creatures of the loin moped evildoing

ON the way HoME!

2007-03-26T09:45:00.000-07:00

see you all soon, our duties here are done, We packed up and headed back to buenos aires where we got the most ghettos of hotels and await our departure.

Last night on a funny note, was quite amusing, as it began to rain and we watched a lovely Danny Glover hit on the tele. I noticed a thin layer of water on the floor, and then we freaked, there was water pouring in our room from under the door. So I opened the door and water poured in our room like the flood it was. We trudged our way through ankle high water to the front door to see the water outside was like waist deep almost and the whole streets were flooded. Crazy, yummy sewage water flowing in all around us. Well somehow it managed to go down quickly and we resumed our movie as the hotel staff squeegeed the water into the drains that were so conveniently place around the hotel.

Today we search for a bike box, mine is a piece of bloated mess, and will not survive another taxi ride and plane ride.

see ya soon,

g to the lee

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we comming home

2007-03-21T09:39:00.000-07:00

Yes we are officially done with moped riding.

an awesome trip it was, the gracier was the biggest thing i´ve ever seen. very cool.

i am bringing home two seized polini kits, and one busted-ass crank-shaft. two busted stator plates, one eaten-up clutch, a patched-up tube, and a bunch of shot bearings and seals.

great.

our bikes will soon be in boxes and on the plane home.

love lee, and g

USHuAIA! and onwards!

2007-03-14T16:23:00.000-07:00

WEll that is correctO, we made it and damn beautiful it was. Snow capped mountains, weird camel/deer running around everywhere, and ostriches, pretty sick. The landscape down there is something else, and the city at the end of the world, is quite what you would want it to be, minus the tourism.

Anyhow we chilled there for two days , soaked it up , then hit the road, we are now back in Rio Gallegos, and in about 30 minutes we are headed west for some glacier action. about a 200 mile detour but well worth it I think. Then we head back for comodorro to pack up and head home.

All has gone rather well though, no more breakdowns, and we are straight cruisen at a sweet 40-45 mph.

-fact- deerskin is not waterproof, neither is leather. how do all the deer and cows keep from bloating I don´t understand.

Well we are off into the sunset, on our way to perito moreno, one huge ass glacier,

soon,

g and lee.

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we made it to ushuaia

2007-03-10T18:52:00.000-08:00

full update coming soon. we are alive.

CAMERA Broken....son of a .......

2007-03-08T10:40:00.000-08:00

That is right folks, last night we got into the last city right before you enter into tierra del fuego, called Rio Gallegos. As we rode around looking for a hotel , so we could charge the camera battery, WHAM! I hit a giant hidden bump in the road, which sent me catapulting in the air and upon landing sent my back ortlieb bag flying into the air at 40 mph. As I watched it tumble over and over , lee lee blocked it from traffic running over it, I thouht, hmmmm, that isn´t good, the lense on that camera is like a 1000 $ and oh yeah, we are here filming a MOVIE. SON of a BITCH!

we found a hotel, Had a look at the camera and at first glance everything seems fine, the lens isn´t broken, the body look ok, but when recording and upon playback , you get this funny digital junk everywhere, and it eats tapes now, SUCK SO BAD. so now we are here in this blasted city waiting on this stupid siesta to be over (nap time for the rest of the world) so the stores will open and we can go buy a new one. South america hates us.

Otherwise , everything is good, and our health is soo soo, lots of coffee is good for my heart I think. well I am done, lee wants to talk.

LEE-

After trying to build grahams engine until 7 in the morning that fateful fisrt day in comodoro, i discovered that on of my tires had been slashed. i final attemp to stop us from finishing our journey, there was a slash mark on the tire that didn´t go deep, and a puncture below it that went straight into the tube. great no spares. patch it up, hole at the valve, too. cant be patched, great. Ride it flat. SOuthward bound we were!!

we didn´t get very far until we got lost outside comodoro and picked a windy, sandstorm-of-a-street-corner and try and patch the tube again. G noticed a agv helmet inside a house which means these are moto people.so i knocked on the door and asked if they had any solutions for me. they brought me a tiny little bicycle wheel, 16inch, same as a bmx and slapped it on my bike and we were off. problem solved.

Next: ´grahams bike is gonna explode at any minute. He was riding all day with the engine sounding like crap. we tuned all day until he finally siezed it. stuck it. thankfully it was a softsieze and we could fix it. Points replaced. tuned and done.

crap, i`ve been on the compudadora for too long now. long story short. everything is ok. i hope. we will be in ushuaia soon.

Things that happened, that we hate.

g´s bike

-Rito crank hitting the engine case

- engine case smaller than most cases

-seized polini

-untuneable bike, constant 4 stroking.

-pinging noise , constant

-blown tailight bulb

-ponts blown, new ones put in.

-wiring harness fell off, caused stress in the high winds

- carb banjo rattled loose

lee´s bike

-basket fell off while riding

-flat tire, no new tubes, replaced with 16 inch x1 bicycle tube (bmx) wheel.

