Demeur

A Christmas Carol Part Two

2009-12-15T09:22:00.000-08:00

Act II The ghost of Christmas past

Little Ebonezer McConnell's parents were big fans of FDR. You see the little Boner contracted polio at a very early age and was forced to do therapy after going to Warm Springs something Roosevelt had started for the benefit of poor kids with polio. This would not do in Ebonezers' mind. We need to get rid of the riff raff of society he thought and he was just the person to do it. When all of these socialist programs were in full swing he hatched a plan. How to get these people to pay up the nose and get nothing in return. As he made his way through government stepping on toes and kicking anyone aside who got in his way. He was after all a member in good stand of the good ole boys netwark.

The ghost of Christmas past had little to say. Merely reached out his arm and grabbed Boner by the upper arm and they were off to his old Kentucky home.

"Nezer?" That's what his mom called him. "You will reconsider you're positions. FDR would not have been proud of you you know." said his mom.
"Nah mom I have to support the party line." "Jerry said I could have a great future if I'd just be more conservative". "I know I'll back that new kid Raygun." "I always liked playing with rayguns."
"Nezer you promise me you'll be more compassionate like Roosevelt and stop hanging around with that bad crowd. Those republicans won't amount to anything if you ask me." said his mom.
"Ah mom, but with the republicans I'm makin more money that you and Dad put together." touted the young Boner.

And a montage of the good times flashed before his eyes. Of back room deals and money laundering through campaign committees. Of D.C. cocktail parties and setting policy that benefited his friends in business. It was an orgasm of power and money from the memories of his youth.
Then there was the scene of Tiny Tim Geithner working his way up the financial food chain. Happy as a lark he was following the direction of his masters Bush and Cheney. He just knew the good times would never end. Tim worked hard to lower the amount of capital required to run a bank and that was perhaps his downfall. There was no turning back now. His fate was sealed and his time was now limited. Crippled by his own actions.

"Those were some good times. said the Boner. "Can I stay just a little longer oh please?"
"No said the ghost, these are things that can never be again, at least not for you."
"Then what will become of Tim?" "Is there any hope for him?" "Maybe we could get him off with a pardon." "We could sneak it into one of those Democrat spending bills."

But there was no more word from the ghost and once again the Boner found himself back in his leather chair.

Stay tuned for Part Three after words from our sponsers

Intermission

2009-12-14T10:14:00.000-08:00

This play is being brought to you by these proud sponsors:

Chia Pets - Now with a Joe Bidin version. See what Joe would look like with a full head of hair.

The Clapper - That wonderful device that has your lights going off and on by themselves on July 4.

And Bull of Heaven condoms - If anything gets out of that condom you can name him Houdini.

While you're up why not head to the lobby where you can try some of our delicious stale popcorn and watered down fruit drinks. Our candy counter is amply stocked with over sized and over priced candies guaranteed to keep the dentist busy all of next year.

A Christmas Carol D.C. style

2009-12-13T11:02:00.000-08:00

Editors note: I can only hope I can do justice to something that Distributorcap would write and sorry no cute photoshoped images of Sarah Palin or the rest of the wingnut crowd. Think of Lionel Barrymore playing a character that's a cross between Scrooge and Mr. Potter of 'It's a Wonderful Life.'

Act I - The ghost of Christmas present

The scene opens with snow flakes starting to fall outside the D.C. office of Ebonezer McConnell. From behind his heavy oak office door you can tell the "Boner" is not happy.
"Dithers have you counted the funds from the insurance lobbyists yet?" bellows the Boner.
"No Mr. McConnell, not yet."
"Well why the hell not you lazy peon?"
"I'm still counting all the gold coin from the energy companies from when Bush and Cheney were in office." whined the manservant.
"Well get your lazy ass in gear. I want to get this wrapped up before the Christmas break. The guys from Wall Street are throwing a party and I don't want to miss it. There's even a rumor that Sarah Palin will pop out of a cake. You know what that means don't you?"
"No sir."
"Means I won't have to use those free samples of Viagra I got for doing the drug companies that big favor."
"What favor would that be?"
"Are you a dunce? Why Medicare part D of course." "Just love the way they came up with that big hole in the middle. We can drain em for every penny they've got. And you know I get kick backs er.. residules if they live past two years."

