Memorandum d'Michelle

Goodbye to my Chimes

2009-05-17T00:12:00.000-07:00

Nothing will ever compare to the memories working on The Chimes. No group will get me quite the way The Chimes did. Work will never be as fun as it is on The Chimes; our product may never bring as much satisfaction as does The Chimes right now.

To all others, I guess it must just be a student paper. To us, it's people and laughter and belonging. It's mission and motivation and purpose. It's going to send a lot more people into the journalism industry than it can contain, but they'll be great journalists; I know it.

How did I get so lucky as to be part of this inspiring and embracing group? God put me here, that's for sure. I hate to say goodbye and move on, as the memories stay frozen in time and newsprint. But what a sweet ending tonight was. It was a warm and high note I know I'll treasure forever.

[The insider blog: here]

Nate the Christian Windshield Repairman

2009-04-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

If you read my post on Chris the Christian plumber, you're well aware of my dad's insistence on hiring Christians for just about any household repair project.

Fortunately, when we realized that the glaring gash in my windshield was not just a visual impediment (sometimes, the sun glints off the crack, producing a blinding prism-like effect), but an invitation for a fix-it ticket, my dad acquiesced and decided to replace the glass.

To our eternal delight, we were able to find a replacement in a mobile windshield repair service -- and there was a Jesus fish in the Yellow Pages ad.

And so today we had not only the acute privilege of getting a new windshield for just $179, but also the joy of meeting Nate the Christian Windshield Repairman. What, you ask, is the difference between a Christian windshield repairman and a non-Christian? Why, the Third Day CD blaring from the work truck. The bumper sticker saying Twin Cities Church. And the joy my dad gets from talking church with him.

Which leads me to a similar conclusion as the plumbing post -- I'd never let an atheist touch this windshield.

"Does God Exist?" Debate at Biola

2009-04-11T10:38:00.000-07:00

After reading Melissa's post about the William Lane Craig-Christopher Hitchens debate at Biola last weekend, I thought I'd throw in my two cents.

Hitchens says he wants to be an atheist because he loves freedom. As someone who has traveled the world reporting on injustices and oppression committed in the name of religion, he has the right to come to that conclusion. Nothing is more repulsive than the misogyny, the slavery, the brainwashing and war advanced by religious groups -- except the fact they're claiming to do it in God's name. Hitchens, thank you for hating that, because I know God hates that too.

The problem is that a life of atheism is not a life of freedom -- it's just a new kind of oppression. You are no longer bound by the shackles of "religious ignorance," but you are left with a void, a life of no eternal significance, a short-sighted purpose. At the end of the day, there is no redemption for the sinner; there is no vindication for the victim. Life is wretched and cruel, and we're all alone in our despair.

Freedom in Christ is redemption. It's the assurance that even the pain and agony of our short lives is being woven into a tapestry of grand proportions. We don't see the sense in it now; but in the grand scheme of God's redemptive plan, it has been worked out for the good of those who love him. We see just the threads of that tapestry; God is doing work beyond our lifetime to restore his fallen creation, and some day the senseless will make sense.

Hitchens would call this wishful thinking, but I'm thankful William Lane Craig offered compelling evidence why our faith is reasonable, why this narrative of audacious hope is reasonable.

In the end, we as humans don't understand freedom. We think of freedom in small and fallen ways, like the women's liberation and free love movement, like the hedonism of college life. We find that our best stabs at freedom -- our best attempts to shrug off the "captivity" of the Christian life -- merely shutter us in our own personal prisons and cut us off from the meaning of the big picture. It's a lonely and shriveled existence, and we can't understand how in the world we got there.

My prayer is that the "Does God Exist?" debate puts a pebble in the shoes of Hitchens and the other atheists and religionists who have experienced false freedom, false enlightenment. I hope their quest will lead them straight to a cross and an empty tomb.

My 22nd Birthday

2009-04-09T00:10:00.000-07:00

It was a splendid 22nd birthday for me -- and everyone seemed to be right on track by sending their birthday greetings in Spanish!

The house had a Mexican fiesta, and with the help of some of the more culinarily gifted members, we put together homemade carne asada tacos, spicy rice and cheesy beans.

