The Wild Nursling

The excitement continues . . .

2008-09-30T07:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay, I know the excitement is going to wear off eventually but she went TWICE yesterday! Once during the day when it was just her and her Papa, and once when we were in bedtime routine mode. Both times she was running around without clothes on and just decided she needed to use the potty without being asked. I wish the weather weren't changing - she's finally getting it but we're moving into clothing required season. But at least we know that she knows what to do!

She did it again!

2008-09-28T16:36:00.000-07:00

Just now! Without anyone asking her if she had to go! She was just playing with her friend and she ran into the bathroom and went!

Three things that tickled me

2008-09-26T09:20:00.000-07:00

1) The Unseen appeared sometime in the middle of the night and crashed in our guest room. This man-child, who on any given day since he was 12 has not appeared before noon if he doesn't have to, got up a little before 7 a.m. to chat with me while I was getting ready for work. He packs up a U-Haul today and heads down the valley to move into his first ever apartment (shared with two good friends) a few days before starting his Junior year of college.

2) While getting ready to get on my scooter this morning my neighbor walked by with her son (age 8 or 9) and daughter (5 or 6?). I already had my jacket and helmet on, and the boy did not recognize me so he was asking his mom who I was. She was surprised he couldn't guess and asked him who he thought I was. I smiled and waved (albeit from across the street and with a lot of gear on). He named every male in the house, then ran out of guesses. His mom laughed and I shouted out "try the mom of the house!". Upon hearing my voice a mixture of recognition and shock crossed his face. I very much enjoyed revving my little scooter and flying down the street while he watched with a little awe. This might be the only time in my life I'm considered to be "the cool mom" by anyone's offspring.

3) The best for last. I haven't written much about the Bean's bathroom adventures because, well, there haven't been any since that one fluke that surprised us all way back in July. For awhile I was very gung ho about the potty, talking about it, reading kids books to her about it, pointing out all the kids she knows that go in the potty, asking her constantly if she wanted to sit on her potty, etc. But she wasn't ready, and the more I pushed the more she resisted so I just let it go. I still asked once in awhile but dropped it as soon as she said no.

Then.

Last night we were starting our bedtime routine. She had her jammie top on but that was it. I heard her say something about peepee on the bed so I checked it out and it was dry. I casually asked her if she wanted to go peepee and she immediately scooted to the edge of the bed, took my hand, and we made our way downstairs. There was no sense of urgency, and we casually talked about who we knew that used the potty. When we got to the bathroom she released my hand, pulled her potty out from under the cabinet, lifted the lid, sat on it, and immediately let go an enormous puddle. IT WAS MAGNIFICENT. I waited until she was done, gave her a wipe, and then scooped her up and did the whole gushing-with-pride-I'm-so-proud-of-you-you-did-it! thing while she beamed.

And that was it. No hour long parade of hoopla like last time. I want to treat this one like a big step forward, but not a huge deal. She obviously knew what she was doing, and knew she had to go but held it until we got downstairs. We are going to continue to ask her a few times a day if she needs to go and if she says no then that's okay.

But like the two nights in a row that she slept through the night I feel that this is the start of something. That she's just going to be one of those kids that might try and succeed at something once, but doesn't make it a regular part of her daily life until she's good and ready, at which point she just incorporates it into the routine immediately and there is no learning curve, no trial period, no two steps forward one step back, just forward and forward.

Slowly, I am learning.

Home

2008-09-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

Our evenings have a routine. When I can finally corral the Bean and get her upstairs we often play on the big bed for a bit and then settle into books. I let her choose them, and where and how she wants to read them (sitting in my lap, sitting next to me, laying down with her head tucked into my shoulder), and we read at her pace (the exact story, an embellished story where we talk about what we see on each page, or flipping rapidly through the pages until we get to the one thing she likes about the book that made her choose it in the first place: a puzzling expression, an unfortunate situation, an object she just learned of).

When I deem it time she scoots to her bed (situated next to ours), grabs a couple of stuffed animals (usually Lamby and Kitty Cat, sometimes a guest Zeebie or Elephant), and sits up leaning against the pillows, waiting for me to turn off the light and come "find" her.

I turn off the light, lose my top, and crawl over my bed to her. I pretend I can't find her, then discover a foot, a knee, and listen to her giggle. When I reach her head I say "what's this?" and she says "A Bean!", except she uses her real name. She often refers to herself in third person, something I find so endearing.

Then I grab her ankles and slide her down in a quick motion that makes her laugh and prepare to lay down next to her. She is usually latched on before I am settled. I pull a snuggle blanket over us and as she nurses I kiss the top of her head at least a dozen times and say "I love you."

Usually I can feel her nod and she says "Mmmm hmmmm" without breaking latch. But for the past week when I say "I love you" she stops nursing for a moment and says "Home?"

Now, I'm not really sure what this means exactly. She could be asking me if I'm going to be home when she wakes up in the morning. And if so then I feel terribly guilty because most mornings I am up and gone while she is slumbering away. And currently we have a huge project deadline at work, which means working later than I usually do, and most unholy, working on our precious Bean-Mommy Fridays.

What I prefer to think is that her reply of "home" is her way of saying "I love you" back, plus a whole lot more. That "home" is all the things I have worked so hard to provide for her: love, security, safety, warmth, trust, good health, calm, ease and affection.

I truly hope this is what she is communicating to me.

Regardless, when we are there, cuddling together in the dark, her curly head beneath my chin and her little hand stroking my arm, I am not lying when I in turn reply to her "Yes my love, I am home."

