BFO Project

I wanna do bad things with you

2009-05-20T10:56:00.000-07:00

I happened to be hanging out with some housemates while they were watching this series on HBO. It's called "True Blood", a series about vampires and a psychic... I don't really care much about it but i heard the opening theme song and it really blew me away. It's old school rock'n roll and an instant classic. You don't hear similar music anymore nowadays. It also reminds me of Chris Isaac somehow.

I have to say I love the lyrics. This song is really catchy. You can easily find yourself singing along. You gotta love it. Well what I can add:

"I don't know what you've done to me,
But I know this much is true:
I wanna do bad things with you.
I wanna do real bad things with you."

Bad Things (Jace Everett)

When you came in the air went out.
And every shadow filled up with doubt.
I don't know who you think you are,
But before the night is through,
I wanna do bad things with you.

I'm the kind to sit up in his room.
Heart sick an' eyes filled up with blue.
I don't know what you've done to me,
But I know this much is true:
I wanna do bad things with you.

When you came in the air went out.
And all those shadows there filled up with doubt.
I don't know who you think you are,
But before the night is through,
I wanna do bad things with you.
I wanna do real bad things with you.
Ow, ooh.

I don't know what you've done to me,
But I know this much is true:
I wanna do bad things with you.
I wanna do real bad things with you.

Steve Jobs Commencement Speech

2009-05-18T11:52:00.000-07:00

I was reading this article about famous key speakers during graduation ceremonies. I came across this amazing, inspirational and touching speech by Steve Jobs, the famous co-founder of Apple which he delivered during Stanford University's 2005 commencement. It was a very personal speech and it dealt with different stages of his life such as being adopted, dropping out of college, starting Apple Computers, getting fired from Apple and his diagnosis with cancer. Here's that highlight of the article (click the link at the bottom and it will take u to the whole speech):

"No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life."

For the full speech click here.

The Day Before You Came

2009-05-18T11:48:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favourite ABBA songs. It is one of their lesser known singles and not their typical style, but I love it a lot.

It is a slow song, kinda sad music. You have to read them. It's all about the lyrics. In the song she describes how her life was a simple, empty, meaningless repetitive routine until she met a guy she fell in love with. It's interesting how she describes the details of her daily routine. She claims she never realized how dull and empty her life was until that guy came into her life.

I always try to connect or relate with songs i hear. I guess i kinda feel like her lately.

The Day Before You Came Lyrics

I must have left my house at eight, because I always do

My train, I'm certain, left the station just when it was due

I must have read the morning paper going into town

And having gotten through the editorial, no doubt I must have frowned

I must have made my desk around a quarter after nine

With letters to be read, and heaps of papers waiting to be signed

I must have gone to lunch at half past twelve or so

The usual place, the usual bunch

And still on top of this I'm pretty sure it must have rained

The day before you came

I must have lit my seventh cigarette at half past two

And at the time I never even noticed I was blue

I must have kept on dragging through the business of the day

Without really knowing anything, I hid a part of me away

At five I must have left, there's no exception to the rule

A matter of routine, I've done it ever since I finished school

The train back home again

Undoubtedly I must have read the evening paper then

Oh yes, I'm sure my life was well within its usual frame

The day before you came

I must have opened my front door at eight o'clock or so

And stopped along the way to buy some Chinese food to go

I'm sure I had my dinner watching something on TV

There's not, I think, a single episode of Dallas that I didn't see

I must have gone to bed around a quarter after ten

I need a lot of sleep, and so I like to be in bed by then

I must have read a while

The latest one by Marilyn French or something in that style

It's funny, but I had no sense of living without aim

The day before you came

And turning out the light I must have yawned and cuddled up for yet another night

And rattling on the roof I must have heard the sound of rain

The day before you came

Heartbreaker

2009-05-18T11:29:00.000-07:00

I came across this Rolling Stones record called Heartbreaker. This is a Rock n' Roll classic. It's inspired by 2 different real life tragedies, one is the fatal shooting by NYPD of a boy who was mistakenly thought to have been a bank robber and the second was the death of a 10 year old girl in an alley from a drug overdose.

The chorus references the .44 magnum popularized by the Dirty Harry series, as the "world's most powerful handgun".