As the Boner slumps back in his big leather chair for a nice after lunch nap the room goes dark and things get all starry and magical.
Enter the ghost of Christmas present played by Ed Shultz

"You know folks if we don't get a public option then health care reform as we know it is dead."
"Just look behind me at the lines here at the mobile free health care clinic we've set up."
"Is this what you want for the American people Ebonezer?"
McConnell snaps from his afternoon nap. "Why sure, it was good enough for my great grandparents so why can't people buck up and live with it?"
"BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE DYING!" bellows the ghost, nearly shattering the windows.
"Are there no vouchers? Are there no free clinics?" the Boner states gruffly.

"And what's to become of Tiny Tim Geithner?" says the ghost.
"What about him?" grumbles the Boner.
"Well you take my hand and we'll go have a look" says the ghost
"I said take my hand, that's not my hand! screamed the ghost
Like a wisp of the wind the two were transported to the office of Tiny Tim.
There in a fake wood paneled office with Office Depot furniture was Tim slumped over his desk with a bottle of cheap scotch half full next to his monitor and a tipped over shot glass with it's dregs starting to stain the papers on his desk. On his computer screen was the beginning of an outline. Heading read "How to justify AIG executive bonuses." The roman numerals proceeded but nothing was written.
"Good ole Tim, injected Boner, he was almost as good as Scooter. But now his time looks like it's nearly up. Oh well that's what we do ghost. When you're part of our party you have to make sacrifices."
" Can we get on with this ghost? I need to get back to the hill to vote against any bill the Democrat party may come up with."
The ghost, "Sure as soon as you've taken my poll." "Tonight's question: Do you think Ebonezer can block any health care reform? press 1 for yes and 2 for no. The results after the third act.

Stay tuned for the next act coming soon....

Iraq robbery

2009-12-12T09:16:00.000-08:00

Sometime in the years after the start of the Iraq war I recall reading the oil agreement that the interm government had drawn up with the U.S.(Yes I read obscure things like that because I like to know the truth.) Entirely written by the U.S. oil companies it was an obscene piece of work. I seem to remember (don't quote me on this) that the deal gave 90% of the money to the oil companies with but 10% going to the Iraqis. And I'm sure the oil companies could have taken most of the 10% with hidden fees and security costs.

The Plan
There was no real plan to rebuild Iraq. Most of that money was stolen anyway. But there sure was a plan to get the oil.
Even two years before the Iraq war started they (oil company execs and advisors) were planning this thing. This was nothing more than a home invasion robbery and a violent one at that. We cut the first line of defense. Had Dad running from the house to hid in a hole then took out his sons one by one so we could strike a deal with any remaining distant family members. For the largest asset the family had, oil. And now that we had the lions' share of the booty we leave the scraps to the rest of the world robbers waiting in the bushes.
So now we have what's left over after Haliburton got finished with the Iraqis The Scraps And the media makes it sound like these countries got most of the oil. Think again.

Friday Pussy

2009-12-11T18:45:00.001-08:00

You can't tell I like the pussies.

And for the latest weekly bank failure update:
SolutionsBank Overland Park KS
Valley Capital Bank, N.A. Mesa AZ
Republic Federal Bank, N.A. Miami FL

Medical no coverage

2009-12-10T00:34:00.000-08:00

I seem to recall senators on both sides of the aisle saying that we need health care reform just last year. Both sides were touting competition as the solution to rising costs. In looking at the Democratic platforms of the 08 campaign there was even a plank about health care for Americans which reads as follows and this is an exact cut and paste:

Provide high quality affordable health care
Access to high quality affordable health care is essential for every American.
As a nation, we have the resources to provide this care for all our citizens, as well as for our guests.
We have the knowledge, the skilled professionals, the technology and the funds.

