McKoala Days

I know, I know

2009-07-14T23:58:00.000-07:00

I've failed you in so many ways. I've returned to my sporadic updating habits and the Koala Stats are screaming out for another update (but that doesn't mean I will not be checking up on you my little possums, because I will be, and Precie and Sarah are in my good books for reporting in right here, my little angel possums, as for the rest of you, if you haven't been firing out plenty of wordage, you will not hear the Koala's wrath approaching until my claws are sinking into your flesh...do I make myself clear?).

So, what have I been doing? Well it's Baby Koala Vacation time, so I'm trying to be a good parent, while dealing with the whole house viewing thing that's going on. Amusing baby Koalas and keeping a house clean and tidy are completely contradictory situations. Plus, Princess turns six tomorrow! My baby's getting bigger!

In the midst of all this, I'm trying to edit The Woman in the Wall, while the next novel idea is scrambling around in my head, and another short story is squeezing its way out through my blood vessels. Phew.

And on the weekend, we saw someone very special... Photo coming up soon!

The Will of a Princess is a Mighty Thing

2009-07-09T16:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning, Princess mentioned to Mr Koala that she had a sore throat and wasn't feeling well. Ah, says Mr Koala, well, if you need a day off school then you can't go to Princess Chum's birthday party tonight. 'I feel fine,' says Princess and trots off to school. And gets through the whole day. And an hour at home. And gets to the party and lasts an hour, then bursts into tears, confesses to Princess Chum's Mum that she feels really sick, then flops on the sofa and falls asleep right in the middle of the party games.

Poor old Princess. Willpower only gets you so far.

But, meanwhile, back at the coal face...

2009-07-05T17:51:00.000-07:00

I started well last week, writing, editing and sending off a short story to a women's mag (Mr Koala says I must earn more hard cash to pay for the new eucalypt, so I thought I'd try the fun way first). Then it was a slippery slope straight back down to the production of nothing. More of a precipice, really, a smooth one, and well-greased too.

However, today I am going to print out my first draft of The Woman in the Wall and get down to some serious editing. Beta readers - watch out. I hope it will be with you in a month or so. Some of you actually volunteered, you mad things! I'll be calling on you soon... Mwah!

All estmated timings, of course, depend on what kind of a state manuscript turns out to be in once I print it. I'm cautiously optimistic and also really looking forward to reading it again - particularly because when I read over the first 20,000 words a few months ago, having abandoned it for a while, I was quite impressed in a 'what? did I really write this?' kind of a way, so I hope I have the same feeling after reading the whole story. There will be endless logistics to sort out, of course, which is where you come in, my darlings.

And, in the meantime, I'm going to keep a fertile little corner of my mind turned over and ready for short story ideas for womens' mags - there's money in them there hills, my friends, and it's saved me from the wrath of Mr Koala in the past (writing? pah! waste of time! oh, did you say something about a cheque... that's good, keep writing then...).

And I'll be doing a Koala Check in the next 24 hours or so to see who needs to join me in a rankings slide, so get those stats up to date sharpish.

New eucalypt!

2009-07-02T18:02:00.000-07:00

After many offstage dramas, with which I shall not burden you, given that you have lives, we have bagged a new eucalypt! Quiet road, seriously massive back yard, pool and a much more sensible layout of house, all of which we will actually use. The Baby Koalas are in ecstasy due to the size of the back yard. I am quietly triumphant due to the back yard, and the amount of time the Baby Koalas will be spending in it, after Mummy locks the back door. Heh heh.

The current eucalypt has its first open house on Saturday, so cross those claws for us!

The Koala Offers Summer Vacations

2009-06-27T18:00:00.000-07:00

I have benevolently decided that all Koala Challengees may take a two-week summer vacation. You decide when to take it (all heart, me). I'm guessing Sylvia is taking a week right now, and Blogless, you've had yours, my friend, don't you go asking for more, oh Mr Two Weeks In The Sunshine.

Just post your vacation status wherever you usually post your stats.

