Real. Life. Ramblings.

It's been too long

2009-10-28T18:54:00.006-05:00

Really? It's been way too long. I miss all of you. How has the blogging world been since I've been away? How in the world are you? What's new with me? Well, let's see....

I'm back at school. I'm taking Technical Drafting, Art History and Textiles. I love being at school. Summer sucked the life out of me. I think I am moving into a new season of my life. Staying home is not on the agenda anymore. I need more. Is that bad?

The next few weeks should be adventurous. Scrapbooking, birthday, nights out with friends, and more trips. It's all good.

I would love to hear from all of you. Although I have nothing snarky, swanky or interesting to write about, I think of you often. And Vuboq!! Congrats on the new job! You rock. Biddy, I am so excited that you are getting a yorkie!! Yay you!! Marathon Mom, I'll see you at the Dallas Half Marathon on Sunday. Plan on staying after for the beer. Biscuit, I love you and miss you terribly. I need some good stories next weekend.

TTFN,

Little Pink Houses For You and Me

2009-06-25T12:10:00.006-05:00

When Chris and I got married, 15 years ago, we were young. Too young. And this is the type of house we lived in. Although I think the picture of this house is nicer, you get the idea. The one we rented was more run down, and PINK.

We've come a long way, baby.

Where an empty highchair sat in the kitchen in hopes that a baby would one day fill it. It took far too long, and was far too painful. But six years later that dream came true.

Where the rent house was pink, and the age was old, and the roaches hung out.

Where the marriage was hard, and the pain was great, and the joys were few.

Where a little blond-haired girl had to live two different lives between her Mom and Dad's house, and fought the battles, and felt the pain associated with that daily.

Where the black lab named Molly lived.

Where the decision to be a full-time mom was made.

Where the locks were changed.

Where the decor of choice was "country."

Where there was NO dishwasher.

Where I first learned about "the Internet."

Where I once owned a cat.

And where I learned to be a wife, and a mom, and what perseverance really means.

20 Years Ago Today

2009-06-20T17:32:00.008-05:00

To my BEAUTIFUL daughter on her birthday.

Love yourself. Make peace with who you are and where you are at this moment in time.

Listen to your heart. If you can't hear what it's saying in this noisy world, make time for yourself. Enjoy your own company.

Try.
Take chances.
Make mistakes.
Life can be messy and confusing at times, but it is also full of surprises.

Be happy. When you don't have what you want, want what you have.

Make do. That's a well-kept secret of contentment.

There aren't any shortcuts to tomorrow. You have to make your own way. To know where you are going is only part of it. You need to know where you've been, too. And if you ever get lost, don't worry. The people who love you will find you. Count on it.

Life isn't days and years. It's what you do with the time and with all the goodness and grace that's inside you.

Make a beautiful life, because you are beautiful.

Much love,

Mom

Housecleaning

2009-05-29T14:09:00.009-05:00

Time for a little housecleaning. I've taken some time off and now it's time to get back to business. I've recooperated from my first term back in school, but some things have defintely suffered.

Let's see....

*sending snarky emails to my friends. Gotta get back to that. :o)

*my kids closets. O.M.G. could we be anymore disorganized?

*laundry. Yes, time to actually put it away once it is folded instead of it collecting dust on the kitchen table.

*filing. Why is there still paper in this world? And how does it get out of hand so fast?

*taxes. Blech. I filed an extension and now the stacks of paper on the floor must get organized and the taxes submitted. I would really like to keep procrastinating on this one. But I'm too responsible for that.

*checkbook. I guess I should balance the checkbook and make sure that I haven't bounced checks all over town in the last 5 months.

*groceries. My family will be happy to at least have peanut butter and jelly back in the refrigerator. I am NOT a cook, so they don't expect much. Shut up.

*cleaning out the garage. Ewwwwww.

*playing taxi driver when the kids get out of school in 5 days. I just don't get how many mom's are excited about this? Yes it is nice to not have a schedule or get up early anymore...but hello? Do you know how long the summer can be?

