2005-12-10T06:42:00.000-08:00

Admit It ---- Who Doesn't Want To Be Slim??? ( Note that i say slim and not thin.There's a hell lot difference between these two words. Mind you. :p)

This is definitely a topic close to the heart of all women. From the past to the present, we, the female species take pride in dressing ourselves up. And obviously without a slim figure, we would not be able to fit our body into the ever-so pretty outfit , which unfortunately always come in miniature size only. And so this is when it all begins .

"I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT! LIMPEH, DON'T CARE USE ANY METHOD MUST ALSO SLIM DOWN! "

So aha, see what I mean? We all do sometimes n more than often wish to own a more-than-perfect figure. But alas, God only gave few people in this world the ability to indulge without getting fat. ( And i'm certainly not one of them. haha. ) So what should we do? Surely, there are solutions to solve this problem!

Indeed there are. The following are some ways that I have heard of. ( Oops, I didn't mean u should try them all, k?)

Tadah!!!!!

1) The formidable and never-fail weight loss formula ------Laxatives!!!!

Once you take a laxative, the poo just shoots out your ass like a chocolaty waterfall...the feeling is....dare I say....replenishing and erotic. Liquid laxatives....they're wonderful....

Recognise her? This is Rachael Hunter. Oh so this is how she managed to be so slim! If not for this photo, I guess you guys would never believe me. Incredulous, doesn't it all seem?

2) The all-time favourite ----- Nothing else but APPLES and APPLES for meals!!!!! ( Is this your favourite too? )

This clever method devised by clearly someone who LOVES apples, certainly works for most people and it is without doubt the cheapest method. By surviving on apples only, one can shed up to 2-5 kg per week. Moreover, one can eat as much apples as he want - even up to eight per day! Aah, isn't that great? And you will feel full all the time.
But GUESS WHAT? WHAT IS THE BEST PART ABOUT THIS METHOD?
The best part is that YOU WILL EVENTUALLY BECOME ANOREXIC! You will come to the extent of not wanting to eat anymore. BINGO! Isn't this what you want? Sooner, you will also end up in the hospital and if Lady Luck happened to look after you, you could very well be entrusted to the care of a handsome doctor . There's why the proverb says " An apple a day keeps the doctors away. " However ,more than one apple( for example, eight ) a day will bring you closer to the doctors. :)

3) The commercial method --- Slimming pills!!!!
Slimming pills work wonder. Zoe Tay is one of the living proof of the miracles that Extrim can create . After her pregnancy, she managed to slim down to her before-pregnancy weight after consumingi’9 Extrim. I bet that a lot of people would still remember the recent famous cha-cha advertisement which starred Zoe with her amazing figure.
( Hey! Slimming companies, can please endorse me ? Everytime I watch television and see those slimming challenges , I want to cry so desperately! Why always not me ?! Not fat enough ?! I eat fatter then...)

4) The operation method --- Stapling your stomach!!!!
Stapling your stomach or otherwise known as cutting away a part of your intestines is recommended only for morbidly obese people. It is quite effective in that one would cut down his food intake. If you are desperate, you can give this a go. It is heard that Singapore government do subsidize part of the fees for overweight people. But if you do it, you can forget about wearing skimpy bikinis ever again because the scar left after the operation would be huge.

5) The slow but guaranteed results ---Exercise!!!
Skipping? ~ can make your heart go "pong pong pong"( just like what Lin Yi Lian said in the SK II advertisement ) after a while

Gym? ~ got air-conditioning and fit people to stress you to slim down

Dance? ~ Watch some Hindu movie and mimic the Hindu dance ...from coconut tree to MRT to shoping mall to park and back to your home kitchen ..still dancing and rolling. Get a partner to dance with you!!!.....if Steven Lim is 'NOT' free, then call me!

Okay, the above are just for humour. We should be content with our figures whether it's slim, fat, small or big. My Friends, we are beautiful for those who love us. If you still want to slim down, moderation is the way to go! I believed that eating and exercising in moderation is the best way to slim down. Well perhaps, I may be wrong. To each his own--- not every plan or diet works for everyone. That's it! ( I'm going to binge now. haha.)

fathomless abyss of emotions