Προσευχές

Moving on

2009-11-01T09:52:00.000-08:00

Time flies, 2 more months till the end of 2009.

I don't write much these days. I don't know why. Its not about who's reading my entries nor there's nothing exciting to input. Somehow, many a times, when I stare at this blog space, suddenly I just forgot how to express my thoughts and emotions anymore.

I don't know why this is happening. Could be a spillover effect from work whereby the Head is trying to create an artificial leader in me resulting in an identity crisis. Could be Im just so tired of typing. Could be, well, Im losing touch again with emotions. As how I told J a couple of weeks back "several years ago while I approach life and issue alot immaturely, I certainly enjoyed the rich variety of emotions which I had to go through then. It added alot more colors to life".

I dont know how to describe life these days. Its just... good ? Too good that its plateauing. Sure, I got my performance bonus while other sectors don't. I just received a small (i really mean tiny) salary increment. I was awarded Quarterly Best Service Award. The running book which I contributed 2 chapters just got launched and it was a roaring success. Im gonna be on various media sources soon for my physiological running testing services.

But its just so .... .... stagnant. Looking back the past 14 months, I enjoyed the early period when I was thrown into the deep pit with nothing but just a computer, treadmill and a gas analyser and I had to create miracles. With God's grace, it was accomplished. I recalled the early days when the Head put me to test by making me take on a project which was totally out of my expertise and how I burned Xmas and CNY just to deliver it. And alot more others which all added to contribute to enhance and increased my running physiology knowledge and skills by leaps and bounds.

The things I do these days... Im fast becoming an administrator. Meetings, paper work, budget planning etc. Its really easy life honestly. Too easy. Good salary also.

Sickening.

Never wanted to be an administrator. Everyone else wanted it though.

For many are called but few are chosen. Hence, the first shall be the last and the last will be the last.

I always believed, is believing and want to believe that I am the few chosen ones in my field. Looking back and piecing the moments and events together, its clearer and clearer that I am not just called, but chosen. Its not pride; its faith in destiny.

Of course, there were several enjoyable occasions. Go read about the below lady:

http://kasperskycommonwealthexpedition.com/the-team/sophia-pang.cfm

As me and my left-hand man sent Sophia off 2 nights ago, I still stand in awe of how the Lord graciously led us through Project Antartica Expedition. Possibly the only time when Im not just the Exercise Physiologist but also the High Performance Team Manager for the project. Coordinating and constantly in communication with the other specialists such as the nutritionist, the physiotherapist etc. It was tough initially and doubts haunted me whether can we pull this through. However, I always looked forward to Sophia's strength training with us as the type of stuff we did with her are things which will never be seen in common day to day work. Above all, this lady inspires us with her will power in her life management. A mother of three, she had to juggle between work, training, taking care of 3 young children and managing the house. Days when she came to training tired yet continuing to give her all in dragging the 120kg of load across several kms. For her courage and committment, she was awarded the Women of Our Time a couple of months back and was invited to dinner with the President. Certainly a project worth remembering.

Another would be a running workshop which I personally delivered. Sure, over the years and during these 14mths, I have given short talks, scientific presentations and even spoken to relatively large public crowd. But to do a 2.5 hrs workshop solely on running from scratch was really a big challenge. From the creation of the course book materials to the presentations to getting the shoes for demonstration, everything was single handedly done.

It was a beautiful success. Though only a small crowd (about 18), the company's director was really happy and even extended a personal invitation to their company's tent for makan during this year's SCSM.

These are not self-glorifying moments. But rather, these are projects which I truly enjoyed for on one hand Im utilizing and applying my skills, on the other, it contains a certain magnitude of challenge which is enough to make you doubt yourself at times.

Hovering at the borders of doubt or belief, collapse or triumph, fight or flight. This is what I relish and appreciate.

Early morning cleaning

2009-10-10T12:19:00.000-07:00

We all love to collect rubbish don't we.

At least its true for me.

Just cleared and threw away quite a fair bit of stuff accumulated over the years such as movie post cards, spoiled PS 2 games (got to test them disc by disc damm it), fast food collectibles etc.

I used to be quite a hoarder; as long an item is related to something I enjoy, I must have it; best if its double copies. Hence, most trips to Bangkok would equate plenty of Star Wars / LOTR / Transformers collectibles.

But for my past 3 trips (1 HK + 2 Perth), such practise was kept to its minimum or in fact, hardly. Somehow as you get older, you don't want so much useless stuff around you. Of course, certain habits are still retained e.g. my acquisitions of wine and alcohol in 150 to 300ml sizes. And there's still the once in the blue moon "I see I like I must collect" attitude, with the latest purchase being the Transformer 2 Movie beverage tumbler with an Optimus Prime figure on it.
Yes, Im still a kid at times.

Many are called

2009-09-28T11:34:00.000-07:00

but few are chosen (Mtw 20:16).

Ever since a glimpse of destiny 5 years ago, I always believe Im special.

Not only am I called, I had believed, is believing and want to believe that I am the few chosen one for my field.

Now, show me more ... ...

Keeping the faith at 25

2009-09-06T08:41:00.000-07:00

Was updating my resume when i realized its slightly over a year since I started on my current work. Doing a short stock-check revealed many things which I hardly sat down and ponder about. Its been an interesting 1 year worth of working life, with about 4 more calendar months till the year end.

