Horror Drive-In

2009-07-16T13:34:00.001-07:00

This is my favorite comedy in recent years. I held off for a long time after hating many so-called comedy films, but after seeing what Judd Apatow was doing with things like Freaks and Geeks, I took a chance.

And I loved it. So many modern comedies seem like I'm supposed to be laughing at mentally retarded people. Like Napoleon Dynamite. Or I'm supposed to enjoy watching some fucking assholes and get enjoyment out of it. The 40-Year-Old Virgin is genuinely funny, plus it has heart and characters that I like and would enjoy hanging out with.

I like the whole gang: The slick player, the hard-around-the-edge sarcastic party monster, the eternally bitter heartbroken guy and of course the genuinely decent man who never developed the confidence to effectively talk to women.

It's a long movie, especially in the uncut form, but I never want it to end. It's like a long party and I love the way the virgin learns about life and living from his new friends. And also how they learn critical things from him in return.

This is one of the few comedies where I agree with most people. Everyone seems to like it. Bring it up and most will say something like, "I love the hair waxing scene, haha, har har, ho ho". And it [i] is[/i] funny. But I get tired of that scene. I more enjoy the parts where the guys are hanging out, shooting the shit and getting to know one another.

I like Knocked Up too, but not as much. I didn't much care for Knocked Up when I first saw it, but I've come to appreciate the whole Apatow crowd. And the couple in Knocked Up aren't exactly likable in the beginning. They too learn and grow from each other and become fuller, better people.

I had The 40-Year-Old Virgin on the other night. Not really watching it, but more of a background movie while I did stuff around the house. I stopped and sat through some of my favorite scenes though, which are plentiful.

I really, REALLY, can't wait for Funny People. I tell some friends and people I work with that and they act surprised. I hate Adam Sandler! But it's not who acts in a movie, but who wrote it. I've become a huge Judd Apatow fan, despite some of the terrible movies he produces. He knows what the masses like in a comedy and if those other movies I hate help finance thoughtful ones like The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up, I don't begrudge them.

Happy Birthday, Robert A. Heinlein

2009-07-07T15:05:00.000-07:00

If he were still alive, he'd be 102. Robert Anson Heinlein was born on July 7th, 1907. It seems like he should be 102, doesn't it? It would be apt for Heinlein to live as long as Lazarus Long.

Heinlein was my first favorite writer. After moving up from things like Doc Savage books, I discovered Heinlein's books for young people, starting with Have Space Suit, Will Travel. I still adore that book with all my heart. I love them all, but my favorites are it and Farmer in the Sky, Starman Jones, Time for the Stars and Space Cadet.

As I matured I moved on to Heinlein's more mature books. Stranger in a Strange Land was heady stuff for my preteen sensibilities, but I loved it. Time Enough For Love was my favorite of the later books.

And then there were his early books like The Puppet Masters and The Door Into Summer. Both of these are so beautifully written.

The short stories! Who can forget such masterpieces as The Man Who Sold The Moon, Requiem, The Long Watch, "It's Great To Be Back!", Logic of Empire, Misfit and so many others?

I haven't kept up with modern science fiction, but I don't care how good the writers are. None will ever top RAH in my mind. His writing was so personal, so intimate. It felt like I knew him personally and that he was a mentor to me. More than a mentor, a father figure. I learned so much from Heinlein's work. Things that have helped me survive and to maintain what decency I have.

His books, his legacy, shall remain with me always. And I'm gratified that new generations continue to discover him and his work continues to instigate controversy.

By the way, Heinlein's books have had countless printings, but the cover images I've used here are the ones from the editions I originally read. Just seeing them makes me feel like a starstruck kid again. His powerful imagination, his wisdom, his wit and his vision will remain inspirational to me until the day I join him.

Starred Review: Vanilla Ride: A Hap and Leonard Novel by Joe R. Lansdale

2009-07-01T13:03:00.000-07:00

The Dedication to Vanilla Ride reads as such:

For all you Hap and Leonard fans. Bless your little weird hearts.

Who you calling weird, Lansdale?

If that's true, there's a lot of weird people out there. The Hap and Leonard books are among the most universally loved pieces of fiction I've ever known about. I've turned a lot of people on to them and every one has loved them. Every single individual. Even those that either don't read or barely read. They love Hap and Leonard.

I got on board early and I bought Savage Season immediately upon its publication. I was already a huge fan and had been since the first book I read by Joe, which was The Drive-In. I was later blown away by other Lansdale works like The Magic Wagon, Act of Love, Dead in the West and especially Cold in July. But Savage Season was special. Its lead characters captured my heart and it became an instant favorite.

Luckily for Joe's readers, Savage Season was not the last time we would see Hap Collins and Leonard Pine. They returned in Mucho Mojo and again in The Two-Bear Mambo. Over the course of eleven years six Hap and Leonard novels were published. The ones I named as well as Bad Chili, Rumble Tumble and Captains Outrageous. And they also made an appearance or two in short stories.

Then there was a hiatus in which there were no novels coming out about the baddest pair of Texas ne'er do wells since Augustus McCrea and Woodrow Call. Captains Outrageous was released in 2001 and the fans had to wait a long eight years before Hap and Leonard resurfaced. Which they just have, in a new novel called Vanilla Ride.

A new novel and a new publisher. Now Joe is putting out books with the prestigious Alfred A. Knopf Publishing House and it's a suitable home for his awesome skills.

The first question interested parties are likely to ask is, was Vanilla Ride the wait? My answer is, what do you think? Vanilla Ride is everything that Hap and Leonard fans love about the series. It's funny as hell, there's breathtaking action, there's mood and careful attention to the details of the locations in the book. And as always with Lansdale, the characters rise above the simple stereotypes that might at first seem obvious.

The best things is that there is as much introspection and, dare I say it, philosophy in Vanilla Ride as there is violence and bawdy humor. Which is to say there is a great deal of it. The first person narration is always by Hap Collins, who constantly questions his own motives and impulses while his wisecracking exterior masks his inner turmoil.

This one is as tough and hard as any and Hap and Leonard face their deadliest (and sexiest) opponent yet in the enigmatic and beguiling Vanilla Ride.

Joe R. Lansdale has made a habit of bringing past characters back into his stories, much to the delight of his readers. Longtime Lansdale fans will be overjoyed to learn that Jim Bob Luke makes an extended appearance. And this reader holds out hope that we'll get to see Vanilla Ride again.

Hap and Leonard are officially back and it's up to the readers to help ensure that the series will continue. Publishing is a business like any other. If the books make money, more will probably come. Skip the library and don't wait for the paperback with this one. I don't want to wait eight more years for another ripping Hap and Leonard adventure.

A Little Love For The Mummy

2009-06-11T14:51:00.000-07:00

The poor Mummy. He's the red-headed-stepchild of the Universal Monsters. Dracula is sexier and more exotic. Frankenstein is also a reanimated body, but it's more gruesome how he was assembled from various body parts. Plus there's his striking appearance. The Wolf Man is steeped in European legend and he has that feral magnetism. The Invisible Man does those cool tricks, plus he could be standing right next to you and you wouldn't even know it. And the Creature/Gill Man is so damned cool-looking and he gets to chase beautiful women in bikinis to boot.

The Mummy is slow. He looks like a refugee from a rummage sale. He's not really based on legend or any classic literary source. Even though he was almost definitely inspired by Stoker's The Jewel of Seven Stars with a little bit of Arthur Conan Doyle's Lot Number 249 on the side.

But the most heinous indignity upon The Mummy is undoubtedly those ridiculous movies with Brendan Fraser. Those things only serve to fatten corrupt Hollywood swine and cheapen the memory of old Im Ho-Tep. The Mummy is like Rodney Dangerfield. Neither of them get any respect.

Except from me and other dinosaurs that love the old movies.

I always loved The Mummy. Simply because he is slow doesn't make him any less creepy. I remember as a kid, watching him drag that one leg. I remember shuddering like it was yesterday. I loved the Egyptian setting of the movie and how The Mummy is at least inspired by historical fact.

Despite how cool and awesome The Mummy is, he never got the motion picture deals that the others did. And I'm purposefully forgetting those recent abominations. The Mummy, made in 1932, did inspire several sequels. The Mummy's Hand, The Mummy's Tomb, The Mummy's Ghost and The Mummy's Curse all followed it, as did the obligatory Abbott and Costello farce. But The Mummy never got the superstardom that Dracula, The Wolf Man and Frankenstein enjoyed, with sequels, quasi-remakes and knock-offs continuing for decades to follow the classic monster years.

