5 mins in a kinda semi shock like state. WTF am i doing???

I text Scotch to tell him to be prepared for a bit of mess and that i'd had a small accident and not gone on raging tilt and smashed the flat up. In hindsight thou it would have been much better if I'd have waited for him to come home and smeared a bit of claret on my face and pretended to be unconscious or summat. The ginger fish would have shit himself lol. Anyways i wont be sitting on any glass tables in the future thats for sure, laters!
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Live Blogging

2009-09-22T18:04:00.027Z

Playing a ton of tourns tonight, about $1k worth of Buyin's depending on rebuys which is quite big for a small fishay like me. Haven't played much in last few days as i have been struck down with the dreaded man flu. Played a few games on Sunday and managed a 3rd in the $25 DS for a small profit on the day. Here's the schedule for tonight on ipoker and Party.

Gonna post my results in this entry as and when i bust. Please let me run golden!!!

First bust out of the night. 44/106 in the 10k gtd $109 on pp. One limper and i blast 10 bigs in the sb with 66. The limper who has about 11 bigs decides to call with A3, wp sir.

FMFL! Here we go. $10k gtd $22r i have decent chips and peel in the CO with 33. Flop 38A two clubs. Theres a bet, an allin from a shortie and i shove in 25k playing 300/600. Called by A10cc. Turn 10 river 10! Pot for huge chip lead. FUCK OFF 97/179. dsfgjtrewaertyui

Weeeeeeeeeeeee. WestHam beating Bolton 1-0 away in the Carling Cup. Wemblay Wemblay!

Fuck off Kevin Davies

Just won a redic pot in the $100 DS for CL. Playing 2.5k at 20/40. ep fish makes it 160 and gets 5 callers. I just jam AA hoping to look weak called by KK, 1010 and 45 (wtf)

Sigh, the hammers lost 3-1 aet. Currently 10 tarbling.

Busted the hi/lo making a tez play 35/111

Busted a $5k gtd AK v AQ. Q on river obv. Finding things tough atm.

Busted one of the redic field rebuys on ipoker.

Just busted another, fuck knows which one, playing too many tarbs tbh.

Fuck it! Just busted the $55 on pp in 11th. I was 2/11 then lost with Q8 v A4ss after making 3 queens then gambled with QJ and lost vrs 1010 getting well over 3/1. Then shoved 66 into AA. BOLLOCKS! Also just cashed in the $8r losing AK v QQ for loadsa chips. Gutted about the $55, $5.2k uptop and i was 2/11. Busted loads of other games as well mainly with the usual 3 out shizzle lol. iutryfyrrytyuiukl

Losing key races, currently 2 tarbling the $100 on both pp and ipoker :-(

Busted the $100 DS in 22nd, top 20 cash. Lost KK v 99 then shoved QJ into 99 and lost again. Last game left is the $109 $12k gtd on pp currently 9/25. Please god.

Final tarb of the $12k gtd coming in 5/10. I think i need at least a 6th to show some prof for the night. One mother fkin time!

Sigh, busted it in 6th for $720. Shiiiip the 50 doll profit for the day! lol. If a couple more keys hands would have held and i didn't have that bad luck/blow up in the $55 $20k gtd to go from 2/11 to busto in 11th then it could have been a very good night. Really enjoyed playing this schedule though and hand on heart would have said the same if I'd have lost $500-800 on the night. I think the total buyins for these games would normally be about $1-1.3k because i think i ran quite good on rebuys. Gonna tinker with the schedule a wee bit and get rid of some of the shitty little games then play it again. Night.

Poker Mojo Returning???

