Diary of an Empowered Vixen

Moving

2006-08-20T01:15:00.000-04:00

Like bi blogger its been fun but I am going home to www.sallyglass.com

i am bi

mall

2006-08-17T15:16:00.000-04:00

Mary alice like is thankfilly going to live like after they wiped the blood and mustard and feathirs off her she like only had a few scratchis and like so non of the puffins that attacked her at the zoo had to be put to sleep.

Like today me and mary aloice went to the mall to look for close for school which suckily starts in like a few weeks and they didt have much so we decided that we were going to go to the store that sells catolic grrrl school youniforms and like hack them up cause like thats what Courtney would do. so like we ran into this bitche from school we hate like Rachel and she started making fun of the fact that one of my legs is whiter than the other from that damn cast. like she should talk she tans so much she looks like a rotisiree chiken so Rachel was like, oh sally like nice leg I bet the corps misses it and I was like, oh Rachel nice tan I didn’t know you were a day laborer! she got pissed and like tried to attack me but I slapped her in the face with my saltid pretzel and me and mary alice took off running and laughing. Rachel is such a whore I am bi

xoxo

Sally Glass

jonebent

2006-08-16T19:12:00.000-04:00

oh god glob,

like i just saw on the news that they caught some fey ray who like clames he killed sassy jonbinay by accident which means my helmit head plastic face nemisiss nancy grace is going to be spun like a top by the end of the week.

like poor jonbenit they keep showing her on the news in all that old beuty pajint footage where she is dancing around to that van halen song about the teacher and like its so unimpowered to think that like some gay man killed her like i thought the fruitopians were on our side????!!!! i guess grrrlz arent safe from anyone anymore.

but back to stupid nancy grace. she is going to be angrier than tori spelling minus her inhgeritance! like not only does she get to talk about jonebintetstnjtet again for weeks at a time but she also gets to talk about bankock tyeland which is the kiddie porn capiltal of the world! and knowing nacny, i bet she'll even find a way to blame the whole thing on jacko while making an exampile out of elizaibth smart.

if there was such a thing as justice someone would tie up nancy grace drag her out to the woods where the only sound she could experience was that horrible voice she hass! but the poor woodland animals would have to put up with her like i can here her now...'those poor, poor, animals....victimized by the changing of the seesons, how unjust it is...for those tiny, tiny chipmunks to have to hide in a hole for 6 months to escape the wrath of muther nachire...' shut up already nancy!

like poor patsy ramsey probably threw in the towil because she couldnt stand peeople like nancy grace making a carreer out of her dread daughtir and othir victomized people.

i am bi sally glass

pale

2006-08-15T12:05:00.000-04:00

Hi blig,

After being atackid by the puffins at the zoo I think Mary Alice is going to live after all. Like she was depresid because she gained wait after 3 weeks on the Kristie Aley diet and was looking more like a before than an after so her parents took her to the zoo to cheer her up. She was trying to feed her hotdog bun to the puffins and like she got too close and fell into there pen and like they swarmed her for the roll and by the time the xoo keeper got her out she was covered in mustard and feathers and blood. I mean like I couldint make this shit up if I tried.

Like I was going to say yesterday I finilly got the cast takin off my gimpy leg and like now my fixed leg is whiter than the other and like I didn’t think that was possible because I don’t go in the sun because the sun is mother nachirs death ray! So I think I have to cvs reade and get some tan in a tube and put it on my new leg and wash it off quick and see what happins either that or wear cordiroys for the rest of the summer I am bi.

xxx

Sally glass

puffins

2006-08-14T13:55:00.000-04:00

like bllog,

i was going to spenmd my day righting about how sassy it is to finally have my plaster peg leg removed but like i have to go to the hospictiple to see mary alice cause she went to the zoo today and was vishisly attackid by puffins. what the f?

i am bi

xxx

sally glass

bee

2006-08-13T17:29:00.000-04:00

like hi bloo,

have you noticed that like the nasonex bee went from speaking french to speeking spanish? like im am so confused who tot him to speek in the first place? i am bi

xxx

sally glass

cross

2006-08-10T22:58:00.000-04:00

like FYI blog

since i am FYNALLY geting my cast taken off tomorow i drew this sassy photo renactmint of my esther disco cross that i made you know the one i fell off of and startid all this brokin leg businis.

