The Can Opener Boy Translations

Dedications

2009-06-12T10:18:00.004-07:00

That's me. I'm the blurry guy in the orange shirt and bright-yellow hat in the left-edge of the picture. I'm finishing my final kick in my first ever 5k race.

I've been running for about a year now, and tomorrow I'm running my first ever half-marathon. 13.1 miles. They say the 13 miles are easy -- it's the 0.1 that's the killer. I started running partly to get in shape, partly as an exercise in self-denial, but mainly I did it for me. I've done so many things for other people -- and I'm not talking altruism, I'm talking people-pleasing for wrong reasons: trying to earn the approval of others. But running? I started that for *me* -- as a way to love and take care of myself.

Following tradition, at tomorrow's race I'm dedicating my miles:

Mile 0 --> 1: Me for getting there in the first place
Mile 1 --> 2: My wife Cathy for supporting me
Mile 2 --> 3: My friend Tom Bartel for inspiring me
Mile 3 --> 4: My Dad
Mile 4 --> 5: My Mom
Mile 5 --> 6: My sister Bobbi
Mile 6 --> 7: My sister JoAnn
Mile 7 --> 8: My sister Marilyn
Mile 8 --> 9: My sister Leslie
Mile 9 --> 10: Me for getting there!
Mile 10 --> 11: My friend Tom for inspiring me!!
Mile 11 --> 12: Cathy for supporting me!!!
Mile 12 --> 13: Me for getting there!!!!
and that last little bit from 13 --> 13.1: My final kick is for God who has created me and is giving me the ability to continue "running into myself"!

~ Keith

Am I Acceptable to God?

2009-05-23T09:59:00.005-07:00

I found this excellent post over on Inward/Outward. It re-centered me again to what is important. I think part of what I like most about it is that there are no "do it this way instead" prescriptions -- it is more stream of consciousness.

~ Keith

Effortlessly

2009-05-10T10:00:00.003-07:00

Sister Hazel is one of my favorite bands. Their album Chasing Daylight is classic. And this song is just about my favorite of all right now. It is where I'm at in life and loving it.

Effortlessly

I won't be so hard on me today
I start to take myself so seriously
Shouldn't be so hard just to be effortlessly
It shouldn't be so hard to keep it together
It shouldn't be so hard to say the right things to you
It shouldn't be so hard just to be effortlessly

Weightless worries fall away
Wasted pools of energy
I want to know I want to breathe

Effortlessly - just be
I want to be effortlessly
I want to be

It shouldn't be so hard to be inspired
It shouldn't be so hard just to write this song
It shouldn't be so hard to be wrong or to agree
It shouldn't be so hard to change the world
It shouldn't be so hard just to change your mind
It shouldn't be so hard just to be effortlessly

Weightless worries fall away
Wasted pools of energy
I want to know I want to breathe

Effortlessly - just be
I want to be effortlessly
I want to be

I won't be so hard on me today
I start to take myself so seriously
Shouldn't be so hard just to be effortlessly

Effortlessly
I want to know
I want to breathe
I want to simplify my needs
I want to live inside this moment
And just be effortlessly
Just be
I wanna be effortlessly
I want to be

~ Keith

Say Yes

2009-04-21T13:41:00.000-07:00

Hat tip to Jen Lemen

~ Keith

The Story Within the Story

2009-03-21T11:14:00.002-07:00

I am reposting this from Inward/Outward:

=-=-=-=-=

By David Wade

I no longer open my quarterly 401K reports. So much of my account’s value has been lost that if I were closer to retirement age the prospect of my working at McDonald’s into my 70’s would be unavoidable.

Despite all of the news coverage on the financial crisis, I feel a vital interpretive element has been missed. It has to do with the story within the story. It is often the story within a story that reveals a deeper truth about the whole. The overweening hubris of our nation’s top financial corporations, exemplified by the millions of dollars of bonuses issued with bail-out money, along with the other accustomed accouterments of the privileged, should really come as no surprise. History is papered with the overblown egos and Marie Antoinette-styled sensitivities of the rich.

Yet we are America. Our founding was driven, in part, by a reaction against European “blue-bloodedness.” George Washington was “first among equals.” This land is your land, this land is my land. Yet during the recent Presidential campaign, “socialist” was an epithet used to eviscerate any populist economic sentiment––mostly by people, aside from the unbelievably cynical news hounds who threw the term meatily to the masses, who have no idea what the term really implies. And while the lifestyles of the sharks of Wall Street are protected, labor unions are vilified and disempowered in the name of financial stability.

Who’s to blame? Who can be held to account for sleeping at the switch while our nation was plundered by robber barons?

We are. The church. We’ve failed our nation.