The chorus goes:
"Heart breakers with your forty four
I wanna tear your world apart"

Very powerful song, they don't make them like this anymore...

THE ROLLING STONES lyrics - Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo (Heartbreaker)

The police in New York City
They chased a boy right through the park
And in a case of mistaken identity
The put a bullet through his heart
Heart breakers with your forty four
I wanna tear your world apart
You heart breaker with your forty four
I wanna tear your world a part
A ten year old girl on a street corner
Sticking needles in her arm
She died in the dirt of an alleyway
Her mother said she had no chance, no chance!
Heart breaker, heart breaker
She stuck the pins right in her heart
Heart breaker, pain maker
Stole the love right out of you heart
Heart breaker, heart breaker
You stole the love right out of my heart
Heart breaker, heart breaker
I wanna tear your world apart
Doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo...

I Believe in You

2009-05-03T18:19:00.000-07:00

This is undoubtedly my favourite Twisted Sister power ballad. This one and "King of the Fools" are among the deepest songs they've composed in terms of lyrical content. I can really connect with this song in particular.

This song is about one man facing the world on his own, about how hard it is to be alone in face of difficulties and life obstacles, when everybody else believes that you are bound to fail, that you can't succeed. Instead of support and understanding, they turn him down and torture him... It is about the power of faith and support. All he asks for is someone to say that "they believe in him", that they know he can do it. It may sound simple and trivial, but their effect and impact is great and overwhelming.

Great guitar solos, amazing vocals from Dee Snider, dark and deep lyrics and magnificent chorus line, this song is flawless. It is a classic one of a kind metal ballad.

Twisted Sister - I Believe In You lyrics

Why does no one seem to understand
That it's more than love i need
It's so hard to keep your faith alive
When nobody else believes
Oh i need someone there for me
Need someone who can see
Need someone to show me
Ohhhh, that they are there to help me fight
If i fall, to set me right
someone there to hold the light
won't someone say
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
It's so hard to do it all yourself
Fighting for your dreams alone
When the toy's upon the highest shelf
A child's tears soon become stone
Oh why does no one lend a hand
Why does no one understand
Why i need to make a stand
Ohhhh,it's so hard to carry on
When all your hope is gone
All your dreams have come undone
I need to hear
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
Why won't someone say these words
Are they really so absurd?
Must they always go unheard?
Ohhhh, if someone needed the light
I'd be there to help them fight
If they fell, i'd set them right
And then i'd say
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
I believe in you
Won't someone say i believe in you
I believe in you
Won't someone say i believe in you
I need to hear i believe in you
I believe in you

Inigo Montoya (The Princess Bride)

2009-05-03T18:14:00.000-07:00

I think this sentence sums up this character from the classic 80s fairy tale movie "The Princess Bride":
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

Growing up, this was always my favourite. I just love all the characters, especially Inigo Montoya. You gotta love this scene where Iniqo duels the Man in Black. I just love the gentleman conduct between the 2 duelists. You can't but be moved by this highly romanticized story. I also can't help but feel for Iniqo and his quest for revenge for his father who was slain by the 6 fingered man.

Anyway, enough talking. Here's the duel. Enjoy:

Kiss the Girl

2009-05-03T18:13:00.000-07:00

I came across this clip the other day. It brings back old memories of a Disney classic back when i was young. This is a classic, quite a masterpiece. I have seen so many parodies and covers of this song. Well here it is, the one and only, Sebastian trying to lay the mood for Prince Eric to kiss the mermaid Ariel before the days are over and she will turn back into a mermaid and the evil Ursula would own her :)

The Little Mermaid - Kiss The Girl Lyrics
Percussion
Strings
Winds
Words

There you see her
Sitting there across the way
She don’t got a lot to say
But there’s something about her
And you don’t know why
But you’re dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl

Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
It’s possible she wants you, too
There is one way to ask her
It don’t take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl

Sing with me now
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
My, oh, my
Look at the boy too shy
He ain’t gonna kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Ain’t that sad
Ain’t it shame, too bad
You gonna miss the girl

Now’s your moment
Floating in a blue lagoon
Boy, you better do it soon
No time will be better
She don’t say a word
And she won’t say a word
Until you kiss the girl

Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Don’t be scared
You got the mood prepared
Go on and kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Don’t stop now
Don’t try to hide it how
You wanna kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Float along
Listen to the song
The song say kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Music play
Do what the music say
You wanna kiss the girl

You’ve got to kiss the girl
Why don’t you kiss the girl
You gotta kiss the girl
Go on and kiss the girl

A reply to a birthday letter

2009-05-01T17:54:00.000-07:00

I received a beautiful email from one of my oldest and most faithful of friends on my birthday.
Here's the reply i sent back. I think it sums up my feelings on that day:

"My dear old friend,

On my birthday there is one thing that is always certain, year after year, like the certainty of day and the inevitability of night, that i will always receive birthday wishes from you. Going back as far as i can recall, there has never been a year that you have forgotten this day, even long before calendars, reminders, facebook and other digital assistants ever existed, you never failed in remembering this day. I am really grateful and thankful. The question of whether our friendship will ever fade in time, is no longer relevant. It's more of a rhetorical question. You and I have come such a long way. You are the most loyal of my oldest friend. We go back together way back in time. In my experience, it's a luxury to still have a friend like you, to have shared the number of years that we had. I have always treasured that and will keep doing so. True friendship is priceless.

Thank you for the kind and wise words. I have tried to follow my heart and be myself, regardless of what others think. Though as u said, it's not always the easy thing to do. Now i confess that my life may have not always been the way i wished it to be, but the beautiful moments here and there, as little as they may have been, have always triumphed over the bad and dark days as many as they were. I guess with time, there is one lesson, i learned as unimaginable as it may seem. I learned to hope for the best. I learned that as long as there is hope, we have a choice, life goes on and we can wield it the way we choose fit and the rest is yet to be discovered."

You've Got a Friend in Me

2009-04-11T00:03:00.000-07:00

Taken from one of my favorite animations "Toy Story" when i was young, this is such a congenial and simple yet powerful song about true friendship.

Sometimes going back to the innocence of childhood, the simplest form and stripped down version of a human being, can lead us to the answers to all our complicated questions about life and bring the most lasting happiness...

You've Got a Friend in Me(Randy Newman)

You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead,
And you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed
You just remember what your old pal said,
Boy, you've got a friend in me
Yeah, you've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You got troubles,
and I got them too
There isn't anything
I wouldn't do for you
We stick together, we can see it through
Cause you've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me

Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too
Maybe
but none of them
will ever love you
the way I do
it's me and you, boy

And as the years go by,
Our friendship will never die
You're gonna see it's our destiny
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

2009-04-10T23:59:00.000-07:00

An epic scene from one of the greatest comedies "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". Cracks me up every time i hear it.

Book of Armaments (Chapter 2, verses 9-21)
..And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu... [At this point, the friar is urged by Brother Maynard to "skip a bit, brother"]... And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." Amen.

Y i've been silent lately

2009-04-10T23:46:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted anything lately. I used to have so many thoughts to express and share with the world. As time goes, i lose the passion to share my thoughts. I tend to keep more to myself. It's not that i don't have anything to talk about. There will always be something to say. It's just that i lost the passion and excitement i used to have in sharing. In the past, i could walk to the top of the mountain and shout my heart out to everyone to hear. Now, the shout has turned into a whisper and instead of mountains, it's the locked chambers of my mind.

Is it part of growing up? Or is it that life is fading in me? Energy and youth are slipping away. Perhaps i've forgotten who i am, i don't remember where i come from. It's mid-life amnesia, a tree that has been rooted out from paradise and planted again in the desert with the company of the cactus....

I don't know if there are people worth sharing my heart with. Perhaps, i don't care much about sharing my world, as much as i do about listening to what others have to say, to what others have to share. I guess i learned to appreciate that more. I can say that this is a strong sign of maturity. I learned to listen more than to speak...

Psycho Killer, Qu'est-ce que c'est?