*exercising. This has definitely dropped through the cracks and I have a plan to get into that bikini before summer's end. Not that I like the sun or should be in the sun, but you know. ;)

*reacquaint myself with my local Starbuck's barista. Miss them!

So now I will restrain from logging into Facebook and Twitter and try to go get some of these things done. See you around :o)

Friday Fill-Ins

2009-05-21T22:37:00.004-05:00

1. Moving __sucks___.

2. _Live__ free.

3. My best quality is _I am always up for an adventure___.

4. _The devil is in the____ details.

5. In nearly 10 years, _I'll finally have a college degree__.

6. _Puppy kisses__are what I need right now!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _hanging with the fam____, tomorrow my plans include _partying with Dallas bloggers____ and Sunday, I want to __catch a movie with my girlfriends___!

Isn't She Lovely?

2009-05-14T19:17:00.006-05:00

Kingston's Olivia Unbreak My Heart

Meet Livy. Sophie's niece.

Isn't she wonderful???

I couldn't be more pleased.

Life has a funny way of working out. Not always the way we invision.

You Asked For It

2009-04-14T16:32:00.005-05:00

When I enrolled in design school, I didn't realize there would be times I would work on a project for days - without a shower, without food, with no time for ANYTHING.

Don't get me wrong. I love it. Well, almost. I love the fact I am there, learning about something I am passionate about. I love being in the classroom again. I enjoy my instructors and classmates, and I have even made new friends with some really cool people.

The latest project was a beating. The objective was to choose a current political situation worldwide, identify two opposing delegations (i.e. America and Japan, British and French, North and South Korea), and facilitate the design of spaces that would allow interaction and discussion between the two countries. Each of the delegates would require two private spaces, one semi-private space and and they would share a main space in which actual formal meetings would take place.

All of this in a 6 1/2 x 6 1/2 x 6 1/2 cube that we would construct from basswood sticks.

I wanted to slit my wrists.

Thankfully, it is complete, graded (I made an 80!) and we are off to the next project tomorrow night. Until then, I have to focus on project laundry, project housecleaning and project children. If they remember my name that is.

Stay tuned.

Moving Right Along

2009-03-24T19:03:00.003-05:00

I think I am done now. I am ready to get back to the art of blogging and commenting. I miss rambling on about real life in my swanky kinda way. :o) So I pledge that there will be no more self- wallowing posts about grief, pain, and misfortune. I mean, who likes to open up their Google Reader each morning to more talk about those kinds of things?? Unless, God forbid, a new event arises.

KNOCK ON WOOD. CROSS ALL FINGERS.

But as my wise and wonderful Mom says, its not a matter of IF loss will be experienced again, its only a matter of WHEN. I hope it is a while.

On that note, I really have to give a shout out to all my bloggy friends and support system who emailed, commented and called me during this less-than-desirable time.

To Manic Mommy, Bossy, Biddy, Vuboq, Marathon Mom, and all you others out there who don't have a blog but found it in your heart to contact me anyway, THANK YOU. You are all wonderful human beings and I am lucky to call you friends.

Carry on. :o)

Hope

2009-03-04T07:55:00.006-06:00

I see the nests in the trees
and hear the new babies tweets
and I am hopeful
for a new season.

A fresh beginning
where the air smells like Spring
and the sun is warm
and color once again enters the world.

Under Cover

2009-02-18T12:13:00.010-06:00

Is it safe to come out yet? Gosh it's getting hot under here and boy do I need a shower. I miss my old life but the sun has a funny way of rising every morning regardless.

It's time to get my head in the game and move along.

Did I tell you that the day before "that day" I enrolled myself in an Interior Design program at college? Did I say that the years and years of postponing and waiting to fulfill a dream was finally coming to fruition? I had a class schedule, books, supplies and fancy little spiral notebooks with kick ass pens.

The biggest thing was I had made the commitment to..........
uh........well.........................
COMMIT.

