Life at Star's Rest

2009-07-10T05:59:00.000-07:00

Let's get this over with!

Lilla from Rhymes with Vanilla gave me this cute blog award. Like her, I have absolutely no idea what it means. I don't want this to sound ungrateful because I do love that people think this blog is worth an award; but after five or six times of being asked to list interesting things that no one knows about you...you run out of stuff! I'll give it my best shot though and as usual, I'm going to break the rules and not pass this one on to anyone specific. In my mind, everyone out there with a blog deserves the 'Honest Scrap' award! So take it and run with it if you have a desire to.

So here goes, ten interesting things no one, at least on the internet in general, knows about me.

1. I was my mother's last child, born in Fort Worth, Texas at Carswell Air Force Base and the only one of her children born with my father present. His commanding officer ordered him to go to the hospital when my mother went into labor.

2. I was conceived in Alaska while my father worked on the DEW (Distant Early Warning) Line. My siblings told me they would have liked me better if I had been born in Alaska because it was the biggest state

3. Since I left home at 18, I have never been without at least one large dog.

4. The first horse that I bought for myself (for $100) was an 18 year old Tennessee Walker who had been trained as a jumper. His name was Carrigan's Fancy and he was an even bigger butthead that Griton.

5. I used to own a house in Geronimo, Texas and it was the only house in town with a palm tree in the front yard. Of course, 'town' was stretching things back then.

6. I didn't learn to drive a car until I was 19. How did I get around? Those were the days when it was relatively safe to hitchhike. I went to college in a small town in the mountains in northern California and used to catch a ride to campus with the snowplows.

7. Willie is our 6th greyhound and last night while I was doing the dishes, he stole an uncooked t-bone steak off of the counter that was waiting to go on the grill. I rescued it, washed and dried it, cut off the chewed on part and had it for dinner. Willie was severely chastised. Things like that don't bother me at all and in fact, our childhood motto was 'a germ a day keeps the doctor away' which might explain why I have such a good immune system.

8. When I was a senior in high school I worked part time as a sales clerk for .75 an hour. That job gave me enough money to leave home and put myself into college.

9. I went to college with George Strait and knew him personally back in the early days of 'George Strait and the Ace in the Hole Band'. That was when they played at Cheatum Street Warehouse in San Marcos every Wednesday which was Ladies Night. He was always a good husband and father and a very shy kind of guy who never fooled around.

10. I am one of the only people I know who stayed on the same career path from the time I was able to answer the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up...a cowgirl and an artist.

Okay! I'm done! Please don't ask me for any more interesting facts because it just took me an hour of sitting and staring into space to come up with these. I've got another post I'm working on which will go up later today.

2009-07-08T21:34:00.000-07:00

Following Doctor's Orders

I had planned on taking the video camera down to the arena tonight to get a little clip of Mike working with Llego and to ask him to take one of me on Mio. Of course I left it sitting on the mounting block up in the tack area.

So this is what you get...be sure to turn your volume up.

2009-07-07T15:54:00.000-07:00

How about a general update?

Yummy cactus blooms.

I just saw my primary care doctor today about a pretty darned intense pain I've had in the left side of my pelvis for about three weeks now. I was pretty sure it was a new set of nerve pains associated with a degenerating disc and vacuum disc syndrome. My acupuncturist is also an RN and felt strongly I should get the opinion of my doctor to see if I should have a pelvic exam.

Country Dancer is back! Starting wave II of her summer bloom-a-thon!

I just had a clean PET/CT scan on April 30th which was six months after one done in November 2008, both looking for distant metastasis in bones and organs and finding none. Two clean PET/CT scans with no changes in eight months, so I really wasn't worried about this new pain being cancer. As a responsible patient though, I made the appointment and went in.

Morning Glory

After talking about it and examining me, he agreed that it is new nerve pain associated probably with the next disc up and since I've already seen a spine specialist, we'll just continue on continuing on. When he asked me what helped, I told him riding my horse and would he mind giving me a prescription for that? He is a horseman himself and got a good laugh and said he would but he didn't think our insurance would go for it.

The lovely shading of Robert Clements.

Now our minds are relieved even if they didn't need to be and since I can pretty much control this pain through meds and 'Aw shoot!', riding, all is good. I've had so many years to practice with chronic sciatic nerve pain on the right side, I imagine I'll get used to pelvic pain on the left side. Learning to deal with neuropathy through my upper body over the last four months makes me a pretty evenly distributed pain package now!

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." - Anonymous

On a sad note...I've waited to write about this till we were absolutely sure and after a month there isn't much doubt, Lio the cat is gone. The last time I saw him he was headed up into the rocks, tailing after Nicodemus. We have had loose dogs roaming around plus it's the time of year that the coyote families are teaching their young to hunt. I'm afraid Lio probably fell victim to one or the other. We miss him and feel very sad about it, especially Coli. Fionna does not miss him.

We really miss you Lio...there were far too many losses this year without adding you to the list.

2009-07-04T14:36:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking again...

I know it's dangerous but sometimes necessary. This post should go up over at Wild Hearts, Willing Spirits and eventually it will be expanded and honed and posted over there along with the one about losing and regaining your confidence with horses. They are both pretty much tied together and until I get them sorted out, you will have the benefit (or boredom) of my musings over here.

This is what the deck looked like on July 6th last year. I'd like to skip that part this year! I think Mike had just brought home the water garden and we were trying to figure out how to set it up on the deck when it was intended to be buried in dirt.

Now why am I sitting here writing this today, Independence Day, when Mike and I had planned to take our horse boys out for their first hike together, to begin the mental part of working on an obstacle course/training trail we are going to build? That's easy...it's pouring down rain! I mean POURING down rain. I think this is probably the third year in a row that my prayers have been answered with soaking rains on People Try to Set the Forest on Fire Day. So here we are, curled up in our recliners with rain coming down and thunder all around us, dogs cozy in their beds, and me typing away.

The thirty acres of land that we don't live on is going to provide a wonderful opportunity to build a trail and obstacle course on it with natural features you would run into in the forest here...including big hairy sheep! In addition to the natural rocks and up and down terrain, we will build a wooden bridge and other things you might need to negotiate on a long ride.

Several people whose blogs I read daily have recently made the hard decision of realizing the horse they have and love, is not really suitable for them (HorseCentric, Laughing Orca Ranch) and that horse should move on to someone else. In one case (The Horseshoeing Housewife), the horse made that decision and seems to feel that running free in the desert is better than partnering with a human, even one with the skill and patience of a saint.

Star and I when he was around six on an endurance conditioning ride in the Santa Cruz mountains.

This all got me thinking about the emotional expectations we tend to put on our horses, myself certainly included there. I had a great horse, Star, who was also a total pain in the ass. That didn't matter and I loved him beyond reason anyway, in spite of the constant opinionated arguments, the airs above the ground just for the joy of it, and the fact that as a gaited horse I could never really ride him with anyone else because his flat walk was six miles per hour. Still, he was my brother in hooves and I loved and respected him for who he was and didn't expect anything more or less from him. In spite of all of his faults and eccentricities, I loved him and was furious with him when he died, much, much too young.

There was a period of time that I lived in northern California and bartered board for myself and Star in exchange for labor. There was a young woman trainer at that barn who taught the lesson program and also took horses in for training. This young woman allowed her emotions to be entirely too involved in what she was doing and it had a big negative impact both on her students and her horses. She measured herself too much in the successes and failures of her students and that is putting way too much pressure on young kids. Riding should be fun for them, not something that makes them a failure in someone else's eyes if they can't get it exactly right.