25 months

2008-09-02T16:39:00.000-07:00

My dear little Bean,

You are 25 months old! Today I present to you an excerpt from the current Bean-English Dictionary:

1) Holdy. When you want to be picked up (um, when do you NOT want to be picked up? oh, right, when La Nina is attempting to make a break for it and running down the block) you come up to me, put your arms in the air, open and close your hands rapidly (like, "now, woman") and say "Holdy!". You've got us all hooked on this new verb/command and even your brother will approach you and say "Can I holdy you?".

2) Tankoo. You have become uber-polite, but selectively. You have been saying "please" ("pliss") for awhile (albeit when prodded) but recently you have started saying "thank you" ("tankoo mama") and even "no thank you", often combining that one with a sign that you made up, shaking your head "no" while touching your chin (ASL for "thank you").

3) Soosme, mama. When you need to get by me or sometimes just for fun you have been known to say "excuse me, mama".

4) Shop. No KD, not what you think. This actually means "stop" and is usually directed at one of the dogs, or at your father when he wants to kiss or tickle you [see: 5) Cham] or look in your general direction when I am present. You hear us yell at the dogs a lot, because they aren't very bright and bark at anything that happens to wander past the front of the house. When they start making a racket, or if they try to bolt into the house, we immediately yell "No! Stop. Waaaaaaaiiiiiit." You have heard this so many times that if we don't respond to their noise you take the task up yourself, marching to where they are and holding out your traffic-stopping hand. Of course, coming from a 33 inch tall midget like yourself they tend to roll their eyes and give you a look that says "look, sister, we were here looooooong before you. You are merely a pup at the bottom of the command chain. Go sit down before I mistake you for a snack." Luckily, the only time you are intimidated by our silly dogs is when you accidentally get caught between Pig coming in the back door and his food bowl . . .

5) Cham. Pronounced with a guttaral "ch" sound like in Hebrew or Yiddish. This is a sound your father invented for when he is chasing you around the house and is going to capture you and tickle you. He has been doing this since he deemed you old enough to wrestle, which was about 3 minutes old. When you are in the mood you LOVE it, and run squealing to the nearest pair of legs where you expect to be scooped up immediately [see: 1) holdy] so you can hide your face in a neck or shoulder to escape the Cham.

Note: when you are NOT in the mood you stand your ground, put out that traffic-stopping hand and say "No. Shop." [see: 4) Shop], or "No Cham! No Cham!"

What's new this month is that you have started Chamming back. You have even designated one of the hand puppets sitting above your bed as the Cham monster and when I see you go for him at jammy time I know we are in for 10 minutes of wrestling before we'll be able to crack a book. Since your laughter is life sustaining I can't say I mind, nor would I ever pass up an opportunity to bite your bum.

6) Nayco. This is also something started by your daddy, or maybe me, I can't remember. But it is now the family word for "naked", and if we allowed it you would be nayco all the time. When we change your diaper and we've got you wiped down but not yet into a freshie you jump up and run off yelling "nayco!" sometimes in joy at being, sometimes in fear that current conditions are under threat.

7) Various repetitions of new phrases at ever increasing volume. As annoying as it is sometimes to hear you repeat something over and over to the point that I want to stick dynamite in my ears (and part of that is the fact that you need us to repeat it back to you and will get louder and louder until we've repeated it back a sufficient number of times) I do appreciate you trying to wrap your mouth around some new concept, phrase or tongue twister.

Last night it was "coffee shop". Previously whenever we passed by a place that looked like you could consume something there you'd say "buy food" or "buy food there?". But last night when we drove buy a coffee shop (not hard in this town) and you said "buy food?" I replied "yes, that's a coffee shop". You thought about this for a few moments, and then tried it out yourself.

"cockeesop? cockeesoup. cahseeposh?"

A few moments of silence from the back seat of the car. Then

You: Mommy?
Me: Yes, love
You: Coffee. Sop? Coffeeeeeeeee. Sop? Coffeesop? Coffeesop? COFFEESOP? COFFEESOP?!
Me: Yes honey, coffee shop!
You: COFFEESOP!
Me: You got it, very good!
You: COFFEESOP!
Me: Uh huh
You: MOMMY! COFFEESOP! COFFEESOP!
Me: Aargh!
You, whispering to yourself: coffeesop. yes, coffeesop. coffeesop. yeah, coffeesop. yes.

Sometimes we just can't understand what you are saying since you seem to have a sort of random stream of consciousness that emits from your mouth. In fact we often refer to you as a talking volcano, and we never know when a large chunk of random hot vocabulary is going to spew forth and smack us in the back of the head. You do try to help us out though, often accompanying your words with gestures, or falling back to words we do know. Sometimes we just have to wait it out, as was the case one night when I drove to your cousin's house and you had me pinned to my seat with a frenzy of words.

"Quinee! Paygwound! Head! Bones? Surl! Kwai! Paygwound? Mimi? House? Head? YEEEESSSSSS."

And now an excerpt from the current chapter of Things That You Do That I Love

1) Random bursts of affection. Those moments when I am involved in something and you come running up to me and throw yourself into a fierce hug of my legs. Or when we are heading up the stairs to bed and you throw your arms around me and give me a kiss.

2) Talking to you on the phone. Occasionally you will ~~tell me about~~ shout at me what you are doing: "SEESAW! PLAY-GWOWN! KIDS! DADDY!" but mostly I ask you questions about your day and you will shout a yes or no answer at me. When the conversation draws to a close your daddy will say "give mommy a kiss" and I will hear several loud kissy sounds and then my heart melts all over the floor and I get no work done for the rest of the day.

3) All things edible make you very curious. Though you don't eat a lot you can't help yourself from inspecting anything you see someone consuming. When you see someone sit down with a snack - and this includes family members, friends, neighbors - you immediately go stand right next to them, look at what they are eating, and say "mmmmMMMMMmmmmm" all the while batting your eyelashes and wearing your most winning smile. When you get a bite of something you like you do a little dance of joy.