And then.

You just don't want to get out of bed. The books and supplies are stacked on your kitchen island and for all you care they can just sit there and rot. Thankfully, you have a husband, family and friends ("friends" is really not the word. It's too cliche', too shallow. Let's say..... soul sisters or kindred spirits. Yes, that is better.) who don't even try to convince you that you're going anyway. Nope. They don't bother going down that road or expending that kind of energy that they KNOW it would take to persuade you. So they TELL you in no uncertain terms that you WILL be going, you WILL be on that train, you WILL NOT quit.

Thank God. Really.

I didn't realize the time commitment I was getting myself into, but that has turned out to be a good thing. I am filling my days with measuring, sketching, and painting. I'm occupying my time and my thoughts with so many projects, reading and deadlines that it keeps me from going to the nuthouse.

And although it is getting easier not to look for her at bedtime, or expect her to be sitting on my clothes outside my shower, or running to meet me at the door when I get home......although I don't look over as often to the spot in the kitchen where her leopard bed was, or the pantry where her food and treats were, it makes me sad. I'm sad and thankful at the same time that you can learn to live without someone.

I know I have to. But I don't want to.

Pulling the Plug

2009-02-10T18:58:00.007-06:00

Things are quieter now. Slower. The senses have been sharpened and the days are more appreciated. Nothing and no one is taken for granted. Not anymore. Even in Sophie's passing she is bringing about good. That was just her way.

When tragedy happens, one has to wonder what for? Why? If God needed to get my attention, a simple tap on the shoulder would have been fine. I am an intuitive girl. I pay attention. I am conscientious. I am responsible.

Taking the life of my baby, well, that just was not necessary. What a waste of a beautiful, sweet creature. One who deserved to live a long life.

However, there is one problem with this thinking. And this one thing is clear. I am not God. And He thought best to allow it.

So now I am at that place of painful reflection. Growth. A place that is building something in me that one day I can look back on and say yes....it was not all for nothing.

I see that Sophie had many admirable qualities. Many of which we would all benefit from learning:

She never moped or complained.
She greeted everyone with welcomed enthusiasm.
She never knew a stranger.
She loved unconditionally.
Life was an adventure.
She was a lady.
She was a loyal, faithful and true friend.
She sat with me when I was sad, and played with me when I was happy.
She was generous with her love and affection.
Her heart was pure, her actions sweet.
She was the perfect travel companion.
And she had great hair.

“She is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are her life, her love, her leader. She will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of her heart. You owe it to her to be worthy of such devotion” – Anonymous

She was my crown jewel, my prize, my Sophie.

I'll Never Stop Loving You

2009-01-22T18:54:00.002-06:00

It's too late for panic. Accept the inevitable.

Mikey's Pure Silk Spanish Sophia
"Sophie"
February 22, 2006 - January 16, 2009

Shootin' at the Walls of Heartache, Bang, Bang, I AM the Warrior

2009-01-08T16:02:00.007-06:00

Blogger is a mess today. I couldn't upload my pictures. So I did this quiz for fun.

You Are Warrior II

You are confident and brave. Failure is not an option for you.

You aren't easily intimidated or scared off. You will stand and fight.

You have more endurance than anyone you know. You have a will of steel.

When other people are giving up, you're the one just getting started.

What Yoga Pose Are You?

Merry Christmas

2008-12-23T14:59:00.004-06:00

To all my bloggy friends: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Love to you all :o)

XO,

Happy Birthday Tiny Dancer

2008-12-21T08:26:00.007-06:00

3 days

3 years

Age 7

2008-12-15T20:21:00.005-06:00

I ran a really tight ship today. And I managed to do it with love and calmness, which is not always the case. Lots of things were marked off the "to do" list, including class projects, homework, dinner at home and some good one on one with the kids. All of this and I even managed to sleep in, snuggle with the dog and rock out to my iPod while getting ready this morn..., er uh, afternoon. :o)

Can I just tell you how much Gracie (my youngest) makes me laugh? I was at the school last week and my friend walked in the classroom and Gracie said, "Mrs. Lloyd is in the house." Then she proceeded to wish her a happy birthday and said, "you're 21, bright?" My friend said, "Close, I'm 22."