A child's parents can pull them out of a lesson program and find a better one if that child has stopped experiencing joy in riding. Not so lucky are the horses. This woman had a lovely big thoroughbred who was her own horse. I think his name was Coda (notice I remember the horse’s name and not hers?). He had chronic lameness issues mostly due to his conformation of being short backed and long legged which caused him to constantly overstep with his back legs, shearing the heels off of his front feet. This is something that can be corrected if only the trainer will take the time necessary to create softness and strength in the back so that the horse is capable of what is called in the dressage world 'self carriage'. This means the horse is capable of coming through with his back to lift his front end, along with the weight of the rider, up and out of the way of his back feet.

I don't remember her name and I'm tired of typing 'this woman' so let's just call her Jane (no offense to any Jane's out there who aren't 'this woman'!). Shortly after I moved to that barn, Jane brought her horse in from what had been about a three month pasture turnout to heal from his last injury. Instead of slowly and carefully working on suppling and strengthening him, she went right back to jumping without any conditioning or training time. In a matter of weeks, he was once again going badly and displaying the emotional issues of a horse in constant pain. I was walking between the barn and the house one day when I heard her screaming from the arena, 'You break my heart! You just break my heart!' as he once again pulled a front shoe and sliced his heel off. At that point, crying and in a fury, she pulled his tack, shoved him through the gate to the pasture and hit him with the rope as she yelled that she was going to sell him and would never get on his back again. I thought 'Good. Maybe he'll have a chance now.'

The connection between Mike and Llego has been clear from the first time they met and it has been beautiful to watch. You wouldn't think an untrained BLM mustang would be the ideal horse for the novice rider but in this case, it is. Llego's calm intelligence combined with his complete faith in Mike is the perfect combination.

The point of all of this is that if our happiness lies in believing our horse will somehow 'fix' us, or that in somehow 'fixing' our horse we will find happiness, or success, or recognition, or whatever tag you have attached to riding and having a horse, then everyone eventually gets hurt. The weight of a rider combined with the weight of those kinds of expectations is just too heavy for any horse to carry. Our happiness shouldn't be derived from the horse; it should be shared with the horse. For Jane, her horse had become her image of success and her world with that horse had closed down to where nothing else was acceptable. She couldn't see that she might not be the best rider for him, or that he might not be suited physically or temperamentally to be a jumper. It's all about getting ourselves unstuck from expectations.

Besol was a 'project' horse we saved from a downward spiral due to unintentional riding abuse. He is a sensitive horse with neurotic behaviors who was being over-ridden with an extreme bit by a large novice rider in a saddle that didn't fit. After facing down cancer in 2008, I didn't want to spend years rehabbing Besol, I wanted to enjoy riding and our horses right now. So we found a place for him in a riding program through a rescue we respect. He is doing well, I got Mio, and everyone won in this situation.

I have great respect for the two women who have sadly but wisely come to the conclusion that they and their horses aren't right for each other. This means that everyone gets a new opportunity...the riders to find horses better suited to their skill levels and the kind of riding they want to do, and their horses will get a chance to excel with riders more suited to their personalities and abilities. It's a 'win/win' for everyone because when riding stops being fun for either you or your horse, no one wins.

Me and my dream dressage horse, Cody, in 1984.

I learned this lesson in a very hard way when I was in my early thirties and found my ‘dream’ horse. Cody was this beautiful, tall thoroughbred who had the elegance, strength and purity of gaits to be exactly the dressage horse I wanted. I didn’t even have him a year when he nearly cut his foot off in an accident and though I fought hard to save him, I eventually gave him the mercy of euthanasia. My dream was shattered, or so I thought, until I realized that I didn’t have to have a horse to prove myself by competing with him…I could have a horse just because I love having horses.

From that moment on, everything I felt about horses changed and I began to honor them for who they are as individuals, not who I wanted them to be. I also began to develop a reputation of ‘buy high and give away’ as I would bring a horse into my life, then sell or even give them away when I found exactly the right person who they really belonged with. Sort of a matchmaking service between horse and rider!

Do I still have expectations of my horses all of these years later? Of course I do, but they don’t have much to do with my own identity anymore. I expect my horse to keep me safe and to be fun to ride. Following my own personal taste, I want them to be sensitive to the riding aids and to move freely and well. I want them to be safe on the trails and respectful of my safety and of other horses and riders.

Since I am always the one on the other side of the camera, this may be the only photo I have of me and Mio for a while. That's alright, I really like this one.

I no longer need a giant horse at least 16.2 hands tall who can be successful in the dressage show ring. Nor do I need an exceptionally attractive horse. Color means nothing to me nor does breeding, especially since we fell in love with the characteristics of wild mustangs. What I want is a horse I can relax on and take in the scenery on a trail ride; one that I can head into the arena with to do a little dressage for fun, not competition; a horse that I feel a bond with and with whom I share a joy of companionship.

Pretty Mio has settled himself in well with the rest of the herd and is proving to be exactly the horse I needed at this point in my life.

So far, Mio gives me all of these things plus, he has the added bonus of being pretty which was not something I was shopping for. He also happens to be my favorite shade of dappled bay and that nice blaze and pretty white socks in back were an added surprise. The point is, I wasn’t shopping for looks, I was shopping for a horse who filled my current needs. The only requirements I had besides being well trained for trail riding, safe, and good with other horses, was that he be a gelding, a mustang, and between 15 and 16 hands tall because I am six feet tall. The ‘pretty’ stuff was just the icing on the cake.

None of this has changed how I feel about my grey horse, Griton. I was putting entirely too much pressure on Griton to ‘save me’ from feeling so lost and terrified of cancer last year and this. He tried, but the big butthead is accident prone and has only been sound a few months at a time since we got him four years ago. First he injured his stifles not more than six months into ownership which is still a chronic problem. Then he injured a front foot resulting in abscess after abscess.

Handsome Griton showing off his current soundness up in the rocks headed towards the bluff.

He is currently sound and has been since around March but I never know how long that will last. This spring when I tearfully let go of the idea that he would ever be ‘that horse’ who carried me safely down trails and played with me in the arena, everything changed about our relationship. It is still as strong and close as ever, but the burden of carrying me has been shifted to Mio. And Mio is just plain fun and completely sound. Griton won’t be going anywhere because he is as happy as a sheep loving butthead can possibly be here with his ram, his herd, and us, and he certainly isn’t invested in whether or not he will ever be a riding horse! Since I have released him from that pressure, he has seemed to relax more and has less need to shift his own stress to annoying the other horses. I love that big butthead and would miss him terribly if he weren’t here.

So what was the point of this long, meandering post? Love your horses because they are worthy of love. Be realistic when you choose your horses and don’t be taken in by a pretty face, a pretty color, a breed or a sad story unless you have the experience necessary to change that sad story. Choose the horse that you can be happy with NOW, today, no waiting, get on and ride!

Unless of course you are one of those folks with the experience and the desire to raise and train a youngster, turn a green horse into a finished horse, or save a project horse from going down hill. Just figure out what you are good at, what you want your horse to be good at and grab the one that fits and if you make a mistake, let it go. Find the right home for that horse and start looking again. Eventually you will get it right and then you can ride off into the sunset softly singing…

Just turn me loose, let me straddle my old saddle
Underneath the western skies
On my Cayuse, let me wander over yonder
Till I see the mountains rise.

I want to ride to the ridge where the west commences
gaze at the moon until I lose my senses
I can't look at hobbles and I can't stand fences
Don't..... fence me in!