For one of the rarest moments, we all gathered together and ate dinner at our table -- all ten of us. No boys, no guests. Just the ten of us laughing and talking together. It was such a beautiful time. Often, we get caught up entertaining the guests that frequent the house, making them feel comfortable and making them dinner or coffee. It's wonderful, but it's good to be able to talk face to face with the incredible women who compose the Decadox. In our hustle and bustle of hospitality, we can take each other for granted.

In light of my coming-of-age, I want to write a resolution for my 22nd year:
> Though I may be young and healthy, I want to remember those who aren't. I want to learn their history, value their wisdom, and engage with their world. In this country, we are so obsessed with youth and beauty that we scorn the contributions of our elders. I want to honor that this year. I want to honor the people and the places from which I came, because I am not a self-made woman, and so much that I am is owed to those who have gone before me.

So that is all.

An argument for women in Biola's AS presidency

2009-03-29T14:52:00.000-07:00

Edmund Burke once said, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” Let me reframe that for today: “All that is necessary for the triumph of mediocrity of AS is that good women do nothing.”

This year’s ballot selection was disappointing, not because the candidates were bad, but because so many of Biola’s incredible, intelligent, ambitious, competent female leaders were absent. In fact, it hasn’t been since the 1994 that a woman has taken the AS presidency. That’s a 15-year drought of executive female leadership.

But it’s not just a recent drought. Records aren’t complete, but since 1926, the year AS was founded, only three women appear in the annals of executive leadership: Ruth Farquharson in 1928, Carol Hulgus in 1986, and Jennifer Cowen in 1994. By comparison, 62 percent of the undergraduate student body is female. It’s safe to say that the people representing the interests and concerns of the student body are not representative of the student body.

Why is that? Why is it that women currently constitute ¾ of the executive leadership team in AS? That they’ve been presidents of SMU, directors of ministries, presidents of clubs, editors of The Chimes, The Point and The Biolan, and yet haven’t taken such a weighty role as the AS presidency?

There are a number of reasons for this “glass ceiling” in AS. First, women haven’t seen a role model in recent history. If they have never seen a woman take on this responsibility and successfully execute it, the image of what it means to be “presidential” persists – you must be an attractive, white male with senatorial experience. Voters tend to choose someone who “looks presidential,” and it will take a non-traditional candidate to re-draw that image in the minds of students.

Second, some women self-eliminate when they buy into wrongheaded biblical interpretation that women should leave significant leadership roles to men. Even if you are against women in the pastorate, AS is certainly not the church and such antiquated, culturally-enforced stereotypes only serve to debilitate and deprive such an organization.

The last thing this school needs is to elect a candidate simply because she is a woman – that would be patronizing. What we do need, however, is to nurture women who show leadership gifts and encourage them to run for this position next year.

Here’s to all the freshman women out there: Start by praying about this. Has God gifted you with administrative ability, people skills and a love for Biola? Then why isn’t AS on your radar? Some of the most talented women on campus aren’t in this post right now because they never had the dream from the outset and never prepared themselves for the role.

Second, prepare yourself. Seek out positions within AS as soon as possible, whether that be a seat in the senate or a hired service chair position. Work hard at it. And don’t get discouraged if you don’t make it the first time around. Also, take on roles of executive leadership that require you to be the primary decision maker and exercise creativity. Leading a mission trip or a club is a good place to start.

The glass ceiling needs to shatter, not because men are bad leaders and women need to prove themselves. It needs to shatter because the ceiling might be holding back the competent, humble, visionary woman AS needs to take it to new heights.
After all, nobody wins win good women do nothing.

Reconciliation

2009-02-27T16:37:00.000-08:00

Tonight I'll be going to SCORR -- Student Congress on Racial Reconciliation, which is held annually at Biola. I've gone in past years and had different reactions every time. The archives of this blog are proof.

SCORR, especially tonight's Worship Mosaic, is a pinnacle of beautiful worship. You see people from different countries, wearing brilliant colors and foreign costumes, dancing and singing and praising God in other languages. One of the themes in years past was "On Earth as it is in Heaven," hinting at how diverse and joyful heaven will be once things like race are not liabilities, but appreciated expressions of God's beneficent plan.

