NiCK'S SANCTUARY

In Search of Ithaca

2009-06-12T22:45:00.003Z

I recently took part in a personality quiz on Facebook entitled "Which Work of Literature are You?"

The result did not come as any surprise to me at all. My answers most closely associated my personality with The Odyssey by Homer:

Life is an epic journey. It exists only to challenge you, so that you might prove through overcoming incredible obstacles your worthiness to yourself, your loved ones, and your God(s). Trial and Tribulation is the name of the game, and you won't ever stop until you reach the promised land.

As I said, it didn't surprise me. It sums up how I often feel about things. It's the same reason why I've always (even since childhood) been drawn to stuff like Battlestar Galactica (both versions) and even why I'm more tolerant of Voyager than most Trek fans.

I really relate to tales where a major character is alienated or isolated from the people and dreams they hold dear... and is forced to fight insurmountable odds to achieve nothing more glorious than the right to get home.

Whether they wine and dine, fight their own personal battles against oppressive forces, or count their wealth and blessings in their vast treasure stores... the other kings and queens of Greece do so from the relative luxury of home and have plenty of contact with the other kings and queens...

I have fought their Trojans on many occasions... but when my trials come, many of them either cannot tell when I'm all at sea, are unable to do anything to assist... or simply do not care about my fate (except when it is intertwined with their own).

I'm still searching for Ithaca. Sometimes I make good progress, other days I end up in a right pickle... onwards I go nonetheless.

In my mind I have of late pictured myself as a tall ship sat on a windless ocean. I am sat waiting for a sudden gust or a gentle to send me off somewhere... anywhere but I have neither direction or power... I seem quite depleted of personal resolve.

Periodically I go through times when I tend to struggle with the reality of my circumstances... or should I say the reality of my lack of circumstances. At these times I look around me and reason that I am all alone... save for the company of God.

I truly believe these times are an attack against me... the enemy seems to disrupt me the most by isolating me from other Christians. He uses the perceived injustice of my position... and the emotional mistreatment/neglect of people I have known to cripple me and lay me low.

I once heard a man preach that our relationship with God is like a table on four legs - prayer, studying the word, worship and fellowship. Take one of those legs away and the table wobbles a bit... take two away and it gets ropey. The argument is that as the elements that make up a healthy relationship with Christ disappear from your life, the more unstable and rocky your faith becomes.

The first leg that always gets clobbered in my case is that of Fellowship.

I felt really despondent the other day, but there was a glimmer of light at the end of it.

I finished work feeling entirely fed up and exhausted....and wanted to o straight home and veg out. However I was very conscious of wanting to spend time with God and I knew if I headed home I'd either plonk myself in front of the computer or hit the sofa and shut myself off.

So I made a concerted effort to go to church.

As I drew near, I noticed that the door was open (unusual given it's rural location), yet nobody was there. Even though the truth is that it was probably merely left that way by the previous visitor, it nonetheless lifted my spirits and made me feel welcome. After a short time of prayer and bible study I headed home feeling somewhat better than I had that day.

As I made my way back down the path, thought back to the open door and I heard the reassuring words:

"My door is always open for you Nick."

So I'm still out there looking for my Ithaca... but I have the best ally in the universe to aid me in my voyage... and something tells me that the wind isn't that far away. The symbolism of the door being open,and the words put on my heart reminded me of a certain passage:

"To the angel of the church in Philadelphia write:These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name."

Revelation 3:7-8

Labour Pains

2009-06-07T23:00:00.003Z

As I write this entry, the trials and tribulations that have beset Gordon Brown's premiership, are mounting by the truckload.

I can't help thinking that Mr Brown's biggest problem by far, is his lack of charismatic authority. The hints were there right from the start... in an early Prime Minister's Questions session facing David Cameron... where he rather embarrassingly came to a grinding halt and sat down before properly answering the question put to him.

True, it was only a small thing... but you could easily argue that it was a microcosm of what has since transpired. I'm not against Mr Brown at all... I've always believed he's had a good agenda that was initially obscured by his predecessor's egomania and obsession with spin. Of course I've never really been a fan of Blair,but one thing you can argue... is that he had charisma in spades (but then it is not always a good quality). Following a man like that is always going to be difficult, it is even more the case if charisma does not come naturally.

I don't have a major problem with Mr Brown's big policy calls... nobody can doubt he's made some brave calls that other world leaders have responded to. My biggest problem is his inability to make the big leadership calls. He had a chance to validate his premiership right from the get go... he had the opportunity to call a somewhat risky general election which hindsight tells us he probably would have won. His response to the subsequent by-elections and local elections that Labour struggled in, was "We are listening and we will learn from this". This was churned out several times in succession and to my ears, it became a bit of a cliched mantra.

Then of course most recently, he finds ministers within his ranks who have played or abused the expenses system and chooses a long term strategy to deal with it. That is not how the real world deals with such matters. If something like that came up anywhere else, you would expect it to be dealt with immediacy. What was needed was not an independent inquiry riddled with red tape (that must follow only as a secondary measure), but a swift yet accurate self diagnosis of who was at fault followed by a case by case instant dismissal and by election.

People may still harbour anger, resentment and feelings of betrayal... but if they can at least see that you are taking genuinely hard steps to put your house in order, you are are likely to win their ears back.

If the stories are true, it would appear that Brown was not happy with Alastair Darling's performance as chancellor... and yet in the recent reshuffle, he backed off doing anything about it because Darling was rumoured to be digging his heels in and refusing to do any other job.

The tougher choice would have been to have called Darling out on that... put him somewhere you feel is better and see how he reacts. If he walks, he walks... but don't let one man's desire to retain a high profile job, rule how you feel the team should be structured.

I feel the only way for Gordon Brown to survive the oncoming storm, is to adapt his personality for the times ahead. He needs to be more bullish.

Should Labour go through with a plot to oust him, heaven help them... because I don't really see any pretenders to the throne. I don't get a strong sense of leadership from Alan Johnson or anyone else for that matter... and if someone should take the mantle from Brown, they are going to have justify the fact that they are the second successive Prime Minister to have not been directly elected.

If Brown goes... or is forced to take some kind of internal electoral action to secure his position, I honestly think a general election will have to be called. He needs to act before his own ministers adopt their own course of action that can only end in mutually assured destruction of Labour at the polls - Blairite or Brownite won't matter... their fate will be the same.

I'll be honest... I can't see any way that Labour is not going to be annihilated at the next general election- I believe that too much water has passed under the bridge. Now is not the time for fingers in the dame... now is the time for something spectacular.

An interesting week ahead of us I would say.

You Can't Please All Of The People...

2009-05-30T07:02:00.004Z

... all of the time.

I've been gone along time again. Truth be known, I've been fairly exhausted in focusing my thoughts on other writing projects including preparation for my preaching efforts. Ive been feeling intellectually, spiritually and emotionally... somewhat drained.

But the hour is late (and I don't just mean that I'm typing in the midnight hour). A lot has happened recently in politics and it requires comment... so I had better at least try to weigh in with a semi decent effort.

Before exploring my motivation for writing this piece, lets look at the fundamental cause of the recent political troubles - the scandal over MP's expenses.

What has happened is simply disgusting. There is no other word that sums it up so succinctly.

Disgusting.

That so many of our parliamentary representatives have been caught red handed, angers the public deeply... and rightly so. I think deep down many people knew or at least suspected on some level, that this was going on...but just got on with their own lives... but it's now, when financial hardship begins to pinch that this issue is particularly sensitive (though I personally believe it should always be so). I think what has offended the public most deeply, is the fact that those who have been caught (to whatever extent), have actually tried to defend their position.

"I acted within the rules at the time" they cry. So what? They knew full well that the rules were wrong but they were content to ignore that little fact as they used the letter of the law to completely wallpaper over the spirit of the law.

The worst offenders have pledged to step down at the next election and have written cheques to pay back what they have stolen (for lets name the act for what it is).

Frankly this is not enough.

I don't agree with David Cameron's stance of using the outrageous crimes of his parliamentary brethren to get a general election (though it looks like events are conspiring to that effect anyway, irrespective of his appeals). It is not the time to make political capital out of this steaming mess (he knows his party is far likely to be less severely damaged by electoral disaffection).

However, I do believe that immediacy is needed. If it happened in any other workplace, the culprits would be on a charge of gross misconduct and out on their ear... and this should be no different.

I believe in every case where there is provable deliberate fraud, there should be a By Election... no matter how many seats that affects. Furthermore, as a gesture of goodwill, I believe the politicians should follow the biblical example of Zaccheus. He was the tiny taxman who defrauded his community out of their hard earned coinage. However, upon meeting Jesus... Zaccheus had a change of heart and offered not only to pay back what he taken... but to multiply it fourfold.

I'm sure if you suggested it to the MP's caught in scandal, they would be spitting their tea out at this suggestion... but here is my point. Giving back what they took, merely shows a grudging acknowledgement that they were caught red handed. It is not an act of contrition. True repentance requires that we go over and above what is expected of us on paper... we actually need to demonstrate a change of heart by what we choose to say and how we choose to act.

