paradoX on cofeebreakzz

JUNGLE BEAUTY by paradoX 240808

2008-08-23T12:34:00.001-07:00

Life Oh Life Ohhhh Life daa dah dah dum

2008-08-06T00:03:00.000-07:00

Life can be sometimes a funny slow process of confusion! Or a feeling of jumping off from a cliff and landing on your face...

Right now I am stuck in a polluted box and sooo used to it that i dont feel the pollution entering my veins and spreading through my body like a infectious disease. Its funny how people around you can have such an influence on the way you feel! And your beliefs just remain hung like a washed cloth left to dry!!

So today as i stood in the balcony humming the song from John Mayer, thinking that John Mayer is so freaking right when he sung that its hard to beat the system ... its not that we dont care ..the fight is too long and unfair" so i am waiting ...waiting on the world to change!!

The rat race is getting too long and ugly now! And i need to run or jump before the race kills me..cos sometimes what doesnt kill you only drives you to insanity! So should I jump before insanity takes over my mind? Or just walk away from the cooperate world...you just cant leave after coming this far..but seriously is the insanity worth it...

damn my confused life...oh life ohhhh life daa duh duh dum!!!

chasing after the world!

2008-02-09T00:09:00.000-08:00

is it just me or is the world moving too fast! I am breathless trying to keep up with this road runner who claims to be "the world"..it looks behind, with a smirk on its face and challenges me..

"little crazy one...

if you follow me..you would be lost

cos i the world am a ghost

i dont wait..i dont slow down

stop the panting..the chating

stop growling and frowning

it tinkles my stomach and make me want to swallow you..."

still here i am ..the stubborn..although my feet cries out to giveup my mind doesnt fail me..so i try again ..run again...faster than i ever could..i never thought of whom im leaving behind..who had already given up and stopped running after me ...stopped chasing me or the world! I left behind all my loved ones...and those who could have loved me if i stayed behind!

and then i collide with the rainbow...too many colors on my way..i slip on the blue and sails with the red...the yellow binds my legs and the green blinds me...i slide through with colors all over me, with dots of rainbows on my face and arms ...scratching the colors off me..do i smell of colors..cos i have this funny taste that never leaves my tongue..i think i swallowed some colors on my chase with the world! but i keep running..with green hugging my legs, red paint on my face...and too many color patches on my body...and the rainbow advices me

"little one..look at the mess u have made

stop before your loved ones fade

turn around..please hold my hand

cos all alone you might end"

but do i stop? i keep running...chanting...cursing..alone me chasing after the world!

the world is mine!!

2008-01-05T08:15:00.000-08:00

through the abstractions i seek my soul

to fight my thoughts and save myself

cos no matter how hard i hold his hand

alone i shall stand through the rain

alone shall i burn in the sun

patience can never defeat a being

alone shall i make this world mine

JUNGLE PARTY NIGHT!

2007-12-27T05:00:00.001-08:00

this is what i did for our annual party night!!

my reflection

2007-11-04T12:13:00.000-08:00

kaleidoscope

2007-10-31T14:01:00.000-07:00

crawling into the light

2007-10-05T15:27:00.000-07:00

Breathe in, breathe out
Tell me all of your doubts
Everybody bleeds this way, just the same
Breathe in, breathe out
Move on and break down
If everyone goes away, I will stay

We push and pull
And I fall down sometimes
And Im not letting go
You hold the other line
Cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes

Hold on, hold tight
If Im out of your sight
And everything keeps moving on, moving on
Hold on, hold tight
Make it through another night
In every day there comes a song with the dawn

Look left, look right
To the moon and the night
Everything under the stars is in your arms
Cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes
There is a light in your eyes, in your eyes
There is a light in your eyes, in your eyes

awakening from illusions!

2007-09-26T11:42:00.000-07:00

the illusions conquered my world..took me for a merry go round around the world..for a while i saw the stars sparkling through my body, the sun making my world glow, the moon dancing in my hands..just for a mini second i was blinded by the beauty of the illusionist!!

And then i fell..from the sky..with the moon on my hand that turned to a stone..felt the sun burning my soul..the stars one by one fading away and i drown again into reality ..away from the illusion..my eyes are starting to open and im back ..back in reality!!

freedom

2007-08-12T10:49:00.000-07:00

tribute to final fantasy 8

2007-07-27T11:11:00.000-07:00

for some reason, I am fascinated by EDEA in final fantasy 8... yeup..my final fantasy craze kicks in again..tribute to final fantasy..hail to EDEA

I have been tagged by PIXIE

2007-07-24T22:22:00.000-07:00

1 – Three things I can’t do
Get out of my shell
Get out of my bed the min I wake up
Dive - im kinda scared of water

2 – Three things I can do
laugh....laugh...laugh
sing while taking a shower
talk endlessly about myself :-D

3 – Three things That scares me
Getting out of my shell
Getting drowned
What the world might turn into

4 – Three things I love
My mom
My husband
Religion

5 – Three things I hate
Politics
Snobs
Being stuck in the middle of the sea in a bad weather

now i'd like to tag:
http://huvafen-unseen.blogspot.com/
http://mulsifid.blogspot.com/
http://www.angel-in-debt.blogspot.com/
http://www.shappot.blogspot.com/

drama junkie!!