-Bad stator, wiring solder came apart, new stator installed

- leaking seal, screw it , we running strong

-headlight fell off, reinstalled

-renamed, new man´s maxi aka randy newman(you´ve got a friend in me)

the End, onwards to tierra del Fuego!!!!

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THE CRANK WONT FIT, WHAT!

2007-03-03T09:47:00.000-08:00

Big suprises constantly surround you when you try to moped in another country.

BUT, WE made it, to comordoro, the place where I last left lee- We are staying in the same hotel, building our bikes yesterday and today. People remember us, it is cool..

Didnt seem to forget anything but, ok whats this, my BRAND NEW RITO crank, doesnt fit in my stock one speed case. IT hits on the bottom and on the sides, so weird., what a shitty thing to happen so far away-

buT NOW it is time to get crafty, start sawing, and grinding things I guess. We won{t be stopped, maybe slowed down, but not stopped-

Plan today, grind my engine into fitting, build ,. tune, ride tomorrow, wish us luck.

love lee and g

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BACK IN ARGENTINA!!

2007-03-01T03:16:00.000-08:00

well we are officially here.

We arrived safely , with all mopeds and parts, and are about to get on a bus down to Comordoro. IT is where I left from last time and where the missing movie footage left off. Should be quite a experience seeing it all again.

Tomorrow when we arrive, we will build our bikes and engines and hit the road.

Onwards, TO TIERRA DEL FUEGO,

the farthest city in the world.

love g and lee.

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is this working,,,,,,

2007-02-24T04:03:00.000-08:00

hello, check one two. check one toooooooo.

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EMERGENCIA EN SUDAMERICA

2006-05-17T15:30:00.000-07:00

After all hell has broken loose, things only got worse. My bike has been shipped to Buenos Aires via truck, not on my BUS like was planned. It will arrive late in the day giving me a 2-3 hour window to make my flight home. But that is just the beginning. Or caurse we all know that my trip is bound for problems. A man walks up to me while im waiting on some bench and asks me in english, hey, where can i go make a long distance call? i say and point the direccion, over there, in the telefonica store He thanks me and walks towards it. About 10 seconds later i reach for my backpack and, WHAT THE DEVIL??? WHERE IS MY BACKPACK??? i frantically jump up and freak out. I ask the two jerks who were sitting on the bench where the hell is my backpack, and they point in the dirrection that the ¨ladron¨(thief) fled. I sprint down the termial yelling, cursing and all-out screaming, thief!!!! f- you this sucks THEIF THEIF THEIF!!! and many more swears that im not gonna write. The man dissapeared into the crowds of people and i lost him.

POLICE DID NOTHING, SECURITY DID NOTHING

list of things i lost;

-passport
-credit card/check card
-digital DV camera and two full cassets (all footage since graham left)
-yerba mate, cups, metal mate straws (gifts)
-sand from Tiera del fuego for nick grande (a gift)
-California ID
-100 pesos
-South America Map
-Argentina Map
-two jars of dulce de leche (for people who LOVE nuttela)
-my cell phone
-disosable camera
-eli´s engine stud
-number of jets and chain breaker tips

THIS SUCK MAGOR BALLS!!!!! I HATE MY LIFE I ALMOST CRIED!!! I JUST WANNA COME HOME!!! I MISSED MY FLIGHT, COST ME 300 DOLLARS TO CHANGE MY FLIGHT!!!! WHERE IS MY MOPED!!!! I JUST WANT TO COME HOME!!! OBVIOUSLY SOMEBODY HATES ME!!!!

THE WORLD IS F-------D AND IT JUST WANTS TO F------ YOU!

love lee, still stuck in south america

ps. luckily i found a sweet 200$ in my money belt,, yay! sorry graham, the tapes are gone......

last post ever

2006-05-13T16:23:00.000-07:00

the trip is done. i just had poor mans maxi washed and it is ready to be disasembled. everything is done. i have a lot of things to say but i feel that most are gonna stay in my head, my head alone, until they are coincidently brought up in casual conversation. Otherwise, dont ask me, ¨how was your trip¨. Honestly, that is a question i cannot ever answer.

Love Lee

end of the line

2006-05-09T11:12:00.000-07:00

i have arrived at tierra del fuego, (actually i arrived yesterdasy morning) and will be in ushuaia (farthest city in the world) in a matter of hours. There i will stay for two days to get some rest. This is the coldest place i have ever been in my life (40-30 degrees F were talkin) i hate tierra del fuego.

i miss you graham, you deserved to be here with me man. (not the horrible place, but the satisfaction.)

love lee

The right way , I guess. g flys home

2006-05-07T10:04:00.000-07:00

Lil buddy goes to tierra del fuego, solo moped mission. All is well though, we love each other.

