NFHell

Updates...

2008-11-18T23:51:00.002-08:00

Sorry the posts haven't been as regular this week. There's something big in the works, though, and you'll probably know by Thanksgiving.

Entourage Quotes: Season 5, Episode 11

2008-11-18T23:49:00.001-08:00

"I got nowhere to go, Jaime. In fact, I'll move in if you want me to!"
-Turtle, to Jamie-Lynn Sigler

Turtle: You wanna hide me, consider me hidden!
Jamie: Seriously, I eat here all the time.
Turtle: Really?
Waitress: Hi Jamie baby, how you doin'?
Jamie: Really.

Turtle: Why'd you call last night?
Jamie: My therapist says I'm attracted to losers.
Turtle: Lucky me!

E: That's quite an entrance, Ari.
Ari: It's nothing compared to what I'm gonna do to this kraut director!
Drama: It's either you or me, and if it's me, I'm goin in blazing!

Ari: Relax, it's all gonna be alright.
Vince: Why?
Ari: Because the Jew has arrived, and he doesn't like Germans!

Werner: This is a movie about human beings, with layers! It's not a movie about some swimming superhero.
Ari: Well I don't care if it's about a dancing cucumber!

Werner: Are you threatening me?
Ari: If you consider me telling you that you'll be lucky to get a "der wienerschnitzel" commercial if you don't go back to work, then yeah, it's a f-cking threat!
Werner: I don't respond to threats, Mr. Gold! This conversation is over!
Ari: Nothing is over! When I'm done with you, it'll make the battle of Normandy look like a game of f-cking paintball!

Dana: You know, two days at our theme park in Sydney is quite a stress reliever!
Ari: Well, imagine three kids just fell off a roller coaster, and tense up!

"Hot girls driving limos...I like that! Call it 'Lim-hos!'"
-Turtle

Ari: Dana owes me.
E: You really think she would let you replace the director?
Ari: After what I did for her, she would let us double-penetrate her if we wanted to!

The Office Quotes: Season 5, Episode 7

2008-11-14T16:10:00.000-08:00

Another good episode. Not enough of Dwight in this episode, though it was nice to see more of Oscar. Here are the quotes (sorry they're out a bit late):

"In Japan you must always commit suicide to avoid embarrassment. In Italy you must wash your hands after going to the bathroom. This is considered to be polite."
-Michael

"I have always been intrigued by all things international: the women, the pancakes, The Man of Mystery."
-Michael

Michael: Meredith, I would like you to pretend that you are from Abu Dhabi
Meredith: Hello!
Michael: I am ashamed at your naked face. I must cover it with my jacket.
(Michael puts his jacket over Meredith's head)
Michael: You are now sexy in your culture.

"Have you seen her painting, Jim? The building? There are shadows coming from two directions. What! Are there two suns? Last I checked that's not an office building in the Andromeda galaxy. It's totally unrealistic! There's no lines in the parking lot."
-Dwight, about Pam's art

"A concierge is the Winnipeg-equivalent of a Geisha."
-Michael

Oscar: I'm probably gonna leave after one drink.
Andy: With a hot slab of Canadian bacon in your hand!

Oscar: What's first base with Angela?
Andy: I get to kiss her forehead.

"Why have I stayed at Dunder Mifflin for so long? Certainly not the paycheck, because I could be making more money as a doctor or a professional athlete."
-Michael

(Pam is kissing Jim)
Dwight: You're back!
(Pam breaks off her kiss with Jim)
Pam: Yeah.
Dwight: Good. I need you to make five copies of these!

Oscar: I can't believe we called her up!
Andy: Totally. Wait, who?
Oscar: I'm talking about Angela. I can't believe we called her up last night!
Andy: We called Angela?
Oscar: You called her!
Andy: That was real? I thought I dreamt that! Oh God!

Introducing: The Best Mock Draft Database on the Internet

2008-11-14T15:32:00.001-08:00

For the past two days, we've been working feverishly on the first annual NFHell Mock Draft Database. This is a compilation of what player and pick mock drafts are projecting to each team in the league. People have done this for individual teams (like NEPatriotsDraft for the Pats or HailRedskins for the 'Skins), but no one has done it for every team...UNTIL NOW!!! Check back often to see who mock drafts from around the Internet have your team picking.

Check it out here.

Week 11 Picks

2008-11-13T10:05:00.000-08:00

Sorry to skip out on you guys two weeks in a row, but NO PREVIEW AGAIN!!!

It's not 'cause I'm lazy, though. I'm working on something BIG that will be TEN TIMES BETTER than a preview when I'm done, probably by tonight or tomorrow. I'm sure all twelve of you are on pins and needles. On to the picks:

Patriots over Jets - Cassel has put together his two best performances in his last two games, and look for the improvement to continue. Also, the Jets have not faced a defense the caliber of the Pats' D during their winning streak.

Falcons over Broncos - The Broncos are a desperate team right now, but even that is not enough to overcome the Falcons' rushing attack. I predict Michael Turner goes crazy against the soft Broncos line.

Panthers over Lions - Julius Peppers has his second consecutive multi-sack game, and the winless watch continues.

Eagles over Bengals - The Bengals suck.

Packers over Bears - The Packers are at home, and just need this one more. That's the deciding factor in this close game.

Colts over Texans - The Colts may be "back", but this win will be harder than expected. Andre Johnson returns to his 100-ypg ways.

Saints over Chiefs - Clinging on to hope for a wild-card berth, the Saints put together a complete game.

Dolphins over Raiders - The Fins don't even need to use the Wildcat to beat the Raiders.

Ravens over Giants - New York has not fared well against AFC North teams this season, going 2-1 and struggling against the Bengals.

Buccaneers over Vikings - Tampa Bay almost stumbled at KC last week, and will know not to underestimate any opponent. They cruise to victory, fully hyped up and prepared.

Rams over 49ers - The Rams looked good for a 3 game stretch before returning back to earth against the Jets. They still have talent, though, something that can't as easily be said for their opponents this week.

Cardinals over Seahawks - At this point, Mike Holmgren's just counting down the days until sweet, blissful retirement in December.

Jaguars over Titans - The Jags have not looked sharp, losing to previously winless Cincinnati and allowing also winless Detroit to hang around for a little bit. However, there is a shred of playoff hope for the Jags, while the Titans have a three game lead for the AFC lead.

Steelers over Chargers - Both teams are fighting for leads in their respective divisions, but the Steelers are just the better team playing at home.

Cowboys over Redskins - Dallas pulls together for once in preparation for a playoff push.

Bills over Browns - The Bills are down, but not out. The Browns, well, they're just out.

