La République Française v Vinay Orekondy

Une Nuit Bizarre! (A strange night)

2006-03-28T07:04:00.000-08:00

Last night I slept in a monastery on top of a mountain.

Curious? Read on.

Rob and Leah have their birthdays on consecutive days, so to celebrate, a group of about 10 of us decided to walk up to the top of the tallest mountain in Aix, St. Victoire, and spend the night up there in the cabin.

1. The Climb

The mountain didn't exactly LOOK that high. And apparently, it only took '1 and a half hours max' to get to the top. And you certainly couldn't see all the slippery rocks from the bottom...

Bern, the big crazy German guy, is an absolute lifesaver. Since my old backpack broke, the only option I had for carrying my blanket up the mountain was an airport bag - not for dragging, but for carrying like a suitcase. Bern took me aside and told me that it 'wasn't exactly practical to carry a suitcase up a mountain', and found me a huge backpack in his own store to use. Thank god for that; I would have probably jumped off the mountain in frustration if I had to carry that thing all the way up.

We had a problem from the start; due to the lack of clarity where the bus was going to stop, half the group went to another location to wait; the bus came to us and not to them so we ended up leaving without them. They would have to catch the bus an hour later, and climb the mountain when it got dark...

So Bern, Rob, Emily, Leah, Kalla and myself headed up the mountain. Bern, who has done the climb about 4 times, took us on a 'contraband route', which although more direct, was a lot more difficult. I was exhausted just walking on the dirt path; we hadn't even set foot on the mountain yet...

It was a truly tiring walk, even more so because I was listening to Leah complaining the whole way up :). Although she did have every right to complain, it was her birthday and she was spending it in climbing a mountain. I shared her sentiment, even if I was less vocal about it. It took us about 3.5 hours of uphill climbing before we reached the summit. Particularly annoying was the fact that there was a number of false summits on the mountain, so we kept thinking we were almost there, only to have our hopes dashed against the rocks. Furthermore, it was a very rough track; lots of massive rocks which we had to climb on and jump over. The only thing indicating that civilisation had come here was the fact that an occasional blue line was marked on a rock, showing the 'easiest' path.

However on the way up, there was a gorgeous view. We could see the Alps in the distance in one direction, Marseille in the distance in another direction. It was a cloudless day, and we could see nearly all of Provence.

2. The Monastery

We reached the top totally exhausted, but proud to have finally done it. The Monastery looked like something from the 15th Century, indeed it was, except it had been rebuilt by a team of volunteers. There was a chapel, a large pit, a random lodge attached to the chapel, and a large shelter. The shelter was virtually empty, except for a pile of wood, some benches and a fireplace. The fireplace had a strange design at the back, a stone tablet with medieval engravings on it. Looked like some sort of royal seal.

Everyone had brought up a surplus of food, so we began eating right away and trying to light the fire. Of those two skills, eating is the only one I have actually mastered, so I concentrated on that job while the others lit the fire.

The plan was to cook things over the fire - there was some meat brought up, as well as potatoes and foil.

Le debut d'un manifesto (The Beginnings of a Manifesto)

2006-03-14T07:34:00.000-08:00

1. Political Troubles in Aix-en-Provence

There has been increased political trouble recently here in Aix-en-Provence. The government is introducing a bill call the CPE; because workers are so highly protected in France, French businesses are reluctant to take on new employees, especially when they are young, because it is hard to get rid of them later. This bill means that first-time workers can be fired without reason within 2 years of getting the job. All the students in Aix went on strike today, and the doors of every school was blockaded by protestors, meaning nobody could get in. All the schools except mine, that is.

It is interesting for a couple of reasons. First, it is an example of globalisation in action. Quasi-socialist France is trying to soften itself up so the captains of industry don't flee to other countries...and naturally, people are very resistant. As said, I am studying globalisation and government deregulation now, so it gives it a nice 'real-world' feeling which is often rare in academic work.

Second, it's interesting because the students here are a lot more passionate about political causes than Australia. Most people in Aus. really don't seem to care about anything, by comparison. I have heard that John Howard is looking into making voting voluntary - doing so would secure liberal victories forever, because I really doubt whether anyone except the right-wing extremists would bother to vote. In fact, I think John Howard is the result of what we might call 'a dictatorship by apathy'. People don't really care what he does, so he pretty much gets away with anything.

2. A manifesto?

I have been thinking a lot recently about what I would want to achieve as MCP of AIESEC Australia...below are my thoughts. Feedback would be appreciated; this is only preliminary after all. The running theme of my ideas is LC independance - right now they are far too dependant on the MC, but I believe alot of the changes below will make them much stronger units on their own. It is a very, very HR focused manifesto, because I see our people management systems as the biggest stumbling block faced by the country right now. All the strong AIESEC countries have one thing in common - exceptional people management systems, and it is time that we got it going.

- Perfection of recruitment, induction and selection systems. I say perfection because the ones that have recently been released are pretty awesome and hit most of the basics; it is now just a case of fine-tuning each year with any feedback, and also a matter of ensuring its nation-wide implementation. People who know me know that I will continue to emphasise increased on-campus awareness, and will not stop until there is some mechanism which ensures that EVERY PERSON WHO ENTERS AN AUSTRALIAN UNIVERSITY WHICH HAS AN LC knows a large amount about AIESEC, because that is the only way we can 1) become first choice for activating leadership and 2) attract and retain top talent.

- Pushing Culture of Excellence further by creation of HR tracking framework, and training on how to utilise it. This has been absent for a LONG time. The LCs really need to know how they can keep track of their members effectively - this will bring an end to random floaters, by ensuring they 1) have a role description and 2) are fulfilling it.

- Training PD Directors/LCPs on conducting skills gap analyses and organising useful training for members, as a supplement to the above point.

- Beefing up other PD systems:
* 'LCM use' guide released, including sessions to be run during the year (not EVERY LCM, but a lot of them) to supplement conferences
* Release of an official R&R system to be used by LCs nationwide

- AIESEC XP implemention: want to focus on 'enforcement' of the XP passport which I know Mel will release this year. Members may not go to the next stage unless they have satisfactorily passed the previous one - this is especially important for exchange. Essentially, proof will be needed that SNs have 'taken responsibility' before they can go on the system.

- LC Structural Change: Want to see the creation of a new 'ideal' MDP to guide LCs, which would contain changes such as the following:
* Creation of new positions like PR and IS
* Abolition of OGX and integration of its functions into an HR portfolio, or another better solution to structurally enforce XP implementation
* Separation of PD and HR - the former does 'people development' in terms of education and learning, the latter manage inflows and outflows of the LC (including OGX)
* LC independence through a purely strategic EB
* Utilisation of LC Skopje structure for PBoX Management ( a matrix structure)

- Learning
* Stronger focus on 'tough' events, i.e. events which shock people and hit them emotionally by showing them the ugly side of the world, not simply having speakers come and talk at them
* Ressurection of the Learning Disc as part of PLP development
* Use of Global People guide in PLP development

- Continual PBoX implementation
* Training on PBoX development management for 1) OCs and 2) EBs (depending on their respective role)
* putting official criteria in the compendium for what is needed to start a PBoX
* international LN partnership development

- Continued VP empowerment
* VPs increasingly responsible for national strategies
* VPs to be running sessions at national conferences
* Possibility of making VPs full-time, and cutting number of LCDs in Sydney: an option to be seriously looked into, because the more people 'on the ground', the better

- SnA overhall
* More time spent with VPs/LCPs than with EB/members - empowerment of the former to assist the latter, rather than random time spread everywhere
* Look into necessity of having SnAs at all, scrap them if they are not useful
* Look into other methods of using SnA - miniature conferences, paying for VPs to come to Sydney for collective training, etc.

- Quality push: lots of conference sessions to be dedicated to educating on basic processes of exchange servicing for interns AND organisations. Also, much stronger focus on quality and measurement tracking from the MCP, and introduction of an exchange servicing award at conference.

- International Benchmarking. A nice way of saying 'competition' - we should choose a couple of countries that are performing a little better than us and are not overly different in socio-economic reality, and strive to beat their results.

- Regional Structure Review:
* Steering team to look into alternatives to current regional structures, and make recommendations on better structures
* Support for the creation of Regional Support Teams, including role description creation and coaching for VPs

- National Conference Sponsorship: Get the BDMs to find an organisation to sponsor a year's worth of conferences (what is called a 'conference sponsorship partner')

- BDMs: I would prefer to see them doing more sponsorship than they are currently doing - obviously do exchange, but focus a bit more on sponsorship.

- MC/NST Structure. I will keep Ralph's MC structure, with the only difference being changing the name 'VP PD' to 'VP People Systems'. This is to send a clear signal to the LCs that the MC structure suits the MC, and is not to be imitated on an LC level because it doesn't work.

VP X: Exchange-related admin work (insight, forms, etc.), measurement tracking
VP People Systems: All strategic development relating to HR systems and PD systems
VP LN: All strategic development relating to PBoXes and LNs
VP Fin: MC Finances, Legal Responsible
2 BDMs: Raising sponsorship and exchange to support MC Finances

The reason why I am not changing the structure is because I see next year as the year of 'empowerment' of non-MC bodies, and to shift the structure now would be premature. I have mentioned massive VP empowerment, however MC members will still need to be responsible for regions to facilitate the process of VP empowerment. I would hope the year after, the MCP could REALLY become the team leader for the VPs, and we could eliminate the confusing regional responsible link.

The other body I want to see MASSIVELY 'empowered' is the NST. They should be the complete source of all processes training in the country on a national level. This indicates a sharp divide between the strategic/administrative role of the MC on the one hand, and a coaching role on the other. While my goal would be to 'outsource' all LnM type coaching initially to the VPs and eventually to the EBs, the other type of coaching, basic portfolio skills training, should be 'outsourced' entirely to the NST. The ideal MC team would only have strategic and administrative roles, but no coaching role whatsoever (with the exception of the MCP).

Basically the 'help-line' for EB or members to call if they have a problem, also running entire skills tracks at national conferences (including NLT conferences), or writing the sessions to be delivered at state conferences. Initially the MC will need to help out the NST with skills track delivery, but eventually they would drop this role as the knowledge for session delivery becomes centred within the NST. The MC's contribution to conferences will be data analysis stuff, global developments, new strategies. They would only intervene in running skills sessions if there is something particularly new to teach, and the NST is not ready to deliver a session on that skill.

I realise that has been the goal of the NST up until now...it hasn't really worked I feel. The solution for me is making the position an exclusive one, i.e. NST members may not hold any other position at the same time. Given that it is about portfolio processes, the positions would be portfolio-based: ICX, HR, PD, Finance. The NST would expand its size and role over time, as new portfolios come into existence through our new MDP.

That's all for now, but of course, there will be more to come...

Beaucoup d'amusement (Lots of fun)

2006-03-11T06:34:00.000-08:00

1. The Fair

I had a blast last night. Myself, Stef, Sophie (two UNSW people) , Abbey, Beth, Sebastian (3 UK people), Daria (an NZ person) and Martina (a Parisian) went to a random fairground at 9pm. It was particularly random because it only opened at 9pm, and even more random because it was next a giant cemetery. I don't know many fairgrounds that only open at 9pm and are situated next to cemeteries, but anyway...

I went on two rides when I was there; the first called 'The Boomerang' which was kind of like the Pirate Ship, but didn't have the same fixed axis like that ride. This one swung around much more violently and seemed to have a 3-Dimensional rotation axis, meaning it was a lot more fun. It didn't go upside down unfortunately, but it did swing to nearly 90 degrees off the ground, and we did feel those wonderful moments of weightlessness which make the whole experience worth it.

The second ride I went on was called 'Shaker Dance' or something silly like that, but it was by far the most terrifying, thrilling ride I have ever been on. It didn't look like much from the outside - it's not very big, was on only a slight slant, and had about 5 octopus like things on it. The octopus things had a metallic column in the centre, and emanating from this centre were 4 support beams, and at the end of each of these support beams was a cage where two people could sit. I thought the floor would rotate quickly and that would be the ride, but I was very wrong. Not only did the floor rotate extremely quickly, but the central column of each octopus spun us in the opposite direction to the floor spin at an even faster rate. Further, the support beams went up and down, and to top it all off, the cages spun 180 degrees at exceptionally fast rates. Basically, it was like entering a washing machine. While we were strapped in quite securely, our heads were not, and with all the twisting and turning my head was continually slammed from side to side and I thought my ears were going to bleed. There were wonderful moments in the ride when it felt like we were being hurled directly at the floor ( in fact we were, but it was our harnesses which stopped us from smashing our faces into the floor), and most of the ride was a giant blur because of the high speeds of everything turning.

As comparison, I have been on Lethal Weapon at Movie World, which is said to be one of the most frightening in the country - imagine going on a ski lift, upside down, at a massive height, at 100 km/h. That was nothing compared to the ride I went on in this random little French fair. Cheers to it being small and amazing.

2. Confidence

I seem to have rediscovered my confidence, having lost it in my last post. I know my contribution should be measured in drive, not particular ideas. I think I am starting to feel at home here in Aix. Another reason for this surge in confidence comes from the two courses I am taking in English right now on Globalisation - I am concentrating harder than I have ever concentrated, by virtue of the fact that it is in my native language. Absence makes the heart grow fonder - a cliché, but definitely a valid one.

The professors of these courses are interesting people, but one in particular, Professor John Rapley, deserves a bit of a description. A very confident, charismatic lecturer - born in Canada (and with a Canadian accent) but now lives in Jamaica. He reminds me of a history teacher I had in high school, Dr Gaunson - the whole lecture is basically a string of very interesting anecdotes. For example, he once told us about how he met with a local drug baron in Kingston, Jamaica, and the drug baron was complaining about IMF structural adjustment because now the government was too weak to give him financial support to do their dirty work. Extraordinary.

I have learnt a lot about Globalisation recently, and my opinion for now is that I am a fan of state intervention - particularly for poorer states. It is interesting to note that all the big winners in globalisation have been states who started off highly interventionist - the USA, Western Europe, India, China, Taiwan, Singapore...Etc. Countries that have done well out of globalisation but got massively knocked by financial crises are ones like South Korea, whose liberalisation was slower than is preached by the neoliberal crazies, but still haphazard and without proper controls. Countries that have done the worst out of globalisation are those that were not interventionist until they reached a reasonable level of wealth - Russia, African countries, many Latin American countries, etc. Mr Keynes had it right. And all this stuff about scaring away foreign companies by high barriers - well if you are trying to develop local industries, isn't that the point? Let the electronic herd go elsewhere.

