DOCK GREEN

Great news!

2009-07-09T20:58:00.003+01:00

Yes, it's brilliant news from the South Downs, where Sussex Police have totally solved all crime! Well, surely, they must have done. How else to explain that they have the time to threaten with arrest a Horsham sweet shop owner (John O' Sullivan of the Candy Box, 21 Carfax) whose fun fake newspaper headlines about expenses fraud offended the humourless local councillors? I mean, if Sussex Police haven't solved all crime, WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE THEY WASTING TIME AND PUBLIC MONEY ON THE LIKES OF THIS FOR???

Chitty Chitty Stop!

2009-07-08T21:21:00.002+01:00

Norfolk Police again! Is there something about the flatlands that makes coppers even dumber than usual? The scarecrow-stealing plods have decided that the local community isn't alienated enough, so have banned a Chitty Chitty Bang Bang replica car from a rally because it doesn't have an MOT. So? Norfolk Police officers don't have any sense, but they still continue to draw their salaries, for some inexplicable reason.

Theft is theft

2009-07-08T08:43:00.003+01:00

Norfolk Police are refusing to reveal the name of the stuffy WPC who took exception to Brancaster Fete's scarecrow of a policeman with a scamera (presumably she feared being replaced by someone with more brains?), and duly stole it. The police farce, recentlyin the news for giving compasses to Muslim prisoners so they can face Mecca, later returned the stolen item, claiming they had given permission for it but not the scamera. No apology, no disciplining of the thieving officer, and no chance of anyone in Norfolk regarding them as anything other than a laughing-stock.

But isn't that your job?

2009-07-07T08:57:00.002+01:00

Sean Price, head of Cleveland Police, was paid a £24,000 'honorarium' last year for 'cutting crime', not to mention a £50,000 'retention package'. Excuse me, but isn't cutting crime kind of, well, you know, his JOB? And how much did his predecessor have to pay back when crime rose? I think we all know the answer to that one!

A bloody thousand??!!

2009-07-07T08:52:00.002+01:00

Now which of the following is worse?
1) The fact that up to 1000 convicted criminals who should be in jail, including murderers and rapists, are still on the run because the police have 'lost contact' with them.
2) The fact that almost every police force is refusing to reveal details about these criminals (two, Durham and Surrey, won't reveal anything!) because it would breach the Data Protection Act

Next time the council tax demand comes round, look at the police element, and ask yourself - why?

You do the maths - Shaun can't!

2009-07-06T20:25:00.005+01:00

Commander Shaun Sawyer of Scotland Yard really needs to do Basic Maths. Dhimmi that he is, he's been sucking up to Muslim groups, telling them the police fear an attack by far-Right groups. So let's help poor innumerate Mr. Sawyer with some of those tricky things called FACTS:

Number of Londoners killed by Muslim terrorists: 52
Number of Londoners killed by 'far Right' terrorists: 0

Yes, Shaun, clearly there is a great dnager here. Shame you're too dumb - or is it too dhimmified? - to spot it.

Arresting

2009-07-06T20:20:00.002+01:00

You know things are bad when even the 'Independent' Police Complaints Commission have to admit that THREE Greater Manchester Police officers involved in an assault on ONE soldier have been charged with both assault AND conspiracy to pervert the course of justice. And when they have to name them - Sergeant Stephen Russell, PC Richard Kelsall and Special Constable Peter Lightfoot (he's up for perjury as well!) - and they've even been suspended, the case must be more solid than a chief constable's skull.

The right to souse

2009-07-05T17:41:00.002+01:00

Greater Manchester and the Metropolitan Police want the right to use water-cannon against protestors in future. There are, they say, advantages. Presumably such as the victims being unable to indentify the police officer assaulting them whether or not they 'forgot' to wear their official number badges that day.

102!

2009-07-04T11:57:00.002+01:00

Another award for the self-aggrandizing Association of Chief Police Oficers - but not one they will enjoy receiving. The Plain English Campaign has lambasted them over a sentence in one of their missives, which contains an amazing 102 words! For those gluttons for punishment out there, here it is:

'The promise of reform which the Green Paper heralds holds much for the public and Service alike; local policing, customized to local need with authentic answerability, strengthened accountabilities at force level through reforms to police authorities and HMIC, performance management at the service of localities with targets and plans tailored to local needs, the end of centrally engineered one size fits all initiatives, an intelligent approach to cutting red tape through redesign of processes and cultures, a renewed emphasis on strategic development so as to better equip our service to meet the amorphous challenges of managing cross force harms, risks and opportunities.'

A dog's life

2009-07-02T22:09:00.002+01:00

Nottinghamshire Police are refusing to reveal the identity of a dog-handler who left two dogs (which had been donated to the police) in a car on a hot day, where they perished. They have not even taken the handler off duty.

And some police still wonder why we don't trust them?

Go figure...

2009-07-01T08:36:00.003+01:00

When a Gloucestershire woman had a one-night stand with a former lover, then woke up the following morning full of regret, she cried rape. THREE police cars AND a van then turned up to arrest him, and he was held for 22 hours.

The woman is the daughter of a local policeman.

Go figure...

Directionless

2009-06-30T21:05:00.001+01:00

Norfolk Police have decided that, rather spending money on keeping open rural police stations (so passe, my dear!), they would rather splash the cash on compasses for Muslim detainees, so they know which way Mecca is. How about a compass for the moron who authorized this nonsense - so they can find the door marked Exit!

