tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21408797799701021612008-09-04T22:22:20.922+01:00Don't mind me. Just tidying the place up a bit.Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comBlogger85125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-55290303775367849502008-09-04T22:19:00.002+01:002008-09-04T22:22:20.936+01:00

Dave Berry may be a bit of a slow learner. But he's right about most of this. Particularly the last point.

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-69787602029040550472008-08-21T22:29:00.008+01:002008-08-29T02:56:33.055+01:00

The fairies have tiptoed through my garden and left a trail. At least I know why this patch of lawn has been balder than a smeg fridge for the last couple of years. Sadly they are not edible, due to having gills (allegedly). So I have no useful reason for loving them, or for making this post. Living in the suburbs of London, I should probably be giving a shit about my lawn and dealing with

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-17608104910884701282008-08-21T18:08:00.004+01:002008-08-22T16:42:53.486+01:00

Stolen from Photo Basement (I think)

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-44132490016241536222008-08-20T21:15:00.005+01:002008-08-22T16:42:35.473+01:00

I would have done a new blog post this evening. I have photos and everything... But then I was prompted to update my phone software online. Baaaad idea. In fact it was a terrible idea. Two hours later, nokia support won't help me (although after holding for nearly an hour, they told me they might phone me back tomorrow, if I am a good girl). Software update worked fine, according to my PC. It

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-78099784259001421632008-08-15T15:39:00.004+01:002008-08-15T15:43:51.620+01:00

Think this might be the oldest photo I have seen with both myself and Chris in it, although this was still about five years after we actually met for the first time. Obviously, at this stage we were not yet together as Chris was still going out with Julian and I was having a torrid affair with Karen.

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-36717206412836600882008-08-15T15:33:00.003+01:002008-08-15T15:35:39.317+01:00

Thats is all.

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-76277932047402158482008-08-13T00:34:00.009+01:002008-08-14T22:32:53.604+01:00

I finished my last day at work on Friday (woot!) and went for slightly dull drinks with work colleagues and their nylon nails. Proper nylon nails with full pieces of art on the tips. They are lovely girls, but I was still quite scared. I escaped the white wine spritzers at about 8:30 and wandered around wondering what to do with myself. I didn't want to go home. Chris was chilling in preparation

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-88852108513890891672008-08-11T22:58:00.008+01:002008-08-11T23:47:57.366+01:00

Oh look, it's suddenly August. I am really not very good at this blogging thing. But that's probably a good thing for everybody concerned. I feel I have to update to do a quick, boring update before I post. (No idea why, but I thought the whole point of blogging was self indulgence). Lots has happened. I was a recruiter for a bit, then I stopped doing that, now I am going to look after my

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-57164640058999691112008-06-18T21:47:00.000+01:002008-06-18T21:47:35.772+01:00

I was delighted today, to discover there is an Aldi not too far from us. Ahhh, Aldi, very cheap and home of the much coveted Disco biscuit. Mmmm, biscuit, toffee, chocolate, and smarties. More types of evil mono-saccharides than you can even imagine. It's almost an actual disco biscuit. Everything in there is a cheap fake of a well-known brand. They have not-Mars Bars, not-Twixes and even, for

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-44565089572336159372008-06-12T12:57:00.001+01:002008-06-12T12:58:40.249+01:00

This is a blatant moment of showing off. But in the absence of cute babies, like everyone else, to post about, I thought I'd share the lovely wildlife which we have been enjoying in our zone 2 London garden. I find it hard to believe sometimes. This is a just an ordinary city fox, enjoying the favourite spot next to the tree stump. but slightly more impressive is this green woodpecker in

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-73107997123467620682008-05-25T16:12:00.003+01:002008-05-25T16:16:23.969+01:00

Man babies are hilarious. Would love to see submissions from people I know.

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-64124388509552094572008-05-23T13:34:00.002+01:002008-05-23T13:42:37.889+01:00

I was just called by a marketing company in Mumbai. The poor man, who could barely speak english was calling to see if I would like a better mobile phone package. Obviously I didn't, but due to a technical glitch I failed to get cut off when I didn't hang up on him (my preferred technique is to ask them to repeat everything they say and leave them talking to an empty line while I make a cup of

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-47947339047318378342008-05-09T13:31:00.003+01:002008-05-09T13:35:46.184+01:00

It's that time of year when I look at the garden, a lush jungle perfect for nesting birds and complex games of cat chess and try to turn it into somwehere we can sit and drink cava in the sunshine. Mmmm, blissful, the smell of freshly mown grass, lavender and.......oh yes, that'll be a massive fox turd I just mowed over.