Inutile? (Useless?)

2006-03-07T07:53:00.000-08:00

(For non-AIESEC people who are not interested, don't bother reading this particular posr, it's all about AIESEC)

All of a sudden I feel rather useless.

Let me explain.

For the last 3 years in the organisation I have spent a lot of time thinking about how it runs, and come up with some very specific ideas on how it should be improved. I was never any good at making them a reality, because that's who I was, but they were very good ideas. Some of it was new, but most of it was a mix of international ideas, heavily pushed in Australia.

Now, all of a sudden, all these ideas have come true. PBoXes, mass marketing during recruitment, issues-based induction, Indian-style selection, etc. are ideas that have seized the Member Committee Mindset. I don't know if I had any role in this, you would have to look into the physical laws of causation to determine this, but all of a sudden it has left me feeling very USELESS.

The organisation now needs people who are going to drive these changes and make them a reality. That is not me, or at least that's how I've stereotyped myself. I can provide unlimited new ideas, but is that even needed anymore? I feel that once AIESEC Australia finishes this internal change process it has embarked upon, it will be near-perfect internally - from then on, it is merely a question of growth and activity. No massive ideas revolutions needed, especially on internal practices (which is my area of speciality).

I certainly don't feel a need to run for MCP anymore, and I am even questioning whether I should run for the MC. The organisation has certainly taken a step for the better, and perhaps I am part of the old, unselected generation, and should be left in the past accordingly.

Moving over to nomadlife.org

2006-02-28T03:44:00.000-08:00

You can find my new blog at http://vinay.nomadlife.org

Peur et Courage (Fear and Courage)

2006-02-26T15:28:00.000-08:00

The last 24 hours have been most interesting - not because of any events, just following my train of thought.

My committment to run for MCP has caused two reactions in me - one of extreme fear (thoughts of dying cause me no fear - it is fear of failure which seems to be my greatest fear), and the other of courage.

When occupied by fear, my mental voice says 'What the hell are you doing, committing to something you are not ready for? What if you win and you screw it all up? There are people better than you for the task. You're a dishonest jerk, how dare you commit to something like that when you know you can't do it. You're not only deceiving yourself, but deceiving the country.'

But then the other voice says, 'Well, no you've committed to this direction, there's no backing out, you may as well make yourself ready for it.' And it has already begun to push me in the right direction...while I am generally a person of self-analysis, I have never been one to quickly act on that self-analysis. Not only have I specified exactly what is holding me back, but I have started doing something about it...

I now know that I have certain fears which prevent me from achieving extraordinary things...they are listed below:
- Fear of physical exercise
- Fear of academic work
- Fear of planning and effective time management
- Fear of action/failure

AIESEC talk might call some of these things 'skills' or even 'competencies' (yes, I hate that word too), but I know these are areas that I have deeply rooted fears. I know how to do all of the things above, but yet I do not, making excuses not to do them. Why?

- Fear of physical exercise. I'm not lazy at all - I walk to university every day here, and that is a good 30 minute walk each way. The reason for that is that my stinginess in catching the bus easily outweighs any factors against it. As a consequence of this walking, and of eating very healthily, I am much fitter than I was when I left Sydney.

But I know I want to be a lot fitter still, through things like back stretches, situps, pushups, morning cycle rides, etc., but I can't bring myself to do this 'unnecessary' exercise (i.e. exercise for the sake of exercise, not for other objectives like getting to and from uni). Why? I have a fear that I won't keep it going; that I'll start and stop a day or two later. Why? I used to be very unfit when I was younger, and this has lead to a form of subconscious insecurity about my physical condition.

How to defeat this? Commands to action which override habit and fear (coming from the urgency of running for MCP in 10 months), and more importantly, continually imagining myself exercising a lot. The latter action will rewrite the recurring thoughts in my brain to something more positive than what's currently there.

- Fear of academic work. This is one of the most bizarre fears I have, yet one of the most easily explainable. It is bizarre because I used to be a very dedicated student. I would not think twice, or even once for that matter, before studying like crazy for an examination or test. This was before the days when I questioned the direction I was taking in life - my parents and my schools had drilled a mammoth academic work ethic into my brain, and it just seemed to be the way to go, no questions asked. Then in the final years of high school, I began to ask those questions...I began to question whether this kind of pure academia was the way to go. Without resolutions to these questions, doing academic work became increasingly difficult, but at the same time and pushing me the other way was the increasing proximity of the HSC (the final high school examinations in Year 12 in NSW). By Year 12 I was in no position to do any kind of academic work, yet I had no choice but to succeed beyond any successes I had in the past. I bowed to the pressure, and worked EXCEPTIONALLY hard...ripping my brain in half in the process. To give an often-cited example of my Year 12 work ethic, the 3 unit history project where we were required to study a number of sources on a particular historical subject. The most ambitious people would use 12-15 sources...I lost my mind and used 90.

I did well enough in Year 12, but since then my brain revulses when it comes to anything academic. This isn't healthy when you're studying law. AIESEC's massive practicality and use of mindless jargon confused me even further - is the 'practical way' the way to go? These questions, along with all other questions, continued to pile up without resolution. It's only in the last two months, since coming to France, that I've begun to find the answers I'm looking for.

How to defeat this fear? The same way as the fear above. I know that I will not be an effective MCP if I have this fear lingering in the back of my mind, even if I am not directly applying myself to academic work during the term. Being an effective leader requires a complete absence of fear - it is just something which cannot exist in our minds in any shape or form. So this urgency is pushing me to defeat this fear. I am using my imagination - imagining myself once again as the hardworking student I used to be, who loves knowledge, mind maps and deep thinking - to rewire my subconscious.

- Fear of planning/effective time management. This comes from ingrained habit...since I only ever had one true obsession in the past, academic work, time management simply was not a necessity. Time management becomes necessary when you have more than one thing which you are working on...which is most definitely the case now.

The solution is once again the same two as before. I guess a pattern is starting to emerge, yes? But without creating the urgency in my mind, change would be close to impossible.

- Fear of action/failure. Obviously part of my fear of action comes from a fear of failure, but a much stronger reason is my self-stereotype as a 'thinker', because of the fact that I used to be so academic. This has lead me to believe that not taking action is ok, because that is not my role. Rubbish. If I want to be an effective leader, action comes first on the list...time for a mental rewiring.

How do I know that it is possible to change our thinking? Because it has been done before by many great people...M.K. Gandhi was once a very shy man, believe it or not.

Also, because the human brain is essentially infinite, and to pessimistically impose limits on it is to be guilty of extreme ignorance. One neuron (brain cell) is capable of producing 2 possible states - 'on' or 'off', depending if there is a current flowing through it or not respectively. Two neurons are capable of producing 4 possible states based on the combinations 'on, on', 'on, off', 'off, on' and 'off, off'. The adult human brain has between 20 billion and 50 billion neurons. The number of possible states that exist is more than there are subatomic particles in the entire universe. In other words, unless we begin to find other universes, start living for 1000s of years and remember EVERYTHING that we have ever done, seen or read, then our minds are totally infinite.

La confirmation (The confirmation)

2006-02-25T13:34:00.000-08:00

I know this is unusual, for me to post two days in a row, but I have come to a decision.

I will be running for MCP (Member Committee President) of AIESEC Australia at January National Conference 2007.

Am I ready? God no. That is why I've made the decision, and made it public, so backing out is that much harder now. I have now grounded it into reality that this is what I will be doing, and now am forced to spend the year ahead getting myself ready. I have no choice but to seek peace of mind, I have no choice but to negotiate with the university to permit me to defer and I have no choice but to make sure AIESEC in Aix-en-Provence is spectacular.

Even if I am not elected, I can see spectacular advantages in forcing myself to be ready to be an MCP - I have no choice but to succeed in my endeavours this year.

I really, really hope that we don't get into that terrible situation where only one candidate (me) is running. Even though there is a confidencing process, I have never heard of someone being non-confidenced. I would want to win the position because people have faith in me to do the job, not because I am the only candidate running.

And so the year REALLY begins, in earnest...

Tous les choses 'intellectuels' (All things 'intellectual')

2006-02-24T11:05:00.000-08:00

1. Reading books again!

I've got back into the habit of reading fiction, which is something I used to do a lot of as a child. I had forgotten how relaxing and enjoyable a habit it is, and I definitely intend to do more in future. Both books were leant to me by Rob, unfortunately he doesn't have any more books but that's what libraries are for. I've found a place called 'Book in Bar', which has British flags painted all over it, whic is kind of like a little café with lots of books in English. Even though you can buy the books, they are more than happy for you to sit at their little café and read. Fun for the visitor, but I'm not sure if it is the most economically viable bookstore around.

The first book I read was The Da Vinci Code. Yes, I know, nothing new...but if something drops a landmine in Western culture like this book did, it's important to read. And it certainly was a good read too. What they say about it being a 'pageturner' was true, because despite its length, I finished it within the space of one day. The plot was great, and the code-cracking was fun, and I adored the little factoids strewn throughout the book. The only problems I had with the book was that the main characters didn't seem to have any personality (except the psychotic priest, who was entertaining), and it wasn't clear how much was true and how much wasn't true. Dan Brown had said he wanted to create an 'authentic environment' and had painstakingly researched the details of the history and of the artworks. The problem is, the 'interpretation' of history seems so damn convincing - which part has been made up, and which was part of the 'authentic environment'? But yes, I definitely recommend the book to anyone who hasn't read it, but I'm probably the last person in the West who is yet to read it. Sigh.

The second book I read is one called 'Merde Actually' - Merde is the French word for 'crap' (when translated politely). It is the sequel to a rather controversially named book called 'A Year in the Merde', which is about an Englishmen's year in France! While not having read the original, this book made perfect sense, and was a very light, fun read. The core of the book is an Englishmen's point of view on France - he seems to have hit the foreigner's perspective beautifully, because there was so much here I know I could recognise with. Everything from the insanity of French bureaucracy to infuriating indifference to bad customer service.

In fact mention of bad customer service invites a story. It is not fair for me to say that customer service has been consistently bad in France - it has only been bad once, and by one person, but it happened in the place I least expected - a major bank. I remember a lady at the bank asking me to wait while she licked envelopes for about 5 minutes and I stood there feeling like an idiot. The same lady did this to me again another day. What ever happened to the idea that 'le client est roi' (the client is king)? It could just be that I was very unlucky, but its presence in the book as well is quite worrying. I will wait till the year is out before I make a final comment on this.

2. 'The stuff that imperialists are made of! '

It's time for me to reveal an addiction of mine...to a substance...always drunk with milk. It is called 'Banania', and is extremely popular here in France. On the cover, there is a cartoon picture of an African man; apparently because this drink was popular during colonial times. I thought this was a bit tasteless and offensive, and have been calling it 'the stuff that imperialists are made of', which is probably an equally tasteless and offensive remark.

I have been almost living off this stuff. Every day, I drink about 2 glasses - so mum, that's 2 cups of milk a day. She must be overjoyed to read this, because she kept trying to get me to drink milk - one cup every few days seemed to be the most she could achieve. Well now you know mum, it's all about letting people find out how to do things their own way, not forcing them to do it. And Banania is my way. I am probably going to bring back like 8 one kg packets when I return to Australia.

3. The presentation

Today, I had to make a presentation in French...was quite a bizarre, stressful yet informative experience. The class was 'Environment and Society', and I had chosen to make my presentation on Corporate Social Responsibility and its role in Environmental Sustainability. The process of delivering this presentation is something I will always remember, because so much of what is 'France for the foreigner' just shone through the experience. Obviously it wouldn't be my blog if I didn't relate the story to you :). Also please note that I am completely aware of how hypocritical the following rant is going to seem for someone who openly preaches peace of mind.

I had chosen to put a lot of effort into my presentation for two reasons...first, I knew that my French would be filled with grammatical errors, so I would have to offset it with really solid content, and a really pretty powerpoint, to make up for it...second, because I was totally horrified by the standard of most of the presentations, and decided to change what was the 'status quo'. Let me explain the last point...it is extremely normal here, in the course of making a presentation, to simply go and sit at the front and read out an essay. The 'interaction' with the audience is limited to the question time at the end...however the audience will have fallen asleep long ago, so any questions they ask will have no relation to what has been said. I believe this atrocious method of presenting is modeled on the lecturers themselves, who basically read at us for 2 hours straight. Surely reading at us for 10 minutes is FAR more interactive than doing it for 2 hours? I was not prepared to accept such a minimalist position, and went whole hog with the 'interactivity' of the presentation.

I was lucky to get a computer for the presentation, so nicely lent to me by Kalla, one of the fellow IEP students at Cuques (he is from Finland, and spent a year in the Finnish army). Getting a projector was much more difficult. I asked the technical guy a few days ago if I could reserve the projector, to which he said 'It's totally unnecessary, nobody uses it, its always here.' this morning when I went to get it...lo and behold, it wasn' there! Luckily, my presentation wasn't for a few hours, and when I came back, it had come back. The guy said he would set it up for me in the room, which was nice of him...when I came at the appointed time for him to set it up, I saw him leaving the room of the class where I was to make the presentation; he mumbled something incomprehensible to me in French and disappeared. I walked around hunting for the projector but to no avail. So instead of starting with presentation, I grabbed a French speaking student and got her to help me understand what the projector situation was. Apparently, the guy had decided it "wasn't practical" to setup the projector in the room, and left. So what was I supposed to do, just fend for myself projectorless? His sheer indifference was the thing which annoyed me the most. When my friend said that we try anyway, he seemed extremely reluctant to let us try, and after a few minutes of persuasion, he let us have the projector. When we did try, there was nothing impractical about it at all...there was a plug at the very front of the room, perfect for the projector. Utterly infuriating.

I delivered the presentation with as much gusto as I could, and it seemed to be going fine until I had a slide which said 'What does the term Corporate Social Responsibility mean? I want to hear your opinions...if you don't know, take a guess.' They stared at me as if I had slapped them on the face with a dead fish. Apparently they weren't used to speakers asking them questions, or having opinions of their own. 'I don't know' is not a possible response to 'Take a guess'. Even good old professor Michel Duquette was a bit stunned, asking me if I had definitions of my own - the clear implication was that I was trying to get input from the audience as a means of covering up my lack of knowledge. Just as i thought my good intentions in involving this deadpan audience were about to collapse, Rob came to my rescue. Or more to the point, I made him come to my rescue. I singled him out and asked his opinion, and said he had to have an opinion because we had spoken about this subject before. I actually don't think we had, but it worked. He came up with quite a solid response. And then came another response from someone else. That was enough, and I clicked the next slide to show Monsieur Duquette just how many definitions of CSR I had - 3, in fact.