The Ultimate Power Rankings: Week 11

2008-11-12T10:29:00.001-08:00

I went around to five major mainstream media sports websites, and compiled their NFL week 11 power rankings to create the ultimate power rankings. This list will be updated weekly, and anytime there is a change to these sites' rankings. Check it out here. Or just click the logo. Or the link below the logo.

Check out the full rankings here.

The Top 5 Potential Super Bowl Matchups

2008-11-11T23:12:00.000-08:00

With nine games in the books, the playoff picture is becoming clearer each week. We finally know who's for real, and I'm guessing we could call 10 of the 12 playoff teams right now. Given that, here's the top 5 potential matchups we could see at this point:

Nowhere near the top five: Baltimore Ravens vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
This matchup would guarantee that one of these teams will have won the Super Bowl twice in this decade, and no one...will...care. Adding to the lack of intrigue is the fact that the final score will probably be 7-4 or something. At least there are some goofy prop bets to look forward to or something. Now on to the real top five:

5. Miami Dolphins vs. Carolina Panthers
The Dolphins are a longshot for the Super Bowl right now, but they slowly transition to the "Wildcat II: Bigger, Longer and Uncut" offense, which involves lineman Jake Long lining up at receiver, receiver Ted Ginn lining up at lineman, and offensive coordinator Dan Henning lining up at long snapper. Referees are so confused that the Dolphins are somehow awarded between 8 and 67 points each time they score, propelling them to the big game against the Panthers. Meanwhile, Sports Illustrated celebrates yet another job well done, with their 2006 Super Bowl Prediction finally coming to fruition.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Chicago Bears
The halftime show with Bruce Springsteen brings back memories of an era long past. The announcers panel of Michaels 'n' Madden brings back memories of an era long past when Madden actually used to be competent in the booth. One storied franchise, the Bears, has dreams of finishing what they couldn't two years ago. Steelers fans are stoked for their equally storied franchise's record sixth Super Bowl, and propel their team to the game with cries of "one for the mutant sixth finger!" The game is moved off NBC and instead simulcast on ESPN Classic and the History channel.

3. Indianapolis Colts vs. New York Giants
The Colts somehow pull it all together to return to the Super Bowl and face the Giants, leaving the media dumfounded at how they should spin this matchup. With no readily available storylines to play up, we're left with a pretty ordinary game. Media day has a record-low turnout as no one really wants to hear about the dynamic number one receivers of both teams or the injuries the Colts had to overcome to get this far. In the end the media focuses on dissecting how a physical runner like Brandon Jacobs will match up with the Colts' troublesome run defense.

2. Arizona Cardinals vs. Tennessee Titans
Kurt Warner caps off an MVP year with a flawless dissection of the favored Titans. Tim Hightower (who?) turns it on against a normally stout Tennessee run defense. Adrian Wilson picks off Kerry Collins twice. The Cardinals score a major upset to cap off one of the most upside-down seasons in recent memory. America is captivated by this football feel-good story in the post-game celebration for all of three minutes, after which Satan rises up from below and the apocalypse begins.

1. New England Patriots vs. New York Giants
Come on, tell me you didn't see this coming at number one? In a strange twist of irony, the underdog Patriots ride a magical playoff run to take on the heavy favorite Giants. Little-known Patriots fifth receiver Sam Aiken makes an insane on-the-helmet grab, while Giants SS James Butler looks on in disbelief. Aiken tries to milk his new-found fame in the offseason with a book deal. Matt Cassel gets the permanent starting job and the requisite supermodel girlfriend. Tom Brady gets traded in the offseason for a bag of Cheetos and half of a cardboard box, to which an incredulous Brady replies, "What the hell are you people gonna do with half a box?"

NFL Week 11 Stock Watch

2008-11-11T22:09:00.001-08:00

This is the weekly stock watch. These are 10 players, teams, coaches, and everything in between that either dramatically rose or fell in stock this week.

To view older articles, visit the archives.

UP

Julius Peppers, DE, Carolina Panthers
While teammate Jake Delhomme was turning in an avert-your-eyes awful performance, Peppers tore it up against a Raiders offense that was held to historic lows last week. Despite the quality of his opposition, Peppers' 3 sacks and 2 forced fumbles should not go unrecognized. He showed more alertness against the Raiders than he has since the days when he was a lock to be an all-pro each year. Two of his sacks came on plays where his initial burst and speed was enough to get past the lineman without any fancy moves at all. The Panthers made great use of him, lining him up all over the field throughout the day and generally wreaking havoc on defense.

Restraint
Brandon Marshall wanted to make a statement in the Broncos' Thursday night matchup against the Browns. The idea was to pull out black-and-white gloves to symbolize racial unity, a message coming in the wake of that election thing. However, just as he was about to, Brandon Stokely and several other Broncos swarmed Marshall and stopped him from doing so. The Broncos had just scored the go-ahead touchdown to take the lead and didn't want to risk a penalty. Let this be a message to Chad Johnson (assuming he ever gets into the end zone) and company: I love watching TD celebrations as much as the next guy, but I do NOT want my team losing because of someone's ego.

Herm Edwards, Kansas City Chiefs
I'm usually very critical of Coach Edwards, due to his conservative playcalling and the way he ditched the Jets for the Chiefs a few years back. However, I have to give him kudos for the game plan that almost scored an upset road victory over the Chargers. Edwards was unafraid to let no-longer-laughingstock QB Tyler Thigpen make throws deep, and his confidence paid off with a great day from Tony Gonzales. Also, though the decision to go for 2 at the end didn't pay off, I believe it was the right call. The way the momentum had turned in the game, the Chiefs were lucky to score at the end from good field position and trying to win the game right then gave them the highest chance of winning.

Kerry Collins, QB, Tennessee Titans
Coming into the Bears game, the Titans were on an 11-game regular-season winning streak. In each one of those eleven games, the Titans failed to throw for over 200 yards even once. The first streak stayed intact while the second was broken as Collins turned in one of the best games of his career, posting 289 yards and 2 touchdowns. More importantly, the Titans proved they could win on the arm of Kerry Collins instead of simply having him manage the game. They managed a grand total of 20 yards on 29 carries against a Bears team that was determined to stop the run at all costs. One of those "costs" happened to be the game.

BenJarvus Green-Ellis, RB, New England Patriots
Who is Green-Ellis, you ask? Aside from having like eight names, he's the newest running back in the ever-changing Patriots' stable. With injuries to Sammy Morris, Laurence Maroney, and LaMont Jordan, rookie free agent Green-Ellis was promoted from the practice squad to get the majority of the reps at RB as of late. He recorded his first career 100-yard game against the Bills, and demonstrated an ability that has eluded feature back Maroney throughout his career: the ability to run straight ahead without dancing around for ten minutes. Green-Ellis's unspectacular running style is an underrated story line in the Pats' up-and-down season, and could be the catalyst to a playoff run.

