alcudiapollensa

Summer Rain

2009-07-11T08:39:00.001+02:00

Following the glad tidings of the announcement of work moving towards completion at the commercial port in Puerto Alcúdia, come the less glad tidings. Employees say that there is a lack of security provision - only one guard for the night times who has to patrol on foot despite there being a vehicle which, apparently, is not being used.

If indeed this is the situation, it does perhaps reinforce the point from yesterday - that these grand schemes are paid out for at grand cost but are then not exploited fully (if indeed they ever could have been) and simply not resourced adequately. Too often one has the impression of projects being undertaken, completed and then someone asking, "right, well now what do we do?"

Rain, come on, rain
Rain finally fell yesterday. Chucked it down in Puerto Pollensa at lunchtime. It was the first appreciable rainfall for a couple of months; it was badly needed but shortlived. The curious thing was that, though the skies glowered elsewhere, the clouds seemed only to burst over Pollensa. The bone-dry earth of Alcúdia, that which partly contributed to the fire on the Puig Sant Martí earlier in the week, remains bone dry.

But when it does rain, tourists are thrown into disarray. There is little alternative to the sun and its trappings, i.e. the beach and the pool. It might be a time when the bars and restaurants will be rubbing their hands with glee at the anticipation of the tourist diaspora wandering aimlessly under clouds and opting for a beer or several. In the past this would have happened. Now, even less-than-glorious weather fails to encourage tourists to turn the contents of their pockets out in return for a few cold drinks. And this despite the cricket. I can think of few better ways of idling away several hours than watching The Ashes, but unfortunately bars are geared more for the short bursts of sporting activity like football than the all-day grind of a test match. There should be bars with sofas or perhaps corporate hospitality boxes.

The principal principle
A few days ago I had cause to mention ESRA (28 June: Nothing Lasts Forever). I happened to see a copy of the annual handbook - not that I am the proud owner of one; it so happened to be sitting on a table in an office. This was put together with the help of dosh from Simon Cowell, for reasons I am not entirely clear as to, but be that as it may. But it is good to see that the X Factor-meister has dug into his pockets to support a publication that starts off with something as priceless as its explanation that the handbook is the "principle publication" of the association. I suppose that a "d" might have been missed, in that it is a "principled publication", but I suspect not. ESRA is the English Speaking Residents' Association. The principle is the wrong one; it should have been the other one - principal, meaning, in this context, main. There again, it is a speaking association, not a writing one. At least they didn't get their abbreviation arse about face.

False alarms?
A footnote to the Bellevue fires story of a while back. I am told that the alarms did go off. But not in the affected block - Minerva. They went off in Neptuno. How does that all work?

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - "Mamma Mia", Abba (again): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY57jGNCN8Q. Today's title - some old friends of this blog.

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How Can I Resist You?

2009-07-10T00:04:00.000+02:00

The re-development of the commercial port in Alcúdia is entering its last phase. The new infrastructure - building, terminal, expanded dock facilities - will open at the end of summer in September, but not completely. The walkways need some more time, and so the whole project will be finished off in the winter.

At a final cost of close to 24 million euros, the port will be capable of accepting much heavier tonnage, thus taking some of the merchant trade from Palma, and of doubling the number of passengers on the Barcelona and Menorca routes. It will have been a major infrastructure investment project that, theoretically, will propel the port to a different level of importance. Also theoretically, it will prove to be a boost to the local economy. The question is - how much of a boost.

There has been talk of the new port becoming a stopping-off point for cruise ships. This, perhaps more than anything, could be highly significant, but it is only a possibility as yet. Despite the impressive commitment to upgrading the infrastructure, one still does have to ask what it is all going to mean. New jobs should be created especially for handling merchant shipping, but otherwise? The recent track record where major projects are concerned is not that encouraging. Go and take a look at the industrial estate in Alcúdia for instance. Not that there's anything to see. Other local estates, Pollensa and Can Picafort, are hardly full to overflowing with units.

Still on matters maritime, there is a somewhat alarming application of tax on non-Spanish boat owners. I admit that it is confusing. It was explained to me at some length yesterday. It all revolves around length of boat (15 metres or more or less), charter or non-charter, exemption licence previously granted or not. This is too tricky an area except for those steeped in the industry, but I am told it has a political dimension and is also indicative of how laws in Spain tend to be passed, forgotten about and then returned to with some vigour. And that vigour involves some swingeing demands directed, or so it would seem, against a sector that might be able to improve the size of flagging governmental coffers. I recommend following it all on the website of "The Islander" - http://www.theislander.net.

The musical has become the almost default summer entertainment mode. Around the hotels it is possible to stumble across the likes of Hairspray and Mamma Mia. The auditorium in Alcúdia tomorrow takes this one stage further - a two-hour spectacular described as "a journey through the magic of Broadway". I confess that I don't quite get it with musicals, despite a past influenced by the older musicals of Oklahoma, West Side Story etc.; the influence largely manifested itself in the form of drunken student evenings and their related singing (so-called). It is something of a mystery that the musical has made such a strong comeback, but come back it has to reinvigorate not only Broadway and the West End but also to give employment to troupes of entertainers at the auditorium and in the tourist resorts.

How can I resist you? Hmm, well actually I can. But then I'm not everyone.

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Del Shannon, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D4N6YvjD9Y. Today's title - and this is from?

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

Stranger In Town

2009-07-09T00:02:00.000+02:00

Alcúdia has more residents of foreign origin than of those born in the Balearics. Of a total population of 20,395, 7,847 come from outside Spain, 80 more than those from the islands (the missing four and a half thousand or so come from the mainland).

What do we make of these figures? Anything? There will probably be those who want to make quite a bit of them, minded if they are to bewail an undermining of traditional Mallorca or Alcúdia. A related issue is that it is not unreasonable to assume that Catalan is not the majority language. Most but not all those native to the Balearics will use it as a first language. Most of those from elsewhere will speak Castilian (if they speak anything other than their original language), unless they are from Catalonia. The largest single foreign grouping is the Argentinians - more than a thousand; the British represent nearly a thousand, itself an advance of over 100 since the last figures were issued. Just on this, I recently sent an email to the organisers of the "Trobada de Músics per la Llengua", the Catalan music event in Pollensa. I apologised for using Castilian and received a perfectly helpful response - in Catalan. There is an increasing number of the locally born who pointedly refuse to use anything other than Catalan. That's their legitimate choice, but to not use Catalan does - sometimes - make one feel as though offence is being caused.

This locally born often comprises younger Mallorcans, those who are involved in the organisation of events that are thoroughly commendable, such as the "Trobada". There is a confidence and a degree of defiance in their insistence on Catalan. It makes one a little uneasy. There is an element of the locally born young that favours a back to the future policy in terms of language, tourism restriction and also a constraint as to the number of incomers. It's all perfectly understandable and idealistic, if not totally pragmatic.

A more assertive Catalanism may well represent a reaction to the shifting demographics of a town like Alcúdia. It's the sort of assertiveness that has spawned the likes of the "Trobada" and the "Acampallengua", alongside the at-times dogmatic refusal by local authorities to use anything other than Catalan (they are meant to use both languages for official documents). There is an impression that there is a lack of concession made to the increased cosmopolitanism, while other manifestations of Catalan promotion, such as its use in the public sector, reflects a determination to hold on to the cultural emblem that is the language.

Yet there is no denying the cosmopolitan nature of even relatively small towns such as Alcúdia. There is also no turning the clock back; no back to the future. But there is a growing sense of polarism, not just in terms of language but also in political and societal attitudes, the latter being reflected in a possible radicalisation of the locally born young. If indeed it is the case that Catalan speakers are in a minority, one fancies that there will be those who are minded as to its implications.

QUIZ
Today's title - a '60s American singer, whose biography used this minor hit as its title. Think runaway.

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

The Costas' Lots

2009-07-08T00:00:00.000+02:00

The rumpus that has erupted regarding the new definition of limits under the demarcations of the law on the coasts (Ley de Costas - see previous 5 July: Saltbreakers) has all the makings of a major conflict between the Balearic Government and the hoteliers of Alcúdia and Muro. As soon as one was aware of these new definitions, it didn't take much to realise where all this could lead - conflict yes and possibly also the courts. To sum it all up, these new definitions encompass the salt lands and what is private or public land and go beyond the previous application to the beaches and distances from the shore line. The Costas authority has not so much moved the goal posts as erected a whole new goal and a penalty area. As reported by "The Diario", the directors-general of Iberostar (with five hotels in Playa de Muro and one in Puerto Alcúdia) and Grupotel are not happy, the former hoping that the director responsible for demarcation will respect the "tourism sensitivity".

There may be some special pleading emanating from the hoteliers, but who, frankly, can blame them? If developments, both existing and future, are to become confused by interpretations of law, where do these all leave what is the single most important sector of the local economy, one largely created by the hoteliers? The logic of these interpretations could be that hotels have to go. That is highly unlikely to happen, but there could be ramifications of different sorts, such as modifications and constraints on development or renovation. Why, though, is the Costas authority apparently determined to create an issue that will have an unclear conclusion and to cause a confrontation? The authority would argue, legitimately, that it is acting within its remit to protect the environment and to right any errors of the past and to prevent future building errors. Fair enough. But it also, surely, has a wider responsibility within the framework of the government to act in the best interests of the economy - locally and island-wide. Joined-up government? Probably not.

One needs to also consider that there has recently been a relaxation in respect of allowing hotels to undertake certain new developments - a relaxation intended to help boost the ailing construction industry. There is also governmental finance on hand to assist with this. Which department agreed this relaxation? The tourism ministry, not the environment ministry of which the Costas authority forms a part. There is a further twist to all this. The environment ministry, via the so-called "Decreto Grimalt", has established changes to procedures in respect of some construction (it is the same "decreto" that has caused the fuss about bar noise). Initially, this law was going to permit building in tourist areas during the summer. It was the vocal criticism of the hoteliers that brought about a retraction. While it seems that there are forces pulling against each other within government, one also wonders at the timing of the latest intervention by the Costas a month or so after the passing of this "decreto" minus its provisions for summer building work. It might also be noted that the president of the association representing the hotel chains, which was a powerful voice against the summer building, is also the director-general of Iberostar.