What is required for the main parties to regain some serious trust... is for someone to stand up and make some really tough calls... REALLY tough ones. Although Cameron has made a few steps along this road, none of the main party leaders have truly been active on this... or taken any risks. They promise reform but that takes time... and as the Bible teaches, you shouldn't put new wine in an old wineskin (or in this case "new rules in corrupt parliaments").

However, I wish to move on to my main point - tomorrows elections. There is a great fear and concern that the disaffection felt by so many over the sleaze allegations and expenses scandal will lead to the public abandoning the main parties and leaving several local and European seats ripe for picking by the hands of dangerous fringe parties such as the BNP

In fact, such is the concern that... last week the two leading ministers in the Anglican Church stepped forward and made a direct appeal against the BNP.

When I heard the joint statement issued by the Archbishop of Canterbury - Rowan Williams and the Archbishop of York - John Sentamu that decried the BNP, I was deeply impressed.

Yet unbelievably, there was a barrage of letters in the press complaining that the Church of England should not be telling people how they should vote.

Under ordinary circumstances, I would normally agree... but these are NOT ordinary circumstances and the British National Party is NOT a normal political party.

We are living in extraordinary times... politics is in a state of complete upheaval. The row over MP's expenses has broken wide open.

Lets not forget that following the Holocaust, Pope Pius XII was strongly criticised for not speaking out against the persecution of Jews... in fact he did apparently make some critical statements... and gestures, but his contribution is largely regarded as too little too late and mostly given when it became politically safe/convenient.

Whether you believe his actions were sufficient or not, my point is that people were critical of him for not acting in the face of such an oppressive destructive political beast as Nazism.

Yet now, people are criticising churchmen for doing the opposite. Are they insane? Do they not see the parallels? It is absolutely right that the Church stands up against the BNP, particularly when it is a known fact that the party is making insidious attempts to win over Christians who are (rightly) annoyed at the prospect of political correctness seemingly stifling public expression of belief.

The BNP even claim Christ is on their side:

What would Jesus do?

Are they serious?

Let me punch a fundamental hole in their argument...

Jesus Christ lived as a Jew in a nation occupied by a foreign invader, one which despite allowing Jewish culture to continue... made sure it's own cultural ideas were firmly imprinted upon the land. How did Jesus treat these foreigners... did he endorse the idea of insurrection against Rome?

No he didn't.

Jesus Christ even went as far as healing a Roman official's son.

However, we are talking persecution are we not? So how did Jesus react to persecution... did he throw his lot in with the Zealot guerrilla terrorists?

No.

Jesus allowed the Romans to mock him, beat him to a pulp, flog him and crucify him... and he still had the loving audacity to call upon his Father to forgive them.

Ultimately, Jesus does not make a good poster boy for the BNP... and neither should any of us who are Christians.

You see if Jesus and his apostles (following the ascension) had not accepted outsiders... the Christian Church would be nowhere near as significant in size as it is today. Peter would not have met Cornelius, and salvation would not have been known among the gentiles. Similarly Paul... if he had not immersed himself in the many cultures of the Roman Empire provinces, would not have been able to use his observations of their customs, in proclaiming the Gospel to them.

And let us not forget that in following Christ, we admit we are aliens and foreigners on this Earth... and our "nationalism" is in the final analysis, reserved for God's Kingdom.

However, I don't need to go into a long and drawn out theological diatribe as to why Christianity is not compatible with the BNP's "policies".

All I need is Christ's summaries of how we should treat others around us:

"Love your neighbour as yourself"

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

Matthew 5:43-48

If you have been tempted to vote for the BNP... or even if a small part of your heart sympathises with them; I urge you to take a good look again at the scripture above and pray about it. Weigh your heart against God's Word and see if in all good conscience, your position is defensible?

I make no secret of my vehement opposition to the very existence of the BNP and I feel burdened to speak out against them because of my conviction that evil succeeds when good men fail to act.

May God bless you all

N

Til We Have Built Jerusalem...

2009-04-23T19:54:00.005Z

Happy St. George's Day everyone.

It's tradition on this day to sing/play Parry's Jerusalem in cathedrals and churches upon this day. In researching this post, I discovered that some clergy object because they don't class it as a hymn. For me personally, it is a song of hope... a recollection of what God is capable of, who he is... and a genuine desire to see his glory among his people here in the British Isles, as it was seen in ancient days among his people Israel (although in truth, we have God's promise to dwell within each of our hearts... which is even more amazing and humbling than following his Shekinah glory cloud around).

I also feel that Jerusalem is a pledge, a commitment to put your heart into the trim (slight nod to Shakespeare there... but it is his birthday too), to be prepared to steel yourself and do whatever it takes to envisage the dream of Jerusalem and manifest it as reality.

However, I'm quite aware that the song isn't just claimed by Christians... indeed the tune is so popular it has often been described as England's national anthem in waiting. In fact, King George V actually preferred it to God Save the King.

It has a place in the heart of so many people up and down the land... as can be seen at the climax of the Proms concerts:

During my time in Israel, I learned of various ways in which the city of Jerusalem was figuratively identified in theology.

In the time of the priest-king Melchizedek (Jerusalem's first appearance known at the time as Salem), it represented a city of hope... a place of promise for future generations.

In King David's time, it was a city of strength... a mighty fortress unassailable by it's opponents.

In the early part of Solomon's reign, Jerusalem took on the form of a queenly city... as God's relationship with his people in the old covenant, reached it's zenith. The Temple was built and the glory cloud came and resided at the heart of the city as it's people worshipped the living God.

However, it wasn't long before the crown slipped...

During the second half of his reign, Solomon fell into all the traps that God said would begin to lead his people astray... and it is during this period that the city was viewed as a prostitute city... as God's people lay down with other "gods" and erected altars above the city on the Mount of Olives.

Eventually God called his people to account and the city became a widow city, as the glory of the Lord departed and the city was destroyed... it's people being carried off into exile.

When the exile was over and Israelites returned to rebuild and occupy the city, it became a shadow city. The oldest generations who remembered the glory of the old Jerusalem, wept openly to see a lesser city built in it's place.

During the New Testament era, Christian scholars perceived Jerusalem as the rejecting city, due to the fact that the generation in the time of Christ failed to recognize Jesus as the promised Messiah.

Following that, the city fell once more... and was seen as the rejected city.

Eventually in the time of Hadrian the city was completely ploughed into the ground and rebuilt as Aelia Capitolina... a city dedicated to pagan worship and which, due to the fierce (and understandable) Judaean insurrection... was out of bounds to all Jews.

Ahead in time, we have the hope of the future city... the New Jerusalem, a place where God will dwell with his people more intimately than ever... where he will wipe away every tear in the home of eternal celebration.

So why the history lesson?

It's quite simple really... on this day as we remember the past glories of our nation and we celebrate the idea of building Jerusalem in England's green and pleasant land... the question we have to ask ourselves is what kind of Jerusalem are we building?

Are we building...

A city of hope - a place that puts it's trust in God to bring about a brighter future?

A city of strength - a place that trusts in God for it's protection and deliverance?

A queenly city - a place that has pledged it's heart to God and is living completely in the blessing that comes through a relationship with God?

Or are we in fact building...

A city that prostitutes itself - place that follows after strange gods, that looks to finance and materialism as it's ultimate saviour, or one that puts celebrities in a pantheon and ignores the tender voice of it's faithful, loving God?

A widowed city - a place that has become so detached from God, that it is called to account and sent into the desolate sands of the wilderness until it realises just what it has lost?

A shadow city - a place that remembers the things of God as little more than a memory and lives with a cultural religion... but not really a living faith?

A rejecting city - a place that doesn't love it's neighbours as itself... a place that doesn't recognise Jesus in others and willingly neglects, persecutes or abuses him by proxy in it's attitudes to others (on this national day, with regard to this point I especially think of disgusting groups such as the BNP)?

A rejected city - a place that is handed over to it's ways and abandoned to it's own doom?

A pagan city - a place that forgets it's identity in God and becomes a place of unrest, in-fighting and destruction?

Or is it the city that it should be? The city that is being built on the foundation that Christ lay down, by his death and resurrection - the New Jerusalem.

It's something I think we should think on if we are serious about singing that song a little more often than just at Rugby matches or other sporting events, or the Proms.

Have a blessed St. George's Day and may the city he is building in your heart continue to grow to his glory.

Christian Blogging Redux

2009-04-14T22:07:00.003Z

Some time ago, I read an entry on a blog that debated the merits of whether all Christians should blog... or just those who are proficient in theology and/or debating skills.

The conclusion that was reached favoured the latter view.

At the time, I remained silent but it has always niggled me because this is the very antithesis of my position.

I do not believe in elitism. I accept that there are risks with every Tom, Dick and Harry writing about their faith... there are bound to be errors of judgement in theology and composition, because we are all on a journey.

I can't accept or sanction the idea that evangelism and spiritual encouragement are only the remit of a select few (many as the people within that "few" are). The apostle Paul encountered many charlatans, heretics and people who were preaching the Gospel for a mixture of motives. Whilst he fought diligently against deliberate heresy, when his enemies preached the Gospel, he did not oppose them... in fact, he actually recorded his attitude towards such people in his letter to the Philippians:

"It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defence of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice."

