Squirrels are Evil!

my new dog couch!!

2008-07-18T06:32:00.000-04:00

last nite my lindsay came home in my dog-u-v with a HUGE thing sticking out of the trunk! i yelled and yelled at it to stay away as it wuz backing up to my house but my randy just hushed me and said "don't wake ben up!!" and he looked reelly mad so i hushed.

then my peepol brot the huge thing into my house and i wuz kinda skared of it until i realized that it wuz a new dog couch just for me!

see? it even matches my fur! how thotful of my peepol!

i like the new dog couch. it is reelly soft and mushy. thank you peepol!

dogs just want to have fun

2008-07-11T07:39:00.002-04:00

haf you ever noticed how dogs are so much better than peepol wen it comes to fun and games? i wuz watching the 'greatest american dog' show on the magic box and this part made me just shake my head and sigh... it wuz supposed to be a fun game for dogs but are those peepol hafing fun? no, i think not.

Watch CBS Videos Online

Happy 4th of July!

2008-07-04T14:55:00.000-04:00

we are celebrating at my house today. abby dog is staying wif us. i wonder if she knows tonight is the big scary noise night? my bp and i are not afraid of the big splosions outside.

i heard my randy talking about hamburgers for dinner. abby and i will haf to supervise that activity. maybe we'll get some cheese!

celebrate safely my dog friends!

FANGS!

2008-06-29T21:20:00.000-04:00

my dog friends, i never thot i wud say this but my bp is starting to scare me... every day his teeth grow bigger and bigger!

see? aren't those teeth scary looking?

and today he chased me all over the house -- not just in his rolling baby-mobile of doom, either -- he is starting to get around fast on his own paws!! he keeps trying to grab my fur and i just know he is getting ready to sink those teeth into me if he catches me.

i am going to sleep wif one eye open from now on!

thanks benjamin!

2008-06-28T05:22:00.003-04:00

i luv how my benjamin wakes my randy up early even on weekends cuz it means i get brekfest on time every day! i used to haf to wait forever on saturdays to get brekfest but not anymore! thanks my benjamin!

poor under-photographed ivy

2008-06-21T11:11:00.000-04:00

i am starting to notice a disturbing trend: my peepol are not taking as many picktures of me as they used to.

for example... a few days ago me and my randy and lindsay and bp went for a ride-in-the-car to haf a dogventure.

of course my camera came along and i wuz happy to pose for cute ivy picktures as we loaded up.
i kept posing for picktures the whole trip but nobody paid any attention to ivy. instead, my bp got in all the picktures!

see? no ivy in that one.

no ivy there either!

today my bp wuz eating blackberry oatmeal in his lofty throne of yumminess and my randy thot it wuz great fun to take picktures of him. as a matter of fact, my bp is often photographed while he is eating. but does anybody take picktures of me eating my dogfood? no! of corse not! why shud they? *sniff sniff*

i'm just feeling a little under-photographed lately... can you blame me?

Door Blocker!!

2008-06-14T08:16:00.000-04:00

ivy's version:
my benjamin has a new and disturbing babymobile. all of a sudden he went from not being able to chase ivy to faster-than-baby-lightning movement! every time i am not looking for a minute i hear speeding wheels coming up behind me and i haf to run before he grabs my tail! no free rides on the tail! today i ran outside to get away and he blockaded my little ivy door with his wheels of doom! oh no! will i haf to live outside forever? why is my benjamin doing this? i thot he liked me!

ben's version:
zvdds79y54nh tg3rft5tqt wdZ.Q. 2B E3R4RG T46

Source of the Squeak

2008-06-07T18:59:00.000-04:00

my peepol take my benjamin in his room sumtimes and put him on a tall table. there are lots of interesting smells when ben is up there. lately there have been noises too! i keep searching for the squeak. if it squeaks then it must belong to ivy.

hey hey benjamin that squeaky duck belongs to me!
i must have that duck...

loud, stinky bagel!

2008-06-07T11:41:00.000-04:00

this morning i wuz minding my own dog business wen all of a sudden a stinky smell invaded my nose and a terrible screaming beeping sound assaulted my ears!

i ran away and took cover between the magic white drinking bowl-o-plenty and the evil bathtub, but the beeping and stinking kept right on going strong as ever.

my randy waved a magic cape in the air around the flashing red eye that looks down from the ceiling, and recited sum interesting words and the beeping finally quit.

i came out from my place of cover and followed my nose to find wut made the red eye so very mad and this is wut i found:

i think it used to be a bagel.

poor bagel.

sneeky ninja skwerrel!

2008-06-05T20:44:00.001-04:00

a sneeky skwerrel wuz hiding out on my back fence and using his ninja powers to evade detection.

i gess sandy has some sort of super-vision that lets her see invisible ninja skwerrels!

what the hail?