Just another note: I was quite disappointed that nobody in the class had heard of CSR before. This is the most universally discussed subject in the business world, and while I was not talking to business students, the societal implications of CSR are profound, and has the potential to completely transform Western society. In my not so humble opinion, political science students should have a broad knowledge of all major societal trends rather than specific knowledge in particular areas. Especially in what is one of the best universities in France (the IEP chain - there are a couple of them in different cities in France - are exceptionally difficult to get into for French students, making the calibre of the students apparently very high). Another thought ventured into my mind...why do I know about CSR? I realised it was purely because of AIESEC, and that was in fact the only way I knew anything about businesses at all. I realised that if it was not for my involvement in the organisation, I would have been trapped in a little academic Sydney Grammar-like cocoon, like so many of the students in that class (not the internationals, god bless them) - in fact in many of the local students, I saw precisely who I used to be. Thank goodness I am now learning how to make use of my knowledge for something useful, rather than seeing knowledge as an end in itself.

Back to the presentation...I nervously went on, knowing that soon I had another slide which asked for people's opinions, this time to the question, 'Why would corporations want to follow CSR?' However this time I got a response. A small one, but a response, from about 4 people. Perhaps things were starting to stir.

Then came the knockout punch for interactivity...a little game forcing people to 'gasp' think outside of the norm! (btw note I didn't use the phrase 'think outside the square', because that phrase is a cliché, and use of a cliché would be an ironic failure to practice what I often talk about [not 'practice what I preach, which is also a cliché] The game was simple - people had 30 seconds to list all the possible uses they could imagine of a mobile phone. While explaining this concept seemed to be difficult at first("is it a big mobile phone or a little one?", etc.), people seemed to get the hang of it. They listed some very conventional uses - calling, music, photos, diary, calculator. With this in mind, they then had 30 seconds to think of all the possible uses of a mobile phone FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF AN ANT. Some people gave up immediately at the prospect of this intellectual challenge...I heard the "I don't know"s coming from all over the place. But then something amazing happened. "For hiding in" someone said; "to block the colony entrance from intruders" said another. Then more and more totally whacked out, absolutely creative responses started coming...I nearly wept with joy.

The point of the game was to demonstrate a point about infinite creativity - two totally random ideas, when thrown together, can produce amazing new ideas themselves. Likewise, when the principle of environmentally responsible thinking is applied to existing products and processes, it does not necessarily lead to a cost: it can lead to creativity of the highest level, and the creation of amazing new processes and products. I feel like the point was made...

I also learnt something. My initial optimism in hoping to 'change' things was naive in so far that I did not understand how to do it. But it was not naive in wanting to change things. In that sense, all optimism is partially naive, because it is about hope for a world which does not exist yet, and we can never be sure about how to get there. But we have to want to change first, because that is the initial step required to push us along and help us make the necessary mistakes in learning.
I also learnt that anyone can think creatively, even if you've been institutionalised into letting others do the thinking for you. I always believed that anyone could think creatively, but I never knew how easy it would be to get people doing it, especially when they aren't used to it. Fundamentally, it comes down to the environment people are in. I think my prejudices are starting to slip, which can only be a good thing. That's the funny thing...being an Indian growing up in Australia I thought I was naturally free of prejudice...but now I've realised that cultural understanding is an active process of trying to comprehend another frame of mind, not simply an absence of dislike for another culture.

BTW the presentation was still not over, the worst was yet to come. It was in fact in my fault; I threw in something quite abstract from leadership theory, and invited even more abstract questions in response. I spoke about Abram Maslow's 'hierarchy of needs', which states that people have a very clear hierarchy of needs, the lowest being physiological (food, water, shelter), slightly higher up being self-esteem, human company, etc., higher still being intellectual pursuits, and highest of all is a state of 'self-realisation'. The final state is the kind of self-awareness that is necessary for leadership. As if it were revenge for trying to ask people's opinions before, one individual asked me the rather painful question, "Self-realisation is a very individualistic, Western concept. How could it possibly work in non-western cultures?" It was not a difficult question, but it was painful because of the language level needed to respond to it. Everyone knew how bad my French was; I had warned them at the start - either the question asker was being grossly insensitive, or really had it in for me. After asking for the question to be repeated 3 times, I sputtered out some answer about how ideas of self-realisation actually originated in Hinduism and Buddhism, and that in any culture (including less individualistic ones), the influence of the leader's personality is recognised. They seemed to be satisfied with the answer, so either I said it correctly in French, or said something else altogether which happened to be a satisfactory answer.

The same person grilled me later in the question time - this seems to be the form of interactivity that the local students relish the most. I managed to stagger my way through some kind of response, but it was certainly quite stressful.

4. All things AIESEC

Another round of congratulations are in order...first to the newly elected President of AIESEC International, Edyson Dos Santos from Venezuala. He has been in the organisation for 12 years, and is something of a legend in the organisation. There is a photo of him after the election announcement, in which a bucket of water was poured on his head...he was wearing some kind of green tunic, and in the photo, with his arms raised, he looks like some kind of freaky religious cult leader. Whoops.

Second, to the new French Member Committee (starting around July I think) - Meto, Audrey, Martina and David. They are missing a finance director - I am trying to persuade Olivia from Marseille to run for the position. This time looks particularly strong - most of them are French and they all speak French (except Martina, who has started a course in French and has a couple of months to learn it). This I've realised is very important in France - talented people from the local level should be elevated to the national level, so the national level clearly understands the local reality. Also, LC-MC Communication seems to be a big issue here in France, and speaking the same language can only help.

I myself have been considering my future in the organisation...I definitely will be going further, but there are some clouds over the next steps. I should make it clear that I have actively been considering running for National President of AIESEC in Australia, and if I don't run for that, at very least run for the National Branch of AIESEC Australia. Whether I make the decision to run for National President is based on the following factors:

- University. I don't know if I can defer immediately on return from an exchange, because there is meant to be a sort of 'reintegration course' to take place in the first semester after you get back. This may even prevent me from running for the National Branch, which means I'll be content to run for a position on a local level while continuing at uni, or maybe even try something outside of AIESEC (although that is unlikely, given that getting to a leadership position in other credible organisations aimed at the same age group will take more than a year). The positions on a local level to consider are State Manager of AIESEC NSW, National Support Team Chair and of course Local Committee President at UNSW. At any rate, I'll truly be an old fart.

- Success of Local Committee Aix-en-Provence. If I am only partially successful with Aix-en-Provence local branch, then I couldn't consider myself ready for the role. I need to setup something really amazing.

- Vision for the national branch team. I have a very clear idea of what the priorities for the next team are in terms of improving the country, but I don't have a lot of GOOD experience as a team leader...this is an area I need to study and imagine over the next year, and then assess whether I am ready.

- Peace of mind. I know what it's like to have this kind of internal serenity - character traits like courage, determination, decisiveness, vision, etc. all flow from this state of mind. However unless this becomes something permanent for me, rather than something fleeting, I would not feel honest in running for the position. A profound sense of calm is what is needed to learn new things, throw off fear, and analyse situations with a clear mind...without this calm, I would do a terrible job, because I would be fearful of the challenges that await. With this calm, I could achieve amazing things.

So now you all now my ambitions...I will keep an honest account of how my progress in changing certain elements of my character to be more 'national president like' on this blog. Know that I am not afraid to run and lose - such an experience would teach me a lot anyway, and I am more than happy to serve as a member of the national branch. My fear is of running and winning, but not having the appropriate character for the job. The reason for this fear is because it has happened before, when I was elected Local President of AIESEC UNSW. I was not ready, and the branch now sees the terrible consequences. I have certainly learned an exceptional amount from that experience, but what if I'm not ready again?

What makes me believe that readiness is a state of mind rather than a stage in our lives is the story of one of the people I most admire in history - Joan of Arc. We all know the story - a 15 year old peasant girl with a very ordinary life claimed to have received visions from God that she was to liberate France and restore the rightful king to the throne. And amazingly, she did - certainly not through any experience, but purely by force of will and inspiring thousands of people to fight to the death for her. What she seems to have had was a vision so overpoweringly strong that it gave her access to some kind of 'creative inner voice' for leadership. And this is why I believe that any human being, if they can make their visions the overpowering obsessions of their lives, can achieve utterly extraordinary things. 'All we have to fear is fear itself' rightly says FD Roosevelt - but how do we deal with fear itself? That answer to that question is what can make our dreams a reality.

La Recherche (The Quest)

2006-02-22T03:58:00.000-08:00

1. A phone, at last!

After one and a half months of communicating by phone card, I finally have a téléphone française. Actually its just my Australian phone, with a French sim-card.

So next time you feel like making an international call to a mobile phone, dial 0631638647.

2. Other administrivia, nearly cleared

I finally got my 'blue card' from the bank (credit card for my french bank account), as well as a chequebook, both for free. With the chequebook, I can now write a cheque for my student health insurance, meaning I can hand in my application for a student card. And tomorrow I will receive my 'attestation bancaire', proving I have enough money for 1 year, meaning I can hand in my application for a residency card. Yes! I will be nearly at home, just one task left to do...

Get a bicycle. Now that I have a chequebook it is possible for me to write the 300 euro 'deposit cheque', which they won't actually use unless you lose the bike or destroy it. However I am still not so sure...apparently bike theft is not totally uncommon here. How effective will two bike locks be? Maybe I should buy an el cheapo bike somewhere. This is the old me, just putting off decisions that need to be made at some point...not a good habit at all.

3. Planning Day

I spent about 7 hours with Johanna doing planning yesterday for the AIESEC Aix-en-Provence local branch which we are setting up. I am very lucky to have Johanna's assistance; she is an exceptional planner, very detailed, and actually enjoys researching legal and financial requirements. Basically my exact opposite, but we seem to be working together very well. She said she is very lucky to have my assistance, because were I not here proposing crazy ideas like creating a local branch in Aix, being the only member here she was becoming quite disillusioned and was ready to quit. Now she is super gung-ho about the whole process, and is very likely to take over the Local Branch when I leave in December. So it seems we complement each other well, and the local committee will have an exceptional future.

In fact, if she had quit, it would have been one of the worst things to happen in AIESEC France. She is one of the most exceptional members they have. The story of her 'recruitment' is bizarre, considering she was never actually recruited. She read something about AIESEC on the internet, was interested, then signed up on our intranet aiesec.net under Marseilles local committee. Someone approved her without even speaking to her, and she found out on aiesec.net about the upcoming national conference in Paris. Still without having communicated with anyone, she registered for the conference, booked her train tickets, and was off to the conference in Paris! When she got there, she didn't know anyone, and gave everyone quite a shock by her incredible enthusiasm.

For all the people in AIESEC Australia or AIESEC anywhere who are reading this, these are the kind of members we want. People with personal drive, not people we need to spend 5 hours convincing that a conference is a valuable experience. How to find these people? Very simple. The only members you recruit should be those who join completely of their own volition. NO MORE STALL BEGGING - one person maybe at the stall during O-week, not approaching anyone, but letting people come to them. Our job during recruitment is MASS AWARENESS, not MASS PERSUASION. If the right people know we exist, they will come to us. That little display of initiative makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE. Yes, your recruitment numbers will drop...but the quality of your members will increase about 300 times, and the amount of effort you need to put in both induction and in running your LC will drop about 300 times.
In short: make people aware we exist, and those that like us will come to us. These are the people we want, because they have shown initiative!

The planning day went extremely well - we finished about an hour and a half earlier than expected. I am confident I will be leaving behind an extraordinary local branch filled with extraordinary people.

4. The Quest

The Quest for inner peace is not so simple as I made it out to be in my last post. It is not difficult to find it, but it is much harder to maintain. As I said, our mind is like the ocean, sometimes calm, sometimes stormy.

The great difficulty for me is letting go of my past delusions. Delusions causing self-dislike, delusions causing a lack of self-esteem...these are well-grounded in my mind, and I know I need to spend a good deal of meditative effort in removing these delusions from my mind.

For a state of mind supposed to be about complete relaxation, it certainly takes a lot of effort getting there!

Also, some people who have read my last posting see it not as a conglomeration of several religions, but straight Buddhism. It looks like that, but the truth is, all the major religions seem to be virtually identical. The beliefs are the same, as is the way of life. The only contradictions between them is that they use different names, or claim to be 'the one' to the detriment of other religions, or have their own little meaningless traditions which don't have a huge effect on how people lead their lives. Conflict between religions seems amazingly stupid as a result, because they are actually very like-minded. The reason why my philosophy of life look like Buddhism is because Buddhism uses the least number of specific names...it is possible to be a Buddhist without ever thinking much about the Buddha himself - he was just some guy who found out how to be happy, and taught people his experiences. The divinity of the human mind is central to all religions - it is just Buddhism is the only one that really calls it that, as opposed to other religions who call this state of mind 'being with God'.

Un Nouveau Monde (A New World)

2006-02-14T10:14:00.000-08:00

Before I begin, I want to first apologise to Rob. In one of my previous postings, I somewhat condescendingly painted him as something of a hippie. Most hippies know much less about economics than him, so I think that it is not the fairest image. And hippies also tend to have longer hair.

Seriously, Rob is far from a hippie. I wanted to present a sharp contrast between my stress and his calm, and upon re-reading it, it came out the wrong way.

Although he does point out to me that he did drop out from economics to become an arts students, and once had hair down to his shoulders. You be the judge.

1. AIESEC France National Conference (NATCO) 2006

Held in Ancenis, a small town about 30 minutes from the city of Angers. I was VERY VERY IMPRESSED by the conference organising committee; they had a genuine concern for the needs of every delegate, continually strove for excellence and simply DID NOT STOP MOVING. I have been to 14 conferences in AIESEC and a couple outside of it, and this was by far the best organising committee I had ever seen. Congrats to them!

The conference delegates all seemed extremely switched on in their willingness to engage in debate and discussion, however they are unaware of some of the basic facts of the organisation...MASSIVE potential here, but going completely to waste: I saw real heart and soul here, but I do not see it being used. I realise this seems contradictory to some of my earlier posts...I think meeting people clarified the situation somewhat for me, much better than some simple measurement sheets could ever do.

