Territorial Pissings

Should I have to put up with this shit....

2009-07-24T23:33:00.003-05:00

Within the last year a new person moved upstairs from me. When he moved in I basically gave him the ground rules you know when garages is picked up recyclables etc. Anyway then he started doing some stuff that I didn't like. Flicking his cigarette butts in the yard blocking the side entryway door to the garage. So I said something and at that time he kindly obliged.

Until recently. Back in May I noticed a bird feeder hanging above my patio. I currently have my patio furniture out there my grill etc. So I kindly asked him to move it to another window. He said that when it got warm he would. About a month later in June it was still there so I asked again, nothing happened. I called the landlord and he finally moved it only a few days later there was another bird feeder right back in the same spot. One morning I get up and he has thrown crackers and potato chips all over the grass. Keep in mind I have kids they play in this yard. As fed up as I was I wrote a very professional letter asking him to please stop throwing food out in the yard because it attracts other undesirable wildlife. I would say about a half hour later I hear a loud pounding on the door. I answer to him yelling at me telling me that its bullshit for what i am asking him to do. Practically whining he is like "its for the animals, all my life i have been feeding the animals" I said well cant they eat out of a dish?

My main concern is I don't want rats coming here in winter because there is a food source. I proceeded to tell him about the chipmunk that has set up base camp in the garage. In one week the chipmunk managed to dig out 2 count them 2 5 gallon pails of pea gravel from under the concrete slab in the garage, but he had to get to work and couldn't be delayed by my petty ramblings.

To make a long story short since my letter he is consistently blocking the garage side entry door, back to the cigarette butts on the ground and leaving soda cans all over the place. not to mention now that when he hears my footsteps he starts whistling incessantly and repeatedly slams the doors every time he enters and exits the house on several occasions has woken my kids up. Not to mention the 1am vacuuming and paper shredding. I have done nothing to him to deserve such disrespect. I hear him once badmouth me in the hallway saying what a bitch i am. I'm sorry asshole upstairs I don't deserve not to enjoy the place i live.

Things that are irritating me today...

2009-07-19T15:10:00.003-05:00

Not that these things can't irritate me everyday. I just felt like saying something today.

Barking dogs

The guy that lives upstairs from me

People who throw cigarette butts out the window of their car (I'm a smoker)

People that feed the birds

People that think knowing someone for three months is enough time to decide that they are the person they want to spend the rest of their life with

My kids throwing the pillows off the couch

Juice box straw wrappers

Watching a show on TV and it was the last show on the last time you watched it (reruns of reruns)

Buying the same thing twice because you forgot you already had one

Sneaky kids

OK, I did good not that these are in any particular order. I'm done venting now.

HAVE A NICE DAY! :)

This ROCKS!

2009-07-18T08:44:00.005-05:00

During my 2+ year absence I have also been dabbling in a wee bit of gaming. Keep in mind I'm 35 with kids so there is bound to be a console or 2 in the house. Who uses it? HAHA! Me, it all started with GTA San Andreas. Now anyone who has played and of the GTA series cam feel me there the games are hysterical. So I hear about this game called Rock Band from a friend at work who uses his X-mas bonus to buy it. At first I didn't think it would be much of anything. Well I ended up unemployed in April of 08 and was wondering what the kids and I were going to do to keep our sanity not being able to go anywhere because of lack of funds.

To make a long story short I walk into Sam's Club one day to pick up essentials and I spot it for $94 take it home and the kids freak at the size of the box. So I have been hooked on it ever since. I recently purchased Guitar Hero Metallica. It's fickin awesome and highly recommend it. BTW my arms are sore from rocking out :) and the kids and i have formed a band! I just found out looking at these sites they are coming out with a Beatles version of Rock Band with replica instruments!

Cool Deal...

2009-07-18T08:32:00.003-05:00

Right now Target has a special that if you buy 2 CD's within a certain selection you get a $15 dollar Itunes gift card free! I say this is a deal because the choices on the rack are about $9.99. Its like buying 2 getting one free. During this special. I bought some CD's I normally wouldn't have bought.

