The Chronicles of the Introverted Boi!!!

How does it feel to be 21?

2006-04-17T01:30:00.000-04:00

I think that'd rather be asked in another way! How does it feel to turn another age? Well I havent noticed what difference it makes to turn another age while growing up to this age of mine. What does a kid like me know? Every thing at my disposal, what do I know about the world

Things took a turn around after I turned 20; I realized how to live in my own world. Living behind someone's shadow doesn’t just cut it, could be worse if there are so many factors you are being sentimental about, the primary is the sexual orientation. Their actions couldn’t have been faulted if it was based on the moral value of the conservative society we are from, but it’s on hypocrisy and gossip. The emotional state of the "mum's boy" is so fragile that he has care about what they say and think, just to fit in with them and have less to talk about. That was then; I got to know how to stand up for myself.

I was very depressed on my birthday, for real I was really depressed, trying to ponder over my life and see what I have achieved so far, all I could comprehend is this same old mummy's boy. I realized its time to move forward, take charge. I am an adult now; I have to take charge, taking charge of everything I mean. Everything concerning my life is now in my hands. My education, which subsequently leads to my career, my lifestyle, my finance. Everything concerning my life is now at my discretion, I dont have to take the back seat and gulp every word you tell me on how to live my life. Now let me take control for once and forever. I might take suggestions and advice but that doesn’t give it a shot that I am going to make good use of it, because this is about ME and MY LIFE. It’s my world NOW.

Off to a rocky start though, but I am optimistic! I can make decisions concerning me; I had to reason and see what makes a healthy lifestyle. I laid down criteria and I follow it, not for anyone but solely for me. Whoever I lay with doesn’t have to be your problem, whatever institution or degree I am taking shouldn’t be such a burden for you, I guess. I think I can control my life and its now or never, I need to take the right course, the rightful path that I decided to tread upon; with God, I will be fine.

I see a light at the end of the tunnel!

2006-02-25T19:48:00.000-05:00

To be attacked means to have our survival threatened. Thus, we might chose between surrender, withdrawal, or counterattack. When we feel attacked (criticized or judged) by others in conversation, we often move into that same kind of survival mentality and automatically defend ourselves. When we defend against criticism, we give more power to the criticism and the person dishing it out than is warranted.

While we might need to set some limits if someone is verbally abusive, I think we often ward off criticism far too soon, discarding anything that is valid, as well as what is invalid. The person's words may hurt, but they will hurt less, I think, if we ask questions, decide which pieces we agree with (if any) and which ones we don't agree with. We can just think about it, we don't have to fight it as if we were being attacked with a lethal weapon. I watch people's self-esteem increase simply from becoming less defensive in the face of criticism and judgement. Besides, we may find a priceless gem in with some junk.
You always want to leave a good impression behind you. But we have to put somethings into play ; Ask Questions; Active listening; Give your side; Accept; Reject; Ignore.

Even if you believe the criticism is inaccurate or unfair, delay reacting defensively. State that you're confused by the criticism (if this is true) and that you'd like to understand it better.
Then ask questions regarding the specifics of the criticism. Try to honestly understand what your critic is talking about.

For most of us, responding to criticism without defending our selves has meant being "defenseless," caving in, losing face, feeling bad about ourselves. On the other hand, responding defensively has meant being harsh, closed, shutting others out. This is a no-win choice. We look bad and undermine our own self esteem either way. If we can learn to respond to criticism with true non-defensive openness and clarity, asking questions, stating our position, and setting limits when needed, we can build our own wisdom and garner the respect of both the children and adults in our lives