I also was very happy with the MC's performance at this conference. They are a very fantastic group of people. Yet I feel like there is a massive barrier between them and the members. If both the members and the Mc are great, what is holding them back? It is difficult to say. Perhaps the language barrier is a severe problem...or perhaps it is comprehension of the local reality. France poses a curious challenge for the foreigner, and the foreigner poses an even greater challenge for the French. A solution to this problem needs to be found urgently.

The three MCP candidates were extraordinary people, each of whom would have done a brilliant job. I send my congratulations to all three of them, because that was the most difficult election I have ever witnessed. The candidate who carried the day was François Fleury, who I am sure with his 'never say die' attitude will lift AIESEC France out of the quagmire it is currently in, to something resembling the organisational vision statement for 2010. He is an exceptionally charismatic and inspiring individual who simply will not stop believing, and this is precisely what is needed to drive the future.

2. Jean's resignation

I don't fully understand the reasons, but the MCP of AIESEC France, Jean Penny, resigned a few days after NatCo. From what he put in his farewell letter to the organisation, I think he felt the experiences he was gaining from AIESEC were not aligned with his direction...my apologies to Jean if this is not the reason. I wish him all the best for the future.

Resignations and departures from the organisation are something to be expected in the near future, across the planet. Many people signed up for an organisation which is changing both its face and heart. This is no longer what they want, or is no longer aligned with their future goals. In fact, the fact that nowadays, at an early stage, we ask people to define their future goals will mean that people who stay the distance in the organisation are sure of their future direction and sure that AIESEC is key to delivering that future.

3. A new world

The 'cheery' attitude of the paragraphs above does nothing to convey the difficulties I have faced recently, and the complete overhaul of perspective that I have undergone in the last few weeks.
I have been very reluctant to finish this blog posting; I don't know why, perhaps I had a feeling it would be the 'be all and end all' posting, the one which defines my basic worldview for the rest of my life.

But I've decided to finish it anyway. It would be stupid and ignorant of me to imagine my point of view will never change...even if I have a 'foundation' which doesn't change, there are layers which are always going to be added, layers which will be removed and layers which will change form.

The only absolute foundations that make sense, therefore, are a sense of values and an open mind. Even the values can be changed (albeit not easily) - it's the open mind which has to be utterly consistent.

4. The first difficulty - integrating into French culture

Living like an exchange student, speaking English or even French with other exchange students, is not integrating into another culture. As a group of internationals, we very quickly find the lowest common denominator of interculturally acceptable behaviour and interact with each other on that basis. It is a valuable experience to be sure, for we realise how much we have in common over national boundaries, even in cases where globalisation is NOT the cause, but it is ultimately limiting in nature.

(The following section in square brackets was written when I was very, very tired and in an extremely bad mood at the time - I do not agree with or endorse its content anymore, and actually think it is somewhat insulting. But this is my personal record, so I need to keep my original postings here for later reading)

[In my group of 10-12 exchange students at IEP, I sometimes feel like I am speaking to 12 clones. I do not wish to insult them at all, I myself am one of those clones - it is the consequence of people from different countries trying to find what is in common, latching on to it, and refusing to budge from it (a completely subconscious process). Perhaps the size of the group lowers the denominator even further, ruling out any eccentric and interesting behaviour, preferring instead a reasonably flat and uninteresting world of wine and discussions on random topics. The randomness of group socialising is another reason why it makes no sense to me. I can understand getting to know people you are working with - as a group we have shared objectives, we need to understand one another's thought processes on how to reach those objectives - but socialising en masse for its own sake seems like a waste of time to me.

The banality of discussion is a great shame to me, because I am sure every single person is vibrant and interesting in their own right - if you are reading this, do not take this as an insult, but an invitation to unleash some of your inner eccentricity onto the conversation! This is why I have much preferred my conversations with Bernard, Youssef, Rob and Marc-André - I know each of them more as individuals than as part of a group, and have had fantastic discussions with each of them, and gotten to understand them much better for who they are. I should probably make a greater effort to get to know the 'group members' as individuals rather than calling them 'group members'. ]

Because of the way I had been living for the last 1.5 months, as above, the National Conference proved a great test for me, because it was the first time I was required to not only live with French people for a period of time, but actually work with them too. It was like a massive extension of the steering team, and all the accompanying cultural difficulties that came with it. You have heard it all before - the pessimism, the feeling of hopelessness - but imagine it from 70 people instead of 1 or 2.

At first, pessimism is infectious. You present an idea, and it gets knocked back because you don't understand 'local reality' - after this happens about 35 times, even the strongest willed tend to lose their courage. This was particularly bad for me, because I entered with a sense of 'strategic arrogance', thinking I had all the answers to the strategic questions. Garbage. But at the time, I began to feel like it was the country that was wrong, not me.

So what did I do?

I opened my mind.

I really began to think about what I had learnt about French AIESEC Reality. I really began to understand their difficult situation, without losing sight of the organisational objectives. I began to ignore the pessimism that accompanied the rejection of ideas, and took them as neutral statements of explanation why certain ideas would not work here. And slowly, I started to come up with solutions. Different ones, not Australian ones. And best of all, I could see they were starting to get through!

My error had been associating the rejection of my ideas with a general blanket pessimism. In fact, pessimistic phrasing just seems to be the way people say things here which they know don't work...while there is still a bit of blanket pessimism, people will try ideas that make sense in terms of the local reality.

This taught me the need to COMPLETELY open my mind. I had always paid lip service to the idea of an open mind, and I always considered myself open-minded because my ideas are generally radical, but it is quite something else. It is a willingness to really consider and internalise those ideas you disagree with. Not necessarily agree with them, but really, really think about them, as opposed to immediate mental rejection, or acting like a debater and finding problems in the idea that can be criticised.

I've realised that open-mindedness is the only way we can achieve peace on earth, because some things (like monotheistic religions) simply cannot be brought together through dogmatic teaching alone - the worshippers need to be open-minded. The Dalai Lama puts it wonderfully, "Just like in a restaraunt when everyone chooses the meal that suits their tastes, everyone can choose their path to happiness according to their own tastes. How boring would the dinner be if everyone ordered the same meal?"

The Dalai Lama has much to teach the world about open-mindedness. This is one quotation from him I know I will never, ever forget, because it symbolises the ultimate open-mindedness: "If science finds something which contradicts a Buddhist belief, it is Buddhism that will need to change" - this coming from the head of the religion!!

5. The second difficulty - dealing with impermanence

Second, my cat Philip, who has lived in my house for 13 years (over half my life), recently passed away. I really did love him as one of my closest friends, and the speciest barrier that people tend to place between people and animals just did not exist in my house. He really was one of the family. There was a time when I was younger when I was truly cynical of the whole human race, and I had considered him my ONLY friend in the world.

It was particularly hard for me because I was not there in person. His illness (cancer in the liver) only became obvious after I left, and when diagnosed, apparently he did not have more than 1-2 weeks to live.

The news of his illness hit me very hard. Being a cat, I also knew that he would not live for a very long time, but my mind always jumped away from this, and never sought to deal with it. It will come when it will come, and I will deal with it then. I think that I thought he would live forever, or at least a really long time (like 20 years), because we had cared for him so well. Especially my mother, she had really devoted so much to this cat.

Jus the thought that he might die sent me into a frenzy...I spent an entire day on the internet searching for ways on how to deal with death of a loved one, which sent me of course to a considerable amount of religious material. In the past I have generally switched off at the sight of religion, but that day was different. I had to do something, because I was feeling desperate, and no atheist or agnostic was capable of giving me an answer to relieve what I was feeling.

That day was one of the most important days of my life. I read massive amounts of things from all sorts of religions, and continued to do so over the next few days...and at the same time pulled out of all of them a philosophy of life which I am going to do adhere to from now on.

Basically, it seems the cause of suffering is attachment. What does that mean? By emotionally attaching ourselves to physical things, like objects and other sentient beings, we are setting ourselves up for failure, because everything in the world has a limited life span. Instead of attaching ourselves to others, we should hold a sense of compassion/empathy towards them instead. This kind of detached compassion can naturally be extended to any sentient being, not merely to people we consider our friends and family. When we first meet another human being, empathy seems to be the way to go.

Empathy goes further than being a simple replacement for attachment. Its how we should view all human beings. The concept of 'like' and 'dislike' simply vanish - our task is to understand people and have compassion for their suffering (and all entities suffer because there is no escape from death). With this absolutely non-judgmental approach, it is possible to have an equal amount of compassion for everyone from your brother to Mahatma Gandhi to Joseph Stalin. The very idea of hatred no longer functions...there is no point hating anyone, is there? Compassion for everyone, even your worst enemy, is the only way we can have some kind of peace.

Does this absence of hatred invite weakness or giving in to people? Not at all - one needs to exercise empathy for the self as well, and it is impossible to let others take advantage of you, just as it is impossible for you to take advantage of others. Strong counter-action in the short term is a form of compassion - e.g. restraining a violent person before they do more damage.

But what does all this compassion, absence of attachment and absence of hatred add up to? PEACE. The very meaning of our lives is to seek peace of mind, to live in a perpetual state of calm and to have complete control over our minds. Freedom is freeing our minds from attachment, and freeing it from negative states of mind like anger, jealousy, hatred, etc. so we are completely free to seek peace.

But it doesn't end there. The mind is generally quite out of control, and we need to spend years bringing it to heel. Calming it one day may mean little the next - it takes practice. So we need to find and maintain peace.

But what do we do with our lives while we are finding inner peace, assuming we don't want to become clergymen (i assure you, i won't be a priest or a monk or anything like that :) )? Work towards peace amongst humanity, and peace between people and the environment.

This probably sounds a bit waffly to many people. But I can say that I have had a marked change of perspective...I am a much happier, much calmer person than I have ever been. I'm able to focus and concentrate on my goals a lot more clearly than ever before. The idea of dedicating one's life to peace is most appealing to me...I had already dedicated my life externally to this idea, but it was the mind which was lacking...such that I wasn't able to concentrate or achieve anything really. A degree of inner peace is needed before we can venture out to try and make the world a better place.

People will read this and scoff and call me idealistic, naive and stupid. But understand that I know of no other way to escape from the turbulence of daily existence, and the only way we can escape the continual barrage of difficult questions which undermine any reason at all to even be alive. In a world devoid of meaning, spiritual peace is the only answer for those who wish to remain sane.

Quelle week-end! (What a weekend!)

2006-01-31T05:50:00.000-08:00

1. Gares and Taxis

I thought I had my Friday lined up perfectly. I had planned the whole day hour by hour, perhaps even minute by minute. But I didn't count on a certain fact - there were two train stations, not one, in Aix. One for the normal local trains, another for the TGV (fast intercity trains). Good thing I arrived 45 minutes beforehand at the normal train station; unfortunately the only way I could get to the TGV station in time was by taxi...

NEVER EVER EVER TAKE A TAXI IN FRANCE. EVER. I MEAN IT.

For a 12 minute journey, it cost me 35 euros. It was more expensive than my one way train trip to Paris. I would have killed the taxi driver, were I not late for my train.

A lesson learnt...but at least I made my train.

2. Arrival in Paris

The TGV is insanely fast. It got to Paris in 3 hours...or maybe I am just used to massive distances in Australia. When I arrived in Paris there was ice covering the top half of the train...not sure if that was due to the cold, or the speed, or a combination of the two.

Anne-Laure was waiting for me at the platform; I stayed at her place that evening. She has a nice little apartment not too far out from Paris city. We spoke about random AIESEC stuff for many hours; unfortunately in English but I think I was still too stressed from only just catching the train to be able to speak in French.

3. AIESEC Culture shock

I started the day working with the AIESEC France Member Committee with a good deal of excitement; I ended the day in a state of despair and shock.

I met the French MC team, everyone except the MCP (President). I am not sure why, but he couldn't be there this weekend. Anne-Laure who I had already met was the VP Finance, Karim was the VP External Relations, Nelyenka (or Nely) their VP ICX, Daniela (or Dani) their VP PD, and Jany their VP OGX. The last three were internationals, a curious fact. Apparently at the moment AIESEC in France lacks the existing talent to produce a complete, or near complete, MC team - or at any rate, the talent never stays around long enough. Nely is from Slovakia, Dani from Germany, Jany from Romania. Everyone was extremely friendly. For the next two days, we were joined by Julie from Bordeaux (a fellow ground level member selected into the steering team), François from the NTT and an MCP candidate in the upcoming conference, and Marc, LCP of one of the Parisian LCs (ESIEA I think). I knew Marc well, as he had done a CEED in Queensland last July and had attended the National Conference.

For those of you not familiar with AIESEC, I apologise for the excessive number of acronyms in the previous paragraph. Count how many there are, and post it in the comments!!

We started off with a breakfast of fresh baguettes and jam and/or cheese...I enjoyed it as it is still something very exotic for me, but I could see for the rest it was just a cheap breakfast on an MC salary.

We started the day with a bit of a get to know you, why we joined the organisation and why we were here sort of thing...Marc seemed rather cynical actually, and was not sure wure why he was here. I thought he was going through a down phase, but it seemed to be consistent across the weekend.

There is no need to bore you with the details of everything we went through, but I must point out what happened in the measurement survey section. All the 15 LCs had been asked to fill out a survey resembling an audit, so we could do some data analysis and find out the current state of the organisation. Of the 15 LCs, only 9 filled them in, and after some number crunching, I realised the results were atrocious. Most of the LCs were doing no exchanges at all, had no members, and in general had no clue. Some LCs were spending their time and money running massive parties, whereas others existed in name only - for example, in one LC, the ENTIRE Executive Board had left the country for half a year, and only just returned. After the upcoming conference, there would be no LCs with full membership status...Bordeaux (Aurelie's LC) would be the only LC that qualified, but they were only founded recently so were yet to obtain membership status. There is some hope - Marseilles and Bordeaux seemed to be heading the right way, but with such a weight of national problems I don't know how long such hope could last.

Why had this situation come about? The problem for me lay in the MC activities. They are certainly well-intentioned, but their priorities are quite stuffed. They have been bogged down in managing the partnership with Alcatel - matching, delivering and receiving 40 trainees per year, amongst 6 people. This clearly leaves little time to assist the LCs, who are deeply in need of assistance (and who had called for it in the survey). The Parisian LCs are completely insane - one of them has a 15 person reception team, but they refuse to help receive the MC interns (even if the LCs are paid for it), instead spending their time running huge parties and welcoming exchange students (???). They are loaded with money given to them by their universities, so the excuse of bullying by the uni adminstration existed. Bullying into what the university wanted, that is.