But something so extravagant must have a counterpoint. SCORR is also pretty gritty, pretty depressing, pretty much a downer at times. People are angry and accusatory when they talk about the way they feel because of their skin color. Some people say whites (or "the dominant culture") doesn't and will never understand the minority culture.

I feel helpless, accused, and backed into a corner.

I look at state universities, pluralistic places where women walk around in hijabs and the student body is a potpourri of skin tones, religions and ethnicities. Why does the race issue seem so much more explosive among the most global institution in the world -- the church? Are these secular institutions that much more advanced that they are "post-race"? They're past these problems? I guess it's possible.

Or maybe it's that they've never reconciled with other races -- never engaged enough to conflict -- because they've never been challenged by such provocative mandates as "Go ye therefore and teach all nations," or loving the Samaritans.

Nothing as beautiful as reconciliation ever came easy and cleanly. Does a man who cheats on his wife reclaim his marriage by just standing by? Did Germany and the Allies get over their differences in a night? Did fallen man and a perfect God reunite painlessly?

No. And I know if we seek something like reconciliation, it will come at a cost. My only worry is that we won't have the stamina to get there.

Chimes Resolutions

2009-02-15T17:57:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to update on the previous post -- since I've been a blogging delinquent as of late due to my broken-down computer.

God really came through for The Chimes. We were in a panic about advertising people and sports people and graphic designers, but one by one, the right people showed up. I think the team really is stronger and more cohesive than ever, and it shows.

Another great thing is our new apprentices. I wanted the transition from this year's staff to next year's staff to be fluid, and for all the wisdom and experience we've developed this year to pass on to next year's staff. I'm starting to see the fruit of that plan in the form of a half-dozen enthusiastic apprentices who have been helping staff members and taking on their own projects.

Thanks for your prayers. There are ups and downs while being the editor, and I know it's only by God's grace that it works the way it's supposed to.

Dropping Like Flies

2009-01-22T11:05:00.000-08:00

The past few days have been pretty hard for me, so I'm blogging to ask for your prayers. I'm trying to get the new semester going for The Chimes, but people are dropping like flies. People who were working for us in hourly, paid positions have resigned, and it's pretty discouraging.

There had been problems in the past -- the people who dropped were overcommitted from the beginning, and a Chimes job wasn't going to be good for either party. But now I'm left with the job of training a new crop of people, and there are still big holes in our staffing.

Just pray that people will take these empty jobs -- pray that the RIGHT people will take them and we'll emerge stronger than ever. I'm looking forward to what God has on the other side of this tunnel.

Skype in the Jungle

2009-01-16T15:04:00.000-08:00

For the first time since he left the country two weeks ago, I got to talk to my older brother via Skype. He's serving for two years as a missionary in the South American country of Suriname, and for some reason he's got a really great internet connection in the jungle. Go figure!

Several times in the past few weeks, I've worried myself awake in the early mornings, wondering if he was okay in a place full of piranhas, malaria and perhaps Amazonian hostility. I just prayed that God would strengthen him and guard him from danger.

From our hour-long chat, I learned his 100-mile boat ride bore an uncanny resemblance to Disneyland's jungle cruise, he encountered a real viper and came out just fine, and he's being chewed out by his partners for chewing with his mouth open (it's a vice I've been trying to rid him of for years).

It was great to talk with him and compare our cross-cultural experiences. He told me he feels like he's exactly in the middle of God's will for his life right now, and I'm thrilled about what's ahead.

To check out his experiences, see his blog at http://ryansrindels@blogspot.com He promised some pics and video would be up tonight -- let's see if it happens!

The Making of the Book Episode 5

2009-01-16T02:06:00.000-08:00

Today was another great day on the job. Partners Kelli, Madyson and I went out for a nice lunch with former KidWorks intern and director David Benavides, who is currently a Santa Ana city councilman. He chose a great Japanese restaurant in Costa Mesa that was affordable, too -- unfortunately, I'm incompetent with a set of chopsticks, and as I quizically poked at the meat, Madyson had to discreetly snatch me a fork.

But the interview itself was enlightening and inspiring. I've never really sat down with a local politician, much less one who is as dedicated as Benavides is. He lives in the middle of the same community he interned in -- the one where he witnessed a guy shot and killed outside his window the first night he lived there. His dream is to see the community rise up and fight for a better city together.