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-29987068650638705122008-01-30T14:19:00.000Z2008-01-30T14:43:18.851Z

Having dealt with the aftermath of treading a tiny amount of cat shit into the hallway (it prompted Jah to follow suit in the kitchen in a much more impressive manner), today I finished dealing with decorating the last room in the house. No more magnolia woodchip left at this address, oh yes! I thought it looked quite good. But now the room is painted I noticed that the windows needed just a

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-81277523097133417232008-01-22T09:06:00.000Z2008-01-22T09:14:30.662Z

If you are going to watch The Sixth Sense before bed, or any other film where madmen break into houses and kill people. Make sure you have a word with the cat first to arrange that she will not spend all night skittering up and down the stairs after imaginary rodents and knocking over the kitchen chairs.

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-11408013918660824162008-01-18T14:50:00.000Z2008-01-18T15:56:11.471Z

There be news around these parts. Very boring news about home decorating. lucky you!I was made redundant just before Christmas, which was extremely generous of them in terms of timing. But actually no bad thing. Work had been making me miserable for a while, but with a 3 month notice period I wasn't sure whether I wanted to risk resigning with no job to go to. They've paid me off a little, so all

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-28880369845872511652007-12-18T13:30:00.000Z2007-12-18T13:33:17.774Z

I'd like to see Jah take this on. 1.4 kg Giant Mallomys rat found in New Guinea. I reckon there are some round London compost heaps that are going to be that big by Christmas though.

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-82498833527065077722007-11-27T17:54:00.000Z2007-11-27T18:00:22.956Z

Look what you can do with Diet Coke and mentos if you have too much time on your hands. I think they should install this performance piece in the Turbine Hall at the Tate Modern. It does rock.

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-58390268459380747792007-11-21T14:04:00.000Z2007-11-21T14:15:55.595Z

have turned a dockside crane into a hotel room. Complete with flat screen TV, shower and fridge and working control cab to spin the whole thing round. I think I would vomit if I had to sleep there. Peronally, I'm much more interested in sleeping inside a giant drainage pipe or a wooden dog......perhaps we should start making money by converting my knackered VW Golf?

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-62045151274259333642007-10-11T19:49:00.000+01:002007-10-11T20:11:55.666+01:00

For those that missed the Metro and The Sun today. (Impossible I know) The Super Groom 2007 contest. Next week, Helena discovers an invention called the wheel and keeps you all up to date. Today I think have an excuse. Not only have I got a horrible cold, but I went to British Military Fitness yesterday. I reckon I was reasonably fit until last November, but this year I have been

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-90800282369666693962007-10-09T14:56:00.000+01:002007-10-09T15:04:33.139+01:00

I imagine that, as usual, I am behind and everyone else saw this on metafilter already. I know it's not big and it's definitely not clever but I am LMAO at Lolcat Bible. & Ceiling Cat sayz, i can has light? and & light wuz.

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-20819544801603269162007-10-06T20:49:00.000+01:002007-10-06T22:30:51.099+01:00

Ooops. I have been so slack about blogging I had forgotten my password. I even made Chris do the post on Sophie and Martin's rather fabulous wedding because I couldn't be arsed. It was great though. I got to sit in hot tub in a field in Wales and watch the sun come up while being very silly with my truly magnificent friends all weekend. Some interesting things have happened here, I suppose, if

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-3194231247003974312007-09-03T09:29:00.000+01:002007-09-07T09:11:49.625+01:00

Cans of beer - 48 Bottles of wine - 16 (assorted) Bottles of cava - 4 Boxes of wine - 2 (one white one red) Magnum of champagne - 1 (half of which I threw on the grass) Chickens - several (in Jerk sauce) Lamb - most of one Number of babies - 2 Cows - a small part of a cow (in burger form) Pigs - several (in sausage form) Tofu - a whole herd of tofu (and one Linda McCartney) People

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-47581557685982723862007-08-30T16:41:00.000+01:002007-08-30T21:09:18.640+01:00

On Wednesday I turned 30 and became officially the most spoilt girl in the world. Chris and I had a great meal planned at vegetarian restaurant The Gate and having had a shit day at work I was really looking forward to it. But then I got a phone call at 6pm asking me to go to Berners St, where I was met on the street corner by Chris and whisked to the Sanderson hotel ("I thought you'd like it.

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2140879779970102161.post-79545966653200516872007-08-26T20:55:00.000+01:002007-08-26T20:57:21.586+01:00

It clearly takes a lot of concentration to maintain that fixed grin.

Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00775427235708836778noreply@blogger.com