On that note...excuses. This deeply, deeply frustrated me. I noticed this particularly in the French in the room (with the exception of Julie), and even to an extent in the internationals. Everyone seemed to be saying why things couldn't work, but nobody was keen on proposing solutions - at least at first anyway. I found myself pushing everyone in the room along to think about the organisational vision, and why all their excuses and saying 'no' would not lead to the vision. We have no choice but to hit the vision no matter what, and unless they committed to that, then we should just give up now and go home. Most people were moved into a more creative mode after this, and became more solutions focused, and we started to produce some tangible and useful output. I think the only thing separating me from them was that I had only just arrived, and I had not time to slip into this organisational depression...

I have heard that this kind of misery is an element of French culture. It is only in AIESEC I have run across it, but then again, it is the only place I have had to work with French people on non-academic work; i.e. somewhere where morale is an absolute must. At any rate, AIESEC France needs to move out of this state of misery and problems-focused thinking if they want to go anywhere.

By the end of the weekend, we had chosen a series of steps to be taken to fix up the country. Some were the 'hard line' - a kind of self-selection process to take place at the national conference and with the assistance of the MC on their LC visits. Then there was the middle line, which the strategic task force would be responsible for: we would be finding one key person in as many LCs as possible, and getting them to help us drive discussion on aiesec.net and on a local level too. This discussion would concern things like the state of AIESEC France, the global direction, how AIESEC France can be made relevant to the issues faced by the country, etc. Then there was the 'soft' line, which involves national recognition and encouragement of those LCs which are headed the right way.

We seemed to end with a kind of excitement in the air, which was energising for me. I know that the moment this country flings off its state of despair, it can achieve utterly extraordinary things. I say that because as a nation France faces massive issues in society right now, has a strong need for new leadership, and above all, has people who care. AIESEC France simply needs to look inside itself and revolutionise itself to draw in these people, and it will become extraordinary.

4. Les rues de Paris

I should describe the night activity that took place as well, as the steering team was over the weekend and I had 3 nights in Paris. The first night I just slept. The second night, I went to a trainee party at an AIESEC pub - there were 30 trainees there; incredible! Most of them were Alcatel trainees. Most incredible of all was the fact that I ran into my old friend Subash!!!! He had spent a year on the Australian MC as the Australia - India Young Leaders Program Coordinator, and was now on an internship in Alcatel Paris. It was certainly a surprise, as I expected him to be in India, and he expected me to be in Australia. We talked for many hours catching up...he seems to be having a blast here in Paris, and his French is non-existent. I am glad now that I chose Aix, because in Paris I know I would not have been able to learn French with everyone speaking English at me continually. Subash will be here for another 5 months or so, definitely will catch up with him again when I am in Paris.

I met some other fun trainees...a bizarre and hilarious guy from India called Manu, and a fun guy from Estonia called Marius.

The next night I wandered through the streets of Paris with Julie, Neli and Dani for about 4 hours. Got all the obligatory Eiffel Tower and Arc de Triomphe photos...but there seems to be much more to Paris than these two icons. Under the Arc de Triomphe is the worst traffic I have ever seen. There were simply no rules. It kind of looked like dodgem cars...and yes, there probably that many bumps. Even driving in India was nothing compared to this!!! There cars nearly doing head on collisions, side-on collisions, any kind of collision. There were no lanes, no lights, nothing...i expected better from France, but drivers in this whole country seem to be quite bad. Or worse than Sydney anyway.

I had many long conversations with the 3 of them during our long walk. Dani was particularly interesting...she has been in AIESEC for 6 years, and had considered running for AIESEC International, but finally decided against it. We traded opinions and understandings on AIESEC and the world at large, and most of all on French culture. Especially the 'desperation' element of it...it was something quite extraordinary for us to comprehend. Having been in France for 6 months she had a much stronger understanding than me, but tells me that every time she looks a little further into AIESEC France or French culture, she gets a massive surprise. I enjoyed the chats of the evening even more than walking around Paris. It was during this walk a bizarre feeling came over me...homesickness, not for Sydney, but for Aix-en-Provence! It seems Aix has truly become a home for me. I tried to cast my thoughts back to Sydney...yes I remember it well, but the attachment seems to be dying...certain rooms in my house seem to have the feeling of being long-distant memories. While I still have a long way to go before I understand French culture and even the language (which I must say I have improved in considerably), on some basic level, France has become my home.

Extrémités (Extremities)

2006-01-24T06:21:00.000-08:00

Sorry it has been 10 days since I last posted. Wait, who am I apologising to? Anyway, this blog has been a means of coping with culture shock, so since I have settled in well, I haven't felt the need to post on the blog. I will post at least once a week from now on though.

1. AIESEC France

I went to Marseilles two weekends ago to meet the AIESEC people there. They seem exceptionally motivated, mature and intelligent individuals, which makes me wonder why they were not performing. The reason seems to be their strategies, which are archaic and business-focused. They need to be more creative in their approach; it will help them considerably.

AIESEC France is currently underperforming - certainly the national ICX strategies are a problem, but I believe the membership is generally not very motivated too (Marseille seems to be a notable exception). After writing an 11 page application I was selected to the AIESEC France long-term strategy team; I'm going to recommend they really look at their membership and see if they are up to scratch. After that, they need to completely change their recruitment methods and brand awareness...bla bla bla. I won't go on, because you are probably already asleep.

One interesting thing though is that AIESEC France is paying 75% of my return trip to Paris for the meeting. Unfortunately I will be working all day there, but at nights I will definitely explore the city. Don't worry Vinita, I am sure I will have company, so I won't get set alight by a French mob hurling Molotov cocktails.

I have been charged with the responsibility of putting together a team in Aix as an adjoint to Marseilles; this seems ridiculous as with not much extra work I can setup a Local Branch here. I am going to persuade the national branch of the organisation to let me do that. I have been working hard on this recently, but not at the expense of my studies, which I am also working hard on.

2. The obligatory 'meaning of life' chat

I had a long chat with Rob the other day about the purpose we individually have attached to our lives. The contrast was interesting - he said life was too short to take seriously, and I responded by saying that life was too short to NOT take seriously. He argued that we can leave the world a better place simply by living good lives centred around the self and our local friends/community, to which I responded that the only way to truly change the world is by macro effect - i.e. by devoting our lives to positive change, and real policy change at that. Yet I looked at myself, in the midst of stress and mental decay, and then at Rob, totally calm, playing his guitar. Are devoting ourselves to a world we will never see really worth it?

There are no easy answers to these questions. But all I know is this - all human beings are gifted creatures, and they can do pretty much anything they want to. The key phrase is 'want to'. Once we've hit the basics of shelter, food and clothing, what do we want? Happiness according to 90% of people. How do we reach happiness? The Dalai Lama says through compassion. But should that compassion go so far as to destroy our own sense of wellbeing? Did people like Mandela and Gandhi get it right by sacrificing their own happiness for a cause? Or did they not actually sacrifice any happiness at all, and they in fact attained it simply by the act of sacrifice?

I have no idea.

3. Nicole departs

Nicole had warned me that she might be leaving due to the fact that the subjects available here would not let her graduate. Then one day, she was gone. She left a lot of stuff in front of Leah's door, and that was how we knew she had departed. I heard something also about how she had seen some person follow her through the street for an unusally long distance, and that she felt the accommodation was not secure. I don't know if she actually said all this, this is only hearsay.

I find it hard to believe - Aix is much more safe than Sydney, probably the safest city I have ever spent time in.

A somewhat expensive holiday, given that she would have paid for 3 months accommodation by then already!!

4. TERRORIST ATTACK???? No, just a terrorist attack.

There was an attemped terrorist attack the other day in Marseilles. Apparently some Corsican separatist tried to carry a bomb into the post office, but it exploded in his hands beforehand. I was quite surprised to hear this to say the least, but apparently terrorist acts by Corsican seperatists are quite common in the south of France. When it was mentioned in my class that there was a attempted terrorist attack in Marseille, people were shocked, until it was added that this person was a Corsican separatist, at which everyone said something like 'Oh ok that's alright then' !!!!

How bizarre...

For 10 days that's not much is it? I guess I've learnt the art of concision. :)

La Révélation (The Revelation)

2006-01-14T06:24:00.000-08:00

1. A message for AIESEC Australia

A HUGE Congratulations to Ralph Panebianco, MCP-elect of AIESEC in Australia. When it comes to any AIESEC elections I am a lot tougher than I used to be, and am much less likely to throw my support someone mindlessly than I would in the past. Having said that, and having scrutinised his platform very carefully, I have complete faith in Ralph to be an excellent national President. I think he really has got the national priorities straight. In particular, I like his committment to the 'Culture of Excellence' strategy - AIESEC is not going anywhere until we get that minimum correct. I'm glad to see it is high up in his priority list.

I wish best of luck to all the MC candidates too - it is a tough election, I think there are roughly double the number of candidates than there are positions. Even if you aren't elected this time, treat it as a learning experience and move on to the next challenge. My Local Committee collapsed just as my LCP term was about to finish - not exactly the greatest morale booster in the world! However having reflected on the year, and done my best to rectify the situation, I have learnt an unbelievable amount and am so much the stronger as a result. No more how devestating the situation is, you can always get something incredible out of it by treating it as an educational experience.

On a much lighter note, and nothing to do with anything, today I saw a street called 'Rue Craponne'. Make what you will of that.

2. Bureaucrastan

France is well and truly Bureaucrastan. Everything requires pages and pages and pages of paperwork to complete, not to mention the obligatory passport photos. When paying for my accommodation, I had to give in 3 passport photos. When getting my student card, another passport photo. When apply for a residency card, another 4 passport photos! The application for the residency card is particularly frustrating...it contains about 4 forms, most of which ask the same questions as each other. We have to supply along with the forms a whole series of documents (I believe there is about 10 or so), almost all of which we needed to use before when applying for a visa. Why do we need to send them all again, if they know they exist due to the fact that we have a visa????

Another feature of Bureaucrastan is extreme disorganisation. I have been to far too many classes where nobody, including the professors, has any idea which room we were supposed to be in for the class. We will spend the first 10-15 minutes hunting around for the correct room, and will sometimes just crash in some place that looks empty. If the other students don't know where we are, their problem.

There are also many, many occasions where the professors simply don't turn up. Apparently something else more important has grabbed their attention, like calling their mistresses, so they decide not to come into 'teach' that day. Given the way most of the lectures seem to run in FRance, they should seriously just tape it and send that in to the IEP, and hire another bureaucrat to press play and stop when necessary. To give an example of this frequency of cancellation, in one day I walked in twice to the IEP from my residence ( a good half hour walk), and BOTH TIMES the classes were cancelled. They even have a week called 'Rattrapage', where the professors run make up lessons for all the canceled classes. Tom Bowes tells me this is by far the busiest week of the year.

It is worth noting that IEP is actually run by a branch of the French government, and is thus subject to the same management style (or lack thereof) governing the French public sector.

This has been a good experience for me. I used to be a fan of big government, but seeing the shocking levels of bureaucracy in this country has convinced me beyond all doubt for the need for mass privativisation. In a bizarre twist for quasi-socialist me, I can imagine myself joining a protest by a group of economists, with bad slogans like 'Outsource everything!' and 'Efficiency, not bureaucracy!' I used to think that big government ensured protection of the little people from the big people, but that is the role of the judicial branch, not the executive (as represented by administrators and bureaucrats). Furthermore, an economy which is dominated by an inefficient publiuc sector and which drowns people in a flood of paperwork is definitely to the detriment of all, big and little alike.

3. More interesting characters along the way...

Obviously I have not been sticking completely with the 'group' I mentioned earlier; it turns out there are a lot more IEP international students at my Residence, and I have also befriended a good deal of other people at my residence who don't go to IEP. There are too many to talk about now, so I will talk about a few of them in different places throughout the blog.

Marc-André: A really tall guy from Quebec, he is possibly double my height (or close). He has a very strong Quebecois French accent, so strong in fact that when he speaks in French to the locals, they respond to him in English! I had problems understanding his French as well, but speaking to him a lot has helped me decode what he and other Quebecois are saying. Thankfully he speaks very good English too, if we are in need of clarifying anything that I don't understand. Marc-André is unintentionally extremely funny - he says things which are so utterly blunt and politically incorrect without realising it, that we can't help but burst out into laughter. Or I can't help it anyway. Marc-André also happens to the be the biggest Lord of the Rings fan I have ever met. There are bigger ones, but I am in no hurry to meet them. He's read The Hobbit 4 times, Lord of the Rings 6 times and The Silmarillion 5 times. At one point he was able to read Elvish, but he decided it was probably a better idea to pursue a living language like Spanish.

The Dutch: Jos and Adinda. Jos is a big, friendly, wine-tasting, good-cooking, intellectual sort of guy from the Netherlands. Whenever there is a social event of some sort, Jos is there. He is one of those people who, even though I don't know him REALLY well, will come to define my exchange experience by his continual presence. Jos has recently completed a minor in European Union Studies, so we often listen to him talk about the EU, which is alwys quite interesting. Adinda is fairly quiet so I don't know her too well, but she is definitely a friendly individual.

The Norwegians: Marie and Christiana. Marie is like Jos, in that she is alwys present at some sort of event, and will be one of those people who define my memories of this part of the year. An avid smoker, she says she had once quit but restarted because it was 'the French Way'. She knows how stupid a reason that is, thankfully, but that hasn't slowed down the cigarettes. She is quite a good cook, and has always shown a lot of concern for me as a vegetarian and ensured that there is food for me to eat. Definitely a very friendly, warm individual. Christiana looks like a typical Norwegian - she has blond hair, a sort of 'Scandinavian look', and of course her voice oscillates up and down when she speaks in her accented (but very good) English. Character-wise I have difficulty separating her out from Marie, but I guess I need to get to know them better.

Emelie: She lives on my floor, and is completely insane - in a good way. When someone introduced me to her and said I was Australian, she immediately said she had only met one other Australian before, and that Australian was not capable of speaking in non-swear words. Wonderful introduction. Whenever I see her, she always has something bizarre and random to say, usually accentuated by her dramatic delivery. And for some reason she is always carrying toilet paper. I don't know if I only see her when she is off to the toilet, or if she just enjoys running down the halls with rolls of toilet paper in her hand. From Tahiti, French is her native tongue but her English is not so great - we have committed to teaching each other our respective native languages. Today she taught me the word for toilet paper.