G flys home for personal reasons. Thanks for all the support everyone, I don´t think either of us would have made it as far as we did without all of you. Things change , and mistakes are made, but life goes on, See you all soon.

Sorry. g

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This is a ######## to write, G flys home

2006-05-06T21:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Creatures and moped people world round. I will now tell you about my life.

This is a ######## to write right. I am not quite sure how to do this... sorry but I must get this off my chest. Bare with me.

Before I left on this journey, I had a beautiful girlfriend, more money than most times in my life, and things were going pretty damn well. Creatures were flourishing, and moped life seemed to be great. But lurking in the dungeon of my heart was a great anger and bitterness. Lost love lurked and waited, biting only those close to me, and causing the chaos that some might have seen hiding in my eyes.

I have traveled to a great deal of places, and am very thankful to have had these opportunities in life. Most of all was the feeling I felt while on the road, the feeling of freedom and the ability to clear my mind and let things go, that seem impossible to let go of in the city, with all the work and stress, and just Life.

Traveling has seemed to help me in life, and this time it definitely was what I needed. I wasn´t giving my girlfriend my complete love that she deserved, I felt I was wasn´t to my friends either, especially the ones closest to me, and just wasn´t completely there anymore.

This south america thing started as a Mexico mission, a quick month or two ride, but soon developed into , what the hell if we go that far why not go all the way, South america mission. We had a large crew, but with time most dropped out, due to lack of money and time, and responsibilities. Two left zack and I took this serious and decided to go for it. I knew my brain could use it, and he was just zack, one hell of a moped charger. Ready for anything.

MY girlfriend I don´t think understood completely that this was just more than a 6 month play time, for me at least. I couldn´t hack the city anymore. I needed to clean the slate. ANd the road held the eraser (that is gay huh).anyhow.

We spent every waking hour preparing, and the time came, the rain let up, our bikes stayed running, and we said the hard goodbyes. When we left that day, I wasn´t sure I had made the right decision, I gave soo much up, would this be worth it.

My lovely Rie and I talked and she decided to wait for me, which to my suprise helped me alot along the way. WE reached Panama in under 2 months, and Rie flew down to meet me, I had never been so in love in my life(should I be writing all this, what the hell). My Lost Heart was regaining it´s strength, and with her I felt at that time a complete peace. There was love and her vacation was over, but mine was to continue for another 2 months.

When you leave someone behind, can you expect them to wait, I now say no, but then I thought so. The trip to me became a race to get back to her, a race to the tip of south america.

We have been charging day and night, enjoying the ride , but nevertheless , charging, Every country has held a new excitement, and Argentina held the greatest for me, because I knew that soon I would see love again.

Oh my Rie chan, she has grown a lot since I left, made new friends, and her life is exactly where she wants it to be. But I am not in it. And as she told me all this, My Heart dropped for the thousandth time in this short life of mine. I freaked out, and did as I usually do, try to fight to save whom I love.

Zack and I sat down for a business meeting in a little town called sarimeinto, argentina. Where I ordered a piece of chicken and they brought me a whole chicken, zack ate some lettuce and mashed tators. I spilled my gullet to him as I do to all out there now. My heart was in my pants, and sleeping was non-existent at this point. I just couldn´t stop thinking, and thinking, and thinking. I felt insane for that week, and with the mopeds breaking down 2 or 3 times a day, that wasn´t helping.

I was imagining worst case scenarios, and being so far from home that is a easy thing to do. I just kept thinking I can´t lose her, what if I do, damn this trip, I have to save this, I have too. I had to do what was important for my life, and she was held high over this trip, even though we were so close, I just couldn´t go anymore, I was weak and the beauty of the land meant nothing anymore.

Zack , my lil buddy, respected my decision to go back for her. We decided though that the legacy must continue , and his dream of a solo moped mission was about to come true, just not on the ultimate touring moped like he imagined.

We rode to the next city , Commordoro Rividavia, which was to be our last ride together, a very sad time for me and lil buddy. WE packed up my bike and my gear, Big man maxi gave his engine to poor man maxi, along with some other goodies and gave our hugs, and off I was, and off zack was , onwards toward Teirra del Fuego.

So here I am now , in Buenas Aires, I fly home tomorrow, and somewhere just tonight as I found out I would be going home to nothing , I found peace. I have no home, no money , maybe fewer friends, no girlfriend and a uncompleted mission. But I feel great, Clear and Different somehow. Life feels good again, and I feel the new chapter of my life is begining.

I know this was way too long and sappy, but I had to tell you all how crazy and stupid and happy and completely lost I am, and what happens now I don´t know. Lil buddy will make it, and this was the way it had to be, and so now it is his trip, I belong to this blogger no more, I turn it over to you FATBOY.......

thanks , and see you all at moped monday hopefully, where you can beat me and call me names and watch my magnum fly past you.