4) You have a little song you like to sing called "Heh" which consists of singing the word "Heh" to the tune of the ABC song. And no, I did not name this song, you did. You prefer to sing this song while looking at yourself in the mirror and laughing hysterically, but have been known to sing it upon request in the car:

Me: "Hey Bean want to sing a song?"
Bean: "Yeah!"
Me: "What do you want to sing?"
Bean: "Heh?!"
Me: "Okay!"
Bean: "Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh." giggle giggle

You can also sing to the melody of the first line of Twinkle Twinkle, but the lyrics are comprised wholly of the word "Twinkle". Hey, what do you know, the tune to Twinkle Twinkle is the same as ABCs . . .

5) You are now at the age where you will repeat something over and over as long as it makes us laugh. This is endlessly amusing to your brother, as the two of you will ape each other until either your father or I get annoyed and make you stop.

6) You LOVE to look at pictures and little movies of yourself. The moment I sit down in front of the computer to do anything you run over and say "Pitchers? Me?".

7) You like to sing Happy Birthday at random times, inserting various people's name but most often it's happy birthday to daddy. The other day it was happy birthday to the balloon you were playing with. I'm sure it was pleased.

8) For your birthday you got a ceramic tea set with four cups and saucers in various colors. The first time we played with it you assigned a color to each member of the family and we are NOT allowed to use any other color. And you have no idea how fun it is to mess with you on this issue. One day when your brother and I were playing "tea" with you I picked up his color teacup and saucer. You took it from me, said "No" and gave it to him. Then, when you weren't looking, he and I traded tea cups but kept the correct color saucer. When you saw what we had done you shouted "NO! STOP." and switched them back. We decided we had better cease before you poured pretend boiling water all over us.

9) Sometime in the past I was really tired and wanted to go to bed but you kept wanting more and more books so finally I had to hold up a finger (not THAT finger, come on now) and have this conversation:

Me: Okay, ONE more, and then night-night time.
You: Yesh (nodding solemnly).
Me, holding that finger in your face: One more, okay?
You: Yes.

And ever since then anytime you want more of anything (books, snacks, jumping in puddles), you hold up that finger, tuck your chin down and look up at me from under knit eyebrows: "One. Moe. One."

Except, boy do you learn quick. From one we've gone to "Five? Moe? Five?" with a grin and some raised eyebrows. As my old grade school stationary used to say, who could resist such cuteness and talent?

Little Bean, I could go on and on and on. I guess the point here is that once again you have amazed me with your seemingly endless talent for picking up words, phrases, facial expressions, and gestures from those around you. One evening in the car with just the two of us you piped up after a few miles of quiet (oh, sometimes blessed quiet) and said "Q, this? Q? This?" and when I looked in the rearview mirror you had your thumb in your mouth. You have never sucked your thumb before, but noticed that he did. This happens all the time. And I have to wonder if perhaps this is the reason that you are all of a sudden sleeping through the night - because your brain is constantly sucking in information at an astounding rate and now you have to shut down completely to give your little body a chance to catch up. I think shooting up three inches and gaining four pounds this summer qualifies.

All my love,
Mama

P.S. Let the record show that as of this date you can count to 10 (when you want to) and know most of the ABC's.

Out Loud Allowed

2008-08-25T21:28:00.002-07:00

Here are three-fourths of the Alphabet Gang: P, Q, and Mama J. Turn the volume all the way up on your computer and you will experience approximately one tenth of the noise that occurs when these three get together. Now you can understand why all the adults have beer in their hands. Because we needed a warm-up for the bourbon.

Still, the hugging IS pretty cute, even if the Bean has no idea what is going on and isn't quite sure whether Q is being nice or is trying to take her out . . .

Non-toxic drinking

2008-08-25T08:05:00.000-07:00

We've never been a big fan of plastic in our house. So when I discovered Sigg and Kleen Kanteen stainless steel water bottles I slowly started to replace our classic Nalgenes with some of these lightweight beauties. The only problem is that they keep updating their designs, triggering my desire to collect them. I get itchy fingers whenever I pass by the display at the store.

And then they went ahead and started making itty bitty ones for little kids. Have you seen them? Have you seen how cute they are? Can you understand my struggles with addiction? Does the Bean really need 17 different water bottles?

Why yes, yes she does.

(and so I really hope I win this give away)

Insomnia sucks

2008-08-20T15:56:00.001-07:00

Dear Brain,

I love you, I really do, despite the beer I drink and the occasional poor choice that comes from Netflix. I try to keep you active by having a technical job and trying to manage a million things at once at home. However, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't prefer you to take a break now and again. Might I suggest once a day between the hours of, oh, say, 10 p.m. and 5:45 a.m. when the alarm goes off?

To put it another way: FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY PLEASE SHUT DOWN AT NIGHT. I mean really, there is no reason to come up with good blog posts at 3 a.m. HAVE YOU NOT REALIZED THAT THE CHILD IS SLEEPING? TAKE ADVANTAGE.

Love,
me

Actually . . .

2008-08-18T14:41:00.000-07:00

Seems it really was the noisy college kids that woke her up because the Bean has been sleeping through the night ever since. We had one morning where she woke when the sun was coming up and she simply crawled into bed with me and started nursing, then slept for another couple of hours.

Unfortunately, my body is so used to waking up that I haven't slept through the night myself yet!

The spell, she has broken

2008-08-13T08:20:00.000-07:00

And the mama, she is tired. Oh so tired.

But still there is progress! Though the Bean woke up a few times last night she stayed in her bed. Mostly it seemed she wanted to just be reassured that we were there. She'd see my form in the dark and say "Hi, mommy" and if I answered her right away and told her to lie back down, that it was night-night time, she'd do exactly that.