2007-07-10T04:24:00.000-07:00

there was this one quote from desperate housewives that got me thinking...that struck me like a lghtning and made me travel into the world of chaos..the galaxy of reality..so the quote goes like this...

"You. You don't want to be happy. You're a drama junkie. When there is no drama, you create it. once the dust settles, you'll kick up some more because you don't know how to just be happy."

so i just realised that my life could be the most perfect life anyone could have and its just all these dramas that i create which makes it a little hard to handle, the fact that i get into too many "situations" which caught me in this web of disappointment i couldnt get out...what i need to do is just take a deep breath, enjoy life and be happy...easy as a pie!!

take the dust and make my own sweet castle instead of throwing it around and making it the big dust monster that swallows all the twinkling stars around me..maybe i should stop being the drama junkie whose life has to be this "happily ever after cinderella story" and when it is i expect it to be the "snow white"story...

maybe all i need is to forget about yesterdays and tommorows...although the today process can be kind of boring and just stop being the junkie i am!!!

rain washed away my sunshine

2007-07-04T10:22:00.001-07:00

CD cover design 2

2007-06-24T03:23:00.001-07:00

i let you go..

2007-06-19T13:56:00.000-07:00

as the wind caresses my soul..as my wings breath itself in to me and conquers my senses..as the blossoms touch my feet ..as the waves lift me up and sway me away..i feel the pain leave my heart and i let you go

the desperation..the emptiness..today i set you free

the tears..thats been shed through too many years..i let you go

the love ..the never meant to be..i make you yesterday

the needs...the hopes..the fears..i let you go

as i close my eyes and fly away..i let you go

i wait for a better tommorow

2007-06-13T05:25:00.000-07:00

im trapped in a cage of golden bars..i see an illusion of a growing rainbow but somehow its making me blind...

the door is open i gotta fly but something deep inside is keeping me there..somewhere deep down i feel that i might end up in a bed of roses...

slowly my feathers are whithering away.. do i see a tommorow or die today?

so many questions unanswered but i still wait for a better tommorow!

i tell people to go find their dreams..maybe one day it might just knock on your door..

but slowly i see my dream fade away but faraway is it the rays of sunlight i see?

it might be just the beautiful dawn before the night conquer!

im craving for something out of my reach but i just cant get it out of my head...

i see it caressing my lips ..

taking my hand and leading me to the place called happiness..

day by day the craving grows and im still waiting for it to come

is there a tommorow or just today?

is there a way out of my dreams?

maybe tommorow..if it ever comes..

maybe tommorow..if it ever takes my hand..

maybe tommorow if it ever kisses my lips...

maybe tommorow...

a faint whisper comes from my heart

Me and the changes

2007-06-05T02:30:00.000-07:00

today as I stood at TMA gate to board the seaplane I realised that although at times I can adjust easily to abrupt changes I am not emotionally OK with it. After the strike of MAT crews , my flight to the resort I work in have been cancelled and which also made me spend a whole day and looong 12 hours at the airport so that I could atleast make to the resort on the speedboat. Later on I was told that I should catch the TMA flight today!! But thats not the topic here ,,and yeah getting back to what I was talking about ...**sometimes I do get carried away and yeah yesterday was a reallleee loooong day **

I stared at the empty MAT counter today as the plane took off and my heart sank. I loved the coool style of the MAT sand bar and most of all the coffeeeeee!!! the MAT guys and girls are friendly and can catch up a conversation with them easily or joke abt any topic at all! Unfortunately I found the TMA guys quite shy or hesitant to talk and avoiding any possible conversation. The guy at the coffee counter didnt even give me change for my coffeee

**eyes roll**

I have no personal problem with TMA and I am just stressing the point about me being not flexible about how a certain change can really make my mood go off! Once my friend declared that I am a "change"person that I dare to take the step that could change my life forever. And I guess although most of the time I do pretend that its OK every time I do feel my heart sink when I take the step ahead. And for a certain time I would miss my previous routine life so much that I would even try to turn back and go! Everytime my pride and stubborness would hold my feet together so I dont make the wrong choice or would it be the right one!

And once again I can feel the change knocking on my door and this time I am hesitant to open it and let it come through especially after I have realised today that one simple change could make me feel down.

I dont know what the road ahead lies for me that if I opened the door the change could make me fly high or drop me in the shit. If I stayed and closed the door forever will it still drop me in the shit! aaarrrgh I hate decisions...cant I get a flow chart that says change ..if YES...right decision you get bonus marks..if no...you will be executed...