And I'd like to welcome the lovely Precie to our victim, um, participant list. It's good to see you back around the blogs! Even better to see you volunteer for this (accidental volunteering counts, sorry). Just update me on your word count, or I can check your blog, which I usually do every week or two for those who have wordometers there.

Which brings me to...

Koala Warning!: The eucalypt goes on the market this week, so I am almost finished the branch primping, which means my slackness in checking up on your stats is over. Get 'em updated fastish, because I'll be visiting you all this week and I expect wordage my friends, big wordage!

I will also be officially ending my own End of WIP Break, so I'm back in the rankings. Don't say I'm not a fair bear. (Actually I'm not a bear at all, but I liked the rhyme...)

Werewolf Running into Print

2009-06-24T17:12:00.000-07:00

The Koala takes a short break from her paintbrushes to let you know that 'Werewolf Running', written by that Shona Snowden person, will be appearing in Midnight Echo #3.

Midnight Echo is the magazine of the Australian Horror Writers Association and they even pay. Although it's so little that she has chosen to donate it back to the mag in the hope that they may survive to publish more issues, and thus more of her work...

The Koala read an excerpt from 'Werewolf Running' for Robin's latest voice challenge, right here.

Many nice things were said in the acceptance note, so The Koala is feeling quite smug today.

The Koala Still Lives! And Punishes!

2009-06-22T03:28:00.001-07:00

Glad to set your minds at rest on that one.

The Koala has been super busy, polishing and trimming the eucalypt, even painting where the Little Koalas' toys and heads have cracked the paintwork. It's looking pretty fab, especially where I've been rearranging furniture and ornaments etc; I'm a one-woman home renovator and decorator all wrapped into a single furry package. It goes on the Eucalypt Market next week. Nope, haven't chosen another one yet. So, just a bit frantic. Hence my lack of Koaling right here.

Nonetheless, punishment time... Aerin, first of all - thought you could write 5000 words in a day, eh? Let's see if you can do 5000 words in a week. Post the smackdown badge and this little missive on your blog so we can all yell at you, sorry, encourage you on. Completion of your punishment will get you straight back up on approval status.

Dear All

I have failed the Mighty Koala. I said I would write 5000 words in a day. I didn't. Now she has generously offered me the opportunity to redeem myself by meeting that total in a week. She is all kindness and loving. I will post my start date here so that you can all follow my progress. And she says there had better be progress, or else...

Aerin

And as for Blogless...he who rubbed his sunny holiday in all of our faces...I was going to double the standard 2000-word punishment, but realised he, um, might not reach that target. So Blogless, when you finally return from Paradise, it's the standard 2000 words and a funny internet link for you, plus, oh witty one, you are also to write your own punishment message to post on the side of your blog. And it better be good. And very complimentary towards The Koala. You have been warned.

I will be back; promise!

*oh and I forgot to mention that JJdeGoblin will be around shortly to pull out your toenails*

Punishments will be issued

2009-06-14T23:18:00.001-07:00

Oh, yes. Quake in your booties, BT and Aerin, for the Koala is cogitating.

I love Aerin!

2009-06-12T21:37:00.001-07:00

For she has just lain down and invited her own evisceration...

"I have a weird favor to ask of you. My birthday present from my fam is writing time - I have the whole afternoon. I'm setting the goal of 5,000 words.

If I don't reach it, will you dole out some McK punishment, as you did to Whirl? I know I'm bringing it on myself, but I have to get someone to keep me accountable and I'm more afraid of you than any of my other writer friends and I mean that in a very loving, admiring sort of way."

Oh, she knows what The Koala likes in her friends. *sets the wordometer* *chk* Go, Aerin!

*The Koala retires for a relaxing little claw sharpen and polish*

The parking ticket was an omen

2009-06-12T03:20:00.000-07:00

After three hours at the bank, which gained me hundreds of thousands of dollars and a parking ticket, we bid on the house - twice - got beat - twice. Boo hoo. No tennis court for the Koalas.