2009-03-23T21:14:00.000-07:00

You just have to love Talking Head's signature debut hit "Psycho Killer" from 1977. The song is a semi narrative of a psycho killer and his thoughts while committing murder. I also love the use of french. In the lyrics too. Here is the translation of those those:

Original French Verse:
Ce que j'ai fait ce soir-là
Ce qu'elle a dit ce soir-là'
Réalisant mon espoir
Je me lance vers la gloire... OK

Translation in English:
What I did, that evening
What she said, that evening
Fulfilling my hope
Headlong I go for glory... OK

Once you hear this sing, you're hooked to it, you just can't get enough of this funky tune, especially that amazing bass line. One of the greatest classic rock n roll tunes. I bow down to this masterpiece.

Psycho Killer (Talking Heads)

I can’t seem to face up to the facts.
I’m tense and nervous and I... can’t relax.
I can’t sleep, cause my bed’s on fire.
Don’t touch me I’m a real live wire.

Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est?(What is this)
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
Run run run run run run run away
OH OH OH

Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est?(What is this)
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
Run run run run run run run away
OH OH OH
AY AY AY AY AY WOO

You start a conversation you can't even finish it.
You're talkin' a lot, but you're not sayin' anything.
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed.
Say something once, why say it again?

Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est?(What is this)
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
Run run run run run run run away
OH OH OH

Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est?(What is this)
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
Run run run run run run run away
OH OH OH OH
AY AY AY AY

Ce que j'ai fait, ce soir-là
Ce qu'elle a dit, ce soir-là
Réalisant mon espoir
Je me lance vers la gloire(French:What I did, tonight there which she said, tonight there Realizing my hope I launch myself towards glory) ... okay
YA YA YA YA YA YA YA YA YA YA YA YA
We are vain and we are blind
I hate people when they're not polite

Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est?(What is this)
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
Run run run run run run run away
OH OH OH

Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est?(What is this)
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better
Run run run run run run run away
OH OH OH OH
AY AY AY AY OOOH

Hey hey hey ha

To my match out there, wherever you are...

2009-03-23T21:12:00.000-07:00

As the Beatles song goes: "All you need is love, love is all you need". You can't simply run on passion and hard work. You will always need that other person, that muse, that inspiration that fuels you and keeps you going. Otherwise, life would be incomplete, hollow and empty, and no man can run on an empty gas tank :)

Well what is there to say. I can really say a lot about myself. I am honestly not a big fan of online dating services. I think face to face interaction is worth a thousand words. Nothing can beat the old fashioned way. It worked for thousands of years, didn't it?

I am not one of those conventional people. I think outside the box and i am extremely versatile in what i do and i am always open to learning new things and picking up a new habit. That is what i am looking for, someone who is eager to share her thoughts and who is willing to listen and ask questions. That is the key to any successful relationship. In the end, you want someone you can have a conversation with, regardless of the topic, serious, silly, sad, happy, smart... If it means something to you, then it means a lot to me.

I want someone who can be true to herself. Someone who is not afraid of being by herself, someone who doesn't just follow the rest of the crowd. True happiness is only achievable when you stay true to oneself, when you strip yourself of all those faces and garments that we put up for society to accept us. Just follow your own heart. I know this is hard to do, but when you have that other person whom you trust and who accepts you for who you truly are, then you suddenly become invincible and unbreakable.

I want someone who is not afraid of trying, someone willing to go all the way. That is the secret in finding what you want in life. First attractions are a trick of mind. You never get it right the first time. You have to be willing to explore, jump into the unknown, let go and give it all you got. Nothing comes easy in life. You never know what's on the other side unless you are willing to cross that dark hallway and open the door. No one is going to do it for you. You have to do it yourself...

St. Patrick's Day

2009-03-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

Just thought i'd join the Irish in celebrating their heritage by adding a popular traditional Irish song on my blog with some nice images from the green isle. Happy St. Patrick's Day:

Danny Boy

Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.

And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.

And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

True Heroism and Friendship

2009-03-04T23:05:00.000-08:00

Quoting Youtube user xmarcovinzx:
"GP Holland 1973.