Philippians 1:15-18

Essentially, Paul didn't care who preached the Gospel... so long as it was preached. In more recent generations, someone coined a famous saying:

"We are not all called to be evangelists, but we are all called to evangelise."

So while many may not be educated strongly in theology or even well rehearsed in scripture, if they have even a basic relationship with God through Christ, they have the knowledge of Jesus' sacrifice and resurrection... and why it was necessary for the salvation of mankind. This is central to the gospel message.

Furthermore, Paul (greatly informed apologist that he was), did not regard eloquence and intellect to be of the utmost importance when it came to his own message:

"When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power."

1 Corinthians 2:1-5

Some of the greatest preachers and apologists the Christian faith ever had... began their journeys hearing the words of some obscure man or woman of faith and being inspired by them. I think we would be fools to limit the field. People connect on all sorts of levels. A man of great wisdom and intellect... even a spiritual man, might totally miss the mark where gentle words of innocence might succeed. Every one of us is unique, we each bear a personal testimony that is not shared by another... who knows what part of our own individual stories might be used by the power of God, in order to inspire the lives of others. Or have you not read the Parable of the Mustard Seed?

I think people are being way too analytical and are injecting human management styles into what is essentially God's work. We are called to sow... we cannot know where the seed falls in the hearts of the people we speak to, we can only be faithful in sharing what we have. Evangelism is merely one beggar telling another beggar where he may find bread... and living bread at that.

To try and control who speaks for God on the Internet, is to put human rules and regulation in the way of the Gospel. My own personal attitude is to fling wide the gates... let all who know Jesus speak of him... and if I do come across anything that is at odds with the Gospel message in my own meanderings on the web... to gently point this out where necessary.

So for those who have been encouraged to abandon their keyboard, I equally encourage you to take it back up again. Your walk with Jesus is unique to you, and you do not know whose heart you may set on fire, simply by sharing it.

Promised Land

2009-04-13T18:06:00.005Z

It's been nearly a month since my return from Israel... and I'm still reflecting over many of the things I experienced while I was out there.

One thing that strikes me particularly at the moment, is the number of different names we have for the area - Israel, Palestine, Canaan, The Promised Land, The Holy Land...

Of all these, the one that resonates most powerfully with me is The Promised Land. It is a name that holds reassurance for the wanderer, the one who has eked out an existence in the desert whilst every other dog has seemingly repeatedly had his day. It is a name that holds hope for the future.

One thing that has played a lot on my mind since I've got back, are the events described in the book of Numbers, chapters 13 and 14:

After their God engineered miraculous escape from Egypt, the Israelites had been wandering the Sinai Peninsula and had reached a place called Kadesh in the desert of Paran. God commanded Moses to despatch a leader from each of the 12 tribes, to carry out a covert operation in the land.

40 days later, the band of spies return successfully, bearing the mother of all fruit baskets from their little adventure.

The good news - "We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit."

The not so good news - "But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large. We even saw descendants of Anak there. The Amalekites live in the Negev; the Hittites, Jebusites and Amorites live in the hill country; and the Canaanites live near the sea and along the Jordan."

All around the camp came the loud murmur of a nation grumbling at the prospect of entering such a land... they were a real "glass half empty" lot.

In response to this, Caleb then pipes up "We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it."

But the Israelites weren't having that... as quick as a flash, all the other spies with the exception of Joshua suddenly embellish the story and transform the inhabitants of Canaan into superhuman warriors (the Nephilim they refer to had such a reputation); they came up with the following cop outs...

"We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are."

"The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."

Isn't it amazing? How quick we are to forget God's promises... and how easily we forget his deeds for our own convenience?

They should have known better... not long before these events, the whole nation had witnessed God work through Moses - turning the sea to dry land and sweeping away the armies of Pharaoh as those waters returned to their rightful place.

The same God who performed such a feat... and who had led them safe through the desert thus far, was now calling them into the receipt of his divine promise. Would he really have done that if he wasn't prepared to back them up as had previously done?

Let's not be too harsh on Israel. We can be exactly the same... in fact for most of my adult life... yes even my Christian life, I have been. I have committed the sin of choosing safety over promises... and I have missed out. That's one major reason why I went to Israel. I didn't want to be subject to the naysaying of my own doubting heart. I didn't want to be ruled by fear... dread cannot be our sovereign, God must be.

Even now though,I am acutely aware that heading to Israel is actually only the first step... it is the equivalent of heading into the promised land to spy if the risk is worth it.

The challenge for me now is the same as it was for the Israelites. Now that I have seen that taking a risk with God does indeed yield rewards... am I prepared to continue along that path? Or shall I pass it off as a silly flirtation with adventure... and return back to the spiritual desert for another generation?

The thing is... and I can't recall what television programme I heard this sentiment expressed on recently - when one of your dreams comes true... you begin to take the other ones a little more seriously.

The things I hope for, I am now entrusting to God a lot less reluctantly than before. I choose to go forward... because it's new and because the land ahead is good. Yes there will be troubles, trials and struggles... but they will be new ones, not the same old tired ones that have dragged me down into despair and lethargy in the past. Furthermore, pressing on ahead... unknown as that journey may as yet be, is the path God wishes me to walk... and remaining in step with him, I can be assured of having him right there beside me.

I think the main point I want to make... the one that is as much for you as it is for me, is that we have to question the counsel we heed when we are presented with a new and potentially difficult venture on our journey in Christ.

Are we listening to the voices of suspicion, doubt an despair that say it cannot be done... or are we listening to the different spirit that God has put inside our hearts that says "do not be afraid" and "this is the way, walk in it." That different spirit is the Holy Spirit who doesn't just influence us to make the right decisions as in days of old... but instead dwells within us and changes us into the people who can walk in God's ways.

Caleb and Joshua had that different spirit... and so it was that one generation later, when all their contemporaries had passed away in the wilderness... it was they that spearheaded the campaign to claim what God had promised them.

So when the loud clamour of noise tells you that only doom and failure lies ahead, always remember that if God has promised something... it is he who will enable you to attain that promise. Have faith, keep on believing... and you will see God's wonders.

Evans Above!

2009-04-11T21:20:00.003Z

Just a brief interlude in the proceedings to say a hearty well done to Good Evans, who featured on Britain's Got Talent earlier tonight.

I don't normally watch the show but the father - Giles, used to go to the same Fellowship group as me (although he was well established when I had just started), and so it's only fair that I show a bit of support and solidarity for him and his posse by plugging them a little here. So this is them in action on the show:

They were certainly a welcome relief after some crazy witch Grotbags wannabe came on and cursed the panel.

So well done Giles & Co... keep up the work as long as you can!

A Different Vigil

2009-04-10T15:52:00.002Z

As you may or may not know, on Maundy Thursday, I have in recent years had a tradition of visiting the church in my home town and sitting there in prayer for about an hour or so.

I do this in gratitude for what I believe Jesus did for me, because I like to try and give a little bit back. Knowing that he had nobody with him 2,000 years ago as he knelt and prayed with the weight of destiny and the knowledge of what he must suffer on his shoulders; I can't help but feel a sadness that his best friends couldn't keep their eyes open just for a while. So with this very much in mind and knowing that God is eternal, I go... to pray for Jesus in Gethsemane in the time leading up to his arrest, even though I know what happened. It's not that I think I'm anything fantastic, I do it completely as a response to what he first did for me.

However, having been to Israel and sat upon the Mount of Olives... I am now acutely aware that churches are perhaps not the best place to do this. Jesus did not go to the temple. Jesus went to the hill that looked across to his city, and watched over it as he prayed.I wanted to connect to that notion a little better. So last night, I changed old habits. I very nearly didn't, if the weather had been inclement... I would have abandoned the notion.

At about midnight, I took a torch and backpack and headed out to Primrose Hill. As you may know from previous Easter entries, this is the hill that every year blooms with a 30ft daffodil cross.... and this year is no exception (although the daffodils have bloomed even earlier and are know dying... and their number was somewhat diminished due to people sledging in winter).

I gingerly hopped across the A46 dual carriageway as Royal Mail lorries thundered past me deep into the night. Making my way along a bridle path, I eventually found the field that led to the hill. As I was now pretty much off the beaten track, I was quite anxious. Despite the presence of the moon, it was quite hard to make out entirely where I was going. I didn't know what critters were out there and my deepest concern was being discovered by some shotgun wielding angry farmer demanding to know my business at midnight... there was the loud sound of a gate rattling, it sounded as if someone had discovered me... but nothing came of it.

So it was that I found myself sitting above the crossbeam of the daffodil cross, illuminated only by the moon's pale light... and looking down upon the streetlights of the sleeping town of Alcester.

It was a moving experience. I really didn't feel alone. I had a great sense of God's presence as I prayed over the town... and for the historical event I was commemorating. I think it was more poignant and relevant for me to be able to do it this way. I eventually left the hill at 1am and made my way back into town. I did stop off and spend some time in the church, but being out there on the hill, really gave me a deeper appreciation and sense of "being there".

Having said that, being on a hill in the middle of nowhere is a little intimidating... especially when you aren't sure you should be there.

I am of a mind to do this again next year... but I'm seriously thinking of gathering a few brave souls to join me.... simply because I feel more could be done with a few more people.