I learned something about local politics today. At its core, it's here to help. It's there to take citizen concerns and their organized efforts and bolster them with governmental resources. We can't expect public officials to be mind readers. We've got to work hard and clamor for their attention. After those efforts, they owe it to us to listen and try to support our efforts.

If all council members were like Benavides -- principled, hard-working and in tune with the needs of "the least of these," the slimy reputation of many politicians would shed away. We need more well-intentioned, committed Christians like that in posts of leadership.

I'm excited about writing David's story. People like this make for a story worth telling. Now for the word-for-word transcribing thing ... ugh ...

The Making of the Book Episode 4

2009-01-14T15:24:00.000-08:00

What better way to procrastinate on making the book than to blog about the making of the book? Yessss ...

Yesterday, the crew and I went to Santa Ana again for two interviews (I'm logging WAY too many miles, but wow, my navigation skills are getting much better). They were probably my most-anticipated interviews, since they were the hard-to-get, in-home interviews with families. They also happened to be entirely in Spanish.

While I feel much more comfortable speaking Spanish than I did before studying in Costa Rica, it's still difficult. Don't be fooled by the whole Spanish major thing. I was lucky enough to have my partner Karla with me, and she happens to be a native speaker.

The interviews were incredible -- I was pleasantly surprised how forthcoming these families were about their struggles. It was poignant and beautiful when one mom started crying -- she was that proud of her two girls, who had been admitted into private school and were now receiving more college admissions letters in the mailbox than she knew what to do with.

Fortunately, I understood virtually everything during the interview. Unfortunately, I had to concentrate so hard on understanding everything that my other journalistic skills went out the window. There's a lot a journalist has to do while they're interviewing: transcribe it as close to verbatim as possible, reformulate questions so they make sense in the context of the interview, interpret the other person's signals and adjust, synthesize their stories with your previous knowledge, etc. When the monkey wrench of Spanish comes into the picture, it's a lot tougher to think on your feet.

Now, it's time to transcribe the Spanish word-for-word and then write up the story (fortunately for my brain, the book's in English).

Ayayay, it's great practice for my future career in foreign correspondence, but in the words of my Costa Rican host mom, cuesta mucho! (it's a pain :)

Five roadblocks to democracy

2009-01-14T12:24:00.000-08:00

See my previous post (Five signs of hope for democracy) for five things I see as advancing the accessibility of education and other resources. This post focuses on things that need to be perfected to make our telecommunications and consumer habits more efficient.

1. Wi-fi. The current technology is constraining and prohibitive. I can really only use my laptop within the confines of my house or at a coffee shop. We will see great advances when things like mobile network cards are standard and affordable, empowering us access to the internet on mountains, while riding in a car, etc.

2. Cell phone towers. Again, the current technology is limiting. I'm looking forward to the day when satellite technology is widespread so the entire state of Wyoming is no longer out of range for most cell carriers.

3. Poor mass transit infrastructure. DC's Metro system is so efficient and well-planned that rich politicians, carless interns and the working poor all have freedom of movement. If only L.A. had such a practical system, we'd be less enslaved to our cars, and opportunities would be more widely available to the poor, who are disproportionately affected by a lack of mobility.

4. Search engines. The internet's glut of junk and often-inefficient way of searching that glut holds it back as a research resource. I'm looking forward to the day when credible sources and databases are more easily accessible; when things are tagged and linked and catalogued so the gems of the internet are easier to find and the "cream rises to the top."

5. Lack of consignment shops. In San Jose, Costa Rica alone (a city of maybe 350,000 people), there are over 300 consignment and thrift stores, most selling brand name American apparel bought at rock-bottom prices from the States. Here, there's Savers, and that's practically it. While Craigslist and eBay are helping this problem, I still think we need more physical exchanges of clothes. We need a perpetual garage sale so all those prom dresses don't sit in the closet for years while some girls can't afford them. Garage sales are okay, but most people don't put on a garage sale until their old clothes are REALLY OLD -- like five or ten years old and out of style. Maybe we need a change in mentality, or maybe we just need to figure out a more viable business model for consignment.