Lyrics by Ella Fitzgerald ~ Don’t Fence Me In

2009-07-04T05:34:00.000-07:00

Happy Fourth of July!

I'm hoping these are the only fireworks we see up here today. We've got glorious sunrises and tonight we'll have the Milky Way as our favorite fireworks display...how could anything made by us mortals be better than this?

As always with this holiday, we'll be hanging out up here, hoping some idiot with a lighter doesn't set our world on fire. They are kind of promising us a rainy day which is always a blessing for us on holidays connected with fireworks...funny how different our wishes are from most of the rest of the USA!

Morning Glory

Have a great day everyone! Eat too much! Laugh too much! And enjoy life!

2009-07-02T15:03:00.000-07:00

El es Mio!

I haven't had a horse who nickers when he sees me and leaves the herd at a trot to join me since my black horse, Star, died. I think I must have known when the deal went through that this horse was going to be special to me. I walked around saying 'He's mine!' so many times that I named him that. His first owner must have been a good horse person who created a strong bond with Mio, otherwise it would have taken much longer for him to come to this place of choosing to be with me over his herd.

I've been a little off today, headache, body pain etc and I just now noticed that the barometric pressure is going up. After being pitiful and hanging out in the recliner most of the morning, I got myself together, took some drugs and headed out to do some chores like replacing the batteries in the fence chargers. Mio joyfully joined me and followed me from place to place to see what I was doing. When we got over to the water trough, I 'drank' with him and about then Corazon and Llego showed up so we all drank together in a moment of bonding. I know, the water is green. We've been having an algae bloom and I'm slowly getting it under control. I can almost see the fish in there now!

Mike has been working to desensitize Llego to plastic bags and similar noise making items. Llego headed back to the gate with me, walking beside me with his nose touching the grocery bag filled with dead batteries. He just knew there would be a treat in it for him!

Mike has been working under the deck clearing out sand that has accumulated under there from runoff. This is step one in getting ready to pour the concrete foundations for putting in flooring and generally finishing things off under there. Willie was convinced Mike was digging out that nice, damp, cool space just for him.

'You wouldn't really shovel me up, would you?'

'I guess you would.'

'Sigh...the things I have to put up with.'

Temporary kitty abatement plan. I'm covering the pool with netting at night plus the scat mat is armed and in front of it.

Not the greatest photos yet, but this is the plainer of the two shubunkins. The bright orange feisty one is still hiding out.

Our cute little busy body fantail.

Now doesn't this make you think of hot summers as a kid, raiding your grandmother's garden for ripe tomatoes warm from the sun? Soak it up and let the joy come in!

2009-06-30T17:55:00.000-07:00

Sheep Update & More

Another bit of glory in the morning.

The other evening an older man found his way up here, not an easy thing to do, looking for the sheep. They don't belong to him but to a friend he was helping out by seeing if he could locate them. It turns out they are supposed to be living in a pen the other side of the first ridge to the north of us. Unfortunately, the man who is supposed to be caring for them had a stroke several years ago and isn't managing those things too well.

A lovely cactus bloom. Doesn't it look like it's made of jelly?

This man told Mike that Umber, the ram, is actually quite elderly and probably won't be with us too much longer. I commented this evening about how sad that would be for Griton but still I hope Umber gets to live out his life up here, free and happy with his equine buddy.

Sweet Happy Child

When I went back and looked at that group of photos I took the other day, I could see how gray Umber's old muzzle is. Since Lilly and Sienna have no interest in the horses, and Umber only has eyes for Griton, and likewise Griton is only interested in Umber, this odd relationship doesn't appear to be a 'sheep' thing but truly a bond between two very different beings. I said if we start catching them sleeping together, maybe we should worry.

Lovely Louise Clements

But back to the visitor. Since we don't mind having the sheep here and with mountain terrain like ours, he didn't seem to think that anyone would be interested enough to come up here and try to capture an old ram and a couple of ewes and it sure wouldn't be easy to herd them out. So for the time being, the sheep are legally here. Yay! Who could ever want to break up a romance like this, especially now that we know one of the parties is an elderly ram?

Such a touching photo of two very different beings who have grown quite attached to each other.

I know, everyone has said they love the rose photos but there are many, many other things beginning to bloom in the garden now. I will have something besides roses to show for it soon and some of those flowers will be pretty amazing. Plus, the last and most favorite of my rose bushes, Deep Secret, has finally made buds and I will be blessed with it's beauty and fragrance again soon. Deep Secret is a hybrid tea rose and it had a rough go of getting through the winter which is why it is so far behind the others. The scent of this rose is so strong that you can catch the fragrance of even the earliest bud from ten or more feet away. You will love this rose!

Robert Clements with its glossy polished leaves.

We brought home three new fish today...two shubunkin goldfish and one tiny little calico fantail. I knew the fantail probably wasn't a good idea but I couldn't resist! One shubunkin is very colorful and was also the most aggressive fish in the tank ~ good survival skills. The other one we chose doesn't have much coloring but looked to be very healthy. And last was the busy body little fantail that was into everything. They are currently hiding in the rock labyrinth with a netted kitty snack abatement system over the pond. Hopefully tomorrow they will feel secure enough for photos.

I truly love these columbines...

And lastly for what turned out to be a very busy day, I have a great new haircut and it wasn't done by Griton. ;) I went from waist length curly red hair when Mike and I met in 2000, to hair that has gradually gotten shorter each year and is now a just above my shoulders, naturally curly cut that I absolutely love. Maybe in the next day or so I'll feel secure enough to take some photos along with the fish.

and I love their oddly graceful seed pods just as much.

It's been a long day. I may be great at living in solitude up on the mountain with the animals...not so great at being around a lot of people in town on a long errand day. I think I'll head up to bed.

2009-06-29T11:14:00.000-07:00

Butthead Soulmate Indeed!

'Hey Dude! How ya been?'

'What's that? You want me to work on that hair again?'

'Let's work on the top here a little.'

'How about a little off the side too.'

'And a little off here under the chin.'

'Hey! I've got an idea for this top knot.'

'Just a little bit more.'

'Dude. You really need to try a little shampoo once in a while.'

'So what do you think, Carmon?'

'I love you man!'

'And I love my new do!'

'Oh Pops...you make me embarrassed to be a sheep.'

(I took at least twenty more photos as this love fest was going on. It was very hard to choose which ones to publish!)

2009-06-28T06:32:00.000-07:00

In Memory of One Spot & Two Spots

I dreamed of sparkling fish in a pond
And of you both, I had grown very fond

I coaxed you out from under rocks with food
To lift a sometimes droopy mood

I wanted to see you grow very large
Providing entertainment without any charge

Instead you became a menu item at the deli
To wind up in a grey kitty's belly

By Carmon 06/28/09

Yes, I'm afraid it's true. I hadn't seen our cute koi for several days and thought it was due to the frequent storms we have been having. I didn't worry overly because I never saw them the entire first two weeks they were here. Lately though, I have been so pleased that they would come out while I sat on the deck enjoying my morning coffee.

Yesterday, I finally became worried enough to take apart the entire rock cave system and there were no fish to be found. We can only assume that Nicodemus was the culprit since he is our only cat who has the patience to stalk a fish in a pond, and who eats everything he catches. Just the other day I found a pile of feathers and two wings which was all that was left of a large bird he had caught.