Sorry I've been absent, had a few things on my mind lately... and for those of you who have access to the Inner Sanctum part of my blog, I may expand more a little on said things.

I have had a blog brewing for some time and I hope to post it very soon, however until that time... have an incredibly blessed Easter. Whatever you do with your time, I pray the peace of Christ that was won for us at great cost on that first Good Friday will fill your hearts and minds.

Different

2009-03-17T00:14:00.004Z

Well I made it back.

But before I post anything about my experiences in the Promised Land, I thought I'd like to share with you the effect my miniature odyssey has had on me.

I feel like my procrastination levels have dropped significantly. Yes I think about things, but in several key circumstances recently I have found myself acting on my thoughts within a relatively short space of time. I don't seem to be afraid of my choices any more. I accept that some of those choices are not always going to pay off how I might like... but I'm not as scared of making those decisions as once I might have been.

What is more I seem more resilient to things that normally would have bothered me no end. Someone said something to me recently which normally would have speared me clean through and left me moping for ages... but I found that while I was initially hurt by the words, in hours they bounced off. I was bruised but not broken by it. I was kind of thinking... "Huh? This isn't supposed to happen!"

I think too much good has happened for me to risk casting it all aside over any one thing.

I set out for Israel in the hope of achieving three personal objectives. All three of those were met by the grace of God.

I flew, there and back again.

I swam in En Gedi and the Dead Sea (if you are a casual reader you are thinking "so what". However, if you know me, you know the reasons why I had hang ups on that front).

I met several Palestinian Christians.

How those things played out are tales in themselves... but the first two were utterly crucial steps in claiming back ground in my heart of hearts... and I simply could not have done it without the grace of God. However, in doing those very things I find myself changed and changed for the better.

The rules of the game have been favourably altered.

Remember an old passage I quoted in a time of sadness?

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

Proverbs 13:12

Well...in the past couple of days I've found myself coming back to a passage that was mentioned quite early on in our studies in Israel:

"But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever. I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is good. I will praise you in the presence of your saints."

Psalm 52:8-9

Perhaps some very important longings (longings I may not have been entirely aware of), have been fulfilled. And with that fulfilment there is perhaps the promise of a new period of personal growth.

I remember very clearly the day I dived into the waters of En Gedi. I remember it especially because earlier that day I had nearly collapsed with heat stroke on the barren slopes of Masada. I somehow made it to the bottom and kept myself going... but it was not until En Gedi that I was restored to a better condition.

That event was a microcosm for so much in my life. Trying to climb down from a desolate fortress in the beating rays of the midday sun, and then discovering that in order to be restored, I needed to commit myself to do doing something I feared and let God have me in a situation I did not wish to consciously go. Plunging into those icy waters was not just restoring to my body but restoring to my soul... something I feel the whole holiday experience has been about. I am determined to see that the lessons and experiences I have taken from my trip, are not lost from memory or time.

But I have a question to ask of you.

Are you on Masada or in the springs of En Gedi? Are you stranded on a mountain and failing fast, or have you learned that there is an answer to your weariness and burdens... albeit a difficult answer that requires you to face something you fear or are uncomfortable with? Sometimes you have to face your Masada's before you can finally be in a place to find the refreshing spring.

But please take it from someone who knows. As awkward, troubling and challenging as that journey may seem to you... you should take it, because restoration is at hand for the one who is willing to surrender to God instead of striving through their sorrows.

May God bless you, grant you courage and above all... restore your soul.

Fulfillment?

2009-03-04T18:44:00.004Z

This time tomorrow I shall not be in the UK.

That's quite a daunting prospect for me... afraid as I am of the whole idea of flying.

However, as I prepare to head out into the skies above Europe, one thought occupies my mind. It is the memory of a vision I had many years ago whilst praying. I've shared it here before, but I have special reason for raising it again now.

In my vision, I saw an eagle hovering over a cliff top and stripping the nest of it's young.

I felt very strongly that God was saying to me, that this was his desire for me - that he was going to take away the things that forced me to stay on the ledge, he was calling me to fly with him. This image remained with me and was bolstered by a two friends independently telling me the same story (but crucially ending it differently).

The story concerned a man who had stolen an eagle's egg and had taken it home to his farm to hatch it among his chickens.

As the eagle grows, it pecks the dirt along with the chickens it has lived among. Then one day, as it reaches adulthood; a great eagle flies over the farm. Looking up, the eagle asks his chicken "siblings" what it is. They tell him that it is an eagle and that it belongs to the sky... but they are chickens and they belong to the ground.

Sadly in one version, the eagle takes heed of the chickens... and lives out it's days believing it was nothing more.

Crucially though, I also heard a version where the eagle listens to an unheard voice... a deeper call. It beats it's wings, takes to the sky and lets the thermals take it up to be with it's own kind.

My fears and anxieties would have me peck in the dirt till the end of my days. The people who have pegged me in a certain light, would have me remain in the mould they have cast for me. Since I booked my holiday last year, a lot of things have been happening to try and discourage me... the political unrest flaring up in Gaza... the increase in the number of planes dropping out of the sky.

This is me saying no to it all. This is me saying, I've got to trust that voice within - the one who calls me from the cliff side... trust him no matter what happens and no matter where he takes me. This is me breaking through the latex barrier that protects me and yet prevents me from exposing myself to situations where I can potentially thrive.

And as I take to the skies literally, in a very real sense my actions will be heralding a far more important flight somewhere deep within my soul.

A passage for you as I leave. Please ignore the fact that it is sometimes regarded as a
cliché, it is not. It certainly is not for me in my current context:

"Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:28-31

Jesus also said that he who wants to save his life will lose it, but he who is prepared to lose it for him, will live. We often tend to regard that saying as to the physical concept of life and death. I'm not sure that's the only way it should be seen though. Jesus also told the parable of the talents. That's a tale where a man loses everything because he's not prepared to risk what he's been given. Now I'm not advocating gambling here. I'm talking about the willingness to invest in things God tells you to invest in, even though you don't see a potential harvest. That's the kind of living sacrifice I talk about. If we aren't prepared to take those risks, then I truly believe that parts of us begin to die.

As Captain Kirk once said: "risk is part of the game if you want to sit in that chair."

In fact I'll play you out with the theme song from the much maligned Star Trek series, Enterprise... because it encapsulates a lot of what I am speaking about.

May God bless you until my return.

I Minus 7 Days

2009-02-26T23:40:00.004Z

This is it... the final countdown.

It's been a long road but in seven days, I finally reach that crossroads where I choose adventure or fear. Do I stay here and live according to routine, or do I break the cycle and do something different and a little risky. If everything works out... this time next week I'll be in another country having ridden upon the clouds for the very first time.

Of course, the time for questioning myself is practically speaking... far too late. I've invested too much time, money, effort and hope to abandon my personal quest now. So it's time to spread the wings and let the breeze take me up into the stratosphere, a time to raise the main mast and tack into the wind.

If you had asked me 9 months ago how I would have expected to feel about this trip, I would tell you that it would be something like 85% anxiousness and 15% eager anticipation, so I'm quite surprised to find myself in a position that is somewhat the reverse of that.

It is interesting that in the time I've waited since booking my little holiday, my destination has become more than a little politically unstable... and the average number of aeroplanes dropping out of the sky has also increased. It's almost as if the world doesn't want me to break the chains it has forged for me... but I shall not be bound by a lesser master.

Curiously I've also been dwelling on a dream I had some time ago concerning my destination and wondering if it was as random as I might have thought.

It's also interesting that I caught the end of Vanilla Sky on TV the other night. It's kind of the position I find myself in:

... and I think I'm going to leave you with that thought - that every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around,and that more importantly... if the world around you is becoming a dystopia shaped by your fears and anxieties. You need to surrender to what is greater (Him) in order to wake up to a real life.

God bless

Nick

Real Reality TV

2009-02-26T18:57:00.003Z

Take a good look at yourself in the mirror.

No, really... take a long hard look.

Do you like what you see? Do you think you measure up sufficiently to the standards of those around you? Do you think they would approve of you being seen in public?

You probably don't have the faintest idea what I'm talking about.

Following on from my recent post entitled Lepers, Shades and Pariahs; it wasn't long before a very real and disturbing example of the kind of prejudice and discrimination I was talking about, surfaced on the news...

CBeebies TV presenter Cerrie Burnell, was the unfortunate target of some pathetically bigoted parents here in the UK. What was her crime?

Cerrie was born without the lower half of her right arm.

This doesn't in any way affect how she does her job, but some "worried" parents voiced concern that her appearance might disturb their children, stop them getting a proper night's sleep and terrify them.

Shall I tell you what terrifies me?

The fact that there are adults out there who share that opinion. Sometimes there is nothing as bigoted as parents who are full of their own self righteousness.

It's people like that who have in the past helped to neutralise my own sense of self worth. You see, I myself have a slight disfigurement - a scar on the centre of my chest... but I'm extremely lucky "tis but a scratch!" I can cover it up... the convenience of that fact is quickly substituted for cowardice and without exception I hide my scar away.

The fact that there are people out there such as Cerrie, who not only cannot hide their differences, but furthermore say "why the heck should I hide?" is a source of great inspiration. I do not believe she chooses to do this to provoke a reaction or make a point, she just does what feels natural and comfortable to her... and that is the real point.