Five signs that make me hopeful for democracy

2009-01-13T11:23:00.000-08:00

Democracy isn't just about ensuring everyone has a right to vote -- it's about ensuring voices have a way to be heard, citizens have a way to learn, and money isn't an insurmountable obstacle in the pursuit of happiness. (My definition of democracy = widespread accessibility, freedom of distribution, among other things.)

Five recent developments that give me hope for democracy are as follows:

1. The community college system. As I watched my older brother get his AA a few years ago, I realized how lucky I am to live in a country that provides at least basic higher education to "level the playing field." At least there are no excuses for people with the drive and the motivation not to educate themselves.

2. Self-publishing. Even if it's turning publishing on its head, maybe that's a good thing. For so many years, we've been limited to whatever the big publishing moguls want to see. We've been subject to their prices, their system: if a book isn't going to sell 100,000 copies, it isn't worth being read. Now, with companies that can print single copies of books at affordable prices, niche publishing can thrive and writers can craft freely for the love of the art.

3. Blogging. I love newspapers, but as a forum for new thoughts and reader interaction, they can be expensive and clumsy. Ideas are fair game for publication, whether or not they'll draw a readership of 100,000. And we're no longer at the mercy of our city's single editorial writer.

4. YouTube. Once again, art and culture are only a computer away. YouTube has helped us wriggle from the constraints of cable television providers and big Hollywood studios. Granted, there is a lot of muck on it, but as a venue for education, it can be invaluable.

5. Online book selling. While I can see its potential detriment to a writer's livelihood, it's terribly democratic in making rare books available and expensive books affordable. It's also a great antidote to our wasteful, consumerist culture that stockpiles or throws away books and tends to limit literacy to the elite.

Stay tuned for tomorrow: Five roadblocks to democracy.

The Making of the Book Episode 3

2009-01-08T21:56:00.000-08:00

Today we visited the actual KidWorks site. Besides the fact that I'm directionally inept and got us tragically lost on the return trip from Santa Ana, the experience was powerful. We conducted back-to-back, divide-and-conquer interviews with half a dozen administrators of the programs, and the stories they were telling us about life change were the kinds of things you make movies (or write books) about.

It worries me, though, how these already "under-resourced" neighborhoods are going fall victim in this tough economy. I just read in the New York Times how unemployment is the lowest it's been in 16 years. When things drop so dramatically, L.A.'s poorer Latino neighborhoods feel it even harder. The kinds of jobs many have -- landscaping, house cleaning, etc. -- are the kind of luxuries a boss could lop off the budget at any moment. And once these families enter survival mode, the "fluff" -- like their kids' education -- is what gets short shrift in time and money.

The CEO of KidWorks said something striking during our interview yesterday: "Our biggest fear is the recession. If some of our donors decide to drop off, we'll be closing shop by summer."

And to think that a lot of this recession is due to big fat cats at the top of credit card and lending companies who decided to pad their pockets with the money of families who really didn't know any better! When the bubble burst, those CEOs got dethroned, and maybe a few months in white-collar prison. But down the food chain, scores of families are losing jobs and losing their way of life. Beautiful efforts to help these families -- like KidWorks -- are fearful for the future.

I hope justice will be done in this situation.

The Making of the Book Episode 2

2009-01-06T22:14:00.000-08:00

I didn't get to choose the subject of the book we're writing for class, but if I did, chances are good I would have chosen something like KidWorks.

KidWorks is a flourishing after-school mentoring and tutoring program planted in the barrio of Santa Ana. It was founded to give hope to kids whose only role models were in gang wars and didn't even consider graduating high school.

Today, I interviewed Larry, who started KidWorks in 1993. Larry, who is of Mexican descent, said he grew up trying to fit in with American culture as much as possible. His parents tried to speak only English to him so he would assimilate better; to speak Spanish and identify as a Mexican would be to cut himself off from opportunities.

Larry overachieved -- he didn't just become the first person in his family to attend college; he actually got a PhD.! But ironically, God called him back to those Latino roots that he had shied away from for years. He and his wife started a humble Bible study called KidWorks in a heavily-Hispanic neighborhood and the rest is, well, history.

Hearing Larry's story was inspiring. He has a heart for ministering to urban communities, and even cooler, a heart for encouraging and reviving the people doing urban ministry.