of cours i am not as empowred as esther because the stupid pope hasnt kicked me out of catholosissm yet and like i dont know why, like im 15 im pregnint i smoke and i have been on a meth diet to lose weight like what else do i need to do??? obveeously finagling liitle boys doesnt get you kicked out of church like they give promotions for that! so like im clueless...maybee i need stigmata...i am bi

xxx

sally glass

myspoace

2006-08-10T16:49:00.000-04:00

deear diargy,

some lame rigot grrrl just sent me a nasty myspcace mail saying that just because im pregnint doesnt make me a feminist...like what the f does that meen??? so i called her fat.

so like after that nonsince i started seeing these grosse ads on myspace and like i guess if you say your bi in your profile myspace must think that all you want to see is sex ads and like these. i think they are so gross.

like isnt he a little to young to be dating??? are like nambla and alamo in cahoots or something eeew

and like this!

lesbeein peeps? is this what bi grrrlz have been reduced too?

it's no wondir that so many sex fiend killers are stalking grrrlz on myspace i mean look at the ads they have the promote pedofeelia and beastyality! womern and sheep are never safe from the patricle dominaited society!

i am bi

xxx

sally glass

crontey

2006-08-10T11:56:00.000-04:00

like hi blg,

like i found the sassyest video of Courtyn today on boobtube like its from 2004 when she was at her peek of sassyness and she is singing my fav sone 'but julian im a little bit older than you'

and like she has the best job in the whole world! i meen to be a singer that doesnt sing like she just gasps for air inbetween halls off her cigarete and lines of coke and she doesnt even bother playing guitar anymore and she gets to be skinny all the time like thats awesome ia mn bi.

watch crotney:

xxx

sally glass

qvc

2006-08-09T16:05:00.000-04:00

deer blogg

im realy bored today and found myself waching about 2 hours of tonee poneeys and wigs on qvc and thank god they started hawking beyuty creems becuases i almost bough myself about 10 pounds of fake hair.

so like i desided to fuck with the operatirs and like so i kept telling them i wanted the face cream that was made from stem sells and they hung up on me. i had even less luck when i askid for the 'sweetnights semen cream' for your face. the lady was like what! and i said, you know, its like a fashil...but a fashil. my humor was lost on her i am bi.

xxx

sally glass

brintney

2006-08-09T09:25:00.000-04:00

like blog

what the fuck is up with brintye speers? i found this videeo of her on boob tube and shes abveeously bombed and like she keeps burping and wants to time travel. see, thats like what happens when you hang out with esther like i think she rapped too much of that kabala red string around britneys neck and cut of circilition! so sad i am bi

xxx

sally glass

view

2006-08-06T11:51:00.000-04:00

hi blogdiery,

after waching the view i desided that the best thing for me to do was to chew the cast off my leg and try to escape netwirk telivisojn in particular morning telivison. like barbira walters started talking about the fantasticle fetus and plan b pills and got one of the other chickens on her show upset. the other chicken launched into a pro fetus rant (aparentuly she has never sat next to a kid in a restiraunt) and BW nearly had to bitch slap her in front of lisa lobes.

i am bi xxx sally glass

tapewirm

2006-08-05T21:35:00.000-04:00

like hi blog

so like i knowe you have been wondring like wheres sally been well i like got my computir taking away because my mom cauhgt me buying tapewurms online. like i know, why would someone as sassy as sally need to buy tape wirms online you ask.

since i broke my leg and have been forcied to do nothing but lie in bed and watch that angry boney transexuil jancee dickins model agincy show like i have been geting fat so i tried not eating but that didnt work so i went online to get some fen pen or efidrine but then i found a sassy site where you could by tapewurm pills and they eat you from the inside out and you lose wait! thats the most empowerid thing i have hurd of since paris helton stopid speeking to the press!

like my mom came home and went to get the mail and like when she pulled her hand out of the mil box she was covered with tape werms cause i geuss they escaped their pill to eerly or something so she took away my laptop, my treo and anything that gave off an electrigal signil so i couldnt comunicate with the outsde world which is fine cause the world is about to come to end end anyway from what sexy andison coper sayss on cnn even thouh hes old.