I love you all.. g (over and out)

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poor man maxi update PATAGONIA

2006-05-03T15:15:00.000-07:00

well. ive really done it this time!!!! I just recovered from a flat tire, (the gazelle was PUNCTURED by a tiny little piece of metal) and i was calmly cruising through argentina, a i slowed down to 25, 20, 15, 7, 2, full stop. what could be the porblem?? well i´ll tell you. My fuel filter was completely clogged and my points were completly worn down. all the way so that they wouldn´t open. well, i clean the filter and file the points couse i dont rewally feel like replacing them. bike starts, and im cruisin again, solid 25mph.. and WHAM.. clic clic clic clic clic clic.... bike shuts off. i thought the crank busted again, but nope, the circlip that hold the clutch assembly together popped out and longed itself between the crank and the case. So i spend the next 4 hours in the heats on the side out the road repairing my clutch, points and down-gearing from 16tooth to 14 tooth to help with the hills. I sent graham a note via passerby to tel him to wait up. Done, 1 day wasted.

later that night my bike shuts off again going up a hill.. i look down to find all my as has spilled out of the carb. i take a poo on the side of the road, then fix the leak. get goin, and the bike fuel starves. fix it again and were are on our way.

Next day. im just riding along, 3 miles from the next town.. and FOOHMP, wwrrrrrrrrrrr. bike slows to a stop. i look down and find that the spark plug has been ejected from the head and was hanging by the boot!!!! high compression head shot my plug clean out again when i tried to put it back in. i walk the bike for about 1 mile and then someone finally stops a gives me a ride to meet graham, who has the extra cylender head... i clean my piston and cylender at the gasstation to find that the exhaust port has be closed to the size of a pencil (ussually the size of a quarter (25cents) ) due to carbon build up. the pipe clogged as well. I put every thing back together and now i can hit a solid 35-38mph solid. i think were gonna make it.....

grahams bike still has M.M.D. his points were messed up....

Graham is also suffering from severe Cardio Rompio (broken heart) we must return to the loin soon. Patagonia is like Kryptonite to us creatures.

Love lee

WE ARE DOIN THIS, ARGENTINA

2006-05-01T05:15:00.000-07:00

IT has been a long , long , very long dream, and the time is near when it all comes to a end. Tierra del Fuego is calling us, and we are so close I can feel my toes bleeding ice.

We rode and pedaled our way across the border today, it was a pretty steep pass, but we made it, and finished the day with a little icy patagonia night riding. IT is quite beautiful here, but with all beauty there must come coldness. And it has arrived.

WE stopped at our favorite gas station today for the last time, for a little breakfast and coffee. Copec, what a great thing, a little pricy , but well worth the penny. IT has become such a icon for us, it is hard to let it go. HEre you are night riding through the icy deserts of chile, and wham , right in the middle of nowhere you find a space station called copec, where you can get quality gas, reall good coffee treats, and Hot dogs for days. What a dream, Copec we´ll miss you. Argentina , what you got.

I love coffee, even when it makes me poo on highways.

Lee loves cruising above 30 mph when his bike allows it.

We both love finding warm goodies to buy at our dream station , copec.

Hills love us pedaling up them.

Approximate days left, 10. Poor man maxi please come through for us... g

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WE ARE DOIN THIS, ARGENTINA

2006-04-30T21:10:00.000-07:00

IT has been a long , long , very long dream, and the time is near when it all comes to a end. Tierra del Fuego is calling us, and we are so close I can feel my toes bleeding ice.

I love coffee, even when it makes me poo on highways.

Lee loves cruising above 30 mph when his bike allows it.

We both love finding warm goodies to buy at our dream station , copec.

Hills love us pedaling up them.

Approximate days left, 10. Poor man maxi please come through for us... g

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poor mans maxi is really doing it this time!!!!

2006-04-27T17:51:00.000-07:00

The mag wheel is a disaster, but its doing the job. My poor-man maxi has pulled me past the 10,000 mile mark!!!! thats right, we have almost riden farther that the jerk in canada!!!!! (he did 11,500 miles on a motobecane.) Chile has been a damned expensive country, mostly the food a gas are killing us right now.

We had a small touch of M.M.D. (mysterious moped disease) which is when you moped has spark, compresion, gas, everything, but just wont start. I caught it the night my wheel exploded, had it for two days, then passed it to graham, who has had it for almost 5 days now..... HOWEVER!!!!! M.M.D. has been conquered!!!! We found that you just need a HOTTER SPARK PLUG!!!! or that your PLUG GAP is too big. For everyone reading this who works on mopeds, you have just saved yourself HOURS of pointless work.

Shipment Details: we requested new cranks, clutches, new polini, new engine block, and another kickstand. All were gathered, but i just found out that there are no DHL outlets past Santiago, and we blasted Santiago yesterday. Maybe Poor-mans-maxi will just have to come through for me on this epic moped journey.

We are approaching the "german" part of south america, and graham and i just helped ourselves to a few pints of the FINEST german beer: kunstman. Very find german beer, popluar among the many germans here that we have heard so much about but not yet seen. Strange.