The Mummy did make cinematic appearances later. Hammer Studios did The Mummy in 1959, but it was one of their lesser Universal remakes. They attempted to make the monster scarier by making him faster, but it had the opposite effect on me. The same studio did a few unrelated and uninspired sequels, which do not rank among their better efforts.

Charlton Heston went up against a Mummy in 1980's The Awakening, but it induced more yawns than chills. The Mummy made an appearance in the much-beloved The Monster Squad, but he had a small part and was dispatched quickly. He was played for outrage and humor in Joe R. Lansdale's Bubba H0-Tep, which is probably the best Mummy movie since the very first one back in 1932.

Of course there have been numerous low budget Mummy movies over the years and few are worth mention.

And I'd be remiss if I didn't mention those wild Aztec Mummy movies with Ramón Ga, but they are a genre unto themselves.

The Mummy hasn't had the greatest history in literature either. In fact I'm having a difficult time coming up with any, with the exception of Anne Rice's book, which makes the Stephen Sommers movies look good. A Mummy appeared in Randall Boyll's amazing Mongster, but that was mainly for ghoulish laughs. Charles L. Grant did write a lovely homage to The Mummy called The Long Night of the Grave. But there are few others.

In fact, I'd like to see one of today's horror fictions stars give us a big, fat monster of a Mummy novel. Maybe since Edward Lee is taking a stab at classic monsters, he will give it a try. I bet Brian Keene could deal out a whopper of one too. Or Ronald Kelly.

I'm sure I'm forgetting some great books, probably by my favorite authors. Movies too. If you can think of any, drop by the forum and let me know.

In the meantime, lets raise our glasses in toast to one of the greatest monsters in Horror. The Mummy.

Drag Yourself To Hell

2009-05-24T05:26:00.000-07:00

You come to this site because you're a horror fan, right? Maybe there are a few people here for reasons of curiosity, but Horror Drive-In is obviously a horror website. Maybe we lean a bit more toward fiction than film, but I love both of them. And I believe that the majority of the visitors here are the same.

I bet you love the Evil Dead movies? I know that I do. Even though I was initially disappointed in Army of Darkness, I've come to enjoy it. How often have we wished, prayed, that Raimi would return to his horror roots? I have. I know the man has seen unprecedented success with his Spider Man franchise, but I got sick of those movies very quickly. Like right after the first one.

I've already heard so-called horror fans criticizing Drag Me To Hell. With all the righteous indignation of ignorance. "It looks like more of the same thing", is a common one.

I'll admit that Drag Me To Hell doesn't appear to be a blazingly original story. But as we all should know, trailers can be misleading as hell. The movie looks to be an old fashioned, EC-type horror yarn. And what, exactly, is wrong with that? Personally, I don't require all horror movies to be like Martyrs. Ones that shock me and profoundly change the way I look at the genre. We need movies like that. But sometimes I simply like a good, fun time at the movies.

Another big complaint is that Drag Me To Hell doesn't have a hard R rating. Again, so what? What's wrong with a movie that kids can get into? Remember when you were young and you went to a scary movie that had less than an R rating and you had the time of your life? Drag Me To Hell could be that movie for thousands and thousands of burgeoning fans. The horror viewers, readers, of tomorrow. Hopefully this movie will reach the ones that are too hip for Twilight, yet are looking for a good scare.

They say that if you don't vote, you have no right to bitch about the way things are in politics and society. The same thing applies here. If you call yourself a horror fan and don't see Drag Me To Hell, don't gripe to me about how Hollywood movies suck. If we don't get out and speak with our dollars, we deserve all the remakes that are shoved down our throats.

Maybe Drag Me To Hell will suck. No one can say for sure until they actually see it. And please don't be a lemming and believe the negative hype that will almost surely be flying. Do you have a mind of your own? Do you always agree with the masses? I most assuredly do not.

You call yourself a horror fan. Prove it. Get out on opening weekend and see Drag Me To Hell. A matinee won't cost you that much. This is Sam Raimi's return to horror, for God's sake! Let's do our parts and make this movie a success.

Sick of Zombies Yet?

2009-05-10T14:19:00.000-07:00

I am. I have been for quite some time. They won't stay dead, in other words. I hate it when a once-cool subgenre becomes a glut. Remember vampires? Evil children? Indian burial grounds? Serial killers?

All of those were a lot of fun until a huge success or two got imitators running to follow up. And now it seems as if vampires are biting their way back into the forefront, no thanks whatsoever to Stephanie Meyer and her legion of teenage devotees.

I was in Borders today, looking over the Horror Section. I saw, along with the big names, a lot of vampire stuff, a ton of mostly small press zombie books. One had the striking title, Jailbait Zombie. I even saw a zombie pop-up book.

Brian Keene and the phenomenal success of The Rising is partially to blame, but you know what? He could write zombie novel after zombie novel and I have no doubt that the books would sell. Probably better than his other books do. But he at least continues to try to grow and challenge himself by trying new things.

The genre expands and then, not unlike the hoards of cannibalistic walking dead, eats itself. We all know that a drought follows a glut.

Please writers, give the zombies a break. For your readers' sake and also for the sake of your own careers. In the long run, I don't think you really want to be pigeonholed as a "Zombie Author".

1989

2009-04-25T05:12:00.000-07:00

I take tours through my past with the movies I watched. Books too, and music, but there's something about movies that make me extra nostalgic. Maybe it's the communal nature of watching them.

1989 was the end of the 80's. The end of innocence. Not to the world in whole; that has never been innocent. My innocence. Though I came up in the 70's, I feel a greater affinity to the 1980's.

It was the last gasp of the home video hysteria. Fewer were having movie parties. In the mid 80's, it seemed like everyone was having them. The VHS revolution had still been fresh. In time it was apparent who the faddists were and who were the genuine lovers of cinema.

Researching this, I see that I was becoming more selective in my viewing. I wasn't renting as many crappy direct-to-video productions with catchy titles. I was weaning off of a lot of studio fare as well. Looking over this list, I'm almost shocked to see that to date I have never watched some sequels of movies I loved, like Fletch and Ghostbusters. I couldn't gather any enthusiasm over them.

Not to say I didn't watch my share of turkey's as this will prove. Still, for various reasons I liked everything I put here. Even while I cringe at the memory of things like Martians Go Home, Star Trek 5 and C.H.U.D. 2: Bud the C.H.U.D. As bad as these movies are, I had a good time roasting them with friends in joyous pre-MST3K abandon.

Horror wasn't exactly healthy. This was the end of the Decade of Fear and few really good movies were released. The old standbys franchises were in need of serious overhauls: Friday the 13th 8: Jason Takes Manhattan, Halloween 5 and Nightmare On Elm Street 5 are arguably the worst of their respective series'. Craven tried to score another Freddy with Shocker, to the dismay of almost everyone. But Pet Semetery was a good adaptation of King's novel and was a financial success. Scott Speigel's Intruder and Cutting Class came in a little too late to cash in on the slasher wave. The cerebral Exorcist 3 was an amazing movie, but it failed to please those that wanted more flying pea soup. J.R. Bookwalter and Tony Elwood's Killer anticipated the underground movie frenzy that would come just a few years later.

Though I loved many movies of 1980, it was a weaker year than any other of the 80's. Moviegoers were in need of a change, which would come about shortly. But I have some true favorites, with Great Balls of Fire, Scenes From the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills, Santa Sangre and Crimes and Misdemeanors at the top of my list.

Everything changed in the 90's and I'll be back to chronicle them. Just don't expect it too soon. It's a lot of work to compile these lists and while I tried to be as complete as possible, I'm certain that I overlooked certain gems.

Without further ado...