Roger Williamson crashes hard on lap 8, roll his car and catches fire. Only yards away stood a fire tender, but no order was given to stop the race and its driver refused, perhaps rightly, to drive against the direction of the traffic. Worse, marshals with fire extinguishers merely watched as Purley fought a lone battle to right the upturned March. He could hear Williamson inside it. Roger pleaded with him to get him out. Time and again Purley tried to lift the car, but each time he failed. For two laps - at least 2m 47s -the fire was minimal, but then it grew dramatically in intensity. David tried to fight it after grabbing an extinguisher from one marshal, but by then the fire had too strong a hold. As the marshals still remained immobile, appalled spectators began to try and help, unable to believe what they were seeing. Only then were marshals with police dogs galvanized into action, to keep them back. Finally, in the most callous act of cowardice ever seen in motor racing, they moved at last and tried to drag the desolate Purley away. He shrugged them off angrily. Roger was uninjured in the cockpit, but they left him to die of asphyxiation. When they finally arrived, the fire trucks were far, far too late. David Purley : Through his tears he said, "I just couldn't turn it over. I could see he was alive and I could hear him shouting, but I couldn't get the car over. I was trying to get people to help me, and if I could have turned the car over he would have been alright, we could have got him out." Later, when the immediate grief had receded, he admitted, "I didn't even think about the heroism or any of that rubbish. I just did what comes naturally to a trained soldier who sees a fellow in trouble." Ian Philips - journalist and friend : "Purley actually had a conversation with him. David was trying to turn him over and told me afterwards how Roger had said to him, For God's sake, David, get me out of here', and he just couldn't get him out. The circumstances were just appalling. David Purley was later awared the British Imperial George Medal, the second highest (highest being the George Cross) medal that can ever be awarded to a civilian for bravery. "

I saw this video on youtube. I was crying like a baby after seeing it. I could feel Purley's pain and desperation as he tried to rescue Roger Williamson, one failed trial after the other but to no avail, until he angrily gives up feeling utterly helpless all by himself.

I have never seen such powerful act of bravery ever recorded on video. Purley was the only one to stop and give up the race to help his friend. Without hesitation, he parked his car and ran through speeding race cars to the other side of the road where the wreckage lied in flames. Amidst the blazing fire, he rushed to help all by himself, trying to push the car which was lying upside down with Roger trapped inside screaming for help, while the fire marshals and officials stood meters away and watched. Purley had to run to get a fire extinguisher desperately in a futile attempt to put out the fire, as speeding race cars passed by.

Finally Purley gave up disappointed and sad that no one tried to help, that he wasn't able to turn the car over. Watching him give up, breaks my heart and brings me to tears. I can't imagine the pain and suffering he must have felt.

This man is one true hero and a great friend. Even though he wasn't able to save his friend's life, he made the right choice when he forgot about winning and discarded his own safety and single-handedly took on a selfless, hopeless and impossible task.

There is not much one man can do. One man's will and determination may not be able to move mountains but it can touch and inspire countless others to try nevertheless.

Purley may have failed but his try conquers over the cowardice and inaction of others.
He may not have been a race champion but he won the hearts and respect of every man. In the race of life, Purley is the true winner among a sea of losers. Purley proved to be the most humane, the most brave and the most unselfish.

May God bless his soul and may they both rest in peace...

May Angels Lead You In Lyrics
Artist(Band):Jimmy Eat World

There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
So what would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
god couldn't let it live.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.

Rescue me from my prison

2009-02-08T20:46:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i feel stuck in my own prison. I try to find meaning and pleasure in certain things in life but they never satisfy. The only thing that gives me meaning and objective is my job and work. Four years ago, i would have never imagined myself saying this. i never imagined that work would define my whole life. I never wanted it this way. I am also not blind to this predicament. I realize i am held captive by it. It feels like the only thing that makes sense. At least at work, i feel like i am evolving, growing and more capable. When i try, and try harder, i succeed, unlike other areas in my life.

Is it wrong for one not to accept that which works for him? that which provides for him? It is the logical thing. I try to go to new places, i try to hang out with other friends, i try to meet girls but nothing seems to satisfy. It feels like a waste of time. It gets me nowhere. I fear i can't get myself out of this hole i dug myself into.

I wish someone would lift me up from it. I wish someone would find me and save me from this prison. I can't do it by myself. I need someone to show me something else, to show me that there is something else in life. I know life is not just work, but i can't seem to find anything else at the moment.

To anyone out there, if u hear this, please save me, please free me...

