a girl i used to know

I've gone...

2007-08-07T22:59:00.000+10:00

love, life???

2007-05-08T07:16:00.000+10:00

my horoscope for today...

'Now, you know me. I'm not the sort of astrologer to make a clear, specific prediction when I can bandy about a few euphemisms and metaphors. My friend Meg does the tall, dark, handsome strangers. I do the deep and philosophical stuff. The trouble is, every so often, you get an astrological development with such direct, unequivocal meaning, that you just can't disguise it with any amount of long-winded waffle. Venus is in your sign now. Your love life is about to start getting a lot better.'

soup

2007-04-25T00:19:00.000+10:00

dear shirl must have read my mind when she posted her comment that it has been a month since i last scribbled here.

i started composing something to post in my head while riding the bus home from work today but ended up in tears so this will have to do. i also have several unfinished rambles in the draft folder and 2 or 3 new single post blogs where i have tried to dump the alphabet soup that simmers in my mind. the words just don't fit together any more.

i never thought i would say this but the truth is, i'm bored, bored, bored with teh internets. i still flickr because it stimulates my creative brain cells but it seems my wordy brain cells have run away.

vote for pedro

2007-03-19T21:41:00.000+11:00

not a lot had been happening in my little corner of the world. go to work, come home, repeat. this week, there are some interesting happenings so i figured i should come over and say hello :)

this last weekend was spent at my parent's place - there are 3 family birthdays this week, two major (brother-in-law turned 50 yesterday and father turns 75 tomorrow) and one that is a year away from major (my eldest sister turned 49 today). i'm a bit freaked out that in just over 4 years, i will hit that half century! gah!!

this coming weekend, i will be working at the polling place for the state elections. i signed up online a little while ago and when i had not heard anything from them by friday, i figured i had missed out. i'm sure it will be a very interesting experience.

so, yeah, i'm still alive. life goes on. once the exciting stuff is over, i will probably start to weird out again about the sameness of everything. there seems to be a monotonous emptiness to the future, where nothing will ever change.

wow!

2007-02-19T21:39:00.000+11:00

my friend mav is at the snow patrol concert tonight. she has called me from her mobile so i could hear them and i was lucky enough to hear three of my favourite songs - wow, chasing cars and shut your eyes. what a great girl she is! :)

feathers

2007-02-18T23:36:00.001+11:00

amy and her mardi gras feathers
Originally uploaded by threed.

the mardi gras fair was on today and doggie rescue had a stall there. i went with lorraine, one of the doggierescue volunteers. we sold some raffle tickets and some little toy dogs. it was a lovely day out, lots of dogs, a little bit of sunburn and lots of fun things to see. this little baby is amy, one of our rescue dogs. she dressed up in her finest mardi gras outfit and barked with happiness.

later in the afternoon, i had coffee with miss e. she has been down in melbourne for the last few days and bought back the cutest gift for me :) yeah, i'll say it again, everybody should have friend as fabulous as her!

the afternoon was spent doing some semi-serious housework. i managed to get all the hair monsters off the carpet and ran the hoover over it and it looks fabulous for the first time in ages!

past

2007-02-10T09:19:00.000+11:00

Your past life diagnosis:

I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Siberia around the year 975. Your profession was that of a designer, engineer or craftsman.

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
You always liked to travel and to investigate. You could have been a detective or a spy.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
You fulfill your lesson by helping old folks and children. You came to this life to learn to care about the weak and the helpless.

Do you remember now?

found at the other side... hey shirl, considering we were around in the same time, do you think we might have somehow crossed paths then?? :)

determination

2007-02-09T01:03:00.001+11:00

warped medusa
Originally uploaded by threed.

i was determined to post something tonight and here it is, 1am already.

life goes on, nowt terribly exciting to tell you. although some people might dispute it, i try to keep my mouth shut if i have nothing to say :P

i was distracted away from the interweb by an almost two hour phone conversation with mr wednesday night. despite me still being a bit wiggy about the blip on the friendship radar, we talk more now than we ever did before and things are ok.

anyway, a 22 dog day, my bowling effort tonight was pretty good (6 games, average of 109, bowled 137, 86, 119, 115, 106 & 130) and lunch with my dear friend michael. life is ok

365 days...

2007-01-30T20:30:00.000+11:00

...and only 108 posts. three of those were drafts that never saw the light of day...

one is titled 'role models' and is empty. to me, that says a lot.

in another i was trying to get across one of my crazy concepts about depression being a selfish affliction, as i have been so self-obsessed in the last year. i still am, but i need to be. my self has been sadly neglected for way too long.

the third one is my horoscope from november 11, 2006. it's from a source i cannot remember but i suspect it was from here. i think it needs to be aired now...