DOWN

The Refs...again!
Vikings-Packers: a rivalry that has been decided by single digits in several consecutive games now. In yet another close victory, every call and play matters, and the Packers got screwed. First-year ref Alberto Riveron called an "illegal forward pass," resulting in a second-quarter safety, when Rodgers had done no such thing. In an attempt to cover his mistake, he called it "intentional grounding" (which it was not either) in the postgame presser. Another blatant bad call was refusing to throw a personal foul penalty after Adrian Peterson scored a touchdown for the lead and took off his helmet. That's an automatic personal foul, as stupid as the rule may be, and the Vikings should have kicked off from their own 15-yard line.

Brady Quinn, QB, Cleveland Browns
If anything, most people probably expected to see this guy in the top category. 23/35, 239 yards passing, 2 touchdowns...these are not numbers to scoff at. It tells a different story to those who watched the game, though. Quinn was clearly limited by the offensive staff, as other developing quarterbacks like Matt Cassel have been this season. This is to be expected; the knock on him, however, is that the things he was doing in the short game might not easily translate. There were quite a few throws that were on the money, but just as many that were inaccurate and would have been picked off or incomplete were they thrown five yards deeper. Kellen Winslow finally showed up and bailed out Quinn on a number of attempts, like an ill-advised throw into double-coverage that resulted in a touchdown. It's only his first game, but Quinn has managed to elevate expectations while not really playing that well, and that can only bode ill for him.

Mike Singletary and Mike Martz, San Francisco 49ers
Everyone knows by Singletary's antics by now. He's clearly in over his head with the whole coaching thing, and if he wants a long-term position with the team he needs to stop spewing off in front of the media. He teamed up with the other Mike on the coaching staff to commit a bigger gaffe on Monday night, though. They absolutely butchered the final minute, when the team had a great opportunity to score a touchdown for the win with a first down on the one yard line. Instead of spiking the ball to save time, the team wasted the clock and failed to make it. With 4 seconds left, the team chose to run up the gut with Michael Robinson...from three yards out. An odd choice, to say the least. Clock mismanagement and bad playcalling killed an opportunity for an upset.

Raiders' Front Office
I'll give the management credit for cutting DeAngelo Hall loose. Still, it's a mistake that never should have been made in the first place. Other contractual busts include Javon Walker and Tommy Kelly. But we've known this all season long; why bring it up now? Only because the lone star on the team, Nnamdi Asomugha, turned in the best game of what should be an all-pro season (but won't be because he's on, well, the Raiders). He picked off a Delhomme pass and helped the defense in allowing only seven completed passes all day. Still, the Raiders lost, and it's because of the ineptitude of the front office. Al Davis (and the Lions, while we're at it) needs to take a look at the rebuilding job the Miami Dolphins have pulled off: clean out the whole front office, dump players who have outlived their usefulness and contracts, and start fresh with pure football guys.

Quarterbacks
Maybe I'm a little late on the train for this one, but the state of NFL quarterbacking is definitely down this year. Skipping past the obvious Tom Brady/Peyton Manning thing, there's still a lot of turmoil going on in the rest of the league. Kurt Warner is currently the best quarterback in the league, and might even win the MVP. Not to take away from his stellar season, but this is a guy who's contract with the devil was supposed to have expired seven years ago. We're probably just going through a transition period; young guys like Matt Ryan, Trent Edwards, and Joe Flacco are quickly maturing into top-flight quarterbacks but are still a couple years away. Still, when Kerry Collins merits serious consideration for the upper echelon of NFL quarterbacking, you know something's up.

NFL Week 11 Awards Watch

2008-11-10T21:52:00.000-08:00

This is the weekly awards watch. These are the leading contenders for each of the major awards, as well as runners-up.

To view older articles, visit the archives.

Most Valuable Player
1. Adrian Peterson, RB, Minnesota Vikings - Maybe it's a little premature to move him into the #1 slot, but in a one-point victory, his team needed every yard he got.
2. Kurt Warner, QB, Arizona Cardinals - In a tougher-than-expected home victory, Kurt Warner came through in the absence of the running game.
3. Albert Haynesworth, DT, Tennessee Titans - Kerry Collins might have been the star Sunday, but there's still no one who means more to the league's only undefeated team.

Offensive Player of the Year
1. Adrian Peterson, RB, Minnesota Vikings - Moves into the league lead in rushing with a nearly 200-yard performance and help from Clinton Portis's bye week.
2. Clinton Portis, RB, Washington Redskins - Wasn't it like yesterday that Portis led the league in rushing by like a million yards? So much for that.
3. Andre Johnson, WR, Houston Texans - Johnson has his second straight sub-100 yard game, but consider: he has more yards receiving than all but two players have on the ground. That's impressive.

Defensive Player of the Year
1. Albert Haynesworth, DT, Tennessee Titans - The Bears were held to a respectable run total despite being determined to move the ball on the ground.
2. Kris Jenkins, DT, New York Jets - He doesn't show up much on the stat sheet, but it's no accident that the Jets took a 40-0 lead by halftime of their latest game.
3. Joey Porter, LB, Miami Dolphins - The Miami red-zone defense gets the game ball on Sunday, holding the Seahawks to field goals multiple times in a close game. Porter chipped in with a sack to remain the NFL's leader.

Offensive Rookie of the Year
1. Matt Ryan, QB, Atlanta Falcons - With each passing week Ryan grows farther apart from the rest of the guys on this week. He made a couple risky but accurate throws to Michael Jenkins this week, showing he's developing trust in more than just his number one option.
2. Chris Johnson, RB, Tennessee Titans - The Bears did everything they could to stop Tennessee's run game while feeding Matt Forte the ball in all phases. Johnson is still the more dynamic rookie, but the two are a lot closer than a week ago.
3. Eddie Royal, WR, Denver Broncos - DeSean had a pretty quiet game for Philly, while Eddie Royal had 164 yards receiving, including a 93-yard catch where he deftly avoided tight single coverage. He is the new leader in rookie receiving.

Defensive Rookie of the Year
1. Jerod Mayo, LB, New England Patriots - The victory over the Bills was the Patriots' best defensive effort of the season, and Mayo finished second on the team in tackles.
2. Curtis Lofton, LB, Atlanta Falcons - Nice effort with six solo tackles against the Saints, though he did miss a tackle on Deuce McAllister's touchdown.
3. Chris Horton, S, Washington Redskins - Bye week this week for the rookie interceptions leader (along with Aqib Talib).

Comeback Player of the Year
Jake Delhomme, QB, Carolina Panthers - Still the leader, due to his resurgent year.
Other contenders for the award:
Chad Pennington, QB, New York Jets - Returning from a benching, but has already won the award before.
Julius Peppers, DE, Carolina Panthers - Returning from sucking last year.