There are some powerful figures on the hotel side, not least the boss of Iberostar, a company it should be remembered that has enjoyed number one status as the most profitable of Mallorcan businesses. One might argue that big business needs to be confronted sometimes, but in this instance one detects a sense of jobsworthing taking on powerful business with no sensible outcome. All the more curious then when one realises that the director responsible for demarcation at the Costas is a former tourism minister.

On a different note, though there may be some question marks as to the precise legal interpretations of the status of the land on which hotels have been constructed, could anyone seriously argue that the hotels of Playa de Muro constitute something that is environmentally unsympathetic? For the most part, the hotel stock in Playa de Muro is of a superior standard to many resorts. Aesthetically, the hotels are generally appealing. Not all, but many: the Iberostars, Grupotel's Parc Natural, the Palace de Muro, the Viva Blue, La Dorada, and so on. The far more important issue regarding the resort, and its hotels, is securing its future as a thriving tourism location. The Costas' intervention is unwelcome.

I have had some words in the past against the hotel lobby, not least in respect of all-inclusive offers and the pressure to limit holiday lets, but on this one I am in complete agreement with them. It is the hotels that have created the resorts' and the island's wealth, not a government authority which seems hell-bent on acting against that wealth.

The SPCC and the Ashes
I should just mention that one of my correspondents has asked why the Sa Pobla Cricket Club, through my good offices, has not been given space to offer its thoughts on the Ashes. I can report that the SPCC is giving 15-8 on 2-1 in favour of ... the Australians! But ...

"And Fred is coming in on from the Fred (cold in Catalan) End ... and he's got Ricardo Ponting pierna delante de, er, wicket."

QUIZ
Yesterday's title, adapted slightly for today - Alan Sugar.

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Costalot

2009-07-07T00:02:00.000+02:00

"It's more expensive."

An increasingly familiar refrain and complaint. Mallorca is more expensive. Of course it is, or it at least seems so if you are a British tourist. It's all that pound and euro carry-on. In real terms, it is not necessarily more expensive than 2008, even if some insist that it is, and there are of course those who are "outraged" at the increase in tobacco prices - more of that in a bit.

On the Holiday Truths forum there is an exchange, quite a pedantic one at that, as to the relative costs of holidaying in Mallorca and the Costa Brava. As usual much of this boils down to anecdotal evidence - it cost me so and so for a pint of this and that. The pedant in the exchange is not actually wrong to demand rather stronger evidence as to Mallorca being more expensive. It's fair to challenge statements that may have no more support than the experiences of prices in one bar.

One can go and hunt for cost-of-living comparisons. It is possible to compare certain prices for Palma to those in Girona. It doesn't get you very far. Some are higher and some are lower. From memory, official statistics have always placed the Balearics towards the top of the relative costs of living for the regions of Spain, but so they also have for Catalonia. So no real clues there.

Someone in that exchange argues that prices are bound to be higher in Mallorca because of costs of transport from the mainland. There is sense in that view, but not totally. Take, for example, wine. If you want a decent bottle in Mallorca, one from the mainland will invariably be cheaper. The reason is simple. Vineyards on the mainland benefit from economies of production, i.e. they can create far greater volume. It comes down to one thing - land. That bottle of wine may be fractionally cheaper in Girona than in Mallorca, but the shipping element is incidental, especially if one factors in the bulk-purchasing capacity of supermarket chains and others. However, many restaurants in Mallorca will offer Mallorcan wines; more expensive ones than from the mainland.

Land is an important factor. Not only does it impact on the costs of production of local produce, it also affects costs of property and availability of property. On top of this there is the use of technology which is not always at the cutting-edge in Mallorca, as typified by the production of almonds which can be supplied more cheaply from California.

Certain costs do not differ between Mallorca and the mainland, such as those for employment. Social security costs are as high in Mallorca as anywhere else. Certain goods are subject to centralised price controls - tobacco for instance. The prices have risen recently as the Spanish Government seeks to increase tax revenues. That certain tobacco brands have increased substantially is not a consequence of "pressure" to limit the tobacco runs to the UK. Rolling tobacco and some low-cost cigarettes have gone up significantly because they were too cheap. To hear some tourists moaning and expressing outrage is absurd, especially when the moaning relates to the fact that the profit on their "orders" would be slashed. Whatever. The prices are still no higher in Mallorca than on the Costa Brava.

Tourists now see destinations such as Turkey and Bulgaria offering cheaper alternatives. Tourists benefited for many years from Mallorca - and indeed Spain - being a cheap destination. Gradually, because of the development which meant that Spain was no longer an economic basket case, wealth has accrued, no more so than in Mallorca. That wealth has been reflected in property prices and increases in costs - of all sorts. The point is that Mallorca is more expensive, because it is not a cheap place.

Once upon a time, back in the '60s when whatever you drank cost ten pesetas and workers lived in shanties, the tourist never had it so good. The costs of the original mass-tourism packages were ludicrously low as were the local prices. Without them, then mass tourism would probably never have kicked off and nor would the wealth that came from it. The tourist benefited from the exploitation of extreme low cost. It could never last - and of course has not. But there remains something of an expectation that things should still be cheap. It is an unrealistic expectation. Nowadays it's payback time.

I don't know about property prices on the Costa Brava, but my guess would be that they are lower than in Mallorca which is one of the most expensive parts of Spain. The resultant rents are probably the main difference in making the island more expensive, if indeed it is. With some produce it is, but mostly - there's no real difference.

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - The Who, "Won't Get Fooled Again": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zydAs5bRW1U. Today's title - who, preceding this with "Carlos", came up with this?

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

Meet The New Boss

2009-07-06T00:14:00.000+02:00

Muro has a new mayor. You're forgiven if you are underwhelmed by the news. Bear with me. The change follows the retirement of the previous incumbent, Jaume Perelló (Unió Mallorquina - UM). His replacement comes from the Partido Popular and Convergencia Democrática Murera (CDM) which garnered the support of the UM at Muro town hall in order to vote in the new mayor. His name is Martí Fornés. I wouldn't necessarily normally bring such news to your attention, and wouldn't have had it not been for the opaqueness of the reporting of his ascendancy to the mayoral office. This opaqueness was summed up by "The Diario" which merely said that Sr. Fornés is (was) an "experienced manager" with an "important hotel chain". The hotel chain was not named, nor was it in any other report I came across. I did some research. Among other things, I found a forum in Catalan and Castellano in which someone asks "where does he work?". The question posed was a while ago, but it was in connection with the planned golf course in Muro. After nine or ten pages of googling, there was an entry for the El Mundo Eldia website from 5 March 2007. There was the answer. Sr. Fornés was the finance director of Grupotel, the chain based in Muro and with four hotels in Playa de Muro - Alcúdia Suite, Amapola, Los Principes and the five-star Parc Natural.

Why this reticence to disclose the hotel chain? It is a Muro business, a successful one, an employer of people. Let's put it down to a media determination to not publicise the company. Perhaps. Or is naming the hotel chain somehow breaking a confidence? Surely not. It's a matter of record. It's information in the public domain. The reticence only adds to a certain intrigue. And why? Go back to that forum thread about the golf course.

In "The Diario" Sr. Fornés was open about his views as to the development on the Son Bosc finca. To sum them up, he's in favour of the golf course and believes that it will create employment and will meet environmental requirements. Fair enough; everyone knows where he stands. But the hotel connection does raise some issues, such as the fact that the largest shareholder (with 43%) in Golf Playa de Muro SA, the company behind the development, is Grupotel. (22 December 2008: That's Just The Way It Is.) Not really that it is anything unusual to have a mayor from this hotel chain; its president, Miquel Ramis, is a one-time incumbent.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest that one hotel chain or another might stand to benefit from the development. Experienced businesspeople are probably just what a place like Muro needs. Otherwise you might end up with some old farmer whose idea of a tourist attraction is to boil a goat and hand out lumps of bread to scoop up the broth. And if they are experienced businesspeople from within the community who have played a role in generating wealth for the town, then I see no problem, especially those with a tourism background. It may sound inappropriate as one has to assume at least some vested interest, but is it really?

I am not opposed to the golf development, certainly not on environmental grounds. What I have yet to be convinced as to is the business case for the development. Presumably one exists, and Sr. Fornés says that it will create more employment. But it would be nice to have it spelt out. Sr. Fornés was a finance director. Maybe he's the person who can do just that, always bearing in mind that 43% of any business case is Grupotel's.

In case you were wondering ... Mayors are actually selected by councillors, which is how Sr. Fornés comes to now be mayor.

And still down Muro way, a curious thing in "The Bulletin". It had its "beach of the day" yesterday. Platja de Muro (platja being the Catalan for playa). One could sense that something was not quite right about this, apart from calling it Platja as opposed to Playa as one might expect or the fact that the beach length was stated as being 430 metres; a zero seemed to have been missed. But it read a little oddly, for instance describing Can Picafort (in the directions to the beach) as a "village". No native speaker would call it that. It's not so difficult to find the answer - much of this came from the illesbalears site.

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Laura Veirs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcIz2iZXJFs. Today's title - had this before.

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

Saltbreakers

2009-07-05T00:02:00.001+02:00

Albufera once stretched as far as the port area of Alcúdia. The remaining undeveloped wetlands near the port are those close to the horse roundabout. Albufera was created from the sea; its water is partly salt, the Lago Esperanza is one of the few saltwater lakes in Spain. The sea has influenced the geography, the landscape and the ecology of Puerto Alcúdia and elsewhere on the bay of Alcúdia - Playa de Muro and Can Picafort, for example. Albufera is essentially a lagoon, divorced from the sea by the formation of dunes, forest and dried-out areas of salt deposits ("salinas").

This is no idle lesson in geography. Take some words from the above - "the sea has influenced", "dried-out areas of salt deposits". Why take them? Well because they are fundamental to what is threatening to become a major legal issue. The law on the coasts, that law under which, for instance, the chiringuito in Puerto Alcúdia is deemed illegal and therefore to be demolished, applies not just to beaches and what may or may not be built on them or within a certain distance of the shore line, but also to land - public land - that is deemed to be influenced by the sea. And this brings us to the "salinas".

Some 1,400 "private fincas" in Puerto Alcúdia, reports "The Diario", are potentially sitting on what is such dried salt land. Fincas, in this context, refer to plots of land, on which real estate has been built. This may all sound rather arcane, but being understood by few (a definition of arcane) could well lead to a legal minefield. Those who had not understood are likely to understand rather more clearly and are already being made to understand.

