Woman with Kids

Date done

2009-07-18T07:54:00.003-05:00

The first date is done (obviously in that it's twelve hours later) and went really well. I didn't embarrass Boy 1. His grandfather did a little bit, but seriously, it could have been much worse. She seems very nice, quiet, still a bit nervous.

They sat and watched TV while I made dinner and it was Very Quiet. I think because she was nervous and he was nervous and OMGwe'resittingonacouchtogether! At dinner she talked a little bit while I tried to balance the line between grilling the girl who has caught my baby's attention and just having conversation. I'm not good at grilling so I think it stayed well on the side of conversation. Must work on that. I'm sure grilling will come in handy at some point.

I only had call Boy 1 out to the kitchen once, to remind him that perhaps they were sitting a little toocloseonthecouch and it would be more respectful for them to be sure to keep their hands to themselves. I also told him next time I wouldn't call him into the kitchen, I'd say it to the both of them which would be mortifying and so luckily I didn't have to speak to him again. They stayed thisclose but kept their hands in line.

Boy 1 was all relaxed until we drove her home and he made some joke about haha, he hadn't had to meet her parents and I burst his bubble by saying he'd probably meet them when he walked her to her door. Which he did. Fairs fair after all.

Dinner

2009-07-16T19:01:00.000-05:00

So on Monday, Boy 1 was on the phone with his girlfriend, M. I walked past where he was simultaneously surfing the internet and devoting his attention to said girlfriend and asked when he was bringing her to dinner. Because in our family, to poke at is to love. And he asked her when she was coming to dinner, again because to poke is to love and dinner with his mother? How worse of a poking could there be?

She's coming to dinner on Friday. She's nervous, poor thing. Apparently her family doesn't poke or use sarcasm to express their undying love and devotion to each other. Huh. Imagine that. Actually, I get the impression that her family is a bit ...rough. As in, her mother and her mother's boyfriend are throwing a party Friday night and so are not going to meet the boyfriend and his mother where she's going to dinner. If my 14 year old child were going to their house, you can bet I'd meet them. And ensure they'd have no privacy and that they were not the type of parents that think letting two 14 year olds hang out in the bedroom with the door closed is not a big deal. Or things like that. But whatever.

So tonight Boy 1 cleaned his room, voluntarily, painstakingly arranging his deodarent at the back of his dresser and his cologne at the front, even though he knows she won't actually be in his room. It is at the end of the hallway next to the bathroom, so she could see it and therefore, it needs to be clean. Well, at least cleaner. Let's not go crazy here.

So, as Boy 1 said tonight, this will be his first date. And he's excited about it, not the least bit upset that his first date includes dinner with his mom. In fact, I offered to invite his dad too because Him is Boy 1's friend and he surprised me. He didn't want Him there, he wanted it to be just me. I won't let that go to my head, I'm sure there's some nefarious reason behind it, but that's ok. I'll go with it. And my baby's dating.

Crap I'm old.

The Movie!

2009-07-15T20:57:00.002-05:00

Just got back from seeing Harry Potter. Don't read any farther if you haven't seen it yet and don't want to hear anything about it. But it's really good. REALLY GOOD.

Follows the book pretty well but does leave some things out. Why they do that I have no idea because I would be perfectly content to watch a 13 hour long Harry Potter movie. They did leave quite a bit out about the whole Half Blood Prince, which one would think from the title of the movie to be a rather important thing but meh, the director, he thinks not so much because it merely warranted a couple of passing mentions and oh yeah, towards the end the Half Blood Prince himself tells Harry, duh, I'm him, dumbass. And they left out Dumbledore's funeral and changed the part where he is killed (sob. I hate that part) a little bit. It may be more than a little bit but I haven't read the book in a while and let's just go with a little bit.

Anyway. Loved it. And didn't openly sob when Dumbledore is killed. Much. And didn't even snark too much on the teenager who wore a Twilight t-shirt to Harry Potter. Wrong movie dumbass. geez. Get your fantasy/ sci/fi/ fictional characters straight.