Coach of the Year
1. Jeff Fisher, Tennessee Titans - The Bears were my predicted "first loss" for the Titans, and they did everything I thought they would: take away the run. It wasn't enough, though, as Kerry Collins posted a season high in passing yardage.
2. Mike Smith, Atlanta Falcons - The Falcons are only one game out of the division lead. The only part of that sentence anyone ever thought would be true prior to the season was the "one game" part.
3. Bill Belichick, New England Patriots - A team QB'd by Matt Cassel is currently tied for second place in the AFC. I still can't get over that.

Entourage Quotes: Season 5, Episode 10

2008-11-09T23:21:00.001-08:00

Another solid episode. Here are the best quotes.

E: F--- Seth Green!
Drama: Yeah, I still got a piece of his friend's tooth stuck in my knuckle!

Drama: There's the director.
Turtle: Should I just gun it and run him over?
Drama: Or should we take the slow and painful approach and piss in his O.J.?

Ari: We have a meeting with Andrew, and we have three hours to make him look like an agent from this side of the hill!
Lloyd: Extreme makeover, Lloyd-Gold edition! I'm so excited!

Werner: Who are you people with?
Turtle: We're with Vince!
Drama: Werner, I'm Vince's brother. You might recognize me from -
(Werner walks away)

Ari: What time is the luncheon? I'd love to show up!
Babs: Um...there's no men allowed.
Ari: So it's more of a rug-munhing than a luncheon!

Seth Green: You should call Sloane, and you should tell her to call me, and have her ask me to do your show!
E: Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.

Sloane: Do you have a girlfriend?
E: Actually, I have a fiancee. We're getting married. June 6th.
(Sloane is taken aback)
E: I'm just kidding! I wanted to see if you still cared.

Charlie: Yo, f--- you crew-neck wearin' motherf---ers, I just got my own TV show!

Vince: I really don't see a head tilt!
Werner: Shall I get a protractor? It's there!

"She went out and found herself a man to partner up with and look what she made of herself! Cheers to you, Babs, and to all of you out there who have saddled up to powerful men to stand in our way!"
-Ari, at the women's-only luncheon honoring Barbara Miller

"Sorry ladies, I'd like to congratulate each and every one of you, but Barbara's cock is all I can handle right now!"
-Ari, "apologizing" to Barbara at the luncheon

The Office Quotes: Season 5, Episode 6

2008-11-07T04:02:00.001-08:00

Pretty standard episode; some minor developments with Jim and Pam, but not much. It was kinda funny, though. Here are the best quotes.

"I was there. And the dude did not get engaged. I'm not a big believer in therapy, but I'd go into my own pocket to cover his co-pay."
-Darryl, about Michael.

Andy: Big idea! Double wedding! Me-Angela, you-Holly.
Michael: No, we would never do that. And if we did, it would be with Jim and Pam.
Jim: We'd never do that.
Michael: So there you go.

Michael: If I were joking, you would be laughing. Do you look like you are laughing?
Dwight: Impossible to say. I can't see myself.

(Dwight and Jim are role-playing a customer interaction)
Michael: Ask him his name.
Dwight: What is your name, sir?
Jim: I am Bill Buttlicker.
Dwight: Really, that's your real name?
Jim: How dare you! My family built this country, by the way!
Michael: Be respectful, please, Dwight.

(Still roleplaying)
Dwight: We are having a limited -
Jim: You're gonna have to speak a little bit louder. I'm hard of hearing.
Dwight: As I was saying, right now -
Jim: Gonna have to talk louder!
Dwight: Our prices have never been lower!
Jim: Son, you have to talk louder!
Dwight: Never been lower!
Jim: Louder, son!
Dwight (yelling): Buttlicker! Our prices have never been lower!
Michael: That is totally inappropriate! You never yell at the client!

"Michael, I like the sound of your voice. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna buy one million dollars worth of paper products today."
-Jim, still roleplaying with Michael to spite Dwight

Angela: I don't want to be married in a tent, like a hobo!
Andy: Hobos live in trains!

"The reason I got bad customer reviews is because I didn't! There's a massive conspiracy going on here, and I know you're involved."
-Dwight, to Kelly

Kelly: I was raped!
Michael: You cannot keep saying, "I was raped", and expect all your problems to go away! Not again!

Week 10 Picks

2008-11-06T16:25:00.000-08:00

Okay...so I was planning to write my week 10 preview tonight, and then I remembered about Thursday night football. Dammit. Well, here's my picks, at least:

Season Record: 75-55

Falcons over Saints
Dolphins over Seahawks
Vikings over Packers
Jets over Rams
Texans over Ravens
Chargers over Chiefs
Patriots over Bills
Steelers over Colts
Bears over Titans
Eagles over Giants
Cardinals over 49ers
Jaguars over Lions
Panthers over Raiders
Browns over Broncos

NFL Week 10 Stock Watch

2008-11-05T23:32:00.000-08:00

This is the weekly stock watch. These are 10 players, teams, coaches, and everything in between that either dramatically rose or fell in stock this week.

To view older articles, visit the archives.

UP

Chan Gailey, Offensive Coordinator, Kansas City Chiefs
The Chiefs might have lost the game, but at least they now understand what they must do on offense to be remotely competitive this season. For years, the Chiefs and previously the Jets had been hampered by Herm Edwards' conservative philosophy. This week they took a page out of the resurgent Dolphins' playbook and ran one sweet play out of the wildcat: direct snap to Jamaal Charles, toss to Mark Bradley, touchdown pass to wide-open QB Tyler Thigpen. Opening up the offense like this could mean a few surprise victories down the road for Kansas City. The video of the play is below:

Kris Jenkins, DT, New York Jets
Jenkins was a forgotten man in Carolina, but Coach Eric Mangini has managed to revive him in New York (one of the few things he might have done right during his tenure there). This season, the Jets' run defense has improved by over an entire yard per carry this year, and ranks fourth in the league. A big part of that is Jenkins, who helped hold the Jets to just thirty yards in total rushing. He also had 1.5 sacks, despite being the nose tackle in a 3-4 base defense most of the time, a very tough feat in itself.

Anthony Gonzales, WR, Indianapolis Colts
Gonzales was the best man on the field for the Colts on Sunday night. His stats weren't eye-popping (4 catches, 55 yards, 2 TDs) but the main point here is that Peyton is developing chemistry with someone else, ostensibly looking towards the fast arriving post-Marvin Harrison era. Gonzales absolutely abused New England corners Jonathan Wilhite and Mike Richardson, and while they aren't exactly household names it merits mention.