2008-06-02T17:54:00.002-04:00

oh my dogness! we had the biggest, suddenest thunderstorm yesterday!

there wuz crazy wind and buckets of water flying sideways and lightning and thunder and all kinds of stuff going on in the sky. i didnt go out in it even though i like to stand in the rain cuz the last time i tried that i got hit by hail! no more hail for ivy!

the big tree in my front yard that the birds always fight over got so upset about the storm that she lost her head!

good thing it didn't hit my house and mess up my new ruf!

i gess those birds will haf to find some other tree to fight about. ha!

my side of the story

2008-05-27T21:10:00.000-04:00

well dog friends, since nobody seems to be able to interpret my benjamin's writing i guess i need to tell what happened.

my peepol all went for a long ride in the car wifout ivy and they were gone so long it got dark and it wuz past dinnertime and past bedtime wen they all got home. i said wut happened? why did i miss my dinner?? and my randy said he wuz so sorry but traffic wuz reelly bad. i said that if traffic wuz so bad then traffic shud haf missed dinner, not ivy! but of corse nobody wuz lissening to ivy. my randy put ben to bed before he even fed me.

so the next day i looked at the picktures on my dog camera and there are cats and ben wif beer! wuts up wif that? my peepol told me that ben didnt get any beer he just liked to hold the can cuz it wuz pretty. i knew i shud haf gone along. i wuddent haf let cats or beer near my baby ben!

in the cat pickture you can see ben wearing his new bib. this is the coolest bib ever cuz it catches all the yummy food and then i get to lick it off!

gee, i wunder if that cat got to lick the bib cuz i wuzent there? i bet he did. stupid cat!

bgbbbbbbbbbb

2008-05-26T15:49:00.001-04:00

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(that wuz my benjamin writing about his advenchures on saturday. i will tell my side of the story later)
luv ivy

my dog sleeping lessons worked!

2008-05-18T14:09:00.001-04:00

my benjamin learned an important lesson. a good dog can sleep ANYWHERE.

lost a whisker, gained some carrots

2008-05-10T20:06:00.000-04:00

well dog friends, you were rite! you all kept telling me to watch out for benjamin's little hands but i thot you were joking... the little guy couldn't hurt anyone with those little tiny fingers, so i thot.

but then the other day i wuz coming in to lick his face (his face always tastes so good!) and he reached out and pulled one of my whiskers rite out of my nose!! yowzers! that hurt!

i wuz reelly good and i didnt bite or growl. i just cried a bit and made sure not to get close again. i asked my randy why my sweet little benjamin wuz so mean and he said that poor ben didn't have any whiskers of his own and he just wanted to borrow one of mine to try it out. i guess that makes sense.

but today he made it up to me. he wuz eating sumthing brite and orange and he seemed to be reelly luving it!

it looked like it must be so good so i stood close and let my benjamin know that i wanted to try some too.

and guess wut? my baby ben shared wif me! it turned out to be just carrots (why are they feeding the poor boy carrots anyway?) but i ate them all up anyway to be polite.

i told my benjamin thank you for the yummy carrots and that he could keep all the rest of them... and my whisker, too.

My house got a new ruff!

2008-05-01T19:55:00.009-04:00

my peepol haf been all excited and weird and stuff lately. my lindsay took down all the picktures and mirrors from the walls and then they chopped up the last holly tree from in front of our house (i will haf to tell you more about that one later!)

i wondered why my peepol were acting so strangely and i asked them to explain themselves but of course they didnt lissen to me or answer any of my questions. i just had to keep my ears up and finally i heard that my house was getting a new ruff! woo hoo! how cool! hey, wut is a new ruff anyway?

i found out soon enuf! these four guys showed up in a giant truck early in the morning and started making an awful racket in my house. it sounded like my house wuz under attack! i scooted out into my backyard to keep an eye on them from a safe distance!

so now my house has a new ruff. i am just glad that those guys didn't try to change my ruff!!

My Benjamin's New Trick!

2008-04-29T21:24:00.009-04:00

guess what? my benjamin can do a new trick! he can roll over! he looks very pleased wif himself, too.

of corse, he isn't as good at it as i am... and it took him almost five months to learn that trick but it only took me a couple of days and a couple of pork chops. poor benjamin didn't even get a cookie for all his hard work.

i guess dogs are just smarter than peepols at some things!

rain and snow

2008-04-20T08:55:00.000-04:00

i must haf jinxed it! just as soon as i blogged about my beautiful sunshiney back yard, it started to rain.

and my cousins bruce and lois and bella and scruffy actually got SNOW!
http://www.king5.com/topstories/stories/NW_041908WXB_snow_forecast_DS.7c2b5980.html

can you believe it? how lucky are they to get snow?? i wish it wuz snowing at my house instead of just raining.

happy stick day!