Bernard: Rob's neighbour, and possibly even more insane than Emelie. When I first met him I thought he was drunk, but he actually speaks like that all the time, or is always drunk. Of an enormous stature and with a great orange beard and hair that covers most of his face, he looks a good deal like Frederick Barbarossa. He is German, but speaks exceptionally eloquent French. The story of when I first conversed with him is an interesting - I was walking up the stairs, and he was in front of the coffee machine buying something, when he randomly asked me if I thought a 'prejudice' and a 'cliché' were the same thing - I had never even spoken to the guy before! I discussed the question with him for 30 minutes, completely in French, and we reached some sort of agreement. I could tell by his expression and seriousness that he felt very profound in asking that question and in asking it as randomly as he did, but in retrospect I think it was quite pointless. He is a litterature student, and the profound silliness of the question did nothing to improve my opinion of philosophy, especially of the student / café variety. Nonetheless he is still an interesting person, because I am able to describe him in terms other than 'friendly' and 'nice'! Perhaps 'random' is the way to go with this one.

That is all the characters for now...stay tuned for more in future blogs...

4. The Revelation

If you know me, you know that I am a super stressed-out person. I can sometimes get so stressed that I am incapacitated for 2 days at a time. This is not healthy, and naturally has been taking its toll on my health. The other day I felt my stress levels reach new highs, with the combination of culture shock and administrative nightmares and all sorts of imaginary problems. I was no longer able to think clearly. I hopped on the internet and starting searching for ways of de-stressing myself. I found some Buddhist literature on calm, and a quotation by the Dalai Lama which I will never forget as long as I live:

"If your problem has a solution, then there's no need to worry. If your problem doesn't have a solution, then there's nothing you can do, so there's no point worrying anyway."

This probably seems like simple common sense for many of you. But for someone in a state of super stress, this little quotation was like a God-send. I really thought about the phrase and what it means - it means that no matter what, we NEVER need to worry about anything! Worry is a completely useless state of mind!! This was a grand revelation for me, and its consequences have been extraordinary. Since I stopped worrying, I feel like I've woken up after years of being asleep. It's amazing. My ability to think clearly and creatively has increased enormously. My feeling of self-disclipine (e.g. doing things like daily back stretches, getting up at 6:30am, etc.) has increased exponentially too. For the first time in a long time, it really feels good to get up every morning, and to use every moment of the day to its fullest!

L'Adaptation (The Adjustment)

2006-01-09T10:47:00.000-08:00

Last few days have been a cooling off phase of sorts. I was meant to join the other international students for a trip to Marseille, but I was too exhausted and braindead from a day of concentrating on 2 and a half hour classes in French followed by a late night.

I slept pretty much half the day, then woke with up with a sudden urge to learn French grammar. It seems the good old days of high school when I had a real desire to learn have returned to me. I spent much of the rest of the weekend looking over French grammar and memorising massive conjugation tables - just like Latin and Sanskrit, all over again.

The trip to Marseille had apparently been uneventful; Rob had bought himself a secondhand guitar and was playing it Sunday - he is definitely a talented musician. The first thing he saw when he got off the bus in Marseille was a drunk woman swearing at a moving car, then spitting on it. Talk about a wonderful welcome to the city. There was a party that evening at the apartment of one of the Swedes living in Marseille; he met a mad homeless man there who spoke 10 languages. This seemed rather odd, if he spoke 10 languages one would imagine he would be able to seek stable employment and housing. It was probably the mad part of him that stopped him from doing so.

A bunch of us had lunch in Rob's room on Sunday, which he has renamed the 'Teahouse' and setup to look a bit like a caféteria. I met a cool guy there called Youssef from Madagascar who spoke fluent English and French and a lot of Spanish too. He wants to be a professional translator, and I think he'll do a good job. I was shocked to hear he was 27; he was the liveliest 27 year old I had ever met. I know 27 isn't that old, but I really thought he was like 20, 21. He was definitely much more lively than me, but for those of you who know me, that isn't exactly difficult.

I had a couple of classes today which sort of made sense, and then a horrifying class in European Law...I have to read court judgments in French!!! But its actually not that bad; they seem to write in language much more simplified than Australian judges...or less pretentious is probably the best phrase. The hard part is listening to the teacher as he is not easily comprehensible. It does not matter; I am doing plenty of side research on the structure of the EU and the nature of its legal system.

That's all for now. à bientôt!

La courbe de cloche (The Bell Curve)

2006-01-06T16:38:00.000-08:00

A number of you have asked for my mailing address, so here it is: Chambre 2228, Pavillion 2, Cité Universitaire de Cuques, Rue de Cuques, Aix-en-Provence, France, Postcode 13621. I don't have a telephone number as yet, but will post it when I do.

1. The Laundry (more interesting than it sounds!)

The laundry bag seemed to be filling up, possibly because I am a little paranoid about cleanliness (this is a sudden thing; as I said I never cared too much about being a neat-freak in Sydney). It was a bit of a trek with a big laundry bag, and using the machines was a bit confusing. Luckily I ran into a German girl called Melissa who spoke fluent English and had been here for 4 months; she told me how to buy the washing powder, use the washing machine and use the drier. While I sat there waiting I spoke to her for a while, and she told me how her French was still quite bad after 4 months. She had pretty much spoken English non-stop while here, because enough of her fellow students living near her spoke it as well. This rang warning bells for me, because I had assumed that a sojourn in another country for just a couple of months is sufficient to come out speaking fluently in that country's language. It's possible these days to surround yourself by English speakers in nearly any country, and get by speaking minimally in the local language. This is particularly true if surrounded by students. I knew from speaking to her that I had to make a stronger effort to surround myself by French speakers, but I was not sure how much of an effort was needed at that point.

2. The First Class, or, The steep decent phase of the bell curve

Whenever people educate on culture shock, the first thing they whip out is the bell curve diagram. This diagram charts the expected emotional peaks and (mostly) troughs that one endures when living in another country. It starts off with a slight peak, as you are excited and busy with the settling in. However quite rapidly you start to go into decline, with feelings of resentment and homesickness swamping you.

My first class at IEP led to a very sharp emotional decline. It seemed like an easy enough class - it was for second year students, and it was called 'The History of Political Ideas'. Didn't seem too bad. Then I entered the room where the lecture took place. Despite being in the IEP itself and not in the cathedral across the road, it is DEFINITELY a former church. It was a huge amphitheatre type room, but unlike normal amphitheatres where the lecturers are below the audience, the lecturer here was raised up by an enormous pew at the end of the room, and the area where the students' tables are is completely flat. Essentially, all the students needed to look up and at some distance to see the lecturer. If we were in any doubt about the religious origins of this room, it was dispelled by the presence of 2 large crosses, one on either side of where the lecturer sits. It was as if God himself was speaking down to us, and from what I had heard about the French education system, I wasn't too far off.

The lesson itself was devestating to morale. In 2 and a half hours of the lecturer talking at us, I perhaps understood 15 words. Ok maybe a bit more, but not much. He seemed to be talking about Rousseau and the social contract, but I only worked that out because the person sitting next to me saw how lost I was and showed me the syllabus they had received last semester. The lecturer, a professor Ricci, looked like a cross between Richard Nixon and Tintin's Thomson and Thompson. Like Richard Nixon, about 60% of the words were swallowed within his flabby cheeks, and to make things his worse, he seemed to have some sort of lisp. Oh, and of course he spoke in very fast French using political terminology, and I had only been in France for a couple of days. If I had a gun, I think I definitely would have shot him, out of frustration. I began to panic, and say to myself what a mistake it had been for me to come to France, and how I just wanted to go back to Sydney where all things familiar and in English were. With the panic came pain, and my brain responded to the pain by trying to shut itself down. Darkness and tiredness came, and somewhere on the border between sleep and the real world I began to hallucinate, and like the famous surrealist clock, I imagined his flabby cheeks beginning to droop and melt and mix with typed words, spilling out all over the pew.

At some point I woke up, and Ricci Nixon was still talking, and the French students were still scribbling away at their notes as if they were receiving the 10,000 commandments. At some point a giant black dog had entered the room, and was sleeping on the floor - not sure what the deal with that was. Some of the Scandinavian exchange students who I had befriended the previous day had taken the same class; their seats were empty. I followed their cue and left.

3. French class

I had some relief when I went outside; the Scandinavian students were outside complaining that this man was impossible to understand. As terrible as it sounds, it was good to hear the others were having as many problems as me (perhaps not AS many, but they weren't understanding at any rate). I was not alone.

We all headed off to the class in 'French as a foreign language' (hereafter simply 'French Class'), and the difference was incredible. I could understand the teacher's French almost completely! It took about 20 minutes to get to this stage of course, as I had to recover from the extreme shock of the previous class. After some point I was able to relax slightly, but there was still a heavy weight on my mind. It helped that the teacher spoke very clearly and slowly, and ran a very interactive class. We covered some basic grammar, and I think I was able to learn something.

After the class, we went out to a fairly trendy bar called Bar Sextius; Sextius seems to be quite a common name for streets and clubs and bars in Aix - I think it was the name of the Roman General who founded the city in something or other BC. There were lots of other international students from IEP there that night, but I remember having problems being able to think clearly and engage in small talk. I began to feel quite insecure even in this social situation, and confided this insecurity in Nicole. She too seemed to be undergoing some sort of emotional decline, and telling each other of this fact only made us feel worse. It was a long, cold walk back to the accommodation.

4. Plateau

Despite having set my phone alarm, I didn't get up on time. Either I slept through it, or it didn't go off. I had an 8am class called 'Geopolitics of the Major Religions'. It took me forever to get ready; I think subconsciously I didn't want to go to uni again. I trudged along, buying a crèpe along the way for breakfast, and walked into the class 30 minutes late. The professor seemed annoyed at my lateness, asking me where I was. I resisted the temptation to say 'none of your business' (possibly aided by the fact that I didn't know how to say that in French), and said my alarm didn't work. He said, in a most sarcastic tone, that it was a good argument, then said something else for a bit which I didn't understand. I just nodded and smiled. He started talking and didn't stop for an hour. Never once talking about the structure of the course or anything like that, he launched into a speech about the effect of religion on mid-east politics, sporadically mentioning India-Pakistan and Jihad vs Mcworld type things. It seemed interesting, and thankfully we had a break. After the break he kept going for a further 1.5 hours and my attention failed me. He was simply too random, and without knowing even what I was supposed to be understanding, my brain simply gave up. I was still plagued by a strong sense of insecurity, so it was difficult for me to want to concentrate also.

The Scandinavians were also in that class; they were meant to join me for my next class too, one called 'Globalisation and Regionalisation'. However they went and had something to eat instead, given they were braindead after the morning class. It was probably a good in retrospect; I went and sat in that class tired and completely unable to concentrate. However the professor seemed to be kindly with a good sense of humour; he spoke quite slowly and on occassion lapsed into English phrases. Unfortunately I picked up little of what he said due to my own state of mind.

After the class I went and sat outside the room for next class, even though it was an hour and a half away. Excuses for going back to Sydney seemed to be flooding through my head; perhaps I could 'have' a nervous breakdown and get my insurance to cover my return flight. I remembered how a news item about a Chinese student at Monash University who lost his mind from frustration with the language barrier, and ended up shooting a couple of people. I wondered if I would ever go that crazy, and if that would also be covered by my insurance. At any rate, I was definitely ready to go home.

5. The King of the Cake

As I sat there feeling terrible, one of the American exchange students I had befriended two days ago, a guy called Lynn, saw me and came over. He reminded me that a function specifically for international students, Les Galettes du Roi (the cakes of the king), was about to start. Was certainly good timing.

Eglantine had organised the affair; apparently it was a Catholic tradition very common in France. The cake was essentially just pastry with a sweet centre, and with one figurine included in each cake. The idea is that whoever gets the piece with the figurine in it, having presumably not choked on it, wears a crown and pays for the champagne. There was no champagne there, so nobody needed to pay for that, but they were lucky enough to be able keep the figurines and wear the paper crowns provided. With several cakes but many students we only had a slight chance of becoming the king of the cake; I was lucky enough to be one of those kings.

My luck continued to improve, as I felt a tap on the shoulder and a distinctly Australian (but polished) accent say "hello stranger!" It was Tom Bowes, a fellow New Southerner! He was with two other New Southerners, both of whom I knew quite well from UNSW: Stefanie Andrews and Sophie Klineberg. All three seemed very relaxed, and they were quite surprised by my stressed-out state. I actually found it hard to speak in English too, for a few minutes! It was definitely good to see them again, and my mood lifted. They are all based in the other university accommodation, and having taken down their details I promised them I would visit when I could.

6. Ascent

Although somewhat late, I headed for a class entitled 'Environment and Society'. It turned out it was in the same room as the 'Globalisation and Regionalisation' class, and with the same professor. When I walked into the room everyone looked at me and started laughing, and the professor addressed me as your majesty; I realised I was still wearing the crown...

A few minutes in this class made me realise that I had made an excellent choice. The professor, a Mr Michel Duquette, had a good sense of humour and spoke an easily comprehensible French. The topic, concerned with questions of sustainable development, was really interesting too. I was able to understand some 70% of what he said, which was very encouraging. For the first time in what felt like forever, I found something engaging my interest and was able to focus on it. After the class, I found myself able to speak better French! Was definitely a happy moment for me. I now had 2 classes secured with this professor. Unfortunately he did not teach anymore, but I am sure there would be others just as good.

7. Madman van Sloun and a long social occassion

I had my first French class with the teacher who will be taking me for the rest of the semester, a Monsieur van Sloun. I think he is German. I know he is slightly insane, but in a good way, to be sure. A really nice guy, with a bizarre and utterly random sense of humour, he seems to have mastered the art of interactive teaching. To help people remember names, everyone had to come up with a word to go with their name, the only condition being that the word had to start with the same letter as your name. I didn't have to think twice to come up with 'Vinay le vegeterien' - in fact I didn't have to think at all, because Christian suggested it to the class, and it seems to have stuck.

A large bunch of us headed out for dinner afterwards at a Thai restaraunt. Was a slightly weird experience ordering food in French at a Thai restaraunt. Food was good, and as seems to becoming increasingly the norm amongst we international students, we spoke about languages and the joys of being multilingual. Ironically, the whole conversation took place in English, even though out of the whole group of about 10 people only 2 of us were from countries whose official language actually was English (Australia and US respectively). At about 9pm we finished up and headed out to an Irish Pub (O'Malleys) and stayed there until about 1am. Although I was the only teetotaller in the group, I am happy to report that everyone there drinks responsibly.