Comeback!
The Buccaneers came back from 21 points down on the road in loud Arrowhead Stadium. It was, admittedly, against the Kansas City Chiefs, but it is still noteworthy when you register the biggest comeback in franchise history (21 points). The team also added a different chapter to franchise lore with Clifton Smith's 97-yard kickoff return for a touchdown. Before last year, the Buccaneers had never once recorded a return touchdown in the history of their franchise, and were the only team in the NFL to hold that mantle. Their second kickoff return touchdown took a lot less time than the first.

Donovan McNabb, QB, Philadelphia Eagles
The Eagles were everyone's favorite team when the season started, and then quickly fell into fourth place in their division at 2-3. Now they're suddenly experiencing a resurgence with a dominant three game win streak. In the latest edition of Eagles football, McNabb turned in his finest game since the season opener. He got off to a bad start, but over the course of the next four drives after his untimely interception, McNabb threw exactly one incompletion. With scant help in the running game, McNabb opted to slice up the Seahawks through the air, spreading the ball to 10 different receivers and sending six balls each to three of them.

DOWN

Bill Belichick's Time Management Skills
The Patriots gave a valiant effort at Indianapolis, but despite a great (by his standards) game from Matt Cassel, a stiffling run defense, and great production from their own run game, the Patriots managed to lose the game. There were several factors to point to, but with a chance to get the ball back at the end, the Pats were strapped with no timeouts. Why had they been wasted? 1) Challenging a 12 men on the field non-call that turned out to be correct. 2) Having second thoughts about sending out the offense on 4th-and-1, and opting to kick a field goal instead. 3) The offense wasn't set in time for the play clock and saved a delay of game. While the third one isn't BB's fault, he should know better than to waste a challenge on a measly 5-yard penalty.

The Raiders
This weekend the Raiders played the second-worst half of offensive football in the second half of their game against the Falcons. What's the worst half of offensive football, you ask? Merely the first half of the Falcons game, where the Raiders registered -2 yards of total offense and zero first downs. How's that old joke go? Oh yeah: the Raiders are at practice when they notice some white powdery stuff on the field. Thinking it's anthrax, they call in the FBI. After extensive tests, the FBI concludes that the white stuff is in fact "the goal line." Concluding that the Raiders were unlikely to ever encounter this goal line ever again, the FBI sends them on their way...

Cleveland Browns Secondary
The Browns' secondary has been maligned all season, but with a chance to make a push for the playoffs, they failed to come through. Josh Cribbs was burned early for a touchdown where he clearly bit on the play action. Later, Eric Wright took a bad angle on Derek Mason on his touchdown, just one catch of a nine-catch, 136-yard day for Mason. All in all, the Browns have only themselves to blame for making Joe Flacco into the AFC's Offensive Player of the Week.

Backups in Dallas
Rarely has the argument to have a solid backup more evident than this weekend. In Cincinnati, Ryan Fitzpatrick was efficient in leading his team to its first victory. Against the Colts, Matt Cassel turned in a solid game that would have been statistically much better if Jabar Gaffney held on to a perfectly thrown touchdown pass. And Kerry Collins kept his team perfect. The Cowboys, on the other hand, have neglected to acquire a serviceable backup to Tony Romo. Brad Johnson sounds good on paper until you consider that he's forty. In fact, the Cowboys haven't drafted a single QB in the past seven drafts (stat courtesy of Peter King). When you have to call on Brooks Bollinger (a man whose name will forever be italicized) to lead a comeback, you might as well just call it a season.

Buffalo Bills Offensive Line
The once 5-1 Bills are now staring at last place in the division if they lose next week and things go right (wrong?). Much of the blame this week can be placed on the line, which gave Trent Edwards next to no time to throw this week, and was even worse in the run game. Even on Edwards' touchdown throw in the first quarter, he was heavily pressured and barely got the ball off. The line was abused from all directions, but especially in the middle by rising star Kris Jenkins, who was good for two sacks.

The Ultimate Power Rankings: Week 10

2008-11-05T20:42:00.000-08:00

I went around to five major mainstream media sports websites, and compiled their NFL week 10 power rankings to create the ultimate power rankings. This list will be updated weekly, and anytime there is a change to these sites' rankings. Check it out here. Or just click the logo. Or the link below the logo.

Check out the full rankings here.

NFL Week 10 Awards Watch

2008-11-04T23:13:00.000-08:00

This is the weekly awards watch. These are the leading contenders for each of the major awards, as well as runners-up.

To view older articles, visit the archives.

Most Valuable Player
1. Albert Haynesworth, DT, Tennessee Titans - Haynesworth becomes the leader for the award by default, since no one else is really stepping up.
2. Clinton Portis, RB, Washington Redskins - Was held to just 51 yards on 13 carries, but maybe that helps his case for MVP. When he isn't fed the ball, the team loses, proving there's no one more valuable to the Redskins offense right now.
3. Kurt Warner, QB, Arizona Cardinals - Who would've thought Warner would have his best season seven years after he won his MVP awards? The Cardinals may not be lighting the league on fire, but the team is 5-3 and almost a playoff lock, considering the state of their division.

Offensive Player of the Year
1. Clinton Portis, RB, Washington Redskins - Still far and away the NFL's rushing leader. His quiet week doesn't knock him down yet, but let's not make it a trend.
2. Drew Brees, QB, New Orleans Saints - Still the NFL's passing leader, and still on pace for over 5,000 yards. Bye week this week, so not much to say.
3. Andre Johnson, WR, Houston Texans - Johnson was outshone by teammate Owen Daniels this week, but his play as of late deserves to be recognized. If he had a legitimate number two, or a legitimate quarterback, he might be the best receiver in the league.

Defensive Player of the Year
1. Albert Haynesworth, DT, Tennessee Titans - The Packers had a modest day rushing, but the Titans are still undefeated and he's a big part of it.
2. Kris Jenkins, DT, New York Jets - This might be the first time in history that two pure defensive tackles are legitimate contenders for DPoY, considering the anonymity of the position. Jenkins was unstoppable against the Bills, helping hold the team to just 30 yards rushing and registering two sacks.
3. Joey Porter, LB, Miami Dolphins - Porter picks up a sack for a Miami team that is just one game out of the lead in the competitive AFC East. With one of the easiest remaining schedules, this team could easily wind up 9-7.

Offensive Rookie of the Year
1. Matt Ryan, QB, Atlanta Falcons - In Peter King's weekly mailbag, he made the point that Ryan should get MVP consideration. While I wouldn't put him that far, his performance against Oakland was indeed masterful.
2. Chris Johnson, RB, Tennessee Titans - Johnson has his best dual-threat game of the season, picking up a team-high six receptions for 72 yards to go along with his nice rushing total.
3. DeSean Jackson, WR, Philadelphia Eagles - Jackson had a quiet week, but remains the rookie leader in receiving.