We have to track back a bit. The law on the coasts was actually enacted in 1988 but for all practical purposes it was hardly applied until 2004. It is now being applied with far more vigour. The law is a national one and was designed - in the late '80s -to attempt to rectify the building mistakes of the preceding three decades of development - mistakes in terms of the effects on the environment and in terms of legality. There is a distinction, under this law, between property developed before and after its enactment. It has already been established that certain properties, seemingly built legally before 1988, are in fact on so-called public domain. Owners have been granted rights for up to 60 years but they are unable to sell the properties. Under the law they would be demolished at the end of this period. After 1988? Well that's a different matter, and it is what has led to the horror stories of developments on the costas being flattened.

But to come back to those "salinas". The debate now centres on whether these were naturally or artificially created; if the latter then there is not a problem, if natural then there is. How on earth are they ever going to sort this out? Because of the geography in the bay area, it is only natural to conclude that much if not all of what is now Puerto Alcúdia and Playa de Muro is indeed on land that was influenced by the sea and in some way in the public domain, naturally created dried-out salt land or not. 1,400 fincas constitute a whole load of properties.

The good news is that the director responsible for decisions on demarcation under the law seems to respect the fact that some of these fincas are of "cultivation" and generate "riches", by which one presumes he is referring to hotels. On the other hand, there are fincas felt to be "unproductive" and "abandoned". What is unproductive? Someone's house? He, the director, is in discussion with various owners and the likes of the hotel assocation in Muro.

Unlikely though it is that this will lead to orders for mass demolition, the fact that the discussions are being held emphasises how seriously the law is being taken. But to what end? That there may have been breaches, indeed have been, no-one really doubts. Yet to pursue this with the vigour that is being suggested in this instance can lead only to colossal legal wrangling. The very fact that the 1988 law was basically held in abeyance for some 16 years only goes to prove that Spanish land laws over decades have been a complete mess and usually disregarded, and that land rights were, in all likelihood, the subject of anything but the law. To now be invoking something as obscure as what may or may not be public domain dried-out salty land just adds to the mess.

QUIZ
Today's title - you may have to be a keen blogotee to get this. Hers was the final title before Christmas last year.

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark

2009-07-04T00:04:00.000+02:00

As it's the fiesta season, more on fiestas following on from yesterday.

Financial reality is biting. The budgets for some towns' fiestas have been cut. Pollensa is apparently reducing its budget by some 25%. This in itself is quite an achievement given that the town hall has still to approve its budgets for 2009, but whatever. The music festival is unaffected, it is not seeing a reduction. Let us be thankful for this. Otherwise there might not be the wonder of, er, Tony Hadley. Alcúdia, meanwhile, will be exerting "control" to ensure that there are no excess costs. The same sort of control that led to the Can Ramis fiasco perhaps. But let's give them the benefit of the doubt.

If there may be some cuts to the likes of Virgen del Carmen and Patrona, these will not be to the cultural highlight that is the sophistication of the Pollensa Music Festival. It is a fine series of events, but whether it can be bracketed together with the fiestas is questionable. It is cultural and traditional only in the sense that tradition can be said to be less than 50 years old; it is cultural (Mallorca-wise) only in that there is a smattering of local talent; it is cultural (internationally) in that it is cultured and of a musical culture and tradition.

The fiestas are the epitome of local culture and tradition. For there to be cuts to their budgets is sensible in the current climate, but is not sensible in that the fiestas represent precisely the type of "alternative" tourism attraction that the Mallorcan tourist authorities keep banging on about. One might, however, legitimately ask whether less lavish fiestas and therefore spend would materially affect tourism in terms of numbers. I have my doubts.

But to come back to the music festival. This differs to the fiestas in one very major way. Though there is a budget for its staging, there are also revenues generated. Tony Hadley, for example, will set you back 40 of your European euros or 30 if you prefer to slum it in the one and nines. Only one event during the festival is free. The fiestas do not generate revenues, well not directly.

At Puerto Alcúdia's Sant Pere fiesta there was, for instance, the Mallorcan performer Tomeu Penya and his ensemble. The Orquestra Mediterrani was at Sant Pere; it will also be at Virgen del Carmen to serenade the fiesta-goers after the sun has gone down. These are just two examples of perfomers. Then there is all the rest, especially the fireworks. It's all free. And there's nothing wrong with that; the more that's free the better. The only problem is that someone has to pay. There's no such thing as a free lunch for the elderly fishermen of Alcúdia - for example. They (Pollensa town hall) can probably get away with not cutting the music festival budget because they're getting something into the coffers; the only something they get into the coffers for the fiestas are local taxes, some grants and maybe some sponsorship or some badgering of local businesses.

Conspicuous by its absence in the list of town halls mentioned in "The Diario" is that of Santa Margalida. Last year, some of you may recall, it was reported that the town hall was planning to increase its fiesta budget by well over a half from the 512,000 euros spent in 2008. It will be interesting to see if it has; it will also be little short of scandalous if it has. Or rather, it wouldn't be if there were a mechanism for recouping at least some of the outlay, and not through local taxes. I have no good practical suggestion as to how, but some sort of levy might not go amiss. If the fiestas are to remain and if they are to become more spectacular with ever more money going up in smoke in the form of fireworks, then those who enjoy them should be prepared to put their hands in their pockets.

The alternative view is that, if nothing else, the town halls should exist for staging grand fiestas. Perhaps that is where both the problem and the solution lie. Budgets for fiestas may be having to be cut, but one does wonder about the waste that leads to these cuts being necessary. Control, anyone?

Incidentally, the programme for Virgen del Carmen this year is now available on the WHAT'S ON BLOG - http://www.wotzupnorth.blogspot.com.

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Marvin Gaye, "What's Going On?": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtUMa0FtuWY.

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

Mother, Mother

2009-07-03T00:00:00.000+02:00

On the forum for thealcudiaguide, there was a question about supermarkets and which fiesta days affect their opening hours. I suggested that there were only two, during the main season, that meant they closed for the whole day in Alcúdia - Pedro and Jaime. There are, of course, the other holiday days that you do tend to forget. Like yesterday. Mother of God, it's another fiesta. And that was it. Mare de Déu de la Victoria that is celebrated next to the hermitage in the mountains above the town of Alcúdia. I knew it was the fiesta, but I had never cottoned on to the fact that it affects openings. Oh yes it does - banks closed, chemists closed, some shops and offices closed, supermarkets (the main ones) closing at two in the afternoon. How inconvenient is all this? I only realised all this as I happened to be at the paseo tourist office (which was staying open all day - the others were closed). San Pedro was on Monday; three days later there is another, and hardly anyone knows about it, unless they are truly immersed in the local traditions. I admit, therefore, that I am not, as - Mother of God - I wasn't aware. I am now.

The fiestas are an essential ingredient of the local way of life, they provide colour, spectacle and interest. No-one, least of all myself, is suggesting that they are abandoned. But how sensible is it that they disrupt the normal flow of commerce to the extent that they do? Profound changes have taken place and have impacted upon society and business, and yet, while these changes have occurred, the society itself has refused to change; it is caught in a time-warp. You can argue that the continuation of tradition and of the lack of change to society is an admirable thing in face of voracious commercialism, and you would be right, but there is a dissonance between this maintenance of tradition, this lack of change and the complaints about economic circumstances and all the rest. Now, the fiestas do not fundamentally affect the tourism economy, and so you can also argue that their regularity is at best neutral in terms of productivity, but they are indicative of a psychology that wants everything as it was while keeping all the commercial gains as well. But the poor tourist is inconvenienced. If he has schlepped up from Bellevue to do some economical supermarketing only to find the nearest Eroski shut, he has every right to feel hot, sweaty and more than a bit hacked off. The point is that, in a tourist resort, the tourist should take precedence. It may not be a view that everyone is comfortable with, but it is the tourist who pays for Alcúdia, not a bit of ball de bot by the hermitage.

In the wider context, it would seem that, finally, something is to give where shopping hours in Palma are concerned; it's been a point of debate and criticism for some while that the opening hours are so limited. It's a start I suppose. On top of societal conservatism, one can add the role of unions and Church in opposing change. Some years ago, the Germans, under Gerhard Schröder, attempted a liberalisation; it was burnt down in the flames of Hades by the strength of the religious and union lobbies and quickly dropped. It was a mistake. Of course, you can also argue that the Anglo-Saxon view of market liberalism and the combination of Thatcherite union bashing and religious indifference led to the 24-hour shopping and commerce culture of the UK, and that to view the local situation it is necessary to adopt a different cultural perspective. You would be right in this regard as well. But there should be greater compromise and willingness to change. Last year, as the storms of crisis gathered and there were moans coming from businesses, it was revealing that moaners were happy enough to clear off to Menorca for two to three days to celebrate Sant Joan. Go figure.

QUIZ
Today's title - the first two sung words from one of the greatest songs ever.

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The Grateful Dead

2009-07-02T00:08:00.000+02:00

Were you aware that in the grounds of the aerodrome and military base in Puerto Pollensa there is a stone plinth that lists, in tribute, the names of members of the Condor Legion who died during the Civil War? The Condor Legion, lest it has been forgotten, consisted of German Luftwaffe pilots and personnel who came to the aid of Franco's Nationalists: Guernica was razed thanks to the bombs of the Condor.

Does it matter that this plaque is still in the military base? Pollensa's mayor Cerdà thinks so and took the opportunity of the arrival of military personnel for their annual vacations at the holiday camp that is the military base to reiterate a demand for its removal. Damn right he should. It contravenves, allegedly, the law on historic memory that is designed to rid Spain of symbols of the Franco era. The "monolith" carries the legend "they fell for the liberty of Spain in the battle against the Bolsheviks" (reporting from "The Diario"). It does more than that; it contravenes all sense of morality.

The law on historic memory, applied in its strictest way, might be considered to be excessive, if only for practical reasons, such as the re-naming of streets with Francoist connotations. But in the case of the military base roll of honour, its observance should apply; the monolith should go. There might be a sense of unease were the monolith to be destroyed; unease in respect of the sensitivities of the families of those pilots who died. But the Condor dead go beyond a mere Spanish issue. It was the bombing of Guernica that finally alerted the Allies to what would lie in wait if Nazi Germany went to war - and did lie in wait. The Condor was the export of Nazi militaristic ideology, and the Puerto Pollensa monolith has as much a European dimension as it does a Spanish.