Now all of a sudden any hint of a public option or competition has been nearly ruled out. The first compromise was to eliminate competition by eliminating a public option for all but those 55 to 64 without insurance. And since this bill won't go into effect until some time in 2012 42,000 people will die due to lack of coverage.
If what I've been hearing is accurate then there is no real reform. Your senators have had their pockets lined with gold. The insurance companies have been shoveling money at our senators since last spring when the serious negotiations were started. And what has been the response of the republicans? Aside from dumping massive amounts of ammendments (and they wonder why the bill is so lengthy) they have attempted to fillibuster any attempts to get this legislation to the floor for a vote. They'd like nothing better than to stop the entire process and start over again. Well to them I say tell that to the patient with treatable cancer who's just had his coverage canceled because the insurance company and the hospital can't agree on reimbersments. Tell that to the guy who's been layed off and been without coverage for over a year.

Now the states are running short on funds and having to cut those at the bottom. I hear the SCHIP program may have to be cut because there isn't enough money. This was a program that was just expanded in February . People are being told to take their kids to the emergency room. Where's the logic in that? Now instead of a $100 doctor visit that could easliy been spread out among many will turn into a $500+ visit and tie up doctors and nurses who should be doing emergency work. The stupidity just overwhelms me. Does penny wise and pound foolish come to mind?

What's the real solution? I'd say a 3 to 4% national sales tax on all items except food with a sliding scale copay based on income would be more than enough to cover everyone. By spreading the risk or costs it would cost much less. Health care shouldn't be a privledge but a right of all Americans. We seem to have the funds to kill people, why can't we find the funds to save lives?

Where did all the words go?

2009-12-08T11:19:00.000-08:00

Year and years ago I used to be able to pull words from my gray matter like a magician pulls rabbits out of his hat. Always the perfect word for the situation. In milliseconds I could come up with a razor sharp wit and put verbal bullies in their place. I once had a supervisor in near tears and running to his boss. Mattered not to me as he was a boob and nobody liked him anyway. Needless to say I don't like stupid people especially when my own skin is involved. But, where the hell was I? Oh yea, the loss of mental acuity. After spending 16 years stuffing my brain with information, somewhere along the trip some evil event happens. As if some invisible hole has been drilled somewhere in the back of the skull. Quickly painlessly the hole magically appeared. And you can't even tell it's there. So slowly without notice that mass of facts drips like a Chinese water torture out the back of your head never to return. It's not as if you notice this phenomena being so slow and painless. And it's not like stepping into a room only to realize you forgot why you went there in the first place. It's devilishly worse. Trying to remember an instructor of a few years back even though I've worked with him on numerous jobs and seen him several times since yet there I stand a total blank. Digging deep in the recesses of my mind trying desperately to not look the fool. I'll fake it. You know give that warm and cordial greeting. Great to see you again, haven't seen you in quite some time. Ah, it worked I've fooled him into thinking. But then as you are about to retire for the night and that area between sleep and awake slowly slips away his name comes to you and you rise up from the covers and shout "That's his name! Damn just couldn't think of it"

Buuut, then there's a book or a paper that you know you've read. The cover is part of the room decore you've passed it for years then in a moment of bordom you pick it up open and it's as if someone changed the words. Nothing formilar. Logic dictates that the words are the same but the mind changed. And just as you think it's coming back to you the mind goes on a tangent. You put the book down and wonder why you came in the room in the first place.

My stuff and your s#@t

2009-12-06T11:26:00.000-08:00

Rodger Green got me to thinking about all the stuff we collect. I know I have things in a closet or bin that I haven't even looked at in well over ten years and yet there it will remain until for some reason (usually remodeling) it will get moved or donated or thrown out. I truly believe that we throw out enough junk to start another country. Maybe that would be a good way to get out of Afghanistan. We'll empty out our closets and send them all of our junk. Since they have almost nothing now it would be a windfall for them. In doing so we could quickly Americanize them to our materialistic way of thinking. Imagine them walking around in Nikes carrying ipods. And this would be far cheaper than using drones and expensive military hardware.

I used to have enough room for my stuff until somebody put their s#@t in the way. Now it's a constant task to move or throw things out. The never ending battle against clutter. This is now a never ending battle. A war that can not be won. A quagmire worse than any guerilla war.
And now we come to that time of year when stuff is what it's all about. How much loot did you get from Santa? Maybe I'll just be bad this year. I could use the coal to keep warm.