Defensive Rookie of the Year
1. Jerod Mayo, LB, New England Patriots - The Colts got nothing going in the run game despite the return of Addai, and Mayo's team-high eight tackles were a big part of that.
2. Curtis Lofton, LB, Atlanta Falcons - Lofton was the team's second-leading tackler in their defensive domination over Oakland, which set some sort of historical precedent for offensive futility.
3. Chris Horton, S, Washington Redskins - Horton adds to his impressive season with his first sack, though it didn't really help his team to victory much.

Comeback Player of the Year
Jake Delhomme, QB, Carolina Panthers - Pretty much the only contender for the award.

Coach of the Year
1. Jeff Fisher, Tennessee Titans - The Titans are still undefeated, yet don't even get universal love as the top team in football (some like the Giants).
2. Mike Smith, Atlanta Falcons - Matt Ryan looks like the next great NFL QB, among the likes of Brady and Manning. But it's not just Ryan; Smith has the defense playing like a top-caliber unit, squeezing maximum effort and effectiveness out of once-forgotten vets like John Abraham.
3. Bill Belichick, New England Patriots - He's probably not a popular pick for this award, but he has a legitimate case. The Patriots sans Brady are doing pretty damn well, and Matt Cassel is quickly improving.

Entourage Quotes: Season 5, Episode 9

2008-11-03T00:02:00.000-08:00

Vince is back on track, but there's a problem brewing on set. There weren't too many awesome lines this time; Ari let me down! Still, here are the quotes.

"You know when he was doing "Rush," he stuck real needles in his arm to prep. That's what inspired me to do real coke when I did the Menendez brothers movie."
-Drama

"These are books. Company books, Lloyd...what am I doing, you're Asian, you're supposed to be good with numbers!"
-Ari, about to go through some record books

Drama: You gotta nip this in the bud. That's how a star marks his terrirotry. Andrew Shue did the same thing to me on Melrose.
Vince: How'd you stop him?
Drama: I banged his girl!

Vince: I'm gonna go talk to him.
Drama: Hey, remind him that he got molested at sleepers! That'll throw him off balance!

Vince: It's really hot in here!
Jason Patrick: You know how hot it can get when wood combusts, don't you? 3000 degrees. Hot.

Ari: We both made tons of money, we both got lots of pussy.
Lloyd: What happened?
Ari: We married too young.
Lloyd: I meant with work!

Drama: Took the opportunity to inflict a little damage.
Turtle: What kind of damage?
Drama: The "number two" kind!
Turtle: You took a shit in his trailer?
Drama: ...let's just say revenge is best served "a la commode."

Mike Singletary Drops His Pants

2008-10-31T10:17:00.000-07:00

Apparently, during halftime of last week's 49ers-Seahawks game, Mike Singletary dropped his pants in order to, um, motivate his players. Yeah, that's gonna work.

These athletes are, for better or worse, professional adults in a workplace. Is it really prudent for their boss to be going bare-ass on them? I'm pretty sure there are better ways to get across whatever convoluted message he was going for. But hey, even though they did end up losing, we at least had this to look forward to after the game:

30 Rock Quotes: Season 3, Episode 1

2008-10-31T09:42:00.000-07:00

30 Rock is back!!! The first episode was pretty funny, but not as good as its best moments second season. Still, good show.

Liz: How did you get out of your government job?
Jack: I'm not at liberty to say, at least not until Cheney dies. Which won't be for a while. The man is mostly metal.

"Devin is the worst! It's like he doesn't even care when we should have cake for people whose birthdays are on the weekend!"
-Liz

"My apartment is spotless, I have practiced all my answers, I got rid of all my Colin Firth movies in case they consider that erotica..."
-Liz, preparing for an adoption agency coming that day

Devin Banks: The only thing Kathy and I need assistance with is deciding which John Mayer song to do it to."
Jack: Come on, Banks. You sold off small appliances, Shinehart wigs missed projections for last quarter. And I hear that theme park fire didn't destroy any of the stuff it was supposed to! Rumor has it that you're in over your head.
Devin: Well, you know what they say about rumors, Jack. They make a "ru" out of "mor" and "s."

Tracy: My video game is selling through the riz-oof!
Jenna: Well, how far through the rizoof?
Grizz: Whoa, that's not slang! He has a speech impediment!

"You ever run a web camera out here, Liz? Gentlemen tell you what to do? At first with some faint hesitation..."
-Beverly, the adoption agency woman

Tracy: Let's go shopping. To the Batmobile!
Dotcom: Don't worry. He's just leasing it.

Jack (talking to a bunch of lower employees): Don't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want to have! So now Manny?
Manny: Tomorrow I'll show up for work dressed as a Mexican wrestler!

Jack: This is GE!
Devin: It's just G now, Jack! I sold the 'E.' To Samsung. They're Same-sung now.

Kenneth: I think adoption is a wonderful thing! Three of my nine siblings were adopted. And some day I'm going to find them.

Liz: Hey Rick!
Rick: I'm Fred. Rick is the other black guy.
Liz: Happens to everyone, right, Bev?
Beverly: Yeah. Happens all the time to my black husband.

"Well I first met Liz in 1993. She was just out of college and I had just broken up with OJ Simpson. And can I just say something? Total gentleman."
-Jenna

"I'm going upstairs...to doink Kathy Geiss!"
-Jack

"I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone involved with making my video game, the most profitable thing since the War on Terror! Yes, I am provocative! Frank, for all your hard work, please accept this set of solid gold nun-chucks!"
-Tracy

"Now you look after my girl Liz Lemon, 'cause me and her go way back like spinal chords and car seats!"
-Tracy

Liz: It is imperative that you keep Devin down here until I get Jack! Do you know what "imperative" means?
Kenneth: Tell me, tell me!

"Is this the way my life was supposed to play out? The kid who walked four miles every Saturday as a caddy because his mother said golf was a game for businessman? The kid who paid his way through Princeton by working the days shift at that graveyard and the graveyard shift at that Days Inn?"
-Jack

"This job is all I've ever wanted, Lemon. And it all hinges on how far I'm willing to go with a woman in Dora the Explorer panties that were clearly made for an obese child."
-Jack

The Office Quotes: Season 5, Episode 5

2008-10-30T23:26:00.000-07:00

It was an okay episode, but the subplot with Dwight and Andy and Cornell was hilarious.

(Stanley's wearing a mask)
Kelly: Stanley, I thought you hated Halloween!
Phyllis: He wears it so he can sleep at his desk.

Kelly: Who are you, Larry King?
Ryan: Gordon Gecko.
Kelly: Oh, from the insurance commercials!