So she knows what she is supposed to do at night and knowing is half the battle, right? Right? Sorry, couldn't resist.

And in all fairness, it was really hot and still last night. I had a bit of insomnia and was restless so I can't really blame the Bean for waking up too. And the college kids down the street were talking very loudly as they got in their cars and slammed the doors at 2 or 3 a.m., right underneath our bedroom window. We'll be joining the rest of the neighborhood kids in a kiddie splash pool right underneath THEIR bedroom window on Saturday morning at 6 a.m..

I probably shouldn't jinx myself BUT . . .

2008-08-12T06:49:00.001-07:00

. . . for the past two nights the Bean has slept through the night in her own bed.

High fives all around!

24 months old

2008-08-08T08:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Little Bean,

Today you are two years old. I haven't written much in the past few weeks, partly because we have been out of town a lot and when I got back work just totally kicked (and continues to kick) my ass (and we all know that is all the internet time I get anymore). But mostly it has been due to the overwhelming amount of stories I have wanted to tell. You have been collecting milestones the way I used to collect bottle caps. I write posts everyday in my head - witty, humorous, award-winning posts. But when I get 5 minutes in front of the computer I sit there stumped.

But here you are turning two and so I guess I must write something. Thank you for the proverbial lighting of the fire under my ass.

Yesterday your cousins hung out with us for a couple of hours. There were several other kids from the 'hood out and about as well. At one point, young Mr. Q took off down the street and we all followed. When he got to the corner we convinced him to turn around and run back in the other direction. Again, everyone followed. Except you. I said, "Hey Bean, look there goes Q! And the Divine Miss P! Don't you want to go that way?" And you said, "No". And I said, "That's my girl." And though I know I am jinxing myself, though I know that this spells out trouble for the years to come, at that moment where you stood on the corner looking in all directions and weighing your options, at that moment I could not have been more proud. At that moment you were neither leader nor follower. At that moment you were an independent thinker. Lord help me, I loved it.

This month we spent a full week with Mom Mom and Pop Pop in the house I grew up in in Hawai'i. While it wasn't your first airplane trip, it was the first one with your own SEAT and the first time you had flown since you learned to walk. Needless to say, it was an exhausting yet amusing 6 hours. There were a plethora of other firsts on this trip. We got you your first pair of flip-flops, which you had been requesting since your father and I busted ours out at the beginning of the summer. As I was paying for them I had a moment of fear that you would hate the feeling of the strap between your toes and refuse to wear them. Silly mommy. You saw them, put them on, and did not take them off for about 3 days. Or rather, did not take them off willingly. The first night, after you had fallen asleep, I tried to slip them off of your feet. Because, I don't know, it's really not pleasant to be kicked all night by a toddler wearing dirty rubber shoes? Your ~~Spidey~~ Imelda Marcos Sense kicked in and you woke up FURIOUS, screaming, and inconsolable, though I am proud to say I did not give in and eventually you fell asleep and when you woke up in the morning the first thing we did was put your flip-flops on and you pranced around, otherwise naked, and beaming.

Oh, and you call them "foo-fops". Could you be any more adorable? The answer is no, no you can not.

But wait, it gets better.

For about the third time in my entire life I got a wild hair up my butt and decided to paint my toenails the night before we left. You were so enthralled by this whimsical decoration of mine that you insisted on looking at my toes on demand. First thing in the morning you ordered me to remove the bed sheet and hold up my feet. If I wore my Keen sandals I was required to take them off several times a day and show you my painted toes. And oh boy did you want some too. After about 3 days I relented and it took me all of about 23 seconds to paint your teeny tiny toenails. And for the next couple of days you absolutely refused to put your feet in the sand or in the water for fear it might wash off. Keep in mind WE WERE IN HAWAII. Thank goodness your grandfather has the persuasive powers of The Music Man, with a capital P, which stands for "the Pacific Ocean near the equator is one of the most fun places on earth to be".

We returned from that trip, shook out the sand and did some laundry, and then it was time to pack up for an almost all girls camping trip with my two best friends, both of whom live out of state. While the weather was not fully cooperative we had a lot of fun sleeping in the tent, hiking through big green forests to waterfalls and fields of wild flowers.

Your mimicry has reached amazing new heights. You have moved beyond picking up new words to stringing words together for full sentences. I love hearing you scold the dogs, not to mention your father or brother. The other day the Tween tossed your beloved Lamby from one couch to another so he could sit. With a scowl you shouted "HEY! Nooooooooooooooooo" the same way we do at the dogs when they try to sneak in the house without getting their paws wiped.

You know your birthday is coming up and at random times you can be heard saying "Happy Birthday To You". You LOVE to sing, but it is with great sadness that I report you do NOT want to hear "You Are My Sunshine" any more. This song has been my staple for trying to get you to fall asleep, for comforting you after a boo boo, for those times when I will gouge my own eyes out if I have to sing "E-I-E-I-O" one more time. Thank goodness for Mikky the Teacher and her repertoire of grade school songs. Current favorite: "I had a little turtle, his name was Tiny Tim, I put him in the bathtub to see if he could swim. He drank up all the water, and ate up all the soap, and woke up in the morning with bubbles in his throat. Glub glub glub." Complete with hand motions and funny throat noises, this song will make you dance and break into that heart-melting grin that makes me want to eat you. You are THAT delicious.

Have you seen your band aid dance? Really, you need to do that in front of a mirror sometime.

Perhaps the most exciting observation of this month has been the move into imaginative play. We are finally seeing you fully grasp the idea of "pretend" and I predict tea parties in the near future with your favorite stuffed animals and, of course, your daddy. We had many discussions on this very topic when we made the conscious decision for him to be the stay-at-home parent. Really I don't think he'll mind that much, as long as you are willing to accept some action figures as occasional guests.