Work
If I were to demonstrate my work progression in a graphical manner, its one filled with deep valley and peak experiences, but definately on an upward increasing trend. I dont talk much about my work these days; not that there's nothing to say. I dont whine about the shitty things unlike the initial phase. Whine and kao peh too much would only result in self-pity which aint gonna solve the problem. When one keeps thinking everyone around you is plotting against you, the outcome would be you simply cant get anything done. Even when in reality it is true that pple around you are marking u down, waiting to ripe you apart, i realized by adopting the mindset of "The world is my playground, what can I fear", these pple aint much of an issue at all. As I always tell myself, I am the Beta and the Psi; never the Alpha and Omega for that do not belong to me. After a year in my field, im beginning to recognize that opportunities are ample. Im not referring to being a scamming and deceiving "physiologist" like Racer's Toolbox of course, but rather, with proper planning and structuring, many things can be achieved with a few alliances forged here and there. I turned down 2 job opportunities, in fact to the extend of giving one to an accquintance in the same field while the other came as far as from Melbourne. The mindset of lack is the opening step to poverty.

Relationship
Its been an interesting 9 mths, having been out with a few girls without a serious approach of course. Mindset is quite different now, in the sense, i no longer have to fill up an emotional tank. Rather, to approach girls of different characters and have a taste of how each type will interact with mine and the varying outcomes. From there a profiling can be done of each individual class. A little scientific in the approach, but really its just logic and rational. I no longer see age as a barrier, with the oldest among the few being 31. I take things with a lot less emotions, but rather to merely just enjoy each other's company at each outing. Being in this field helps alot; everyday Im forced to talk to strangers of all walks of lives and it creates an extrovert within an introvert. Giving public talks and workshops to progressively huge crowds help to develop one's confidence in speaking and displaying of body language. A leadership position allowed my polishing of the manner i carry myself as well. All these added together, contributed significantly to the way I approach the opposite gender with the intention of knowing her better. For once, Im actually described to be charismatic when I speak, able to communicate well with non-verbal cues .

An open mindset helps alot. I used to think I would never go out with So & so coz her character is the extreme opposite end of mine. In the end, I ate my words; we went for a movie 2 weeks ago followed by a really good conversation late to close mid-night. Right now, we chat almost everyday on msn. Dig beyond the assumed outer surface and perhaps you might find a whole chest of treasure. Of course above all, certain fundamental values still stay. E.g. my Christian faith still takes priority. I don't create an artificial image of myself, giving the opposite gender a false impression. I state the facts that Im not well-off, I can be aggressive in language at times plus my bluntness can hurt, and the list goes on. All these helps, for it encourages the other party to be honest with you as well, to which I appreciate.

Its a never ending list to write really. Nearing 25 (ok, there's another 4 more mths but heck), the Lord has showered plenty of grace and blessings upon me. Of course, things are never always smooth. My health's not been very good, having been in & out of the hospital twice within 6 mths for the same condition. Been getting a tad lazy of late as well, prefering to procrastinate and leaving things to the last minute only to panic. But I thank the Lord, that this 1 working year had provided plenty of opportunities to reflect those whole chunk load of weaknesses and problems that need to be changed and strengths which can be further sharpened and polished.

I never fully comprehend Phillipians 3:13-15 all these years. Its a unique verse simply becoz it was given to me the moment b4 I stepped out of the house for my first race; AHM 2004. All these years, I encouraged myself and develop my attitude through the latter half of the verse " Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead". This 1 working year taught me the first half "I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it".

This is what my teacher Frankie really meant when he always tell me "the more you know, the more you realized you don't know".

Day 6

2009-07-18T12:06:00.000-07:00

1) A famous night club where the Young and Dangerous series was filmed (according to the guide lah)

2) Repulse bay. Nice place for photos. But once is enough.

3) Floating restaurant where Stephen Chow's God of Cookery was filmed.

4) Cable car ride to the iron Buddha. The view was spectacular.

Day 8 & 7

2009-07-14T23:33:00.000-07:00

Ok this is way overdue (2 wks liao) but just a quick write-up on my short get-away. Literally spent Day 8 packing and it was my lightest luaggage ever (read: not enough underwear). Slept only at 3.45am as I occupied myself studying n identifying the key areas to go as per recommended by my HK predecessor.

Its always a tough comparison btw Cathay Pacific and SQ when it comes to which is better. While the in-flight entertainment is consistent on SQ flights, it tends to be a hit or miss situation with Cathay. My flight to HK proved to be a let-down in entertainment but the return back to SG was excellent. But i guess my preferance is still with Cathay. Honestly, I can never understand what's so attractive about the SQ girls. Under that super thick layer of make-up, don't they all look the same --- similar to chinese opera singers? Cathay girls are worth looking at :P

Its been almost a decade since I last set foot in HK. This time round, its neither a shopping trip (Bangkok) nor a semi-work (Perth) trip. There's no agenda besides well, Disneyland. For once, Im gonna just do "tourist-like" things (excluding the kanna chop carrot head part). Nothing beats having your first hot meal at the famous porridge chain "Hai Huang". Smooth canto porridge with in-depth dense flavour and every gain evenly broken.