Dick sticks two fingers

2009-06-30T21:01:00.003+01:00

The Metropolitan Police. Any news story that starts with those words is not going to be good. And sure enough, the mad morons at the Met have decided that Cressida Dick, the aptly-named person 'in charge' of the shooting of Jean-Charles de Menezes (the Met whitewash cleared her, unsurprisingly), has received her SECOND promotion since then, and is now on double the salary she was when she oversaw manslaughter by her officers at Stockwell tube station. No credit crunch for her, then.

We haven't enough resources, but....

2009-06-28T09:22:00.002+01:00

I see Dorset Police's assault on speeding cyclists on Bournemouth seafront has taken an interesting turn. When one cyclist objected to being taken into custody for his heinous crime, DP, who are always whining about not having enough officers to reach rural areas, suddenly found they had NINE officers going spare. How convenient. I'm sure the villagers of Dorsetshire can look forward to these being assigned to them, where there is even the chance they may catch a REAL criminal.

He hurt my feelings!

2009-06-28T09:17:00.002+01:00

The Metropolitan Polcie may be proving as useful as a chocolate teapot when it comes to shifting the illegal and ongoing Tamil demonstration in front of Westminster, but some officers are in action. One, PC Ray McQuarrie, whined to his superiors when a Conservative MP called him a 'scuffer', complaining about 'hurt feelings' (though apparently only after he'd looked it up!). Ye Gods! What do our MPs want - the polcie to do their jobs?

A Dick to the last

2009-06-26T20:56:00.002+01:00

How nice of North Wales Police uberfuhrer Dick Brunstrom to spend over £4,000 of his own money on a bardic chair (?) to be presented to the Eisteddfod.

Oh. He's spending over £4,000 of taxpayers' money. But not to worry - NWP says it's coming from 'income previously generated'. Which must explain why they initially refused to divulge the money involved 'because it would cost too much' (and the Welsh for irony is...).

I think we'd get more sense out of a North Wales sheep. Even one that had been tasered!

Okay, who blabbed?

2009-06-26T08:50:00.002+01:00

Essex Police are refusing to say how it leaked out that they have illegally fined around 300,000 drivers for speeding. It emerged today that a cock-up meant the proper authorization to impose the fines was never obtained, so in theory any driver caught in the past four years can now appeal. I wonder which of the following Essex Police will now be devoting all their energies towards:
1) finding the bastard who leaked the story to the press?
2) punishing the incompetent officers who caused the problem

Zealotry-on-the-Downs

2009-06-25T09:02:00.003+01:00

When it comes to abusing the powers given them, it seems that Sussex Police (in particular those in Brighton and Hove) are the most overzealous. There will be a public protest against their seizures of alcohol from people on the seafront this Saturday. Perhaps someone can find the time to explain to an SP officer that they actually rely on public support to do their job. Then again, it would probably be too much to expect them to understand this. Or even listen.

A limited invitation

2009-06-24T08:54:00.004+01:00

For the good people of Warwickshire.

First the good news. You local police force is holding a big do at their 59-acre country house headquarters (vital for policing, don't ya know).

Now the bad news. Your money is going, but you're not. It's only for gypsies and travellers. Assistant Chief Constable Bill Holland thinks this will 'improve relations between police and travellers'. He doesn't give a stuff about relations between his police farce and the local people who, ever more unwillingly, pay for it.

Half a million boos

2009-06-24T08:50:00.002+01:00

Out of touch. Unpopular. Costing too much money. Don't listen. Don't do their jobs properly. No, surprisingly not our unloved MPs - that's what a survey of half a million people said about the POLICE. It will be interesting to see how many of our constabularies place this on their publicly-funded websites. My guess is a low figure, midway between 1 and -1.

Trigger-happy

2009-06-22T21:35:00.002+01:00

This article on police misuse of the potentially lethal taser is depressing enough, but as for Gwent Police.... well, words fail me! HOW ON EARTH DO YOU TASER YOUR OWN FINGER?????

Sound of crickets chirping....

2009-06-22T21:31:00.003+01:00

Congratulations to Leicestershire Police, now that John Magson, who finally tired of years of being terrorized by local thugs and marched out of his house with a baseball bat, now has a criminal record. Pardon? The thugs? What have Leicestershire Police, who so signally failed to protect Mr. Magson, done about them?

Sound of crickets chirping....

More Met madness

2009-06-22T08:51:00.001+01:00

Sigh. The Metropolitan Police. Again. This time they're issuing conflicting advice to people not to hide their car keys at home (it might provoke burglars to violence!). Or is it to hide their car keys? The Met really aren't sure.

A routine advisory note

2009-06-21T09:16:00.002+01:00

That's what the Metropolitan Police (sigh, them again!) said when it emerged that they had instructed officers to go easy on the capital's homeless, just before a TV show in which celebrities bedded down for a night with them. Seems the capital's coppers only enforce the law when it suits them, just like over parliament.

Goodwinesque

2009-06-20T12:46:00.002+01:00

Interesting to see that, amid the furore over MPs' expenses, the Metropolitan Police has decided it's a good day to bury the bad news about their former chief Sir Ian Blair, who regally troughed it himself in his last few months in office. The result is a pension of around £160,000 a year of our money - over THREE GRAND A WEEK! Just like Sir Fred, for running his organization into the ground. And they say there are no rewards for failure...?