Children will not be terrified - true... some kids who have been raised poorly (and sadly there are a number of them), will mock, but the vast majority of children will probably insatiably curious at first (as children so wonderfully are), and then they will just shrug and get on with it. Children don't start out with discriminative attitudes... these are learnt as they grow up.

I never used to be bothered by my scar as a child, but it all changed when I grew up and I never really understood why... it was a puzzle to me. However, it's through this recent turn of events (which I am reliably informed by a transatlantic friend has now hit the US national news), that I think I have finally grasped what a significant part of that puzzle might be...

As a child, I thought like a child. I didn't care about adults opinions of what I looked like, I just wanted to have fun and... be a kid. However, when I grew up... suddenly the opinions of adults started to matter a lot. I've talked recently about the danger of being defined by others views about yourself... and I know I promised to return to that subject (I haven't forgotten). It's yet another example of caring too much what people think. I don't think the timing of this is entirely coincidental for me, as I'm on a part of my journey where I will perhaps have a chance... no, maybe even a necessary opportunity to challenge that.

There's a certain level of unfair expectation on television here in the UK. People are known to get their noses out of joint even when presenters retain their regional accents (I was very surprised when my current favourite weather presenter was criticised for this... even though I think her accent is slight). Society is enthralled by so called "reality TV", but if we are genuinely serious about reality on our televisions; then surely true reality is not merely showcasing ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances, but breaking down barriers and allowing people who don't fit the traditional stereotypical roles, to be extraordinary people in ordinary circumstances.

Humans come in all shapes, sizes and designs... why shouldn't they all find equal representation on the glowing magical box in the corner of our living room.

Lepers, Shades and Pariahs

2009-02-08T20:58:00.006Z

Today at church, we looked at the topic of leprosy.

Biblical leprosy is pretty vague, because the term leprosy could apply to any number of skin conditions that made a person unclean. I would imagine that even eczema would come under the umbrella of leprosy back in the ancient world.

Essentially if you woke up one morning with a skin condition, you had it looked at... and if it was proclaimed leprous, you were carted off to a remote place, tucked conveniently away from the guilty eyes of a society that feared you, where you could not spread your uncleanness. The image that says most prevalent in my mind, is the leper colony in Ben Hur - a vast, labyrinthine desolate quarry where people wander aimlessly, devoid of hope... like wraiths... shades of Hades.

Imagine the life you were being condemned to lead...if you had a non-contagious skin-disease, and you were lumped in with people who have a contagious one.

With the advent of modern medical understanding and treatment, I wonder how easily do we look down with disdain on our forefathers for excluding their stricken brethren?

Do we have an excuse? Do we have a right? Or is there an inconvenient log of wood lodged firmly and hypocritically in our eye?

We are all familiar what the connotations of the disease were because the meaning of the word has diversified to include people who find themselves on the society for a whole multitude of different reasons... not just medical.

As we were reminded in church today... we all have our lepers.

There are people around us in society we find it all too easy to turn a blind eye towards, because we foolishly allow ourselves to fall unconsciously into the deluded notion that the world revolves around our sphere of influence.

Preaching this morning, Julian Davy highlighted the plight of the elderly... how just saying hello in the street more often, might make their day. It brought to my mind the recent news that statistically, dementia is on the increase. Although most forms of dementia probably have a genetic trigger; the more isolated and less occupied a person becomes, the swifter the curtain draws in on them... and the shades come to claim them. As society becomes more and more insular... as we take less interest (and when I say interest I mean that of a compassionate nature, not nosey or meddling), the people on the outside become more distant and are in more danger of being lost. It doesn't matter what they are being lost to... what does matter, is that they are needlessly being left on the event horizon of a calamitous emotional black hole - at the heart of which sits the unquenchable singularity of loneliness and despair.

We can ill afford to abandon anyone to such a merciless foe... lest one day through mishap or neglect, we too find ourselves on the other side of the coin... drifting ever closer to the point of no return.

Personally my own thoughts took me much further than the sermon went today. Just before setting off for this morning's service, one of my bugbears reared it's ugly head in the news... and I was reminded that lepers aren't just people who are less fortunate, or ignored... they are sometimes people who are very much in our face - those we consider our adversaries.

We need to learn to separate our rejection of certain ideas and acts, from those that hold them. Love the sinner, hate the sin. What the sin is I won't preach on... that's down to whatever God convicts in your heart.

The remarkable thing about Christ, is that he didn't just acknowledge lepers... he engaged with them. The scripture tells us he was moved with genuine compassion. He did not fear their contagion and he did not despise their uncleanness. He walked right up to them and pulled them out of their personal Hell.

He didn't just do this with the physically sick. He did this with all societies outcasts - the foreigner, the prostitutes, the lunatics, the terrorists, the corrupt. He went out of his way to ignore the mores of others around him, if he thought they were wrong. Tax collectors and zealots were mortal enemies... but it didn't stop Jesus appointing one from each group to be among his apostles. In Christ's company, the individual wrongs and weaknesses of both those groups were wiped away and someone new was born within both Levi and Simon. He accepted them as they were and let his nature, his truth transform them. You can only do that from a place of acceptance.

Since when did we decide we should do otherwise? Who preached this message?

Martin Luther King once said that he was convinced that in the final analysis, unarmed truth and unconditional love would have the final say in reality. We were talking about truth the other day and as we discussed, truth needs no weapon to strip us down and bring us crashing to our knees.

We don't need to rage aggressively against the things we disagree with, to make our point stick. If we do, it will not avail us because those are not the weapons we were equipped with. If you look at the armour of God, you'll notice something interesting. Righteousness is not a weapon, it's a breastplate. Righteousness protects us. If we remove it and start battering other people over the head with it, we leave our heart exposed and unguarded... and in the end it will be to our own ruin.

The weapon we are given is sword of the Spirit... the word of God. Scripture describes it as being able to separate marrow from bone. It can discern. In short, it is God's word that convicts people... not our interpretation of that word. A dozen people can be sat in a room and told the same story... and each one will walk away convicted and/or inspired by God in their own way. It is our place to deliver God's message. It is he himself who shapes it and crafts it to fit each individual.

We merely need to be assertive with the unconditional love already given to us by God, extend it to others and be faithful to the word given to us.

There's a Good Friday hymn that we sing in which we proclaim that:

My song is love unknown,
My Saviour's love to me
Love to the loveless shown

That they might lovely be.

This is the message we must reclaim if we are sincere in our belief - if you want someone to be lovely, you have to love them.

I am utterly convinced that Chris Martin was at least in part influenced by that hymn when he wrote the Coldplay song "A Message". That song is the thought I'd like to leave you with tonight. Please listen to it and think very carefully about the people you know who have become lepers, shades or pariahs in your life. Or perhaps you feel that you are on an outcast... and if that is the case, I urge you all the more to listen... because no matter how the facts as you see them seem to be playing out, you do not have to be alone:

May God bless you.

Twits Should Twitter

2009-01-29T22:06:00.003Z

... and so I've succumbed to the bug that is twittermania.

Twitter is for all those annoying people like me, who just love to wax lyrical with their status updates on Facebook... be it cryptic, quoting lyrics, or just being utterly random. You can find me out there with my immense following of... 2, under the username of Gwalchavad.

So far, I've managed to track down a few renowned people... practically everyone on planet Earth is now Stephen Fry's follower (I have proposed in jest, that he should start a new cult - The Church of Fryentology, heh heh). I've also located MC Hammer, Wil Wheaton and also Felicia Day from Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.

If you are out there, come on in and say hello... it would be nice to get into double figures.

The Inconvenience of Truth

2009-01-27T21:37:00.003Z

I've been giving a lot of thought lately to the subject of truth, hard truth and nothing but the potent driving force of truth.

A few of my friends are going through personal struggles at the moment, struggles which I am acutely aware revolve around them needing to face something about themselves that they are uncomfortable with.

Much as we may admire the validity of truth, even it's necessity... equally we find we are uncomfortable with the concept.

Truth by it's very nature leaves us naked and cold, beneath the gaze of the watching world. In the book of Genesis, it's the realisation of literal nakedness, that drives man to first hide from God...

... and he's been running like a madman ever since.

I have some friends I used to know at church. They went to university and never came back. However, when I or other people from our shared background try to add them as friends to something as trivial as Facebook, they universally ignore us. I truly believe they are so afraid that we will hit them with the belief mallet, that they run a mile.

I find that sad.

I've always tried to accept people where they in their lives... even if their path leads them somewhere I am not comfortable with. It's their choice, their life... and they must do as they see fit.

I truly believe that such people are afraid... not so much of the people they used to know, but more about the fact that in revisiting the past, they have to ask hard questions about where they are now.Faced with that decision, it's sometimes easy to see why people prefer to hide in the dark... underneath the duvet.

And on a much more serious note...

For those of you who are not aware, today is Holocaust Memorial Day... it is a day when the need for truth is great. We live in an age where evil men, men who in an attempt to justify their vile politics and beliefs, seek to deny or cover up the deeds of their political ancestors. "The Holocaust didn't happen!" is their battle cry... or often they are more subtle and merely try to play down the figures...