It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll

2009-02-01T16:50:00.000-08:00

Perhaps one of AC/DC's most famous signature songs, i thought it's a good song to share during this time of my life. AC/DC says it best about the hardships of following something you love, about the tough road life of rock n roll on their way to fame and rock n roll glory. It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll and there are no short cuts. The obstacles you will face include:

Getting robbed
Getting stoned
Getting beat up, broken boned
Getting had
Getting took
Getting old
Getting grey
Getting ripped off, underpaid
Getting sold, second hand

Well folks it's tougher than it looks. It keeps getting tougher but we keep doing it, coz no one ever said following your dream was easy. The easy thing would be to give up on your dreams, but rock n roll and life is not about taking the easy path. You will be persecuted, underpaid, cheated, used and abused, yet you must never stop. You keep doing your thing. It's a way of life, doing what you believe in. It's the ultimate goal...

It's a long way to the top (If you wanna rock n roll) - AC/DC

Rolling down the highway, going to a show
Stopping on the by ways, playing rock n roll
Getting robbed, getting stoned
Getting beat up, broken boned
Getting had, getting took
I tell you folks, it's harder than it looks
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll
If you think it's easy doing one night stands
Try playing in a rock n roll band
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll
Hotel motel, make you wanna cry
Baby's on the hard sell, know the reason why
Getting old, getting grey
Getting ripped off, underpaid
Getting sold, second hand
That's how it goes playing in a band
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll
If you wanna be a star of stage and screen
Look out it's rough and mean
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll
Gotta tell ya
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll
It's a long way, it's a long way, it's a long way

The Price for Freedom

2009-02-01T14:48:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the price for freedom can be very high. It may demand huge sacrifices on your part. Though some may be born with certain freedoms or have it passed on to them by those who came before them. Others have to earn it, have to fight for it on their own.

I believe freedom is the ultimate goal. One life quest can be dedicated to that. Some people spend their lifetime searching for an objective, a noble cause to pursue, never ever finding one as fulfilling or satisfactory. To others it is quite obvious. Their quest is independence and freedom. It may be a deficiency that they don't have it in the first place, but it is a blessing and a great honor that they have the chance and the privilege to follow such a challenge and to be able to be there when they can claim the victory as theirs.

Freedom is never overrated. It's priceless and timeless. It's a tough pursuit and it's a long and pricey battle. It may eat up years of your life and force you to give a lot of pleasures and riches for its sake. It's a bumpy and tough road, not for the weak at heart, but once you reach the summit, once you reach the top, you'll realize nothing could ever match this feeling, you'll realize you had your moment, you took part in it, you bled and fought for it. And though you lost a lot for its sake, in the end you gained everything. Nothing could ever feel more meaningful. Your life will finally make sense...

Even though i stand from a long distance from my summit, yet now i can spot it far in the horizon. Staring at it from far far away, gives me some warmth and some motivation. Imagine if from this distance, its sight may seem so filling, i wonder how it would feel once I'm there. I'm sure the feeling would be overwhelming.

Forever Angel (Axel Rudi Pell)

[1. Verse:]
You were born on judgement day
But you don't care and go your own way
Your living your life and you made your own laws
Fellowship forever, your freeing your souls

[Bridge:]
Riding with the brothers
Through the wind and the rain
You're proud of your color
and can feel no pain

[Chorus:]
Forever angel
Keep on riding
And fight for your rights
Forever angel
Roaring thunder
Through endless nights

[2. Verse:]
Sometimes it seems that you're dancing with the devil
And you recognize that the price for freedom is high
The brotherhood in your life is your highest call
Your the chosen ones, all for one, one for all

Safest Place on Earth

2009-01-25T23:10:00.000-08:00

Once i was chatting with this American woman at my work place. I remember mentioning my trip back home to Lebanon during my vacation. I usually don't like to discuss my country with Americans who don't know much about it, those who don't know where it is, or those who have incorrect perceptions of it. I feel there's no point trying to educate them. How can u educate someone about something as big as a culture thousands of years old?

Anyway, the thing that struck me most was when she asked me with surprise whether it was safe while i was there. Part of me feels upset when people ask me these stupid questions. I can't cope with ignorance, but somehow i can understand. She doesn't know any better. The truth is i feel safer in my country than i do here. Come to think of it, when i look back, i can't remember a moment i felt unsafe while i was home, especially when i know i have family i can always rely on no matter how bad a situation i get myself in. I never even thought about it while i was there. I never thought what it feels like not to feel safe until i came here.