2009-09-19T22:23:00.008Z

No nasty images in this post just a quick update after a good night on the tarbs yesterday night. Following on from my 4th in the $50f and 6th in the $30f on ipoker i managed to place 2/187 in the same $50f for $1.5k. I had a nice CL head up as well but the bastard got it back and we had exactly the same stacks when the poker gods decided to shit on my face and flop me a Qhi str8 on an J109 all heart board and my opponent the nut flush. I had the queen of hearts as well for the str8 floosh draw, dont think i could have escaped that one tbh esp with such shallow stacks. I also managed a 3/347 in the $7r for $610 although i can't remember my exit so it probably wasn't an ice cold deck or a bad beat. I almost made a few more final tarbles finishing 28/575 in a $5r and a 13/339 in a $20f where i really fucked things up. I could have sat out and finished about 5th tbf but decided to call a shove bvb from the tighest cunt on the tarble with the mightay K5o and then shoved about 12 bigs UTG with KQ, wp Jones you cock! Can't complain though and the month is turning into another good one after a really terrible start.
I have actually been quite enjoying my poker of late and i think my mojo is slowly returning. Of course it helps that i am winning but i think the main reason i am winning is because i am actually playing a decent amount of volume which always helps! :-) One thing that has definitely got me playing more is the fact that i now have a sort of semi little poker office in my lounge with my lappy and attached screen on a computer desk in the corner. For years i have played poker sat on my sofa usually in a horizontal position with one eye on the box but finally after chatting to Scotch about my lack of motivation last month i seem to have adopted a small amount of professionalism into my poker playing. There is still a long looong way to go because i could easily play at least double the volume that i have been but since my win at DTD last month things have gone quite well. Probably gonna play loads more tourns on ipoker next week so watch out for the starfish. Also going to the Empire on Friday for the Caesars Cup to catch up with one of the orginal and best bloggers out there Yorky Pud. For all the lastest info on The WSOPE check this link out WSOPE UPDATES Laters!

starfishFTW

2009-09-18T03:07:00.004Z

Nice image of the errrr starfish i'm sure you will agree although it has nothing to do with this short sharp entry, I just thought i would post the image to add a bit of colour to my blog :-) StarfishFTW is the user name of my new ipoker account on CelebPoker. I basically had 100 euros in there since it switched over from the boss network and thus decided to play a couple of small mtt's on there this week. I played the $27, $33 and $55 deepstack games making two final tarbs which is pretty decent. I finished 6/178 in the $33 losing three fooking flips and also placed 4/161 in the $55 losing with AK v Q9 vrs some super aggy cooount who 3 bet me aifp. I flopped a king as well but his Q9 made a straight, SLUT! Win that and i prolly win the lot, sigh. Nevertheless i'm quite content with a 550 euro profit from them three little tourns. Also made a few bits and bobs from 45 manners and 6max games on ftp so everything is still ticking along ok. My current horsay and gd friend Adam 'i got nuttin2lose apart my marbles' Bell has also run golden recently and made me a few more hundred dollario to add to Amatay's empire, well played fish. Time for shut eye, laters.

"Agony"

2009-09-13T21:51:00.006Z

The title of this current blog post is somewhat extreme to say the least but basically i have been laid up on my sofa all day battered and bruised from another game of Sunday league footy this morning. We managed to grind out another 1-1 draw despite being outplayed all over the park and i've got lumps bumps and cuts all over my fucking legs. I played an absolute shocker today and never got into the game at all, i was really shit. One of the big fk off bumps came from some little bastard who basically just danced around me like i weren't there so i decided to take the little coount out and done myself some damage. The other career threatening injury i have is one of those bastard grass burns on my left kneecap, i hate those mother fucking things they bloody kill. I've not had a shower all day and im lying here stinking of sweat and piss but i don't wanna get in the shower because i know its gonna sting like fuck. I think I could be out for the season with this injury tbh. Despite the agony i have still put myself through the pain barrier today to put in some insane volume! I played three $33 6 max SnGay's, a $10r PLO tourn and a $5 HU tourny with a few of the RTR fish so its been an intense day at the tarbles! Played a few of these 6 max things recently and they have gone well but i only won one of them today. I busted the 10r deepish in crazy fashion for top 5 in chips vrs some absolute plum and also and made the final of the HU tourn, congrats to zagga who shipped it.
I played alot more poker on Friday winning another $700 to continue the gd run from the previous three days that i blogged about in my last boring post. I'll have another quick moan as usual because despite winning 2k over four days i still feel like im running bad lol. According to OPR i have finished in the top ten 46 times in the faggot $26 45 manners but have only won three fooking times. Been getting my bottom raped HU as well mainly because the blinds get too big and its tough to play flops and these idiots just donk it in pre and massively overplay their shitty ace rags type hands. Nevvvvermind, running decent just to get there i suppose.
Didn't play any pokes on Saturday because i went to Wembley to watch Saracens v Northampton with my bird and a few of her mates because kels got some free tickets. That dance group Diversity also threw some mad shapes before the game as well which was quite cool. It mbn to be able to dance that like, it would be sooo easy to pulls birds imo. Just do a bit of all that robot shit do the caterpillar the moon walk and a few other moves and bob's your uncle you will probably be getting your willy sucked before midnight unless you are a complete knob to chat too. I know very little about ruggers but it was summat to do and it was nice to see the new stadium which was immense. Despite my lack of knowledge i managed to make a few quid with some tiny interest bets wagering £5 on the 1st try scorer at 12/1 and a £10 bet on a Saracens HT/FT at 11/8, weeee.
LOL, just about to wrap up this latest installment into my 'balla' lifestyle and publish this bard boi post when i just googled the word agony to come up with an appropriate image to go with the post title and that picture of some bird looking like she's being rooted popped up on the first page so i thought that will do :-) I love that look on a birds face, when they are in the throes of sexual ecstasy, its like a beautiful agony. Right, i suppose I'll have to go and put myself through the pain barrier once again and have a shower before i get some shuteye, my knob is starting to smell, laters fish.