Spent the afternoon walking around Mongkok and Temple Street to familiarize with the area. Its basically the "youth-area" as most shops / malls here were like Far-east plaza, catering to the needs of the under-21. Anime culture was evident in HK, with almost 5 floors of a mall selling anime stuff while HK comics (feng yun, dragon-tiger gate etc) was on rapidly decline. In my entire trip, I only saw 2 small shops devoted to HK comic culture. Seems like the young aint into it :(

Dined at a pretty famous restaurant as per recommended by my HK counter-part. Ordering tim-sum at dinner time turned out to be an expensive affair as it cost 2X more. Nevertheless, still a satisfying dinner despite its price-tag.

Ended the day with a stroll around the ladies-street night market. Really just a pasar malam with every stall selling similar goods.

Day 9 - Durian feasting

2009-06-22T10:25:00.001-07:00

1) Mao Shan Wang breed
2) Durian stall near my place

Slept in late again and watched service online. The rest of the day was spent playing arcade games on my laptop with a CONTROLLER (at last). Called the guys out in the evening for durians and we split 3 Mao Shan Wang among us. 3 pretty good catch; 1 was sweet, the other was bitter while another was a blend of both sweet n bitter. The flesh was creamy and very dense. I got pretty full after a few seeds though.

Day 10 - Dinner

2009-06-22T10:11:00.000-07:00

1) Thank you gift from Saucony Passion Run

Started my 10-day break on Sat. Slept in till late 11am+ due to the bbq the night before and just laze around watching movies on my laptop the entire day. Plenty of old flicks such as the Rocky series, Home Alone series etc, good old mindless entertainment.

Attended the Saucony Passion Run dinner on behalf of my clinic. Then again, its logical that i should be the only person going since practically everything was covered by me from preparation of the running talk to the logistics. Anyway I intend to make the Passion Run clinic an annual affair as long Im still in Singapore. FOC of course.

Somehow, as you aged, you don't really enjoy going to such "formal" dinners. Most people see it as a good opportunity for net-working and making themselves known to the other industries, just in case should they need a favor in times of emergency. But honestly, Im an Exercise Physiologist, these events are better off left to the Business / Marketing guys, not me. Im not really into making small talks for the sake of doing it. E.g. one of the VIP is a certain person from a prominent drink company. I don't see how that is linked to my work, unless of course I go up and say "come, let's do a study on your drink and see does it really help running as you claim". The VIP would probably think Im siao.

V

2009-06-14T12:20:00.000-07:00

Its 3.20am; work's gonna start in a few hours and Im still awake.

Maybe its that 2 cups of coffee I had 15 hrs ago (2 cups only !!!!), maybe its those in-btw naps again, maybe its that fun-till-4am Friday that I had. Definately there's some work issues that's never ending in my mind and that sian-ness that's its monday again (aka monday blues setting in on a Sunday night).

I dont blog much these days.

I dont know why.

Not that there's nothing to blog; but rather, somehow the fingers just refused to move after work. Its so much easier just clicking on the mouse.

Im still thinking of V as I typed this.

When N mentioned she's bringing V along for svs, my response was just "ok loh".

It was a mild awkward meeting yesterday, in the sense I was pretty zone out almost 90% of the time no thanks to the late Friday nite's out with my old airforce mates. Me and my stoopid idea of watching a 2am movie instead of going home to zzzz. Im probably too old for such things; the entire sat I was totally zapped of energy.

My first impression of V aesthetically was not mind-blowing or jaw-dropping; on the countary my mind just cant process anything at all with 80% still switched off. From pre-service till post-service till dinner, I was tired n never talked much but rather just listened to the amusing conversation btw N & V.

N went the other way after dinner while V & I took the direction of the interchange. We had better sharing of our faith in that 10 mins or so while waiting for her bus and was at this time my brain just started to process information better.

She's beautiful.

But of course, what left a lasting impression till now is not her looks; but the way she held herself, her sei3 and above all, her simple faith.

We are of similar age but she went through alot alot more moulding and sharpening than me. I understand from N that V came from a complicated background which was not further explained rather than the fact that V's an ex ah-lian. Well, that's pretty obvious :P

The way she phrased herself vocally and the content of her conversation displayed a life rich of experience & multiple directions despite having only minimum academic education.

Her Christian faith, is most striking above all. Over the 9 years of my walk with Christ, I have met new converts by the dozens esp among the youths. In the initial phase, they were full of fire and "God" or any other Christian terms are added in their vocabulary when they speak. Zealot-ness and "hype" are the common signs. Yet, many fizzled away with time.

V gave her life only last Christmas and was recently baptized. But instead of displaying the the usual "hype-ness", what I sensed and felt strongly was a mild sense of regret of not knowing Christ earlier in life and that she was fiercely holding on to God, treasuring every moment she has with Him. Most new believers are drunk in the renewed life of a believer; she chose to be drunk in the love of the Renewal, the Lord Himself.

Having been in the faith of almost 9 years, I consider myself to be familiar with theology, particularly in the area of Escatology or the Study of End Times. Im able to explain concepts and theories of scriptures which many of my other peers cant. Yet, V was able to put across her faith in a very simple and logical way that it was enough to amaze me. And when she lifted her hands to worship during service, it was obvious that she could summon the presence with ease.

Im sure life's not easy for V even as of now, but may the Lord's sight be over her for the rest of her days.

BBQ at the corridor

2009-06-07T06:34:00.000-07:00

1) Setting up the pit
2) Adjusting the coals
3) Finally let's start cooking; cheese dogs to go first
4) Premium pork collar seasoned with prapika
5) Anyone bbq toast before?
6) Our lawyer doing something illegal despite knowing it
7) Post-bbq drinks cum snack
8) A shot from my corridor

It sure was a crazy "illegal" idea but heck, it went and ended well.