i am bi

xxx sally glass

grace

2006-07-22T09:34:00.000-04:00

like der blog,

like why didnt i think of this before !when my leg is al better i need to get kidnapped so i can go on nacy graces sshow so i can fuck with her like elizabeth smart! like i read online that exliabith got kidnapped on porpus so she could go on nancys show and throw her shade like how empowered! i am bi so wache:

xxx sally glass

hot

2006-06-21T08:01:00.000-04:00

hi bloggg,

so like i found some old pain pills my doctir gave me stashed away in my hello kitty perse so i took a bunch yestirday afternoon and slept until like 5 this morning and like i feel relly good now!

like i finally got a chanse to watch the new epasodes of the simple life that i have been teevohohing and like this new seesin totally sucks. like i guess paris and nicole arent friends anymore because paris is a cokewhore and like nicole has had some ireversable stomach stapling surjiry so nicole cant gain weight and has to work at a nutrishinist so like she cant party with paris so paris dumped her. just as well beecause all paris does is get drunk with her boyfriend who looks like a bloated floating corpse and they call linsee lohan 'fire crotch' on TV...nicol...your not missing much.

so since the bitches arent friends they have to film all their scenes sepritely and like it s not as funny plus the whole thing has become a formyula like you know paris is going to look bored and like nicole blurts out something about handjobs and tinkerboots ran away i think...lucky her.

so now i need a new fav show to watch. i try to wach cnn sometimes so i can know what shit is going down around the world but the news people are all so fat and ugly.

i ma bi

xxx sally glass

pirljam

2006-06-19T01:20:00.000-04:00

der blog,

like i just saw a comershil with eddie vedder i think he was promoting his new keewee album and like he was inna resteront and he was ordering a roasst duck with mango salsa but like most SNL skits, i dont get the joke

iam bi

xxx sally glass

toxic

2006-06-17T00:43:00.000-04:00

hi thre blog,

like i was watching empowered brittney speers last night on tv being intervieewed by that balding good morning man and like she is the new crotney love like she is puffy, has bad bleached hair, chunks of mascarra falling off her eyes, crys a lot on tv, weers babydoll dreses and takes horrible care of her baby. how sassy!

its too bad she like keeps getting knockd up by that highschool janiter.

i am bi

xxx sally glass

AFI

2006-06-09T18:12:00.000-04:00

like hii there blog

so blog i dont know if you noticed but there is a weird alt rock industrial movememnt going on that is totally run by young fruity liza lovin queens and its called A Fruity Insurgense or AFI for short. like mary alice brought me some magazeenes today that she stole from barns and nobils these music magazines are full of them!

like the cult of AFI was started by head spookstress called Davey hAvok and like he is the king/queen bee and you can tell cause he looks like liza mineli. he has an interveew in roling stone and he says he never drinks. maybe not alchohol but the bitch is swiggin something hes like super haggard for "30" (sarchasim requires punctuashin). so king/queen bee has a head like prisila queen of the desert and a bloated gas station attandent type body with lots of bad tattoos. then i realised its all making sense!

good charlet! the inseschoous benji and... the other one... who are always making faces like they just shit their dypers, THEY have prisilla head too, AND they have LOTS of bad tatoos AND they dress like 16 yearolds even though they are "30" too!

then there is the roatating bunch of fruits known as marilyn manson and aparently marilyns house is the house for waywird musicians cause every new video there like new band members and they are all part of the AFI cult too! prisilla head, bloated bodies and bad tattoos...and there "30"!!!

exibit A: king/queen Liza aka Davey hAvok

exbet B: insestuos drone benji madden

like all of these guys are so in the closit and you KNOW they really want to sing i am what i am but like their drinking buddies would kick their ass so they are like, ok, how can i be true to myself and NOT get an ass kicking oh ill wear makeup but only black makeup and like start a cult where jesus and mary are elton and liza and i can recrute other fruits into the cult by way of bad tattoos and non age appropreeate fashin until the day comes where we have enuff members we can all come out of the AFI closet at once and give middle america a colective heart atack!

nevermind all this 666 business the mark of the beast is 30!