Cold fronts approaching as we will be crossing into Argentina soon...home streach..yep

We really doin it this time!!!

WHO PUT THE HEX ON LEE,, WE MUST FIND THEM AND DESTROY THEM....

2006-04-19T10:10:00.000-07:00

Ok, That is the new goal Creatures, find everyone that ever new lil buddy and gently talk to them and if they don´t give you answers , Pound them.

WE put our last spare crank in fatties bike, got it running and charged into Chile, have done about 300 miles into the desertious country and wham, ONce again the poor man maxi takes one and is down.

LEE BROKE A back FIVE STAR MAG; IN HALF,, yes, IN HALF. ALL but 2 spokes snapped, and the Rim actually broke in 3 places. WHAT THE F. Can´t believe it. Anyway we are trying to weld it now, and it ain´t working too good, it looks like a mutant egg. We are in Iquique , Chile, and we have no faith anymore, and we need some serious something, I don´t know, but we need it.

Oh and more bizarre news, I was cruising along at a sweet 40mph yesterday in the middle of the desert, and Cuplow, the engine just clanked like a machine terd and shut off. The clutch seemed the victim so I plunged inside , to find what, OH a Broken in half clutch drum, YEs the drum broke in half, WHAT ! Never thought that would happen, popped our only spare in , retuned the clutch , a little haggard i might add, for the broken drum ate it alive. But we out of clutches so it works , whatever., Off we charged. But the Broken wheel is something else, IT´s a MAG for God sake.

I should go check the progress, WE love you guys, write us please. g

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DAY BLAH BLAH BLAH, all hell has broken loose

2006-04-14T19:41:00.000-07:00

Straight at ya..

Peru, almost done, so close, 200 miles to go today, and Wham hit like a fly in the eye, Lil Buddies connecting rod snaps like a twig, crushes polini like a semi might if it could run over your piston, and destroyed most of the guts of the poor one speed.

Now we lurk in dungeon hotels trying to figure out a way for lee to keep his mind, and make it to Tierra del Fuego, without buying a motorcycle to take him there.

I Really didnt think it would come to all this, but it has. We are loosing our minds, the road has destroyed us, the Machine is killing us, and there only but Wee mopeds, I dont get it. How can it be this hard. The mind is a feeble thing.

Anyhow , Lee is super bummed, this is like his third engine rebuild in 2 weeks or less, and I feel for the little guy. My bike has been flawless this trip, Mostly, and I am still going mad, I cant imagine the mind job he is facing. He is lurking in the hotel right now fearing the 4th rebuild. This one will be the hardest, we have to get seriously creative to make this POOR MANS MAXI run again.

Times are hard down here in the deserts of Peru. MInd jobs, DAMN.....

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DAY 93, all about Equador,and Peru ,we a little behind

2006-04-09T18:02:00.000-07:00

RIDERS

-g -machine- Big Man Maxi

-Lee aka( lil buddy) aka(fat boy) aka (Saskatchewan dealer) -machine - Poor Man`s Maxi

Current placement, Lima, Peru.

Current moods, g- sick,, Lee -stuck

Whats going on at the moment- Fat boy is attempting to further his knowledge in the realms of , well simply put, the innards of the Puch engine.

-problems at the moment-

Poor mans maxi

-broken brand new polini ring

-fried 4th clutch

-Mysterious clutch drum movement, maybe the cause of the destruction

-Bearing loose on clutch side, where the bearing clip sits in the case,

-crank moves in not so hot a motion, left to right, yes we talking about the base of the crank

-exhaust leak as usual

-busted mag seal

-taillight , negative amount of light

-Kickstand busted for the second time

-low spirits

Big Man Maxi

-Taillight, negative amounts of light(cant find bulbs either)

- broken heart, longs to be reunited with shocking pink queen

-Gas money spent, lee 282 dollars, g 280 dollars-

Now to business, Ecuador, long gone, but what a time it was. A short time, cause we blasted that sucka , but damn good and beautiful. We cruised into the lushish green country without a problem, except for our evil friend Mr. Altitude on our backs. A quick re-jetting and coffee and we were off. Enjoying the not too steep mountains we cruised along at a sweet 40 mph and hadn't a care until Saskatchewan dealers bike just shut off mid down hill bomb. Of course it was raining, and a quick re-jetting put us back on the road, oh but no, it happened again down the road a bit. We went over all possibilities and decided it was water in the cylinder. Done, now still nothing. OK so a new plug, nada, ok water in the gas, huh, lots of re-jetting, nothing. We got sick of standing in the rain, so Lil buddy hitched a ride on a truck about 3 kilometers to the next sheltered gas station.

We stayed there a good 2 or 3 hours trying everything we new, and finally looked in the mag, to find a gooey stator plate, and a busted seal. He put new stator in , and put a wad of silicone high temp goo on the seal to hold all the goodies in. The bike still wouldn't start,, Dammit is what we said.