The Past Week...

2009-09-11T01:55:00.006Z

WARNING! This is a really boring post, nothing to exciting to report. I took four days off after last Thurs and on Fri i went to Luton Casino to play their £75 mr freeze which obv isn't strictly a night off. Busted that in nowhere getting shortish then losing a race with pock neufs. Saturday i went to my mate Mizons gaff for a BBQ and the England friendly with a load of chums which was a good crack and then later met up with the missus for cosy Saturday night rumpage. Sunday morning i played for my footy team which almost killed me. I played a full 90 and both myself and the team played well for the first 45 mins and we were winning 1-0. However, i barely touched the ball 2nd half and at one point i thought i was gonna pass ooot. Half our team were fooked and we got battered tbh but managed to hang on for a 1-1. Monday and Wednesday i spent some more time with the bird for more bloways and pooompage and today i played some Squash with my mate Gazza. I've also had time for some pokes on Tues, Wed and Thur. I still feel like i am running well below expectation but i managed to win about $1.2k over that time which is better than nothing init. Srsly feeling hard done by atm but whatever, i'll plough on. That's about it for now, laters.

Gonna Have a Break (Down)

2009-09-04T02:44:00.005Z

FUCK MY ENTIRE LIFE! I just shizzed off another chunk of change, it has been soo soooo siiiiik the last 24 hrs. How i have lost sooo much playing these mickey mouse 45 manner games is beyond me. Two and three outays all over the fkin shop, its unreal. I can't win a key flip to save my life either and when i get it in as a dog i never ever evvvvvver seem to get there. Even when i have a hand some slutpig has a better one. Jeeeeeeeebus! I need a short break i think or i am gonna go insane. How do people like Kennl and Moorman play so much? I am sooo bad at coping with the downswings. Its not i am losing millions either but it still hurts. Fucks sake, can you fish feel my pain??? If so please provide me with some much needed support and send any donations to the Amatay Foundation, Amatay on ftp or Simonjjj on Stars pls. The beats have been sooo redic that i am starting to play shit too, over playing certain hands pre flop and calling off too light in some spots. I used to argue with people that there is some room for pre flop play in these games instead of donking in it pre flop but now i am doing exactly that and have become a fkin push fold prick! Arrrghhh ergteirjfriocja[riciorhjxajikuyrfdgrththyjukileIODJXWIO.
On a positive note my latest horsay and good friend Adam 'i got nuttin2lose except countless five figure rolls plus my sanity and general all round mental and physical health' Bellamontation just made me $400, cheers mate! Oh yeah, i also shipped another UK Gatsby Award last month, whooopay fkin do! I think thats my 5th Gatsby Award and a world record? Shame the geordie fish don't give out cash prizes innit. Joking aside i am really fked off and tired, gd fuckin night.

Small Kick in the Nootlings

2009-09-03T03:09:00.006Z

Just managed to dust off 800 doll after playing about 50 odd of them stupid $26 45 manners. Its only a minor kick in the nuts i guess but i am still a bit pissed off. I don't think i have ever run so sick in such a short space of time like i did tonight in these games. It genuinely seemed like every time i had a hand like QQ KK vrs Ax aipf the motherlicker would hit the fucking ace whether it would be on the flop turn or river. Everything went wrong tbh. Maybe i was playing a bit too fast in reflection and donking it in pre with decent pairs and aces but it was still pretty sickening. One thing i do know is that the skill level i used to play these games at has definitely decreased significantly because i'm now 12 tabling them whereas i used to play 4-9 tarbs and concentrate more on each specific game. This is reflected in my dwindling ROI from 40% to what is now probably something like 30%. Maybe its just standard variance? 30+ ROI's are probably unsustainable in the long run anyways especially if you are multi tabling. In truth I have become a bit of a robot recently and i guess i need to workout whether its more profitable to play 12 tarbs like a donkey or 6-9 with more focus. At the end of the day its not about nice ROI's its about winrates and making some moola. Sighhhhhhh, what a load of BOLLOCKS!