The Abyss
A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child
After Midnight
Aisles of Doom
Assault of the Party Nerds
Back Street Jane
Back to the Future 2
Batman
Baxter
Beverly Hills Vamp
Beyond the Door III
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure*
Black Rain
Black Rainbow
Blaze*
Blind Fury
Bloodfist
Blue Steel
Born on the Fourth of July
Breaking In
Brothers in Arms
The 'burbs*
C.H.U.D. II - Bud the Chud
Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death
Casualties of War
Cat Chaser
Chances Are
Chattahoochee
Christmas Vacation
Communion
Crimes and Misdemeanors*
Cutting Class
Cyborg
Dead Bang
Dead Calm
The Dead Next Door
Dead Poets Society
DeepStar Six
Disorganized Crime
Dream a Little Dream
Drugstore Cowboy
Edge of Sanity
The Exorcist III
Field of Dreams
Gnaw: Food of the Gods 2
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
Great Balls of Fire!*
Gross Anatomy
Halloween 5
Headhunter
Heavy Petting
Hell High
Hollywood Boulevard II*
The Horror Show
I, Madman
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Intruder
Johnny Handsome
Kickboxer
Killer
Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects
Last Exit to Brooklyn*
Leningrad Cowboys Go America*
Lisa
Lock Up
Martians Go Home
Masque of the Red Death
Meet the Feebles
Mystery Train
New York Stories
No Such Thing As Gravity
Out of the Dark
Parenthood
Parents
Penn & Teller Get Killed*
Pet Sematary
The Phantom of the Opera
Psycho Cop
The Punisher
Puppetmaster
Red Scorpion
Relentless
The Return of Swamp Thing
Road House
Rude Awakening
Santa Sangre*
Savage Beach
Say Anything... *
Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills*
Sea of Love
Shocker
Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland
Society
Sonny Boy*
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
Stepfather II
Stripped to Kill II: Live Girls
The Terror Within
Think Big
True Believer
Twister
UHF*
The Unbelievable Truth*
Uncle Buck
Vice Academy
Warlock

Starlog Magazine Ceases Publication

2009-04-14T14:52:00.000-07:00

You might have already heard that the venerable science fiction media magazine, Starlog, has shut down its print magazine. The word is that this is a temporary situation and I hope that is true. Even though I've never purchased a copy of it, or for that matter, I've never held a copy of Starlog in my hands.

It makes me sad though, because the name, Starlog, brings me great nostalgia. The Starlog Group was and is the publisher of Fangoria, a magazine I've always loved.

Not so much now though. I guess I'm getting to be an old bastard, but the horror movie world no longer seems like home to me. Oh, I still adore scary movies, but for the most part I watch the older ones. The new fans and community seem alien to me. But that's for another column.

It's always sad when something as old as Starlog dies. The magazine began publishing in 1976. Created by periodical visionaries Kerry O'Quinn and Norman Jacobs, the premier issue featured Star Trek on its cover. It successfully ran for over three decades.

Starlog will continue as an online publication, but we all know that's not the same thing. E-Books, online magazines, etc be damned. There's nothing like holding the genuine article in your hands.

And you don't have to remind me that I publish fiction electronically here at Horror Drive-In. I know it's a half-assed way to do it. But for the time being at least, it's the only way I can get certain stories and authors out to the world.

As I previously noted, I've never been a Starlog reader, but the same thing could happen to any genre magazine. Fangoria, Rue Morgue, Video Watchdog, Shock Cinema, Videoscope and yes, even Cemetery Dance. Look back to demised treasures like The Twilight Zone Magazine, Cinefantastique, Film Threat Video Guide, Psychotronic. The cool little horror fiction magazine out there are struggling or dying.

There's only one way to prevent this: Subscribe. Subscribers are the lifeblood of magazines. Advertisers are critical, yes, but without subscribers there are no advertisers.

Don't let print magazines die in this plasticized, homogenized planet. We don't want to be stuck with Premier or Entertainment Weakly and their clones. Or getting all of our needs from the unhealthy light of these computers.

The Best Father Ever

2009-04-10T12:53:00.000-07:00

India has been here with me for Spring Break all week. It's been a bittersweet occasion for me. It's always wonderful to see her, but I haven't really seen her much at all.

I was looking forward to having company on the trip back from NC to VA last Sunday, but she slept the entire time. We got here and she immediately wanted to go spend the night with her best friend. I hated it, but I'm not such an old fossil that I don't know how important friends are to teenagers.

I desperately wished I could have taken off more this week, but I have no vacation time and I need my full week's pay. Plus I'm working long days. I'm out the door at 5:30 AM and I'm not home until after 5 PM. So India ended up spending the nights with her friend from Sunday to Wednesday night.

I wanted her home, but if I insisted I would lose my 'Cool Dad' status. And we are cool parents. Tanya and I have taken the kids to rock shows and horror conventions. We like cool music and movies and things and we turn the kids on to wild stuff that they aren't likely to find anywhere else. India says her friends are jealous.

But I have off Fridays and I was stoked about last night. We were going to hit our favorite drive-in restaurant for cheeseburgers and fries and I wanted to take a long walk with her. That's one thing she and I always have done together.

I picked her up at around 4:30 yesterday afternoon and took her to the house, where she promptly went to sleep and she slept until 7:00 this morning. Obviously she and her friend weren't doing a lot of sleeping.

But today we'd walk and get breakfast and do some shopping! Walking was out however. Both India and I are allergic to pollen and the season is on us. We did have breakfast and went to some stores. I bought India a couple of books and a CD.

We came here and she wanted to go back to her friend's house. I know that I looked disappointed and India hugged me, but still wanted to go. I allowed her. Before she left she said I was the best father ever. I smiled and asked what made me so good (I was feeling sorry for myself). She said, For all the love, for the humor, for always being there, for providing and perhaps most of all, for teaching her to love books. India adores reading and most of her friends don't. She feels sorry for them.

I'm so happy that I've been able to pass on the legacy of reading to my kids. Europa loves to read too. I'm grateful that I've been able to pass on the wonder, the passion, the marvels of the printed word.

I'm lonely for India and I wish we were spending more time together, but you have to let teenagers be teenagers. Their friends are so important to them. It hurts, but it's natural.

Tomorrow I'll be driving India back to Raleigh and there's no doubt in my mind that she'll sleep during the entire trip. All I can do is sadly chuckle.

Note: I assume that everyone here is familiar with my situation and that's almost certainly wrong. For the curious, India is my stepdaughter. I met her mother at DragonCon '99 and we were married the following year. We had a tragic separation in early November 2008 and they moved to another state. We're now working toward a reconciliation.

April: An Outstanding Month for Leisure Horror

2009-03-27T07:55:00.000-07:00

I'm glad that Leisure is using a lot of newer talent with its horror line, but I'm even more grateful that they continue to bring us the living legends of the genre. And April's releases are Bestial, by Ray Garton and The Golem, by Edward Lee.

Ray has been publishing in the genre for just about as long as I've been reading it. Like many of his older fans, I first discovered Ray with his landmark vampire novel, Live Girls. I went back and found darklings and Seductions, both of which are excellent.

There are some horror writers that have achieved greater fame than Ray Garton, but I'll hold up the consistent level of quality in his work with the very best of them. Ray's fiction can be traditional or radical or anywhere in between. Ravenous, which is the werewolf novel that preceded Bestial, was a more traditional tale from Ray. It reminded me of a good 80's horror novel. Which is never a bad thing.

I started reading Edward Lee somewhat late in the game. The first one I bought was Creekers, but I was instantly a fan after reading it. Ray's unique brand of high-octane sex and violence-drenched fiction is without peer. Many have tried to ape his style, but few or none have his solid storytelling chops. And it would be a mistake to simply call Lee a grossout writer. He tells a walloping story every time he writes a novel or short piece of fiction. The man is a pro at the writing game.

Two legends of the genre, both available at affordable prices. Don't miss them.

The Importance of Music

2009-03-18T14:18:00.000-07:00

McCammon talks about it in Boy's Life. How music helps to keep the magic of youth alive. How important it is to listen to new, young music. I try to adhere to that.

So many adults I know seem to have lost the passion for music that they once had. Maybe a lot of them never really had any passion in the first place. And I find that to be very sad.

I know so many people that live with their television sets on constantly. Never listening to music at home. Or if they do it's just generic radio or perhaps the music they loved when they were teens. That's fine. I still adore my teenage favorites: Todd Rundgren, Frank Zappa and The Tubes are probably the most predominant of them.

Times change and music evolves. Or, as the corporations continue to ruin any true creativity in the industry, it devolves. But it's a mistake to think that all new music is terrible. Even if your local 'modern rock' station may make you feel that way.