Looking at some more places tomorrow and continuing to prep ours for sale. Will drop by when I can, but things continue frantic!

*Updated to add Koala stats... some up, some static, only one dramatic change...

BLOGLESS TROLL, CONSIDER YOURSELF SMACKED DOWN!

ah, that feels better...punishment details will follow...or Whirl can tell you...*

What was he thinking?

2009-06-08T20:40:00.000-07:00

Still running around, chasing estate agents and banks and trying to figure out what to do. We now know the house we are looking at is structurally sound (I know Written, fingers crossed!) and the renovation options we are interested in (cash permitting) are all possible, plus that our house is probably worth enough to make the whole thing possible. What we don't know is if our bank would release us from our fixed rate mortgage - which only has a year to run - without penalty, even if we remortgage with them, and for more. The penalty is punitive enough that we don't want to pay it, even if it means we can't buy the new place. But, I hear you say, you're offering them more business in the shape of a bigger, juicier mortgage, plus you've already proved you pay regularly and are generally lovely clients. All correct. Banks are stooopid, it seems.

Speaking of stooopid, there are just so many reasons why this is a stooopid idea. A bear-proof hunting suit weighing a mere 147 pounds. Nippy. And does it work...?

Link courtesy of Whirlochre, and, yes, it made me laugh, so that, plus his 2000 words in a week raises him back up to Happy Koala level. It's all downhill from there, of course...

Thanks to those of you who have dropped in with stats updates, I hope to do a checkarama in a day or so, and saving me a few clicks and a lot of time causes me to look with some favour upon you and may even make the difference between dropping down and staying put. Hint, hint.

Voicing the werewolf

2009-06-03T18:44:00.000-07:00

Robin is hosting another voiceover fest - here's my contribution, in the form of the first page or so of a short story about a werewolf.

Check out Robin's blog for more links!

Something a little different

2009-06-02T17:43:00.000-07:00

Mr Koala and I are contemplating the purchase of a new eucalypt. (In the middle of a recession, yay! Gulp.)

We live in a beautifully renovated eucalypt with four double bedrooms, two living areas, swimming pool and landscaped garden. It's seriously gorgeous. The eucalypt that has caught our eye is a dodgy old eucalypt with three small bedrooms, no pool and a wilderness outside the front door, complete with redback-riddled brick barbecue, plus a car port and shed that are so shonky the council has insisted that they be imminently demolished. So what is it about this eucalypt that appeals to us? My honeys, despite being located in the middle of a brick suburb, this eucalypt enjoys a land size of twice the size of most blocks around here, including a tennis court. There is some serious outdoor fun to be had at this place. And the renovation potential is massive - although, if we do purchase it, we will be so short on cash it's not funny and no renovation will take place for a number of years. Which will mean us living in what is essentially a three-bedroom place, with one not-particularly-big living area and a small kitchen. It does also have a downstairs/basement area, whose legality is questionable, but that could be used for storage and as a rumpus - however, with no internal stairs I would need something like a spy cam and a walkie talkie to keep an eye on the baby koalas! (Occasionally they claw one another. I know, I know, it's the parenting.)

So what with visits and valuations and stressing about who else is chasing our not-so-dream home, we're a little busy, busy, busy up here in the eucalypt. Nope, no writing. But that's OK, because I'm on a post-WIP break! As for the rest of you... I'll be checking up soon, so get those stats updated.

Book Roast Epilogue

2009-05-28T18:03:00.000-07:00

And so we came to the end… sort of. What's an ending without a celebration?! There's no sneaking away into the darkness for the Book Roast. The lights are on, the music's high and the party's right over here. Yes, it's a surprise party for Head Chef, Chris Eldin!

Someone grab that luscious Roast Master Chris and let’s PARTY!!!!!

Koala movers and shakers

2009-05-26T21:33:00.000-07:00

Up: JJde Goblin and Robin

Down: Blogless ('gone missing' might be more accurate)

Same: Chris (for her intention to write - I need to see actual wordcount by next week, though), Sarah (a week's grace for stress due to Prop 8).