The other possibility is that a magpie, jay or raven caught them. It is most likely that we would have noticed birds that large right outside the door since they would have had to sit in wait on the rocks. Not something a bird is likely to do, but certainly something a patient and committed cat would accomplish.

I will replace them but with a wiser approach. I rebuilt the labyrinth to provide more, faster and easier hiding. We'll put the kitty scat mat out at night and I'll create some kind of netted cover to go over the pond at night and when we are gone.

I miss you little fishies!

2009-06-27T06:01:00.000-07:00

Another glorious day in paradise!

Oh my do I ever love the summers here...and the winters...and don't forget the springs and falls; but mostly, I love the summers, at least when I'm in them. In December, I will probably tell you I love the winters best but that's another story.

Sheer Bliss ~ just about exactly the way I feel watching the sun come up this morning.

I mean, what's not to love besides the horseflies, which the horses and I both hate? I get up every morning to the most heart lifting sunrises and even if I miss the colorful part, there is this light everywhere! It takes my breath away. I stand on the deck that Mike built, surrounded by the plants and flowers I have grown and nourished, breathing in their scents and colors and shapes all flooded by that glorious light. I wish I knew how to capture that luminous glow that shrouds everything and if I did, you can bet every single post would be filled with those photos. Balm for the hearts of those who must live in cities surrounded by concrete and people.

This was me yesterday...a prickly pear waiting to bloom.

Yesterday I was a cranky, pissy person. If I weren't nine years past menopause, I would have blamed it on PMS. I think what is really going on is these neuropathy nerve pain levels have been skyrocketing lately due to the weather and my body has become quite a good storm predictor. We have one of those great little digital weather stations that tells you everything from temps to humidity to wind speed to barometric pressure. It even tells you wind chill and heat index! If the nerve sensation starts jacking up, I can check the weather station and sure enough, the barometric pressure is climbing and pretty soon, a storm moves in. Hmmmmm...I bet I'm a lot more accurate than the weather guys in Albuquerque.

The sweet, tender bud of Louise Clements.

Since we are officially in monsoon season, my pain levels have been shooting up and down for days now and it's wearing on me more than a little bit. I'm so accustomed to chronic back pain that I hardly notice that anymore unless it's been really bad for a few days; but this nerve pain/sensation is something you can't dismiss to some remote part of your awareness. It's like being hooked up to a constant electric current that builds up in my chest and shoots out my hands. Sometimes my hands get so hot and prickly I feel like I could burn something with them. Yes, I'm taking my meds and not resisting them but if I increase them, I get really stupid and spend my time sleeping. That's just not me!

Drowsy, shy Louise as she seduces you with sweet fragrance.

So I have figured out most of what the neuropathy triggers are, besides a climb in barometric pressure ~ allowing myself to get too tired, spicy foods, and alcohol. I've been pretty good about the tired part and even take a nap most afternoons which is something I have never done before. I haven't been much of an alcohol drinker for years but occasionally I like a frosty cold beer or a glass of wine with a meal. These days, the after effect of either of those is just not worth the oral pleasure. And spicy foods. I love spicy foods and so does Mike and that one I usually tough out the side effects from. Unfortunately, another result of all of these surgeries is I have lost my sense of taste for 'spicy' unless it's really spicy. My acupuncturist has been working on that but unlike my sense of smell, it still hasn't come back.

Robust Robert Clements stands tall with glossy dark maroon and green leaves that look as if they have been polished.

I've been experimenting with microwave brittle candy and having a lot of fun with it. Last night I made chocolate, chili almond brittle and I have to say it is pretty darned yummy! Unfortunately, I couldn't taste the chili at all. I asked Mike if he could taste it and he said he could. Darn!

A rain soaked Robert looks for the sun.

But anyway. Today is a whole new day and even though I'm sitting here waiting for the tramodal to kick in because the neuropathy always starts about a half hour after I get up, I am in love with this morning and yesterday's crankiness has all but vanished. The only thing that still has me irritated with this weather is that once I started getting up on Mio, the riding bug set in big time. I have resented the last three days of storms, even though I have not given a single thought to forest fires because of them, since it has meant I can't get up on that sweet boy. I'm sure Mike is feeling the same way because he has been making wonderful progress with Llego too and I can't wait to get him up on Lego's back!

Wait a minute! That isn't a rose, it's lavender and this post is sort of about roses! That's alright, I love lavender almost as much as I love roses.

And now to roses...I've been asking myself why it is that I love them so much and put all of that time and effort into keeping them thriving. My mother loved house plants but her special infatuation was with African violets. I think they are pretty but somehow bland at the same time. She never really got into growing a garden and I've wondered about that because she certainly had a way with plants. In retrospect, I think it was because of being a military wife. Why plant a garden when you never know when you will get the order to pack up and move? The only thing that is keeping me from having a bigger garden right now is the current need to carry water to it every day.

Back to roses. I love them because each plant seems to have its own character and personality. Each one wants its environment to be just a little different and if you nurture all of those needs, they gift you with stunning blooms that are enchanting in each phase of growth. Tender buds that slowly reveal their color. Petals that open and change color almost by the hour as they expand. Big, droopy full blown blooms that tip their heads as they release their seductive scents. And finally, dropped petals that I gather and dry so that I can look and smell and remember how beautiful summer was when there are feet of snow outside and the roses sleep and dream about spring. I just love them. Isn't that enough?

(I know, I've already broken my 'three rose photos' rule but this post is about roses, at least on the surface. Why the rule? In respect for readers who are on dialup and probably get tired of waiting for an endless stream of rose photos to download.)

2009-06-26T16:05:00.000-07:00

It's...it's...it's...Fun Foto Friday again!

The reason I adore 5:30 in the morning is this...

becomes this...

and finally this. How can you not see Glory in such a morning sky?

Umber is such a handsome beast, no wonder the boys are all infatuated with him.

I promised myself I would make three the limit of rose photos in any one post. This is what you are getting ~

Happy Child

Robert Clements

Louise Clements being ever so coy with her new bud.

2009-06-25T06:35:00.000-07:00

It was a forbidden love that led them to a clandestine meeting in a hidden forest glade one rainy afternoon...

I have the weirdest horse.

2009-06-24T05:55:00.000-07:00

Just Another Sheep Tale

May I say again just how much I love sitting out on the deck, coffee on the table, sun coming up and the scents of roses, lavender and the other flowers and herbs all around me? And there isn't another sound to be heard other than the water trickling in the little fish pond, birds, the horses scuffling and playing down below, and Fionna whining that she needs pets. Life is good.

'Oh where, oh where has my little ram gone...'

But anyway, I was going to talk about those pesky sheep again! A few evenings ago as Mike and I were coming back from some errands, we spotted the sheep grazing on a different neighbor's property down near the road. They were grazing steadily towards said neighbor's lush, raised bed gardens. I was sincerely hoping the sheep were staying up on the mountain out of sight but I guess they are feeling pretty secure these days. The next morning I heard screams of 'Get out! Get out! Get out!' coming up from the valley below and figured their wild days might be numbered. That's another neighbor who would call the brand inspector about them.

'There you are!'

Then Monday afternoon as I was coming back from my appointment, there they were, happily browsing in our orchard, right where I've wanted them to be all along. And they seem to be integrating in with the horses very successfully. Griton and the ram, now named Umber, have an odd infatuation with each other. They are constantly seeking each other out and I cried that I didn't have a camera with me when at the evening feeding, Griton and Umber began play sparring with each other. Umber did one of those leaping, twisting, horn tossing moves that only a sheep or goat can manage. It was more than amazing and I've been taking my little video camera with me ever since in hopes of a replay. In fact, I can see them down in the orchard right now.