My tastes mutated as the years went on. I tried a lot of things and while I might have disliked a lot of it, I found miracles of melody too.

And many songs or albums take me back to great times of my life. I remember riding around with my best friends, listening to the Tubes obsessively. Discussing the meaning of the songs with the kind of intense passion that only geeky teens that are desperate to get laid and have a little buzz can do. I listen to White Punks on Dope or Talk To Ya Later (to name a couple of the more popular Tubes songs) and I think of hot, listless nights. in the late 70's and early 80's.

Recently my wife and I separated, but we later had a reconciliation. When I was visiting her and rebuilding the love, I bought a CD of David Byrne and Brian Eno's Everything That Will Happen Will Happen today. Not a great album by any means, but I played it this morning and the happiness that I felt when I was first hearing it came back in a rush. I know that this album will always have a deep resonance with me.

Or like hearing Oingo Boingo constantly as I drank furiously after working so much overtime in my new career as a machinist. Those songs by the band will always bring back that vital time when I was changing myself.

The list goes on and I will always try to keep it fresh. I think the heart demands music and part of us dies when we stop feeding it.

I'll always love my old favorites, but I keep trying new things. A recent obsession of mine is a young band called Miniature Tigers. They are supposedly an 'alternative' band, but whatever that label once might have meant is meaningless now. To me, Miniature Tigers is a pop band, but not like the miserable excuses for pop that make the top 40. The Tigers do smart, melodic songs that may not be great or brilliant, but damn if they aren't infectious. I've been listening to them so much for the last month. And these songs off of their TELL IT TO THE VOLCANO album will always make me think of these insane but wonderful times in my life.

In the past year or so I've enjoyed newer groups like Arcade Fire, My Morning Jacket, The Shins, Golgol Bordello and even that lovable little goofball, Bo Burnham.

You can fight your body's inevitable aging by exercising and maintaining a sensible diet. And you can keep your heart young with music.

I Buy Books

2009-03-01T15:22:00.001-08:00

I buy books. It's what I do. It's what I've always done. I do not intend to stop until the bitter end.

As far back as I could remember, I loved books. It began with Golden Books when I was a toddler. I was in love with them. I went on to Dr. Seuss and other children's literature and comic books. From there I moved on to science fiction and pulp reprints and media tie-ins.

You'll hear me bemoan my financial situation and I still buy books. I get behind on my bills and I buy books. When I was a kid, in middle school, I would starve myself and skip lunch when I had the will power. Two days of sacrifice and I could afford a Doc Savage paperback, or maybe a science fiction book. My mother would have been pissed had she known, but as far as I was concerned it was none of her business. As a parent I vowed that if my kids wanted to read, I would always provide them with books. Thankfully they do love it. I think it helped that I have taken them to conventions and signings where they've met authors.

I've cut back on the expensive limited editions. I do consider myself a collector, but I'm a reader first and foremost. But I did buy two Ronald Kelly books from Cemetery Dance recently. As usual, CD had a special offer with them that made them much more affordable than the average limited.

I've slowed down on all my book purchases, in fact. It's not like the early days of Shocklines when so many in the community seemed to have some sort of feverish dementia about purchasing small press editions.

I still buy on a weekly basis though. This week I bought the Leisure paperback of Richard Laymon's Dark Mountain and the Delirium trade paperback of New Dark Voices 2.

You've heard the cliche where someone impulse shops to help their depression? It's a little like that for me. Very little gives me as much joy as going out to a bookstore and making a purchase.

I know that the economy is in rough shape and that a lot of people are hurting. But if we love the genre. Worship at the alter of the printed word, as I like to call it, we've got to show our support at the source. That means buying the books. If a writer you like has a new publication out, it really helps to make that purchase within the first week that it's out. And the small press publishers really need our support the most. We all have our favorites and in order for them to survive and continue to bring us these lovely books, we need to at least occasionally patronize them.

The Day Rock and Roll Died

2009-02-11T14:33:00.000-08:00

Calling all you cornfed dames
Lux means bucks, remember the name!
Go put on something real loud
Let's get up and go get plowed!

Lux Interior passed away almost one week ago. I'm still numb from the shocking news. We've lost a lot of greats in recent memory. Heck, it never stops. Death never lets his scythe rest for very long. The most recent loss was Forrest J. Ackerman. That was painful, but we all knew for a few years now that it was only a matter of time. He lasted longer than many of us thought he would.

But the news of Lux Interior, the lead singer for the venerable band, The Cramps, was shocking and completely unexpected. I took it like a kick in my gut and I still can't quite grasp it.

There's nothing on the radio when you're dead
There's nothing at the movie show when you're dead
There's nowhere else for you to go when you're dead
So do the dead; the surfin' dead

I began listening to The Cramps in the early 1990's. I bought a copy of Stay Sick in the bargain section of a music store and I went home and listened to it. I thought it was pretty funny, but largely I was less than overwhelmed. But I kept going back to that album and it began to grow on me. More and more I listened to The Cramps and I increasingly became convinced that they were the greatest rock and roll band of all time.

Rock and Roll. Has there ever been a term more misinterpreted than that? So much has been called Rock and Roll, from that generic Neil Sedaka crap to corporate controlled modern rock of today. There's very little genuine rock and roll out there. Rest assured, The Cramps were the real deal. Raw, unbridled, unfettered, untamed and more than a little bit scary.

The Cramps sang about the vital elements of trash culture. Sex, cars, sex, monsters, sex, drugs and still more sex. Their music throbbed with sexuality, as did their entire stage presence. For what is rock and roll but the beat to screw to? Trust me, you haven't experienced rock and roll until you've beheld Lux doing his deranged version of Surfin' Bird.

Another misrepresentation of The Cramps is that they were a punk band. Yes, they were there alongside the original punk bands in CBGB and Max's Kansas City in NYC in the 1970's and it's natural to lump them with that scene, but the roots of The Cramps were always in rock and roll and yes, even country. Hillbilly music. Greaser ballads.

The Cramps were and are the perfect drive-in band. Their music is filled with references to classic (and not-so-classic) horror and exploitation movies.

Imitators of The Cramps have come and gone, by the hundreds. Some are good and others aren't so good. People often try to tell me that I will definitely love this or that group, because they sound like The Cramps. In nearly all these cases I am acutely disappointed. I'm not so much a rockabilly fan as a fanatic of the music of The Cramps.

Most fans of The Cramps think that the band's early music is their best and that they started to go bad with A Date With Elvis. Once again I am in the minority in that I always thought that the first album kinda sucked. It had cool attitude and some rocking beats, but I hated that untalented Bryan Gregory guy on guitar. I think that they really came into their own with A Date With Elvis and that all of their albums after it are fucking brilliant.

And the best thing about Lux Interior is, he never gave an inch. No compromise whatsoever from his warped, perverted rock and roll vision. The band had numerous legal battles with record companies and for periods of time they couldn't even record music, but they eventually gained all the copyrights for their music and had their own label. If anything, the band got weirder and more outlandish as time went on. You only have to look at the cover of their final album, Fiends of Dope Island, to see that.

It's been almost a week since I heard the shocking news that Lux Interior had died. Part of me died when I heard it. Discovering The Cramps was such a liberating thing for me. The music quite literally changed my life and everything about it.

A lot of people are mourning the loss of Lux and that's cool. But I wonder how many have kept up with The Cramps over the years. How many actually bought Fiends of Dope Island. If you're reading this and you did, Elvis Bless You.

Since I heard the tragic news, I've had nothing but The Cramps in my player at home. I have no desire to hear anything else. I have no CD player in my car and on a road trip last weekend, I was trying to listen to the radio and everything I heard sounded so lame. So lacking in guts and passion. So weak and uninspired. The music of The Cramps is a celebration of life and its glorious excesses. And though they sound nothing like anything from Motown, I consider them a soul group. For the music is so genuine and so honest.

You may have known him as The Goo-Goo Muck. Maybe Thee Most Exulted Potentate of Love. Or possibly as Elvis Fucking Christ. Maybe as The Creature From The Black Leather Lagoon or an It Thing Hard On. Lux Interior had many guises and he was brilliant in them all. But now he's gone and music will never recover. As a friend of mine said, "Rock and Roll really is dead now".

I hope you aren't resting in peace, Lux. I hope you're raising hell and the happy face fucks around you are pissing their pants. Even the Devil would get dizzy trying to keep up with you.