"You're not where you used to be. You are, though, passing scenery that you recognise. So how then can you have 'moved on?' Because the town you are travelling through has been designed along similar lines to the one you used to know. Road layouts have been copied. Some buildings have even been transported, brick by brick. Even so, it's not the same place. It can't trap you. It doesn't belong to you - or you to it. Allow your sense of recognition to foster a sense of confidence, not despair."

today marks then end of the first year of this blog. i'm still looking for that girl. i catch glimpes of her but i fear she might only exist in my imagination.

a new resolution is provide at least 109 and possibly more than 216 posts before this date in 2008.

resolute

2007-01-25T22:05:00.000+11:00

so, am i keeping my resolutions?

my last post confirms the first one.

i have finished reading my 2nd book for the year - i recommend that you check this guy out. if you have not already read praise or seen the movie, do it now! the 3rd book is underway. not my usual style and purchased in a geeky sci-fi bookstore! it is a bit silly but i'm getting some giggles, so it's all good.

mmm... number three resolution... i was talking to this person (who might well become known as mr wednesday night on these pages - don't ask...) last night and i admitted for the first time that the first person i have to fall in love with is me... what a relief it was to get that out of my head and off into the universe! :)

restoration

2007-01-24T21:37:00.000+11:00

finally, 6 days after the double rent payment, my bank account now looks a lot healthier. after lunch, i checked my account online and found it still precariously in the negative. i called the estate agency this afternoon and as usual i was told 'just stepped out, back in an hour, i'll get him to call you... blah blah blah'. perhaps it was the threat of a serious complaint against their branch that made them act... by the time i got home, some sort of positive balance had returned to my life :)

on a further positive note, the ever-shrinking susan has now shed a total of 12.3 kg, otherwise known as 27.11 lbs. a long slow process but after 8 weeks of yoyoing to reach the the first major goal of 10 kg, three weeks without a gain is a good thing.

not happy, jan!

2007-01-19T21:30:00.000+11:00

i discovered today that the rent has been debited from my bank account twice this week, royally screwing me into the dark end of the overdraft. the dickhead from the estate agency finally called me back after 6pm to say sorry, but tough - not much we can do until the accounts people are in the office next tuesday. fuckers. it is not the first time they have screwed the rent payments up. serious consideration now being given to moving on. i think i have lived here long enough.

unweirding

2007-01-16T19:53:00.000+11:00

just for something different, last night i moved my pillows to the left and slept in the middle of the bed. it was strange but i managed to sleep.

on a less weird note, i am going to start bowling again, in a phantom league. basically, you have to bowl once a week, pretty much anytime it suits you. you don't know who else you are competing against or what their scores are. it suits me better than being locked into a certain night each week. i'm also going to enter this - the bowling competition is on at my local bowling centre this year so it will be easy peasy!

a new mantra

2007-01-15T22:54:00.000+11:00

thanks to the fabulous susan over at ebc, i have a new mantra. susan always comes up with the good stuff!

6 weird things about me

2007-01-15T06:31:00.000+11:00

i've been tagged by shirl :)

1. despite having an entire double bed at my disposal, i sleep on the very edge of the mattress.
2. i can only wink with my right eye - my left eye will not close unless i also close my right eye at the same time.
3. i used to have a nickname that some people actually thought was my real name. very few people call me that name these days, but i love it when someone does.
4. i like to do things, like getting dressed, 'in the right order' and get stressed if that order is disrupted.
5. i have way too many coffee mugs for someone who lives alone.
6. i know for a fact that i am rather weird, yet i found it difficult to think of six weird things about me :)

i've seen this on so many other blogs that i doubt there are 6 left to tag - if you have not told us your weirdness, please take this opportunity to do it now.

resolve

2007-01-07T13:17:00.000+11:00

the new year is a week old and i have not updated as much as i planned to...

so, what's been keeping me happy?
finding a pair of earrings that i thought had been lost forever
buying a diary to help me keep track of the days
a visit to melbourne next weekend
my current favourite music obsession - going to see them play next tuesday night

In the year 2007 I resolve to:
Figuring out why I really need 7 e-mail addresses.

Get your resolution here.

my real resolutions?
continue to be kind to and take more care of my self
read more (i've already read one book this year and am well on the way to finishing the 2nd)
fall in love - this will be the tough one but i hope it will be achieved

as for the email addresses, i actually have 10...

2007-01-01T12:08:00.000+11:00

wishing you all the very best for a fabulous 2007.

i spent new years eve in the usual fashion, drinking champagne and watching the fireworks with miss e.

2007 is going to be a great year, because i said so.

have a good one!

saturday serenity

2006-12-30T20:33:00.000+11:00

spending friday night visiting niina and her husband and waking up to 3 gorgeous doggie faces with lovely wagging tails followed by a lazy freeform breakfast on the deck and a trip to the city to see 'open season 3D' at the imax theatre
a yahoo chat with the wonderful karen
itunes picking all my favourite songs when i put it on shuffle
deciding to update my wee bloggy more often, with random things that have made me happy :) hopefully this will herald the return of my blog muse

'tis the season

2006-12-23T11:10:00.000+11:00

merry christmas to friends, visitors, lurkers and anybody else who stumbles upon my wee bloggy. be safe, happy and kind.

back tuesday or thereabouts.

2006-12-19T20:36:00.000+11:00

found this at nicole's and thought it would be a good way to ease myself back into blogging mode...