Germany has not sought to erase all memory of Nazism. Anyone who has been to Dachau can testify to that. Preserving the obscenities of the Nazis remains a way of educating and countering a re-emergence ("never again"). The Condor memorial is on a totally different scale, of course, and it is of a different type, but it is still stone engraved from the same wretched quarry of inhumanity. (It should be noted that it is now more than ten years since the Germans legislated to remove the names of members of the Condor from military bases.) Moreover, it is a reminder as to how close Europe might have got to following a different course of history. Franco may have been grateful for German assistance in his fight against the Republicans, but his personal dislike and mistrust of Hitler (and the feeling was mutual) was a strong factor in Spain staying out of the Second World War.

The continuing presence of such a memorial in what is essentially a non-military military base, one frequented by personnel from Spain and other countries and used as a holiday camp, is anachronistic and offensive. For the plinth to still exist within the grounds of a base for holidaying militaries that serve current-day democracies is frankly a disgrace. There may be a vague moral issue attached to its removal, that relating to the families of the dead, but the greater morality lies in the wider context of what that memorial represents. They should get rid of it.

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Abba: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8bm6XlxuCY.

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Can You Hear The Drums, Fernando?

2009-07-01T00:00:00.001+02:00

That questionnaire from a couple of days ago. You do wonder, where it invites comments, quite what some people might choose to put about Puerto Pollensa. Doogy-doo aside, there is likely to be space found for how things have changed for the worse.

In Puerto Pollensa yesterday I got a feeling of been here, got the football replica t-shirt about a couple of conversations. One related the story of a Puerto P veteran of some 30 years who was bemoaning the fact that, and this was the nub of it, there were on the loose what looked like those who back in the UK would have their collars felt by plod. Not that plod would feel the collar in Puerto P as these "criminal types" would be without shirt and would doubtless be displaying love or hate or dragon or knife or whatever in the form of some body art. "Just like Alcúdia." No it is not, and save us from this snobbery; it is just like many places. And that is probably the main problem that the vets have with Puerto P; it has become or is becoming like other resorts.

Someone else was complaining about the entertainment from the Daina. It used to be relatively restrained, but now an audience-arousing Abba tribute can be heard across the bay, disturbing the gin and tonics of the waterworldists moored off-shore.

"Where are you all frommmmm?" "Eng-er-laaannndd."

"Can you hear the drums, Fernando?" "I can hardly miss them, old chum," would reply Fernando if he were not a Fernando. The Abba-isation of this frontline hotel was, you guessed it, "just like Alcúdia", though he was not being critical of Alcúdia, just pointing out that it was different. Except it isn't, if Puerto P can be "just like Alcúdia." Illogical, captain.

Puerto Pollensa has largely been spared the excesses of other resorts. It is not blighted by all-inclusive ghettoes; it does not have its strip or mile; it does not have karaoke after Delboy-televisual rows of bars, albeit that there is karaoke if you want it and Delboy did actually make his own intervention some years ago. It has retained a sense of decorum. But, and this I guess is the main beef of many, the special character of Puerto Pollensa, its understated and quiet demeanour, has been allowed to be altered. Nothing stays the same, but one is entitled to ask why more of an effort was not made to prevent the place slipping into the mass-resort pit of being much like other places. In truth, it still is not, but the essential Britishness of the resort was, at some point, likely to break out from just a Britishness of shire, manor and manners to one that reflects a more total Britain - one also of Corrie, footy and the boys' bevvy.

The more upmarket nature of Puerto Pollensa is being eroded, I am told. Clients of one operator who I shall not identify says that his clients are neither coming back to him nor to the resort. The reason? Because it's not like it was. Despite this, one is also entitled to ask why are vets of 30 years or so still returning. Puerto Pollensa may have changed, but it is still a place that many treat as a second home and that maintains an intangible feel that many would not swap for anywhere else.

He's back - don't cry!
And so one has to report that he's back. Yep, José is once again Bony-ing. He had been expected to take a rest for the whole summer, but you can't keep a good man down - and he is a good man. "Write on the internet," he insisted. So I am. And to celebrate the great return, everyone will get their first drink free on Friday and Saturday.

Samira - Puerto Alcúdia
There was a comment left for an old piece that mentioned Samira restaurant in Puerto Alcúdia. It was very complimentary and they were hoping to return. Sadly, it has closed.

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Had it before, but what the ... "Viva La Vida", Coldplay: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvgZkm1xWPE. Today's title - well, you've been given it.

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Saint Peter Won't Call My Name

2009-06-30T00:01:00.001+02:00

From the crystal skull hanging in the night sky over the dark bay to the trinkets and toffees of the street market, the procession of radio and the giants moving ominously and massively and slowly into the port and the demons spitting fire, racing along the sand and threatening with their temptations, and the dance of old times, costumes of an age gone by out of sync with the stage and amplification and the orchestras and modern musical hero and the sound of drums, the energetic games on the beach, a ball in volleyed motion, castles upon pillars of sand, the old fishermen gathering in tribute and taking their suppers or their lunches maybe for a last time, the solemn massing, Roman cavalry choirs singing, and the bearing aloft of an image that has patronised and watched over the catches of those old men of the sea with their nets and needles and craft of handiwork and buoyancy, and the buoyant flotilla criss-crossing the bay as the darkness descends before being engulfed in bursts and cascades of hundreds of colours and noises and then to a gradual silence as the climax fades to the last embers of fiesta and the passing away for one more year to wait for San Pedro to be repeated and for the call to be issued again to many but to some others not. Or is that the other way round?

Three wheels on my ...
I once had a girlfriend who used a three-wheeled bike. It was the first time I could recall having seen one since I was small. There is something quirky and rather appealing about a tricycle; there should be more of them. There is one in Puerto Pollensa, well a representation of one; it sits on one of the roundabouts of Roundabout New Town that is the bypass, the roundabout for L'Ullal that you exit for the Pollensa Park. It is utterly charming, a piece of old-maid Mary Poppinstry; it is also sinister in its being totally unexpected, its apparent lack of context and, or am I imagining this memory, its echo of the mystery and paranoia of "The Prisoner". It, or rather what is beneath it, boasts a visual gag. The photo is above. The gag is the blue cycle lane, the same as that which runs by the side of the bypass road. It is a sculpture that, in its exactness, its lack of the abstract is striking in its peculiarity and genteel visual surprise. Together with its earth-based airborne companion two roundabouts away, the Canadair by Eroski, the deckchair of Las Gaviotas and the Dijous Bo basket of Inca, the trike forms a collection of the finest of these outdoor art exhibits. Superb.

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Peter, Paul and Mary, for example. Today's title - and other clues in the first part about the San Pedro fiesta.

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

Index for June 2009

All-inclusives - 17 June 2009, 18 June 2009, 19 June 2009, 26 June 2009
Associations - 22 June 2009, 28 June 2009
Bars and bar staff, Puerto Alcúdia - 14 June 2009, 17 June 2009, 18 June 2009, 20 June 2009, 22 June 2009
Bars, music curfew - 10 June 2009, 16 June 2009
British newspapers in Mallorca - 7 June 2009, 8 June 2009, 9 June 2009, 26 June 2009
British population in Mallorca - 7 June 2009
Café Playero Club, Puerto Alcúdia - 16 June 2009
Cala San Vicente - 11 June 2009
Castilian v. Catalan - 1 June 2009, 3 June 2009
Chinese restaurants, Puerto Pollensa - 18 June 2009
Dakota Tex-Mex - 5 June 2009
Demolition of beach bars - 15 June 2009, 16 June 2009
Ensaimada - 25 June 2009
Entertainment - 2 June 2009
ESRA - 28 June 2009
European elections - 1 June 2009
Europeos por Europa - 22 June 2009
Fiestas - 12 June 2009, 13 June 2009, 30 June 2009
Fires at Bellevue - 4 June 2009, 20 June 2009, 24 June 2009
History, Puerto Alcúdia - 20 June 2009
Holiday club sctratch cards - 1 June 2009
Internet, newspapers via the - 9 June 2009
Michael Jackson's death - 27 June 2009
Muro centre upgraded - 10 June 2009
Noise contamination law - 16 June 2009
Playa de Muro market - 24 June 2009
Pollensa, restaurant/bar terraces - 4 June 2009
Potato event, Sa Pobla - 5 June 2009
Proportional representation - 3 June 2009
Puerto Pollensa tourism questionnaire - 29 June 2009
Restaurants and the economic crisis - 25 June 2009
Sa Pobla train breakdown - 25 June 2009
Sant Pere (San Pedro) fiesta, Puerto Alcúdia - 13 June 2009, 30 June 2009
Shop sales slump - 6 June 2009
Son Bauló frontline - 15 June 2009
Talk Of The North - 14 June 2009
Toni Nadal criticises Paris public - 4 June 2009
Tourism crisis - 28 June 2009
Tourism promotion - 4 June 2009, 12 June 2009
Tourism seasonality - 19 June 2009
Tourist information office, Puerto Alcúdia - 19 June 2009
Traditional resorts, are there any? - 23 June 2009
Tricycle roundabout sculpture, Puerto Pollensa - 30 June 2009
Trobada de Músics per la Llengua 2009 - 24 June 2009
Waste collection, Puerto Pollensa - 13 June 2009

Lemon Tree

2009-06-29T00:01:00.000+02:00

My first, for want of a better description, "business mentor" liked to describe things as a lemon. He was one of the mid-European Jews who fled the Nazis and ultimately created a thriving business in England - and no, he wasn't Robert Maxwell. He would say to me: "all you end up viz, Endy, is a lemon." He used it primarily in connection with market research and especially surveys and questionnaires, and the fact that their results added up to little or to mixed messages from which you could divine little - hence the lemon. A later sort-of mentor, one time the youngest professor of marketing in the UK, would have disagreed. Indeed he once sent me a stiff memo taking me to task for an editorial about the function of market surveys. He did, though, know a thing or two about market research and questionnaires; in fact, he wrote the book, or one of them at any rate.