Now let's raise a glass or whatever your pleasure may be and salute the man and the band. And we'll mourn the passing of one of the last true rock and rollers.

Lets get fucked up - The Cramps

Oh and finally, my heart goes out to Poison Ivy Rorschach. It's pure hell to lose a life partner, especially when one was as relatively young as Lux was. Hey, if any of you have been interested in checking out The Cramps or filling in the holes in your collection, or perhaps replacing those old worn out vinyl and cassettes, now would be a good time. I'm sure that she could use the support. Death, as we all know, is not only painful, but expensive.

Announcing Horror Drive-In Original Fiction

2009-02-02T15:24:00.000-08:00

I know that I said I'd never do it, but I hereby announce that Horror Drive-In will soon be publishing original fiction on the website. The reasons for this are varied. One, there is a lot of talent out there and there are relatively few places to sell or read short horror fiction. Two, it's getting more difficult to avoid electronic fiction all the time. Three, I think it will be good for the site and I think that readers will enjoy what we have in mind so far.

In case anyone is wondering, as this seems to be an important issue for certain people in the genre, Horror Drive-In will be paying professional rates for its stories. Making sure that the authors are properly compensated is our number one concern.

Also, to the writers out there, we will be on an invitation-only basis, for at least the time being. We simply don't have the time to go through piles of manuscripts.

Horror Drive-In plans to feature fiction from some of the best writers in the genre. Solid, reliable talent, from names that every serious fan will be familiar with. This is a labor of passion for us and we wish to work with writers that we have loved for years. Not that we'll be against newer talent, but the focus will be on established writers.

I'm proud to announce that Andrew Monge, known on the message boards as among736, will be the Horror Drive-In Fiction Editor. Andy is a longtime fan of the genre and he has impeccable taste in fiction. He's also one of the coolest people I know, either in or out of the community.

For at least the time being, we are going to be featuring short works. I guess the term is Flash Fiction. We're aware that many readers aren't comfortable reading on a computer, or off of printed out pages. The works will be easily read in a few minutes. Perhaps in time we'll start to go with longer pieces of fiction. This is depending upon the degree of popularity that this proposed series will see.

The first story will appear approximately one week from today. Our debut author will be...

You'll have to stay tuned to find that out.

Crazy Love

2009-01-17T10:38:00.001-08:00

We here at Horror Drive-In are always recommending books, movies to you. And I like to think we're genuinely honest in our praise. Some of the genre books are breathtaking works of fiction. Some are less than that, but are fun and enjoyable. Once in a while a book will come along that is more than good, or excellent. It's seldom, maybe a handful of occasions in a lifetime, a novel will be more than a good book. More than an excellent piece of literature. Sometimes, rarely, a book can be a spiritual experience.

David Lozell Martin is a hell of a writer that has had his hands in many types of books. Thrillers, literary, comic and epic adventure. But one novel stands above them all and it is back in print in an affordable trade paperback. It's called, of course, Crazy Love.

If you think Crazy Love might be a romantic story, you'd be right. If you let that scare you off, you'd be a fool. It's like the snobs that won't read horror and thereby miss out on Peter Straub or John Farris. Or the people that don't like SF and miss out on Norman Spinrad or Theodore Sturgeon.

Crazy Love is the story of an unlikely romance. Two people that couldn't be less compatible, at least by outward appearances. But they discover love for each other. But it's more than just that. Crazy Love deals with the land, with the love we all should have for animals, and how fragile even the strongest relationships can be. As well as how fragile our lives are.

I can't express how beautiful and profound this book is. I can't compare it with any other. Maybe if I say that the only other book that even came close to moving me is McCammon's Boy's Life. Maybe that will convince you.

There are, thankfully, several books by the remarkable David Lozell Martin currently in print and I recommend them all. His astonishing memoirs, Losing Everything. The bawdy and hard-hitting Pelikan. The wise and passionate The Crying Heart Tattoo. The sweeping epic, Our American King. But it is Crazy Love that I give the very highest recommendation that I will ever give a book.

Buy it. Buy it and read it. Or re-read it. Read it, cherish it and then give it to a loved one.

Torture Porn

2009-01-11T14:06:00.000-08:00

The term, Torture Porn, is one that is mostly used by those that are not fans of the genre. Or at least they aren't fans of the kind of up-close violence that movies like the Saw films, Hostel, Wolf Creek, Captivity and certain others are infamous for. Savvy fans of the genre decry the title, saying that it isn't descriptive of the the attraction at all. Because no one is actually sexually aroused by these movies. Are they?

I don't know. I would be surprised, in this day and age, if there weren't a few unfortunate individuals that do get erotic kicks out of scenes of torture in movies.

It makes me wonder how far it will all go.

Don't worry, I'm not going to go all Roger Ebert or Harlan Ellison on you and claim that these movies signify the end of human culture. Not quite.

The last film I sat down and watched was called Eden Lake. It's one of the Dimension Extreme titles and the movie has graphic depictions of violence and sadism that could turn almost anyone's stomach. Yet Eden Lake is a very well made movie. I think it made some pretty valid statements about the effect certain parents and society have on children. It's mean-spirited, ugly and deeply unsettling. For those that care for this sort of thing, I recommend it.

Where did it all start? Audiences were shocked at the brutality in the torture scene in Reservoir Dogs, but most of them hadn't seen Bloodsucking Freaks. Or even Last House on the Left. Not to mention harrowing Italian films like House on the Edge of the Park or those cannibal movies that seem so real.

Horror fiction fans had read The Girl Next Door long before this current trend surfaced.

When I was a young man, the older generation derided us for watching trash like the Friday the 13th and Halloween movies. Them and all of their offspring. That was a big part of the fun. These movies pissed off the older generation. I laughed my head off at Siskel and Ebert's show denouncing slasher movies. While I still liked the guys, I felt that they were out of touch. Same with Ellison, in one of his An Edge in My Voice essays, where he accused those that liked slasher films of being insane. Hell, that was no news. We knew we were crazy.

But as generations passed, it was no longer shocking or satisfying to see a throat slit or garroted. A simple decapitation wasn't enough. It had to be slow and as agonizing as possible for the victim.

The ironic thing is, for the most part, these so-called Torture Porn films are better made than the average slasher movie of the early 80's. Few can touch a masterpiece like John Carpenter's Halloween, but most of them are technically sound productions.

And I like some of them. People hate me for it, but I love the Hostel movies. I like Alexandre Aja a lot, despite the mediocre Mirrors. Wolf Creek was decent and Eden Lake is damned good. The Saw series leaves me flat and cold. I quit watching them after the third one.

It's one thing for underground sickos to watch atrocities like the Guinea Pig movies, but this stuff is coming to the multiplexes. Where will it end? Dremel Tools slowly going into genitals? Babies fed into meatgrinders and made into sausage?

A New Year and New Hope

2009-01-03T04:25:00.000-08:00

And to think that 2008 started out so good...

I made decisions to better my life early last year. I made changes in my personal life, quitting some bad habits and taking on good new ones. Things were looking very good in many ways, but other aspects of my life continued to deteriorate. My marriage, already rocky, got worse and worse and finally in November of 2008, it exploded and my wife left, taking the children with her.

Those first couple of weeks were bad. I was more than a little bit insane and I went back to some bad habits and I let the good ones slide. For at least a week I couldn't sleep or work. I didn't want to even continue on.

But pain eases with time. I kicked those bad habits back to the curb and picked back up on the good ones. Still, my life felt empty and I had no energy or ambition to do anything. I hadn't been reading or reviewing. I sort-of watched movies, but it was more like having them in the background than serious viewing.

And money, always an issue to a humble guy like me, became more of an problem. Handling the house payment and other bills is a lot more challenging.

Then came the holidays. I often think that the species would be a lot better off if we had none of them. They put poor people in serious financial binds and the unhappiness of lonely people is compounded. Add to that some health difficulties I had been going through and I was feeling despair about a lot of things.

And it was time to pay up for another year of hosting for Horror Drive-In. Already sweating bills and other essentials to survival, I didn't see a way to keep this site alive. I made the announcement that I was closing the Drive-In.

I should have known. The good people here would not allow that to happen. They came through with support and now the future of Horror Drive-In is certain. For at least another year.