2006-02-13T00:08:00.000-05:00

Innocence can be referred to as a state of unknowing, where one's experience is lesser, in either a relative view to social peers, or by an absolute comparison to more common normative scale. Sometimes we hold ourselves in high esteem, the morale of our dignity is well magnified, that we are afraid of a tainted image.
We tend to analyze our values and self-dignity in comparison to what could defile the morale and quality of well-being we have set aside. We seem not to have control on some emotions that comes along at some point, not because we are empowered, nor overwhelmed by the state we are subjected to, but we seem to be weak in the spirit. The self-controlling energy that seems to go by the values and norms we have set aside seems to be weakened by the emotions. In addition, this seems to happen by the state of the mind not being on the same par with our body, some external burden, which seems to be greater than what we can bear at that moment seems to be working in place. Together we tend to go down the trail of disappointment, which subsequent result after we get together with the state of our well-being; we realized we have lost our innocence.
Infatuation and Lust plays a major role in the defilement of our sexual well-being. I tend to hold myself in high-esteem, no sexual intercourse with a complete stranger, on internet hook-ups. Being a reclusive state and not really interacting with people, tend to work with boredom and loneliness, which wont probably have a good effect on a sexually active young male. When the mind is tramped with such feelings and you just want to relieve yourself of the sexual tension (when celibacy is not in place), the next available option will sure be taken on, the experience might worth it, and it might not, but when you reconcile with your body and spirit, you tend to realize the self-esteem is being diminished.
My normal reaction is to start treading on the path of regret, only if its that bad and I couldn’t just take the thought of disappointment away from when I remember what happened, worse scenario when I cant believe that can happen to me in any situation. The subsequent feelings will probably take its toll on me. Getting the realization that some things have to happen, there has to be an adventure for a hale and hearty young man, but we want to relate with something we are proud of, but something we are probably ashamed of will sure show up. Trying to learn from the mistake seems to be the next option for me and I will probably try to check what’s to do and make sure I dont fall down that pit anymore, because it wont build up the dignity, with time it might but the experience will surely haunt you only if you let it.
Its my past I have to let go. Its easier to let go provided the circumstance fits well with your persona but what happened seems to just be right on your classification of defilement. Most times you really cant help the feelings, cant just help what happened, forget the past because you cant change it. That’s you, that’s what makes you unique, hopefully the situation wont just haunt you still..

Well, we cant change our past, we just need to reconcile with ourselves and make sure falling into that same ditch doesnt seem possible anymore. Dont let out all secret about you to your prospective partner. Live life as is, and have fun!!!

Deadly strain bird flu in Africa(Nigeria)

2006-02-08T21:12:00.000-05:00

The dreaded H5N1 bird flu that had been anticipated on not getting into African countries have been found in Northern Nigerian state of Kaduna, neighbouring state Kano have reported death of several birds. It amazes me on how Nigerian authorities put their negligent attitude to place in every important and sensitive issues that pertains to the citizens and could better their lives. Due to lack of proper technological resources needed in the laboratories to confirm what disease it was, the Nigerian government were confident to declare it as NewCastle disease, a common disease with poultries.
The World Health Organisation (OIE) reported that "Although all evidence to date indicates that the virus does not spread easily from birds to humans, careful monitoring of the situation is warranted".
A great decline will happen to the Nigerian growing poultry industry. My family happened to be unfortunate in this situation. But if fast action could be embarked on by the Nigerian Health authorities to check the spread of this menace, some Nigerians could be saved a great bunch of money.

Unfortunately in a country like Nigeria, money earmarked for such event will be "allocated" to some off-shore accounts of selfish greedy politicians that rules the country. But this tragedy is not far from home of the Nigerian president himself, since he happens to boast at one point, being the biggest poultry farmer in Nigeria. We expect swift reactions to the problem before it escalates into spreading into humans.
Some 46,000 birds have been reported dead from the H5N1 virus. In Nigeria, as in other parts of Africa, most village households maintain free-ranging flocks of poultry as a source of income and food.

Hopefully the government of Nigeria will checkmate the situation before it grows out of hand and it starts affecting the poor citizens, most especially people from the Northern part of the country.

2006-02-07T15:50:00.000-05:00

Nairaland!!!!

Appreciating the brain behind this wonderful project for a young Nigerian man, could only be acknowledged by taking a visit to the site. Been on the internet for like forever and been to few Nigerian-oriented sites, even though, every site seems to be good in their own way, but Seun Osewa(webmaster) could only be praised for the brain behind the wonderful job and seems to me like he's the only one handling it. Been in Nigeria shouldnt be a barrier in making your impact known, he proved it with great gusto.

To my amazement when writing this blog, I was just browsing through the "Wikipedia" online encyclopedia, the almighty NAIRALAND's 1000 Naira thread, is the link to the encyclopedia's external source for its information. Even though the site seems to have the Nigerian currency (naira) as the name of the domain, I wasnt so surprised to see that the site is not so Nigerian. The reason is well-known to the webmaster, but some Nigerian flava is needed in this great Nigerian online forum. Some Nigerian traits like dissing, redirecting from the topic of the thread in its entirety and lack of respect in the name of freedom of speech that is well associated with Nigerians couldnt be found wanting on there.

The profusion of intellectually challenging conversations cant stop you from going back to read replies, even when you dont have the interest of contributing, it will worth your while to take a shot at replies of Nferyn, Ijebuman, Dejiolowe, Seun (just to mention a few). Their sense of reasoning could only be paralled with the quality of threads they dare to give their input on. While some threads are pretty interesting and gives you the urge to take part, some are just plain annoying, you cant help but ignore the thread.

