Steps

I'm Totally Blaming this Whole Experience on Kari

2009-12-08T11:41:00.002-06:00

Yes, I went to the Y. I got in my 40 minutes. But afterwards the family/special needs locker room where she and I shower was full of preschoolers single Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (I kid you not) as their program people showered them one by one. Now had Kari been with me like she was supposed to be, I would definitely have not done this. She is never going to see me naked. I would have packed up and come home to shower. But somehow I convinced myself that i could hastily shower in the regular locker room without anyone seeing me.

I quickly stripped in a quiet corner, put a towel in front of me (no, it won't go around me thank you very much) and headed to the gang shower, which was empty. I found a place for my towel, and turned the water on and there I was, BUCK naked, when lap swimming ended and in came the group. They have to walk through the gang shower to get into the locker room so every single one of them was privy to my very large, very naked body.

I had the fastest shower known to mankind. Seriously. I could give you much more detail about this, but really, I think it would embarrass even me. And then I rushed back to my little corner where, low and behold, I realized that in my haste I had simply dropped my clothes into a pile and a very fit, very young, very not fat, fully clothed girl was standing at her locker which was next to my dirty underwear on the floor which, of course, according to Murphy's law, was crotch up. I hurriedly dressed and packed my bag in embarrassment, only to discover that I had put my glasses in the bag first, so I had to dig everything out to find them. When I finally had them out, I left, in shame, confused and frustrated.

And did I go to Burger king? DUH!

It's a Good thing...

2009-12-08T09:25:00.002-06:00

I'm going to go to the Y this morning even though Kari won't go with me.

It's a good thing that I am only adding one new habit a week. I'm going to finish my workout about lunch time and there is a Burger King right across the street from the Y.

Smile.

The Habit Challenge: Week One

2009-12-07T13:09:00.002-06:00

This week I'm going to exercise 40 minutes a day at least 5 times. I know this is a lot for a first step, but for me it isn't. I have done this before, I can do it again.

The idea of the habit challenge is that we have one habit to conquer each week. The weeks go from Monday to Sunday. If I accomplish the habit this week, I add a new one next week. If I don't, I try again next week. Small steps.

So what will your new habit be this week?

Starting Again.... But Slowly

2009-12-01T10:10:00.002-06:00

I have concluded that the reason that my journey to health went so well last time around is that it was gradual. Even though I know where I want to be, I know that if I don't get there slowly it isn't going to happen. If I deprive myself of everything immediately I won't stick to it.

So I have decided that every week I am going to add something to my routine (or take something away) that results in better health. I think this will be more helpful than the way I have been doing things lately, which is planning for a huge health makeover to take place... starting Monday (so I better eat all I can now).

The first step is going back to the YMCA which I did this morning. Then I will add something next week, and each of the following weeks until I can get to the place I know I need to be.

It feels good to be doing something at least.

If You Could Bottle The Feeling

2009-09-08T06:27:00.002-05:00

of walking into your house at 6:15 a.m., showered, ready for the day, energized, having had 32 ounces of water and 40 minutes of exercise... you could sell it.

PLUS

the feeling of winning round 2 of the biggest loser competition with Kari.

All I have to say to that is NEENER NEENER.

But really, we both one -- she lost a pound, i lost two.

I'm just won more.

Do you think it would be helpful to her if I gloat?

Mommy, Do You Like Getting Up and Going to the Y?

2009-09-03T07:28:00.003-05:00

Sadie is so cute. She's 14 and she still calls me mommy sometimes. Nobody else has done that in years, but it's sweet. So while we were heading to the Y this morning (without Kari I must add) she asks me, "Do you like getting up and going to the Y?"

I responded with a "No, not really. But I like not going less."

Confusing her I had to explain. I don't like exercise. Period. And I don't like getting up at the crack of dawn. But I do like how I feel after I go. I explained to her about endorphins, and how important it was for me to get some time to gather my thoughts before I had to deal with the onslaught of teenage hormones, especially during the school year. I told her that I had tons of energy until mid-afternoon if I got up and got moving early in the morning.