You know, the older you get, the less you look like me and the more you look like your daddy. Thing is, I totally married him for his looks, so you lucked out, and I am in love all over again.

All my love,
mama

Peepee in the potty!!

2008-07-16T10:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is probably only really exciting to those of you with kids, but I am still riding the peepee high (that didn't sound right, did it?).

Two nights ago was a bit of chaos. Mimi was in town, randomly, and came over with the Alphabet Gang for dinner and kid play. La Papa next door was celebrating his birthday with family and the neighbors - everyone was invited to their house for cookies and ice cream. So there were a ton of people outside between our two houses. Our family was in our backyard but then the mosquitos came out so we went inside for a bit. At one point I saw the Bean go into the bathroom so I followed her in there. She ran to her little potty saying "peepee! potty!" and my first thought was that she was just sort of showing it off to the other kids because shes been super possessive of her toys recently. But I asked if she wanted to sit on the potty and go peepee, because I've been trying more actively to get her to go for the past couple of weeks. Occasionally she will sit on it, but only for a few seconds and then off she goes to play. Usually when I ask if she wants to go she just says "no". She's also been fighting the diaper recently, so I've been telling her that if she doesn't want to wear a diaper she can start using the potty - her choice, no pressure.

So anyway, that night when I asked after she ran in there she said yes, so I unbuttoned her outfit (she already didn't have a diaper on, imagine that) and she sat down and almost IMMEDIATELY started to pee! She gave me this really startled look like "what the hell is that coming out of me?" and I must have had a very similar look on my face because we both just froze, looking at each other.

Of course I made a HUGE deal out of it (I was SOOOO proud!) and she was fascinated too. She had a lot of pee! We told the King, and all the family, and any neighbor that wandered over about her bladder accomplishment. Luckily, everyone was supportive.

About 45 min later it was time for bed and she wanted to pee again but nothing came out and I think she was a bit disappointed. I tried to tell her that her body sends her messages when she has to go but it was late and I'm sure that will take a while to sink it.

But its a start! And this time it wasn't a fluke - I think she really had to go and heard the message her bladder was sending her. As mentioned, I usually ask her a few times a day if she has to go but that time she ran in there by herself, talking about it.

And of course we've been talking about it and asking her every few hours since then but to date there hasn't been a repeat performance. I'm hoping that having me around for an extended period of time while we're on vacation, not to mention all the nakey time she'll get at her Mom Mom and Pop Pop's house will be a big step forward.

And if not? No biggie, we've still got Tidee Didee!

Cute things

2008-07-15T15:22:00.000-07:00

Go by bike

2008-07-14T11:49:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I bought a Bobike Mini bike seat for the Bean. I agonized for weeks over whether to get her a seat on my bike or a trailer.

Trailer advantages:
- low to the ground in case you should fall or have an accident
- attachment rotates, so you can put your bike down without disturbing the trailer (and hence the child in it)
- provides shade and/or protection from rain
- child can eat/read/sleep on longer rides
- can be used to haul other things along with your kid

Seat on a bike advantages:
- well, just one really, and that is that the child is experiencing the ride as you do. They see what you see, at the level you see it, and you can talk to them while you ride.

And that one advantage won me over. Its not like the bike has replaced our car. Really we would just use it for fun, for quick close errands, for a family outing. And I knew she would love it so much more if she could be up high with the wind in her face and able to talk to me and point out the things she could see.

But, once I had the thing on my bike I suffered from "what the hell have I done?" syndrome. There were days where she got very cold, just sitting there not working, and I felt terrible guilt. And the top of her helmet just about hits my chin, meaning our days are numbered if she continues to sprout inches skyward every month. Still, she loves it. LOVES IT. She practically explodes when she sees the bike, wanting to drop everything and get on it, often wailing "BIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!" in lament that she is not already on it. And she will often just want to wear her bike helmet (and nothing else) around the house. One day when we biked to the playground she refused to take it off and I'm pretty sure the other parents thought I was some kind of over-protective freak and didn't trust my child's ability to use a slide correctly.

But my choice was not fully confirmed as a good one until this past weekend. The King had a gig as part of Bastille Day at a popular fountain downtown (all the fountains in our city are public and often occupied by kids in the summertime). Our neighbors were going with their two boys and invited us to bike with them. This was by far the longest bike ride I've been on with the Bean so far (6+ miles, one direction) though it is the route I take daily to and from work. It was about 92 degrees outside, and the route is 98% fabulous bike path along the river, but much of it is in the sun. Our neighbors had their two boys in a trailer and instantly I worried about the Bean frying like bacon, getting grumpy from the heat, from not having water, from not having a snack, from wanting to get off, etc.

Silly me. As you can tell from the post below this one she is a bit of a talker. And boy did she talk - she pointed out everything she saw that she recognized and when she ran out of things she pointed them out again. And again. And again. And then she wanted to sing songs. Do you know how difficult it is to pedal miles and miles in the melting heat carrying 20+ pounds (I had a backpack full of snacks, picnic blanket, water, etc) and singing "I-I-I-YO?" (that's her E-I-E-I-O). But I really didn't mind. What was important was that we were interacting during our experience together, which made it so much more enjoyable for both of us. My neighbor with the trailer actually had to stop a few times to see what her youngest was screeching about, to distribute snacks and water that she had mistakenly put in her backpack, and in general had a somewhat annoyed attitude of "let's just get there already". Her trailer was also pretty wide, as it was carrying two, and the few streets we did have to traverse with traffic we were all a little on edge.