I want to prove that the faith and generosity of the HD-I users is not in vain. Improvements are coming to this site. More reviews, for one thing. And also some new features. I don't want to talk about them too much, at least until things are definite. But I think you'll like what we're planning.

As for me, those that have known me for a long time are aware that I'm essentially a forum rat. It's what I've been doing for the last decade. I guess I'm good at it. My main focus will be keeping the forum active. I'm taking on some help with some other areas and I'm grateful for the backup.

I feel better today. The health issues are fading and things seem a lot brighter. I always say that in troubled times, despair is the enemy. It's not always easy to take my own advice. Who knows that 2009 will bring? Hopefully we'll all remain employed, or those that have no jobs will find gainful employment. I'm sure good books and movies will be coming out, just as I'm sure that poor ones will. I mainly hope that all of us, and our loved ones, will be here to enjoy it and discuss it with the common decency that we've all come to expect from the community here at Horror Drive-In.

Thank you all so very much and let's make 2009 a good one. We all need it.

2008

2008-12-28T14:36:00.000-08:00

The year isn't quite over yet, but I think I can be safe in listing my favorites. Actually, I only list one Horror Drive-In Movie of the Year, but this year there is two.

One, my favorite movie of 2008, is not what you'd call a drive-in movie. It's Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona. What's this, you say? Sieber is listing a Woody Allen movie again. But I must beg to differ. I haven't cited a Woody Allen movie as my favorite of the year in quite some time. Not in this current decade, at least. Oh, I've liked them all and in some cases I've loved the movies. But none has taken the place in my heart as the favorite as Vicky Cristina Barcelona did.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona is a multi-faceted story of two American tourists in Spain that meet an artist. Both of them have romantic liaisons with the colorful man, and the relationships force them to question their lives and their motivations in love. Flagrant talk of kissing scenes between Scarlett Johanson and Penelope Cruz made people believe that Vicky Cristina Barcelona was some sort of breezy sex romp, which is far from the grim truth. The film is a bitter, cynical look at the futility of love for many individuals. I've seen Vicky Cristina Barcelona twice at this writing and I intend to see it several more times. It's an emotionally powerful study that demands multiple viewings. And I put it up high in the canon of Woody Allen's greatest achievements and I can give no higher praise than that.

But this is Horror Drive-In, for God's sake. It wouldn't be proper for me to list an arty European production as best of the year. Unless Jess Franco could pull one more decent film out of his hat. Doubtful as that may be. The true Horror Drive-In Movie of 2008 is, without a doubt, Inside.

Inside is a brutally uncompromising story of a madwoman trying to steal the unborn baby from a pregnant mother-to-be. This movie tested my endurance like few others I've ever seen and I've seen more than my share of brutal exploitation movies. Yet Inside also resembles an art film in its own right. This French production is stunning shot and performed. In fact, France seems to be the next big place for horror movies, with creepfests like Them, Frontier(s) and Martyrs knocking the socks off of fans around the globe.

And yes, I was aware that Inside was a 2007 movie. It was released here in The States in this past year and I'm treating it as an '08 release.

It was a good year for fiction as well. Good books were coming out at a rapid clip and fans only had trouble finding the funds to buy all they wanted. Unlike times past, such as in the fabled Horror Boom of the 1980's, when I often found myself with no horror books to read.

Here's my list of the books I read this year. I rated them by number, with a + mark behind those that were my very favorite. RR indicates a book that I had previously read.

Oh, by the way, if you laugh at the high scores that I gave, well, I happen to be a very enthusiastic fan and I tend to really like what I like. As for the lack of low scores, well, heh heh, I don't finish books I don't like.

1: Edward Lee, House Infernal: 8
2: Mary SanGiovanni, The Hollower: 4
3: Douglas Preston, Blasphemy: 10
4: Mark Justice, Deadneck Hootenanny: 6
5: Steven Wedel, Seven Days in Benevolence: 7
6: Ed Gorman, Fools Rush In: 10
7: Poppy Z. Brite, Antediluvian Tales: 9
8: Dark Delicacies 2: 6
9: Stephen King, Duma Key 10
10: Brian Keene, Kill Whitey: 8
11: Clifford D. Simak, Mastodonia (RR): 9
12: Christa Faust, Money Shot: 9
13: Thomas Tessier, Finishing Touches (RR): 10
14: Jack Womack. Random Acts of Senseless Violence (RR): 10
15: Edward Lee, Incubi: 8
16: C. Dean Andersson, Buried Secrets: 5
17: Don Robertson, The Forest of Arden: 10
18: Mack Reynolds, Commune 2000 AD: 5
19: Jack Sargeant and Chris Barber, No Focus: Punk on Film: 6
20: Richard Laymon, Savage: 8
21: Frederik Pohl, Starburst (RR): 10
22: John Farris, Son of the Endless Night (RR): 10+
23: Chet Williamson, The Story of Noichi the Blind: 9
24: Paul Theroux, A Christmas Card: 9
25: Jane Samson, The Auctioneer: 10
26: Kealan Patrick Burke, Seldom Seen in August: 10
27: Kenneth Robeson, Doc Savage, The Yellow Cloud (RR): 7
28: Peter Straub, Ghost Story (RR): 10
29: Greg Gifune, The Bleeding Season: 9
30: Jay Bonansinga, Frozen: 8
31: Robert Bloch, Shooting Star: 9
32: Ed Gorman, Sleeping Dogs: 10
33: Ray Garton, Ravenous: 8
24: Norman Prentiss, Invisible Fences: 10
25: Ray Garton, Serpent Girl: 10
26: Paul Theroux, Picture Palace: 10
27: Harry Shannon, Daemon: 9
28: Don Robertson, The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread: 10
29: Thomas F. Monteleone, Night Things (RR): 8
30: Paul Feig, Kick Me: 10
31: Paul Theroux, Nurse Wolf and Dr. Sacks: 10
32: Jack Ketchum, Old Flames: 8
33: Tom Piccirilli, The Cold Spot: 10
34: F. Paul Wilson, Jack: Secret Histories: 10
35: Bill Pronzini, Fever: 10
36: Lewis Shiner, Black and White: 10+
37: Jack Ketchum, Book of Souls: 7
38: Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child, Riptide: 10
39: Eric C. Higgs, The Happy Man (RR): 10+
40: Harry Shannon, Dead and Gone: 8
41: Peter Blauner, Slipping Into Darkness: 10
42: Neal Shusterman, Unwind: 10+
43: Richard Laymon, The Woods Are Dark (Restored): 8
44: Paul Feig, Superstud, Or How I Became a 24-Year-Old Virgin: 10
45: Bill Pronzini, Jackpot (RR): 10
46: David B. Silva, All the Lonely People: 8
47: Steven Savile, The Hollow Earth: 10
48: Ed Gorman, Several Deaths Later (RR): 10
49: Brian Keene, Ghost Walk: 9
50: Nancy A. Collins, Vamps: 8
51: Gillian Flynn, Sharp Objects: 10
52: Nicolas Pekearo, The Wolfman: 10
53: Nate Southard, Just Like Hell: 7
54: Harry Shannon, One of the Wicked: 9
55: Joe R. Lansdale, Leather Maiden: 10+
56: Edward Lee, Brides of the Impaler: 8
57: John Skipp and Craig Spector, The Cleanup: 10 (RR)
58: John Little, Miranda: 10+
59: Michael Marshall Smith, The Servants: 9
60: David Martin, Tethered: 10+
61: Ray Garton, Slivers of Bone: 10
62: Bentley Little, The Academy: 9
63: Greg Gifune, Saying Uncle: 10+
64: Bill Pronzini, Nightshades: 10 (RR)
65: Brian Keene, The Rising: Selected Stories from the End of the World: 7
66: Edward Lee, The Minotauress: 10
67: J.F. Gonzalez, Shapeshifter: 9
68: Robert A. Heinlein, Sixth Column: 8 (RR)
69: Rick Hautala, Little Brothers: 7
70: Bill Pronzini, The Other Side of Silence: 10
71: Christopher Golden, Poison Ink: 10
72: Christopher Conlon, Midnight on Mourn Street: 10 ++
73: Brian Keene, Halves: 9
74: Ronald Kelly, Tanglewood: 9
75: Brian Keene, Killing Stages: 6
76: F. Paul Wilson, By the Sword: 10
77: Robert A. Heinlein, Farmer in the Sky: 10+
78: David Morrell, The Spy Who Came For Christmas: 10
79: Andy Behrens, All the Way: 8
80: Ronald Damien Malfi, Passenger: 10
81: Robert A. Heinlein, Starman Jones: 10+
82: Thomas H. Cook, Red Leaves: 10+
83: David Martin, Losing Everything: 10+
84: Rick Hautala, The Wildman: 10

I was shooting to read 100 books in 2008 and I would have made it, but things occurred in my life in November that shut nearly everything down. I read an average of a book every two weeks since then. And take note: Christopher Conlin's Midnight on Mourn Street earned the coveted ++ score, making it to the top spot of the year for me.