Surprise Friday

2009-05-29T08:39:00.000-07:00

While its been a "political crappy I dont like" week, Friday ended with a surprise when a special express delivery came to the clinic counter for me.

The delivery man came with a huge package and ta-dah a Sundown Marathon carrier bag with an Adidas Polo-tee for me. Together with it was a vip guest tag for tomorrow's event.

See you guys tomorrow.

A blessed life ahead

2009-05-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

Attended an ex-colleague cum senior in sports science sum fellow exercise physiologist's wedding last Friday night. It was very touching and sweet to hear their love-life and dating recollections on the video.

Wishing the couple a blessed married life ahead.

Down to earth

2009-04-22T09:41:00.000-07:00

Its probably the most down to earth and simplest date I ever had.

Shorts and slippers sum me up.

We had a quick dinner at the hawker centre; her suggestion. Im low on $ anyway.

Followed by coffee at Mac cafe.. ... that's something pretty new for me.

And we just spent the next 4 hours talking away. Everything from our work, to our studies (she being a sports science grad. as well), to cats and dogs, to motorbikes, our jc life and even my stinky pillow.

I was able to share honest views on my spiritual walk with her despite our extreme differences; me being a charismatic pentacostant while she being a conservative traditional believer. One and possibly the only I would describe as sweet Christian ger.

Walked her home as it was near mid-night. Not a problem; she lives across the road from me.

Got caught in the rain after that but hey, worth it.

Fragmentation

2009-03-08T12:44:00.000-07:00

"If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thought your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools"

Typing this at 3.45am when I have a full day at clinic tomorrow. Goodness.. ...

Severely lagging in updates, to the point of the blog collecting dust. Not that nothing fun happened; in fact, lots of stuff happened e.g. my first sports science conference, my first full-page magazine article that featured me and my views on video gait analysis, meet-up with F-cup, first on-stage hosting of the annual sports medicine meet etc.

In the Emperor's view, Im rising up fast. In a short span of 6 mths, my name rose from a nobody to quite a somebody.

Too fast; to the point, Im tired.

Im not burn out, that Im pretty sure. Im just playing catching up, which I know is good for me though its tough, esp when the standards are set against the Emperor's.

On appearance, things look ok. But how many actually knew what really happened. Particularly my head-on clash with management, what I call a real taste of "politics".

I have a weird reporting system. I report to the Emperor, of which I willingly submit coz he is indeed of worthy standards to be the authority place over me. But at the same time, I have to report to "blind bats" not of the same field , who's too comfy in their routine comfort zone that any plans for changes is met with a direct "no"

When I just started, I make up my mind not to be involved in this thing call "politics". With time, i realized that's only possible if you are just a routine worker whose words make no impact. With the gradual discovery that Im really a Head of department, the decision to say no to politics is really pure irresponsible. The truth is, there's nothing wrong or negative about politics. It only goes wrong when u want to manipulate it for your own gains such as greater pay raise or just being plain bossy. If however, you are able to tweak it well, you can use it to implement many changes and policies that can up the current working standards as well as morale of your men.

And for that, I got "threatened" by the blind bats on my job security and even my bonus. Yet each of their attempt failed as each time I merely refused to submit to their orders to close 2 eyes. Deep down I know they can only talk as I still have the Emperor's backing. But in a final attempt, they got back at me by trying to destroy one of my men and messing up my computer system.

The Emperor described me as a person who "dares step on other's toes" and "confrontational". With time, i realized how pple viewed me can be broken down into 2 classes. There would be one who think im arrogant in my work attitude while the other tend to see me as bold in my approach in work. "Coincidentally" the latter group comprises of righteous people who are persecuted by the unworthy for their effort to push for changes and speaking up for things which had gone wrong. The blind bats see as us rebels and try all means to eradicate us once they fail to win us over.

I wont think Im confrontational; I just feel Im making a stand for my beliefs and values rather than be wishy-washy and get blown around wherever the wind wants me to go. Some fault me as not willing to listen and always thinking Im right.

I do listen; only when needed to. If you are never in a decision making position whose words can impact the direction of the department for the years to come, then you have no right to evaluate and conclude that Im a person who always think Im right. Simply becoz that was exactly what happened to my predecessor who listened too much ultimately, has no stand to decide for the future.

Honestly, its tiring. The moment you make your stand, suddenly faces will change and behind every smile might come a knife preparing to stab you not just in the back but in front. Notes and documents have to be locked up after work in fear of sabotage.

Its so much easier, to close 2 eyes and let unrighteousness go rampant and let the just be persecuted and suppressed.

But yet... 6 decades to come, how am I gonna be answerable should I do that.

And at such times, temptation just loves to set in once again with more private offers; Im flattered actually. In such times of recession, how many get to have private big scale companies/groups coming to you and offering you a position even after a rejection given to them a few months back. To the point when I refuted "what about my left and right-hand men" and the answer given was "bring them with you and join us".

Talk about temptation.

Giving up is the easy way out.

That's simply what the blind bats are hoping for:

That I will burn out, give up and leave. Strong hopes they have on that considering it already happened to my 2 predecessors.

I always reflect back on my left-hand man. Im in constant amaze how he endured all the sufferings and persecution prior to my arrival and take on all the shit thrown to him by the blind bats.