Fatboy opted to go to a moto shop and use some electrical gadgets to fix the poor mans maxi. So he sucked in the gut and pushed the overloaded maxi up a nice sized hill to reach a mechanico. There he used the gadgets and determined no power existed in either of the stator plates. I pulled out of Ortlieb number 2 a pristine piece of equipment called a dry stator plate, in it went and Lil buddy regained his machine.

Cruising steady now, we hit everything in life you live to see, gorgeous mountain ranges, breathtaking switchback downhills that lasted for like a whole day, thank God we weren't going the other direction. Stayed in Plush hotels and lived the good life , except the Coffee turned into Nescafe, and you couldn't find the good stuff anywhere. We hit the capital in 2 days , Quito, Blasted it, and headed for the coast, where the road would be much more flat and put us right into Peru's coastal PANAM. I believe a total of 4 days to destroy Ecuador. NOt bad, oh and here is a interesting fact in case you guys didn't know, cause we sure didn't , They use American Dollars, and gas is $1.50 a gallon, so nice, so cheap, we loved it.

Bikes still good.

Peru. We charged in mid day, to find one of the crowdedest borders so far. Got out of there ASAP, and charged all day, doing a whopping 220 mile day. The Coast is crazy flat here, and mostly desert. Next day, we charged 160 miles, The next day we did 230 miles through some of the most beautiful desert you could imagine. Winding dune roads, Foggy cold ocean slash Desert, high winds, and lots of sand in our mouths, but with pleasure, It was a golden ride. Four days brings us to Lima, we got here last night after conquering a 260 mile day, which left me under the weather, was a cold and windy ride.

Lee cracked his engine today, to find lots of goodies gone bad, as seen above. Now the brainstorming begins, we have become genius's you know. We plan to leave Lima Tuesday, if all goes well, we need to pick up a few goodies when the stores reopen. IT is the Presidential elections here now, so all is crazy and closed.

- things to get, new gloves, we need em bad style, 2 stroke oil, we out of motul, and just gonna run dino oil , unless motul lurks here, but doubtful. Lil buddy needs a new sleeping bag, his fell off his bike, due to lack of bungee.

Well that brings us up to date, and i hope all you Creatures out there are livin well. Oh and Lil buddy isn't really Fat , just a little, he eats hella Bread, And I mean HELLA. He is the man with many names.

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DAY 90, Colombia part 3

2006-04-06T17:56:00.000-07:00

Ok, HEre we are, no moola, a 14 year to take care of and no mopeds, they stayed on the boat. The Terds company had a office in Bahia Solono and said they would refund us our money , but we would have to pay for the peds when we arrived to Buenaventura. So began the brainstorming. No boats for 7 days, no roads out of there but hey there is a airport. We talked to the plane company, and found out there was a friday flight to Medillion, from there we could take a bus to Buenaventura. BUt we still had no money,and so began the talking into of a free flight. We had a hell of time, but eventually the helpful people of Satena airlines said No, but there was a cargo company called DePrisa who shipped us straight to Medillion no problem.

Lee- After spending all of thursday investigation my STOLEN IPOD, we came to a dead end when Willie had been taken in by the army folk and was protected completely from our intimidation. Little punk. We ended up finding out that some guy took my ipòd out of my back while they were in "storage" and tried to sell it to Willie. An eye-witness confirmed this and the police did nothing. I gave up. I wanted to kill Willie. Anywhoo, we awoke friday morning and got a ride to the airport with the worst driver in the world, he was practically blind. He ever ran over the tiniest cat you´ve ever seen while it was happily sitting on the side of the road. All the passengers groaned.

We waiting for about 3 hours and our plane arrived. It was a short pleasant ride to Medillion. We arrived, and we were escorted to an atm and paid our dues. We found a direct bus to BuenaVentura which took us there over night. We got to the bus terminal and headed straight for the Terd boat office. We got there and talked to the laidies in the office who gave us the run-around for an hour and the bikes were locked up in the office!!!! rediculas. We got em, mad some repairs and were off!!!! Went to immigration office, became legal, and found a nice quite quicki-hotel for the night.

The next day we headed for CALI. I quickly realized that my 50cc kit was not going to cut it. So i spent 4 hours pedaling up hill, while graham sped up it and waited for me. Somewhere in the middle of my pedaling, i called my dad to arrange for two polini piston rings to be sent to CALI immediatly. Finally i got my ass over the summit, and we decended into CALI, where we found ourselves in the Hotel MOTO CLUB.

We waited for three days in CALI, riding around the city, with hundreds of other motos, it was so cool. It felt like riding in a gang. We found new GAZELLE TIRES!!! 15 BUCKS EACH!!!! SCORE!!! no luck find MOTUL, what we did find was 30$ a bottle!! NO WAY!! I rebuilt my engine and found that my crank had gone bad. One of the bearings fell off and the other was unbalanced. The problem to my seizing was found!!! I put in Graham´s old crank and put the thing back together. Everything worked perfectly and we were off into Colombia the next day.