"So, no one dresses up for Halloween here. I wish I'd known that before I used grease paint for my mustache. And I can't even take off my hat, because then I'm Hitler."
-Pam, dressed as Charlie Chaplain

"Cornell is an excellent school. Without its agricultural program, we probably wouldn't have cabbage. At least not modern cabbage."
-Dwight, while wearing a Cornell sweatshirt to screw with Andy

(Holly is crying)
Michael: Are you crying?
Holly: No.
Michael: Allergies?
Holly: No.
Michael: Did Darryl touch you?
Darryl: What?!?!?

Michael: I've dated almost four women in the last -
Holly: I dated four guys last year too!
Michael: Not last year. In like the last ten years.

Meredith: I once dated two guys from Cornell. They were really nice, they gave me a ride home.
Andy: I seriously doubt you dated anyone from Cornell.
Creed: It's pronounced "Colonel", and it's the highest rank in the military.
Andy: It's pronounced "Cornell"! It's the highest rank in the Ivy League!

"Who are your role models?....So, Dane Cook, Jack Bauer, and Eli Whitney."
-Andy, interviewing Dwight

Jim's Brother: How many famous trumpeters can you name besides Louis Armstrong?
Pam: Miles Davis.
Jim: One!
Pam: Chet something?
Jim: Half!

(Andy is maliciously interviewing Dwight as part of Dwight's application to Cornell)
Andy (writing): Comprehension skills, sub-par.
(Dwight pulls out his own notepad)
Dwight: Interviewing skills, sub-par.
Andy: What are you writing? Can't even give Cornell your full attention!
Dwight: On the contrary, I'm helping Cornell, by evaluating their interviewers!
Andy: I doubt anyone wants that.
Dwight: Well, when they get my form we'll see if they're interested.
Andy: Applicant is attempting to blackmail interviewer, showing low moral character!
Dwight: Interviewer is threatening applicant with arbitrary review process!
Andy: Applicant is wasting everyone's time with stupid and inane questions!
Dwight: Interviewer has suspect motives!
Andy: Applicant has a head shaped like a trapezoid!

NFL Week 9 Preview

2008-10-30T02:01:00.000-07:00

This week's preview is up, with predictions and scores: Week 9 NFL Preview: Halloween Edition.

For the dozen or so of you who visit our site, you might have noticed that each week the games are compared to something else (summer movies, Guitar Hero) in order to, um, gain greater insight into the matchups. This week the comparisons are to people you'll run into on Halloween. Read the full preview here.

The Ultimate Power Rankings: Week 9

2008-10-29T17:01:00.001-07:00

I went around to five major mainstream media sports websites, and compiled their NFL week 9 Power Rankings to create the ultimate power rankings. This list will be updated weekly, and anytime there is a change to these sites' rankings. Check it out here. Or just click the logo. Or the link below the logo.

Check out the full rankings here.

NFL Week 9 Awards Watch

2008-10-29T15:59:00.000-07:00

This is the weekly awards watch. These are the leading contenders for each of the major awards, as well as runners-up.

To view older articles, visit the archives.

Most Valuable Player
1. Clinton Portis, RB, Washington Redskins - Portis is currently the most consistent performer in football, with over 121 yards in each of his last five games, and over five yards per carry in each one.
2. Albert Haynesworth, DT, Tennessee Titans - Quiet game from Haynesworth this week, but he'll be on track against the weak Packers running game next week.
3. Trent Edwards, QB, Buffalo Bills - Edwards drops on the list after a sub-par performance against Miami.

Offensive Player of the Year
1. Clinton Portis, RB, Washington Redskins - Portis is the stats-monster of the season, and as such gets this statistically-driven award.
2. Drew Brees, QB, New Orleans Saints - Speaking of stats, Brees returned to form big-time this weekend. Maybe a trip overseas was what he needed.
3. Philip Rivers, QB, San Diego Chargers - I was thinking of sticking him here last week, but this week he finally enters with yet another 3-TD outing.

Defensive Player of the Year
1. Albert Haynesworth, DT, Tennessee Titans - There just isn't anyone else for this award right now. Haynesworth already has tied his career high in sacks with six this year, and has half the season to go.
2. Joey Porter, LB, Miami Dolphins - Porter's league-leading 10.5 sacks put him on pace for 21, and threatens the NFL sacks record. He had two forced fumbles as well this weekend.
3. Jonathan Vilma, LB, New Orleans Saints - The NFL's tackles leader deserves some mention. He had the interception that sealed the game in London.

Offensive Rookie of the Year
1. Chris Johnson, RB, Tennessee Titans - Was in danger of posting a weak game before ripping off the sixteen yard touchdown to seal the game.
2. DeSean Jackson, WR, Philadelphia Eagles - His ranking stays intact this week, but if Donnie Avery continues to produce as he has for the last three weeks, he could push Jackson for top rookie receiver billing.
3. Matt Ryan, QB, Atlanta Falcons - Managed to stay confident in the face of Philly's confusing pass rush and deep secondary.

Defensive Rookie of the Year
1. Jerod Mayo, LB, New England Patriots - The Patriots' stifling defensive line was the story in this game, but Mayo did his part in helping finish a few plays.
2. Curtis Lofton, LB, Atlanta Falcons - Lofton had a sack and a forced fumble in the tough loss to Philadelphia this weekend, and added three tackles to his second-among-rookies total.
3. Chris Long, DE, St. Louis Rams - Long posted two sacks this weekend, including one where he was very clearly held but still managed to lose his defender.

Comeback Player of the Year
Jake Delhomme, QB, Carolina Panthers - Delhomme's Panthers return to the top of the NFC South.

Coach of the Year
1. Jeff Fisher, Tennessee Titans - With losses from the other guys on this list, Fisher jumps to the top. He proves this week that even when their strengths are neutralized, his team is still built to win.
2. Mike Smith, Atlanta Falcons - Atlanta still has a winning record, and there's no shame in a game that they were potentially robbed of.
3. Dick Jauron, Buffalo Bills - The Bills lost after Warren Sapp predicted them to go to the Super Bowl in the pregame show. I wouldn't put them that far, but they'll contend for sure.

Entourage Quotes: Season 5, Episode 8

2008-10-29T15:27:00.000-07:00

Another huge episode, and one of the best ones this season! Yet another continuation of the plot arc from the last couple.

Vince: You're lookin' like George Hamilton.
Drama: But young.
E: Yeah, a fifty-year-old George Hamilton.

"What’s wrong, Tom catch you cruising for Glory Holes again?"
-Ari, to a crying Lloyd

"You throw a lot of Jew guilt for a Chinaman."
-Ari, to Lloyd

Dana: Am I your number two or not Ari?
Ari: You’ll always be my number one whore, Dana.

Drama (leaning over in an awkward position): Economy class is a killer when it comes to bloods clots, my friend.
E: And you're going to prevent one by blowing yourself.