Shinedown - Leave a Whisper
The Beegees - Greatest hits
Paramore - Riot
Paramore - All we know is falling

Home 0, Weinermobile 1

2009-07-18T08:15:00.003-05:00

ROFL! I get up this early on a Saturday to read that an Oscar Mayer Weinermobile has crashed into a home in Mount Pleasant WI. I can't believe it made national news. Now I only know how to spell Oscar Mayer because of those damn commercials when I was a kid. I swear to you as I sit here typing it out I'm chanting the diddy in my head. I have added some useless Weinermobile trivia ans statistics here. Do you think if you spot it they still give out them whistles? I would have a picture to post here of my kids with the Weinermobile but they thought they were too cool and refused the offer. "Why do I want my picture taken in front of a giant hot dog mom?"

Some Thoughts about MJ's Passing...

2009-07-14T20:14:00.001-05:00

My Life Really Isn't That Shitty Anymore

2009-07-14T17:39:00.005-05:00

I look back at the time that has passed since i was pretty religious about blogging and boy some of them old posts were sad. It has been over three years since my divorce and life couldn't be better. I am still single but now I know that is by choice. I have decided that lass drama = better life. I have an awesome job and work with a lot of really fun people. My kids have not suffered because of it, and I get along pretty good with my Ex not that all the dust has settled. I think my main focus from here on out id like to talk about the fun shit that occurs in everyday life. Could be political, about my kids or otherwise. I think i just needed a couple posts to get me started again.

I owe my return to a dear friend who has recently asked me to collaborate with her on an SL fashion blog. If you are unaware what SL is check it out. I have been learning a lot about open source code and scripting so this has taken a lot of my time in the last what is it like 2 years. ROFL My creativity is back :)

http://hawtbish.blogspot.com/

Omg....

2009-07-14T17:29:00.002-05:00

I don't know if anyone even follows this stupid blog anymore but I have decided to take it up again. I gave up on word press a long time ago. I have been busy with a real job believe it or not! I'm hoping to come up with some more of the blogs that my readers were used to. Satire Bishes!

Its ben a year... Officially

2007-06-11T21:16:00.000-05:00

When you file for a divorce they should hand you a manual.

It should go something like this.

1. your kids are going to hate you for a while.

2. you are going to be lonely and desperate.

3. you will sleep with the first guy who pays attention to you and this will be your rebound.

4. you will unfortunaly fall in love with the next man who will be married and crush you heart into a million peices.

5. After you dum said guy you will only think about how you can seek reveng on him.

6. You will be lonely.

7. You keep thinking about that married asshole and he ruins all future dates.

8. He filed for divorce and moved out of the house and still doesn't want you.

9. non of the dates can compare to the married asshole with the great smile and witty sense of humor.

Arghhhhhhhhhhh!

Crap crap crap....

Maybe when I get up tomorrow the first thing i get wont be a shit sandwich for breakfast.

Good night all!

I went to a titty bar on St. Patricks Day "An Essay of Sorts"

2007-03-20T19:35:00.000-05:00

I went to a gentlman's night club in the daytime called On the Border.

Until this point I was a titty bar virgin. I get there thinking shit this looks like "bada bing" from the Sopranos.

It was dead there was only one girl on at a time and I am there with a bunch of male friends. I figured since we were hanging out WTF might as well check it out "research".

First why am I there with a bunch of guys. My female friends were busy. I have more male friend than female friends. I get treated like one of the guys. Men don't seem to want to ever date me they just want to be my "friend" at least for the most part the propositions have stopped... for now.

Well I totally didn't know what to expect. The women there looked like normal average folk that you see everyday. I wore a low cut white shirt. Hello black lights! I stuck out like a sore thumb. A magnet! The next thing I know some chick has her ass pointed at me and my friend to the right says " that's for you" I'm like what? Well I was like fresh fish in the meat department. I didn't know that they would stick thier boobs in my face very uncomfortable feeling I tell you. Well I humored the guys and stuck a dollar in my cleavage and let one of the girls take it out with her boobs. Then everybody was happy.

Well I think my research is done though if I had a boyfriend that would be the closest thing to a threesome he would ever get.

I went to school with the Mayfair Peeping Tom...

2007-02-23T06:32:00.000-06:00

Ok, for one this is gross. I have known this creep since I was in 8th grade. He was weird then. The typical metal head that wore the infamous Metallica t-shirt reading Metal up your ass. Liked Ozzy so much he would write his name on his knuckles and it was rumored that he even filed his teeth.

Well anyway mutual friends confirmed that he has been in jail more that out of is and it looks like Eddie has a new hobby. Photographing women in the bathroom. I can't believe he is only getting a misdomeaner for this.

Shit Happens!

2007-02-22T20:21:00.000-06:00

Well I have been out of the loop for a while and so much stuff has been happening in my life that it's time I sat down and blogged about it.