Decent Bank Holiday

2009-08-31T23:05:00.007Z

Its been a good last couple of days both on and off the poker tarbs this wkend. On the Saturday me and the bird went into town for the day. First up we had a nice little river cruise on the Thames in the sunshine and then had some lunch and a little mince around the Tower Bridge and Trinity Gardens. We got the same cruise back to Westminster which was proper comedy with some cockney geezer pointing out all the major attractions that London has to offer. He was cracking a lot of gags and it was a good little trip. Whenever i usually go into town i either get ball bagged in the Square, Piccadilly and Soho areas etc or end up in the Empire Casino. You actually forget that there is a shit load of stuff to do in London and not all of it is redic expensive. After the boat thing we had a few beers in Covent Garden and watched this random blokes street performance from the Punch & Judy and then went to Trocadero to watch Man U vrs them dirty goons, wp Diaby.

On the Sunday morning i played footy for a new team i have recently signed for. I already know a few of the lads and its been nice to get back into the mix again. The team is prolly the best Sunday League side i've played for tbh. Last wk we beat last seasons league and county cup winners and this Sunday we pissed all over some team for another league beating em 5-1 in a friendly. The league starts next wk and apparently im starting right mid although i reckon i am gonna struggle to hold down a regular place especially as i've seen snails move quicker than me. Good thing i've got mad skillz and a decent football brain to make up for my lack of pace.
I didn't make the carnival in the afternoon mainly because a load of my mates met up at fookin 10am and footy didn't finish until 1pm and i didn't fancy treking into town on my jack jones to meet them bastards especially as it would have been rammo and difficult to find them. I just ended up having an afternoon snooze which was a bit gay and then made a tiny prof on the cyber felt in the evening.
Todays poker was more profitable and i booked a $550 ish win plus i earned my 250 VIP points on Boyle for the IPO festival in Dublin that i am going to in Oct. A decent end to the month i guess that sees me finish August with a profit of about $5,250. I could have easily played more than double the volume that i put in this month aswell imo. Its nice to know that i can still make some ok monies from this stupid game when i put some effort in. Its a lot tougher these days but its still like printing money, it always has been. Its a nice feeling to have that if i put the hrs in and stay disciplined and don't freak out too much then i'll make money. I made about $3.1k from 45 manners and the other $2k from normal mtt's plus a few bits and pieces from rakeback. The goal for Sept is to simply increase the volume and play more games than i did in August.
Haha, as i conclude this latest blog post i can hear my housemate Scotch banging his bird, it makes me laugh every time. Its usually all quiet then i hear about 30-40 seconds of frantic pumpage and then silence. About 4-5 mins later without fail the door to his bedroom opens and his bird scurries along the hall into the bathroom to wipe her fanny probably. What a disgusting thought having to wipe away Scotchay's smelly spoonk from your minge, arrrrgh. lol, i hope Scotch don't show her this blog! Anyways, I think I'll leave you with that thought for now fish, laters.

Fuck Off Full Tilt!!!