In question...report in in 24 hours or I will drop you down anyway... Sylvia? Aerin? JC?

Now for the fun stuff...the Smacked Down. Whirl, largely healed from his scars, has actually written his 2000 word repentance, and, people, he reported that my wrath was a good incentive to write. See, see, how good I am being to all of you? Hm? Love, that's what I'm about. When Whirl fronts up with the final part of his punishment, the Link that Makes the Koala Laugh, he will be free from his enthralment in the Smacked Down Lounge. Any implication that Whirl may already have done this and The Koala may merely have lost track of the link in the chaos of her blog will result in your Going Direct To Smackdown, because The Koala is Never Wrong. Love, like I said. It's all about the lovin'.

Janey, hon...how's it going for you, babe?

Lazy Daisy

2009-05-25T18:16:00.000-07:00

Just swanning around my desktop, checking out a few blogs. Here's a fabulous link from Janet Reid (so you know it's good stuff, right?). Toni McGee Causey - this post is a must read for anyone with children. You'll laugh, you'll cry...oh go on, just read it already.

And, as for the essentials of life, check this out. Link from Jorge Garcia. Oh, allright then from his blog.

Need a little inspiration for dinner?

2009-05-22T23:52:00.000-07:00

There are recipes popping up all over the place at the moment. Paca is our most faithful chef, and his latest suggestion looks awsome. Plus, at the moment Ello is talking Asian food and Laughing Wolf posted a Yorkshire Pudding recipe on Susan Wingate's 'Bobby's Diner' thread over at the Book Roast.

Keep cooking!

Post WiP slough? What post-WiP slough?

2009-05-21T18:08:00.000-07:00

Thanks to two of my regular clients, who both gave me this Friday as a deadline, my fingers have not stopped tapping on this keyboard. I'm only grateful that it wasn't last week. Editing is easier to get back to than frenzied drafting.

I'll be baaaack....

Driving Induces Vomit

2009-05-17T20:41:00.000-07:00

Thank you for your kind thoughts on the previous post, I'm a happy Koala to have finished. Must psyche self up to do those edits, before I forget 'em though, otherwise I know it won't make sense when I pull it out of the drawer!

But let's move away from writing for a while, to the trials of everyday life. Like driving along one of Sydney's major arteries, as I did today. Parramatta Road is a two, sometimes three lane road, not a motorway or highway as such, but one of the main roads that slice up the city, running from the centre out to the suburbs. A highway does run parallel to it, and, man, I wish I had been on that highway today. I hadn't been along Parramatta Road in a while, and I vaguely remembered it being very busy and lined with shopping centres, factories and offices, of varying degrees of tattiness. That was spot on. What I had forgotten was how rough the road surface is. As I drove along it, my poor old car (note: sedan, not 4WD, alas) yawed from side to side, simultaneously plunging down into potholes, or up over dodgy pothole repairs. It was like being on a ride at Disneyland (:-)). Except it went on for much longer. I don't get travel sick, however, after 20 minutes or so of this, not only was I feeling green, but dizzy, and wondering if I needed to pull off and take a break.

There's not much point to this, other than a whinge. I survived. I was outraged. The meeting went well, thanks. I had a nice cup of tea.

And that, my friends, is bathos and your post for today.

She's out!

2009-05-14T22:24:00.000-07:00

And I'm finished. 75,000 mostly harrowing words later, and the Woman is finally out of the Wall. Poor thing.

And, of course, in some ways the story turned out not to even be about her at all. Isn't that always the way? Just who she is, how she gets out of the wall and what the story is really about, are secrets that await the loving eyes of my beta readers. (Most of you probably know who you are...if you're in doubt, you'll find out sooner or later...)

So, over the next week or so I'll work on a few edits I know I need to make, then the Woman Finally out of the Wall, will become the Woman Stuffed in the Bottom Drawer For a Few Weeks, so I can re-read in a month or six weeks with something of a fresh eye, before she's allowed out of there and into the world. Of Loving Betas.