'Here, let me give you a little head rub.'

I have to admit it's a little intimidating to have a large ram come tearing down towards you while you feed your horses, then stand no more than six feet away eyeing you. I've been on the receiving end of a ram's horns in the past and it isn't pretty. But sheep and goats do this same odd little head cock, eyes dilated, and a strange demented look comes over them just before they are about to butt. If you know to watch for that and keep something near you can duck behind, like a tree, or a horse, then you're fine.

'How about if I get rid of some of that wool for you by taking a little off the top?'

Something else I've been mulling through in my head and that will eventually wind up over at Wild Hearts, Willing Spirits as a complete post, is losing your confidence. When I started riding again a few weeks ago, I discovered that in spite of more than fifty years of riding, some of it extreme endurance, a lot of it training young, green horses, showing in dressage, teaching, etc., I have lost a lot of my confidence. It isn't about riding itself, it's about the accidents, surgeries and terrors of the last two years that have somehow manifested in this one beloved area of my life. I've been through this sort of thing a number of times before, like after I started riding again following a fall that broke my back; but this time there wasn't any obvious reason and it took me a bit to put it all together.

You didn't think you were going to get away without another stroll through the rose garden, did you? This is the lovely Louise Clements.

I was talking to a friend and student about it and saying how I would address it in our next lesson because they need to know that even a very experienced horse person can become afraid and it's alright. There should be no shame attached to it because it happens to everyone at some point or another, and if they tell me about it, then we can work together to get through it. The big thing is to not push yourself and to do what you are comfortable with and build back from there.

And who could resist Happy Child, an English rose?

Carolyn told me that when she watched me ride out and stay on a massive panic attack that Besol had when we went out on a ride together in May 2008, which left me hanging in mid-air in several directions, she figured that would have been the end of getting back on that horse, at least for her. She was impressed that I continued to ride him and didn't seem concerned about it and I explained to her that particular situation for me was a huge pat on the back. It reminded me that even at 55, my reflexes and my body know exactly how to keep me in the middle of the horse no matter what it's doing, and years of training give my body the knowledge of what to do in those situations to bring a horse back into control. That particular 'madness of the horse' was actually a confidence booster. Cancer is just a little bit different.

Just beginning to open is Robert Clements.

So if anyone out there is feeling shame or embarrassment about feeling fear around your horse or around riding, you aren't alone. It happens to everyone and you will get through it. Yesterday as I was working with Mio down in the arena, the sheep came through the fence up near the gate where the horses hang out in the afternoon. This was an excuse for the whole herd, sheep and all to come running and bucking down to the arena. My immediate response was that instant of panic over how Mio would react and would I suddenly find myself riding a bucking runaway. No, he just stood there calmly watching the antics, completely clear that he had a rider on his back and that kind of behavior wasn't allowed.

And the one I can't ever seem to get enough of, Country Dancer.

Later that evening Mike and I took Llego down together because we are working on desensitizing him to the odd noises that scare him. The other horses were happily eating their hay and no sooner did we get Llego through the gate when Mio came tearing down at a gallop to see why he wasn't getting to work again too! I loved it so much that as we worked with Llego, I kept pulling up stray grass clumps growing in there and feeding him through the fence. Now that makes you feel loved and cared for by your horse, that he would leave his food to come follow you around an arena! Life is indeed...very good.

PS ~ I really appreciate the words of support and encouragment I've received from both the comments and in private emails. Everyone hits 'ain't got nothin' to say' stretches and I would never actually stop posting...where else would I put all of the photos I love?

2009-06-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

Changing Voices

Sheer Bliss

I can remember being in Colorado I think it was, maybe Pagosa Springs, with Mike at an art event just a few years ago. We were listening to NPR and it was an interview with someone about blogs and vlogs. I had to ask Mike just what the heck that was and when he explained it to me, I kind of thought it was a little silly and vain. At the same time, I was surprised that with all of the marketing and networking I did constantly online to promote and support Black Horse Design, I hadn't heard of this online diary business.

It stuck in the back of my head somewhere but I didn't put too much thought into it because that was one of the years Black Horse Design was struggling to stay afloat. By anyone's standards, Mike and I were very successful as jewelry designers. For a two person operation where we did everything ourselves except for the actual rough casting, no one could say we weren't successful. In the good years, our gross would just kiss the edge of six figures and I always had the goal of rolling over that edge someday. Even our bad years were better than most other people we knew with a similar home business.

Country Dancer...again

The problem was that Black Horse Design was always dependant on the state of the economy. If we had taken the route of many others and focused on high end, one of a kind items, the economy wouldn't have effected us as much. What had always been important to us though was that our jewelry was accessible to people like us. Unfortunately, we are the people who feel the ups and downs of the economy the most. I remember one year, shortly after the war with Iraq began, when at every event long-time customers would come up to say hello and tell us they couldn't shop that year because they had been laid off and looking for work for three months, six months, a year. Those were the years that were crushingly difficult for us.

Willie got his own new jammies so he doesn't have to wear hand-me-downs from the girls.

We went from a steady upward growth curve to a pretty dramatic decline. We stopped being able to cast ahead for events and the income from each art show paid for the last casting run, not the next one. No matter how hard we struggled, each event left us farther behind and eventually, creditors began calling. And calling. And calling. Five years ago I went into a Consumer Credit Counseling program and at least that aspect of things began to lighten up.

The toll on both of us was hugh. We constantly struggled to stay ahead, hoping that the next art show, the next event would get us caught back up again. It hurt our relationship and our marriage and certainly my health. Paying the bills and keeping everyone fed was a constant battle and in Mike's case, he was not only trying to keep up with the travel and grueling production work of Black Horse Design, he was also doing the heavy physical labor of maintaining this place, and watching all progress on building our home come to a complete halt due to exhaustion and lack of finances. When we first began doing this together, he had dreams of doing his own design work as well as metal sculpture. The pieces he did were magnificent, like the sculpture that I am often asked about that appears in photos of the deck; but that also got pushed aside for survival.

Louise Clements Rose

It was a huge personal sacrifice for Mike to let go of Black Horse Design and go back into an industry he knew would place an extreme burden on him physically and emotionally, and take him away from home for long periods of time. Part of our dream in coming here to New Mexico was that neither of us would ever have to work for someone else again. Dreams don't always work out the way you hope and letting go of the idea that we could thrive and someday retire on Black Horse Design was a hard one for both of us.

So here we are, three years and three months since Mike allowed himself to be recruited back into the oil and gas industry as a Directional Driller. Last month we made the final payment on that Consumer Credit Counseling account. Several other balances that were once in the five figure range will be paid off in the next month or so. Instead of driving an old beat up and unreliable Chevy truck, I have a beautiful Toyota and Mike has the 'guy dream truck', an enormous Dodge diesel that will pull anything we could ever need pulled. And, I have a beautiful new horse trailer to haul our beautiful horses in.

Griton, watching the sheep.

For the first time in years we have been able to make progress on our home. We have an all weather road that we never dreamed of being able to afford before. Our land has expanded from four acres, to nine acres, to thirty-four acres. And we have an arena to work the horses in. All of this has come from the huge sacrifice that Mike made of being away from home for extended periods of time, working a job that is so high stress very few people can manage it. He not only manages it, he excels at it. And he has a plan to see all of our debts gone, a home built, and retirement for both of us.