I'm looking forward to finding out more about this project he started, and how God can work so acutely through delicate things like a person's cultural identity.

The Making of the Book Episode 1

2009-01-05T23:48:00.000-08:00

Dr. Longinow asked that I keep track of how my interterm class project is going. For a moment, I considered starting a new blog dedicated to the project, but I reconsidered upon the grim realization that Blogger will probably kick me off if I start an eighth blog. Here are my daily reflections as I co-write what will soon be a published book.

The project itself is pretty ambitious -- in just three weeks, a group of 5 Biola journalism girls and one photographer will write an entire book. It will be published with the help of a Biola trustee who has experience with a new technology called publishing on-demand, in which a book can be printed in small quantities (like, two copies if you want that) and quickly (like, one day if you want that).

I guess I'm not totally new to this whole being-an-author deal. I contributed a few chapters to a coffee table book about Biola's 100-year history and ended up with my name in the credits of a gorgeous, slick piece that people actually paid for. But the editing that went into that was extensive; the deadlines crawled on for months.

This time, the heat is on. We make this book in 21 days or it flops and everybody's embarrassed for our underachievement. I want this book to be something people WANT to read. I want to tell the story with the eloquence it deserves.

Let the games begin.

The Day My Dad Got a Facebook

2009-01-02T07:36:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning, I helped my dad set up a Facebook.

This morning, he asked me how to delete it.

Dad got on the boat a little later than most of his friends -- pretty much all his fellow pastors and youth ministers have been on it for months. It was only recently that he felt like he was missing out on all the wonders of the digital age, and literally put it on my to-do list to set up his account.

All was well and good -- I set dad up and we added some contacts from his e-mail list. I added some pictures of him and the family in an album called "The Best of 2008." I even listed his favorite books (The Purpose Driven Life) and movies (Facing the Giants, The Passion of the Christ). Within minutes, he'd reconnected with an old youth pastor and some folks he hadn't spoken to in over a year.

Just as my dad was learning the wonders of tagging photos and how to work the "wall," my mom entered the picture -- seething mad. Over the past 24 hours, she's railed about the following:

1. Facebook's not secure -- now your business is going to be all over the internet!

2. What are you trying to do? Be in junior high again?

3. Why did you put that ugly picture of me on there?!

4. You stayed up till midnight checking your Facebook! (he corrected her; it was only 11:45.

5. Who are all these women writing "Happy New Year" on your wall?!

My brothers and I suspect she really just wants her own profile, but in the mean time, the technology gap that leaves my mom in the dark about Facebook is also putting my dad in the doghouse.

So if you happened to add him as a friend, don't be surprised if he suddenly disappears off the face of the cyber earth tomorrow. At least for now, parents -- especially mine -- and Facebook don't mix.

My First iPod: A Compromise of Principle?

2008-12-29T14:06:00.000-08:00

To say I'm not a "Mac person" wouldn't be truthful. In fact, my dad bought one of the original "Apple IIe" computers in 1984 -- a $2,500 beast that saved data on giant floppy disks, only displayed in green pixels, and drew admiring gasps even from my parents' "yuppie" friends.

Then, my grandpa passed a MacIntosh along to me. I perched the ponderous one-piece device on my desk. I was nine years old at the time, and the primitive version of "Paint" and the rudimentary day-planner software were the cat's meow -- even if the self-contained screen was no bigger than the monitor on an ATM machine.

But the winds of change blew -- and sometime just before iPod fever started catching on, I turned my fancy to PCs. Accordingly, I refused to get an iPod and instead purchased a Sansa MP3 player. It wasn't as sleek, but there were a number of clear advantages:

Powered by a single triple-A battery, I don't have to bother with an iPod charger that costs an arm and a leg if you lose it.

It has an FM radio -- something conspicuously absent with the iPod.

Everyone and their mom didn't own it, unlike the iPod.

But a few days ago, I became the unsuspecting owner of an iPod Shuffle when a friend who is planning on moving overseas gave it away. It's cute, made even cuter since my brother Matt named it Shuffy. Nevertheless, I'm still a bit skeptical. In my opinion, iTunes is kinda ugly -- about as aesthetic as an Excel spreadsheet, and I want Windows Media Player back.