I'm back did ya miss me?

2009-12-04T18:13:00.001-08:00

And what would Friday be without the Friday pussy.

Kind of feel like that cat. But I see the world didn't blow up yet and things are getting strangly better in an odd way. I must say you can go through news withdrawl. Nice to be out for a while. But as they say the job isn't over until the paperwork is done.
I was the only one to pass the course the first go round. Now I get to be the one pushing the pencil and walking around with my hands in my pocket... there's a nice thought.

Where does the time go?

2009-11-29T16:56:00.000-08:00

In a little less than a month we've had one cop gunned down on Halloween night. Friday a drunk driver ran into a patrol car injuring the officer and today someone guns down four police officers killing them all. I know as the economy gets worse we'll be seeing more situations like this. There's been cuts in mental health and they even wanted to close Western State hospital at one point, one of our local mental institutions. As things get worse people will do very irrational things. One woman just the other week was about to jump from a bridge as she had just lost her home to forclosure and car to repo. She was lucky enough to have a driver on the bridge see the sight and stopped her. I hate to get political about this particular situation but much of this started when Raygun opened the doors to mental hospitals and let most of the inmates out. Just so that he could have his tax cuts. I've seen several of these people on the streets of Seattle when I worked down there and I know it's getting worse.

Update: From what I'm hearing now they have a 'person of interest' A man who just got out of jail this past week known to be paranoid. He owns a pressure washing business but appears to have some serious mental problems. That is if he's the one. But then you know this country you're guilty unless you've got an iron clad alliby. Gee wasn't that what Russia used to be like?

Well that about all I have to say for this week. But I'll be back for the Friday pussy. What would Friday be without the pussys?

Time for the Friday pussy

2009-11-27T15:30:00.001-08:00

I was going to use one of Billy's pussy pics until I found this one. More fitting considering my last post. I'll be out next week for instruction but have no fear I'll be back when I have no class. :-)

Bank failures: Didn't check them this week but as this was a short week with the holiday I don't think there were any. If I get motivated I'll check into business failures. Saw an ad for commercial property auctions. No, not in the market for one just watching the melt down continue.

Call me what?!!

2009-11-27T09:48:00.000-08:00

The shadow knows.

A few of you out there were disheartened that I haven't posted an email address. The story behind that goes back some years when the innertubes were first getting started. I had one of those free internet connections for a while. You know the one. They had disks all over the place with 2000 hours of free connection after which they'd tie you to a subscription for the rest of your life if they could. This was back in the dial up days so getting on line was a hastle. Well one night I sat down to do some late night surfing only to have the connection denied. A call to the customer no service and the nice young geek determined that someone had stolen my password and was using my account. He threw them off and I was able to get back on to discover that it was some young kids from a chatroom that had done the dirty deed. All went well after a change in passwords until about 6 months later the same thing happened. This time customer no service was not as nice. They told me that I would have to wait until the thief was finished using my account. I told them to cancel my account if I couldn't use it. Since that time I've remained pretty much a non person on the net and only give personnal info on very rare occasions. You may contact me by one email account that I keep for such purposes but I'll tell you right now the name given is not me. The address is dsentor yahoo. I'm sure you can figure it out but don't expect any immediate responses as I only check it about once a month. Sorry for any inconvience but there are too many braty little assholes out there who'd be more than happy to throw their latest virus creation on your computer. And since going underground this way I've had no problems of any kind in well over 10 years.

So I remain your friendly enigma.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T23:27:00.000-08:00

The holiday has lost much of it's luster. I think the relatives who used to get along fairly well in my younger years have gotten old and grumpy. You know the 'get off my lawn' attitude. Even that fake sense of decorum is gone so now we pretty much celebrate from the safe distance of our own homes. Such a gathering would not be a pretty picture these days as about half the family are republicans and the other half democrats which doesn't make for happy gatherings as almost everyone in the family is out of work at the moment.

So what's to be thankful for in these trying economic times? I guess I am thankful that I was smart enough to pay off and own my own home. Thankful that I'm not living in a tent at a homeless camp. Thankful that nothing lasts forever and maybe some day things will get better.