I've had a pretty ferocious week of writing this week - check the Koala's stats! I'm going straight back to fully approved and stamped with love come check in time. I'm somewhat drained. Still, I'll dive into the edits in a day or so and then I'll claim a post-WIP break to read something that will make somebody in pink stripy socks jump for joy.

Something sweet-smelling on the barbecue today...

2009-05-13T05:02:00.000-07:00

Check out the Book Roast. You'll find somebody I'm very close to hanging round there today... Well, later today, once she arises from her slumbers.

Welcome to Koala Smackdown!

2009-05-11T16:55:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not I have showed restraint over the past four or five months. I have attempted to be understanding; I have, in my benevolent Koala-like manner, occasionally offered writers a slightly longer piece of rope with which to hang themselves. Now, at last, the time has come. My claws are unsheathed and sinking into not one, but two, miscreants...

I invite you to view the bloody remains of:

Whirlochre
and
Janey

Not only must these two now display the butt-kicked badge prominently on their blog, they must feature underneath it the following message:

Dear All

Alas, I have not met the Koala's kind, generous and loving challenge of writing a mere 100 words six days a week. You may not see me for some time, because the depth of the clawmarks in my butt make it impossible for me to sit in a computer chair.

I understand that the only way to be free of the humiliating stain of displaying my 'The Koala Kicked My Butt' badge, and to placate the enraged Koala, is to write a minimum of 2000 words in a single week and also to direct the Koala to some highly witty web site or YouTube video where she may laugh off her disappointment in me. That modest target has been set by the Koala while in a relatively good mood. Further infringements will incur further challenges of increasing complexity.

I also understand that a Goblin, disguised as JJdeBenedictis, will shortly appear and pull out all my toenails.

Yours sincerely

Whirlochre/Janey

PS Other, more successful, participants in the Koala's challenge may also feel free to mock me

Koala Threat Level: Extreme

2009-05-09T04:28:00.000-07:00

You know who you are. Smackdown approaches. 48 hours to produce some wordage or you will wear the badge of humiliation.

You have been warned.

The Koala is grumpy. She may have to take it out on you.

What a week

2009-05-07T22:54:00.000-07:00

Just completely manic. A full day on canteen, plus bits and pieces of other volunteering (I'm such a sucker for help requests), a faraway specialist appointment for Soccer Boy, a new client meeting, a full day at the Athletics Carnival (SB just missed the 200 metre final, came equal fourth in 100 metre final and seventh in 800 metres, he's very smug; Princess, um, last in her one and only race, but still smiling); not to mention all the other things I have now managed to completely forget about. The dog has not been walked for days, the library books are beyond overdue and we have raided the freezer down to the very last meal.

So, today, with a lovely empty day ahead of me to catch up with work, domestic admin, walk the dog, make some more food, do the washing etc, what did I do?

I went to sleep for four hours and then added 500 words to my much neglected WIP.

Beware of your dreams

2009-05-05T20:24:00.000-07:00

I read a sign today that said: Beware of your dreams, for they may come true. The dark streak inside me loved that thought. Then I re-read it and, alas, the real message was 'Be aware of your dreams, for they may come true'. Which I should have known as the shop was one of those fluffy-pillowed, candle-scented visions of tat that contains nothing of any use whatsoever.

But...to get back to my first, much better, reading of the sign. My life is full of examples of the danger of dreams. Take Mr Koala, who, while we lived in London, dreamed of returning to his sun-blessed homeland where everybody knocked off work at 5pm to go surfing and all the trains had functional aircon. When we rocked up at the doors of Oz, he discovered that he'd completely forgotten about the fact that, although winter is brief, it's darn cold without heating in the houses, that Aussies now have the longest working hours in the world and that the aircon on most trains had broken down during his twelve-year absence.

It's just another version of 'be careful what you wish for', I suppose - but I like it.