I also explained that sometimes I give myself a really hard challenge at the Y -- like going at 4 mph for a solid three minutes and pushing my heart rate up over 160. That way if I can make myself do it, I figure I have conquered one hard thing in the morning and I can conquer anything else that day.

So no, I don't like to get up and go to the Y. But I like what it does for me and how I feel afterwards. And I've gotten to the point now that the days I don't go are sluggish and icky -- thus, I like not going less than I like going.

And, to top it all off, when Kari does go with me we have a great time. We cut up and laugh and talk about serious stuff and do all kinds of interactive things. My friend Jill, who does not blog, mentioned that I am too serious lately in my writing, but it's because I'm overwhelmed, not because I'm not still flippin HILARIOUS. ;-)

Just ask Justin. He's the 20 something kid that works the early shift at the Y three days a week. My kids think I"m joking when I say he thinks I'm hot, but....

I'm BAAAACK!

2009-08-31T09:13:00.003-05:00

Well, having exercised minimally this summer and gaining back most of what I lost. But now Kari and I are doing our own personal biggest loser contest, and I intend to win. Except that now she is ahead. And she blogged about it.

And you know what she asked me this morning?

After a few choice words of pride, rubbing it in my face, she's all done gloating. And I'm thinking, good grief, when I am ahead I am so going to do a better job of bragging about it.

And so I said, "Is that it? Is that all the gloating you're going to do?"

And Little Miss People Pleaser says, "Would it be helpful to you if I would gloat?"

who says crap like that?

Momentum

2009-07-06T07:38:00.003-05:00

Well, momentum is working in the other direction now and I'm angry at myself. My weight went steadily down as I gained momentum and now that I am starting to gain it's going the other way. I am so frustrated with myself for allowing this to happen. I was on such a roll last summer and I lost my motivation and my momentum.

I have to get back on the wagon. like NOW.

I think the reason I am more frustrated with myself this time around is that i have never done better at weight loss and STILL i'm gaining it back.

GRRRRRRRR....

Back at it this morning

2009-06-24T07:04:00.003-05:00

At the Y by 5:15, did my workout, came home and had a couple cheesesticks, and now I'm at the computer.

40 minutes -- 25 on the treadmill, 15 on the bike. I think it was hotter in there today because I didn't work any harder but I sure sweat more.

And you wanted to know that...

Regret it every time

2009-06-23T08:34:00.002-05:00

Unless it is the end of a hard day and I am very tired, I never regret my decision to get up early and work out. When I do I have a lot of energy for hours afterwards, I feel great, and I'm empowered to do more. I have a sense of pride and accomplishment.

But I always regret it when I choose not to do it. Last night Kari wasn't feeling well and I should have gone to the Y without her this morning, because after all, I went for months without her last year, but I used that as an excuse. And last night, when she had her husband call me to say she couldn't come, I just want it to be known that I referred to her as a spineless wimp not because she was sick and possibly puking, but because she had Mike call to let me know.

Anyway, I digress. So the bottom line is, I don't know why I ever let myself skip a day. I always regret it when I do and then I'm crabby and unmotivated when I sleep in. Not learning from my mistakes. Good grief. You'd think I was one of my kids.

Wow... I didn't realize

2009-06-22T08:13:00.002-05:00

That it had been since April since I had posted. That's scary. Unfortunately, I gained 10 pounds during that time as well, but this last week lost 2. So I'm eight more than I was a couple months ago and not happy at all.

I'm determined to get back on things. When I left for NYC a year ago I was at an all time low of my life and now I am 23 pounds heavier than that. I'm going to see the same friend I saw last year who was a big part of motivating me on this journey, and I'm determined to not be heavier at least. I'd love to be just a few pounds lighter, but am realizing that probably isn't going to happen. I'm annoyed with myself for gaining some of it back. The nice thing is that I did not get to the point where I was having back pain again. I didn't gain it all back. And I'm still only 8 pounds away from the lightest I had been in about 15 years.

So here we go again. Went to the Y at 5 with Kari and Sadie and her friend joined us. Not a great workout, but better than nothing. And so far I've eaten fairly responsibly this morning.

Hopefully I'm back on the saddle...