Somehow, i can talk to my own people, i can connect with them. Even though they can be confrontational, I can still understand them. Can an eagle feel scared while it soars in the sky, where it has no equal? Likewise i can never feel scared in my natural habitat. Living here in the city on the other hand has exposed me to the unpredictability of the streets, of poverty and the roughness of capitalism and the laws of natural selection...

Compared to the latter, i feel my country is the safest place on earth.

How to keep going?

2009-01-25T19:33:00.000-08:00

What keeps you going? What motivates you? What makes you not stop? There must be something in the horizon that guides you, that pulls you closer towards it.

The sailor follows the stars and the sun. The mountain climber sees the peak of the mountain he's climbing. The hiker sees the end of the trail lying somewhere in the horizon. The scientist yearns for the next discovery. The engineer designs his next invention and breakthrough. The traveler plans the next trip, somewhere he's never been to. Everyone needs something to keep him going.

What if as you march ahead in the middle of the desert, the heat gets harder, the dryness gets worse. With no water in sight, nothing except sun and sand, you drop on your knees and finally give up. Then suddenly you spot a tree, a well or a human form somewhere far ahead, and then u stand up again and continue your walk back to life.

I feel like i am lost in the middle of the desert. I pushed on even when things seem leading nowhere. I tried not to give and in the scorching desert heat and a dehydrated body, i didn't give up. I kept going, dragging myself when no salvation was in sight. As i walk harder, i see no end in sight. I start to wonder, maybe i should give up and surrender...

I worked so hard, i improved myself and enhanced my skills. I learned to love my work and gave it my best. In the end, i was hoping for something in return, something to pay me back for my accomplishment, something to make me feel that my hard work was worth something, that it was encouraged and appreciated, yet i got nothing. Now i ask myself, what keeps me going? What's the point of it all? I'm just a sailor lost in the middle of the sea with no land in sight. As i push farther, i seem to get lost even more...

The Loser's Story

2009-01-25T18:53:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered why they always write stories and shoot movies of people who started from nothing and then succeeded in their life and reached their goals working their way up to the top. It's always about the winners, the people who tried and made it.

Have you ever asked yourself: how about the others, the unheard ones? What about those who tried and failed? Are they not worthy of being mentioned of their story being told? Is it always about those who finished the race? What about those who trained hard, day and night and got injured in the middle of the race, never making it to the end.

The general notion is that accomplishment is based on success, the end product, the journey's destination. People value and admire winners. All the others are considered failures. However i believe that failure is by "not trying", and not by "trying and not succeeding". The truth is, life is not always fair. Hard work is not always rewarded appropriately. That belief may stop many from even trying. The true accomplishment is the will and determination to work hard, to exceed your capability and to do something you enjoy and like, regardless of whether you'll make it at the end, or whether your story will make it to the news.

So please don't give me another story or movie about someone who made it, defeated all the odds and surpassed all obstacles and made a fortune or earned fame and power out of nothing. History may treasure those, but i'd rather hear the real every day story of the guy who kept trying even though he never really made it. I can connect with that.

Inauguration Day

2009-01-20T22:49:00.000-08:00

I just watched the historic inauguration speech. You would think that with the new president being sworn in, people would feel more optimistic, yet the day ended with a massive sellout on Wall Street. It was a bad day today. Market sentiment is extremely pessimistic. Still i can't help but feel relieved that Bush & Cheney are finally gone...

Major Disappointments

2009-01-11T22:04:00.000-08:00

THe last year i worked hard. I learned a lot of new skills and managed to produce so many cool applications. The application possibilities that can be built on my work are numerous if exploited and planned properly. There is a lot to be done from here.

I worked in my own time, at home, late at nights. There was a time i got sick from too much work. I was not always encouraged to pursue these ideas. I did it mostly on my own. I enjoyed doing it. I guess that was the major driving factor. When the time came, I demonstrated my work and i was able to impress. None could deny my achievements and breakthroughs. It was openly admitted by my superiors...