For the last 40 years, the American church has been dancing to the drum of political power. Paranoid and pliable, it has promoted the issues its masters have required. And in doing so, lost its prophetic vision—sold for a few seats at the table of kings. And to echo the words of Psalm 2, the powerful now just laugh at us for being so gullible. What a bunch of rubes! Get them to focus solely on abortion and homosexuality. Make these their major issues, get their leaders all lathered up, marching and praying, hateful and fearful. And we’ll plunder the coffers of the American Dream. We will run this nation any way we please––secular, misogynistic, violent, imperial. And the impotent Church will beg for scraps from our tables, grateful to receive a White House Christmas card.

We’re all to blame. Left and Right. We’ve all been caught up in the game. We’ve made clowns out of servants like Jeremiah Wright. Where was the Left to come to his defense? Silent. Where was the progressive church when Prop 8 was on the ballot in California? Defending Rick Warren’s right to deliver an over-eager Inaugural prayer. Politeness replacing prophecy. Political correctness replacing holy zeal. The Left has as much to answer for as the Right.

This is the story within the story––the news that’s not being reported. And thank goodness! How much more discredited does the church need to become? As a pastor, I say let it go all the way down. Megachurch marketing, Focus on the Family, prayer cabals at the White House and the Pentagon, the Rapture industry, let it all go.

And let’s start anew. Let’s find our voice again. With no strings attached. Let’s minister to the newly disenfranchised, the despondent, the truly left-behind. Let’s be the church in the street, on the assembly line, in the food stamp line. Let’s call new generations, young and old, to a transformational journey. Let’s abandon a false dream, and find the one nestled in God’s heart.

David Wade writes from his home in Virginia Beach, where he facilitates The Welcome Table on Saturday evenings at 6 in the chapel on the campus of Virginia Wesleyan College. He says, “We’re just a tiny piece, but, together, maybe we can find this new dream.” If you’re ever in the area, join them in the search.

=-=-=-=-=-=

What do you think?

~ Keith

True Discipline

2009-03-14T08:49:00.003-07:00

I just finished week 1 of a 14 week training program preparing me to run the Helvetia Half-Marathon on June 13. It was cold & windy -- drizzly. Today I felt faster, but also felt I was running harder -- maybe it was more difficult to slow down due to the wind and drizzle? Plus, this current week has been 30 min workouts (2 running, 2 cycling). Today was my "endurance" run of only 2 miles. Yet when I think back to a year ago, the idea of running 2 miles at all was out of my imagination, let alone running it @ a <9:30 pace! Was I running too hard? Maybe.

A book I recently read and thoroughly enjoyed is The Zen of Running by Fred Rohe. It is (c) 1972 and very hippie trippie -- but I liked it. A lot! Fred says:

your creation of you
as a runner
will be more pleasurable
as you progress
by running less

the key to the "progress by less" method
is always to do
less than you think you can.

if you think you can gallop right away
just take a walk.

thinking you can run around the block,
just run down to the corner.

you have the rest of your life
to progress into long distance running.
why strain, make pain?
why not lope along,
free and easy,
doing it like a dance?
when you start doing it
you'll see that running
is naturally hard enough
all by itself
without you creating
additional hardship for yourself.

This got me thinking about following my training program. I know I can run farther than 2 miles. But today I disciplined myself to only run 2 miles.

I used to think discipline was hard; doing something difficult because it is the right thing to do. But now I see true discipline is even harder; doing less because it is the right thing to do.Week 1 of 14 down. 13 to go -- one more week for every mile I'll run on June 13th.

~ Keith

Introversion & Extroversion: Recent Social Constructs?

2009-02-21T12:09:00.012-08:00

I read something yesterday which made me stop and think about our society's current views on the ideas of Introversion vs Extroversion. The book is The Great Emergence* by Phyllis Tickle. She writes this on p132:

"The twentieth century in the United States was characterized by many things, none of them more obvious than our originally slow, and eventually rapid, shift from being a rural to being an urban people. As the decades rolled along, more and more of us left the open spaces of pastures and plains for the defined ones of streets and neighborhoods. We laid aside as well the isolation and occasional socializing of country living for the constant companionship and unavoidable socializing of town and city life. Before the century's end, millions of us would not even be living in suburban neighborhoods any longer, but rather in the much tighter confines of apartment buildings or condo complexes or multifamily buildings. Likewise, instead of earning our livelihood in solitary or near-solitary labor, more and more of us were earning it in offices or factories or commercial enterprises where we were in constant and fairly intimate contact with one another for the bulk of every working day."

This made me think of some implications of her assertions.

Contrasted with the fast-paced image cuts of MTV and action-packed movies of today, old movies seem boring to some people. In fact, many people today have become so used to such fast-paced media bombardment many of us suffer from micro-boredom. You know, using your cell phone to check your eMail and update your status on Twitter and FaceBook, and check your MySpace...multiple times...in the unbearably long 5 minutes you spend standing in the checkout line at the grocery store! I do that. It is sort of addicting. It's why we call Blackberries "crackberries" and iPhones "crackphones" and FaceBook "crackbook".But all this activity sometimes wears me out. I like older movies because they move more slowly. I enjoy current movies as well -- but older movies don't bug me the way they seem to bug so many people. I'm neither an "old movies only" person nor a "new movies only" person. I like both-and instead of either-or.