And now we are back to why I titled this entry 'Changing Voices'. I've watched other people's blogs grow and change and sometimes stop entirely as life situations have altered. I've even thought of bringing this one to an end myself a few times. There are blogs that I've liked even more as they evolved and others I gradually lost contact with as what we had in common faded, or they no longer held my interest.

I started this particular blog in December of 2005 as a way for Mike to keep up with what was going on here at home while he was gone. The idea was a melding of listening to that interview about blogs and remembering how when we first met, I would send Mike emails every single day about what I was doing and what was going on at home. In that first year, Mike might be sent off shore for five weeks at a time and back then, we had no communication at all during those off shore trips. No cell phone connection, no email. But I wrote those daily emails anyway so that when he got back on solid ground, he would know that I thought about him every single day.

Sweet Rolly Polly Coli

In the beginning, I had a lot to write about and I think my writing was more creative. As I began to adjust to being alone so much of the time, and still trying to keep Black Horse Design alive, my writing began to be more about the day to day struggles, especially that first winter where I was mostly alone and we had record setting snowfalls. Gradually, I began to write as much for myself as for Mike and then of course, there was last year's cancer diagnosis. This blog was an incredible tool for assisting me in working through the fear of that diagnosis. As things came up in counseling, I wrote about them here and peeled back even more layers. If you talk to people with cancer, many of them will say they are grateful for what they learned from it. I would be one of those. There have been many very old wounds from my childhood that have been uncovered and healed and there is this new commitment of always focusing on what is really important.

And so my voice has become different and I am not the same person who started this blog. My life has changed completely since December 2005 ~ I have, so far, survived a notoriously deadly cancer and I no longer have Black Horse Design to drag me to the ground. I think I have been 'treading water' so to speak, for the last month or so as the surgeries have come to an end and so far, the followup reports have been good. I'm settling into this new place of survival and keeping our home life sweet instead of spending every moment and every ounce of energy on a struggling business pulling me down every day. I think that soon I will have new things to say as I take in the sweetness of life I haven't noticed in a while. In between, I will have the same little babble of what is happening in the garden...what the dogs are doing...studies with the horses...but there are things that are brewing somewhere back there in my consciousness. I'll let you know as they surface.

2009-06-19T18:29:00.000-07:00

Hey! It's Fun Foto Friday again!

A Covy of Columbines

Columbine seed pods are just as alien looking as the blossoms.

'Blaze' climbing rose. Not my favorite due to its lack of scent, but a prolific bloomer every year.

Squash blossom and a just beginning baby squash.

Prickley pear growth spurt.

Spider on Marigolds

Coli got a new toy!

'Cut it out! I'm watching the sheep!'

2009-06-17T09:25:00.000-07:00

Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won't you come out to play
with thanks to The Beatles

I watched Across the Universe for oh, maybe the fifth time the other day and 'Dear Prudence' is still pleasantly running through my head. Somehow it just seemed to fit such a beautiful, soft morning as I sat on the deck, drinking coffee and watching the world slowly become light as the sun rose in a cloudless blue sky.

Have you gotten...

So let's talk about Monsoon Season which officially started two days ago. Here in the desert southwest, we have a rainy season that lasts from mid-June through September. If all goes well and we actually have a Monsoon Season, then the part of the year that is hottest for most folks is deliciously cool for us.

tired of seeing...

The pattern is something like this...we get up to crystal clear and intensely blue skies and you feel like you have found your way to heaven on earth. Between noon and around two in the afternoon, just when the heat of the day is building, thunderclouds will begin forming above the peaks along with the sound of distant thunder. As the storm moves in, the temps will drop by as much as twenty degrees as the altitude chilled clouds begin to drop their rain.

this rose yet? I feel like I'm wearing its petals out from constantly sticking my nose into it to smell its delicious fragrance.

Unfortunately, that rise above high peaks often turns rain into hail as well and more than once I've lost my entire garden to six inches of hail dropped in less than an hour. We heard on the news Saturday that some parts of New Mexico had baseball sized hail and I was grateful we only had rain. Generally, the storms only last two to three hours before they move on to somewhere else, giving you back clear blue skies. As the light fades in the evenings, we are blessed once more with cool damp air and nights that are perfect for sleeping under a canopy of stars so thick in the rain cleared skies that looking up into them often gives me a sense of vertigo.

Wild Mullen which is treated as a noxious weed here and in other places is grown and sold for its medicinal properties. There is a lovely Native American legend about the mullen plant ~ The Great Spirit of the Native People lived at the top of a high tree whose branches reached to the heavens. No human person could attain such a height and so a wood spirit, disguised as a beautiful maiden, took pity upon the Native People and fashioned a ladder from wild grape vines which she fastened it to a star. To keep the Great Spirit from being disturbed, the wood spirit covered the steps of the ladder with the velvety soft leaves of the Mullen plant. In this way she noiselessly climbed up and down her ladder to the heavens, carrying up the prayers of the Native People and returning with the responses of the Great Spirit.

So if Monsoon Season officially started on the 15th, then what do we call all of this moisture that has been falling since April? It looks like monsoon rain. It smells like monsoon rain. It acts like monsoon rain. I guess we'll have to call it the Non-soon Season.

Taking over the role of Belly Poser is a hard job; but Coli is clearly up to it.

On another note, I picked Mike up at the airport at nine in the evening on Monday. He was exhausted from the month spent working in Mexico and the three hour drive home was hard on us both. Mike and Willie hit it off immediately so all is well in that part of the household and Coli did indeed, almost wag her tail completely off. After spending most of yesterday sleeping in an effort to catch up on fatigue, he is feeling just a bit more alive today. As for me, I can feel a nap coming on myself.

Oh! I almost forgot that Hillybillyfarmgirl gave me the Kreativ Blogger award!

The rules are that I am suppose to tell you seven interesting things about myself and pass this award on to seven other bloggers. Well, I'm sort of into breaking the rules so while I will come up with the seven things about myself, I probably won't tag a total of seven other blogs. The ones I do tag will be a surprise even to me until I get to the bottom of this post!

1. I once successfully parallel parked a four horse gooseneck trailer on a city street in California.

2. I used to be a HOT item on the country western music dance floors.

3. When I was in the seventh grade, I was nearly six feet tall and weighed 120 pounds after spending six months growing from an average sized twelve year old to my final adult height.

4. I started making all of my own clothes when I was a junior in high school and paid for part of my college by working as a seamstress for the music and drama departments at the university I attended.

5. Drawing horses was what introduced me to art at the age of four and from then on when asked, I told people I wanted to be a cowgirl and an artist when I grew up.

6. My black horse, Star, and I spent several years working with Shoshone medicine people and I still sometimes, privately, secretly, do healing work with horses when asked.

7. I asked that Mike get that same black horse's blessing before I would marry him. Mike agreed and Star approved.

Now, who to pass this on to!

Ever since I discovered her blog, I have been an admirer of Alison's photography, writing, and amazingly generous spirit. I don't think she is very interested in awards so I am giving her this one mostly because she deserves it, and also to send people to her site in hopes that they will find a way to help a family that recently experienced a profound loss.

Inspired Work of Self-Indulgence

Robin often makes me laugh and even more often, think. We have become friends away from her blog and she gave me many words of comfort and support during the last year.

The Dreamtime

Tamara of In the Night Farm writes beautifully about her horses and her passion for endurance riding, with an added bonus of gorgeous photos...oh my!

The Barb Wire

And then there is the much admired Mikey, the woman who juggles more hats than I have hooks for and still manages to publish an always entertaining blog.