THen at the end of the year when i thought i'd be appropriately rewarded, and my hard work acknowledged, i was given nothing, absolutely nothing. I feel so disappointed. I also feel insulted, that by not being compensated for my extra hard work, it makes me feel of less value to my company. They send the wrong message, that hard work is not worth it, that when i give more, i don't get anything in return. They have offended my own work, by belittling and ignoring its importance.

It really breaks me to have reached this point. I have to live with that for now, but i can't wait for the day when i have to quit and change my job to something better, that my employers will finally realize how stupid they were, they will realize how important i was to them. I honestly pity the person who'll try to fill in on my salary. Only then, will they realize their negligence, disrespect and stupidity.

We all want to be fairly treated. We want what's rightfully ours. Hard work should be rewarded and loyalty cherished. You may enjoy what you do, but that is one factor of many other factors essential for a job. If you are not being appreciated, and adequately rewarded, then you should move on, somewhere where you are valued and properly treated...

My artistic side revived

2009-01-11T21:41:00.000-08:00

While i was back home, i tried to pick up on one of my hobbies which i enjoy quite a lot and i really don't get the chance to explore here in the States, especially when most of my time is devoted to my job. It has to do with my artistic side, a side every one of us has, a side which constantly needs to be explored and nourished.

It had been a while since i last made a clay sculpture, precisely 3 and a half years long. Some people may just give up and move on after this long break, but i chose to try once more to prove i still have it in me, to prove that art is instinctive and not a learned skill. There is still basics to be learned but the rest, you pick up with actual practice and you never forget.

I chose a favourite sculpture of mine. A statue i had already tried to make 2 times before. It was the Rodin's "Thinker" statue. THis is the third time i do it. THe first time i couldn't finish it and it solidified beyond change. THe second time i finished it but then i accidently broke it. THe third time was the charm. It was more challenging to work on it in a shorter period of time and without any 3d model but a bunch of pictures I donwloaded from the internet of the statue taken from different angles. The result was a masterpiece I am quite proud of. I had failed before but i kept trying until I finally got it right. I surpassed the odds and i was victorious.

It feels great to know i can still carve statues. Even though it's been a long time since i've worked on one. Time is never a factor when it comes to talent. As they say, it's inborn. It's there deep down. All you have to do is give it a chance to surface and develop. I do it for myself mostly, not for money or recognition. It gives me peace and it opens my mind to a different way of thinking. To be able to create and bring something beautiful to life. THat is a great ability. It's one of those divine qualities of man...

Sculpture requires a lot of patience. THere's a lot of work involved. I always admired the idea of the renaissance man, like those people back in the days like Leonardo Da Vinci. THey were scientists, artists, philosophers, mathmatecians, astronomers, anatomists and engineers all at once. THey seem so well rounded. I like to be like that. I have my artistic side, my engineer side and my writing skills. It makes me feel complete and fully using all my potentials. Wish i had more time to explore each trait...

I left it back home on the shelves of my bedroom. It will stand there for years to come, meant to live and last longer than i would, to survive the test of time...

Trip to Paris Evaluation

2009-01-11T21:12:00.000-08:00

I had always wanted to go somewhere new, to be entirely by myself and manage without any help. I guess it was always like a test. Though it is really not so hard to do, especially when you're going to an extremely tourist friendly city, but still if you had known me more than 5 years ago, you'd realize how far i've come. My trip to Paris was like that. It had several objectives and this was one of them.

Overall this trip was a great success. I made the most out of it. I had organized it quite well from the beginning to the end. I was able to pull it off. THere were a few set backs on the way, but i pulled it through. I proved myself. I wasn't doing it for others. I did it for myself. I am quite satisfied. My greatest joy and fulfillment comes from my independence. It's amazing what a single mind free from external control can do when it is left to thrive and flourish. TO be able to control one's fate and plan one's future the way you like is really indescribable. Freedom is never overrated.

It was an amazing adventure I had embarked on. I learned much from it. I also explored my capabilities, and my ability to adapt and survive. Now the door has been opened. THe possibilies are numerous. I should not fear change. I have been tested and i have succeeded. THere are other different challenges to come. I should not fear. Even by myself, i can do it. I can beat the odds. I can conquer the obstacles, and when i reach the finish line, i know i can look back to my magical journey with great confidence and satisfaction, knowing i made it and i made it my way...