So in the true spirit of the holiday season "LET US CONSUME MASS QUANTITIES"!

And how about those indians. They knew how to party.

A thought came to me

2009-11-24T09:44:00.000-08:00

We're slowly becoming part of the Borg or is it the Matrix? I'm not quite sure. Think about it for a sec. How much time do you waste surfing the innertubes with relationships from one end of the country to the other? Or is it world wide now? Like a human lump sitting in a chair staring emotionless at a screen, that window to the outside world. Think were obese now just wait another generation when the spawn are bigger than Jabba the Hut. Then there's Twitter. Sounds like some form of masterbation to me. The teacher caught Johnny twittering in the cloak room. "Johnny cut that out! You want to go blind?" And with the size of phone screens getting smaller he just might.
So here we sit wondering about things and looking for things we wouldn't have thought about in years past. Where does this all get us? Is this just some fools' errand? The new TV of the 21st century. What was once the lure of vast quantities of higher learning now seems to be reduced to a time waste of watching a cat chase a lazer dot on Youtube. You just have to watch this latest video of yet another bumpkin making a fool out of himself as he falls from the roof or drives the family car through the livingroom wall.
Nay this is not life. If I'd have wanted this I would have taken some strong meds and gone back to bed and had weird dreams. Something that even the best writers on TV couldn't have thought of. No. It's time to get up from this chair because for all the rain we've had here I'm liable to start growing moss. Or I could just sit here and listen to my arteries harden between keystrokes. No, better to get up and get moving lest I get blood clots in my legs. But then again there was that blogger I found from outer Sillystan that I've been meaning to get back to.

Oh well see you tomorrow.. same time ... same place.

This one's for Dana

2009-11-23T10:15:00.000-08:00

A man a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He lowered his altitude and spotted a woman in a boat on a lake below him.

"Excuse me, can you help me?” he shouted down to the woman. "I promised a friend I would meet her an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The woman consulted her portable GPS and replied: "You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude at an elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level."

The man rolled his eyes and said, “You must be an Obama Democrat.”

"I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "ask a simple question and you give me this left wing liberal gobbledy gook to show off your college education. I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The woman smiled. "You must be a Republican," she said.

"I am," the man replied. "How did you know?"

"Well, you don't know where you are or where you are going,” the woman said. “You obviously have no qualifications for what you are doing and have risen to your current position because of a large quantity of hot air. You have made a promise you have no idea how to keep. You're in exactly the same position you were in before, but somehow it’s now my fault and you expect me to solve your problem and save your a$$.”

Well the ole man here just turned 5*

2009-11-21T07:32:00.000-08:00

No I won't give my exact age because I've been holding at 39 for many years now and just don't want to think about it anymore. The mind keeps telling me I'm 30 but the body has other ideas. More like 80. Well what do you expect after nearly 20 years of heavy labor? The mind wrote a check and the body cashed it but I think it bounced.

The Friday pussies - this one's for Watertiger

2009-11-20T12:59:00.000-08:00

A funny from the Blog Fodder:
Wife: Whenever I am down in the dumps I buy a new outfit.
Husband: I wondered where you got them.

Must have forgot last week to post the bank failures there were three more last week two in Fla and one in Ca. Nothing so far this week.

Keep the greasy side down... Later...

And now for the contest

2009-11-19T13:08:00.000-08:00

The rules are simple and only one applys - Come up with a good use for Sarah Palin's book 'Going Rogue". Extra points for the most creative ideas. I'll post the best answers and the winner later and as a bonus you get to copy and paste the award to your blog.

Okay pencils down. Looks like we have all entries in and the winner is (drum roll please)

A toss up: S.W. Anderson said...
Glue them together into building blocks, to be used creating shelters for the homeless.
and
Lockwood said...
I'd like to find out how far they'd extend from the Aleutians toward Australia, if you took every copy and laid them side-by-side starting from, oh, maybe a mile offshore.

Some fine use of such wonderful verbage, paper and glue. Now we could find out just how far it is to Australia in book distance or put them to better use to house the homeless.

Misc.