TMI

2009-07-15T06:18:00.003-05:00

I've put on a little weight lately. Only about 5 pounds, but I'm kinda short and 5 pounds makes enough of a difference. And I'm bloated. So NOTHING fits me. I have approximately 3/4 of my closet on my bed, because I hate my clothing and nothing fits and I'm going to work in pajamas. (In the interest of complete TMI and full disclosure, I move around too much at night to actually wear pajamas, so no, I'm not going to work in my pajamas, which are my birthday suit.)

Ahem. Between the weight and the bloat, in the morning I look pretty chubby with my pants stretched out nicely over what looks to be a three months pregnant belly and by the end of the day I look to have progressed a couple of months and it hurts because it's so bloated and I was rubbing it the other day when I walked to the post office and this lady looked at me like she wanted to ask when I was due until I glared at her and promptly stopped rubbing my bloat baby.

Crap. I guess I need to stop waddling over to the large bags of potato chips that I have been devouring lately but I'm a stress eater and the stress? It is eating me out of pants and skirts. Between money (lack thereof) and significant other (significant lack thereof) and Boy 1 and my dad, geez my dad, and did I mention money and Boy 2 is away at camp forever and I have a crack in my windshield and my brakes are going and the inspection is due this month and jesus where did I put that bag of chips?

Anticipation

2009-07-14T17:53:00.002-05:00

I may be a Harry Potter fan. And I may have tickets to go see it tomorrow evening, only because I am old couldn't make it to the midnight showing. And I may be planning on bringing tons of tissues because I am going to SOB LIKE A BABY at certain parts of the movie, if they didn't ruin it by showing something completely different than the book.

Side note: The book is right. The movie is visual representation of the book and when the movie not only leaves things out but CHANGES things, my head spins around and I have to fight to overcome the urge to protest by reading the book out loud at the movie. Because the book is right. Always.

Another side note: The only exception to the above rule is the Princess Bride. That book? Weird. That movie is perfect. This is the exception that proves the rule.

Ahem. So. Tomorrow night, movies, my book and I. YAY!!!

In which I am judgmental and bitchy.

2009-07-12T07:24:00.002-05:00

A certain sports star was killed recently, and that's awful. It's terrible. And I've seen reports, lots, on the news about this poor guy whose girlfriend killed him and then herself and it's a tragedy for all involved.

Especially for the guy's wife.

And being the bitchy, judgmental woman I am, my first thought was, 'huh. guess you shouldn't have cheated on your wife, no?'

Bad Mommy

2009-07-08T21:15:00.001-05:00

I will hide candy in my room so I don't have to share it.

And chips.

I will pretend not to hear the children bickering if I'm at a really good point in whatever book I'm reading.

I do not feel bad about not being good at playing sports, because I don't want to play tackle football with them. They're rough and I'm a wimp.

My first response is to yell, usually to yell something along the lines of "Stop Yelling In The HOUSE!"

I will allow Boy 1 to make pizza when I'm making something he doesn't like because sometimes I'm just not up for the battle.

I say "if you do that one more time... too many times.

Sometimes early bedtimes are less a punishment for them and more a sanity saver for me.

I allow their rooms to be messy, to the point of absolute chaos, because I don't like to clean my room either.

I make Boy 2 deal with spiders because I am a big 'ol sissy and he's not. I am responsible for taking care of other things, such as the mouse that Cat was playing with the other day and the bat that somehow got into our bathroom last year.

I always give books at Christmas and birthdays, in the pathetic hope that it will uncover their love of books that must just be buried really, really deeply.

I enjoy (only a little, teeny, tiny bit) when Boy 1 is sick because it's one of the few times he still wants to cuddle. I quickly get over that because he's whiny and grouchy. And hogs the couch.

My summer vacation

2009-07-06T18:55:00.000-05:00

On vacation I:

- Ate my weight in potato chips. for breakfast. every day.

- Waited in vain for the sun. Or at least for the rain to stop.

- It didn't.

- Ate many several sour patch kids candies. Perhaps my weight's worth, but who can tell. Those little buggers don't weigh much... and I might. especially if I keep this up.

- Looked at my list of things to be done around the house on my vacation and by around the house I of course mean OUTSIDE the house, the part being rained on.

- Watched lots of tv. Without having to share the remote or account for why I was watching 15 straight hours of ETV.

- I still sent the boys to daycamp.

- Watched. It. Rain.

- Convinced myself that if it wasn't raining, I would of course be taking long walks, exercising and otherwise creating world peace.