Kari's Trainer

2009-04-16T06:50:00.004-05:00

So this morning at the Y I am totally being Jillian, looking off to the camera and commenting on Kari's progress, just like on the Biggest Loser show. And I was hilarious.

But not as hilarious as this. Can you imagine the horror of a trainer with this body and Jillian's face and personality? I decided not to spend too much time making it look realistic, cuz it just ain't gonna look realistic... trust me. But it was a lot easier making her face fit on my body than the other way around. (and yes, of course I had to use the picture of me at my heaviest. Why wouldn't i? After all, nobody can see my face...

Should it Alarm Me?

2009-04-13T06:37:00.002-05:00

While on the treadmill at 5:30 this morning I was listening to a podcast about fitness that has people who call in and ask questions. Do you think it should alarm me that the caller was sobbing, literally sobbing, because she ways nine pounds LESS than I do?

I did lose a pound or two (can't remember what I weighed last time it's been so long) and I was really excited because if figured I had gained at least five. I did NOT want to get up this morning, but when i was done I was really glad I had. It was a good workout and now i"m more ready for my day.

I'm even motivated to get back on track now. I think I'm going to look at a year ago on this blog and copy what I was doing then. It sure seemed to work last Spring...

You Really Just Wanna Smack Em

2009-03-25T06:48:00.003-05:00

Today there was a woman on "my" treadmill. Actually, it isn't mine completely, but it is the one I signed up for. ANd you'd think that me, Ms. Assertive, would easily be able to walk up to her and say, "hey, I signed up for this one" but instead I just sat on the bike and glared at her very very very skinny butt.

And I thought, Hey, I need that WAY more than you, can't you TELL? I swear she weighed maybe 120 soaking wet, pregnant, and after a huge salty meal where she was retaining water. And I was all, "what in the WORLD is she thinking taking my treadmill?"

But I just sat on the bike until another treadmill was free.

Brave me.

Brave, fat me can't confront skinny fit girl who stole my treadmill.

What is the world coming to?

Back by 6:15

2009-03-24T06:33:00.000-05:00

Kari and I were back by 6:15 this morning. I neglected to blog on Friday or yesterday, but we were there both days doing good cardio workouts. I lost a pound after not having lost anything for a while, so that's good.

This morning, though, we did weights and I am tired and sore... and the day is just beginning.

I need a nap.

Weight Training

2009-03-19T06:52:00.002-05:00

Did it again. 8 different weight machines, 3 sets of 15 reps, all before 6 a.m.

Feeling a bit tired and sore, but glad to have accomplished that. Days when I do cardio I feel a bit more motivated afterwards than on days when I do weights, but it does feel good to know I did something this morning.

Even if I already want a nap and it's only 7 a.m.

Intervals

2009-03-18T06:51:00.001-05:00

Another interval workout this morning, even with a headache. Felt good to have it done. Now I just need to get rid of the headache. I'm not losing weight yet, but hoping that getting back on track will make me feel better anyway. Today is the third day in a row that Kari and I were at the Y by 5:15 a.m. I always feel so much better when I start my days this way.

Except for the headache. I know, I'm just a whiner.

Note to Self

2009-03-17T06:30:00.002-05:00

I need to remember that if I get sick, and don't lift weights for two weeks, that going back to the same amount of weight that I had previously done right before skipping out is not a good plan. My arms are killing me.

But I did it. 7 machines and 3 sets of 15 reps for each machine. I'm not feling up to par, but I'm gld i I did it.

now I eel like I need a nap.

Back at It

2009-03-16T06:37:00.002-05:00

After a few weeks of being ill with various calamities, i was back at the Y at 5 this morning for a great 40 minute interval workout with my friend Kari.. Even though my stomach is still quite queasy, it is a great feeling to have exercise done by 6:30 a.m....

Here are my goals for this week:

40 minutes of interval cardio 3 x week
40 minutes of weight lifting 3 x a week
3 extra walks of at least 20 minutes during the week
No Pop
64 oz of water a day
"the sandwich" for lunch at least 3 days this week
Only one dessert this week
No Fast Food

Achievable for sure.... but difficult, oh yeah.