Then we are all sitting at lunch and a little girl asked Mrs. Lloyd, "What do you do for work?" She said, "I have the hardest job, I raise 2 kids." The girl said that her mom raises 4 kids. Mrs. Lloyd replied, "Well, my niece and nephew live close so it's like I have 6 kids." Then my Gracie said, "It's me and my brother, and that's like having 100 kids!"

Boy oh boy!! She speaks the truth!

It's Friday, and you know what that means........

2008-12-11T19:50:00.008-06:00

And...here we go!

1. Friends _complete me. We are all so different, but bring so many unique gifts and wisdom to life's table. I believe that a spouse and family should be the first priority, but understanding that there is more to your life outside your immediate family is a gift. Down the road when we are older, and perhaps alone, only then, will we fully understand__.

2. _I am thankful for my__ health; it's _getting more and more important to me__.

3. I'm ready for _The Melting Pot__.

4. _Calvin Klein's Euphoria__ is one of my favorite perfumes or aftershaves or smells.

5. The oldest ornament I have is _Ashley's Baby's First Christmas__.

6. Take some _pink boas and six wacky women__, mix it all together and you have _a picture to cherish for a lifetime (and we look hawt too LOL )__.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _hosting another Christmas party__, tomorrow my plans include __Bethlehem Revisted__ and Sunday, I want to _relax but I can't because I have to up the volunteer hours at Chamberlain Ballet Co._!

Guaranteed

2008-12-10T18:10:00.017-06:00

I made the following recipes at my recent Girl's Get Merry Party. They are guaranteed to have them coming back for more!!!

Baked Brie with Pistachios and Craisins

1 Brie wheel
1 cup shelled pistachios
1 cup dried Craisins
2 packages croissant roll dough
melted butter for basting

Place croissant dough triangles with straight ends slightly overlapping, forming a star shape. Pinch dough together to make a crust for the Brie to sit on. Slice Brie horizontally in half. Place bottom half of Brie on the center of the dough. Mix Craisins and Pistachios together and press together on Brie half with your hands. Place top of Brie on top of nuts and Craisins. Bring points of croisssant dough together on top, pinching seams together and making a little twist on top with the dough points. Brush pastry with melted butter. Bake at 350 for about 10 minutes until golden brown. Serve immediately with crackers. Before serving, cut a wedge out so that the Brie melts out a little bit and the filling is visible.

Champagne Punch

1/2 tube of frozen cranberry juice cocktail
1/4 cup Cointreau
1 bottle Champagne WELL CHILLED
Fresh cranberries

Mix juice and liqueur in a glass pitcher or decanter until juice is dissolved and no longer frozen. Tilt pitcher to the side and slowly pour in champagne. Stir gently. Serve in champagne glasses or wine glasses and garnish with fresh cranberries....they will float.

You can rim glasses with a twist of lemon or lime. YUM.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-12-03T08:44:00.002-06:00

They grow up so fast...

Webster, I think I lurrrvee you!

2008-12-01T20:40:00.005-06:00

My son has found a new girl.

Merriam is her name.

He reads her like his favorite bedtime story.

I'm not sure what this means, but I will try not to shrink him.

Today he comes into my office, book in hand.

Here is how it happened:

Caleb: Mom? I looked up the word "Mom" in the dictionary. Do you know what it says?

Me: Tell me oh great and powerful Oz.

Caleb: It says the meaning is short for "Mother."

Me: Oh really?

Caleb: So I looked up "Mother."

Me: And?

Caleb: It says that "Mother" means a female parent.

Then he breaks into tears.

Caleb: But I tell you THAT definition is wrong.

A mom loves you, feeds you, takes care of you and YOU are so much more than a "female parent."