I also feel like I'm compromising. Are Shuffy and I giving in to the torrent of iPod conformity? Am I being sucked into the Steve Jobs marketing vortex and limiting myself to astronomically priced iPod-compatible accessories? What has become of my principles!

Nevertheless, Shuffy and I are getting along swimmingly, and I am very grateful for the gift. Let's see if it converts me back to those Mac roots.

The He Man Woman Haters Club

2008-12-26T10:47:00.000-08:00

One definite downside to being home: My brothers tend to get together and form vitriolic little girl-bashing meetings I like to call the He Man Woman Haters Club.

HMWHC tends to form spontaneously and unofficially, especially during Nintendo / PS2 sessions or vigorous physical exercise. These conversations lead to sweeping generalizations about women, such as:

- Girls are always accusing guys of flirting with them
- Girls get so jealous of their friends when they a guy gives them attention
- Girls are overly sensitive about their weight
- Girls just like attention and they'll go for any guy who gives it to them
and my personal un-favorite,
- It's always better to just hang out with guys. Girls mess everything up.

Maybe I'm just taking it too personally, but I hate being put in a box. It's stifling to be labeled as petty, catty, frivolous, gossipy or desperate. Once those stereotypes are out there, everything a woman does will be interpreted through those lenses. I hate those occasions -- albeit rare occasions -- when my brothers throw it in my face that I do something because I'm a woman. "You're being manipulative. Girls are always manipulators," the might say, and it hurts, because the person who can "name the game" suddenly has all the power.

I think sexist stereotypes are especially hurtful to women because our battle is still raging. We've had the right to vote for less than a century. We face silent scorn and subtle disrespect in the workplace, in spite of the most diplomatic HR efforts. And in developing countries, women are still second-class citizens humiliated and abused on a daily basis.

At the same time, I readily admit women purport wrong-headed stereotypes of men, too. One of my least favorites is the "Biola guy" stereotype, in which resentful women accuse their Biola brothers of never asking girls out, being spineless, or "not being men." I know there are guys out there like that, but I'd strongly disagree that such a blanket statement reflects the generous, warm, courageous men of character I've encountered. Sure, we all make mistakes, especially in the complicated realm of dating relationships. But one thing's certain -- I'd much rather be with a Biola guy than one who's only gutsy and bold because he's absolutely full of himself. If there is any generalization here, it's that Biola guys are generally raising the bar.

All this to say typecasting is hurtful and I don't want to be accused of it. It's a way of holding an entire group of people at an arm's length and looking at them in the abstract, not as complex, unique individuals with hearts and souls and feelings. While prudence calls for some generalizations (i.e. a person needs to have a solid group of friends of the same sex), a Christian should make these decisions out of love and respect for the opposite sex, never out of resentment or an attitude of belittling.

Let's burn the membership cards for the He Man Woman Haters Club. And while we're at it, let's burn the ones for the She Woman Man Haters Club, too.

A Very Practical Christmas

2008-12-25T23:28:00.000-08:00

Once again, my mom had a fabulously pragmatic Christmas. Most women want diamonds or pearls. My mom wants a terrycloth bath mat, dish towels and a spatula set. Gotta love a girl that's easy to please!

Top 10 Things About Being Home

2008-12-24T10:39:00.000-08:00

10. Mom considers it her patriotic duty to do -- or at least help with -- your laundry.

9. The floors are all squeaky clean. The dishwasher is hardly ever full; the kitchen is hardly ever dirty.

8. A white Christmas is actually a viable possibility.

7. I'm getting really good at driving fast around curves.

6. If you get in an argument with the people around you, it's not a deal-breaking, friendship-crushing faux pas and the whole thing will be resolved in 5-10 minutes.

5. The Christmas tree is nine feet tall.

4. Groceries are all on the house.

3. I can watch Man vs. Wild, Garfield's Christmas, 24 and Recess, all in a day's time. And the TV is not dwarf-sized.

2. Home cooking. Real home cooking.

1. This is the only place I'll ever feel like I totally and completely belong.

Christmas Shopping

2008-12-24T00:37:00.000-08:00

There is nothing better than finding the perfect gift for somebody. I've found, after years of hating gift-giving, that the secret is to think of the gift beforehand and then buy it. When you wander around the mall aimlessly, searching for something that might fit for the person, you end up doubting yourself and choosing something generic so you don't leave empty-handed.