i am bi

xxx

sally glass

jeenyus

2006-06-08T20:33:00.000-04:00

like hi ther deer blig,

like i got the sassiest complimint from one of my lame teachirs today like mary alice was picking up my stupid at home work and like when she got to the hall she dropid everything cause she thought she saw a french fry and like she overherd the teacher say to the otherone that 'sally glass is a jeanyus trapd in an idyots body' like how empowered!

so like my lame homework is about the revolushonary war and like that sucks who cares so i am going to make up my own empowered version and show them just what a idyot i am i am bi

xxx

sally glass

voge

2006-06-06T09:59:00.000-04:00

hiblog,

like so i desidid that like im am gong to spend the daytoday downlodeing music online and like befour you like get on your hi horss about how its bad and you arre stealing money from the artists let me say like that like the its the record compinys fault because they have comodifyed music so much by making it esily availabile on your cell phone, your plam plot, your mp3 player, your microwave that people dont apreciate the value anymore its like what does sally want for lunch, hmm a veggie burger oh and give me some gwen stefanni with my order, i mean missing persons, i mean i cant tell them apart like the name brand kechip and the store brand ketchip. it's all sodium anyway.

so like i just donsloded esther's Immaculit Box because its so retro and like i just realised i was a fetus when it came out but like its sassy even if it is so old and like the sassiest song on the is Voge and esther is like it doesn't matter if youre a sassy tranny hooker or a jersey girl because on the dancefloor you can be both, like mariah carey.

striking resemblance!
i love esther even if it is her fault for giving me the idea for a sassy disko cross which made me brake my leg but i look on the brite side like think of all the free time i have now to open up to you deer blog like you are going to love me so much by the time i am heeled that you will be bi too!

xxx i am bi
sally glass

pionneres

2006-06-04T13:15:00.000-04:00

dear driarty,

like i just saw the new video by dixie chocks and its sassy cause its made by the same lady who made cRotney's miss world video and like they are sassy cause they told the lame presdent to basicly fuck off and they got shit for it but like that was forever ago in 2003 or someting and like it wasnt cool to bash the predient then like even esther censored her american life video so she wouldnt get dixie chocked and like her album stunk anyway

like now everyoneandtheirmotherr bashes bush so like the dickie chocks are like pionerrs and like i think they should be riggot grrrls and i bet they are bi i am bi

xxx sally glass

applefrydays

2006-06-03T15:25:00.000-04:00

like hi de blog,

liike more pain meds and more tv

and like i just saw the grossest commeshill for apple fridays that lame chane restrint and like these dorks are singing mack the knife while showing extremee close ups of cuts of beef and chickin... now am like i the onlyone who thinks that a song about prostitoots being hacked up should not be sung with rare meat visuils???

whats wrong with poeple?

xxxiambi
sally glasss

fruuts

2006-06-03T14:52:00.000-04:00

deer bloog,

like tv isnt much better on the weekends like i was just waching this queer eye for strate guys and like what a lame show like who finds them cool anyway, old womin? theyre such dorks.

like their message is that good fruits make strate people look good make strate people have good conversaions make strate people have nice homes so they can get married and have nice strate lives blah blah blah but at the end of the day strate people dont want the frutes getting married or having the nice lives they give others. excuse you rude!

on the other hand these queer eyes are toalily selling out gay people. like they have done to gay people what like pariss and nicole have done to young women.

xxx

sally glass

iam bi

god

2006-06-02T19:26:00.000-04:00

oh like full time hater of all pat roberstson just had his jet crash. guess god hates him too i am bi

sally glass

lesbeins!

2006-06-02T17:06:00.000-04:00

like dear bloog i love pain medickashin

like tv is really weird like i have not watched it in so long because up until i broke this stupid leg i had a sassy life like there is so much crap on tv like dont even tell me that juge joe brown and the poples court jug are real juges oh and someone needs to tell her shes a 50 year old white woman and to stop swiveling her neck and over using the wrd sister like shes a fuckng footlocker employe.

but i did see this sassy show on empty vee abut this lesbien couple one is ashely a failed folk singer and she married her girlfriend and live in a mobile home with their mother and its very emporwded to have a grrrl show like that on tv. i am bi

sally