Like many people I know, I dislike being labeled. Sometimes labels can be helpful, other times they can be too compartmentalizing. A good example is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

It is very either-or, but has a continuum between poles which helps the both-ands among us feel less pigeon-holed.

And all this made me think of a good friend of mine who is an extrovert. He is a year or two older than me and for his 40th birthday, his wife threw him a surprise party with 50-60 of his closest friends. He had a GREAT time and went on and on about how it was the best thing she'd ever done for him ever! I was at the party for a number of hours, and enjoyed myself, but stayed on the periphery. At one point I turned to my wife and said "For my 40th, please don't do this to me." She smiled, nodded, and said "Of course not!". She knows me. I like that.

On the right-hand side of this blog, if you scroll down, you will see that I score as an iNFj on Myers-Briggs. The letter "i" is lower case because my tendency to introversion is not strong. In fact, some people are surprised when they hear me say I am an introvert, because I am fairly gregarious. The key for me is long times spent with crowds of people drains my batteries, but when I am tired emotionally and spiritually, it is alone time which recharges my batteries.

Thinking backward in Ms. Tickle's time line, I wonder what my friend and I would have been like 100-150 years ago? Would he have been such an extrovert? Would I be so inclined to pull away and be alone? Perhaps the either-or-ness of the Myers-Briggs doesn't reflect true human nature and is instead more subtly influenced by the sociological changes in the recent 150 years than I originally thought.

So I wonder if the concepts of Introversion and Extroversion, as we know them today, are likewise fairly recent social constructs.

What do you think?

~ Keith

* I won't go into the details of why this is a wonderful book, but if you are a thoughtful follower of Jesus who would like a concise yet thorough historical perspective on how our current situation in Western / North American / U.S. Christianity fits into the bigger sociological context within world history you really do owe it to yourself to run out and buy it right now.

(this post is a documenting of a stream-of-thought which took around a minute to think through and over an hour to type up. It is a small example of what my friend Lisa calls "The Mind of Keith")

Personal Best

2009-02-07T10:28:00.004-08:00

In this post I blogged about my first-ever 10 mile run. It was awesome -- a 43rd birthday present to myself. It took me almost exactly 2 hours. That's a 12-minute mile. Since that time I've finished the 3rd 10-week Podrunner Intervals program and have progressed to running 10k (6.2 miles) in approx 60 minutes. I finished the book Running for Mortals.

I've now begun reading Marathoning for Mortals. I've set a goal for myself to run the Portland Marathon in October 2010 just before my 45th birthday.

Along the way, I want to run for fun and test my limits -- set new PBs "Personal Best"s. Today I did that. I ran 9.9 miles in 1:41:32 -- shaving almost 2 minutes off my per-mile pace!

Here's my route:
View Larger Map

~ Keith

PS -- for those, like Brett, who are curious: there is no particular significance to the fact that my routes start and stop near a cemetery. It's just where I happen to live! =O)

I Am A Runner

2009-02-01T12:52:00.005-08:00

I am a runner.
I never thought I'd say that. At least, I never thought I'd be able to say that with a shred of integrity. I can remember being around 5 or 6 years old, in the loft of our barn, running around. Not running laps, not exercising; just running around. I don't remember what imagination-laden scenario I was playing out. All I remember is running and playing. Things changed after that though.

Growing up I never saw myself as athletic because so many other kids were so much better. I can remember at school in P.E. class and assemblies and sporting events -- especially football and track -- noticing how other kids' bodies were changing. Muscles were growing and kids who'd been puny were now solid, with visible veins standing out on their arms. I wasn't puny any more either. You can see the difference between 7th grade skinny kid and 8th grade pudgy kid.

In 8th grade I wanted to have new friends and have a body like other kids did. I knew I wasn't fast enough for the track team, so I decided to try out for cross-country. We did lots of training runs and stuff. I remember the thrill of being at the end of the line and having to sprint to the front and yell "GO!" so the next back-of-the-line kid would have to sprint forward, and so on. I was breathless and tired, but I was doing something and it felt good. Until we did real races. Against ourselves or other teams, it didn't matter. I was always either last place or 2nd to last. As I watched the other kids' smooth-running bodies I felt "less than" again. Rather than a part of a team, I felt like a liability to the team. Shameful confessions time: At one race, I was tired and didn't want to continue, so I pretended to turn my ankle so I could quit. Another time, I pretended to have lime kicked into my eyes and in my faked blindness/pain I was once again excused from finishing.

That was the last time I ran competitively, unless you count the Navy where every year I had to run 1.5 miles in 15 minutes or less to pass a physical fitness test. I always did it, but also always came very close to puking.

I've never been a super active person, and my all-time high weight is 250# in Feb of 2002. I did WeightWatchers and got as low as 183# in mid 2003. But I put almost all the weight back on. Just like I always have as I've yo-yo'd over the years.

