tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21768530.post114903328103297307..comments2009-07-13T09:05:12.249-05:00DWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16331884435192550372noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21768530.post-1149143836387225572006-06-01T01:37:00.000-05:002006-06-01T01:37:00.000-05:00Wow... thanks for this.<BR/><BR/>When my sister was killed in 2003, I wasn't angry at God. I simply became convinced that He didn't really exist. In the midst of this bizarre tragedy, while we were in Michigan, my dad had a small heart attack, so I had to take him to the emergency room! The anger, hopelessness, and cold loneliness were overwhelming. I remember sitting fat, achy, mad, and alone with laryngitis to boot, in the gray hospital cafeteria, eating some gross bag of vending machine garbage, angry at Non-God, everything in the world and everyone in it, determined that God did not exist. But somewhere, like a gas pilot light, His Spirit would NOT extinguish, would not let me go. The presence of God was palpable, not overwhelming, but just barely there in the midst of my angry grief...<BR/><BR/>My family wanted me to sing at the funeral, and my voice was physically gone. I couldn't barely croak out words to speak, let alone to sing in front of 600 people. Dad was discharged from the hospital, and after I came back to my sister's house the next day, I prayed that if God was really there, if You're really there, then You meet me in this mess because I'm going nuts. You give me my voice back. If You're really there, then You make me sing because my voice is still gone, and it's really bad.<BR/><BR/>The morning of the funeral, I climbed, mute, into a hot shower and took a deep steamy breath. I vocalized clean up to an F, which is pretty darned high for me even when I'm healthy. I was stunned. He did it. He stepped into my insolent, selfish, doubtful rage and lovingly granted my request. And that is just one time when the Lord has been really, really good to me. That little, insistent flame of the Holy Spirit never, ever went out.Juanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06095483779737167838noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21768530.post-1149128180299583062006-05-31T21:16:00.000-05:002006-05-31T21:16:00.000-05:00my grandfather actually passed away this year on easter from cancer, and i went through the same thing.<BR/><BR/>this helps a lot. thanks.meaghanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11556364159520399664noreply@blogger.com