Today, however, I envisioned and listed all the gifts I wanted for my family members. To be perfectly honest, much of the "envisioning process" happened during the sermon on Sunday morning, but nevertheless, it was fruitful.

Because I'm just THAT excited about giving my family presents this year, and because the chances of them (or anyone, really) reading this blog between now and Christmas Day are practically nil, I'll divulge what I got them and why.

1. For dad: He drives about 15 minutes to work every day but rarely gets time to sit down and read a book. He loves the subject of management/leadership. I found "First Things First," a classic about prioritizing in your life, on CD. I'm hoping it will give him some good ideas during those idle minutes in the car.

2. For mom: She loves her long hair, but refuses to splurge on much more than Suave generic products and a SuperCut every six months. So I got her the "real stuff" -- the Biolage color care collection -- so she'll have the shampoo, conditioner and silkening spray she'd never buy for herself.

3. For Matt: He introduced me to "Rock Band" for PS2, which I love (especially the drums!). But he's mastered most of the songs. So I bought him the Track Pack -- 20 additional songs to add to his Rock Band collection. This will give him, and me, more jamming/bonding opportunities.

4. For Ryan: He's been tearing through my collection of Torrey classics and is currently devouring Soren Kierkegaard's Fear and Trembling. So I bought him two classics -- my favorite book of all time, A Tale of Two Cities, and Alexis de Tocqueville's Democracy in America, which is an outsider's survey of what makes this country different from Europe. It should provide him lots of good material for those dull moments during his two-year mission trip to South America.

5. For grandma & grandpa: They love seeing digital photos but haven't the slightest clue on how to use a computer. So I'm hoping to get them a digital picture frame so they can watch slideshows of family pictures when they're hanging out at the house. My current problem: all these suckers are sold out! I don't know what I expected after procrastinating until the 23rd to do my shopping ...

All said and done, Christmas gift-giving can be a true joy ... even for a girl like me who happens to hate shopping.

2 Timothy 1:7

2008-12-15T00:46:00.000-08:00

God you called me to be humble
But you never had in mind
That I be feeble and be fearful
And defeated all the time.
While you brought me to rock bottom
It was just to bring me up
To heights so lofty and exalted
I could shout about your love
And all would hear my praising voice
As I stood proud of you and tall
And through this little girl, exalted,
Blessings liberally would fall.
Lord, your will have I perverted
When I stare upon my shoes
And shuffle round about, discouraged --
Such a life you’d never choose!
What a disgrace is my depression
What a waste is my self-hate
What an ill-spent opportunity
To manifest your grace.
You want me humble and submissive
But a servant not a slave
For a servant is a steward
While the other’s bound in chains.
Help me be throughout my life
The kind of person who believes
That while unworthy, she’s empowered
And God’s gifts she can receive
With grateful heart, inspired hands
And all the courage to perform
The miracles, the parted seas,
You know, minutiae of the Lord.
For timidity you gave not
To the heirs who bear your name
But spirits powerful, self disciplined,
And zealous for your fame.

My New House

2008-12-06T15:55:00.000-08:00

Over Thanksgiving I got to see my beautiful new house. Here are some shots of my new forest abode.

The Letterpress

2008-11-08T15:03:00.000-08:00

The words are bland, conspicuous and cold
A steely view of someone´s stoic soul
That wanted not the very thing it had.
Contemptuous and miserable and sad
They lie and say the timing isn´t right
But really they´re beleaguered with the blight
That tears away the sinews from the soul
And tricks them to believing they are whole
With nothing but the solitary self
That feeds them with an evanescent wealth.
Little do they know that when it dried,
That wellspring of the self-reliant life,
It vaporized the supple spirit too,
And shriveled now, it deigns to carnal rule.
Inked on paper now to kingdom come
Are epithets of lacerated love
The meter is mellifluous but stained
By meaning, like the verses, wholly blank
Don´t write me if ingenuine you be
False love and letters strange bedfellows seem
Just shutter all the pathways to the heart
Your words, and soul, die nobler in the dark.