But then a couple years ago when I turned 40, something inside my heart clicked. I finally began to care about myself in a healthy way. Cathy'd been telling me for years I should take better care of myself -- I finally started listening. But it was a rocky start. I tried to run and lift weights and diet and all sorts of things but never really got anywhere but worn out and depressed.

Then we moved to Oregon in August '07 and it is like God brought my heart to life again. In Feb '08 I began learning from God how to listen to my hunger/satiety. By June I'd gone from 220# to 206#, and was feeling good. The way I eat now had nothing to do with what the scale said. The latter was simply a measure of the former -- but not a driving force like it used to be. But I also wanted to DO something active, just for fun and to help my cardiovascular system get healthy. So I started walking and running. I blogged here about finishing a 10-week training program and running a 5K. And then again here about finishing the 2nd 10-week training program and running 8K and then celebrating my 43rd birthday by running 10 miles!

Yesterday I completed the 3rd 10-week training series and can now run 10K in around 60 minutes. But there are no more 10-week training series. So what is next? I bought a book called Running for Mortals and have set my sights on running the Portland Marathon in Oct 2010. Between now and then I would like to run a half-marathon and also run a few local 5K or 10K races. This morning I read the first two chapters and cried 3 times.

The first tears hit me as I read this in the forward:

...we really learned everything we need to know about running before we even got to kindergarten. As soon as we learned how to walk we wanted to run. We knew as toddlers that the best way to get from where we were to where we wanted to be was to run there. It still is!
We knew as small children that running for no apparent reason at all was one of life's greatest pleasures. It still is.
The door would open, and we would run out. We ran around. We chased. We ran to and from. We ran until we couldn't run anymore, and then we stopped. That's still a pretty good plan.

It doesn't matter that I've lost 40# in 12 months. It doesn't matter that I am 43 years old and in the best shape of my life. It doesn't matter if I win any races, or even if I ever compete! What matters is that I have fallen in love again with the simple joy I first learned as that 5 year old boy in the loft of a barn -- just running because I could.

I am a runner.

~ Keith

Jesus Coaches Football

2009-01-15T11:04:00.002-08:00

I don't usually follow sports at all. I watch the SuperBowl for the commercials, and the chips & dip.

But Brant posted this article and I read it. And I want you to read it.

~ Keith

The Demands of Living Seriously

2008-12-13T08:51:00.003-08:00

By Thomas Merton (hat-tip to Inward/Outward)

A great deal of virtue and piety is simply the easy price we pay in order to justify a life that is essentially trifling. Nothing is so cheap as the evasion purchased by just enough good conduct to make one pass as a ’serious person.’

And when you come to look more deeply into our present condition you find that many forms of ’seriousness’ and ‘achievement’ come to this in the end. In our society, a society of business rooted in puritanism, based on a pseudo-ethic of industriousness and thrift, to be rewarded by comfort, pleasure, and a good bank account, the myth of work is thought to justify an existence that is essentially meaningless and futile.

There is, then, a great deal of busy-ness as people invent things to do when in fact there is very little to be done. Yet we are overwhelmed with jobs, duties, tasks, assignments, “missions” of every kind. At every moment we are sent north, south, east and west by the angels of business and art, poetry and politics, science and war, to the four corners of the universe to decide something, to sign something, to buy and sell. We fly in all directions to sell ourselves, thus justifying the absolute nothingness of our lives.

Some make it their business to cover their own emptiness by pointing out the fraudulency of others, but always the emphasis is on the fact that others have nevertheless done something, even though it was a matter of perpetrating a fraud. They have perpetrated something. And so the myth prospers. No matter how empty our lives become, we are always at least convinced that something is happening because, indeed, as we so often complain, too much is happening. There is so much to be done that we do not have time to live.

But it is precisely this idea that a serious life demands ‘time to live’ that is the root of our trifling. In reality, what we want is time in which to trifle and vegetate without feeling guilty about it. But because we do not dare try it, we precipitate ourselves into another kind of trifling: that which is not idle, but dissimulated as action.

Thomas Merton (1915-1968) was a writer and Trappist monk at Our Lady of Gethsemani Abbey in Kentucky. This piece is from his book, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander.

~ Keith

Spend Less, Love More

2008-12-06T09:50:00.001-08:00

~ Keith

How Will They Know We Are His Disciples?

2008-11-04T19:57:00.005-08:00

I'm sitting on the couch watching the 2008 Presidential Election Coverage on PBS. Jim Lehrer just announced that California & Florida have just been "called" and it appears Barack Obama will be the 44th President of the United States.

But I'm here to tell you why, in a very real way, it doesn't matter who won.

I've never thought of myself as "centrist" per se, but I find myself in the unique position where about 1/2 the people I know and care about have been supporting John McCain. The other half have been supporting Barack Obama. That is no big deal to me. What floors me is this: the McCain supporters have been saying really mean-spirited things about those who support Obama. The Obama supporters have been saying arrogantly smug and hurtful things to and about those who support McCain.