Ending off on Rudyard Kipling "IF", I dont know when this struggle will end. I dont know if I can really finish it. I dont know what tomorrow holds. But all i do know is that the just shall live by faith.

"If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!"

Fark

2009-02-03T05:08:00.000-08:00

Yah, fark's the word.

Initially it was not so bad, but the more i read the email, the more I felt offended. While most things I can simply bo chup, what lim pei cannot tolerate is to be accused of doing something I never did. Heng my left-hand man has some IT knowledge.

so fark, 220.255.7.# is SingNet's new range of transparent proxies. In layman terms, any farking tom whose dick is harry, as long is using SingNet broadband, would display this number when surfing any sites that can capture IP addresses. So fark, never do investigations properly, dont anyhow wack, coz there's still a limit to how much nonsense a person can tahan.

I hardly have time to catch up with my sleep ever since the launch of the series of conferences, clinics and workshops which I have to run and here I am, some cockster accusing me of clicking "refresh" button over n and over again on a certain site.

FARK.

When I have such free time, the only thing im clicking is for my journal papers.

Age

2009-01-29T09:52:00.000-08:00

Age is obviously catching up with drummer Yip Sai Wing. Despite maintaining his boyish look at the age of 46, his vocal power and endurance is no longer there. His peak was probably 3 years back at the 2005 Beyond The Story Final Concert where he delivered a fantastic version of Liao Wang.

Over the past 3+ years, having seen some of his other concerts, its evident that Sai Wing is losing it to the point of panting while singing and playing the drums. The only one whose vocal chords are still damm strong over the years would be Ah Paul.

And darn, she's cute...

CNY

2009-01-27T21:56:00.001-08:00

Ever since my mummy's passing 9 years back, I dont celebrate CNY anymore. To me, its just an annual period of extended rest; no visiting for me. This year would be longer since Im clearing my off + leave till next Monday though its not 100% zhuo boh. I have 2 presentations and a report to churn out but it sure beats doing it at the clinic, at least I have stinky to accompany me at home :P

With most eating places closed on the first day of CNY and almost all frens out visiting, the only one like me is pig. And hence dinner was settled at Waraku over beef Sukiyaki (in pic), stir-fried yaki soba and a huge bowl of curry udon. We stopped by KFC for part 2 as the smell of freshly fried chicken with dont know how many secret herbs was so strong when the bike went past there. But really, KFC haven tasted so good for years already, back in the outlet where many of us would gather after school on Friday afternoons for extended game of MTG.

Yesterday was whole day of just relax and fun. Karaoke at Kbox in the morning. It was also on the 2nd of CNY 5 years ago when we discovered the fun of karaoke at none other than Kbox also. How time flies. It aint that cheap anymore with all those cny surcharges and shorten singing duration + the fact my standard dropped significantly after laying off singing for so long.

The next 4 hours were spent over 3 different video arcade. Dont ask me why, it just seems to be the default practice for the 2 of us to play arcade on CNY day 2. Well its pretty economical considering $1 can last me 30 to 40 minutes of fun.

Met the rest of the guys in city area for our annual compulsory CNY dinner which we had been practising since 2003 I think. Indian Fine Dinning for this year.
Complimentary appetizers while we wait for our orders. The 3 dips were excellent especially the (left corner) mango puree/jam whereby obviously a lot of work went in to produce it. Definately not from a can off the shelf.
Our first round of order including the kebabs platter, fish curry and chicken cooked in mince meat curry along with naans of all sorts. No pics of round 2 which included mutton curry, more different types of Indian bread and saffron rice.
Well, as you can see I was really hungry.... just kidding. The food was fantastic. Serving a mix of North Indian and Blangadeshee food, all orders are freshly prepared upon order (even the bread unlike other places which are produced in huge batches). Waiting time for your orders can be a little long but wat you expect, its cooked upon order only. Good quality spices can be tasted from the different curries which varied in texture with some thick like stew while others watery yet maintaining a dense flavor. Honestly, this place beats the crap out of Samy's Curry at Suntec City which serves crappy food (read: super dry tandoori chicken and lousy fish head curry) @ expensive prices. The menu here is really extensive and opens your eyes beyond just tandoori chicken and naan. Indian food is really more than just those. Prices are not cheap, a small pot of curry (diameter of the pot is only about 12 to 15cm) cost $15 to $18 but honestly, its worth the price and despite its size, it was more than enough to feed the 4 of us. This place dont stinge on the ingredients; e.g. the fish curry comes with huge chunks of boneless fish meat.

Above all, if there's any reason to come back would be the service rendered. Its flawless. Excellent staff with a very friendly floor-manager who takes an active approach in recommending dishes. When I requested to purchase a bottle of the mango puree (the appetizer one), he gave a serving of it to me at no charges.

喜歡你 (別了家駒十五載)

2009-01-14T15:02:00.000-08:00

Adds a new flavor to the song. I quite like this version. Listen out to bridge, it came as quite a surprise.

Resolutions

2009-01-05T09:15:00.001-08:00

是緣是情是童真還是意外

Does not matter anymore. Im just glad I delivered what I need to : )

2nd week into 2009 and I realised I've yet to make resolutions. So here goes:

Education
1) To do my post-grad diploma in Strength and Conditioning. Hopefully God willing, bond-free or a short bond-term.