Lemons and function of surveys came to mind as I looked at the questionnaire for tourists from Pollensa town hall. I suspect that one function, if not the function, is that of market research as PR; being seen to be attempting to engage with the tourist by, God forbid, asking for his or her opinion. Fair enough, but what do they do with the results, if anything. A clue may lie with the word "may". At the top of the questionnaire it says that "this may help us to improve our service". Not will, but may. The questionnaire, or a variant thereof, has been doing the rounds for a few years now. Have results ever been published or acted upon? Maybe they have, in which case it would be nice to know where and how. You know that highly publicised but highly useless tourism website for Pollensa - www.pollensa.com - that might be a good place. Don't hold your breath.

Setting aside the misspelling of accommodation (one "m") and the presence of the dubious "professionality", the questionnaire is not wholly weak. It uses the "grade from 1 to 10" style to ask about things that can, I guess, be graded, e.g. "quality of beaches", though which ones is another matter. But some of it ... . The visitor is, for example, asked to grade "food shopping facilities", "non-food shopping facilities" and then "staff professionality", presumably of these food and non-food shopping facilities. Why? And what is going to happen if that "professionality" is deemed to be low? Is someone going to issue a stern reprimand to the check-out girls at Eroski or a sales assistant in a souvenir shop? And how exactly is one supposed to respond to the request to grade the "price/quality ratio of installations in your accomodation" (sic)? What does it mean anyway?

What do they do with answers yes or no to "have you noticed any changes since your last stay". It would be hugely surprising if there hadn't been any changes; it's pointless. Or ... "did you know that the island has its own language and culture?" "Which one?" It may not be unreasonable to ask about the language, but culture? Cultures exist everywhere; it's a daft question. I could go on.

If the town hall was serious about finding out about tourists' views, they would regularly book rooms in hotels, invite tourists along with the incentive of buckets of free sangria and spend an hour doing some sort of focus group. But in truth, they don't need to. If they bothered to go to the internet sites, they would find much of what they need to know. And then still not do anything with the information.

Lemons? It's the whole tree.

Postcards from Mallorca
And so the article yet again did not appear in "The Bulletin" - the one about Alcúdia bar owners and all-inclusives. I give up, though I reiterate that I personally am not bothered if it is chosen to appear or not. But to add salt to the wound of the apparent indifference and the publicity given to Calvia bar owners, yesterday's paper had a page devoted - once more - to John bloody Bercow and one to something called the Deyá (aka Deià) postcard. How many British residents are registered in Deià? 74. How many in Alcúdia? 874.

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Echo & The Bunnymen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLX_6WwXFUI. Today's title - well, go on take your pick as to this one.

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

Nothing Lasts Forever

2009-06-28T00:00:00.000+02:00

So, that article did not appear in "The Bulletin" - Michael Jackson got in the way it would seem - but it left some sufficiently hacked off because there was another piece about the Calvia bar association. Always Calvia, never Alcúdia - not my view, but what I hear. It is now meant to appear today. Ho hum.

This Calvia association. The desire is to get bar owners to become members and then act in some form of pressure capacity. I get a sinking feeling about it. The mover behind it is one of those who was involved in the ill-fated (Calvia-originated) British and Irish Business and Residents Association. It collapsed through lack of funding that was not forthcoming from the Mallorca Council; at least that's my understanding. There was probably also an element of here's an association, here's some publicity and here is then massive indifference. Which is not to say that these things spring up without good intentions; but it is to say that people, for a variety of reasons, do not wish to get involved. Those reasons include the fact that they do not wish to be identified, that they don't have the time and that they are just not interested. The only association that has ever truly established itself is ESRA (English Speaking Residents' Association). It exists primarily for one reason - English speaking. There is no real agenda, which probably explains why it's successful. People feel comfortable with an essentially benign group of fellow expats which courts neither controversy nor publicity. Plenty others feel uncomfortable if they are not straw-hatters, prefer not to wear black ties and attend dinner and dance functions or prefer not to play bowls; hence they do not join. ESRA goes about its admirable charity efforts and good works, its committees and gardening contests with all the gentility of an English shire country fête. Why, when I think of ESRA, can I never get out of my head the image of Matt Lucas and David Walliams as Judy and Maggie judging the marmalade?

It's all a bit last days of the Raj, and to hear some of what is currently being said one might well form the impression that ESRA - and every other association as well as agency of government - is bearing witness to the last rites of things as they are known in Mallorca. I was given a right old ear-bashing by a (Mallorcan) restaurant owner in Playa de Muro the other day. "What do I do?" he kept asking. "What's the solution?" he demanded of me. As if I know. Why not get all the owners together and put on some sort of protest, suggested I. It won't happen. But there is some sense in associations, that do represent interests, coming together to voice their legitimate concerns as to the direction in which the tourism economy (the summer one) is heading - or more accurately, has gone. Recession is temporary, but the underlying decline has been there for some years, a combination of competition, reduced spend, over-supply and all-inclusives. The depressing fact is that complacency has prevented more or less everyone - government, local authorities and yes bar and restaurant owners - from recognising or at least admitting the trend. It has taken the "crisis" to finally wake everyone up. But having had some choice words for Muro town hall, this particular owner said, "so we protest and then the tourists all end up going to Turkey". It's an exaggeration, but it contains some truth in that there is a general impotence in the face of tour operator power and tourist choice.

Though there can be sympathy for bar and restaurant owners, it is also in limited supply for some, especially, I'm sorry to have to say, the Mallorcan families who have enjoyed the benefits of and reaped the rewards from tourism. The hardships tend more to be confined to newcomers, often foreign. Many of these families, some of them doing the moaning now, are sitting on significant wealth, or at least the potential to release wealth. Mallorca grew fat and made many Mallorcans wealthy thanks to various factors that dropped into the laps of these Mallorcans: first, perhaps the only sensible policy that the Franco regime had (to develop mass tourism); second, the tourist benevolence of tour operators, airlines and the tourists themselves; third, the benevolence of Europe in creating a modern economy for Spain and the island. Nothing lasts. That is the real point and the real problem. The tourist is spread far more thinly, he has more options. He, the tourist, and the tour operator can give and have given; they can also take away.

Sympathy there is, but there needs to also be a serious dose of realism. One detects a sense by which some of these owners believe that tourists continue to owe them; that they most certainly do not.

QUIZ
Today's title - Liverpool band formed, remarkably it seems, more than 30 years ago.

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

Living Off The Wall

2009-06-27T00:01:00.001+02:00

The reporting of Michael Jackson's death was a remarkable example of how the internet has totally changed the rules of such reporting. I learned of it through the "feeds", one of them from the site that actually broke the news - the celebrity website tmz.com. By itself this was remarkable. It was not an established news service that made the announcement but a celebrity site. Despite the fact that the likes of the BBC and the "LA Times" had yet to confirm the death, the TMZ statement was good enough; it is a reliable source. I twittered the news and put the note on the blog before those other confirmations came through. Very small contributions but indicative of how established news and media have been partially undermined by the web; there would have been thousands perhaps millions who had done the same. Internet rumour there can often be, but this was internet fact.

The subsequent coverage that I listened into - on Five Live - was extraordinary in different ways. Though it was getting late, it was a story that was unfolding in real time. It reminded me, albeit that it was very different, to television reporting of Scud attacks on Israel during the first Gulf War. Somehow you just couldn't go to bed. Why was Jackson's death so gripping? Personally, it was and is not something that affects me particularly. Yet, it is probably reasonable to place it alongside the shocks of other famous deaths - Elvis, Lennon, Diana. Lennon's murder did affect me, partly because it was an unnatural death, but also because I grew up with him and his music; he was also British. Diana was even more of a shock, but it took a girlfriend to explain the depth of that shock - she had grown up with Diana. (I'd add that John Peel's death was more personal than most, but he wasn't in the same celebrity league.)

Jackson's death was gripping because, yes, he was a staggeringly good artist, but he was also staggeringly peculiar. His story was destined to be terminated by an early death. How else could it have ended - from the image of the young Michael of "ABC" to his emergence as a solo performer and the dancing in the record store in Leicester Square where I worked and where we used to play "Off The Wall", to the almost single-handed creation of MTV, the acceptance of black artists and the sheer brilliance of "Billie Jean", to the morphing into an androgynous, non-specific species and then to the tragedy of the molestation charges and a career seemingly in ruins.

I asked some people yesterday, why are there no Michael Jackson tributes playing the hotels and entertainment bars of Alcúdia? His oeuvre is so extensive, so well-known that he would fit the bill as a recognisable tribute. But the Elvises, the Abbas and all the rest are easy. Jackson would not be. How could any tribute transform himself from young black boy to something from a wax museum freak show without being hugely tasteless? How could anyone dance quite like that? There will doubtless now be those who attempt it, and it will almost certainly be wrong - and BAD. There is a "Thriller" opening in London soon, but the sheer difficulty of being a tribute act for Michael Jackson probably says much about him as an artist and as a person. There was no-one quite like him.

(There is in fact a Jackson 5 doing the rounds; you can catch them down The Mile now and then; maybe they're now the Jackson 4. And last night Jacksonmania had taken hold, well slight exaggeration, around The Mile; Las Vegas was Jackson, Jackson, Jackson, but next door Vamps had declared a Michael Jackson-free zone.)

Victoria's Animal Refuge Charity Day
Today there is a worthy cause to support, the Victoria's Animal Refuge in Alcúdia. The annual charity day that takes place on the Little Britain supermarket terrace between 10.30 and 2.30 aims to raise money for items such as splash pools to keep the dogs cool in the summer heat. If you had not seen it earlier, there is more information to be found on the WHAT'S ON BLOG - http://www.wotzupnorth.blogspot.com.

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - David Bowie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGo9KkZea_s.

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

John, I'm Only Debating

2009-06-26T00:03:00.000+02:00

Are you bothered that John Bercow is the new Speaker of the House of Commons? If you live in the UK and/or are a student of politics, then probably you are. But if you live somewhere else, let's say Mallorca for example, unless you are that student of politics, are you really that bothered? To the extent, that is, that the subject has been written up by the local press, i.e. "The Bulletin", and has been the subject of letters to the same paper.