I am very curious to see whats behind that door but am i too old for the change? People tell me that change is good but is it reallee? people tell me its time to stand up and walk away but I am so attached to what I have now that its hard to let it go...changes ..changes ..changes...its always watching me..waiting for the right moment to knock on my door!

Me and the changes always had this funny relationship...and the fight begins again!

glamour in disguise!!

2007-06-01T01:06:00.000-07:00

old time favorite of mine...part of the "ACTOR" lyrics

The dirty games and theNeonshows

This is the world he knows

Watching the stars satisfies my soul

Thinking of him makes me feel so cold

The fancy cars and theRestaurants

You’re just so fond of the man

Sometimes I wonder if you are blind

Can’t you see, he’s got dirt on his mind

memoires

2007-05-27T07:53:00.000-07:00

the song that came to my mind while i did the design....

And as we lie beneath the stars

We realize how small we are

If they could love like you and me

Imagine what the world could be

***love this song***

World is my oyster

2007-05-25T01:38:00.000-07:00

World is my oyster?

“Just go. Go out. Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up your heels. Paint the town red.

How many of us really believes that? I like to but sorry ROSS – oysters is just not my thing.

But is the oyster really in our grasp..or should we go hunting to make our world the oyster…can we change the colors of the town that revolve around us. I often ignore the “united colors of Benetton” that I see now and then and pass them as the weird images of my mind..the work of the pessimistic part of my brain that tries to overtake my controlled emotions.

And today the “fun loving cool friend of mine” lost his oyster..the town for him turned to a color of rainbow but I guess a real dull one. I keep telling him that he can actually control his life..he can grab the oyster and paint the town red..hehehe that doesn’t sound really decent ..i know..he totally cracked up laughing!!

I guess to some extend our old friend ROSS is right..think 5 years maybe 2 years back!!havent you thought of really giving up or thinking your life sucks and today when you really think about it its kind of funny how everything turned back all right!!

Sometimes I am a victim of the colorless town and live in an oysterless world but then again why should I sit here and sulk about something that would make my day worse..why cant I just go out, kick my heels and start painting the town red. All I need is some one to go out and enjoy a coffee with someone who can talk “tom and jerry” or talk about how “peggy” in southpark got killed and reborn!!

So my cool friend..although your lifes been going through a depression phase ..lets just go and count the oysters we have got ;-)

creating the banner!!

2007-05-22T12:46:00.000-07:00

attacked by lifes necessity to work i have been lately forced to neglect blogging...the wheels of my work load had conquered the so called time i spent for myself and drained creativity out of me...it had become the matrix that i could not escape from

finally after a fierce fight between me and my workload i managed to escape from the hands of the numerous contracts, presentations, daily routine...its not over yet!! i hear em say!!

the need for my survival and the addiction to empty the Male' shops has still forced me to cling to the money making machine..the survival tool which is linked to the workload..but i have squeezed sometime from my conquerer and managed to create the paradoX banner!!

phew!! energy draining out...need RED BULL who is supposed to give me wings to fly away!!

its a breeze...

2007-05-04T00:58:00.000-07:00

its a breeze in the darkenss of night

just a breeze that caressed my life

caught my hand and kissed my soul

fearless nights

thoughtless dreams

though an illusion

seems so real

just a breeze in the darkest night

only a breeze ..its just a breeze

aaarGGGGHHHHH!!

2007-05-01T23:53:00.000-07:00

this is exactly how i feel now!!

rolling eyes

cant hold on any longer..need to get out ...need to breath..need to see a human being who can talk my talk

panting..running...panting*

trapped ..trapped again!

knock knock noo answer again*

I have made up my mind...i am gonna quit ,...soon the day will come when i would no longer walk in the same road..when i would change my life !! when i can no longer be compressed or expanded to other peoples wishes.

soft sign ....looking out of the window to the slight ray of light

V won the SPERM RACE clap clap*

2007-04-25T01:19:00.000-07:00

We are all winners!!

one of my friends declared late last nite at our vey late night coffee..the aromatherapy of DINE N DINE was wearing out by then...and the waiter buzzing around our table to see if we had paid the bill yet.

so there we were all scratching our heads...and he the great master of sperm theory ranted on about his own theory or was it stolen from one of his browisng session hehehe..

according to the sperm theory cracker we are all a consequence of a sperm race and to come to this world we have practically murdered hundreds of sperms. We are the so-called winners..the great knight of honor of the big war between the sperms to come to this world! We are all born winners!! and that made me feel realleee good (yeah small things makes me click)..I am a born winner! whatever happens in my life whichever road i take is after i became the winner...so ladies and gentlemen be proud of yourself...YOU ARE A BORN WINNER

***more claps***

& a cry baby :-p