Calling (Its beyond a career already)
1) Present a research at this year's hospital's annual scientific meeting

2) The boss will accept the proposed changes for the weight-management program and that my left-hand man and I can gradually change the program to higher level of operation

3) To come up with a training syllabus for my right-hand man and develop his knowledge and skills.

4) To get a better salary and career advancement pavement for all my men.

5) Ultimately, successful marketing of all my physiological testing services that the clinic can become a 1-stop service centre for athletes.

Finance
1) Save enough to leave for England next year for my Masters in Exercise Physiology

Sports and health
1) Stop drinking totally

2) Drop my weight to below 80 for health purposes

3) Turn the tables for this year SCSM top 3 positions for local men

Personal
1) Peak Performance Running can become successful and that the services can be expanded

2) Up my exercise physiology knowledge 1 level higher.

3) Read at least 3 journal papers a week (outside that required in my work)

And its 2009

2009-01-01T08:45:00.000-08:00

And so the first day of 2009 just ended. It really felt like yesterday when 2008 just arrived. For some reason, as you get older, the years seem to be passing faster and faster. Back in the NS days, the weeks seemed to crawl at slower than tortise pace.

Not much of a celebration/countdown to shout about. Just the traditional small gathering which did not last till very late. 1 glass of champaign and Im cooked. Ever since I changed medication, I cant seem to hold my alcohol well anymore. Thankfully I never joined Tracy for her drinking that night nor was she sober enough to come down and drink with me at 3am. Anyway its my last glass liao. 2009 Im not touching alcohol anymore with the exception of those found in desserts like cakes and ice-cream :p Retired early at 1.30am to zzzz and woke up freezing in the night. Zy mentioned I was sleep-talking about work. Sighzzz...

2008 was a pretty interesting year that saw me corroded to the maximum in the first half or so of the year; doing things that I never dreamt I would do (on a negative side of course) and having thoughts so warped and evil that I scared myself at times. At that one moment in time, I really felt I just lost it and void of my destiny once and for all. It felt so real; the moment of doubt , that was my thinking and path chosen for the past 3 years a mere illusion product of a short-lived victory.

I bounced back of course; not immediate but gradually with the Lord's grace. Im eternally grateful to pple like Frankie, my teacher. Slowly but surely, im beginning to reconnect with the destiny showed. What that was blurry 4 years ago started to be slightly clearer. Things are not perfect now but definately a lot better than 1 year ago.

2008 spelled the end of my education and the beginning of a career path. I scored several beautiful final victories in school, churning out 4 top papers and maintained my top 10% position. I found interesting work at the biggest sports clinic where I was once a patient while my ex-doctor who treated my running injuries became my supervisor. Of course, it was not a bed of roses there. There was far too big a gap between my arrival and my predecessor, resulting in huge cracks and I was literally working from scratch all over again. I was pretty negative over issues there as i deemed certain things ain't suppose to be within my scope. Lots of grumbling and complaints, with the unwillingness to accept certain responsibilities. Everything else was at fault except myself. The machine and equipment were too old; the work structure was silly etc.

It went on till one night, amidst a pile of rubbish I found a document left behind by my predecessor to me. That showed me how foolish and silly I was and that the position Im holding was really alot more than I imagined. A lot of authority and power is tagged to my post which explained all the responsibilities I had to take yet not written down in paper. Ultimately I could either be just a follower or stood up to the expectations of what the position needed and lead.

Hence at the age of 24, I became a Head of department with 3 men under me. The youngest the clinic ever seen.

Goodness... ...

On a self-note, not all things were that bad. I discovered I actually still had the capacity to really like a person honestly and trufuly when I thought I was corroded so badly that flirting was the only option. It turned out to be quite interesting when I charted out in my thoughts how on earth she turned out to be the one and that it was not a 1-off thing spurred by emotions.

I never said to her about it though.

I dont know why.

是緣是情是童真還是意外 ?

And oh, during the last day of 2008, Peak Performance Running was borned :)

Movie Night

2008-12-27T11:09:00.000-08:00

1) My favourite muffin from Kenny Rogers
2) An early b'dae dinner treat

Was really looking forward to the night's dinner actually. Honestly, was a tad dissappointed when it got postponed; oh well I should be glad its not canceled.

Was pretty tired sleepy after coming back from the council and decided to just nap a couple of hours then stone the rest of the day away since there's nothing on at night. 2 hours into the nap and got a msg from who else but Tracy. The ger's free at night and since Im available as well, we decided to catch a movie with the complimentary vouchers from the bank which are gonna expire in a couple of days time despite me having them for almost a month plus already. Shows how busy I am with work.

Wanted to watch Bolt 3D initially since the reviews are consistently positive but somehow the evil cinema refused to let me have the tix for it, claiming its a different category of tix and I ended up with Bedtime Stories by Adam Sandler. As usual, the ger's late again and she's craving big time for meat. But Kenny Roger's packed and the decision was to take a risk and try to come back after the movie though chances are, the place gonna be closed already. Her next crazy idea was to smuggle food into the cinema despite Eng Wah having the highest chance of bag checks. We made it through anyway with sushi and hotdogs. Coincidentally, this was the same cinema which we went for the one and only movie date 8 years ago b4 we lost contact.

Despite the bad reviews, Bedtime Stories turned out to be surprisingly light-hearted and funny (in a stoooopid way lah) and honestly, I did enjoy the movie. I mean, how bad can a Walt Disney production gets.