2009-08-29T00:20:00.006Z

It feels like i am running horrible atm and its pissing me off. I keep fooking breaking even which is obv better than losing but i feel like i am losing the majority of hands when im either flipping, ahead or behind alot more than i should be. arrrrrrrrrgh er3fjgliuewh;efr. I keep getting disconnected aswell which is really frustrating including tonight for a 10 -15min spell which i think prolly cost me between the region of $500-$1k. I had to log off for a couple of hrs after that and regain my composure. I don't often lose my temper but i was honestly really close to lobbing my shit fkin lappy against the wall. I logged back on after a small chill out and regained tonight's loses to yet again break even but i still felt hard done by even then. Can i get a crucial hand to hold??? NO! Can i win an important flip???? NOOOO. Can i suck out one time you mother fucking bastards????? OF COURSE I FUCKING CAN'T!!!!!! I am gonna end of looking like that geezer in the pic in a couple of yrs if this carries on i reckon. My mate Ad's who has been playing this sick game for a living for 5 yrs already looks a bit like him tbh ;-)
Tonight is probably the last time i'll play this month because im going out all day in London with the missus tomorrow and then i've got footy on Sunday morn followed by beers galore at the Notting Hill carnival in the afternoon/evening with the lads so it should be a gd weekend hopefully. Just staked one of my mates (the one in the pic) to play 70 $26 45 manners on a 50/50 + sb deal. He's got skillz a great record in these games but is always going busto because of his appalling brm and general all round degeneracy so hopefully he can make us both a few quid. Also turns out that i apparently owe someone else $500 for some stupid bet that i never knew existed until the other day which has fked me off. I still don't really know what the score with it is, or if i am even gonna pay up tbh. Ohhh well nevvvermind. Laters :-)

My New Website

2009-08-26T00:14:00.005Z

Alright fishays since my last post i have been extremely busy designing my new website and i can now unvail the finished article. Over 3 yrs ago i begun work on Amatay's Pokay and i can know introduce you all to Amatay's Pornay site, enjoy!!! Joking aside i haven't really got too much to post about atm, can you tell? :-) In fact im pretty sure that if i deleted my porn links that i would lose 2/3's of my "readers" tbh.

In regards to poker I have basically broken even over the past week which sucks massive cock and i got bum raped pretty hard in a session tonight aswell which pissed me off. Dunno what else to write, laters.

Winning, Staking, Wasps & Danger Wanks!

2009-08-18T13:32:00.010Z

Alright fishays, sorry i haven't updated recently its partly laziness and partly due to a bit of writers block tbh. Not got too much material atm, i guess im running out of Scotch jokes and porn links :-) Been playing bits and bobs of online pokay over the past week, mainly the $26 45 manners because im such a faggot plus a few mtt's mixed in. Its been going ok on the 45 manners and i've added another $1k to the roll since my last post so im up about $4.5k ish so far this month.
Been getting involved in staking a few fish recently as well. I was making a bit of money from staking Doomswitch at 11 doll SnGays until he donated all that profit back in his last session. Staked Kenn $600 one week as well but obv he runs shit whenever i back him. Got SnakeEyes making some money for me atm with a $550 stake for 50 $11 45 manners and he's doing really well thus far.

The lappy has been proper pissing me off recently. Twice i have had to shut down a session early because the fucker keeps freezing so i have to dig Scotchays crappy laptop out and by then i have kinda lost my rhythm. I also got stung by a fkin wasp today whilst in the midst of 9 tarbling which didn't help. I heard the little fucker buzzing behind my ear hole so i went to flick it away and the cunt stung me on the finger which tilted me up a bit so i went after the bastard thing with an old poker magazine. I was at 3 final tarbs at the time as well and there's me flapping around the living room trying to twat the little cunt whist the lappy was bleeping away. I swotted the little fucker but it was one of those swipes where you know you connected but you also know that its still probably half alive. After swiping it i couldn't see where it went so i returned to the lappy anxiously awaiting its return. Two minutes later i see the little bastard crawling up my shorts. I shit myself but eventually squashed the mother fucker. However, i didn't completely kill him off and he was still wriggling around on my window sill, but he was completely immobilised so i left him there. I wanted the cunt to die a slow and painful death for stinging me, bit twisted i know lol. I think i have been stung about 20 times in my life, i seem the attract the fucking things. I once stood on a wasp nest when i was a nipper and got done all over my legs. I fucking hate wasps!

Returning to the story about my rubbish laptop, i think the reason its gone sooo shit is because i have finally got the wireless working again and its seems to have slowed it right down. On the plus side though in means no more danger wanking in the living room! I can just take my lappy into my bedoom now if i fancy a sneakay wank. Definitely a good thing as it was only a matter of time before Scotchay would have caught me pants down bashing furiously away to some online Smut! Arrrgh, that would make for an errrr interesting blog post, especially if the ginger fish caught me at the point of no return, nightmares.
Had a really nice weekend just gone when my sister got married to her long term partner Mark. The day went really smoothly and i took my missus with me to meet my parents etc for the first time and everything went well. I was a bit nervous tbh, im not sure why but i guess that i just wanted everything to go well for my sister and the family etc and it did so result. Right, i wont bore you with the details of the day, later fishays.