So there you have it. 2008 in a nutshell for yours truly. All things considered, a hell of a good year for reading and watching movies. Add in new music releases by Ben Folds and Todd Rundgren and it was a phenomenally good year. If 2009 is half as good, I will be satisfied.

Addictions

2008-12-07T10:55:00.001-08:00

I'm a book buyer and a book reader. I probably buy at least one book a week. Some weeks are ridiculous. I might spend 50-60 dollars on the written word.

Same with movies. I buy at least one a week. Often more.

It's been at least a month since I've made a purchase. Not only that, I'm not really reading or watching movies either. Oh, I put movies on, but they're old favorites and almost backgrounds while I fold clothes or do exercises. I've tried to read a dozen or two books, but I can't focus. It's hard when your life has collapsed.

It's like any addiction. I have this urge to slide over to Amazon and order something. It doesn't have to be expensive. Just a used book or something. It's almost a physical attraction. Buying or getting packages in the mail.

Or browsing at a brick and mortar bookstore. Checking out the New Releases and bargain DVD bins at WalMart. It's one of my very favorite things to do. I think I actually enjoy the process of buying the stuff as much as reading and watching.

Hell, this message board stuff is another one. I've avoided the computer desk for the past few weeks. I regret all the time I spent here when I could have, should have, been loving my wife and kids.

I've got to learn to stop being so obsessive. It's possible to balance it all out.

I thought hard about shutting the Drive-In down. I feel like I have nothing more to say and I am growing increasingly out of touch with the small press and with the current movie scene. My head is in the past. I guess that's common for older people like me. Heck, the only book I've been able to focus on in the last week has been Stephen King's It.

I've been doing this message board stuff for over ten years now. That's a big chunk of my life. Too many hours in front of this contraption. But I don't quite think I'm ready to retire yet.

Horror Drive-In Repairs

2008-11-11T14:17:00.001-08:00

The old drive-in message board is in need of some repairs. Things have been slow and creaky lately and we might even have to shut the doors for a short period of time. Please hang with us and we'll be back with more fun and controversial talk.

In the meantime you can enjoy this blast from Weird Al's gastronomical past.

The Green Hills of Earth

2008-10-23T16:57:00.000-07:00

We pray for one last landing
On the globe that gave us birth
Let us rest our eyes on the fleecy skies
and the cool, green hills of earth.

If you've read the words of the immortal Robert A. Heinlein, it's likely that those words will bring a stirring to your spirit. Maybe they'll remind you of your youth and all the hope, wonder and optimism that most of us know as youngsters.

My first favorite writer was Heinlein, and though I never met the man, I feel an enormous debt to him. I always considered Robert A. Heinlein to be my true father. I know that I learned far more from him than I did the man I was sired by. The most important things in life are conveyed in pointed and precise language in Heinlein's books: Love, honor, duty, hope.

In those days, kids wanted to grow up to be astronauts, not some kind of geeky game designers. Well, I like to think that most of them did, but now that I look back with more clarity, it seems that the majority of the boys, the ones with less imagination, wanted to be sports professionals. But I dreamed of the stars. At least when I wasn't shivering over monsters.

Some of the greatest reading memories of my life were with Mr. Heinlein's books. I recall one time quite clearly. I suppose I was around eleven or twelve years of age:

My mother was not what you'd call a good cook. I thought that 'home cooking' was some kind of a joke and I much preferred packaged or frozen food. One of my favorites was Rice-a-Roni, as embarrassed as that makes me now. So that one day I had the house to myself and I was letting a luscious pan of The San Francisco Treat absorb its water and flavor pack and I was reading Farmer in the Sky. That twenty minutes or so seemed to take forever, because I was so hungry, but the book I was reading captivated me. I got so caught up in the exploits of young Bill Lermer and his pioneer family.

The story is fairly routine. Bill and his widowed father and brand-new wife decide to leave the overcrowded Earth and emigrate to Ganymede. For those that slept through their Science classes, Ganymede is one of the moons of Jupiter. Bill and his family embark on the spaceship which transports them to the fledgling colony on Ganymede. There they meet various hardships and discover the challenges of making a home and farm on the terraformed moon. But is nothing routine about Heinlein's storytelling. It is captivating. Bill is a remarkable young man who faces his obsticles and becomes a man in the process. Tragedy strikes on more than one occasion, but Bill learns to love his new home.

Farmer in the Sky is one of Heinlein's YA books, or as we called them back in the day, Juvenile Novels. These books may seem to be corny by jaded, quasi-intellectuals, but to individuals with some heart left in their chests, they are breathtaking and they represent that old sense of wonder more than any other books I've read. Period.

One especially poignant moment in Farmer in the Sky is when Bill tries to cheer up his family during the frigid dark phase Winter by banging out some songs on his accordian. When he plays The Green Hills of Earth, he realizes that it was the wrong time for such a nostalgic sentiment. Not during the long nights of seemingly endless cold.

My favorites of his work are the Juveniles and my favorites of the Juveniles are Farmer in the Sky and Starman Jones. I've lost count of how many times I've read these magnificent books and I'll continue to revisit them until I die.

The Green Hills of Earth is one of the keynote pieces in Heinlein's celebrated "Future History Stories", most of which are assembled in his The Past Though Tomorrow collection. He documented an entire history of events that his fiction would chronicle, from the near (1950's) present to the far flung future where humankind effortlessly traveled the cosmos. Simply put, science fiction gets no better than than Heinlein when he was on his game.

I remember one night in May 1988. I took the current issue of Time Magazine into the Reading Room for my evening constitutional. I read the terrible, unbelievable news and came out of the bathroom with tears in my eyes. My then-girlfriend looked startled and asked what was wrong. I choked out, "Heinlein died!". She kind of said, "Oh", like it was nothing. Nothing! It was like hearing that God died. To me, Robert Anson Heinlein was Lazarus Long and it didn't make sense that he had died. It didn't and it still doesn't.

The Monster Boom Years

2008-10-05T14:10:00.000-07:00

The 1960's are remembered for many things. Hippies, political upheaval, rock and roll music, explosive revolutions in literature and film, a war almost as unpopular as the one we're currently in. But I look back on that decade as a time for monsters.

Monsters were big then. The Universal movies were getting played on TV all the time. There were monster models, monster models, monster cartoons, monster record albums, monster sitcoms, monster cereals. Most of the bigger towns had horror movie hosts and the ones that didn't have their own got them broadcast in from other places. And Famous Monsters of Filmland was on the stands of the cooler magazine retailers. Oujia Boards were incredibly popular.

I was at a mini-horror con yesterday in Chesapeake, Virginia. It is a cool little event called MonsterFest and it is done by the library system. The people behind it seem pretty damned cool and they went all out. Attendance was sparse though. The people that did come were wonderful, but there should have been more. In my youth, had there been a free show dedicated to horror and monsters, it would have been packed. I guess the kids have too much to do with their X Boxes and wiis and what-the-fuck-ever game systems they have. And possibly parents were 'too busy' to take them.

I know that times change, but do they always have to change for the worse?

Just about every kid I knew was a monster fan. We'd excitedly discuss the movies we watched over the weekends and imitate the jokes that the horror hosts made. Even if, especially if, they were corny jokes. A few parents disapproved of horror movies and comics, but happily, there didn't seem to be many. Not like today's New Christians who want to deprive their kids the fun of Halloween. Fun that the vast majority of them enjoyed in their own youths. Fucking hypocrites.