2008-04-19T13:08:00.001-04:00

hey hey dog friends! i think spring has sprung in my back yard at long last! the sunshine has been warm and the shade has been cool and the breezes haf been most doglitefully breezy for days and days.

today my randy chased the noisy grass-eater around my yard and it ate up all the grass before he wuz able to stop it. the short grass always makes the birds and the skwerrels very happy for sum reason, so i went out to patrol my yard and make sure those critters know who is boss.

i found a yummy stick to chew on, so i took a break from patrolling to taste its branchy goodness.

then my pink hexapus came to try to steal my stick... but i said no stick for you! and i kept it all to myself

the hexapus left cuz she knew her stick skillz were no match for mine. then i ripped all the bark off the stick just to show any stinky skwerrels who mite be watching wut would happen to them if they dared to show their fluffy tails in my yard today! i think it must haf worked cuz i didnt see any skwerrels at all.

my poor benjamin didnt get any sticks today but it looks like he wuz hafing a good time anyway. some day i will haf to teach him how to skin a stick and keep the backyard safe from invaders. until then i gess i am on my own! it is a tuff job but somedog has to do it!

Stealing from Turbo??

2008-04-13T08:19:00.003-04:00

my dog friends, i never thot i wud say this, but i feel sorry that the noisy carpet-eater finally went to the great happy carpet fields in the sky. mostly i am sorry that it made a horrible stinky smell before it died and made my house all smelly!

so yesterday my lindsay came home wif a brand new carpet eater to make my job of covering the house wif hair a whole lot harder!

hmmmmm... smells like a carpet eater....

but wut is this? i see a name i know on the handle!! did my lindsay steal this carpet eater from turbo??

hey turbo! you want it back? you can haf it!

sweet spots for sleep

2008-04-10T22:05:00.000-04:00

i haf recently discovered that babies are not all bad. they actually come wif some pretty cool stuff like fuzzy toys and reelly soft blankets. i am currently trying to claim this one as my own by sitting on it every chance i get. for some reason my peepol always yell at me wen i do. maybe they are upset becuz it is too small for me and they want me to haf a bigger blanket.

my favoritest place to nap is my dog couch. i haf it all furry so much that my peepol dont like to sit on it so it is all mine.

*sigh* i luv you, dog couch!

happy dog food bag day!

2008-03-30T21:12:00.000-04:00

Bouncy Baby Ben and the Battle of the Bone

2008-03-29T08:51:00.004-04:00

my benjamin is getting so strong and he likes to bounce in his magic levitating seat all the time now! my lindsay made a movie to show everybody and i helped...

wen my benjamin wuz finished bouncing, i gave him kisses! i am not sure wut he thought of that...

now on to more serious business...
for easter i got a reelly cool bone that has peanut butter in the middle! woo hoo!

the problum is that my peepol wanted me to eat it outside in my back yard, but it wuz cold out there! so naturally i brot my yummy bone inside to finish it. my peepol got all mad and crazy and stuff and told me to take it out. so i did, and then i brot it rite back inside again. for sum reason this did not satisfy them and they made me take it out in the cold again! after a few rounds of this i said enuf! this is my house and i live in it more than you peepol and i will eat my bone inside if i want to! and i refused to go back outside. i growled (just a little bit!) and got a spanking and it wuz all very unhappy. in the end i lost the battle of wills and had to eat my bone outside.

*sigh* ivy never wins.

furminashun!

2008-03-22T09:24:00.000-04:00

my dog friends, you were rite. the new thing that came home wif my peepol from seattle is called a furminator, and it is taking away my fur!

every few days my lindsay gets that furminator thing out and makes me sit down and be good while she pets me wif it. it actually feels kinda good but wen it is over i look down and see that a bunch of my fur has abandoned ship!! she runs the furminator all over me except for the top of my head.

this got me thinking... my peepol haf very little fur on them except for the top of theyr heads. does that mean they furminate themselves wen i am not looking? are they trying to make me look like a peepol?? this is most distressing!

cool man ben, yummy cookie and dreamy cream

2008-03-13T14:50:00.001-04:00

well i thot i had finally seen all the picktures from my peepol's trip to seattle and then i found the other spy camera had picktures on it too! my favorite one is of my benjamin riding in the airplane in style.

then i found out that the picktures on the camera were not the only thing that i had been missing from that trip... my lindsay had a super dog cookie for me from my cousins bruce and lois and she forgot to tell me! can you beleeve it? here is a pickture of my lindsay asking me if i want to eat the cookie and me saying yes-yes-yes!

so i think my peepol were feeling guilty about forgetting my cookie (they shud!) becuz today wen my lindsay wuz making cake she gave me the dreamy creamy box to lick!! woo hoo!!

good to the last drop! mmmmmm!

there is one more thing that came home from seattle for me, but i will save telling about that for next time....