... but how can you play down astronomical figures that reach well into the millions?

Think about that for a second and don't look at it as if it's merely another number... millions!

That's all your family... gone.

All your friends... gone.

All your neighbours... gone.

The simple truth is that too many people were cruelly snatched away from this life for it to be so casually dismissed as it is by some. Heck - even if it were just one person, that would be one person too much... nobody deserves to live and eventually die like that... nobody.

People who committed such atrocities and those who seek to deny them, adopt such a position because deep down they know how so very wrong their dark ideologies are. They have to harden their hearts and blind themselves to it... because that is the only way they can justify themselves.

Jesus once commented on the human habit of hiding from the truth:

"This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

John 3:19-21

Some of that is a bit heavy... and some of it seems nonsensical. Are all men wilfully evil, are we to be lumped in with those who approve of genocide? Well no, Jesus isn't saying we all go round looking for innocent children to butcher, he's saying that we are all corrupted by our human nature, broken by it... and under it's and influence. It's our sinfulness that wants to hide... you've all heard of the mythical "11th" commandment- don't get caught out. Make no mistake. though.. whether our sins are as despicable as genocide or typically menial (as most people's probably are by comparison); the final fate of a life spent outside of the grace of God, is the same... death.

We must all face the truth... we must all face up to what we have done. However... there is hope.

Facing the truth is not so much about facing up to what you have done. Truth is about facing him.

Real truth is a person:

Jesus said "I am the way and the truth and the life".

He also said that if we followed him (in his strength), that we would know the truth and the truth would set us free.

Knowing Jesus is freedom.

But what of truly evil men who repent? You know... the ones who turn to God after a life of despicable acts? What does Jesus mean when he says that it may be plainly seen that what these people have done has been done through God? Does he mean that all the evil that men do, is fuelled by God?

No.

What he means, is that when these people turn around from their wickedness and turn away from their vile acts, it is God who enabled them to do it.

All that is required on our part, is that we turn to Jesus and look at him. If we constantly look at what we have done, we get dragged down into the miry clay. If we fix our gaze on him, his love compels us to rise out of the pit. We have to let him look at the depths of our heart... and understand that no matter what we have done, we are not beyond salvation. The only thing that will not be forgiven is our unwillingness to be forgiven... our stubborn refusal to accept his grace.

In the Babylon 5 episode, The Very Long Night of Londo Mollari, the titular character has a near fatal heart attack and whilst unconscious goes through an arduous epiphany. He stubbornly refuses to face what he's done to the character of G'Kar, only two words are required of him. Two genuine, heartfelt words that will set him free from his perilous condition...

"I'm sorry"

That is merely a picture... but it is the same. All we need to do in order to be saved, is take the courage to look at Jesus - let him know how genuinely sorry we are for our broken ways, and he will transform us with his love.

There's an old worship song that comes to mind... and I think I'll part with it's words for now, leaving it as a meditation for you to contemplate.... whoever you are and whatever you've done:

God of grace, I turn my face
To You, I cannot hide
My nakedness, my shame, my guilt
Are all before Your eyes

Strivings and all anguished dreams
In rags lie at my feet
And only grace provides the way
For me to stand complete

And Your grace clothes me in righteousness
And Your mercy covers me in love
Your life adorns and beautifies
I stand complete in You

© 1990 Sovereign Lifestyle Music

Jabbed.

2009-01-20T21:40:00.004Z

With my very first personal odyssey of discovery looming, I'm having to make certain preparations that I'm not used to. Firstly I've purchased a pair of indestructible sandals in the sales. I promise I will not be wearing them with socks.

I've never been a sandal fan, but these are quite different. They are closed toe; so my awkward, accident prone feet will be safely shielded from danger. They have extremely sturdy soles for rigorous walking and they are not harmed in salt water either.

I think someone has basically found an amphibious assault craft, removed two shoe shaped segments and essentially glued a cushioned sole to them. They are seriously comfy and dare I say... awesome.

Today we started to get into the serious territory though... the jabs. Fortunately I only needed one (protection against Hepatitis A), and I was lucky to have time owed in lieu at work... so I left at 5pm and headed off to the doctors.

It was very kind of President Obama to wait a few minutes till I got into my car before getting sworn in. I was further impressed when he kept his speech to the length of my car journey from work to the doctors. I actually thought he did extremely well. He paused in the middle of being sworn in, I guess the enormity of the words that were coming out of his mouth had actually struck him something like:

"Oh flip... I'm the President!"

Irrespective of what people think of Obama's policies and political leanings, there's no doubting the man is a born orator. I was first truly impressed with his skills as a speaker when he responded to the Rev Jeremiah Wright incident. Instead of getting caught on the back foot, he spent a good lengthy period unravelling American history and diagnosing the various causes of the grievances in American society... white and black. He did a brave thing, he said that both groups had a right to feel aggrieved but equally both bore a burden of responsibility about how to heal the problem from their own side of the field. I found that speech fascinating as it demonstrated a great deal of personal knowledge about the history, culture, of the various peoples of America...

... and today that knowledge came to the fore once more as he appealed to his people -all of them. The time for talking is over for now though, and when tomorrow dawns... the business of government cranks into gear once more for America.

Following the speech, I found myself waiting in the surgery for about quarter of an hour before being seen to. Little tip... don't wear a white shirt when getting a jab.

As I walked out into the main reception area, everyone who was still waiting started getting jittery as they gazed upon the red patch of blood that had stained a significant patch on my arm.

For the record, I still don't have a clue what blood group I am. Red and gloopy is the best description I can manage.

Anyway, the jab was surprisingly painless (my last booster jab for tetanus caused some stiffness in my arm, but no such qualms here).

In other unrelated news, I've been up to no good. I've dug out some old college videos on VHS. I don't have the proper equipment to transfer them to computer... but I do have a digital camera. So I took great pleasure in filming segments of these videos and posting them on Facebook. I'm a bit wary about posting them on YouTube (I borrowed a couple of effects shots for my college project). I'd love to show you them but you may need to twist my arm.

However, one video I have uploaded to YouTube... it was a pop promo from my days in college. We had to edit footage to the beat of a music video. Out of the three options we were given, I chose Money for Nothing by Dire Straits. Off I scuttled with a camcorder, sought permission to film in the local church and then filmed the praise band setting up (I think I improved their sound heh heh!)

The video essentially turns the concept of fame on it's head and was almost prophetic about reality TV. I shot it from the perspective of a man (my dad) who is trapped in a television and wants to gain fame like the band who are not confined to a TV screen.Anyway for those who are curious about such things, or who want to see how tragic my hair looked 15 years ago, here it is in it's slightly bootleg looking glory:

Disruption & Confusion

2009-01-09T23:06:00.003Z

I have to confess that in many ways I'm glad to be back at work, following my Christmas break.

I've found the recent holidays a struggle. This is because the way I discipline myself revolves around work. I tend to have a quiet time to study during my lunch breaks; I find without some kind of structure to my day, I just tend to not bother. Usually this isn't a problem because I've normally got church to fall back on.

This last year's been very different though, because of the way services have been structured. Before this morning, the last time I went to church to take part in active worship was Christmas Day -which seems a lifetime away. I took my foot off the pedal a little and paid a bit of a price. Psychologically, I lost complete track of time and space and became utterly disorientated because all the days were the same.

Spiritually I got a little slack... which disappointed me.

I've recently reflected that often the annual message wheeled out at Christmas, is aimed at non-Christians, backsliders and people who generally are only likely to attend church during the seasonal period.... and rightly so, in many ways. However my own recent experience has given me reason to consider the other side of the coin - Christians who are solid 95% of the year and then coast for the last couple of weeks or so.

Some of you may be reading these words and thinking - this is typical slavish nonsense from a man who is bound in chains by the oppression of organized religion. You'd be wrong.

Christianity is full time - it's not a pastime, it's not a robotic regime of enforced servitude... it is a relationship with the living God. In a marriage, you are bound to your partner; in rearing children, parents and legal guardians are bound to those they are raising to adulthood. However... do you seriously think either of these groups - married couples or parents, regard the legal aspects of these relationships as their defining principles?

No.

In the majority of cases, the binding principle is LOVE.

It is no different in a relationship with God. In fact two of the strongest images we have in the Bible for the relationship God has with his people, is that of the bridegroom to his bride, and also that of the father to his children.

Jesus (and other Jewish teachers) even summarised the Law from 5 books of numerous rules and regulations, into two sentences about loving the Lord your God and loving your neighbour.

So for the cynics out there, I wish to make it clear... we do not love because we obey, we do our best to obey because we love. For the Christian, love must be at the root of all our actions... and not just our love, but God's.

My greatest concern about the Christmas lull is not about failing to attend services or observe rituals, but that it means time away from God as a loved one. It's similar to locking yourself in your room and not talking to your spouse or your parents for a week.

However, I'm finding that now we are back in the swing of things, I've found my feet again. Hopefully this means I'll be a lot more communicative in the weeks to come.

Until next time, my hope is that you have had a blessed new year.

It's Nothing Personal

2008-12-13T13:07:00.004Z

A couple of weeks ago I was having a conversation with a friend about the way I handle some of the injustices I see in the world around me.