The story itself is worth reporting, of course it is; the readership is British after all. But the column inches it has generated serves once more to highlight the degree to which stories that do not materially affect people who live in Mallorca dominate to the exclusion of local news and comment. It's interesting, sure, but not that interesting.

In the current "Euro Weekly" there is the regular piece by that old scoundrel Leapy Lee. This current article is worthy of attention; it is a strong condemnation of all-inclusives and of the change to the law on bar noise. Ok, there is some potential vested interest - he is a bar owner in Calvia where there the law has been implemented - but this does not negate the sentiments of what he has to say. There is something interesting at the end of this piece. He says: "I'm sorry to have been a little ‘Mallorca indulgent’ this week." He has written about something that does materially affect a lot of people on the island - in a way that John Bercow does not - and yet sees the need to apologise. For those used to rants against "Herr Braun" and expect a weekly diatribe of a somewhat dubious right-wing nature about how bad things are under Labour, then perhaps his devoted readership needs an apology. It shouldn't be.

Coincidentally, I was told that that thing I did about bar owners and all-inclusives in Alcúdia will now be appearing this Saturday in "The Bulletin". Well, that's what I'm told anyway. But if it is a part of contributing to a wider debate and awareness-raising as to the impact of all-inclusives, then one can but hope that there will indeed be a wider and more fruitful debate and also campaign conducted in the paper's pages. It is a subject that all the media in Mallorca needs to be devoting serious attention to. It is the "principal problem" with the island's tourism model, as I said the other day. But the debate needs to go further than the normal volleys across the net of how-bad, how-good all-inclusives are. We've heard it all before. There should be a call for some genuine research, perhaps conducted by the tourism department of the university in Palma, as to the impact of all-inclusives. Whether it would be commissioned is another matter; the conclusions might not be what certain bodies want to hear. But this is the direction that the debate needs to go in; not just a constant reiteration of anecdotal moans and praise.

John Bercow by all means, but let there be less of him and more of the real issues facing the island. Personally, I reckon Bercow is a good choice, but I don't really care one way or the other. Now, if Ann Widdecombe had got the gig ... What a hoot that would have been.

Michael Jackson
What can you say? Remarkable that tmz.com broke the story.

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - The Beastie Boys: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sbqIyeed4g. Today's title - one word changed of course; who?

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

Sabotage

2009-06-25T00:05:00.000+02:00

Fires seem to be the theme of the moment. If it's not the Bellevue hotel, it must be the Sa Pobla train. There was, you may recall, an incident last month (16 May: Wheel's On Fire). There was another three days ago. A breakdown of the train between Muro and Sa Pobla stations led to a small fire, albeit one that caused no great alarm. This might have passed off without any great comment, were it not for the fact that the regional government's minister for transport "insinuated" that there had been an act of "sabotage" (as reported in "The Diario", 23 June). Yesterday the paper reported that the minister had posted a note on his website which said that the train breakdowns "cannot be attributed to acts of sabotage". The operator, SFM, has said that the incidents are down to "deficient maintenance" and that train workers are not "delinquents". Whatever. There is apparently a threat of a strike on 1 July which the minister had originally, it seemed, linked to the alleged sabotage, which we now know it wasn't.

The ensaimada doesn't taste so sweet
One of the less obvious victims of recession is the Mallorcan ensaimada, that lump of lard and sugar that passes as a local delicacy. Production and sales are down, the latter by a quarter in a year. The decline can partly be attributed to competition from other produce, such as cheese and oil, which is bought as a "souvenir" in airports and elsewhere (and it is common to see passengers at Palma airport traipsing around with boxes of ensaimadas). Perhaps there is a further reason, and that is that people have finally come to the conclusion that, amidst all the excellence and healthiness of the beneficial local diet, there is really no place for something that has no benefit. I refrain from saying that these people do not find the ensaimada excellent (well I suppose I have actually said it), as there is enough fuss made about it to conclude that some do consider it be so. Why they do is a mystery.

Restaurants resigned to their fate
Wandering around the restaurants of Puerto Pollensa and Puerto Alcúdia, there seems to be a sense of resignation about this season's problems. In Puerto Pollensa one hears a regular refrain: things are bad or very bad, but there is an apparent acceptance that everyone is in the same boat, which makes things rather less difficult to bear. In Puerto Alcúdia, one frontline restaurant had but only one table occupied the other evening. This does rather echo a view elsewhere that, though the same restaurant is doing ok at lunchtimes, the tendency seems to be for tourists to go out for only one meal a day as opposed to two or even three. There is a hope that the San Pedro fiesta will boost flagging revenues. Away from the bars and restaurants, there is one sector that does seem to be doing reasonably well, and that is car-rentals. Despite the problems in this sector, those of a lack of credit to buy in new and large fleets, resulting in a reduced number of cars available for hire, the effect has been generally positive where local companies are concerned as they are picking up customers whose demand cannot be satisfied by the larger operators. Not that this prevented one local car-rental company owner complaining that "there is no money". No, of course there isn't. Discretion prevents me from naming his car of choice.

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - The Prodigy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmin5WkOuPw. And congratulations to Lynne who, in getting the right answer, wins a copy of the special limited edition book "Great Barmen of Alcúdia". Today's title - two Mikes, an MC and an Ad, and they still are (some acts never grow up).

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

Firestarter

2009-06-24T00:06:00.000+02:00

A second fire at Bellevue. Following the incident earlier this month in the Minerva 1 block, there was another, this time in Minerva 2. The fire originated in a lift shaft. Word is that the first fire also originated in a lift and not the laundry-room. Seems a bit of a coincidence. Whatever the situation regarding the alarms, one cannot help but be a little sympathetic. Bellevue gets it in the neck for all sorts of reasons, but if it has a problem with some deliberate fire-starting then that's not its fault. Of course, they may not have been deliberate. But the circumstances seem too similar for the conclusion not to be drawn.

It should be stressed that, notwithstanding some distressing reports left on internet sites following the first fire, there have not been serious casualties as a result of either fire. But what if there had been? Or worse. God knows what impact that would have had on Alcúdia, to say nothing of the effects on the hotel and its directors. The tour operators might have been unnerved as well.

Without going into the circumstances of the incidents, and saying again that there should be sympathy for the hotel, what they do is once again to highlight the significance of Bellevue. The hotel is vast. Its vastness is what leads to so much comment on the internet - good and bad. It is also, for a not insignificant number of tourists, synonymous with Alcúdia. Rightly or wrongly (and it is wrong), that is the reality, and you can read it for yourselves if you are minded to trawl through all those sites - which I have. It is for this reason that the hotel needs to be far more aware of its PR and of its obligations to the town. Does anyone there take any notice of those sites? And if so, what do they do about it?

Catalan music festival
There is to be another Catalan festival. This one will take place on Saturday in Pollensa. It is the tenth "Trobada de Músics per la Llengua" (meeting of musicians for the language). The event takes its name from an organisation devoted to the promotion and recognition of music in the Catalan language and artists - DJs, bands etc. - who perform in the language. Unlike the "Acampallengua" event in Sa Pobla, about which it was possible to express some disquiet as to the political overtones of a Catalan festival aimed largely at a youth audience, there should be no such concern with this. Quite the contrary, except among those who are determined to oppose manifestations of Catalan promotion. This is about music in a certain language in the same way that Scottish, Irish and Welsh artists perform in their own languages. Does anyone seriously suggest that they shouldn't? Probably.

(More information on the "Trobada de Músics per la Llengua" is on the WHAT'S ON BLOG - http://www.wotzupnorth.blogspot.com.)

Playa de Muro's market
The market in Playa de Muro is now taking place on Mondays in the late afternoons and evenings. Hats off for some common sense. When the market was shifted from a Saturday, it was in the hope of generating more traffic, given that Saturday is a big transfer day. It was always going to be a forlorn hope. By definition, Playa de Muro exists because of its beach, and that is where most tourists go, rather than to a market that, in any event, lacks a certain something because of its unauthentic nature, in other words it is not staged in an old town or a market square such as Puerto Pollensa's. Despite its lack of atmosphere, the move to the evenings is positive. It will be more likely to get tourists out of their all-inclusive bunkers and hopefully generate more business not just for the market traders but also for the shops and restaurants. Yep, good.

(For a previous piece on Playa de Muro's market, see 21 August 2008: Things That Make You Go Hmm ...)

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Tanita Tikaram: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGe0JD3GilM. Today's title - and who were these madmen?

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

A Good Tradition

2009-06-23T00:13:00.000+02:00

What do you understand "traditional" to mean? Traditional as it is applied to resorts in Mallorca. There is a thread on the Holiday Truths Majorca forum about this. It's interesting for various reasons, one of which even has to do with the original enquirer's wish to find somewhere "traditional".

But to come to the question. Traditional. Define and discuss. Here is what the Concise Oxford has to say: "traditional: of, based on, or obtained by tradition". Clear as mud, but it is only a dictionary. One has to read into that and create one's own version. Traditional is somewhere that retains a Mallorcan tradition. Er, yes. And that is? Perhaps it is easiest to run through a thesaurus for words that might qualify as being associated with "traditional": quaint, quiet, sleepy, non-commercialised, old. Or perhaps one can reach for the vagueness of "Spanish" or the more exact but still opaque "typical Mallorcan". None of this gets one very far. It could be more fruitful to try a process of imagery, one composed of cottages, of yellow or terracotta walls, of blue shutters and whitewashing, of bougainvillaea and hibiscus, of unhurried and ramshackle bars and restaurants, of a sucking pig slowly being roasted, of old men in the market square talking for hours, of a coffee that takes hours to drink, of religious icons and imposing churches, of summer nights with an accompaniment of the rhythm of the cicada and of pipe music and the dance of the ball de bot.

All of this imagery exists and to varying degrees the resorts maintain it, even if it is often lost amidst the palaces of tourism, the contemporary greyness of residential apartment blocks and the noise of the moto and the karaoke. Maybe to attempt to define "traditional" is an impossible task. Ultimately, it falls to individual perceptions, and so you get some of the suggestions contained in that thread, though how Can Picafort can creep into the list does take some leap of imagination. But maybe not. There is another side to traditional, which resides in the tradition of holiday. To that end, Can Pic, The Mile and other places are traditional; just in a completely different sense of the word.