- Perhaps had ice cream for lunch because when on vacation while the children are at camp, I am apparently a two year old left home alone. Speaking of which, isn't it naptime...

- Cleaned my house, the inside part not being rained on. As in CLEANED, like vacuuming the drapes and moping the floor and sweeping and other once a year activities.

- Pretended I was camping because everything feels damp and yucky, just like at the end of a camping trip. Only thing missing is the pervasive smell of campfire smoke clinging to every surface.

- Looked longingly at my backyard fireplace where I was going to have a nice fire and clean up the miscellaneous brush littering my yard. Damn you rain. You're making my yard stay messy.

- Also? I expect you, Rain, to come mow this lawn because it grows about 5 inches a day what with all this watering!

- Perhaps bitched a bit about the weather

Closeness

2009-07-05T19:53:00.004-05:00

Dog has epilepsy. When he first came home with us four years ago, he had seizures about every six months or so. The past six months he's had several seizures, three in the past five weeks. The medicine used to treat epilepsy in dogs has side effects and his vet said it's more a measure of last resort than a treatment. I'm going to have to bring him in though, at least to have a check up on it. It doesn't seem to harm him, but it definitely bothers him. After the seizure, he is VERY CUDDLY. As in, oh did you move an inch? just breathing? well, I'll move closer to you anyways.

No matter what I've been doing for the past few hours, this is how close he's been:

Randomness

2009-07-04T08:48:00.002-05:00

OMG the children are driving me NUTS. In a bat shit crazy kind of way. Boy 1 had his friend T spend the night. T is a good kid with a kind of rough family life and I like him, I really do. But his energy level, with Boy 1's energy/behavioral issues, makes me crazy. There is CONSTANT talking, sound effects, noises, etc. All day long. Even sending them outside doesn't work because they're outside and that must mean they can be REALLY FREAKING LOUD. My neighbors, they'll all saving up to help us move, I'm sure.

Oh, yes, happy 4th of July! We're going to a friend's cookout with her family, our annual intrusion into their family gathering. I think we've been semi-adopted, which is awesome. Just more members of our Franken-family we've patched together. I made a red, white and blue trifle, which is pound cake, raspberries and blueberries and whipped cream, so even I couldn't mess that up, right? There was no baking involved which is where things always go to hell, as my oven is one step up from cooking over an open flame and using sticks as cooking utensils. So no baking, fruit and whipped cream. Can't fail. I hope.

Then I used the extra fruit and made some more whipped cream and we had fruit with whipped cream for breakfast, because I all hell yesss about the healthiness. And now I'm going to hide in my room until the sugar rush is over, because those kids are scary.

He's coming!

2009-07-02T19:39:00.002-05:00

IT'S LESS THAN TWO WEEKS UNTIL HARRY POTTER COMES!! Er, I mean, the movie. Comes out. Not that Harry Potter comes to my house or anything silly like that but OMG I would love that. If he was real and not a fictional character. I realize he's not real. Well, I mean, he's real, the guy the actor is real and apparently fond of horses, but Harry Potter is not real, he's a character and hopefully not as fond of horses. I get that. But OMG HE'S COMING IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS! And people, I haven't started rereading the books yet. Two weeks is plenty of time, the first couple books are like three pages each and I may have read them all a time or twelve, because you have to start at the beginning before the next book comes out but now we're out of books but you still have to reread them before you see the movie even though the movie is always different and that drives me INSANE because the book is always right. Except for the Princess Bride, that book is weird but the movie is great.

Ahem. Must go read.

Coverage

2009-07-02T06:13:00.003-05:00

It's very, very sad when someone dies. The finality of it, never being able to say I love you to your loved ones, not being able to hug them one more time, it's incredibly sad. And whatever my opinions of Michael Jackson, I'm sorry he died. He left behind three small children and that's awful.

But Jesus Henry Christ, a full week of coverage on every news/entertainment/television show is a little OVERBOARD. I'm done! I don't want to hear anymore about if he is or isn't the real father, if he's broke or actually has hoards of money, if his mother or the biological mother who may not even be the biological mother or his sister who shows her nipples or whoever will get the kids. I'm DONE! I am on vacation and I want to watch brainless television and I don't want to hear the song Thriller at all for at least an hour.