He pointed out that I always take it personally, I always make it about my own issues with life. I believe this a form of what many psychologists would call transference.

It permeates so many of my attitudes in both personal encounters and international politics. It is both a strength and a weakness. It is the former because it reflects empathy, which I believe lies at the heart of loving your neighbour as yourself. However it is also a weakness because if left unchecked, it puts you at the centre of things... which isn't healthy. It also leaves me exposed to attack.

Many years ago, my parents were once told by my art teacher, that I had a very powerful imagination... but that I had a tendency to act without focus, I let my raw emotions and imagination control what I put down on paper. It was a strength because I conveyed powerful themes, it was a weakness because there was so much going on, so many ideas flowing onto the empty paper in front of me; that it was hard to understand the message that was at the heart of my work.

Sometimes more is less and less is more.

It's one thing to be passionate, it's quite another to be reckless and utterly governed by your emotions... and when I see injustices in other people's lives, I am often governed by my emotions.

Conversely when it comes to acting on behalf of myself, I find myself confined by procrastination and inaction.

I need to find balance and refinement.

In my favourite sequence from the film Highlander, Connor (Christopher Lambert) is being taught by Ramirez (Sean Connery). He is taught among many things, that if he overextends his thrust, he becomes off balance and vulnerable. This is exactly what happens with me. when I become emotionally attached to a topic. I throw my weight so readily into the battle, that I leave myself wide open. Sure I score a few mighty blows against what I'm facing... but I'm clumsy and I take a heck of a beating in response.

Ramirez teaches Connor that he must learn to harness his power.

This is something I need to do also.... under God's direction.

I can't go on being all or nothing. I can't just move from procrastination to nuclear assault and back again. I need to be passionate but measured.

Roger Morris once advised me that if I was not careful, I ran the risk of living my life defined by others... and he's right. I need to take on board what my friend said about taking things personally... but I must not assume I am completely wrong... because I am not my friend... I am me. My role and purpose in life is not identical to his. I must not allow myself to be made in the image of others. God has a shape in mind for the man I am to become and it's not the shape of any one person I know.

After all, "love your neighbour as yourself" is the SECOND greatest commandment. The FIRST is to "love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your strength". We need to make sure that God is at the centre and not ourselves, or anyone else.

Jesus had the complete human emotional experience... but never once did any one of those emotions overrule the most important emotion of all... love for the Father.

I intend to touch more on the subject of being defined by others"in the near future. For now though I want to leave you with this thought:

Listen to your friends, and heed their advice, but don't make pleasing them the heart of what you do. Don't lose sight of who and what God called you to be. You can serve your friends and yourself better by making sure God remains at the centre of things. I'm not talking religion here, I'm not talking about merely obeying what your vicar or pastor says... I'm not talking about surrendering your emotions to doctrine like a robot.I'm talking about taking your emotions and thoughts to God and engaging with him on these things. A relationship with God is not about rejecting your emotions and passions... it's about embracing them in the context of his will.

Cobwebs

2008-12-07T13:20:00.003Z

Right it's time to sweep out the cobwebs and blow the dust off of this place.

I've been gone too long. I've been suffering from a dry spell of late... and I've not been keeping the blog up to date. Sometimes if you just leave things, time moves on around them and they change and move on without you... and they can easily become unrecognisable:

I feel like I've stumbled upon one of my thinking places up Cold Comfort Lane. If I don't go to them for a lengthy period of time, they get overgrown with brambles and I can't use them until they are cleared.

It's a bit like walking back into a church that's been left empty for too long. However, there is a difference between a church that is empty and a church that is deserted. This blog is most definitely not destined to fall into the latter category, not while I still feel it serves a purpose both personally and publicly.

So as we draw nearer to Christmas, I hope to up my work rate somewhat. I need to. I need to get my creative juices in full swing again. I know striving is not the answer... my best inspiration comes from above. However while fire may not come without wind... sometimes you need to rub sticks together to prepare a catalyst for when the divine wind comes. It's not about doing things in your own strength; it's about making sure you are in a position, a frame of mind, to receive what is freely given.

I've had a similar debate about this with people who prefer to remain away from attending church on self-imposed sabbaticals while they wait for revival to come. I maintain that while the race may not be run until God moves... part of discipleship and faithful service to him, is our willingness to be ready. Paul puts it far more eloqouently:

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

So while it's important not to rush ahead and act without God... it is extremely healthy for us to spend time focussing on him, flexing our spiritual muscles so that when the starting pistol sounds, we are off the blocks in the best possible condition. Don't misunderstand me here... I'm not saying we have to slave away or God won't pour out his blessing. We are not the centre, God is... if he needs to do something powerful through us and we still aren't ready despite his prompting, his abundant transforming grace is there for us. My argument is merely that we have the option to choose a beneficial course of action while we wait for God... and not just the freedom to choose a permissive one.

Well, this post was just intended to be a quick wave through the window to get me back into good habits... a toe in the water, but already just the act of sitting in front of a blank screen has borne fruit.

So until next time (and by next time, I don't mean next month), be blessed.

The Wanderer Returns

2008-11-11T19:45:00.005Z

Sorry if I appear to have been absent for quite some time. Special thanks to Robin for prompting me to action... may God bless you for that... and I hope over the coming days something I type here will carry a word of encouragement or inspiration for you.

I keep meaning to return and post something meaningful, but every time I have reached a point where I feel able to put fingers to keyboard... events overtake me and I find myself facing uncomfortable truths and emotions.

Most recently I've been upset by what I perceive to be a situation where someone has received pearls... and they have treated them like swine. I'm not involved in the situation at all... I'm only seeing it from a distance, but what I have seen disgusts me.

If you are given things you treasure, you don't disrespect them... and you certainly don't show disrespect to the one who gave them to you.

However there's an equally deep and uncomfortable truth that mirrors the emotions I am feeling and reflects another harsh reality back at me. I'm betraying the traits of the prodigal son's older brother again. A fool might argue: if the other person doesn't turn away from their wrongdoing, they are not truly "prodigal"... but I'm not a fool. The older son was lost in his own way, yes he'd been faithful... but he'd harboured feelings of deep hurt right from the day his brother walked out. His own problems did not start with his brother... they came from within.

So I'm wise enough not to point the finger at the other person and yell to God "You've given this person X & Y and they've destroyed it... and I'd NEVER do that, yet I'm still denied... IT'S NOT FAIR!"

I won't lie... yes I've felt it... but that's just emotion and truth is more powerful than feeling.

I know the truth.

I'm also trying to make sacrifices before prayer group on Monday. In the past I went home first... but lately I've felt prompted to go straight to church. This really paid off the other week, as I was given an echo of an image from scripture that I originally received two years ago... and is relevant to where the church is at.

I'm also beginning to feel stirred up about stuff. I keep getting uncanny hints. I recently went to my old vicar's church and was surprised in conversation that things I'd been encouraged to do previously by another vicar, were being reaffirmed by a couple of random people I was chatting to.

The most startling thing occurred this evening as I was preparing to write this very post. I was scouring YouTube for a clip from the movie Excalibur to sum up my return to the blog after so long an absence. I found the clip and one of the text comments left by a user quoted this scripture:

"In a desert land he found him, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye, like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions. The LORD alone led him; no foreign god was with him.

Have I not kept this in reserve and sealed it in my vaults?"

Deuteronomy 32:10-12, 34

Now I've read that passage before and lately I've been recalling a vision I had years ago of an eagle hovering, stripping it's nest (I'm led to believe eagles do this in order that their young will learn to fly).

I am at once humbled, disturbed, astounded and encouraged by reading that... I consider it a timely word. It reminds me that there are promises out there for me, that God's been looking after me all this time... all this time, and when in his sovereignty he judges the time is right (and God like wizards is never late, he arrives precisely when he means to), everything which he has graciously planned for me, will come.

I am completely reminded that God is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or even imagine... and in the words of Han Solo "I can imagine quite a bit". One can only stand agape in wonder of God's awesomeness... if you could stand at all!

I recall with trepidation and eagerness in the same breath, words that resounded in my heart a long time ago...

"Everything will be given when everything is taken away."

but there is also the reassurance that came in some of my darkest hours...

"Whatever happens, it will be alright."

Time will tell.

Not All Differences Should Be Tolerated

2008-10-27T23:05:00.006Z

Normally it's an arrogance to assume your own culture is superior to that of another.

However there are exceptions.

I should explain...

Recently I've been giving thought to the recent tragic death of Gayle Williams - a charity worker who was based in Afghanistan. The Taleban took her life because they believed she was spreading Christianity.

Militants have been targeting Christians in the country for some time, but what makes this especially tragic is that they are so blind to the good in others (probably wilfully blind), that they can't see beyond their hatred of what is different.

It doesn't matter that Serve Afghanistan is committed to helping disabled people in Afghan communities... all they could see was that this lady was different because of her beliefs... and for some crazed reason... that was justifiable enough reason in their sight to kill.

And that ladies and gentlemen is why I believe in this respect, our culture IS superior. We would not tolerate the killing of anyone on the basis of their belief... we find the very idea disgusting. We have seen what racial/cultural intolerance can do when left unchecked... how many millions died in the last century because of the ideals of a few insane people? These thoughts are not far from us as we prepare to commemorate the price paid to rid the western world of such tyranny, over 60 years ago.