The Horseshoeing Housewife

I could go on and on as I look at my list of blogs that I check in on every day; but this is enough for now. I'll save my other favorties for the next award I receive!

2009-06-15T06:00:00.001-07:00

It's a good day today, one of the best.

A beautiful morning has arrived after some pretty severe thunderstorms last night, and the Wild Boys are in fine form in the cool, damp air. The dogs and I went out to watch at the fence line and you'll have to take my word for it because the light wasn't strong enough yet for photos. Too, sometimes I like to just enjoy their exuberance without a camera in front of my face. I love seeing their sleek athletic bodies as they gallop across the steep grades. There they are, formerly wild mustangs living happily with us and each other on this mountain and expressing their own joy about that. Many years ago, before my last and most debilitating back injury, I would have been out there running with them, at least as much as I could. Even the domestic horses I've had seemed to understand my puny little two-leggedness and would run carefully around me, allowing me to join in the fun as much as possible.

Corazon & Llego

In this year of recovery, I am doing my best to enjoy and appreciate every moment that is presented to me and those Wild Boys make that pretty easy. When you get a cancer diagnosis, especially for something as malignant and devious as melanoma is, that elephant in the room never quite leaves. You might push it back into a corner; but it is still there, always making its presence known in some dark place of your thoughts. I hate to say that it took cancer to get me back to a place of centeredness and multiple surgeries to become quiet in my own mind again; but it has.

I've been slowly realizing that my body is healing, even though I still get hit with neuropathy pain soon after I get up and taking that first tramadol has become part of my morning ritual. It seems like such a small thing though, taking a pretty low impact drug to be able to touch our horses, work in the garden, and soon, greet my husband with joy instead of pain.

Country Dancer Iowa Hardy rose

As I have said, my sense of smell is coming back and I cherish these first roses and soon, lavender will be filling the air on the deck with it's own unique perfume. I love to run my hands through the various aromatic herbs I grow, then them hold to my face and breathe in deeply. I've overdone it a bit on the garden this year since so much water has to be carried to it; yet it is so worth every step made with a watering can in my hands to see things green and growing and blooming around me.

On Friday, friends who are also students came for lunch and it was not only a joy to share our house and the beauty of the garden with them, we talked about goals with our horses and what we would like to achieve this summer. How about that? I'm thinking in terms of goals with horses again instead of the narrow focus of getting through the next surgery, the next set of scans and exams.

The other day, as I was carrying two buckets of water for the sheep up a steep grade at nearly 8,000' of altitude, I realized I wasn't out of breath. My lungs are back, something that has proven to be a casualty after each general anesthesia surgery, and so is my strength. My left arm still gets very sore and I have some lymph swelling at night after a strenuous day, but I'm almost there again.

El es Mio

I've been working a little bit with Mio every day that I can, every day that isn't storming or the wind blowing too hard to stand up against. He is sweet and patient with me, though I can tell he is eager to do more. When you have been a rider like I was, a hell raiser from an early age for whom no horse or situation was too much, it's hard to accept that my confidence has been a little rattled over the last two years. It will be back though. Mio is the sort of horse you can trust your life to and who will treat that responsibility with care.

Coli & Duffy

So appreciate this day, whoever out there might be reading this. Treat it as if it is the only one you have. And on that same thought, please visit Alison's Inspired Work of Self Indulgence to see if you might be able to help another family that has been given a heavy blow from cancer.

2009-06-14T06:46:00.000-07:00

Sheep on the lam.

Lilly, the escaped criminal.

Get it?!? But it's true in a way. These sheep don't belong to me and really, I'm just providing them with a hide out. Technically I'm not doing anything illegal as they are free to come and go as they please; I'm just making the 'come' part much more appealing than the 'go' part. If I were following the law, I would be notifying the brand inspector so he could find their owners and ask them to collect them. I don't want that and their owners don't deserve it!

I've grown very fond of these sheep and want them to stay through the winter and beyond. They are coming in every day now to get water and eat the scrap hay I put out. Last night they bedded down just above the yurt for which I was glad because the coyotes are out at night now, beginning the process of teaching this year's pups to hunt. I could hear them singing all across the mountain. Unfortunately, the sheep were grazing on our neighbor to the south's land this morning and he would call the brand inspector.

What sheep? That's just some trash someone dumped up on the slope.

Lilly took her little flock on a grand tour of the property which was pretty amusing to watch. She looked just like a new home owner checking out the amenities! I was really hoping they would duck under the orchard fence and help me to start cleaning up in there. They wandered around within ten feet of where the horses were eating their hay so I'm betting by winter they will come right in to eat which will save me some work. Hopefully, one of these days they will start going over to the water trough so I don't have to carry water for them.

Sienna, that would be my expression too if my parents looked like heaps of filthy wool.

Tomorrow evening I will be picking Mike up at the airport after a month of working in Mexico. The living conditions and other things are not at all great down there and I know he is going to be very, very happy to sleep in his own bed tomorrow night. Certainly one little black pudgy dog will be wagging her busy little tail off when she sees him!

Speaking of Coli, she has a booboo. She woke me up last night around midnight giving these long, drawn out and sad little whines. I couldn't find anything wrong with her and she happily ate cookies and refused to go outside. When I finally made all of the dogs come outside with me, I saw she didn't want to put weight on her right hind foot. Because of how she was acting and that I couldn't find any injury, I assumed she had been stung or bitten by something and gave her some rimidyl. When that didn't work, I also gave her half a tramadol which I knew was safe from Ellie's illness. Then I got her up on the couch with me and dozed with her until the meds kicked in.

This morning in the light of day, and because it started bleeding, I saw that she had fractured a toenail vertically all the way up to the quick. Now she is a pitiful little pup with a big purple bandage. Have you ever seen anything sadder?

'Coli! Wanna play?' 'No.'

2009-06-13T07:53:00.001-07:00

Can't you just smell it?

Well I can! Country Dancer is my first big rose to begin blooming and even this soon, it has a delicious crisp, sweet citrus fragrance. Why am I so excited about this? My sense of smell has been a casualty of every single general anesthesia surgery I've had and with so many so close together in an eight month period, I was afraid it would never come back. A few weeks ago I began to smell the not so pleasant things...dog farts were high on that list. Then I could smell the rain last week and now I can smell the sweetness of my roses. Every rose has been selected partly for hardiness and mostly for fragrance so not being able to smell a single one of them last year was definitely sad. And oh my, this one bud is just the beginning because every single bush is full of buds!

Another odd casualty, which I hope doesn't return, is that I have lost my sensitivity to spicey foods. Not the flavor, just the heat and that is kind of nice.

Mike doesn't know this yet (Oops! I guess he does now!) but I moved this little granite topped table out on to the deck. It's lovely there. All that is missing now are the deck chairs which I haven't quite gotten around to restringing yet.

Table meets the critical standards of kitty and puppy approval.

And look what else I can do now! With little Pinky, I can bundle up and take my coffee out on the deck to watch the sun come up and read and answer emails. Of course, since most morning are still in the low 40s, bundle up is the definitive word here.

2009-06-10T16:57:00.000-07:00

One of those days...

It started out really nice with a soft rain falling on the deck garden. I was even grateful that I wouldn't have to carry water up to the plants today. Somehow it all seemed to kind of go downhill from there...

For some reason, all of the dogs decided to try my nerves to the breaking point with thieving, skirmishes, excessive energy and barking all day. Then the horses joined in with a high play level triggered by the cool, wet weather that apparently wasn't worth containing, not even for breakfast or dinner.