Just saying.

Camp songs

2009-07-01T06:11:00.000-05:00

A friend of a friend of a half cousin type thing let Him and Her use their camp for the summer, since they live two states away and come up here often to visit Her's brother, who has a brain tumor. It's incredibly generous of this guy, who went to the same high school as Her but they didn't really go together and really don't even know each other. This past weekend we all piled up there, boys, dogs and the three of us. And it was great. Her could visit her brother, we all hung out, good times were had.

I think the best part was our continued bad parenting, which we as a group excel at. You would think with THREE parental units, one of us could get it together, but no. We can't. I think our parenting skills decrease when we're all together. Case in point? Him made some comment, and of course, I picked on him. He was sitting there with his guitar and starting singing after my snappy comeback. He created our Camp Song, "Just read your book and shut the hell up." We decided other hits could be "Thank God, it's time to take an f'ing nap" and "Eat your broccoli before I kill you to death." See? Good parenting, always.

And we're done

2009-06-29T16:47:00.002-05:00

So, a friend of Her's saw a picture with me in it on her Facespace page, and asked who the cute girl was. (hear that ego? he said 'cute' and 'girl' and was talking about you! you rock!)

Her and I went out the other night with some friends of hers that she went to high school with and this guy, Bob, was there. Her was very excited for us to meet and went over to talk to him.

She came back over to give me the heads up that he's really nice, but he may be a little bit drunk. But he's nice. Honest.

A group of us, including Bob, played pool. At one point, he and I were the only ones standing right there and he told me this great rambling story about some other girls he saw at the bar and a moth flying around and some such and all I could think was ok, he's definitely drunk. One free pass for a stupid rambling story for being drunk, but that's about all your getting buddy. Several times during the night he grabbed my arm to get my attention, because my attention was not on him because honestly, he was annoying. Much like a small child yanking continuously on his mother's dress to get her attention, this grown man grabbing my arm was annoying. And I wanted to give him a time out.

The death blow for Bob was when Her and I were talking, and he was standing beside us playing darts. (side note: drunk+darts=dumbass) Since I was talking to Her and not paying attention to him, HE SNAPPED HIS FINGERS IN MY FACE. Yep, you heard that. Snapped. His. Fingers. In my face.

Yeah, and we're done.

Va Cay Shun

2009-06-29T06:27:00.003-05:00

I am on vacation this week. The boys will still go to day camp because 1. I am mean, 2. Boy 2 has a volunteer job there and 3. again with the mean. I had planned a whole list of things to get done around the house, all those projects I've been saving/ignoring/pretending don't exist. However it's raining and is going to rain forever and ever and it's hard to paint or repair a concrete walkway in the rain. I'm still trying to rationalize how the rain makes it impossible for me to clean the house too, but that one's more difficult.

I had hoped to do a couple of small things for vacation type stuff with the boys this week, maybe head down to the beach/money pit/arcade and ride thing for a day. But unfortunately money just is not going to work. As in, oops, I have 30 seconds to this month's mortgage and it's not looking good and I've used almost all of my savings but have not paid all my bills and oh my fucking god the world is coming to an end.

Ahem. There may be a slight bit of panic going on. A lot.

Crackberry

2009-06-25T19:03:00.002-05:00

Yes, I realize I didn't need it. I talk to approximately three people a day and two of them I've given birth to and I talk to them on my way home to them. Ahem. And I certainly don't need to whole mandatory internet package because people, my computer completely shit the bed only a few months ago and REFUSED to allow Norton antivirus stuff to update and renew and so I bought a laptop and now have this and a laptop. But I'm considering it a birthday present. A monthly birthday present that I will give to myself for the next two years, every month, every time I open the bill and say holy crap! what did I do for the love of peter, paul and chuck?

I bought a blackberry. Because I'm a cool person wannabe.

Preparation freak out

2009-06-24T05:40:00.002-05:00

You know how some people, before they go on vacation, absolutely freak the fuck out? Like a manic phase for the entire week, trying to get everything done and prepare for whatever could/might/will never happen while they are out? Crazy coworker, K, is going on vacation the week after next. She has already started her crazy. It's great. Imagine working in the cubicle next to a loud, whiny two year old who tells every person she talks to on the phone and in person who Very Busy She Is. In case you missed it. The fact that we're all busy makes no difference.