Locally, there are pockets of tradition. Barcares and Morer Vermell could well satisfy the thesaurus demand for sleepy and quaint; Cala San Vicente might if one could hold only certain images, such as that of Bar Mallorca, the steps and restaurants leading down past Hotel Niu to the cove and the view across Molins bay. But the first two named hardly qualify as resorts, and the Cala, in addition to the hotel and new apartment stock of its frontline, has an interior of tree-lined streets of residences that might be found in a well-heeled part of the Home Counties.

Puerto Alcúdia is not just The Mile, despite what some might think, but the port area has little that could be said to be "traditional". Puerto Pollensa, on the other hand, is a leading contender. It has, if one is being strictly objective, only a minority of elements that might satisfy the definition. But despite the Dakota-isation and Taylor Woodrow-ism, stop for a moment and consider the church square, the Illa d'Or, the cottages of the pinewalk. Here there is some of that tradition. And then there is something intangible, something that makes the defining of "traditional" an exercise of the abstract. There is a feel. It is this, more than anything, that would make Puerto Pollensa the leading contender. But can any resort be said to be traditional? There are only degrees of less overt and less blatant statements of the excesses of mass tourism. "Traditional" is really the preserve of the old towns and of the hinterland.

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Saint Etienne, but you can't hear the song only see the video, so I won't bother with the youtube. Today's title - who was this female singer who burned fairly brightly for a while at the end of the '80s?

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

Join Our Club

2009-06-22T00:17:00.000+02:00

Are you clubbable? By which I mean are you someone who likes to be part of a club or an association? You would be in your element in Mallorca if you were. You would almost certainly be in the press as well.

Two new associations have sprung up over the past few days. The first is something called "Europeos por Europa", an apparently non-politically-aligned group dedicated to getting non-Spanish "Europeans" together to act as some form of lobby group. There are already two similar organisations. When this latest one met, there were, according to "The Bulletin", people from all over the island. Maybe so; maybe they were mates of the protagonists. This was hardly a mass movement.

What is the point of this? Well, the ultimate point of it may be that there is more of a political element than is being said; I'm told that a political party may well be the goal in the not-too-distant future. Who cares? Only those who harbour political ambition or spend their lives hopping in and out of bed with different associations. The associationist (sic) is driven by a variety of motives - political, altruistic, self-interest, genuine concern/interest, nothing better to do, self-importance, whatever. The associationist cannot be characterised by one thing alone, save for the impulse to be an associationist. There are an awful lot of people who are not. Like Groucho Marx, they do not want to belong to clubs that would accept them as members. In fact, they don't even think this. They are just not interested.

Is there a need for such a group, political or apolitical? One issue that does apparently exercise the minds of "Europeans" is the matter of residency cards. These are now no longer issued. Instead, a certificate is obtained, meaning that the passport is required as identity. It is an inconvenience, but it is hardly the important matter that it has been made out to be. Indeed anything that kicks at the identity-card culture should be welcomed.

The impetus for the change in residency documentation was not Spanish; it came from Europe, which makes this latest group seem a tad ironic. The thinking, albeit ridiculous, was that as the British do not have identity cards (yet), then they should not be discriminated against by having to have one in Spain. From this came the idea that, if not the British, then no Europeans, other than the Spanish. It makes no sense, but then there is much that makes no sense in Spain. It was a matter, though, of such importance that local politicians, when canvassing for support during the recent European elections, confessed to being unaware of it, but that they would of course be doing something about it were they to be elected.

But the Europeos por Europa association has duly been given its place in the publicity sun by the press, though it may yet sink, like so many, into the obscurity of indifference. Which brings me to the second association - one for bar owners in Calvia. It too has enjoyed the glare of press publicity. If it proves one thing, it is that the formation of an association is more likely to guarantee that glare. On Friday "The Bulletin" front-paged with a story about the problems of Calvia's bar owners - and then followed this the next day with another one. There was, I was told, to be another story, one about bar owners in Alcúdia. You might remember this being mentioned a few days ago. I wrote that story. It has not appeared.

Editorial content is entirely discretionary. Perhaps the story was not good enough. Perhaps it was too much of a familiar theme (all-inclusives). Perhaps it just wasn't what was wanted. Yet it was "probably" going to be included on Saturday. It wasn't. A bar worker (not one who had been involved with the story) said to me that he had been expecting the article, as he had seen the mention on this blog. He then added that it was typical. Calvia, Palma, yes; Alcúdia, no. Much as I have sought to defend the paper against an accusation of southern bias, I do have to wonder. Just to go back to that meeting of all those people for Europeos por Europa from across the island. Where was the article about this meeting featured? In the Calvia spotlight section. That's where. If it genuinely was something for the island, it would have stood alone. It did not. That bar worker may have a point.

Let me say that I do not feel slighted if the article does not appear. But it would be nice to know why it hasn't. Perhaps the answer lies in forming an association of bar owners in Alcúdia. Then maybe the paper would take some notice. Or maybe not.

QUIZ
Today's title - more old favourites of this blog; French name.

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

Five Go Mad In Alcúdia

2009-06-21T00:16:00.001+02:00

"Now look, one of you girls is going to have to be a boy. There are four boys in our Famous Five. And I vote that it's George."

"I agree with Julian. After all, you've always wanted to be a boy, George," said Dick.

"But if I'm a boy then what about Timmy? He's not a boy, he's a dog," said George.

"Well of course Timmy's a boy, and he is so licky, aren't you, Timmy," said Anne.

"Right. that's settled. I vote we all have a cold swim and then go to a secret bar, that we must not under any circumstances identify, for a slap-up meal with lashings of Magners, er, I mean ginger beer," suggested Julian.

"Yes, to reveal the identity of any bar would mean the destruction of our British empire and civilisation and an invasion of foreign ideologies," added Dick.

"You'll make a wonderful far-right politician one day, Dick. And first-rate idea, Julian. You boys are so clever." "Hoorah!" shouted Anne.

"And afterwards we can go back to Casa Kirrin and plan our next adventure. Finding our dear kidnapped Uncle Quentin, sorry, Johnny," added Julian.

"Yes, it's all very queer. Why would an ageing scientist be kidnapped in Alcúdia of all places?" asked Dick. "Anne, why are you looking as though you know something? You will make a splendid housewife one day, but come on, spill the beans, old stick."

"It's because ..." Anne started to sob.

"Oh don't be such a girl, Anne," said George.

"It's because Uncle Johnny revealed the secrets of the best bars of Alcúdia."

"He did WHAT!" exclaimed Julian. "Are you suggesting that Uncle Johnny frequents bars and drinks alcohol, unlike us, the Famous Five, who only deign to go to such establishments to satisfy our incredible gluttony, but who are also, secretly, the five best bar people in Alcúdia."

"Poor Uncle Johnny," said George. "But who could have kidnapped him?"

"I'll bet that it was a foreigner," suggested Julian. "I've seen rather a lot of them lately."

"I agree with Julian. A foreigner said something to me the other day. 'Hijo de tu puta madre' I think it was. It was all very queer and very foreign," Dick remarked.

"What could it have meant? But he was obviously foreign. We must call the police," recommended Julian.

"Yes, and they can round up all the foreigners and torture them using wild goats and some salt," added George. "And then we will have our dear, dear Uncle Johnny back, and he can write all those spiffing stories about what old ladies say at airports. Not any of this nasty stuff about bars, and drinking and horrid things like that."

"What a wizard idea," said Dick. "Lick the truth out of them." "Anne, are those aniseed balls you've got in your lap? Share them around, old thing. But why is Timmy being more licky than ever?"

"Yuck! That's so yucky, Anne. I'm glad I'm a boy, after all," said George.

(To be continued, or hopefully not. With due acknowledgement to Enid Blyton but more obviously The Comic Strip. "Five Go Mad In Dorset": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_TiqoEw4sQ.)

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Cher: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OR0U87mRsY.

Turn Back Time

2009-06-20T00:13:00.001+02:00

One of the nice things about this blog is that "blogotees" make contact and want to meet up. And so it was that I met Captain and Mrs. Haddock, Alan and Sheila, fishily named as it was they who told me about bringing the frozen haddock with them. I missed a trick, I should have had the camera in order to photo some of the old photos they showed me. Perhaps I'll ask if they can scan one or two and send them.

There is a tremendous interest in the history of resorts, and yet these histories are ill-served. There is also a tremendous amount of archival material - photos, postcards, whatever - as well as anecdotes that, were they to be brought together, would create something of genuine value as a record of the past. The photos of the port of Alcúdia from the early '80s show the emergence of what one knows today. From the Condes, then standing in some isolation, the view was unobstructed. There were no Carabelas, for instance. What is Alcúdiamar was there, but just as a sort of harbour pier and wall, with no buildings or road on it. The old Miramar hotel was also still there. It can be seen from the fishermen's pier, as it can be seen from the same location in those very old black-and-white postcards of photos dating from the early part of the last century. A road sign declaring Artà 33 kilometres speaks of the road that ran along the front before the Paseo Marítimo and was truncated at what is now the Dakota to one side and El Yate to the other in order to form the paseo. The old Casablanca disco; the building that looked like a small Moorish temple but was itself a club; Tony's bar by the Condes that remains to this day; Bar Bamboo from way back then.

The history. I really must do it.

The other side of the story
Amidst all the talk of the impact of all-inclusives and this season's economic difficulties, how does one quite square all that with what was said to me by a bar owner in the port? Food and drink sales up, more than just reasonably; the place so full that people are stopping, seeing it is "rammed" and moving on. To what could this be attributed? I'm disinclined to say what the answer was or to say which bar. The Famous Five fall-out favours discretion in all things bar identification and even quoting what is said. Of course, there can be a tendency to say things are better than they really are, but I happen to believe that this is not the case with this unnamed example.

The port, the Magic halfway house and The Mile are different, but the port still has its all-inclusives, it is as affected by pound weakness and recession. Is it the case that, away from the port, the effects are more profound? One might be tempted to say that the port is different in one respect, in that it is somewhere that people go to, but The Mile is not the sole preserve of those staying there; it attracts people from further afield as well. Or perhaps it is as simple as there being certain bars and restaurants which perform better than others, whatever the circumstances.

The Bellevue fire
I hadn't anticipated that there would be anything to add to what seemed a minor incident (4 June: Paris Is Calling). However ... A comment came in from someone who was staying in Minerva 1. It makes alarming reading. He says that the smoke was so thick that he and his family (with two youngsters of two and five) were barely able to breathe. "An absolute nightmare" are his words.