But beyond even that were the smiles and nods I got when folks saw little Bean in her seat (and yeah, she's pretty cute tucked in there, especially with her little bug-eyed sunglasses). I overheard a number of people talking about it, that they've never seen a seat at the front of the bike (its pretty popular in Europe ya'll!), and one guy even approached me and asked about the brand and where to get it (hooray for my local bike shop for carrying it!).

So now the Bean isn't the only one happy to be in the bike seat. I swear my pride in my choice and in her love for it raised me up a few inches so it didn't feel like she was going to break my nose every 5 minutes. Now I want to go everywhere with her by bike and plan on doing more extended rides when we can.

As long as I can stand singing more "I-I-I-YO".

Great conversation

2008-07-11T16:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when the Bean gets in front of the mirror she likes to talk to herself. Here is a classic conversation. Warning - random screeching ahead.

23 months old

2008-07-09T07:47:00.000-07:00

My dear little Bean,

Yesterday you turned 23 months old! This month has been crazy full of activities, many of them new to you, and I swear all the excitement and sunshine has caused you to grow at least three inches.

Among the "firsts" this month:
- you were a flower girl in your first wedding
- you saw a horse up close (a Clydesdale no less! and so you made the sign for "elephant")
- you were left with family while your parents went out to dinner (we both survived)
- you participated in a surprise party for your daddy
- you went on a 3 day raft trip where you
- slept in a tent and sleeping bag for the first time and
- caught your first fish
- got your first skinned knee
- went berry picking
- learned to jump with both feet off the ground
- let us floss your teeth! How many almost-2 year olds do THAT?
- slept through the night on your own mattress

I'm pretty sure that last one was a fluke though, a result of exhaustion from the birthday weekend and berry picking in the sun. Your sleeping habits haven't really changed - you still wake up once or twice a night to nurse and snuggle. What has changed is that I've managed to tame the wild nursling in you a bit. When your hands get a little too wild and it seems to be keeping you from falling asleep I hand you your kitty cat, a delightful little soft stuffed animal your Mom Mom gave to you. You aren't really a stuffed animal kind of kid right now, but you do love that little kitty, and will wrap your arm around it when you fall asleep at night, saving me from getting whapped in the face by your roving hands.

You have been eating a lot this month too, trying to fuel your body's rapid growth. You try pretty much everything we put in front of you, loving the salmon off the grill, the bowl of peas (yay!), even the squash enchilada I shared with you at my new favorite healthy restaurant. I almost peed my pants when you reached for a second helping. You were eating vegetables! And liking it!

And your vocabulary? My gawd! Slow down child! You have moved beyond repeating words you hear me say. You are now hearing words, comprehending their meaning, storing them for later use, and then firing them back at me when I least expect it (see Eddie below). I think that reading books at night is tiring you out. When we read before bed you stare at each page with a slight frown and your amazing eyebrows drawn in. You concentrate so hard on the pictures you see and the words you hear that after two or three you shut the book, sometimes saying "away" and "bed", and fall back exhausted.

You are so confident on your feet now. You have always loved walking down the hill of our driveway, but now you run, circling back up the steps to the top of the hill and running down again. You've also become more confident on our neighbor's steps, climbing up and walking down the narrow wall that borders the railing. You hardly cry at all anymore when you fall, but rather pick yourself up and keep on moving to keep up with your friends or move on to the next adventure.

Sometimes when we eat dinner you rest your head in your hand while you chew, because you are so weary from all the learning and growing you did that day that you need to be propped up lest your heavy head rolls off. And this is such a good lesson for us. Maybe if we were all a little more open to growing and learning we'd eat and sleep better.

In a couple of weeks we are going on a REALLY big adventure to visit Mom Mom and Pop Pop, where you will visit the best beach in the entire world, and frolic in sugar white sand and a warm ocean. You will, hopefully, eat some of the best food on earth, tropical fruits you haven't had the opportunity to try before, and its okay if you don't like them because then there will be more for me. You will get to spend a lot of time naked, with toes in the water, and I expect you to have grown out of all your clothes by the time we get home.

Love,
Mama

Eddie

2008-07-07T10:23:00.001-07:00

Scene: Backyard; the Bean is on the back deck playing with some 5 gallon containers we took on the river, now drying in the sun. I am watering the garden. She is happily engrossed in her activity, mostly concentrating silently on taking the caps on and off and twisting the spigots. Occasionally she will babble something to herself.

Bean: Mama! Eddie!
Me: Eddie? (wracking my brains - we don't know anyone named Eddie)
Bean: Eddie!
Me: Yeah, Eddie! (what the hell is Eddie?)
Bean, eyebrows knit, getting frustrated: Eddie! Eddie!
Me: Is that Eddie? Are you Eddie? Do you want to see Eddie? (clutching at straws)
Bean, stamping her feet because mama just doesn't get it: EDDIE! EDDIE!
Me, lightbulb moment: Empty? Are those containers empty?
Bean: Yes.

Back to playing.

Rafting!

2008-07-01T10:51:00.000-07:00

We just got back from three glorious days on a river a few hours from our city. This is a river we've been on with my old boss a few times, though not on this particular stretch, and last year I sent the Tween and King but stayed home with the Bean. This portion of the river however is very mild, with only Class 1 riffles and a single Class 2 rapid (classed for the technical aspect vs. the size) so it was toddler safe. The best part was that due to overbooking, we were given a 14' raft instead of the 16' one we were expecting, so the rental company threw in an inflatable kayak for free. The Tween spent most of the time in it, learning river hydrology, the best way to handle small rapids, fishing in the slow spots, and working his upper body. It was a huge self confidence boost for him, and he wasn't stuck cramped in the boat with the rest of us. This made the time he did spend with the Bean much happier for both of them, and he was more likely to look after her in camp when I needed him too.