It has been the most divisive time I've seen
especially amongst people who say
they are followers of Jesus,
and this saddens me.

As we move forward in one country on one planet, here are some thoughts on why it does not matter who won: we are all still called to (a) support the government, the authority under which God has placed us, and (b) defer to one another in love, promoting unity instead of division. For more on that, I refer you to Paul of Tarsus' letter to the followers of Jesus living in Rome. If you read chapters 13-15, the message is clear: our call is to love one another and support one another and find places of unity instead of spouting vitriol.

Are you someone who had been supporting Obama? Rejoice in his victory, yes. But mourn with those who mourn and show respect and love for your brothers and sisters who supported McCain. Please don't say "I told you so" or anything like it and hurt those whom Jesus loves.

Are you someone who had been supporting McCain? Mourn his defeat, yes. But rejoice with those who rejoice and show respect and love for your brothers and sisters who supported Obama. Please don't grow bitter or say malignant things about those whom Jesus loves.

In his concession speech in Arizona, John McCain said of President-Elect Obama: "I pledge my part to do everything in my power to aid him. I urge all Americans who supported me...to find ways to come together...whatever our differences."

The world is watching and it would be a tremendous shame if we as followers of Jesus living in America allowed the current divisiveness to get any worse. Rather, wouldn't it be wonderful to see unity and love for one another reigning in our hearts. After all, Jesus Himself said

"They'll know you are my followers by this:
when you love one another."

Peace,

~ Keith

Miles & Stones

2008-11-01T08:43:00.005-07:00

Today's blog post is a milestone. This image calls to mind a story of the ancient people of Israel. They were crossing a border together for the final time before settling in a new land. They took stones and stacked them to form a monument -- a milestone. When future generations saw the stones and asked about them, parents would have an opportunity to tell the story of how God provided and led them to a safe place in a new land. This blog post marks a special day in my story, and is an opportunity for me to give credit where credit is due and thank God for enabling me and leading me safely into a new land, figuratively and literally.Today is a milestone day. It is not my first birthday back in Oregon, but it feels manifestly more significant for some reason. Perhaps because it is my first birthday after really settling in here.

Today is, in fact, my 43rd birthday. I mention the number because to some people (not me!) that seems old. =O) I began celebrating this morning by going for a long run before sunrise.

About 10 weeks ago, I blogged about the Interval Training Program I have been using to reach my short-term goal of getting into better shape and my long-term goal of developing a lasting habit of regular aerobic exercise. I've now been running 3 times a week for the past 20 weeks! I've lost 19 lbs and have learned some things about myself and about running. Yesterday I finished the 10th week in the 2nd series, and am looking forward to beginning the 3rd 10-week series on Monday morning.

Today is also a milestone day in my physical fitness level. When I was in my late 20s (back when fewer people than today thought I was "old") I had begun to run after school, and while I never really enjoyed it per se, I did it. My main route at the time was around 3-4 miles, and once during that season of my life I went for a "long" run and went just under 10 miles -- or so I remembered until today. Here is my route from that day back in 1992:
View Larger MapAccording to Google Maps, that route is only 5.8 miles. Still a good run, but not quite as long as I had remembered.

This is significant to me today because my intent in going for a run this morning was to do another 10 mile-run, 16 years later. Here is my route from today:
View Larger MapAccording to Google Maps, it is 10.1 miles.

This means I am in better shape today than I was when I was 27 and in college. I've weighed less than I do today, but right now is the best physical condition I've ever experienced in terms of stamina and stick-to-it-iveness.

Another year has now passed. This birthday holds a special feeling, having come home to Oregon. Running has become a good habit, and I ran more than 10 miles today (making more than 25 miles for the week!). No surprise to me, then, that today is the 1st of November -- long seen by celtic cultures as a liminal day; a crossing-over day.

~ Keith

Why I Do What I Do

2008-10-16T09:17:00.004-07:00

The company I work for, Willamette Valley Hospice recently completed a project called "Faces of Hospice" which was written up in Salem's newspaper. I'm including the link below, and hope you will take a moment or two to read the brief article. There is also a short video. Together these offer a glimpse into the incredibly rewarding world I've been working in for the past year.

Since he gave his permission to publish his name I can also tell you one of the featured patients (pictured above), was Mr. Walter Bowden,a man I had the honor of caring for in his last 6 months.

To read the article and view the video, you can click here. I've also inculded the video here:

I'm so thankful for the encouragement so many of you have given me in my work and the move to Oregon to begin this next chapter of my career.

Warmly,

~ Keith

What Does "Pro-Life" Really Mean?

2008-10-08T10:58:00.006-07:00

What does the term "Pro-Life" mean to you?

For a long time now, there seem to have been only two camps: "Pro-Life" and "Pro-Choice" (or, depending on which camp you're in, those translate to "Right-Wing Religious Wacko" or "Baby Killer"). I think, though, that being "Pro-Life" is a much more far-reaching term...or should be!