The conversation at the pub was very interesting. I found out a lot more about Leah - a patriotic American, yet simultaneously a staunch Democrat and a dedicated enemy of George W Bush, she seemed to be feeling the heat of being an American in France. After telling people she is from the US, she has felt snubbed...this is unfortunate, because there are a good number of liberal Americans like her who are just as open-minded and intelligent as their friends over the border, the Canadians. The trouble is, I think they still are in the minority. It's tough for those who study and work overseas, because they are the ones who probably have the most open mind yet cop most of the heat of being American. I myself realised I had my own stereotypes of the country and its people, which is unfortunate, especially because I remember having much more favourable views of the country before George W was 'elected'. It just goes to show the effect that the leadership can have on people's perceptions. I myself am glad to have had the opportunity to change my opinion about the US - in part, anyway.

We stayed in the pub until 1am, and when we left it was COLD. Definitely below zero, because the puddles were frozen over!!!

Mon jour première à l'université (My first day at university)

2006-01-03T20:00:00.000-08:00

Despite the title of the posting, I'll actually be covering 2 days here - Jan 2nd and Jan 3rd.

1. The 'Group': Nicole, Leah, Christian

At various points during the 2nd January, Rob and I met three other exchange students who will also be studying at IEP (Institute of Political Studies). They are the only students arriving at this time who live in our accommodation and are studying at IEP, so given the amount we seem to have in common, we have become fast friends. I'll put a little description of each of them. The description for Nicole is longer because she was the first one we met, and we have gotten to know her a bit better.

Nicole, who will be in France for one semester, is originally from Michigan, but has been living and studying (Int Relations) in the capital of Lousinia, Baton Rouge. Apparently the media attack on the US government for their response to Katrina was actually an underestimate of how bad things really were. All her friends from New Orleans lost their homes...its quite sad to hear about the situation from someone who actually saw it. Quite naturally she is not particularly fond of George W Bush, although the Hurricane Response only exacerbated her dislike of the man, as she voted for someone else in the last election.

Nicole is quite a strong Catholic, and she has said she wants to make a visit specially to the Vatican. I asked her opinion on Pope Benedict, and she said that even though she didn't know much about him, she thought he was awesome simply because he was The Pope! Nicole is very friendly, yet is prone to moments of vicious sarcasm. She tells me this is a 'Michigan thing' and to make nothing of it. I guess her sarcasm should be appreciated, because I know its not a very American thing, but a very Australian thing - although our sarcasm seems to be a bit more light-hearted in nature. Nicole also has a tendency to disappear into her own world for periods of time, which is fine by me, because I know do exactly the same thing.

Leah, who will be in France for one semester, is also from Michigan originally, but has been living and studying (also Int Relations) somewhere in Florida. At 19 she is the youngest of us, but seems more mature than her age. Her family is Irish in origin. I guess I don't know her well enough yet to note anything particular, but she is definitely friendly too. I think she is quite a straightforward individual, with no secret, bizarre and unexpected traits, which I know I have often been accused of having in Australia.

Christian is from Cordoba, Argentina. He is extremely valuable to have around, because his English is somewhere close to zero, so we are forced to speak in French with him. He has only been studying French for one year, but he is extremely good considering this - he is at about our level, and we have all studied it longer than him. He also speaks Italian (his mother is Italian) and of course Spanish. He is extremely friendly, and is here for one year, so he is great to have around. I am thinking of picking up Spanish in the second semester, and he has promised to help me if I do :)

2. Walking, fitness and my busted ankle

I must have been really unfit in Sydney. Well actually I already knew that, but I didnt know I was THAT unfit. I've been doing a lot more walking in Aix; its about 20 minute walk to the main Street, and a further 10 minutes to IEP. Since I've gotten here, I've done the round trip to the main St once or sometimes twice a day, which is between 40-80 minutes of walking per day. This isn't much, but I was pretty unfit...not only have I lost a large amount of weight, but also I woke up one morning with a strained ankle, and that was possibly from the 'excessive' walking. Its still busted as I type this, but I've been hobbling along as best as I can. Unfortunately I had to miss an informal social gathering of the international students at IEP because my leg was in too much pain.

Thankfully there is a solution. There is a student organisation called 'Bikes on Campus' which has been around since 1901, and they rent out bicycles to students for either 5 euros per month, or 40 euros for the whole year. While it has been a while since I have ridden a bike, I think it is definitely the best option I have.

3. Random logistics

I had my meeting with the cleaning lady to mark down the state of the room. Even though she spoke extremely quickly, we managed to get some sort of communication going. She gave me some cleaning products and a broom, and promised to send someone to fix the tap (who came quite soon and did fix that tap, thankfully).

I also managed to pay for my accommodation and my fridge, however for some reason I still don't have a fridge. I have to take the proof of payment somewhere else, then bring it back, etc. This kind of inefficient to-ing anf fro-ing seems to be quite common in French bureaucracy. Just another argument for mass privatisation, I guess.

We found an even cheaper supermarket called ED. It seems to work on the basis of mass production, so while the quality suffers somewhat, it is definitely good for students to shop there. Having bought all my food the other day at a slightly more expensive shopping centre called 'Casino', I did not buy anything there. But definitely will in future.

3. The first day at IEP

On the crisp, cold morning of 3rd January, my freedom came to an end. Although thankfully it didn't feel like it, as everyone was really friendly. We were met at the gate of our accommodation by Madeline Neoux, one of the IEP administrators responsible for students, and the person for whom Johanna works. She was extremely friendly, speaking French very slowly, and with a wonderful sense of humour. She took us to the IEP, answering questions along the way.

IEP is a beautiful old building; perhaps once it was a mansion for some fat feudal lord of the Middle Ages. Opposite is a medieval cathedral which looks amazing; apparently some of the classes at IEP take place there. I wish I could say the same about the inside of IEP. It was definitely put together in the 70s, and I don't think it has undergone renovation since then. The general colour of the inside is an off-yellow, perhaps yellow with a smidgen of brown in it. I thought UNSW was ugly, but this really lowers the bar considerably. I guess its just a matter of acclimitisation.

At IEP we were shepherded into a roomwith about 20-30 international students, many of whom spoke much better French than me. There seemed to be a large number of Americans, a good number of Canadians, and a few people from assorted European countries (Czech Republic, Sweden, Norway, Netherlands). A man with a very calm expression and an even calmer voice addressed the room, with a welcome address about subjects and logistics. I felt the at,osphere of the room relax as he spoke - he would be an amazing hypnotist! His name is David Coates, and he is the head of international relations at IEP. From what I picked up from other students who have known him, this man is legendary for his kindness and calm. As someone who stresses myself and as a consequence stresses others, I have much to learn from him. I had a conversation with David Coates later in the day; he is English, and despite having lived in France for 26 years, he still has a very strong English accent!

We were given some drinks and some good quality pizza (at least by Australian standards), and it was random networking time (clearly I've been in AIESEC for far too long). I found out I can do the Certificate of Political Studies and finish off with a diploma, which is good. Eglantine took us on a tour of the IEP, but it was quite hard to follow what she was saying. I kept asking about internet, and there seems to be a number of places thre which have it. Unfortunately, the ugliness of the inside was uniform throughout the building.

Afterwards we enroled in our subjects. Its quite a different system - there are tutorial type subjects on the one hand, and lecture type subjects on the other: no combination as we usually Australia. While you need to enrol in the tute subjects immediately, you just rock up to the lecture and see if you like it, if not then don't do it. The test for the lecture type one is an oral exam, where you just talk your way through the subject matter to your professor, and are given a mark for your understanding. I had one compulsory tute called 'France in the World' which I enroled in; I also enroled in two other tutes: 'Law of the European Community' (i.e. European Union Law) and 'Political Analysis of Latin America'. I'm not sure which of the lectures I will attend; I've got some in mind.

I have no classes on Wednesday, so I'll spend the time cleaning and doing other random logistics, not to mention filling in the massive forms.

Bonne Année (Happy New Year)

2006-01-01T15:21:00.000-08:00

Bonne Année!!

Hopefully 2006 turns out to be a better year for the world than 2005, which was natural disasters all the way. And of course Bush's re-inauguration, a completely man-made disaster.

My Dec 31 started off with a bit of exploration of the old part of Aix. Most of it was built in Medieval times, and is filled with beautiful old architecture - often combined with newer additions. One example is 'Librairie de Provence', a massive bookstore whose top two levels are new, but whose underground floor was clearly a medieval construction. It seemed to be some sort of dungeon, and in what I guess was probably a torture room, is now a room filled with dictionaries. I'm making a lot of guesses as to what the place was once used for, but dungeons and torture seem to fit the mood of the place, and its fun to imagine it that way too.

The bookstore was awesome - they had EVERYTHING. While not as big and with less books, it seemed to have more diversity in the type of books than Dymocks on George St, Sydney. Some things never change, and I found myself browsing the bookstore for 2 hours (but not buying anything). In particular I enjoyed the comics section - I have never seen so many types of comics, nor even knew that so many comics existed! Most of them were French-made, although your traditional Marvel and DC comics did make a slight appearance. Of course, there was plenty of Tintin and Asterix on display :)

After eating a meal at a sandhich stand, I decided I won't ever come back to Australia. Eating out is simply too good here. If I can feel like I am eating gourmet food from eating a €2 crèpe at a sandwich stand, imagine what actual french gourmet is like!! That was my breakfast; my lunch was a foccacia containing 4 types of cheese. The latter, while delicious, gave me a bad stomach and I was sick in the late afternoon. I don't know if it had been prepared unhygienically, or, more likely, i couldn't handle all those cheeses just yet. It hasn't stopped me from enjoying food - I think this year is going to spoil me senseless with all the gourmet foods, breads and cheeses.

During my explorations of the old part of Aix, I came across many, many clothes shops. A stupidly high number of them. I may seen about 25 so far, and I am sure there are many more. There are more clothes shops here than there are food outlets. I have since discovered that the people of Aix (the Aixois, pronounced 'Ex-wa') are unusually trendy and fashion-obsessed, even for France, which is a pretty trendy and fashion-obsessed country as a whole. I know that if my sister Kavita is reading this, she'll be happy, because she quite rightly thinks I am a dag, and her years of effort at de-dagification have thus far been quite unsuccessful. Unfortunately the Aixois only care about looking fashionable themselves and don't bother exerting peer pressure on others to also be fashionable - international students are proudly sloppy. However I do have an element of self-awareness and some minimal desire to fit in, so I've decided to shave every day. Ooh, that sounds like a good New Year's Resolution! I'm going to add it to my list.

There was a certain irony underriding all this fashion. No matter how many shops I entered, not one of them had a pair of gloves. I found this utterly stupid, that they would be willing to sell trendy clothing but not bother to stock the essentials (and a pair of gloves is definitely an essential in this freezing climate). In the end, I managed to get my gloves, but from the most unexpected place possible: The Gap. I had come to the clothing capital of the world, only to be forced to buy clothes from a stereotypically American shop. I felt a bit weird entering The Gap, not being white and all, but the guy who helped me pick out the (overpriced) gloves was Vietnamese. I guess globalised companies can change to meet local conditions. The shop attendants at The Gap were also extremely fashionably dressed, which is another big change from other Gap stores I have seen around the world.

Speaking of Americans, I ran into Shannon and Jeremy on the street (the helpful American exchange student and her visiting friend). I had a good chat with them while we walked to the pharmacy. Their friend Jason had gotten the flu from the cold weather. I am not sure it was a good idea given that it was even colder up north, but they were headed up to Paris that evening for New Year's and to spend a couple of days there. Shannon was helpful to me yet again, as she was the one who pointed out The Gap as a place where they should have gloves, even if overpriced ( I ended up paying €18, but they are very good and will last for 5-10 years).

After getting back home, I ran into Rob Watson on the stairs (he is a fellow UNSW student who will also be studying at IEP, and starts at the same time as me). He came back to my room, and we ate some bread with roquefort cheese and caught up about our various adventures over the previous days. He had had some bizarre experiences, from being woken up by snoring from another room in a youth hostel, to being thrown up on the plane by the person in the seat next to him (apparently the guy drunk 4 ot the white wine bottles - they are smaller bottles on the plane, but that is still excessive). Perhaps more bizarre still was that he met an Australian in his youth hostel in Nice, and this Australian knew me! Her name is Carmen, and she is a member of AIESEC University of Queensland. Once again, it seems its a small world after all...

Rob and I headed out for the New Year's Party which had been organised by Eglatine, the liason officer between the International Dept. at IEP and the international students. She was extremely friendly; she had made plenty of food and desert, and the party was held in her home. Talk about commitment to the job! She lived in the apartment with Mark, her husband who was originally from Louisiana in the US. The party was much smaller than I had expected, but it was good that way as it had allowed everyone to have a proper chat with one another. There were a couple of students who were already there or arrived at the same time as us: Bei and Helena from Canton, China, both of whom had been in Aix for 4 months. There was a Canadian girl called Rianna (sp?), from Ottawa, and she had arrived a few days ago. Finally there was a French girl who lived in Aix, and had recently completed a year of exchange at UNSW. Despite some good conversation with her, I unfortunately have forgotten her name.

The students there were quite accomplished, especiqlly linguistically, and this made me feel a tad jealous. Rianna spoke fluent English, Spanish and French (although her mother is Guatemalan, and she did live in Canada, so all 3 languages were kind of second-nature from birth); both Bei and Helena spoke fluent Mandarin, Cantonese, English and near-fluent French. I told them about my envy, and they reassured me that I could learn these languages. After all, I speak English and will have French under wraps within the year, so just a few more years of study and some exchanges/internships to those countries will get me to a similar level. I think I will pick up Spanish as a subject this year, as I will have a chance to use it as Spain is just over the border.

I had a very interesting conversation with Bei, who is a law student in China, about the Chinese legal system. Apparently legal argument is a bit of a farce there, and judges pretty much make decisions before the case has even begun. Particularly interesting was the fact that judges could be directly appointed without any experience as a legal practioner - Bei said he knew a 23 year old judge!!!! I definitely would like to read more about the Chinese legal system, because it seems very different to Western ones, where the focus is less on the judge and more on the lawyers.