I finally have a real job! Like an 8:30 to 5 job! To those of you that know me, you know that for the past 4 years I dragged my ass out of bed at 3:30 am to deliver the Milwaukee Journal. Well last Friday I quit. I took a full time position for the company I worked for right before I took the crap job at the paper. So anyway they stick me in this room with these funny guys and now everyday there is something funny going around. I told them that they better be careful cuz im going to blog about it.

Check Update!

2006-12-21T18:21:00.000-06:00

I pondered that thing for hours wishing that it indeed was valid. Well i'm like 95% sure that is not. I did manage to call the FBI no not female body inspectors Lol. Well it sounded cool to say I called them. I really did though. Anyway the gentleman on the phone said that the check most likely originated in Nigeria and typically there is a note enclosed stating that you should cash the check and wire the money back to Nigeria and they get rich while your happy ass is getting investigated. I still plan on contacting Wachovia Bank so that they are aware that this is still occuring. The FBI also gave me an interesting piece of statistical information. At least 10,000 of these checks come through each state per month and that alt least 5 or 6 people per month are stupid enough to cash them. Somehow someone got my address from a list somewhere and that is how I got this check. I hope that this reaches out to someone so that people know that these things are going on. I guess I'm not the sucker I thought I was.

There is also another scam going around watch out for the people from a London textile company they try to scam you into thinking they are giving you a job you get the money send it to them and then you get a "comission" How I burned them I told them to send me information about the company and what type of "job" I would actually be doing. Never heard from them again.

I know this may sound a bit freaky but I am a single woman and not afraid to admit that I have investigated a few potential suitors as far as having the plates on the car looked up. It sounds extreme but you can never be too careful and God bless CCAP!

I Wish HP Was Giving Away Money

2006-12-20T19:33:00.000-06:00

I got this in the mail today... What Do you think? Notice that there is no postage stamp on the envelope and the bar code is there? Huh???

Man what I could do with this money! If you can't see it the check is made out for $3250.00.

Dear Alcohol...

2006-12-19T06:48:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas Enjoy!

Someone sent this to me via e-mail and I thougt it was pretty funny... Dana Carvey was right you cant say the word "Judicial" without sounding like a drunken idiot. Try it!

Dear Alcohol,

First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays, hidden inside chocolates, as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night?

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/ passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities. Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,

Your biggest fan

P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3.Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it>>lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.

Where the heck have I been????

2006-12-19T06:44:00.000-06:00

Shit I don't even know anymore. I started this blog like a year ago and was really religious at posting something like everyday right?

I think i'm having one of them life storms again. Or maybe its because I am working 2 jobs. None the less I hope to bring some stuff back here to share. I know the rest of you in the Cheddarsphere are probably getting irritated.

Miller "Friday Night Lights"

2006-12-19T06:33:00.000-06:00

I'm sure you have all seen it. Driving down state street at night. Well I took the kids to the brewery last Friday night. It started at the visitor center and a tour guide walked us into the theater. We watched a 10 minute video. If anyone has ever been to the regular tour the video is a hoot! "It's Miller Time" Then the tour proceeded down state street to see the light extravaganza 100,000 LED lights marching to "Wizards in winter" pretty cool! The kids liked it. After that well got a tour of the tunnels Fred Miller dug in the 1850's to keep the beer cold. Had no idea it was 60 degrees in there all the time and its 62 feet underground. We then proceeded to the "Miller Inn" to sample some of the beer 2 cups I think it was Lite and Fosters. They offered the children there pretzels and soda. They also have postcards to send and they pay the postage. I sent out 2 one to the goofball who was supposed to join me and another to my dad just to brag how cool the lights were.. I don't know if this is something that they do all the time but it was neat. This Friday Dec 22 is the last Friday they will be doing the tours with the lights. It starts at 5pm to 8pm and the tours run every 20 minutes. At the end of the tour they do hold a raffle to get some schwag. The price to get in FREE!

Hazzard Pay?

2006-11-22T06:39:00.000-06:00

I am sure most of you have heard the news about the Milwaukee Journal Carrier getting shot this morning. I have always been suspicious if any thing like this have ever happened. When I started they told me to carry Mace. If only a concealed carry law was in effect! I'd be packing!

I have another tenant!

2006-10-31T06:31:00.000-06:00

Here I thought I was done with the wildlife issues. I know some of you remember that I reported this spring that I had a female opossum under my porch.