Vince: I'll pick a number 1-20, the closest man gets it.
Drama: No go. You favor Turtle, bro! It might be subconscious, but you do!

Turtle: I feel extra-smart today.
Drama: Yeah, well maybe that's because you unloaded a ton of bullshit earlier!

Dana: I love you, and I swear, I'll rub your cock like it's 1990.
Ari: Whoa, Dana, you're on speaker! I got Vince and E here!

NFL Week 9 Stock Watch

2008-10-29T14:23:00.000-07:00

This is the weekly stock watch. These are 10 players, teams, coaches, and everything in between that either dramatically rose or fell in stock this week.

To view older articles, visit the archives.

UP

Revenge
There were a few grudge matches this week. The Jets got to take on Herm Edwards, the man who abandoned them a few years back for the Chiefs. Herm's boys stuck around for way too long, but the Jets pulled through. Meanwhile, Jon Gruden "improved" to 0-8 all time against former members of his Super Bowl-winning 2002 squad. Brad Johnson, unceremoniously cast aside for one of the other ninety-six quarterbacks Gruden usually keeps on his roster, found a modicum of revenge this weekend by helping pull Dallas out of their slump against his former coach.

Richard Seymour, DE, New England Patriots
Seymour had a team-high seven tackles and chipped in with a sack against the Rams. Throughout the whole game, and even more so in the second half, the Patriots defensive front looked like the elite unit it has been hyped up to be. Seymour and company bailed out the offense several times in the third quarter when the team turned over the ball three times (once on downs) and held St. Louis to just three points in those possessions.

New York Giants Defensive Line
The unit that won the Super Bowl had its finest game of the season when it needed to (though I suppose that's not too hard against Pittsburgh's swiss-cheese offensive line). The ends, Justin Tuck and Mathias Kiwanuka, chipped in with four total sacks between them. Meanwhile, Fred Robbins did an excellent job holding double-teams in the middle despite not registering any tackles. The line is the main reason for New York's success this year, and the play of the interior of the line is why the Giants are doing fine without Strahan or Umenyiora.

Donnie Avery, WR, St. Louis Rams
People were surprised when the Rams drafted Avery early in the second round with bigger names still on the board. The first receiver selected came through against the Patriots with a huge game and several long catches, including a 69-yarder in the second quarter. Early in the game, the Pats were playing nickel corners or a lone safety in coverage, but they soon adjusted after being burned multiple times and assigned number one guy Ellis Hobbs to cover Avery. He still managed to burn Hobbs for a 44-yard reception.

Brian Westbrook, RB, Philadelphia Eagles
My preseason offensive player of the year pick came through with his best game of this injury-plagued season. His touchdown following Atlanta's "muffed" punt sealed the victory for the Eagles. Even more impressive than Westbrook's two touchdowns was his staggering 7.6 YPC average on over twenty carries. If he can stay healthy for the remainder of the season, the Eagles will find a way to rise in the NFC East, where they are only one win behind the currently wild-card bound Cowboys.

DOWN

The Refs, Again
It's been an especially bad year for officiating. This weekend, there were two separate games (and probably a few more that I didn't catch) where someone likely screwed up. First, there was the Patriots-Rams game, in which the Pats were flagged for ZERO penalties. I find it hard to believe that a team could play that perfectly; indeed, it spurred new Rams coach Jim Haslett to send the league a strongly-worded letter. Then, there was the Eagles-Falcons game in which a clearly untouched ball was called as a muffed punt.

Albert Haynesworth, DT, Tennessee Titans
The Titans were forced to win without relying heavily on their two strengths: running the ball and stopping the run. Without Joseph Addai, the already struggling Colts should have been absolutely shut down in the run game. While Dominic Rhodes didn't exactly go crazy against the Titans, he did manage to post a few nice runs and keep the game close far longer than it should have been. Haynesworth was mostly invisible in the middle of the field and didn't add a sack to his already career-high six. This shouldn't put a big damper on his DPoY campaign, though.

Jacksonville Jaguars Special Teams
Jacksonville wasn't able to pull out a close game against the Browns at home, and special teams may have been the difference in this game. They had a field goal attempt blocked with victory still in grasp, and failed to get anything going in the return game with a very pedestrian return average. To top it off, Jacksonville committed the worst possible kind of turnover: fumbling the kickoff, allowing Cleveland to score twice in a row and tiring out Jacksonville's defense.

Jetlag
This week, the Cardinals traveled out to Carolina. Despite leading late in the third quarter, they managed to let the game slip out of their grasp. This game is just the latest in several this season where a west-coast or mountain time zone team has lost while traveling to the east coast. In fact, not a single Pacific Time Zone team has won in the Eastern Time Zone this season. Even the Chargers lost this weekend in far-away London, maybe because of the large time difference. Maybe it's the Jetlag. I think it's just because all those teams in the west suck.

Washington Redskins Fourth-Down Defense
Jason Campbell threw only five incompletions and over three hundred yards. The Redskins had a hundred yard receiver, Santana Moss, and a hundred yard rusher, Clinton Portis. They held the Lions to 2-12 on third-down conversions. They WHY were the Detroit Lions still in the game late? Simple: fourth-down conversions. After forcing fourth down several times, including twice on Detroit's late scoring drive, the Lions managed to convert. However, the Redskins finally did get a fourth-down stop when it mattered: forty-eight seconds left, with Calvin Johnson driving for first, London Fletcher stopped him just short of the first-down marker.

The NFL Subtance Abuse Policy: Roger "Big Brother" Goodell is at it Again

2008-10-29T13:42:00.000-07:00

You might have heard that a few NFL players, including many Saints (Will Smith, Deuce McAllister, Charles Grant, and Jamar Nesbit), have been nabbed for using a non-league approved supplement, StarCaps, that contains an banned substance as an ingredient (Bumetanide). Well that's all well and good, but what isn't good is how the league has handled the situation.

These players' names were leaked despite the league's supposed confidentiality policy, and as a result it'll be tough for the players to win their appeal. Mike Florio of PFT makes an excellent point that since the names are public, the NFL will likely not grant any appeals to avoid a public retraction of their ruling. The league is more concerned about looking bad than fairness.

The final nail in the coffin, to use an overly cliched expression, is that the league is supposed to have a hotline that players can use to check if a substance is banned. However, Bernard Berrian recently went public saying that the hotline is often inactive. Sure the league has an approved substances list, but there are clearly going to be supplements that work in specific situations better than those on the list. With the rate that the pharmaceutical industry changes, there's no way such a list could be comprehensive and complete.

If the NFL insists on being so clandestine about their policies, and provides a very poor means of getting information, how are athletes expected to always be in compliance with the policies? There's a clear difference between taking a supplement that contains trace amounts of some potential masking agent and shooting 300 mg's of Testosterone in your ass.