HOW WE CONQUERED THE MOUNTAINS OF COLOMBIA:

The polinia couldn´t always hack it up to 6000 meters (about 18,000 feet) so we would simply pedal our asses off until a slow truck would pass us. With all your streangth, hold on and don´t get sucked under!!! And don´t get bumped off the road!! My clutch eploded again and i built myself and new one out of three old broken clutches. Worked perfectly.

When we were able to cruise, it was AWSOME! the mountians were so beautiful and it was just like you were flying through them. THe buses just flew by you also, but damn that looked scary. No bugs cause we were so high up. The air was thin and we were jetted at 64 the whole time. TINY HUH?? I drank 15 coffees in 4 days and Graham drank 14. Its really what they say it is!!! DAMN GOOD COFFEE. (We didn´t drink any in Jurado cause they didn´t have anything but NesCafé.)

day 84 Colombia part 2

2006-03-31T16:24:00.000-08:00

g- We did go insane though eventually, and all the Coco (coconut) chopping and bat murdering in the world couldn´t prevent this.

By Bat Murders I mean , well Bat Murders, which Lee didn´t condone by the way. But our little shack was invested with the things, and OUr little champion VIDA did´t mind pulling out his special bat spear to do a little killin . HE would just climb right on up in the attic , right into their Lair, and start attacking, then he would frantically run in and out of the house spearing all the flying critters. Total killed 9 Murcielagos(bats)

Oh but somehow the next day they were all back, hmmmm...

WE waited and waited and everyone seemed to have a different answers on when the boat would come, but it never would. So we kind of gave up, cause it only made it worse anyway. Lee chopped the wooden front stairs as usual with machete, I read my book (thanks newport,, and Rie for sending it too me) and routine went on for nearly forever . WE cooked on the mini gas stove I brought, ever night, tons of eggs, potatoes and canned peas, all with no taste, life on Jurado.

LIST OF THINGS TO DO ON JURADO(isle de encanto).

-Chop coco´s, which lee did every waking moment he could.

-Work on mopeds , which we made last for a solid 3 or 4 days, longest piston cleaning ever.

-Sit on front porch and chop stairs with machete, lees favorite pass time.

-Lay in bug invested somewhat of a house main room on sleeping mat ,and read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle maintance, while killing bugs ever two paragraphs.

-Go to the beach and try to swim, but relize it is really a trash heap, and there are 3 eyed fish everywhere.

-Play invented game by me, g, Called sprocketshoe, which is like horse shoes, but you use useles Motobecane sprockets that were sent to you to make you go up hills faster, but they don´t fit. not that we´re not thankful, THAnks Ben-jammin for the parts, they just didn´t fit oh well.

-Walk to the cento real slow like, and get pepsi´s, and warm bread if your lucky.

-Play soccer with next door neighbor Vida, aka batboy, with the shitiest ball you ever did see.

-Go talk to English speaking gangtar Raquel, who like to say Awwwww SHIIITT,

-talk about things you wished you were doing.

-Tell the same story over to people , over and over again...

There is much more but you folks will have to wait for the movie.

I can´t write to much more about that tiny little shithole anyway , except ONe day we awoke , and Vida´s dad came over to our crib and said hey , the boats here. HA, yeah right, the boat is non existent by this time. In fact though, as we looked out to sea, we saw a huge floating terd coming our way, Big blud terd. We waited most of the day for it to float it´s way down the river to unload all the goods, and float is all it is good at, a five mile an hour float.

When it got in , the whole town gathered round to pull all their goods from the terd, and we hopped aboard to talk to el capitán. Lil buddy and I were so excited, we didn´t even here capitán say , sorry bout ya, this is a cargo terd(ship ) only, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh but if we get permisso´s from the fuzz and military it will be cool. YAY, so we spent the next day running around like monkies , trying to get permission, and after about 12 hours we had them. So that night we loaded our faithful mopeds on the boat and watched 10 buff Juradoians manually load 400 pound pieces of wood onto their back and onto the ship, KNAR KNAR. We camped in the lumber yard that night, and awaited the 430am wake up.

IN the AM, we awoke and packed up, walked over to the boat where we met out DRunken crew loading yet more shite. when they were done we hopped on and set for sea. There was lots of whisky being drank, and most the crew was oblitterated at 4 in the morning. I saw Lee take a sip. Anyhow the terd had a little trouble getting into the sea, cause tide was coming in and the terd couldn´t fight the waves, so we had to shill a bit, BUT WE WERE FREE; YES FREE , nothing mattered except getting to mainland and we were on our way.