I had two major concerns and two minor concerns with taking the Bean on this trip, and all proved easy to deal with. The two things I worried about most were shade and where she would nap if we were on the boat 6-8 hours a day. For shade we brought along an assortment of tarps and poles to experiment with, including the pole structure of her little play tent that we thought we could erect in the well at the front of the boat and drape a tarp or towel over. Thank goodness we were able to leave it all in the car though, as one of the other long-time rafters that was on the trip with us had several beach umbrellas that he distributed among the boats. This simple item saved us, though the King had quite a bit of a challenge keeping us in the shade and keeping up with the rest of the crew. The few times it got very windy we had to pull it down to keep us from sailing back upriver, but most of the time we were able to keep it up and the Bean in the shade. Very useful considering she'd often pull her hat off and refuse to wear it, nor did she like long sleeves or pants. Or shoes for that matter. Or her diaper.

The nap concern also turned into a non-issue. She simply fell asleep sitting in my lap. On the third day I finally got tired of holding her and laid her out on a bench in the boat on top of two life jackets, and covered her up with a white towel. She easily slept at least 45 minutes, possibly more than an hour each day, and awoke refreshed and ready to play.

The two minor concerns I had involved whether or not she would eat enough since our options were limited to what we packed, and how she would do sleeping on a sleeping bag on a Thermarest in a tent. And again I needn't have worried. She stuffed her face with snacks throughout the day (dried fruit, nuts, avocado, smoked turkey and ham) plus lots of water and some Pedialyte to keep hydrated, and ate light dinners. She got sleepy when it started to get dark, just like at home, and easily fell asleep. And she loved the tent. LOVED IT. Every afternoon when we found a spot for the night and put up our tent we'd unpack the Thermarest pads and sleeping bags to air them out. The Bean would dive upon them, giggling and rolling around, and order you to "fall" on them too. Then throughout the evening she'd want to go play in the "house". We have a four person REI Hobitat and it must have seemed HUGE to her.

The very first night, when we had driven to the put in but were camping at a State Park, I had spread her open sleeping bag on top of our two pads and put my open sleeping bag on top of us. However, while her bag was a square bottom that opened all the way, mine was a mummy bag that opened only to a foot above the tapered bottom. So all night long I worried about rolling over and exposing her, about whether she would kick off the covers, about whether she was comfortable. And so I got no sleep. The rest of the trip she was in her own sleeping bag, and it was much warmer on the river so I never stressed about temperature. Even the night we slept on a rocky island in the middle of the river we were comfortable. Just like home she would wake just once to nurse and quickly fell back asleep. I think the combination of sun, the rocking motion of the boat, and the sound of the river at night helped all of us to sleep extremely well. Not to mention being "out there", away from all the lights, sounds of industry, and electricity in general. I love camping.

Gotta share this cool rock formation we saw from our rocky island camp spot. The rock is on the right hand side of the photo on the horizon:

Whites called it "Coffin Rock", and you can sort of see that it looks a bit like a sarcophagus. The Native Americans called it "Star Gazer" and you can very much see why. From right to left you can see a forehead, a nose, and a prominent chin. Then it continues to the low hills where you can see a neck, a breastbone with pectoral muscles, a shoulder and arm, a stomach line. It looks exactly like a person laying on their back looking up at the sky. The effect is a amazing and we had a fantastic view on our last night on the river. A fitting end to a trip that was too short.

Sleep - we lost it

2008-06-24T08:14:00.000-07:00

Yep, definitely a fluke (*yawn*), but there are so many factors that affect sleep I certainly can't expect the little one to just all of a sudden start doing something she's never done before. And on Thursday we head out to a really big adventure: three days on a local river in a big raft rowed by her daddy. This will be the first time camping with the Bean and if she can stand the 3-4 hour car ride to get to the put in I think she'll have a blast. And I'm hoping that the sun, scenery, water, fishing, and new people will suffice to knock her out at night so that she doesn't even notice she's sleeping on the ground. At least the big tent will be a novelty right?

I made some kick-ass strawberry jam with Tita last night. I can't wait to crack it open and enjoy it on toast!

Sleep - we gots it

2008-06-23T08:04:00.000-07:00

Our usual night time routine is that when I am ready to turn off the light I ask the Bean if she wants to get into her bed and she enthusiastically scoots over to her mattress and waits for me to climb into my spot, which is my side of my own bed. But for about the past week the Bean has been wanting to go to sleep in our bed, in her usual spot in the middle. Since she usually ends up there anyway I have been relenting and letting her nurse down in her center spot. But last night I decided it was time and told her she'd be returning to her own bed, at least to start. That she could come into our bed whenever she wanted to, but she was going to go to sleep in her own space. She wasn't happy about it, but when I turned off the light and lay down on her mattress she reluctantly crawled over, nestled in, and was soon asleep.

And she stayed there.

The whole night.

Without waking me up to nurse.

Now, think about that. It has been 1 year, 10 months, and 14 days exactly that she has been sharing a bed with us. That's almost two years of waking up anywhere from two to a million times a night. There has only been one other time that she didn't wake up to nurse until dawn and I think I myself woke up about a million times to check on her. But last night I slept solid, waking up at 5 a.m. feeling very refreshed. The King got up briefly to use the bathroom and when he came back to bed I tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to the center of the bed to show him the absence of Bean. Being a typical keenly observant, attention-to-detail guy (*cough*) he said "What?" to which I replied "no baby". "Huh", he said, and perhaps sensing my shock at his lack of incredulity he added "wow" and rolled over and went back to sleep.

Obviously he lacked the significance of the moment. Obviously he has never had his nipples chewed on for the umpteenth time while trying to find a comfortable place for various limbs, his and someone else's, while feeling exhausted and dreading having to get up in an hour to go to work.