All Done

2009-02-23T07:23:00.002-06:00

I finished my workout and shower and was home by 6:30. I love that feelign. I gained 2 pounds this week, but I am just telling myself it's muscle. I'm trying to focus on the positives and not the negatives. If I feel better then I should be grateful, regardless of weight loss.

This week i'm adding a few more things to my routine -- no fast food, eating something small before I work out, and no drinks besides water, decaf tea and milk. that's on top of all the other stuff we did last week and the week before.

Last week I made it to the Y six straight days, five of them at five.

Can't beat that....

Still Hanging in there

2009-02-20T06:38:00.004-06:00

For the fifth day in a row I was a the YMCA at 5 a.m. now that is cranking. I love the feeling I get when I am done.

Today was kind of an off day -- Kari went with me and she gets me all hyper and I forget stuff. Like today I forgot my water bottle and left it in the van, had no Y card, didn't bring a comb -- and then my favorite treadmill was busy for a while (as were most of them) so I only had 20 minutes there and 20 on the bike.

Plus, I had to stand next to a skinny person who was running and those really skinny people, you know the ones I'm talking about, the ones in perfect shape, they just grate on my nerves sometimes. Today I looked over at her cool down speed and it was higher than my maximum speed. And then she did this little thing where she rode the treadmill to the end and hopped off. Here I hold on for dear life as I move my feet off the thing worried I'll fall off. Sigh.

But I got in the workout and showered and feel great. And I did drink about 20 oz of water on my way home. So the day is off to a great start.

I have been participating in a challenge with Cindy in Tx who is challenging me. My rules for the week have been, starting Monday, as follows:

40 minutes of Cardio MWF
40 minutes of strength training (weight machines) TThS
Check blood sugar daily
64 oz of water a day
no pop of any kind
no fries or fry substitutes
10 squats per day
only one dessert per week

So far this week I've made it each day. Next week I get to choose the rules. Any suggestions of what to add?

Showing Off and I'm Sore

2009-02-17T06:52:00.003-06:00

Kari came with me to the Y this morning and I think I was showing off a little bit -- going a little faster than normal with the weights -- and I'm feeling it... in the arms especially. But it is awesome to come home by 6:30 a.m. having worked out and showered. I love it!

It Paid Off

2009-02-16T08:52:00.001-06:00

Well, I lost three pounds. Saturday I did weight lifting at the Y, adding five pounds to each weight machine, and today I was back there doing cardio -- interval workout -- and taking my shower. I love taking my shower there. It's such a nice, clean controlled environment. I can even use nice shampoo that nobody has messed with. Even after our shower is fixed in the basement I may continue the habit especially since I discovered that the family locker room, never used at that hour, has private showers.

So I'm starting the week off feeling great!

Yesterday and Today

2009-02-13T06:49:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I did 40 minutes of Weight machines starting at 5:20 a.m. This morning my cardio/interval workout started at 5:30 and even stayed to shower at the Y. I haven't had a pop all week and have had at least 30 ounces of water every day. I'm getting my groove back....

It's About How You Feel

2009-02-11T09:58:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I used the weight machines and today I did a 25 minute interval workout and 15 minutes of cardio on the bike. While I was doing that I listened to a fitness podcast and my online personal trainer Jonathan Roche was talking about how you feel is what makes people determine how fat you are. Now, mind you, I am not going to ever suggest that people are going to look at me and say, "OOOOH, she is SOOOOO skinny." That would be, well, stupid.

However, I noticed something. Back in July I hit a plateau for about two months. But I was still working out and eating right anyway. During those whole two months people were saying "Wow, you look so good! You've lost some more haven't you." And I had to admit that I was not.

About the time that I stopped working out, people stopped commenting. And nobody has said anything for a while. Last week I started going back to the gym and for the first time in about 3 months people at church said something on Sunday. So I think there may be something to what Jonathan is saying. If I feel like a fat, sedentary, lazy, unmotivated slob I may just look like one. If I feel like a motivated, in control of my life, energetic queen of fitness, I probably look like one.

This morning when I was on the treadmill I began to get that feeling I remember so well. That feeling that nothing is impossible, that I can do anything if I try. And I'm ready to get back on the wagon full force and make things happen again.

It's been a long several months, but I'm BAAAAACK!