OUR ship, The MARGHIN, Crew , 12 members

Capitán, Segundo(treasurer), Tercero aka JAMEs, Alfredo(the nineteen year old fresh prince), JustO( Morgan Freeman), Benito(Mike Tyson), Jaire( ETonce, the Cook), Super black guy(POPEYE) , Willy(the 14 year old stow-away), Crazy Mechanico,Old Man, and SNAKELIPS 2.

Without a doubt this turned out to be the best crew ever, We made friends fast, and each turned out to have a heart of gold, despite appearances, well except Willy(the 14 year old) who turned out to be a thief. This Giant Terd turned ship, went from a 2 day boat ride to a 6 day ride in a matter of minutes, Snakelips 2 in charge of wood (cargo), decided to pick up wood every 5 miles or so and get loads of water monkies to swim it out, so began the waiting game again.

OUr first semi half way mark was Bahia Solono, a town a little bigger than Jurado, and they some cars and a airport. Here we were supposed to show our permisso´s to the fuzz and off we would be , But think again.

We get into town, dock the boat, and Lil buddy , Alfredo , and I head into to town for some treats and beers. Lee and I have about 10,ooo pesos each in our pockets(5 bucks) and see no problem with lavishly spending some loot, cause in 2 more days we will be in Buenaventura and be able to reload cash ATM stlye. We drank , we ate , and in the morning we got kicked off the boat. The fuzz said our Permisso´s were shit, and said sorry this is a cargo boat only, no passagers allowed. So me Lee and Willy were stuck again, we had like a dollar left and Willy the thief, had jack shit. We kind of flipped and couldn´t believe this was happening again, but it was, and once again we found ourselves just missing the last LAncha to Buenaventura, which was a passenger boat. Next one 7 days away. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

PS more to come, sorry bout all this, were about to cross into equador tommorow, details when ya´ll are up-to-date. :)

Day 81, COLOMBIA , PART 1

2006-03-28T16:40:00.000-08:00

WE are getting so HIGH off the coffee , it is Ridiculous.

LB- So here´s how it goes: we left panamá city that fateful friday night, and slept outside on a tiny cargo boat with about fifty other people--all packed like sardines. Graham slept on top of a long mysterious box ,that we assumed was loaded with guns, and i slept on top of two vertical refrigerators. Total spent: 64 dollars each.

We arrived at the panamanian border, Jaque, at noon. A small speed boat, which we call a "Lancha", carried us to shore, dodging waves and the current to ride in safely. Total spent: 2.50 dollars each for Lancha. Here we met Otavio, or as we came to call him, Snakelips. He offered to take us into Colombia in his Lancha. We accepted. With this, came the use of his half-built house to pitch up our tent for the night in Jaque, we will leave for Colombia in the morning.

Breakfast was bread and cheese, with which we have become all to familiar with, except without the cheese. We put all of our bags and both mopeds into the Lancha and speed of for Colombia. Snakelips hissed and his marina boy, Little buddy #2, get the water out of the fuel line on the boat´s engine. Hsssssssssss... said snakelips. Total spent: 85 each for 2-hour lancha ride. (we got JackeD)

We arrived in a town called Jurado, where we would spend the next two weeks. Aparently, Jurado is not actually connected to Colombia. It´s an isolated un-self-sustained little island on the coast of Colombia, and we need to wait for another boat to get to Buena Ventura. "El barco se fue ayer." said a boy. "The boat left yesterday." And the next one would come in two weeks. Snakelips told us to relax, and that we could us his storage shed to keep our stuff and put our tent up on his property, a run-down piece of crap that is also home to millions and millions of these tiny little bugs that are everywhere. I wouldn´t be surprised to find some hiding somewhere in one of my bags when we return.

Jurado is a 2-mile long thin strip on land on the Pacific coast. It has one main street running all the way down from north to south. The ocean lays on one side, trash heap number one(literally), and the river runs along the other, trash heap number 2, making Jurado physically and island. The river begins from the ocean on the northern tip, and exits again into the ocean at the southern end. No supermarkets, only little "tiendas", shops run out of people´s homes. Our main tiendas were panaderia, next-door lady, LimA store(equals file store)like a file to file metal shite down, beer dude, and pepsi lady. Oh, and a few street verdors: french-fry lady and icee dude.

We changed a total of 105 dollars with SnakeLips into Colombian Pesos. SInce there wasn´t a bank on the "Ise de Encanto" we unfortunately had to entrust our well-being into SnakeLips hands(that bastard). 50 was to buy a boat ticket, the other 55 was to live for two weeks. And so began the rationing of Pan (bread), and our daily routine, so as not to go completely insane.

-To be continued-

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DAY 80 something update coming soon

2006-03-27T17:02:00.000-08:00

IT is a long one so be prepared,

give us a bit more time, you won´t be dissappointed,,

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2006-03-15T19:00:00.000-08:00

yo, we in colombia stuck on an island waiting for a
boat for like three weeks now. theres no roads but
luckily there';s girls and lots of coke.

benji got us new polini rings, rad.