You are my Mommy.

And I was at a loss for words.

He never ceases to amaze me.

Thought Provoking

2008-11-17T17:02:00.008-06:00

Girls weekend is over. **sigh**

The walks, talks, hugs, pedicures, dancing, pictures, and walking through town with pink boas were thoroughly enjoyed. Like sand through the hour glass, these are the days of our lives.

One thing is for sure, we always partake in thought-provoking conversations. Whether it's about raising kids, childbirth, discipline, careers, spirituality, or just the hard work it takes to be a wife and mother, we always find the support and advice we need.

I found one topic of conversation so interesting, I am still pondering it today. While taking a walk through town, we passed by a cemetery. Feeling a tad bit melancholy, we took time to read the headstones. We read about babies, grand babies, husbands and wives, dedications to loved ones and tributes to soldiers. As I looked over the hills of the graveyard, I saw hundreds of silk flowers left in honor of their loved ones. That's when I said, "Please girls, when I die, I don't want any fake flowers on my grave. In fact, I am not sure if I want a grave at all."

As we started talking about wills, cremation, plots and wishes, one of my friends plopped down on a stone bench that was in front of a grave.

"How about one of these? Do you want a bench?"

I wasn't sure at the time. But now I've had time to think about it.

Yes. A bench would be nice. Because I think what I would want to say is....

"Pull up a seat and stay awhile. And tell me what is on your mind."

Just don't bring any fake flowers. A pink boa maybe, but no fake flowers.

Times To Remember

2008-11-12T17:11:00.004-06:00

NOTE: Why is it when you google "string" for a blog picture you get dozens of thong pictures? I'm just sayin'.

Gracie: M-O-M! Please tell Caleb to leave my tattoo art set alone.

Caleb: M-O-M! I didn't do anything.

Gracie: Did too.

Caleb: Did not.

Gracie: You Did TOO.

Caleb: I just wanted to see it.

Gracie: MOM, MOM, M-O-M! He is getting to the end of my string!!!

Good times.

Because I Must Be In To Self Affliction

2008-11-07T19:19:00.004-06:00

First off, let me say that I LOVE Disney World. We have been there twice and I have always wanted to go during the holidays. This year, my dream is coming true.

We go all out. I sew like crazy making the kids coordinating outfits like the one you see here. We do the character dinners, autographs, pin trading, etc.

This year, however, I must be in to self affliction.

We do a great deal of traveling. All on American Airlines points, Hilton points, and what ever else points we can get our hands on. This is one of the perks of having a husband who travels for his profession. Currently, we have accumulated enough points to travel to Paris in the spring of 2009.

The husband also cashed in some points for a stay in Disney World this December. But we do not want to use airline points to fly 5 people to Florida. Which leaves only one option. D - R - I - V - E.

We do have Hertz points to rent a very nice SUV to make the trip as comfortable as possible. But who am I kidding? 24 hours in the car with 3 kids? I must be mental.

If we survive, we will have a magical time in the happiest place on earth during the holiday season.

If we don't, send help. And tell our parents Merry Christmas.

What's Keeping My Mind Off Election Day

2008-11-04T11:25:00.007-06:00

It's Swankymama's Bday!!!

It is a great day when you wake up to this:

And you eat this for breakfast:

And your son serenades you:

And the weekend before you did some of this:

And of course you get a call from your Mom. Hi Mom!

Thanks to all who have made this a fantastic day!!!!!

EERY Friday Fill-Ins Bwa ha ha ha ha!!

2008-10-30T20:14:00.005-05:00

#96

And...here we go!

1. My favorite food seasoning is __basil__.

2. __A social invitation__ is music to my ears.

3. Lucky is __as lucky does__.

4. __Relationships__ is something I take very seriously.

5. Many people __face the same battles__.

6. __A Christmas present___ was the last thing I bought at the store.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _trick or treating with my kids__, tomorrow my plans include __celebrating birthdays__ and Sunday, I want to __decompress__!