Then I took care of one of my least favorite chores by taking down all of the full and wretchedly stinking fly traps to take to the dump along with the other trash. I hate that smelly job and did it today because it was too cool for flies to be moving.

A brief highlight was that I finished cleaning the entire refrigerator, inside and out. I even went MWD and threw away everything beyond its expiration date or that had been in there longer than a year. (Mike will understand the MWD reference and I'm talking about old corn meal that had taken on fridge smell.) I keep finding excuses to open the door and admiring my work.

Then a few irritating phone calls followed by the dogs going back into major barking mode when the sheep came in for the night. I love Duffy but he just isn't very smart and he also has a Distance Discipline Disorder~ if you are more than twenty feet away, you don't exist. I'm tired of hearing dogs bark today.

That was about the time I discovered my little Canon camera wasn't working any more.

But hey! The day is over. I'm sitting quietly typing and the dogs have finally shut up and settled down. The sheep are home for the night. The horses are fed. I have some nice broccoli and baked chicken to eat. The wind is blowing and it's raining lightly again, and we are all warm, dry and safe inside. I know for a fact that Willie isn't complaining.

2009-06-09T11:08:00.000-07:00

Look who's back!

Lilly seems to be slowly rebuilding her flock and this morning she proudly returned with her big boyfriend and displayed him to me, the dogs and the horses. I'm beginning to think they might have been scattered by dogs or some other predator and have spent all of these weeks finding each other again. Mike and I are still working on a name for him and I'll post it when we have settled on something. In the meantime, here is a little photo story (it was a little overcast this morning and the focus isn't great on some of these but it's the best I could do and not disturb them) ~

The happy little family has finally been reunited.

'Look! Sheep!'

'Did you say sheep?'

'So where have you been all of this time?'

I noticed that just like with a wild horse herd where there is usually a lead mare that makes the daily decisions of where to go and when, Lilly seems to be the one actually in charge here.

And Mr Ram is left trotting to keep up with Lilly's agenda.

2009-06-07T15:49:00.000-07:00

Me and my Mio!

Quick updates, flower photos and a new post at Wild Hearts, Willing Spirits!

Don't we look great together? And check out my lovely new outdoor wardrobe...covered from head to fingers to toes. (Yes, my chin strap wasn't fastened, I was too excited!)

As another part of changing my past history with June, I decided that today was the day to not worry about the weather, the wind, or whatever project was waiting and just get on my horse! A neighbor came over to be my ground spotter because Mio is a new horse I've never been on before and, well, it seemed like the smart thing to do considering my experiences of the last year or so. He was perfect, wonderful and I'm so happy!

Ahhhh! This is where I was meant to be!

As you can see, as soon as we decided to officially adopt Willie, I introduced him to the joys of the couch. Do you think he kinda likes it? Mike is going to be home a week from Monday and I can't wait for the two of them to meet!

Coli is giving Willie a welcome to the family kiss.

Now she's explaining to him how to get whatever he wants from 'da hoomins'.

And hopefully, no one is sick of flower photos yet! I'm thrilled with the garden bounty this year and can't seem to get enough of its beauty.

This little wasp was no more than a half inch long and I have no idea what he was other than beautiful!

Minature red roses

Chocolate and lilac violas

An amazingly colored moss rose

Marigolds

And yet more chive blooms complete with honey bee!

2009-06-06T11:17:00.001-07:00

It doesn't get much better than this...

and changing a not so great anniversary to something much better.

Well here I am, sitting on the side of the road waiting for the truck bed tank to fill up with water. I've got Willie to keep me company and little Pinky to type on. How great is that? It has always bugged me that during the half hour or so it takes to fill the water tank I always have a lot of writing ideas and forget them by the time I get back to the house. Not anymore! Finally, I am going to get the post on changes in the herd done for the Wild Hearts, Willing Spirits blog which will be published a little later today.

Look at how beautiful the water garden Mike got me last year has become! Soon it will be completely surrounded by blooms of all kinds, including my roses that are all heavy with buds.

Doesn't it look like a lovely little mossy woodland stream?

And guess what is making the bottom pool home now?

Two pretty little Koi! I haven't named them yet and I'm open to suggestions.

The first squash blossom that opened this morning, which I am putting here as a symbol of beginnings and promise.

And now for that anniversary business...in June 2007, I found myself unexpectedly having surgery to plate and screw a badly broken wrist back together. Then in June 2008, I had an emergency appendectomy for a ruptured and gangrenous appendix which was soon followed by a melanoma diagnosis. June has come to not have great connotations for me.

That all changed this morning when I learned that Melissa, my lost friend Susan Angelo's daughter, gave birth to her baby girl, Nova Stella. Both mother and daughter are well and safe and I am so excited that I will soon be seeing photos of Susan's newest granddaughter. What a gift!

2009-06-05T13:33:00.000-07:00

Fun Foto Friday...

I haven't done this for a while and these are all from the garden.

Lady bug on chive blossom

Prickly pear cactus

Cobweb on yucca plant

Culinary sage

Baby Rutgers tomato

2009-06-04T15:04:00.000-07:00

A happy reunion!

I hadn't seen or heard our lost sheep for several weeks and thought she had either been caught or had moved on. Then early one morning last week, I was awakened by the sound of dogs barking very close by. Then I realized the barking was coming from just above the yurt. I immediately thought that stray dogs had cornered one of the cats and still mostly asleep, I started pulling my clothes on.

We don't keep a gun and as I was heading out, I tried to think of what we had that would make a good weapon since I didn't know exactly what I was walking into. Walking through the gate, I grabbed Mike's long handled shovel because I figured it had good weight and plenty of length.

As I got close to the top of the waterfall I saw what they were really after, our feral sheep. They had her cornered in the rocks but she had been smart enough to have her back covered against a large fir tree and was holding them off. I recognized the dogs as ones that wandered around in this area and fortunately, they took off when I got close.

I stood leaning on my shovel as I tried to catch my breath and clear my mind. The ewe was holding her ground and looking back at me so I gradually moved closer to see if I could tell if she had been hurt. I talked to her all the time, telling her how glad we would be to have her live with us and that I would do all I could to keep her safe, that living with the horses she would have food and water and protection from coyotes and dogs.

I was impressed that she let me get within ten feet of her before she began to tense. I stopped there and stood with her a few minutes and then went back down the mountain. Before I left, I decided to name her Lilly for her pretty pink and white self and because Lilly was part of my mother's name.

I haven't seen or heard her since and thought she must have moved on again. Then while I was fixing the horses' breakfast this morning, I heard a fairly frantic series of 'Baaaas!' coming from the south side of the horse area. I thought it must be Lilly again and went out to see if I could tell what the problem was. To my surprise, it was one of the yearlings that had been part of Lilly's original flock.

As the little one came up the slope, I began to hear Lilly answering from above the bluff and I had just enough time to run in and grab my camera and put the zoom lens on it. What a happy reunion they had when they finally met on the slope! I'm sure this little ewe is Lilly's lamb because of the way they greeted each other and I'm so happy that neither of them are alone anymore. I named the little one Sienna for her beautiful brown coloring.

For the rest of the day, they have been happily criss crossing the mountain and have casually used the trails just above the yurt. Based on the horses' non-reaction, I think they have known Lilly has been staying up there all along. In hopes that they will continue to stay and see this as a safe place, I lugged a five gallon bucket of water up the slope where they cross under the fence, along with a bag of loose hay. I don't think they will much want the hay with so much green to eat, but the water might encourage them to stay closer.