Some years ago I decided to leave the world of Two-Party Politics. I was tired of the dichotomies I see in each party on this issue of valuing life. The Republican Party says "Abortion is murder" but out the other side of the elephant's mouth comes the phrase "Capital Punishment is OK!". On the other hand, the Democratic Party says "We have to defend a woman's right to choose!" but out the other side of the donkey's mouth comes the statement "Capital Punishment is murder!"

Today I give a respectful hat tip to one of my heroes, Rose for this (pdf) link to a wonderful synopsis of what "Pro-Life" really means. I encourage you to go read that link, then come back here and read the poem I was inspired to write this morning. I also wonder what you think of it all? What does "pro life" mean to you?

Seed splits open;
life sprouts from within;
mystery becomes mystery.

We are,
all of us,
powerful beyond measure;
able to achieve so much
on behalf of
those who are voiceless
No matter what age they are,
no matter what they've done,
no matter what:
we all matter.

because

We are,
all of us,
valuable beyond measure;
unique and irreplaceable.
No matter what age we are,
no matter what we've done,
no matter what:
we all matter.

Seed falls to the ground;
death becomes life;
from mystery to mystery.

~ Keith

Autumn at The Orchard

2008-09-20T11:10:00.002-07:00

Autumn is here with its crisp cool mornings and early twilight.

I think of Autumn as a season of nesting and readying for hibernation; of pruning back and storing up. In order to store, one must harvest. Autumn is about bringing in the fruits of the year's labors, to sustain one's family through the winter. Autumn is for gently removing bulbs from the ground and placing them in warm safe pots so they can be replanted and bloom again next spring. Outwardly, autumn seems a dormant time. Inwardly, preparation work teems at the cellular level.

Recently we received our official release paperwork, affiliating The Orchard with the AVC. We'll be applying for our non-profit status in Oregon, and Federal 501(c)(3) status, speaking with potential board members, figuring out by-laws, State & Federal regulations, trademark agreements and liability insurance.

All of this is necessary work, but it is also secondary -- the deep, cellular work of formation is continuing right on schedule. We're not driven onward by goals and agendas and two-year plans. We're drawn forward gently by the Voice of The Master Who speaks to us of purpose and potential; of hearth and home.

Autumn is here with its golden-leaved changes, layered-warmth walkings, and hope-filled ponderings.

~ Keith

Honorable Anniversary

2008-09-06T08:12:00.003-07:00

25 years ago today I joined the United States Navy. Can you find me in this picture?19 years ago today, I was handed one of the most important documents ever -- it even says so right at the top!~ Keith

The Discipline of Self-Denial

2008-08-22T16:18:00.004-07:00

I've blogged a few times re: my fitness level. Usually I do this after overeating and feeling depressed, or just before I start some new diet or exercise program. Then I feel bad when I don't follow through.

This time I waited until I was done!

For the past 10 weeks, I have been following an interval training program I found online:It has been a very challenging time, but this morning I finished their introductory program:As a graduation present I am going out tonight and buying new running shoes!

The cool thing is, while I have lost weight and do feel better, my motivation was not to lose weight or feel better -- those were really just byproducts.

So why am I doing this? I am doing this because I love Cathy and I want to take care of myself for her sake.

It is also, therefore, an excellent exercise in self-denial and discipline. You see, I don't really like running. I would much rather stay in bed and sleep. But in denying my own desires, and instead intentionally doing something for someone else, I am putting myself in touch with the attitude Jesus has. Maybe my self-denial in this area will help me put others first in my neighborhood, or my workplace, or in other areas of my life as well. That is my hope.

And in looking back at the last 10 weeks, I see I have reached a new level of discipline. When I was in the Navy (25 years ago!), "Boot Camp" was 8 weeks long, and it was the hardest physical activity I'd ever done. The endurance test at the end of the 8th week was running 1.5 miles in 15 minutes or less.

As of today, I have been exercising aerobically for 30+ minutes, first thing in the morning, three times per week, for 10 weeks straight! In fact, for the past 3 weeks, I have run a full 5k every Monday, Wednesday and Friday!

Aside from feeling good physically, I feel good emotionally -- about the ability I apparently do have to become more disciplined. I honestly didn't think I had it in me, and have surprised myself. What has kept me going is my love for Cathy and as I set out on my warm-up walk each time, I reflect on the self-denial aspect and ask God to strengthen me to be more like Jesus. If the past 10 weeks are any indicator, He does answer prayer and He does what He says.

Now -- do you think I am jinxing myself if I tell you that on Monday I plan on going to the next level?~ Keith

Summer Ride

2008-08-17T13:42:00.005-07:00

Here is my route from today's ride.

View Larger Map

And as an added bonus, I rolled 15,000 miles -- that's 4,300 miles since I bought her in Nov '06!

~ Keith

Wordle

2008-08-02T08:45:00.006-07:00

My blog as a wordle. ht to Jon.