I remember when I was in elementary school, there was a book in the library called Terrors of the Screen. I saw a kid with it and I was transfixed. I wanted it so bad. He let me hold it for a minute or two and, to me, it was like holding the Holy Grail. I got on the waiting list to borrow it, but I was low on it. I saw it around the school and I was jealous as hell of the lucky kids that had it. But I was never to have Terrors of the Screen for myself. I never got word from the library and I suppose that it was either lost, ruined by some disrespectful little snot, or perhaps some kid couldn't bear to give it up and kept it. I can certainly understand that. I later made up for the loss by using my saved allowance in 1973 to buy Denis Gifford's excellent A Pictorial History of Horror Films.

What happened? I don't expect today's kids to be the same as we were, but what of those that lived for monsters when they were kids? People from my generation? I'll tell you what happened: They lost the magic.

Like McCammon says in Boy's Life, we all start out knowing magic. As kids, we longed for there to be more to the world than school, parents and their humdrum jobs and the changing seasons. We turned to horror and science fiction to explore the possibilities of magic. Our logical minds might not have really believed in vampires, werewolves and giant insects, but in our souls, in our guts, we did. It was how we managed to survive the agonies of growing up.

How many of those Monster Boomers still have the love of horror in their hearts? Precious few, I think. Oh, I've brought up classic horror movies to my contemporaries and they'll usually get a sad smile on their faces. They can barely remember when they still believed. Now they tend to mock it.

If growing up means that I lose the passion for monsters, rocket ships, dinosaurs, giant bugs, then I think I'll pass. Oh, I've been unable to avoid the terrible aging process and I've been dragged, kicking and screaming, into the world of responsibility. I'd probably be homeless if I hadn't. But I keep that magic part of my heart alive. When that dies, you lose your soul.

Me at age 7, doing a Lon Chaney, Jr. impersonation.

More Drive-In Memories

2008-09-21T12:36:00.000-07:00

Back in the early 80's, drive-in theater were still operating in my home, Hampton Roads. There were a few, but one of our regular stops was Thursday nights at the Anchor Drive-In, on Jefferson Avenue.

We went on Thursdays because it was the last night before the new ones opened on Friday night. Admission was only a dollar that night and the place was always jammed.

We saw some damned good movies out there: The Beast Within, Angel, Psycho 2, The Evil Dead...dozens of them. We saw some real stinkbombs as well: Burt Reynolds and Goldie Hawn in Best Friends and Miles O'Keefe of the Apes, with Blow Derek. Of course we preferred it when good ones ran, but we never let a bad one ruin our night.

We had a tradition. Me and a friend would go to a local park. We'd start drinking beer and we'd throw the Frisbee for an hour or so. Then we'd head to the drive-in and be there right when the gate was opened. Once in, we'd secure our place in the front row, center. And we would commence to drink more beer and throw the Frisbee some more. We'd also gorge ourselves on burgers, shrimp rolls and the like from the snack bar.

A bunch of us would usually turn up and we'd all line up in the front. I worked at this seafood/trucking company and almost the entire crew would make the Thursday night party. So much so that it became company policy that if anyone called in sick on Friday, they'd get written up. Which was a fucking joke. The pay was so poor that they were fortunate that they could keep people with all four limbs in working order there.

We always made it in to work the next day, even in the thick of Summer when the second feature ran past midnight. We were tough.

When the first feature began, the serious drinking would commence. Beers flew like the wind and jokes did too. We watched the movies, sure, but we also made a game of it. Of course, we were quieter when a decent film played and much, much louder when crap was rolling.

By the time the second movie would begin, the beer would be beginning to catch up with us. I always brought a large bag of peanuts in the shell. I'd break them out about the time when the second one started, which kept our hands busy and away from the beer cans.

All that drinking. It was crazy. Overeating and drinking up a storm. It's a wonder that we even survived. And it was customary to drive home drunk as a lord. That was bad shit. I didn't drive in those days, so I wasn't actually behind the wheel, but I was just as guilty. I often talked people into coming and I always bought a ton of beer, to 'make sure that we wouldn't run out'.

That was wrong. It's amazing that no-one ever got busted or had an accident. Dumb luck, but then we were young and all of us were hard workers and we played hard too. We had constitutions of steel.

I guess I should regret all the madness, but I don't. Not really. I treasure those memories today. Looking back, it was paradise. But I also remember the lousy jobs, the constant fear of maintaining a place to live. You can't stay young forever.

I look at the situation today and I pity kids. Where can they hang out? The mall? One is being built in our area and they have decided to not have a food court, in an attempt to keep the kids from hanging out. I think that sucks. The game/pinball parlors are all but gone too. Everyone has their complex gaming systems at home. There used to be a couple of hamburger joints where kids drank sodas and had fries and hung out, but they're all gone too. Nothing but plastic fast food dives left.

The drive-in theaters were the perfect place for kids to hang. You could bring your date or cruise the place looking for action. You could party all night and unless you were being really intrusive to others, you were left alone. The manager of the Anchor even requested that we leave our beer cans there, because he recycled them. I guess there wasn't a lot of money in the theaters by that time.

Now it's all gone and I can only hang on to my memories, which grow cloudier every year.

Spotlight on Christopher Golden

2008-09-15T15:11:00.000-07:00

Chris Golden has just about done it all: Nonfiction, straightforward horror, dark fantasy, media tie-ins, YA Fiction, collaborations. And he is as talented as he is prolific. Golden publishes with alarming regularity, in a variety of types of books. One common thread runs through all of it: Excellence.

I first read Christopher Golden in his Cut! anthology. This was a cool collection of essays on horror movies, written by horror writers. After that I encountered his Shadows Series of vampire thrillers and I was hooked.

Since then I've tried to read everything I can by Golden. My favorite so far are the magical novel, Strangewood, and the brilliant horrorstory, Wildwood Road. Or perhaps The Shadows Saga, which begins with Of Saints and Shadows. And I can't forget his wistfully nostalgic The Boys are Back in Town. Truthfully, I could go on and on.

I've had the pleasure of meeting Chris Golden several times. The first time was well before I had made a sort-of name for myself with message boards. He was gracious and appeared to be genuinely grateful to meet a fan of his writing. I've met a lot of other professionals in the field. Many good people and some maybe not so good. But Christopher Golden is definitely one of the most decent individuals I've encountered. And that humanity shines through in his fiction.

Those that have read the work of Christopher Golden are probably agreeing with me. To those that haven't, what are you waiting for? Whatever your preference is, inexpensive mass market editions, deluxe collectible editions or lavishly illustrated stories, he has done them all.

Whatever Happened To Joe Dante?

2008-09-02T15:44:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite directors of all time. He did Hollywood Boulevard and Piranha for Corman, then he did a certified genre classic, The Howling. From there Joe Dante hit the big time. Gremlins was one of the biggest hits of its day and he had Spielberg backing him. After that?

Joe did a series of movies that were hit and miss with the pubic, but I liked them all. Explorers, The 'burbs, Amazon Women on the Moon (MUCH funnier than the over-hyped Lost Skeleton of Cadavra), Innerspace and Gremilns 2 and Matinee.

Small Soldiers was a modest hit. And then?

Looney Tunes Back in Action, which was a huge flop. It's not really my bag, but I liked it and thought it was hip, sharp and funny. Very respectful of the old cartoons and SF movies. Personally I think the movie is too smart for the multiplex masses.

In Hollywood, you're only as good as your last film. I don't think Joe Dante has done a studio movie since Looney Tunes Back in Action. He did wraparound sequences for the long-shelved, mediocre Trapped Ashes. He did some Masters of Horror and some other television work. Danta has a website called Trailers from Hell, which is pretty cool. And there are some unpromising indie movies in various stages of preproduction for him.

It sucks. Joe Dante seems like one hell of a nice guy and he has proved that he can make a good movie that scores with genre fans and the general public. Good God, Gremlins was made for eleven million and it earned nearly 150 mil at the box office and that's not counting merchandising, home video and television.

It sucks that Spielberg doesn't give his old associate another shot at a real movie. It's not like he can't afford to take a chance.

There's one project that Joe Dante wants to make that would be a dream come true for me. It would have absolutely no commercial potential, but would be a great movie for us, the fans. It's The Man With The Kaleidoscope Eyes, and it deals with Roger Corman and the making of The Trip. Corman, ever the trouper, ingested LSD as research for the project. Tim Lucas, of Video Watchdog fame, has written a screenplay for The Man With The Kaleidoscope Eyes. Get down on your knees and pray to the Movie Gods with me that this will, somehow, get produced and distributed.