Scattered

2008-06-15T17:44:00.004-05:00

There are a lot of things going on in my life right now and I'm feeling scattered. For someone who values her quiet time and protects it, I haven't had much of it lately. Back over the Memorial Day weekend my 18 year old sister came to live with me. It is very interesting living with her especially in a one bedroom apartment. This is the first time we have lived with each other. With a 20 year age difference I had moved out before she moved in with my parents, so other than the occasional Christmas and spring breaks we haven't really spent a lot of time together. She has been drifting in and out of my apartment since January and has finally decided to stick or at least so it seems. And while I want to do whatever I can to help her it has been and continues to be a challenge living with someone so young, who has a different outlook on life. She is all about having the social stuff and while I enjoy hanging out with my friends I've gone through my "wild" days of drinking, partying and staying out all night. My wild nights now a days include playing cards and board games with my friends or dinner and a movie with my boyfriend and home in bed by midnight at the latest. I love my sister and I want to do what's best but sometimes I feel so inept in guiding her, in helping her to grow as a person... I feel like the role of parent has been thrust upon me... I never desired to be a parent and find myself ill equipped to handle this role the Lord has given me. I pray that the Lord will give me the strength to guide this young soul, the patience to handle whatever challenges come and the words to speak when needed.

When I sat down to write this, this is not what I had in mind to write about... but these are the words that came out... Only time will tell...Only time will tell what will come and years from now when I look back on this time I hope and pray that I have done my job well.

Wishes made....

2008-06-15T14:25:00.002-05:00

Wishes made....

By blowing petals off a flower,

By blowing out all the candles,

Or perhaps a wish upon a falling star.
Wishes made in the bright spring light,

or in the lingering darkness of the night.

Wishes made in childhood.

Wishes made with love so bright.

Wishes made with hearts so frail.

Fade as I grow,

Into adulthood so fair.
I wish I may,

I wish I might,

Have this wish I wish tonight...

Wishes made....

Wither and die,

consumed this day,

as I begin to see.

Hopes and dreams once so bright,

hidden now,

behind....

stacks of bills and,

unkind words.

Until I no longer wish,

to hope or dream,

but shuffle daily through,

With eyes downcast,

And shoulders bent,

With a sigh I linger on.

One day,

I see,

The smile upon another's face,

A small child blows upon the petals of a flower,

Makes a wish,

And reminds me of a time,

When I did the same,

Lights a fire within,

To hope,

To dream,

To wish,

Once again.

K. Teale 6/10/2008

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Random Ramblings

Scattered

Wishes made....