The only bright spot in this is that I am on vacation next week, so I get to miss her final week freak out, which usually includes several hours of her trapping us in our cubicles telling us how she really shouldn't even go on vacation, she's so busy, and how very important her work is. I may have scheduled my vacation precisely so I could miss that. Maybe.

Three more days... three more days... three more days!

Happy Father's Day!

2009-06-21T13:09:00.003-05:00

Hope everyone is having a great father's day! Him and Her came up last night and we went out to dinner for my birthday. Had a great time and we went to my favorite sushi restuarant. I love it there because the food is great, and there's very little chance I'll encounter hidden garlic in my food. Terrific! We had a great time and ate a lot of sushi. Boy 2 came with us to dinner, Boy 1 stayed home with a friend. Boy 2 loves sushi and got to have a Shirley Temple. Or rather, a Shirey Temple, as the menu said, and he insisted on ordering that way. Apparently, both drinks taste the same. Good to know.

Him and Boy 2 were going to walk up the street to get ice cream, and Her and I were going to finish our drinks (one each, no heavy hitting) and drive up to get them. Until we all thought that through and realized maybe finishing our drinks so we could then drive was not the best choice. Perhaps.

This morning we ordered take out from Dennys because we are lazy and love greasy food. Seriously, Dennys does take out. Who knew? We did miss out on the dinner theater eating at Dennys provides, which I love, but really, we're strange enough that we provide our on entertainment.

Contradictions

2009-06-19T22:27:00.003-05:00

This morning, I only had me to get ready, since the boys are out of school and not yet into day camp. So I could have slept in until 7. Actually, I could have slept in until 7:30 and still made it right to work on time because I am fast. And a slob.

So of course, I was wide awake at 4:00 a.m. IN THE MORNING. Crap. My thought process went something like did i remember to do this at work? what about that? how am I going to pay this bill? And this one, this one, that one, these 12, that one and all these? crap, it's my birthday. i don't feel older. i always feel this old. Go! Back! To! Sleep! And stayed awake until I finally dragged my lazy ass out of bed.

At work, Boss tells me he wants us to get together and talk this afternoon. PANIC! Immediately think of every mistake I've ever made. Spend day overanalyzing. Talk to Boss. He has a project for me to do, nothing's wrong. Good job tangling my stomach into knots over nothing. Again.

At 4:30 this afternoon, a mere 30 minutes before quitting time! on a Friday! on my birthday! a coworker tells another coworker she can't stay late to help her. While my brain yells at me to shut up, my mouth offers to help. So I worked 14 hours today. Stupid mouth.

And now, at 11:30 at night, I'm wide awake again. Tired, but awake. I HATE that.

Any excuse will do

2009-06-17T17:56:00.002-05:00

So last week, I went shopping. I didn't need to, I actually needed not to because bills and mortgage and no money equal Not Shopping. Ahem.

Today I ran out to get a father's day present for Him. Boy 2 thought of getting him many different hot sauces, which Him likes, and a giant bottle of heartburn medicine, which him needs. Pretty funny, no? I ran out to TJMaxx, because they have food stuffs and perhaps unique hot sauces. That's it. Hot sauce. Maybe many.

I walked straight in, straight to the back where they keep the various weird boxes of cookies and such. Kinda. I tried to. But this gorgeous shirt caught my eye and called to me and I am weak. So, ok, fine, just this one item. Now onto the hot sauces. Except when I turned from getting the shirt, I saw this dress. It too called to me, obviously it saw how easily I succumbed to the shirt.

On the bright side, I did also find two bottles of hot sauce. And I totally rationalized the shirt and the dress with the fact that it's my birthday Friday and I really deserve them. Ahem.

Can you hear me now?

2009-06-16T05:43:00.002-05:00

We don't have a house phone, all three of us have cell phones. I debated about it, whether I was being that parent that lets their kids, one an 11 year old, have cell phones. But the fact that I can (in theory at least) get in touch with them while they're off playing without being that neighbor that screams her kids names a million times a day, I liked that. Of course that assumes they'll have their phones on and won't ignore it because they're busy. Not that they'd do that...