I got a very rude awakening this morning when I came home. My new tenant is black and white and really stinky. Though I have not seen it yet I know its there and now I need to know how to get rid of it and to the one who told me to play NPR that didn't work the last time! I did replace the porch light and that seemed disturbing to the opossum so I shoved newspaper down the hole and waited. After seeing no activity for a few weeks I realized that it had moved and filled the hole. Well for some reason the animals like this spot and the hole is in the same place as the last time. What the heck is a woman who has had a fear of being sprayed by a skunk to do? Yes have been paranoid all my life and I wonder how I do my morning paper run knowing that them things are out there. I'm also looking forward to the migraines that are going to occur now because these critters are one of my triggers. My life sucks!

Man it stinks in here!

I'm out of my box...

2006-10-18T09:23:00.000-05:00

Well the more and more I get out of the box the more and more I realize that I should have just stayed in it. As of late I have been doing a wee bit of bar hopping. I never really was much of a drinker in the first place but I figure where could I meet new and interesting people? Right? Anyway for me to go out on a weeknight is completely absurd well you know I miss "Drinking Right" every month. Well one of these days dammit i'm going to do it. That's beside the point here. So I went to Danny Lynches last night. From previous experience I thought this was a "biker" bar well it might be. I played a few games of pool and a couple games of darts and was reminded why I don't play because I suck so maybe I will stick to the karaoke or go back to my sheltered life.

Weird Crap!

2006-10-18T09:15:00.000-05:00

Well I know you have all heard of Wal-Mart anyway I thought this needed to be blogged about considering I havn't posted anything in a while.

Yes worthy and a bit grotesque but cute...

FetusMart Just what it says in the title you can adopt you own special fetus in a jar. Many varieties to choose from.

I adopted a cute lil' pikachu fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

Music Reviews...

2006-10-04T09:17:00.000-05:00

Buy These CD's!

Continuum by: John Mayer If anyone saw the episode of CSI last week, he was on there and if you liked the 2 songs he did on the show you will love the whole thing!

Need "Booty Jams"? Justin Timberlakes latest is "HOT" those of you who want a sneak peek can download the songs for free on Urge you don't need a credit card for the 14 day trial either. FYI

Fun at the Karaoke Bar...

2006-09-30T13:35:00.000-05:00

I really wasn't much of a drinker in the first place but things lately have been driving me to do it. I went out last night. I realize that things haven't changed much. You still have your "regulars" and those that I remember have much less hair now and such bad "dunlap" disease it makes me wonder why I keep coming back. I do have to say I still got it, getting hit on feels pretty darn good. I have my self - confidence back and now I know it shows. I was able to get up there last night and do 3 songs. I surprised myself I didn't think had the courage to do it. I even got some applause. Before I was married I used to frequent this bar for the pure fact they had Karaoke and on Friday nights.

My Place on 76th & Bluemound if anybody is interested. It's not a bad place they do offer pool and darts and the crowd is a good mix.

My Poison = Cherry UV and Coke "I love Vodka"

Ok what did she sing I know your wondering...

Fall to pieces = Avril Lavigne

Breakaway = Kelly Clarkson

Round Here = Counting Crows

Review: The RazrV3

2006-09-28T14:50:00.000-05:00

Yes, I just recently acquired a new cell phone and so far I'm liking it. I signed up for Cingular because through AT&T they offer combined billing.

Compared to the Nokia I had this has a lot of super features I like the double screen I can see who is calling without having to open the phone. I prefer the flip vs the candy bar style. I can also set more than on alarm and trust me this thing is loud. I sleep like a rock its so annoying that I an completely unable to desensitize from the noise. The camera function is nice but the only drawback is you have to purchase software to download the pics to your computer at a cost of about 30 bucks. It is also bluetooth enabled so when I want to go high tech when I get that cubicle job and feel important I can look cool with an earpiece like everybody else, NOT! I think those people are annoying.

God there is a cure...

2006-09-28T14:44:00.000-05:00

I cant believe there is a site dedicated to this... Well yes I can you can find just about anything on the net these days.

For those of you who suffer like me

I thought of Aaron when I read the following I know he sometimes wonders how he gets his traffic. I know his satire is the reason I keep reading

• Satirical - One of the reasons I got into blogging was that I stumbled across a couple of bloggers who were writing in a satirical form and taking pot shots at politicians (I can’t seem to find the blog to link to). Well written satire or parody can be incredibly powerful and is brilliant for generating links for your blog.