~ Keith

PS -- I love how the words-in-proximity say:

"church sharing love models leadership" and how "ouch" is so close by.

N is Here

2008-07-25T15:58:00.000-07:00

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~ Keith

Vulnerability Trumps Insecurity

2008-06-28T08:25:00.008-07:00

Some time ago, I had reviewed my bogging practices and noticed I had been way too revealing (of my and my wife's private life) in a public setting. I think blogs are a good way to share a bit of one's private life -- but I also think there is a limit. Some stuff just goes in my journal -- other stuff can go on a blog. There is sometimes a fine line between which goes where. This line is determined by each individual blogger. I contemplated my own fine lines in No More Blogging In My Underwear.

This morning I read the following in Celtic Daily Prayer:

It is because of the refusal to be vulnerable that, far too often, instead of enjoying friendship and intimacy with those around us, we find ourselves fencing with each other, using our talents, achievements, and strengths as weapons. To be vulnerable in the true sense does not mean that someone must become a doormat, a weakling, devoid of all pride, going out of his way to let others know all of his faults and weaknesses. Nor is vulnerability to be confused with the idea of 'letting-it-all-hang-out', or any other form of psychological strip-tease. To be vulnerable is to be strong enough to be able to present ourselves without false props, without an artificial display of our credentials. In brief, to be vulnerable is to be strong enough to be honest and tender. Like Jesus, the person who is vulnerable is a person who cares enough to let himself be weak, precisely because he does care.
~ Ronald Rolheiser, The Restless Heart

This was refreshing for me to read and reflect upon.

In the past, I am sad to say, my vulnerability was tied to my insecurity and desire to be liked. I thought perhaps if I was transparent enough people would be impressed by my vulnerability and therefore respect me as a very spiritual person. I wore my vulnerability like a badge of honor for others to see -- in a weirldy ironic (and oxymoronic?) borrowing from Rolheiser's imagery, it was as if I used my ability to be transparent as a weapon for fencing.

In Rolheiser's comment I see a new and better way. Since the time of my previous post mentioned above, I like to think I have begun to emulate this; that I care enough about the person with whom I am sharing that I will actually share the real me. But not in an attempt to prove anything or win any awards. It is not about me being liked by them: it is not about me. It is about the other person being cared about enough by me that I am able to, for their sake, not hide myself.
~ Keith

A Bee on my Belly

2008-05-31T16:38:00.004-07:00

I took a ride today with a friend from work. We cruised from Salem down some back roads to Albany, where we had a great burger at the Callapooia Brewing Company. Then we headed East of Hwy 5 and went North through the four "S" towns: Scio, Stayton, Sublimity, and Silverton.

About 5 miles before Silverton, I felt something smack my neck, and it hurt bad enough I wondered if I'd been hit by a rock. My glove came away dry (yea, no blood) so I blew it off. About 2 minutes later, I felt a pinch on my belly. Thinking a belly-hair was being tweaked by a fold in my shirt or something, I used my left hand to shift my jacket around. More pinching. That was when it dawned on me -- OMG A BEE FLEW DOWN MY JACKET!!!

I quickly got the (lame!) idea to try and kill the bee by smashing it against my belly. I know, I know, it was a lame idea. I already acknowledged that. So now I've got pretty much constant pinching as this stupid bee is waging a solo war against my belly flab (yes, yes, you can call it a battle of the bulge, ha ha, aren't you funny to have thought of that -- hey, I"M IN PAIN HERE!!!).

It settled down a bit and I thought maybe it had finally died. Just in case, I tried to keep my body as still as possible. But every bump (ouch) and turn (ouch) that made my body move (ouch) at all (ouch) brought a new onslaught from little Mister-I-Refuse-To-Die inside my jacket. As we pulled in to Silverton it had been a few minutes since the last sting and I thought the miniature militiabee had finally gone on to the great bee poppy-fields in the sky. Dave was in front, having no idea why I blew past him at a stop sign and made a quick turn into the nearest safe parking spot. I quickly got my gloves and helmet off, and got my hand ready to catch the bee as it fell.

No bee. Or so I thought until

OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!

The very much not-yet-deceased tiny titan wasn't in my jacket -- it was under my shirt, and he was angry as ever! I quickly untucked my shirt and out dropped the smallest bee I've ever seen. Seriously, the thing was small! I swear to you an adolescent housefly could've kicked this thing's butt. It was this miniscule bee and as he fell, he put out his wings...and flew victoriously into the afternoon.

I took a few deep breaths and let the willies subside, then we mounted back up to finish our ride. On the way home, we passed (no lie) Bee Road. And as we did, I remembered getting a txt from Cathy this morning before I left, which said "have fun, and beee safe." I had chalked that up to a typo before. Now I think maybe God was trying to warn me or something.

Word to the wise: if you think you have a bee in your jacket, stop as soon as safely possible and deal with it -- or you will suffer its wrath.