Our plan renews in September. It's a race right now to see which comes the first, the final demise of Boy 1's phone, or the September renewal when he can get a new one. Preferably one made out of rubber or gorilla glue. It doesn't move the way it used to, several pieces have fallen off (I didn't even realize there were pieces that could fall off. I was wrong. There are many.) and it quite often turns itself off, mid-phone call. This is because he has treated this phone like it was made out of rubber, carrying it in his pocket or backpack, flipping it, throwing it, basically like it was indestructible. It's not.

He tried to convince me that I should trade phones with him, allow him to use my phone until September and I'd use his. Ha. Funny, that boy. I turned down his generous offer. His next tactic was to start on the new phone he'd like. He would like an iPhone or Blackberry. To run his empire, you know. I nixed those ideas pretty quickly and said that in light of how he treated his phone, I was allotting about $20 for a new one. Any more than that would have to be earned by his little self and contributions from Daddy did not count.

Anyone know of a phone made out of rubber and gorilla glue?

It's going to be a long day

2009-06-14T09:30:00.003-05:00

Boy 1 is in one of his manic moods. He's hyper and moody and oh so much fun to be around. Without a breath in between he's made fun of his brother, poked at the dog who was sleeping, asked for literally the fifth time if he can cook the chicken I'm defrosting for dinner, for his own lunch, hummed and sung (sang? sanged? driven me insane) constantly, picked up the sleeping cat, who hates to be picked up, gotten angry because the cat who hates to be picked up immediately wanted down, made yet another 'joke' about me being fat, called his brother names and stood in front of the television deliberately blocking his brother's view of the video game he's playing. All within about 4 minutes. Now times that by the rest of the day. Throw in mood swings and him losing his temper and you have our rainy Sunday.

I hate days like this, he's bouncing off the walls and deliberately being annoying and mean and gets angry with us for getting upset with his behavior. Every step, everything, is an attempt to push limits, even on things he doesn't really want. He just pushes. Constantly. Everything his brother does is somehow an unfair infraction on Boy 1's rights, he has more/better/something Boy 1 wants. Boy 2 has had 30 seconds, I kid you not, more tv time and so Boy 1 deserves to have an extra hour to make up for it. He doesn't see the ridiculousness of his demand, all he sees is the injustice and how he has suffered and will now make us suffer along with him.

Listyness

2009-06-12T18:23:00.003-05:00

Get up.

Go to work.

Wait for train to pass.

For 15 hours.

Get to work.

Work. Work. Work.

Go home.

Wait for another stinking train to pass.

Only 12 hours this time.

Survive barrage of Mom, can I and can you... from both boys and dad.

Hustle children to car.

Drop Boy 1 at talent show.

Pick up Boy 2's friend, N.

Listen to N proclaim knowledge of all and everything within his sight.

Drop Boy 2 and N at the dance.

Watch my baby go to a dance. A DANCE! He's a baby...

Finish having mental breakdown and move on.

Run home.

Dodge second barrage of can I's and can you's.

Watch clock until I can pick my baby back up from the clutches of those hussies.

What does that mean?

2009-06-12T05:45:00.002-05:00

So my boss, on his way out the door last night, says, "See you tomorrow, hopefully."

...what does that mean? He doesn't have any appointments, so it's not that he might not make it in. And even if he did, why would he say hopefully? It's not like he's looking forward to seeing me or being at work. Is he referring to me being out sick on Wednesday and that I might have a relapse? Because stomach bugs don't normally come back after resting for a day. Did he mean, hopefully you'll be in tomorrow because I'm looking forward to firing your ass? Simply because that is my biggest fear and so what I think a lot of his comments mean, even when they plainly don't? Why yes, I am paranoid a bit. Why do you ask?

2009-06-10T15:28:00.002-05:00

Today has been fun! And eventful! In that not really kinda way.

Woke up this morning, felt fine.

Got up out of bed, instantly went, oh no. I did not feel fine any longer. In fact, I think I will run to the bathroom, which involves getting Dog to Move! Out! Of! The! Way! and jumping over Cat who likes to twine herself around your feet while clenching certain cheeks. Sorry, TMI.

And proceeded to die. Crawled back to bed and called into work. Except I didn't because my phone would not complete the call. I used Boy 1's phone, same thing. And, you guessed it, Boy 2's phone fell right in line and wouldn't work either. Crap.