Just when we were about to leave, at 11:30pm, about 6 French students arrived. They left with us, which was right away, and we headed down to a bar meet one of Rianna's Guatemalan friends who had been studying in Aix for 3 years, doing law. His whole family (mother, sister and father) was visiting from Guatemala, and they were all lawyers, or law students in the case of him and his sister. It was quite bizarre, spending New Years Eve with a family of Guatemalan lawyers, but they certainly were interesting conversationalists. The father in particular was very interesting - he had been practising criminal law for 25 years and had been exposed to the extraordinary corruption in the Guatemalan legal system, yet maintained an amazing level of idealism in spite of this. He was quite an inspirational character.

With Rianna voluntarily acting as Spanish-English interpreter, we conversed with him long into the hours of the morning, on issues ranging from sustainable development to comparative law to human rights abuses to interplanetary colonisation. He posed some very general questions to us (Rob, Rianna and myself) and as a result got some very general conversations resulting from it. For example, he opened up the conversation with "What do you, as the youth of today, think of the world of the past, present and future?" There's a phrase often associated with calculators: garbage in, garbage out. While our conversation was far from garbage, I think the same principles apply, with respect to the generality of his question anyway. During our discussion, I argued why the environment is the biggest priority for humanity at the moment, while the other 3 seemed to favour a a more social justice/human rights oriented argument. Ultimately the arguments over prioritisation are irrelevant - you need people working towards both environmental sustainability and human rights; if you focus on human rights exclusively then human society would no longer exist, and if you focus on environment exclusively then human society would be intolerable to live in. The important thing is that we actually do work towards them, as opposed to limiting our influence on world affairs to random chats in bars.

The New Year's Eve 'countdown' was sort of a non-event, we kind of realised it was 2006 after the fact. I began to think that New Year's was itself a non-event in France, until everyone started running around hugging one another and kissing each other on the cheek, the way that French people do when saying hello. I found myself being hugged and kissed on the cheek by complete strangers, which was a little bizarre at first to say the least, but it seems to be normal here so I just went along. I actually found the ritual quite repetitive and tiring after a few minutes, so I just sat down and continued my interesting, if very generic, conversation with the Guatemalan legal family.

We went out afterwards to some dance club - but I was too tired, and headed home. I fell asleep; was about 4am, and didn't wake up until 6pm that evening on the 1st January. Afterwards I woke up and had a pasta dinner with Rob, and we chatted about everything from music to the legalisation of drugs. Apparently pot smoking is quite common and is tolerated here, but if you're reading this mum, don't worry i have no desire to rot my brain or make myself schizophrenic.

S'installer et se calmer (Settling In and Settling Down)

2005-12-30T23:23:00.000-08:00

This is the second time I am posting this message, which is quite annoying. I was almost finished when all the computers decided to reset themselves - it was all of them at once, so I guess it was programmed to do so. It was 4:15 am, so perhaps they did not figure a jetlagged individual would be happily typing away at that time. A lesson learned...

Things are definitely looking up. Overnight my language level seems to have improved enormously, as I'm now able to understand most everyday conversation. I think once I got over the initial shock of hearing everyone speak French, and also managed to get some sleep after my 25 or so hours of flying, I found my studied French coming back to me. I sometimes find myself thinking in French, and I am also able to listen more carefully to what people are saying, because my brain no longer panics when someone speaks to it in French. I now feel extremely confident about picking up French very quickly, and have got into the habit of carrying around a dictionary wherever I go. If I see a word I don't know, or an object whose word in French I don't know, then I look it up. I have not done this as yet in places like shopping centres, where there are simply too many new words, but I intend to devote some hours to that in a few days time. It is certainly a very tiring an intensive experience, but I am enjoying it greatly.

I have found parallel to my improvement in language that the French are really wonderful, helpful people (or at least the people in this town anyway). It has nothing to do with them being more accepting of me as I can speak their language a bit more now, but everything to do with my own perception. Being able to understand their help, and not feeling threatened anymore, have certainly contributed to my feelings of goodwill.

I had my first French meal today - up until then I was surviving off a huge packet of soy crisps which I had brought from Sydney. It was at a restaraunt specially designed for students called 'Resto U', and I will definitely be back there. The food was good, generous and exceptionally cheap! I got some spicy cooked vegetables, a mound of french fries, two youghurts and a side plate of salad, all for €2,85!!! That's cheaper than cooking your own food with products from the supermarket.

My bag arrived this morning, which was a massive relief. I know my mother was concerned that I would live out of my suitcase, so if you are reading this mum, don't worry I have unpacked nearly everything. In fact a sudden compulsion to be neat has seized me, which is bizarre given how messy I used to be - perhaps i've realised subconsciously that the buck really does stop with me, and that I am the one who will suffer if the place is a mess. This experience of living alone will definitely be good for me.

This is a good opportunity to talk about the living conditions. The rooms are so-so, fairly limited in space, and with quite basic facilities. The wallpaper seems to be peeling in a number of places. There is a table with two drawers, two chairs, lots of shelves, a small wardrobe, two large cupboards, a randomly included chalkboard without chalk, a continuously leaky sink, a bed with borrowed sheets and pillow and a curious contraption called a bidet. The dictionary translation of bidet is 'bidet', which isn't exactly the most useful translation the dictionary has given me! Someone told me it is basically a urinal, but instead of hanging on the wall, it sits on the floor.

There is also a communal bathroom and a communal kitchen. The bathroom contains the commodes and the showers, and on the whole seems quite well-kept. The only problem is the absence of toilet paper - we need to provide our own. The communal kitchen is very very basic - just some sinks, a couple of hotplates, a microwave and a personalised fridge (at €33 per year, fridge rent is very cheap!). There are no communal cooking utensils, cutlery or cleaning instruments - again we need to provide this ourselves. Time for me to do some shopping, I think.

I did do some shopping, in my first little venture out to the main part of the city. In the supermarket, I was utterly stunned by the variety of choice they had. In Australia you are seriously getting gipped. There was at least 50 of everything, and probably double for the cheeses and chocolates. The fresh vegetables are beautifully displayed in baskets - layout seems to be very important in shops here, more so than in Australia. I ended up buying a loaf of bread and a block of roquefort cheese - absolutely delicious!! I know I am going to spoil myself with all these amazing cheeses, and I'm worried about how cheese-fussy I will become on my return to Australia.

I went to a major department store called 'Monoprix' and bought a large pot, a plate, a bowl, a fork, a spoon, a knife and a warm blanket. The blanket in particular is a welcome addition to my inventory, because now I won't freeze at night. I'll buy sheets when I have a bank account, for now I buy the essentials. One of the essentials I missed out on was a pair of gloves - they had run out! It is freezing here, so everyone has rushed out to buy themselves gloves.

The cold is probably the most uncomfortable element of my existence here. For one, the sky is perpetually grey. I never thought I would miss the sun, but I do. Also when I said it was freezing, I was being literal - outside the department store was a fountain with massive icicles hanging where there should be running water. On my walk home at about 6:30 in the evening from the department store, my fingers began to feel extremely painful, and I felt my throat clogging up. Before my organs stopped functioning I was lucky to reach home. I will definitely make a much more determined effort to get a scarf and gloves tomorrow.

The walk from the department store wasn't all bad; I did notice some amusing signs which I will take photos of. One was a piece of graffiti, in English, which said 'Help the police - Beat yourself Up!' I found that pretty funny at the time, but I wonder if there is a more serious undertone to that - was it just a randomly funny piece of graffiti, or is there a serious problem with police beatings here? Another just bizarre sign I saw was a directions sign - it simply said 'Other directions' on it. Why on earth would you have a direction sign that says that on it? I've seen a few of them, so I guess I must have missed something. Will investigate further.

I have met some more friendly English-speaking exchange students while I am here. One is Bao, from Vietnam, who is doing his economics degree here. There seems to be a large nu,ber of vietnamese students here - presumably because French is one of the major languages in Vietnam, making France an obvious choice for study. I also met Shailja, a girl from Chandigarh, India, who is doing a Masters in Law here. Apparently there are a few other North Indians here as well, so she has committed them to teaching me Hindi. I look forward to it.

Tomorrow night I will meet a lot of the exchange students at a New Year's dinner organised by the University, including Rob Watson who I think will arrive tomorrow. New Year's in France should be interesting, although the following is a direct quote from Yahoo News: 'Burning cars is not unusual in France - where dozens of cars are set afire on an average night. But the number has risen to about 300 on New Year's Eve in recent years, according to the Interior Ministry. "Nothing's different. We are indeed expecting cars to be burned like every year" Catherine Casteran, a spokeswoman for the national police, said by phone on Friday.' What a shame I'm not in Paris to see the pyrotechnic display. :S

That's all from me for now. My next post will be in the New Year...so happy New Year to everyone! Make sure your New Year's Resolutions are realistic, but ambitious! :)

Vol et arrivée (flight and arrival)

2005-12-29T19:55:00.000-08:00

It's quite tempting to write in French, because I know I need all the practice I can get. But I know most of the people who claim they will read this are Australian, so I'll write in English so they have no excuse but to read it.

My fingers are really hurting right now...I think my fingers were so used to the Australian keyboard that it actually hurts to adjust (it could also be the cold, but I'm not sure) One good result of that is I won't waffle as I usually do. Or at least until I get the hang of this keyboard.

It took me many many hours to get here by plane. Was travelling for nearly 1.5 days - Sydney to Bangkok, Bangkok to London, London to Paris, Paris to Marseilles. Am super jetlagged - that is why I am making this post at 5am.

From Sydney to Bangkok I sat next to a guy called Anthony who looked like a clone of Nick Trim (President of AIESEC Curtin, for those of you who don't know him). A nice guy, he owns a business in Hungary importing swimming gear from Brazil. Funnily enough he did his undergrad at UNSW, and knew AIESEC UNSW well as he had many a friend in it. A lot of his Hungarian friends are ex-interns in Hungary. Its a cliché to say it, but its definitely a small world.

From Bangkok to London, the long flight, I was lucky to get an aisle seat, and sit next to a nice English couple in their 50s. Even though I spoke to them a great deal; I never got to know their names. I guess its weird to open a conversation with your neighbour with a formal nominal introduction, and once you're deep in conversation you tend to forget. They had been traveling in Thailand for the last month and having a blast. I asked them a lot of questions about Europe; it seemed I knew more about Europe than them! It seemed to be 'backyard syndrome' - they'd never really traveled or learnt much about Europe because it was always there. Same with most Australians - how many have been to Uluru?

Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris is a nightmare. Its massive and confusing, and the shock of hearing everyone speaking in French all of a sudden did not help. I remember talking to the check-in lady, trying to speak in my bad French...she just glanced at me and said rather coldly "speak english". I felt a bit silly after that, but kept trying to speak french with other airport staff. It seemed to work. At the gate however, the airport staff member who was speaking French to everyone took one look at me and started speaking English. It's not that obvious is it? Maybe its my bad dress sense, or the fact that I looked awful being unshaven and generally revolting after 26 hours of travel. One of the observations I've made of the French so far is that everyone seems to keep themselves very tidy and fashionable. Thinking back on the incident, he probably saw that I was carrying a giant French-English Dictionary.

The view on the final flight was amazing - I was glad I had specifically requested a window seat. I had been impressed on the descent to Paris, with white in every direction, but on the flight to Marseilles I saw the Alps: through the clouds! They are extremely beautiful, and reminded me of my trip to New Zealand. I'll definitely be spending a lot of time skiing there; will post photos as soon as I have some!

At Marseilles airport, I came out of the terminal to see a sign saying 'AIESEC - It's up to you!'
Thus I met Johanna Rasplus, the person from the Department of International Relations who was assigned to pick me up from the airport and help me settle into Aix. She also happens to be the VPICX of AIESEC Marseilles. It was a very random coincidence, as there are many people who work for the international relations department, and only one AIESECer in the whole city (she works for AIESEC Marseilles, despite being in a town 30 minutes away). Her English is very good, she is very friendly and amazingly professional. Despite a continual series of problems (my luggage still being in Paris, a spelling error in my name causing administrative chaos at the accommodation place, being sent the details for the wrong accommodation place, etc.) she handled them as much as possible. She also gave me a lot of advice with advice with regards to the room and payment details, and other things like when we will meet to open a bank account etc. I think if it weren't for her help I would be stuck somewhere begging for food near the airport. One of the French MCP candidates had mentioned to me over msn that Johanna has been tagged for a national committee position next year despite the fact that she is a first-year AIESEC member. Given her level of professionalism, this does not surprise me at all.

I felt a bit glum after she left because it meant I had to fend for myself in this strange environment where I did not speak the language properly. I unsuccessfully tried to negotiate for some sheets and pillow from the site manager - it may have been possible if we were able to communicate effectively, but I won't know for some time. So, stuck without luggage, sheets or a pillow I sat down unsure of what to do next. I realised I needed to keep busy to avoid the feelings of alienation that come with culture shock, which I was clearly under the influence of.
I thought I should call my sister and tell her I had arrived. I headed for an empty phone booth, when I heard someone say - in English - that the phone didn't work. Their use of English didn't register until I heard one of them say 'he speaks english' in response to my response. It was then I realised how good it felt to hear a foreigner - they were Americans - speaking English. With the exception of Johanna, the French had come across to me so far as an impenetrable cultural monolith, and even when they spoke English to me they were still somehow 'against' me for being a foreigner. Its all ridiculous and entirely the effect of culture shock, but it can feel horribly true. For that moment, I was so happy to be in the company of Americans.

The 3 Americans are pretty cool people. There were two guys, Jeremy and Jason, and one girl, Shannon. Shannon was the exchange student - she had been here for 4 months and will be here until July. The other two were her friends, just visiting from the US for 2 weeks. Those two openly boasted to be even more mystified by France than me, which naturally incited me to describe my own troubles to date. It turned out to be a good open forum for us to air our grievances and help us get over the feeling of culture shock to some extent. I look forward to further conversations with Shannon to help me understand living in Aix, and to remind me that there will be a time when the language difficulties come to an end. Having heard my plight with the sheets and pillow, she told me that she had an extra set and lent it to me. This one gesture gave me a lot of calm - not only would I not freeze tonight, but there really are solutions to the problems I will be facing, and there will be nice people to help me when I'm in trouble.

Feeling a lot more confident, I've made my 'faire' (to-do) list for the next few days. One of the things was the creation of a blog, which I've now done :). I look forward to getting lots of comments from people, its a good way to keep in touch. If you actually want to read more in future, post in the comments what you want me to write about and I will do my best. Internet access is a bit limited, so I will post when I can.