First thing she went after the credits rolled was "I want dinner" and we made a rush for Kenny Roger. Thankfully it was still opened and I got my early birthday dinner treat. Thanks alot ger.
Saw this interesting Christmas Tree made up of a variety of donated soft-toys in Suntec. Its pretty cute. All in all, its an enjoyable night with all the random crap and laughter which this ger can really generate. I have never seen such a random person in my life; in a positive way. Gonna be a long time b4 we will meet again coz once come Monday, its a hectic work schedule ahead again till God knows when.
A surprise gift came in the mail when I got home. A thumb-drive from my University despite having graduated almost 6 months ago.

Finally I decided to get rid of my moldy fungus-infested JPG wallet but not before retaining a little piece of souvenier; the metal plate of the wallet. I've been a big fan of JPG since my early NS days, having owned at least 8 to 9 pieces of their wallets from various series like the classic Ah Beng metal plate theme, the Aeries series, Forest-green theme etc. The only one I lacked was the extreme-Ah Beng Dragon series. None stayed long as their resale value was higher than my purchase price. Hence, most pieces were sold for good profits. This last one probably was used the longest (which explains for all the bacteria and fungus). I find brands like Cardin and Braun Baffel extremly boring. Its like 9 out of 10 males out there on the street carries a billfold from one of these 2 brands.

Sighzz, nothing beats the good old Jean Paul Gaultier.

Birthday Weekend

2008-12-27T00:28:00.000-08:00

1) New Waraku Lunch time menu
2) Favourite Zaru Soba
3) Close up
4) Hamburger Rice Set

If there's any difference in having a steady income compared to the days of a poor student is that I dont really have to consider much when I spoil myself occasionally with a good lunch treat; not that I do it often but only for special reasons.

Over the past few years, my birthdays had been celebrated with many people, a few people or just alone. Honestly, I still like the last option best, especially when work has been so hectic, I hardy have time for myself, away from the rest of the world. This time round, for the birthday weekend, its just some personal time with myself. Despite some hiccups at the clinic resulting in the doctors and my men calling me up for some discussion (Im on leave damm it), it was still quite a nice day.

Had an early birthday-lunch (self-paid) at Waraku with their new lunch Gohan menu. Waraku's one of those rare Jap food chain which is pretty consistent and good in its quality and standard has not been compromised despite so many outlets of it poping out over the years. Pretty reasonable prices too. Had an additional Zaru Soba as a side. Despite the huge variety, the Zaru Soba is still my favourite. I love it for its no frills simplicity. Not exactly a good deal considering you can do it easily at home (its $9 a portion at Waraku) but its a comfort food to me esp on days when things went really bad. Not a fan of the Cha Soba though; in the first place I dont even really like green tea and its related food.

Caught Ip-man alone before ending the night with a dinner with KJ jie jie whom I have not seen for almost 2 years. Its been good catching up.

1) Godiva Christmas Chocs

To sweeten things up, got an unexpected Christmas gift from some1 early this morning. Really sweet of her despite meeting only recently at the scsm expo.

Christmas

2008-12-25T09:08:00.000-08:00

1) Christmas Eve Dinner
2) Main dish for this year
3) Precious Moments at Suntec
4) Birth of Christ scene

Its quite a hectic Christmas with my initial plans spoiled. Did not intend to work on Xmas eve though its half day and wanted to clear my off only to have a runner calling in and pleading me to let her come in do a Running Economy test for that day. Sighzz. Anyway the protocols went pretty well coz she's actually the first athlete to go through the test.

Concuss the moment I got home and ZzZz for 2 hours b4 zooming in the rain with pig and his bike to pick up food for Christmas Eve dinner. Stoooopid rain...

Anyway, decided that this year I would be too tired to cook and also to spare the guys from trying my experiments (most of the time work though once in a while will fail), we decided to take-away dinner. Fusion of Asian and Western such as German sausages, Indian rojak etc. Highlight dish was the Teochew stewed duck discovered by accident in an ulu coffeshop. Pretty good stuff, haven have this for a long time.

Met up with Tracy after church service. She was the girl I had a really huge crush on back in JC even though we went to different JCs after our first 3 months. We lost contact for almost 8 years till I found her recently on facebook. Prettier, still as loud, liberal and random like back in jc days, Tracy's quite a fun person to be with actually. Despite not keeping in contact for so long, resulting in a dinner with polite and proper conversations, both of us loosen up pretty well after that and all hell broke loose with a beer each at the Irish pub. Lots of laughter and poking fun at each other with all sorts of random topics. Would have stayed on much later if not becoz she has to work tmr.

Not much drinking this time round actually. Last night dinner only had sparking grape juice upon my insistence despite a bottle of champaign sitting nicely in the fridge while a beer today was enough to give me a really bad headache after that. I cant drink like b4 anymore; I better stop as well. Last week while shopping at Carrefour, almost black out for no reason with the rest of the night fading in and out mentally.

Anyway, have a blessed Christmas to all.

情人

2008-12-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

Originally composed and wrote by Jia Jun from Beyond, 情人 has been sung by many other singers but none can execute it as well as Jacky Cheung. Yup, not even Jia Jun himself could voice it well vocally. While the lyrics were beautiful, its probably due to his lack of life experiences that Jia Jun was not able to express the complex emotions associated with the song. He was only 29 - 30 when he wrote 情人. Subsequently, Paul and Steve Wong also failed to demonstrate the level of competency set by Jacky Cheung.