2009-11-19T10:06:00.001-08:00

For all those out there who got their panties in a bunch over Obama bowing here's a shot of Raygun meeting with Al Qaeda before they became that organization and are now our enemies.

--------------------------
U.S. threatens Iran if they don't quit their nuclear program. What are we going to do throw spitballs at them? Our military is stretched to the max and they know it. If we or anyone else attacks they'll start shooting missles at Israel in retaliation.

--------------------------
Health care is slowly moving forward. Normally I wouldn't care that much one way or another but when you're out of work you lose your coverage. A whole lot of us have done just that. And that 46 million figure they talk about with no coverage is bull because every month another couple hundred thousand have lost coverage. When you're on unemployment you can't afford to buy a COBRA. There's a snake that would devour your bank account in short order. I'm still leaning towards a national sales tax to pay to cover everyone. Slap a 4% federal tax on all non food items then you could lower the state sales tax since it would get a bunch of money off the states' back as well as businesses. And this way you don't need any penalties for people who don't sign up. Everybody gets covered and it would keep Medicare and Medicade solvent.

Stay tuned for my Sarah Palin contest (I'm surprised nobody thought of this one sooner)

Sarah's Thankgiving dinner

2009-11-18T09:11:00.000-08:00

Sarah Palin is having a reunion of sorts in Richland, Wa. that's right near the Hanford nuclear reservation. Maybe she can go turkey hunting the night before and bag one of our glowing birds. Easier to hunt at night don't cha know. But Sarah why are you putting on those hipwaders to go hunting?

For a truly funny thanksgiving dinner story pop over to Dcap's for some really good photoshop work. The comments aren't bad either.

Busted!

2009-11-17T08:39:00.000-08:00

Looks like the IRS is going to be flush with cash by Jan 1 if this program keeps going. The Swiss were about to turn over some 4500 names of people who have cash stashed overseas to evade taxes. This is in the billions of dollars. And the republicans keep telling us there isn't enough money for health care. There would be if their buddys didn't have it hidden away. Now I hope they'll go after all the companies that have phoney off shore front companies. You know one small building that houses 23,000 companies. Give me a break. And notice how only one guy went to jail and that was only because he told the SEC he did it. It's like the Wall Street police are too busy eating dougnuts drinking coffee and reading the paper to be bothered. Oh! is something wrong? (as the economy collapses)

The party's over

Hanford cleanup?

2009-11-16T11:11:00.000-08:00

People around here are angry about the delays at the Hanford nuclear reservation. They don't seem to understand the problem. This isn't about digging up a bunch of contaminated soil and moving it somewhere else. This is about merely containing a very large amount of contaminated water, some 80 square miles to be exact. The photo above shows how they used to get rid of radioactive wastes back in the 40s although the photo looks more like the 50s or 60s. They never thought a thing about digging a hole and burying anything contaminated whether it be tools or even an entire truck. Out of sight out of mind was the order of the day. The biggest fear right now is whether the contaminated water will make it's way to the Columbia river if it hasn't already. Clean up? Not going to happen. Containment? Maybe.

Hanford

Friday beaver on hiatus

2009-11-15T09:43:00.000-08:00

As we all know beavers go into hibernation about this time of year so while they're busy getting their dens ready I thought I'd post some pussies instead for your viewing pleasure. Fear not the beavers will be back in the spring.

It's Friday the 13th

2009-11-13T09:13:00.001-08:00

But it has nothing to do with this guy. I never saw why this guy was so scary anyway. Now if you're looking for scary you might try this guy

This would be one Tony Alamo who was sentenced to 175 years for sex crimes with minors. He took on underage girls for his 'wives'.
But enough of the scary stuff. I don't go for all the superstious stuff anyway. As the story goes my one brother was born on Friday the 13th in room 1313 and mom just happened to have 13 cents in her purse or so she said. My brother made it through Vietnam and continued to fly as a pilot for many years and he considers 13 as his lucky number.

Jim over at Major Conflict has a very good article about our current political situation. It is rather long but pretty much sums things up nicely.
Dog Eat Dog

Only Darkblack could do this type of work

2009-11-12T01:16:00.001-08:00

Captioned: I'm ready for my close up Mr. Demint