I had been inclined to not repeat all that was said in this comment, and I have not. But then I looked at the various sites - Trip Advisor, Travel Republic. There you have the confirmation. The alarms did not sound. Go google these sites and the comments for yourselves. They make pretty awful reading. They also go to show that the internet cannot be underestimated. Different people have gone to different sites to express what happened. I can understand that maybe the alarms get let off as a prank, but this could have been far, far worse than it was. Had it been, the news would have been far, far worse, and far, far worse in terms of bad publicity. The hotel really needs to offer an explanation. It could have had to offer something far, far more ...

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Dave Edmunds, "I Hear You Knocking": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqIQE4du6co. Today's title - if she could do so - who?

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

But You Can't Come In

2009-06-19T09:01:00.000+02:00

So, the Balearic Government, business (for which you can read mainly the hoteliers) and the unions have reached an agreement to do something about illegal holiday lets and what is described as the "principal problem" with the island's tourism model, seasonality. Good for them. Shame that they are missing the point.

There is no denying that the moribund nature of the winter season is a big problem. However, what sustains not only the island's tourism model but also the island's whole economic model is summer tourism. If that's wrong, then you can forget the rest. And, if not completely wrong, that summer tourism is far from completely right. How can it be completely right when that summer tourism model is predicated to the extent that it is on the all-inclusive?

There have been reports that high season "numbers" are going to turn out to be better than thought. So long as the season turns out to have brought reasonably good numbers of tourists, then the various bodies will be able to sit back with relief and share a congratulatory cava, and feel that the summer season is in pretty good shape; therefore, not the principal problem, even if those numbers are made up with a whopping chunk of all-inclusive places. Ostrich time.

The government has made it quite clear that it sees Mallorca's tourism as being based on quality hotel stock. Nothing wrong with that. But the size of the holiday let business is far from insignificant; in Pollensa, for instance, it comprises at least a half of tourist spaces. Not everyone wants to stay in a hotel, whatever the time of the year. A good tourism model offers a mix of accommodation to suit tastes. Which sector would most wish to see a reduction in the holiday let business? The hotel sector. It has a legitimate gripe when it points to the standards and regulations it has to adhere to and to the level of investment it makes; things not necessarily adhered to by the holiday lets. It is also legitimate to tackle undeclared rental income. However, it is the same hotel sector that is responsible, together with tour operators, for the growth of the all-inclusive and therefore the problems that face the summer tourism model and the island's economic model. The holiday lets are far from irrelevant; they should be encouraged and not discouraged. They should be embraced as a part of getting the bread and butter of summer tourism right. It is quite depressing that the worthy bodies can define a "principal problem" that serves only to disguise the true one.

No tourists admitted
Well, it rumbles on. The Famous Five. An apology and explanation has appeared in "Talk Of The North". And on it will go. It would probably have been better had nothing been said. Whatever. There was something else in the latest issue, and this concerns the tourist office on the paseo in Puerto Alcúdia. Why is it not possible for tourists to go into the kiosk? It's a question that has been asked many times before and is a not unreasonable one.

There is a reason. And that is that when it was open to anyone to come in, it got overcrowded to the extent of people walking into the area behind what would be the browsing desk (and is when it rains, as the office is open then); that area behind the desk is the staff area. Closing the kiosk's rear door comes down to a control issue. That is the reason. It may sound a bit thin, but there you go. By having tourists dealt only through the hatch, lengthy queues can and do form. Tourists are unable to browse, which many like to do. Not being able to does not necessarily help the businesses who want their publicity material picked up. There may be a solution. Go take a look at Puerto Pollensa's tourist office. The kiosk is smaller, but there are display units outside. Want to browse? Well, you can. A point about the Puerto Pollensa kiosk is, though, that the display units can be easily moved inside. This would be less easy to do in Puerto Alcúdia given the step to the rear door. There are also usually at least two staff in Puerto Pollensa, whereas Puerto Alcúdia has one. Maybe they should re-design the paseo kiosk.

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Tears For Fears, "Woman In Chains": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hDoPCiC3RQ. Today's title - not by him originally, but most obviously this comes from?

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

The Sun And The Moon

2009-06-18T09:20:00.002+02:00

I like London's China Town, not that I've been there for some years. But it used to have an atmosphere of Bohemian seediness and the smell of spice mixed with bodily deposits. My kind of place. Not that Puerto Pollensa is anything like that. Perish the thought (save doggy deposits, that is). But you can forget Agatha Christie as the promotional motif. Come to Puerto Pollensa, where the Mediterranean meets the Orient. Puerto Alcúdia and Playa de Muro may, combined, have roughly the equivalent of a World Cup squad of Chinese restaurants but they are diluted over a fair land mass. The Puerto Pollensa Chinese land grab is far more concentrated.

I had been inclined to think that it was some sort of wackiness, a Puerto Pollensa-goes-East Grinstead in L. Ron Hubbard terms, but no, Serenity Coast turns out to be, you guessed it, a Chinky. One of the international variety, whatever that is. Just a chopstick's throw from the other one, the wording above the restaurant is like that you might find on a CD of music to do massage by. Sun and moon, and wind, and promise, and some other stuff. When it opened, there was a bit of a Chinese do, which was fair enough, but I'm damned if I can make head or tail of a Chinese dragon in terms of what it's all meant to convey. Serenity Coast, not a bad name though, if, that is, you're talking an Ibiza chill-out album perhaps.

Still on all-inclusives
Much as I have wanted to avoid the gloom, it is, I'm afraid, unavoidable. Another bar owner had a word. Again, it was not recession but the all-inclusive. When owners say things are bad, you are not inclined to disagree with them. The rough economic climate has exacerbated the underlying market change that the all-inclusive has caused.

I have been known to defend all-inclusives, if only in the pursuit of balance and objectivity. There have been some outlandish examples of blame being placed at the doors of the AI. When it was once suggested that a restaurant away from the centre of the old town of Pollensa was suffering because of AIs, that was stretching the bounds of credulity.

The AI has been an easy target for blame, and the mindset now is to seek to lay ever more blame. There is little point in dissecting the economic and market situation, either that at a macro level of recession or that at a micro level, of which the AI forms a major part in Alcúdia or wherever. No-one is inclined to listen.

Yesterday, I referred to a "breaking point". That was in terms of businesses going down. There is another breaking point - people's attitudes and actions. When there is talk of protests and of mass closures of bars, shops, etc. as a demonstration of what things might look like if there is no intervention (with AIs), one has the growing sense of a breaking point, and it is only the middle of June. Perhaps the high season will mark an improvement, one can but hope so. If not ...

The sadness is that this was all too easy to have predicted. The economic shocks of the past twelve months may have been less easy to have forecast, but an economic downturn was inevitable, at some point. The fact is that there has been a decline over the past three to four years, a decline that the AI is only partly responsible for, and despite a so-called record year in 2007. Nevertheless, it did not require such severe shocks and resultant downturn to have exposed the folly of a local tourism economic model disrupted by such a fundamental market change as the all-inclusive.

When bar owners seek to air their grievances through the press, what alternatives do they have? Some might argue that, well, that's business, chum, and if things aren't working out, then better you go and do something else. That would be callous and heartless. Perhaps there was a fear that to deny the tour operators and hotels and therefore the tourist their places in an all-inclusive sun would have meant the abandonment of Mallorca and its resorts. Maybe so. But one hears and sees, and one wonders if it might not have been some tough love had the AI been strangled at birth, because the monster that is now stalking the resorts seems only to be growing in its strength and drawing the life out of all around it. Breaking point?

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - It Bites: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xslQTkZ0cxI. Today's title - "the wind and the rain"; and this is from?

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

Calling All The Heroes

2009-06-17T08:06:00.002+02:00

Following on from yesterday, the meeting did duly take place. You will note that yesterday's reference has now been anonymised; that's how they wanted it.

As suggested, the thrust of what the bar owners had to say was indeed about the all-inclusive. Why now, you might ask. The current economic problems have put the all-inclusive offer into even sharper relief. I've said it here before that it is hardly surprising that tourists will opt for the security of knowing what they've paid for that comes with an all-inclusive, even if what they get turns out to be rubbish. Recession has not stopped the paying out for AI as a higher upfront cost, but the theory (and the practice) is that the total holiday budget is reduced - and quite substantially so in some instances.

Recession and pound weakness are temporary. They are not seen as the villains of the piece by the Alcúdia bar owners; the AI is, and not just the AI but also those AI "offers" and "inducements". One does wonder quite how many hotels do not have some form of AI now, especially now. Whereas the tour operators may have been the instigators of AI, the hotels have felt the need to go further down that route as a means of securing their businesses - at a cost to others.

There are some positive sounds as to the number of tourists who are going to be coming in high season; positive sounds from the tourist chiefs. But how many of them are going to be on an AI basis? How much spend will they have? The bar owners would like at least a reduction in the number of AIs, but were there to be, or to have been this season, would those numbers due to come be as high? It's hard to say. Mallorca, Alcúdia, have had to compete not only with other holiday destinations, they have had to compete with other holiday destinations offering AI. To effect a reduction or even an elimination of AI would require some sort of cross-national agreement. It's not going to happen, though one does wonder whatever happened to that European directive that was meant to have ensured certain levels of service and quality which would, in all likelihood, have put an end to many hotels offering AI.

There is frustration. It's what caused the call and the desire to get something into "The Bulletin" and to call upon bar owners in other resorts to express their discontent. It seems so little. The frustration stems from the system, the system that seems immune to the impact on businesses, that seems not to appreciate that the AI does little for individual resorts, the system that creates one rule for some, and one rule for others. It's a frustration that makes people not want to reveal their identities, because of that system. But they're calling out to heroes elsewhere to voice their concerns and to kick at that system.

We've been here before, and doubtless we will be here again. But for how much longer? Is a "breaking point" close, or has it been reached? Will many bars really go to the wall at the end of the season? If they do, the authorities will offer their sympathy and blame the global recession. And they would be only partially correct.

An article has been submitted to "The Bulletin". It should appear on Thursday.

QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Grace Jones: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SM3HO6cLF44. Today's title - a mosquito, a dog, it ... ?

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