The task?:

1. put your music player on shuffle.
2. press forward for each question.
3. use the song title as the answer to the question.
no cheating!

what does next year have in store for me? shipbuilding - elvis costello and the attractions
what’s my love life like? this time of life - new order
what do i say when life gets hard? know it's true - evermore
what do you think of on waking up? shout - tears for fears
what song will i dance to at my wedding? (hahaha - not likely) f*cking the exhibits - faker
what do you want as a career? tell me when the whistle blows - elton john
your favourite saying? save a prayer - duran duran
favourite place? crunch - doves
what do you think of your parents? the wild son - the veils
what’s your pornstar name? litter bin - grand national
where would you go on a first date? out like a light - the panics
drug of choice? deacon blues - steely dan
describe yourself. dum dum girl - talk talk hahahahahahahah!!
what is the thing i like doing most? dirty work - steely dan
what is my state of mind like at the moment? a bad dream - keane spooky!!
how will i die? caugh by the river - doves

i'm also tagging whoever wants to have a go.

life goes on here in 3rd daughter land.

a bit too much binge drinking for the silly season, tempered with some nights out where i manage to stay sober.

the friendship has been salvaged but the points of reference have changed enormously so i still don't know how it will turn out.

still visiting my doggies every 2nd sunday - they keep me sane and i don't know how i survived before i found them.

have the week between christmas and new year off - will spend christmas with my family but have no plans yet for new year. i might even stay in with a bottle of wine and some dvds.

say hello...

2006-11-21T22:56:00.000+11:00

to dear sweet ruska, one of the doggierescue dogs. he now has his own dogblog. it is maintained by his dear foster mum, niina (who you may remember from such posts as cookies and life...) in the short time he has been with his foster family, he has had a rather wild adventure. please drop by and check out his little piece of the whirled wild whatever. (to leave a comment, click on 'kommentoi' - it's finnish you know, as is the lovely niina.)

as for me, well, my 10kg adventure continues - hopefully this week it will happen. i'm not going to get all worked up about it. it seems the weeks i try hard, i gain and in the weeks i try less hard, i lose. the braindump has subsided but i will tell you that it was about how shifting the weight is the easy part, it is shifting the inner workings of my mind that is the difficult thing. i knew this would be an issue and the truth is i sometimes think it would be easier to go back to being the sit on my arse, chocolate, biscuit & icecream guzzling monster that i was but i'm proud to tell you that, despite wanting to so badly, i have still not given in and bought that packet of arnott's chocolate mint slice biscuits or the bathtub sized vat of icecream. i limit my chocolate intake to individual 'funsize' items or when i really feel the need, a chocolate bar of some sort. truth is, i would kill for a block of lindt intense orange but until they make it in single serve portions or i have about 5 other people to share the block with, it is off the menu. at the thought of not having my beloved lindt intense orange for a long time, i think i'm gonna cry now :)

p.s. i also wanted to say a big thank you to those who continue to visit and leave lovely & loving comments. i am a bad blogfriend for not replying and i hope you will forgive me and continue to visit. i've gotta get on the blogtrail and visit y'all :)

and so is christmas...

2006-11-16T23:43:00.000+11:00

it's coming...

despite my best intentions of keeping a lid on it, the brain dump is screaming for attention and wants out. (would you believe that the song playing on the radio as i type this is can't get you out of my head...)

worrying, insecure, emotional, anxious, reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive

2006-11-04T13:25:00.000+11:00

yeah, that's me...

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Religious	\|\|	10%
Hedonism	\|\|	10%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Need to dominate	\|\|	10%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|	16%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Physical Fitness	\|\|	10%
Histrionic	\|\|	10%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.
Extraversion results were moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

trait snapshot:introverted, irritable, feels invisible, observer, depressed, does not enjoy leadership, reveals little about self, dislikes large parties, feels undesirable, does not like to stand out, submissive, suspicious, emotionally sensitive, not a thrill seeker, solitude loving, likes silence, fragile, second guesses self, negative, unadventurous, fearful, weird, focuses on people's hidden motives, paranoid, phobic, dependent, cautious, avoidant, semi intellectual

up and down

2006-11-01T20:57:00.000+11:00

today was the day i was supposed to share with you the 10kg milestone. 'tis a pity i managed to gain 1kg instead of losing the .9kg i needed to lose to reach my goal. no mille lire roast vegetable & feta pizza for my celebration dinner now :(

then i came home to a letter telling me that the rent is going up by $15 a week.

these two ups have left me quite down. i had a little 'feeling sorry for myself' cry and blamed hormones. i guess i cannot blame hormones for the rent increase but it kinda fits for everything else...

i know i have been skimming under the surface again. i know why. i know why i'm really feeling all fucked up.

the incident i referred to previously was neatly swept under the carpet as a few days after it happened, the other party conveniently left town for a few weeks. this weekend is the scheduled return and i realise that i am still pissed off and fear that the friendship that i treasured and really wanted to preserve is probably going to end.

echo

2006-10-17T23:01:00.000+10:00

just an echo from my comments box...

helloooo! yes, i am here. there is a massive big tmi post working it's way through my veins, expect either a massive brain dump or some bite sized chunks of brain toast :)

then again, it may all remain within my head.

meanwhile, amuse yourself by taking a peek at my flickrdogs :)