But what keeps you coming to the site? Varieties of topics to talk about, ranging from Entertainments, Technology, Fashion, Sports, Relationships, wont sure be bore you when reading. Having the young* generation at its beck makes the site very interesting to visit and just lay back and read. Post from "hot-angel", "nike4luv", "WesleyanA", sure has an impact on lots of the members, their post making 30% of the whole forum sure has some say on their impact on the site.

The site is a pretty great place so far, and there's always room for advancement, take a trip down there sometimes when you have some time to while away. It will worth your while. I bet yah!!
Hmm...strictly good command of the ENGLISH language is allowed by the administrator, so non-Nigerian is sure at home and Nigerians, pidgin is not allowed!!!

PS: The writer's views doesnot in anyway have the consent of the administrator, individuals mentioned are just admired by the writer!!

2006-01-30T17:55:00.000-05:00

Trying to comment about my recluse attitude about not communicating like before?
What world are you living in when you expect constant communication from someone when it was supposed to be a 2-way thing?
I never knew phone calls were not supposed to cease when there was no response nor acknowledgement from the previous calls
Sending emails which are ought to be replied never got any reply?
Stepping out of our shells and see where we got the respect is something we are all working towards.
Receving the phone calls and emails were so good to you that when it stopped ur selfish self had to complain they stopped coming maybe you are not feeling the relationship anymore?
I thought relationship was about 2-way communication but when one person keeps doing it, they wont feel appreciated, putting you in your place doesnt give you the audacity to act like a snitch.
Sometimes we feel like we can do it all by ourself, we dont know who is out there that is so paranoid about crowding. The hostile attitude you are putting up can as well match well with someone that is smothered with your hositility as well, putting up a self-defence just shows the level of your cowardice and how well you cant take criticism.
Before jumping into rash conclusions/judgements, looking back on how grounded we are, sometimes does matter.

2006-01-29T01:17:00.000-05:00

Am chatting at a Nigerian chatroom called onlinenigeria.com, oh my oh my thats some weird place to go while away time, you get to know how funny Nigerians can be and how irresponsible they can be. They tend to be some set of intelligent people and got some brilliant traits in them but they are the definition of nuisance. Too bad an average Nigerian that comes in there cant hold a good conversation, but the level of interaction you give them brings out their real self. I tend to go there and have fun and most times not for meeting people because Nigerians are just so hypocritcal of everything, dont wanna divulge personal information and they take it against you. But its a place that you can get addicted to and nice to check up on sometimes.....

2006-01-24T00:22:00.000-05:00

My life is not deserted, neither it’s lonely but it seems to be different from the average. Sometimes I can feel the love all around me, and sometimes I just want to have some resentment feelings, but it might probably be the product of the obnoxious state that I have been in which in one way or the other might have disgusted some other party which causes condemnation sort of. The fun which I derive from the pleasure of being obnoxious and probably being loud is just for the limited time, with time being everything will elapse and you find yourself in a position you will feel maybe you are being avoided like a plague or something.

However, when the feelings of rejection take over you, the only way you can pull it through is your self-conscience. Being positive is being independent of changing circumstances, circumstances cannot be changed just like that without you trying to get to understand the real you. Getting to understand you, shouldn’t be because of some sort of huff or looking at yourself in a sort of mediocre way. Nope you are not getting in touch with your real self in true genuinely. You are just trying to respond to criticism that favors the critics, and that will probably end up in a negative influence for you. Nevertheless, a positive mind is always active and ever going, optimistic, want to take control of the situation and make sure you don’t go down the path that’s bringing you the poor being state of mind that you are in now. Respond to criticism in a positive way, unbiased way you know can only influence your life positively the way you see it. In addition, you need to get the real knowledge about what it entails, if the outcome of it does worth your while. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel at all? You don’t want to fulfil someone's desires, be it in anyway, negatively or positively, at your own expense. You want to be your greatest motivation yourself, you don’t care about what people say provided the actions you are taking is not going to haunt you or dent your image at the end of the day. Make the decisions, bring up the constructive ideas you have in you, the thoughts you have that might impact people's lives, most especially yourself, thoughts that will impart grace to people's lives. Conceive the idea, reconstruct it, outline the outcome of it, and see if it comes in your favor, provided it’s not going to hurt your neighbor. We can’t try to be Jesus every time but we want to keep the law of Karma in heart, what goes around comes back around. That should be effective in what we do.

Getting to know my real self was good for me, I passed through some stage in my life and all I could do is thank God and appreciate all His goodness in my life. Though we pray and sometimes we don’t get to see the results of our prayer as fast as we want, while we were focusing on that on particular interest, some other things are working in place for us. In matter of time all what we are asking for is sure going to fall in place, because all things work together for them that love God.