Some people say we have no right sharing our differences with others in their own country and should respect the local culture without trying to impact upon it... yes, there is a valid point there... to a certain extent.

Except for one thing - nobody has a right to restrict an idea or a philosophy by an imaginary line around a patch of land. Every human being has the right to decide to believe as they will... it's not something that governments or militias should have any say in whatsoever.

I have a friend who is currently doing aid work in another south-east Asian country, and she lives under the shadow of being exposed to these potential dangers every day. So naturally this is a concern for me.

Some countries such as North Korea even take unspeakably revolting steps to prevent access to positions of faith that differ to that of the State... or punish their own people for daring to believe differently... and this is unacceptable.

It's a far cry from the kind of comfy world that we in the West are used to, where our governments responses to other cultures is to accommodate and assimilate (sometimes at the expense of what we might perceive our own heritage to be).

Personally I think everyone on the planet should be allowed to propagate their own beliefs and opinions so long as they don't conduct a "negative campaign", that is to say... adopt the tactic of attacking another person's culture. I certainly don't think the Early Church did that. I believe it's primary tactic was to emphasise the merits of living in Christ.

I know some may be reading this and thinking that those who are "foolish" enough to subscribe to a belief system can't complain when someone with a strong disagreement comes along with an objection... and to them I say, take the log out of your own eye - that's your own prejudice telling you that...and the sooner you wise up to it, the better off you'll be. This isn't something that is restricted to religion, faith and belief.

How many things - be they sublime or ridiculous, are people prepared to hurt or kill others over?

One of the darker aspects of human nature, is that when we are gathered in sufficient number, there is a temptation to view the smaller different groups with disdain, disgust and even hostility.

But we are better than this... we don't have to accept this stupid animalistic side to our natures... we are something better and nobler - all of us... and if half the world needs waking up to that, maybe that's something we need to look at.

But not through the crosshairs of a weapons periscope, or down the barrel of a gun.

Feral

2008-10-17T23:09:00.003Z

I'm sorry that I've been absent for some time.

I'm not that productive at this time of year, I really do struggle. I somehow think I'm supposed to hibernate from the end of October to the end of February.

Do you think I could persuade my doctor to sign me off sick with "hibernation"?

It's got to be worth giving it a go!

Can you imagine? A quarter of a year off work spent in bed because the Doctor says you have a justifiable medical need for it.

Anyway aside from all this, I've found myself in a bit of a wild state. It seems that apart from trying to fend off the lethargy that comes during the winter months, I'm getting overwhelmed with all sorts of emotions.

I find this quite strange because I'm sure my head should be winding down from stuff like that now... not cranking it back up!

Perhaps it doesn't work like that. Maybe we don't fade up and down with the seasons... perhaps we hit erratic highs and lows while we slow down in Winter or speed up in Spring.

All I know is that at the moment I'm really sensitive to stuff.... positive and negative. It's not leading me anywhere dodgy or bad.... but it's there all the same, my feral side - the part of me that reacts instinctively to the situations and emotions I'm presented with, and pays no heed to any ideas of analysis or procrastination I might normally subscribe to.

Oh well, I'm just going to enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts and milk it for all it's worth.

God bless

N

Moving Swiftly On

2008-09-24T21:34:00.004Z

As you may have gathered, yesterday was pretty intense and my post was verging on primal.

Since that time, I've had opportunity to reflect on the things that have hurt me and think I have found a way of coming to terms with the things that irritate me and as a result, I'm more philosophical about going forwards.

I was sitting in my car and praying about my feelings, my attitude and the events and actions that led up to them. I suddenly became aware that there is a lesson to be learned here... I've learned it before in another area of my life.

It's the lesson of letting go.

In surgery there comes a time when those operating have to agree that the battle is lost and continuing is a waste of resources. Similarly, while saving the past is a noble pursuit... it must not be done at the expense of the present or future. God knows I have a stubborn streak running right through me. Is it just stubbornness though... or is it actually arrogance? When everyone else walks away, I remain... because some part of me thinks I can hold the centre.

But is it actually my place to hold the centre?

No it isn't. This is riding a dead horse. If I keep devoting my energies to people who have disappeared over the horizon, I'm not going to be able to be there for the people who are to come... and I'm going to burn myself out.

I learned this many years ago in respect of relationships... and now I realise it's equally applicable here.

Let the dead bury the dead.

That's not to say I will slam the door on people who have come and gone... it just means I have no need of their approval... and I'm not being held back any more.

You see it's occurred to me, this is just another step on the road I'm travelling... a necessary one. When I go to Israel next year, who knows what I'm going to discover? One thing I do know though... if I go out there still looking back, I'm going to miss the moments.

In fact, that is just as true now... isn't it?

So onwards I travel... and no longer shall I let my gaze linger on the road behind me.

Now is it just synchronicity that "The Times They Are A-Changin" is playing on my Last.fm radio.

Doldrums

2008-09-23T20:16:00.002Z

I've had a pretty uncomfortable couple of days.

Forgive me for what is going to be a little history lesson but thinking back, I believe it all started while I was meeting a couple of friends, who during the course of conversation were putting forward the idea of a reunion of sorts. This reminded me of a time when I was let down bitterly by many good friends. We used to meet and have a reunion once a year in the pub... but this started to become impractical and I organised a meet up at my own home. Despite people's promises and the effort I put in, almost no-one showed up... most painfully of all, it was some of the people who I am (maybe I should say was) closest to, who let me down... and I haven't forgotten.

You know it is remarkable how self-absorbed people can be... it really is and it is getting to be ridiculous. People always come to me with problems they want to share, or prayer requests... and yet on the rare occasions I go to them with even the slightest concern, they start rubbing their chin like a dodgy plumber and coming over all "tricky, could be tricky... not sure I can fit it in really".

The truth is that people when they get their slice of pie on this Earth, can be very neglectful of the friends they leave behind. Yes I know people have other commitments... but to completely shut out those people who have helped contribute to who you are today? Disgusting. I mean take for example when people return to town after a long time away... do they ever bother to ring or text for a night out? No.

They have forgotten.

I think what really hurts though, is to see people enjoying the things you can only dream of... and then on the odd occasion when they stuff things up or need help, they come to the one person whose plate is practically empty to ask for bread.

It's been rough... I had a bad Monday at work, and I'm being faced with an overload of people celebrating their own blessings... whilst I'm feeling somewhat of an outcast/exile. I think this is all being exacerbated by a change in the seasons... and I'm sure these feelings will pass. However even if they do.... will the reasons for them also disappear?

Unrequited love is a terrible thing... but how much worse is unrequited friendship?

Dangerous Conversations and 70's Cheese.

2008-09-20T10:04:00.003Z

I decided to enter this post to lighten the mood a little after my recent critical response.

There are certain things you should NEVER say to me in conversation. This has nothing to do with things that anger or upset me... and everything to do with my loopy imagination. One such topic came up in a discussion at work on Thursday.

We were talking about potential inspiration for this year's Secret Santa and was recalling the exploits of one of the auditors who dived off the roof in order to retrieve a heater that had err... fallen down onto the roof of an adjoining shop (yes I do realise how that sounds). I jokingly suggested that a good suggestion for him, would be a Spider-Man costume...

...and then it happened.

It was revealed that the fiance of one colleague works in a warehouse that supplies fancy dress costumes... and every so often the returns department have a clear out and dish out free or discount costumes.

That my friends is a classic example of the kind of thing you should never say around me... because I was already at this point imagining myself in costume stalking the office to the funky but cheesy theme of the 1970's live action Spider-Man television series that starred Nicholas Hammond.

I have fond memories of that show. When I was a child, I loved it because I thought it was cool. Looking back on it now I love it because the acting, the choreography and effects look so cheap. It falls into the "so bad that it's brilliant" category. Here are a few classic examples of what I'm talking about:

Seriously... you've got to love it. It's totally caught up in the 70's obsession with Kung Fu. The wire work is that bad it looks like he is Moonwalking up the walls. Then there's the seriously malfunctioning Spidey Sense. Not only does he not have precognitive warnings of imminent danger... he actually doesn't even appear to notice said danger until a few moments after he's been hit (the tranq dart in the arm in China being the prime example). For that matter... what's with the tranq darts? Apparently back in the 70's villains and goons were jolly decent and didn't use weapons that might actually kill people, they just doped them up with tranquilisers.

What a fundamentally better world we would live in if criminals were like that today... just drugging people unconscious instead of killing them.

But it was a family show... we are talking the 70's here - pure funk! We are firmly in the era of the "non-death", the philosophy that would eventually culminate in 80's classics like The A-Team - where crack commando units shoot bullets at people's feet and miraculously miss, heroes use cabbage bazookas to defeat gangs armed with M16 machine-guns... and villains can blow up in horrific helicopter crashes, only to emerge from the blazing wreckage with nothing more serious than a sore head that they rubbed.

Forget realism... these shows were pure Tom & Jerry action and we loved them.

So when you mention the idea of getting fancy costume on the cheap to me... you'd better watch out! You just don't know what kind of creature you might be unleashing...