Still and all, it was a good ride. I went a little under 103 miles, and filled my tank with a little over 2 gallons -- 48+ mpg. Not bad for a 20yr old bike that needs a tune-up and is battling a slow oil leak!

If you are interested, you can view our full route on Google Maps here.

~ Keith

A Saucer full of Leadership

2008-05-02T10:22:00.012-07:00

Over the years, I've done a lot of thinking about, and been involved in various levels of leadership -- in a variety of settings, from military to the workplace, to the church. I'm no expert, but I had an "Aha!" moment this morning as I was reading and it made me want to journal my thoughts on leadership, and then finish by sharing with you the quote I read which was so great.

In the church, a typical model of leadership, borrowing from corporate structure, looks like this:Since this model implies dominance by those "in charge of" or "over" other people, and since Jesus exemplified and taught a different model, another example is this:
Either of these images make sense within the context of a growing organization but, while the second is certainly different from the first on paper, it does not always look different in practice. In either model the more people there are in the organization, the more pressure there is on the pastor to be-all and do-all. For health, both models need to follow the advice Moses received from his father-in-law.

But in the Pastor as Servant Leader model, even with various levels of leadership, the heaviest weight still rests squarely on the shoulders of one person, requiring the mythic strength of Atlas.In describing the influence of leadership, noted Leadership Expert John Maxwell uses this word-picture:

"A gentle leaf drifts slowly to the waters surface - it gracefully steps on the tranquil pond and as if timed by a masterful conductor, ripples radiate from the leaf across the water. Such a gentle touch - but noticeable, felt results. A leader's touch - no matter how small - yields the same effect. Like falling dominoes, the effect of a leader's influence creates a chain reaction which reverberates throughout an organization."

While that analogy is valid (and certainly picturesque), I disagree with his sound-byte assertion: "Everything rises and falls on leadership".

I think a more apt paraphrase of Jesus' message about leadership would be:

Everything rises and falls on Love.

You can lead without loving,
but if you truly love people
then as a natural result
they will be led to Me.

I still think the advice Moses got from his father-in-law was right though: as an organization grows, more structural support is needed.

Cathy & I have set out together on an adventure of starting a community of faith called The Orchard within the greater context of our experiences in the Vineyard movement (so, yes, you could say we are "planting a church").

But what if I don't want to start and grow an organization? What if, instead, I want to foster the growth of an organism -- a living breathing changing thing that has a life of its own? I believe this is how communities of faith -- how churches -- are supposed to be. When a child is conceived, it starts out very small; just a couple cells. As the child grows, the various structures grow and stretch and transform in exactly the ways they need to in order to support the overall life of the child. Bones thicken and harden; tissues lengthen and stretch; organs and body systems become more complex -- yet lose none of their simplistic elegance in actual functionality.

A few years ago I became more and more unsatisfied with the shortcomings of both the models for leadership given above. I began seeing instead a new image as a way to help me understand this idea of growth combined with a leader being the starting point for a foundation of loving leadership:
As the organism (or organization) grows, there is still influential leadership which supports the overall life. This is not a "leaderless" system. But unlike "Pastor as CEO", this model does not set the Pastor up as an autocratic, albeit benevolent, ruler of his/her own small kingdom. And unlike "Pastor as Servant leader" this new model does not see the Pastor bearing the crushing weight of trying to fill a be-all end-all savior/messiah role. Instead, in the model of "Pastor as Start of Foundation", any and all organism growth sees the Pastor naturally sharing more and more with a growing foundation of loving people among whom the overall weight of responsible leadership is distributed.

This has been my view of the kind of leadership I want to exemplify. As a leader I want to foster growth in others of whatever God has planted within them so that as a community we can each/all then give away those gifts to the world around us as a way of expressing God's love and care to everyone with whom we have any relationship or passing contact.

Here was my "Aha!" moment:

This morning I read something which moved me beyond the triangular, pyramidal models I've been talking about so far. I love this quote from Celtic Daily Prayer:

"BE HELPFUL WHEN YOU ARE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LADDER AND BE THE LOWEST WHEN YOU ARE IN AUTHORITY
Too many of our models for authority are ones of hierarchy or domination. We think of rulers and leaders as those who are over other people and supported by them. Instead of a pyramid model where the few dominate the many, in God's Kingdom it is more helpful to picture a huge saucer into which is thrown all the people of God in all their giftedness, from the least to the greatest. Those more strongly gifted for ministry will not rise to the top, but sink to the bottom where they may undergird and provoke the rest of the people of God.

One true example of Christian humility was King Oswald of Northumbria who himself willingly worked as an interpreter for Aidan so that his people might receive the gospel."

As I shared this with Cathy, she pointed out to me how King Oswald had been a living example of Jesus Himself, who willingly set aside His Kingship and in order to faithfully translate the good news into incarnational language we could understand and receive.

May I be fortunate enough to be counted among those who let go of what the rest of the world sees as important in order to reach for the fullness of whatever God has placed inside me to give away to Him and to those He loves so dearly.

~ Keith