Jacky was able to change the style of the song yet retaining the original magical touch. Listen out for the bridge, its simply amazing.

是緣是情是童真還是意外

This 1 sentence simply sums up the entire song.

Sorry ah F-cup, today i in the mood to talk old stories. And so I met A almost 5 years ago. I was 18, a year into enlistment. She was 16, just finished her Os. We started out as chat buddies on then-dying IRC, progressively moving on to 3 - 4 hours long phone calls when I was still staying in the base. Those nights, I would sit in the carpark outside my base's office seeing the night sky full of stars while waiting for reception to come to my HP so as to see her regular night sms of "let's chat" before going in to call her.

I started blogging becoz of her. I started running long distances because of her. She was the first girl I shed tears over. She was also the first girl whom I cause to cry. Nothing worked out eventually; we both went through a series of misunderstandings to acceptance and forgiveness. Today, we share a very platonic friendship; being able to be liberal in sharing of updates and information with each other, simply becoz, after almost 5 years, there's nothing to hide at all.

Looking back at that experience of a hot-blooded 18-year old youth pumping with testostorones, Im quite amazed by the fact that though I was poor at controlling my emotions, I was however, able to express them bravely and in very, if I may put it, sweet ways.

Then came M a couple of years down the road. I was a bit older, going into my final year of my studies. We met in a weekly run; she stays just 2km from my place. We started going for runs together regularly, just the 2 of us. I remembered the night when we shared a tub of chocolate ice-cream in the carpark during Vdae and I surprised M with a stalk of half-bloom rose, the way she love her blood red roses to be. I remembered the night when I waited an hour for M at Safra while she took her TT to qualify for the Biathlon and how happy she was when she cleared it. I still remember her lame yet without fail joke of "no running" while pointing to the sign whenever we cross the bridge over to ECP from Marine Parade for our night runs. And finally during the Biathlon when I waited for her at the 5km mark to accompany her through the stretch where she always struggled during our night runs. The day ended beautifully when I surprised M with a box of Macarons.

I never had the chance to express my genuine thoughts/feelings to M regardless vocally or in writing.

I wanted to. Yet constantly, its always a debate of right vs wrong in the issue of expression becoz of the differences in faith. M left for the States shortly after her graduation. What she did not know, was that on the night prior to her departure, I immediately rushed down from school to the run with a slice of chocolate cake for her from the place we went for her birthday celebration.

I never made it. She left by the time I got there.

Whenever I see her today, there's still a tinge of regret. Looking back, I learned expressing one's thoughts dont equate to must having it that way. There is really absolutely nothing wrong at all in relating how I really felt becoz the expression of it vocally was all I wanted without the hope of any outcomes. Yet I failed to see it back then.

In these 5 years, in the gap btw A n M n now, obviously there were occasions of the opposite gender coming into mine life, some of whom I never even meet in person (in the early days just after A). Plus, me being the cheeky, naughty and to a certain extent flirthy male, love to tease these gers alot. Name callings such as "darling", "dear", "I miss you" etc are common among us.

I dont deny, I was that bad, esp for someone of my faith.

None were anywhere near the status I placed A n M to be. These "calefare" (ok Im damm evil, as some1 calls it, I should burn in hell) were there to fill up an empty "emotional-tank".

I probably landed myself right now with a very bad reputation of liking to flirt with ger gers.

I dont do it anymore. I think...

Yet tracing back, I discovered besides A n M, there is actually one more whom I have always been honest and trueful with. The interesting thing is that never once did I question am I having the same sentiments towards her as I had towards A n M. I only knew I just want to be honest with her. When I got her little gifts and surprises, regardless from my overseas travels or randomly, I did it coz I just like and want to do it even if I had to go through some inconvenience to get it; not becoz I want to fill up an emotional tank.

The truth of the matter is; that night I never flirted.

I had so much wanted to mean what I said. But I cant.

In the end, I had to put myself in a fake situation that I did flirt.

Sometimes I dont know what Im doing.

I wish I can still bravely and freely express my feelings and emotions vocally like how I did with A. But i realized I cant do that anymore. Over the years, unknowingly Im taking a more and more passive and pessimistic stand on relationship issues for myself. Sure, I taught and advise many on how to handle their relationship issues; yet I dont even know where Im heading. Sometimes I wonder is my significant increase in thirst and hunger for exercise physiology knowledge and skills partially influenced by mine inability to express the emotional side of me anymore that I seek to preoccupy my time with plenty of work related issues and stress instead.

If that's the case, its really very saddening.

I left my position as a moderator/committee member recently. Partly to free up more time to explore myself in the role of "myself". Im an exercise physiologist cum the Head SnC coach for mine work. Im an endurance runner for mine sports. Im a competent graduate for mine studies. But whom am I for my feelings and emotions?

What I do know is, I guess, I really do like you, a lot.

Its probably been going on for quite a while already, just that my crazy workload/schedule never allowed me to properly sit down, think and question myself.

是緣是情是童真還是意外 ?

Sighzz

2008-12-03T12:21:00.001-08:00

Up since 2.30am to prepare for the SCSM expo later today. From setting up, transport of equipment to deployment, all 1-man show, sighzzz...

Keep me in prayer that my body will be well to handle the next 3 to 4 days, have a bad feeling Im catching the flu bug.

Still have to rush between the clinic and expo today and tomorrow.

Sighzzz