But I have been marveling for the past three hours, and will celebrate today regardless of the fact that it was likely a rare event, and could not repeat until the Bean is 13 when she hits puberty and can't be roused from her room before 11 a.m. like her brother.

So I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. It may be hard to repeat the conditions that caused such a deep sleep. It could have been due to the surprise party we threw for the King's 40th birthday this weekend, the one that was preceded by the King and I going out to dinner ALONE for the first time in almost two years (we left the Bean with a tribe of family to occupy her while we were away). Or it could have been due to the 1.5 hours we spent picking 12.5 pounds of organic strawberries in the warm sun waaaaaaay past nap time on Sunday. Whatever the reason, and whatever happens tonight or the next or the next, I am feeling great today, and am ready to give the Bean extra kisses when I get home.

As if I needed a reason. :-)

A few photos from Colorado

2008-06-18T10:03:00.001-07:00

Rehearsing with wings (she didn't like them).

Goofing for the camera with mommy and Meow.

All dressed up with wings.

Wearing our "eyes".

Great playground in Fort Collins.

Tuckered out little Bean.

Travels with Bean

2008-06-17T14:46:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we were in Colorado for the wedding of one of my closest friends. We stayed up at a dude ranch at 8500' elevation but also spent time in Fort Collins, and of course the driving back and forth from Denver. We started our travels at midday on Thursday and didn't get home until Monday night. The Bean was amazing given the time change, the heavy travel (air, car, foot), eating strange food in strange places, not to mention sleeping in a strange bed. She was one of three flower girls in the wedding, and the youngest, and she did a great job. I have come to the conclusion that I would be happy to travel with her anywhere, as long as the King was there with me to give me a break, and perhaps her brother the Tween for entertainment purposes.

Highlights from the trip, in no particular order:

1) My other best friend, KD, has a first name that sounds a very little bit like "Kitty" but it was enough that the Bean called her "Meow" the entire trip. All day long we heard "Meow, bubbles?" (to blow bubbles) "Meow, eat?", "Meow, book?", "Meow?!". The Bean LOVED Meow and the poor girl could hardly go the bathroom without the Bean standing outside screaming at the top of her lungs "MEOW?!?!". Gave me great fodder for teasing let me tell you

2) Holding a tired and somewhat grumpy Bean during the wedding ceremony (I was a bridesmaid) and trying to distract her while she yelled/cried "BOOBAH!" and stuck her hand down my dress in an attempt to free them.

3) The look on the face of the Bean when she checked out a pair of Clydesdale horses for the first time. She made the sign for "elephant".

4) Standing around a campfire and sharing a bottle of Jack with two friends I haven't hung out with in a long time while the King watched over a sleeping Bean back at the condo. I laughed so hard that I cried. Several times.

5) Evie (rhymes with 'heavy'), a 60-something southern Scotch-drinking grandma, a friend of the bride, that put us up for the last night of our stay (in Fort Collins). We were a little wary of sleeping in the house of a woman we had never met before but it turned out to be one of the highlights of our trip. And it was a good lesson for the Tween - keep an open mind and an open heart and you can meet some really cool people in your lifetime. And be sure to return the favor to others some day. She LOVED the Bean, who loved her in return and gave her a big hug as we were leaving. If Evie wandered out of sight the Bean would walk around the house yelling "EBB-EE?", which of course Evie loved.

6) Sleeping in my own bed last night. I love going places, especially to hang out with friends I rarely see, but man did my own bed feel good.

Pictures to follow and yes, I know I always say that.

Happy birthday to me!

2008-06-17T14:29:00.001-07:00

Today is my 36th birthday and, completely coincidental, my first breast pump free day at work. Yep, I've dumped the pump. Last week the Bean just didn't take very much milk, either from a bottle or a glass. So it looks like I'm off the hook and that chapter of my life for the past almost two years is over. I guess that nursing for us has moved past hunger, thirst, and even nourishment (those are all still benefits, thank goodness) and is now solely in the realm of cuddling, giggling, tickling, conversing, falling gently asleep and snuggling. Thank you little Bean! This is the best birthday gift you could give me!

22 months plus 3 days

2008-06-11T11:44:00.001-07:00

This always happens. Every month I write a letter to the Bean and wonder what there is to say. And somehow this long gushy post appears. And then the next day I think of three or four things I forgot to record.

For example this month she has started actually saying things on the phone when the King calls me at work. Well, more like shouting things at me, including "HI!" "MOMMY?!" "DADDY!" "HI!" "YES!" "NO!" "HI!" and the new favorite "SEESAW?!?!"

Yes, seesaw. This is her new favorite thing, as favorite as blueberries and the bike hat (which apparently she has been wearing all morning and refuses to take off). She has been riding on the seesaw, unassisted, for a couple of months now. She is very good at holding on, and its quite the workout for the obliging parent. Gotta love squats.

Last night I drummed for the dance class. I have been wanting to get back to this for a long time but never felt it was right to a) leave the Bean with the King after he'd been with her all day and b) leave the Bean when I'd only been home for an hour and a half. But the King insisted, because it was once a big part of my life and I've been moping about it recently. I knew she'd be fine, and she was, but I couldn't help but feel like there was suddenly this huge change, this shift in the routine that tore a huge gaping hole in my heart. I didn't worry about her while I was gone (a whole 2 hours), and I didn't rush upstairs to check on her when I got home. But when I went to bed she woke up, sleepily opened her eyes and whispered "mommy?" and smiled when she saw me there. And my heart melted into this huge puddle that flooded the house and a flock of doves flew out of my butt.

We are headed out for a long weekend to attend the wedding of one of my best friends and I have to say that I am looking forward to getting out of town, getting some fresh air, getting some SUN, and hanging out with friends too-long-not-seen. Other changes may be in the works that further the shift away from routine, but I'll write more about that next week.