tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-196939552009-12-18T01:54:14.242-05:00The Statute of Limitations on My Integrity Has Expired.The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.comBlogger696125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-70275345223982269232009-11-24T19:19:00.004-05:002009-11-24T19:29:55.931-05:00

Today, for some reason I can't even fathom, my assistant told me that I'm like having Batman for a boss. Of course, that made me wonder if this was the particular Batman she was referring to:

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-23686141021658132282009-10-05T08:36:00.003-04:002009-10-05T17:02:13.393-04:00

If only my parents had gotten me this book in junior high, I would have known how to pray my way to AWESOME with devotionals for teens.I was not an awesome teenager. I didn't even make it to cool. I was pretty damn awkward, which was probably the reason I gave up believing in God. (Come to think of it, the same probably goes for the Tooth Fairy, which is why I'm not only not awesome, but have

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-3863616309055129962009-10-02T13:20:00.001-04:002009-10-02T13:45:33.735-04:00

Although my civic fealty always belongs to Chicago, I was sad for no more than ninety seconds that my hometown lost the Olympics bid. When it comes to corruption, pointedly overlooking crime, awesomely friendly peoples, and a dirty good time, Rio is Chicago's sister city, except with fewer clothes. Although, between the pierogies and pizza, perhaps that's a quality Chicago doesn't need to

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-32820085563348396692009-09-24T08:18:00.000-04:002009-09-24T09:40:04.437-04:00

I wonder which will cause me to break down first? Buying these boots with a long unspent gift certificate:Or breaking down and admitting to myself that I want to read the new Dan Brown book in spite of all of my literary snootiness?

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-16473833670152584012009-09-14T07:40:00.002-04:002009-09-14T13:59:47.363-04:00

The Object of My Affection bought himself a sparkly new guitar. No, really, it's sparkly:(Note the acoustic guitar, relegated to a position of shame in the corner.)About an hour after the Object got the guitar, we decided to institute some new regulations in our house. These stipulate that I get to veto him playing along with the song on stereo in a different key. After much negotiation, we

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-36741064682681146942009-09-09T08:44:00.001-04:002009-09-09T16:59:58.524-04:00

Dear Mr. Baucus,I am a brand-new student of public health. In my very first chapter of the textbook, I read the following:"Demand for costly services is largely determined by the health care provider rather than by the consumers. Competitive market forces have not worked well for those in greatest need."I just wanted to let you know that on the most basic, public health 101 level, if you don't

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-32890216459072451532009-09-04T08:11:00.002-04:002009-09-04T09:50:00.123-04:00

My Future is BrightObserve:The Down SideI am going to get my ass handed to me on a silver platter. I was already a little addle-brained over the bio. Then, in Global Health Frameworks, our professor asked, "How many people have had organic chemistry? Remember when you got your first grade of50 on a paper? This class is kind of like that."The Up SideHappily, the public health and international

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-63837462658223153212009-08-28T08:10:00.000-04:002009-08-28T08:10:00.101-04:00

My mom and I used to shop together at Laura Ashley. We'd get matching dresses with calico prints and puffy sleeves to wear to church. I've always heard that Mexico is a very Catholic country, but somehow, the mother-daughter shopping seems a little different.

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-75786960563145695502009-08-27T20:01:00.003-04:002009-08-27T20:08:03.949-04:00

Give to Prayer Hour.

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-57020589445058465752009-08-24T16:18:00.002-04:002009-08-24T16:22:00.572-04:00

Do you know how long I've been trying to find a place where I could get juice, a smoothie, chocolate Eskimo milk, fresh natural fruit water, and a free medical consultation? At long last, the wait is over.

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-13978020618721141742009-08-20T14:31:00.003-04:002009-08-20T14:43:04.519-04:00

I'm in Morelia, Mexico this week, attending the most absurd convention I've ever been to. It's an exercise in complete and utter culture shock. Our booth, which we're sharing with the wonderfully hospitable Mexican association, is simultaneously playing opera and Christmas music videos at night club volume. The booth across from us is playing the music video for Thriller. Pharmaceutical ladies

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-32058815270336491152009-08-07T17:24:00.002-04:002009-08-07T17:26:03.346-04:00

This little neighborly exchange makes me so unbelievably happy, I don't even know what to do with myself. The icing on the cake:I would like to file a formal complaint about several yards in the neighborhood... The woman at 138 has a saddle and stirrups decorating her mailbox. What is that all about? I, for one, am not a cowboy, do not like cowboys and find it horrifying how the cowboys treated

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-14850446483361322412009-07-22T08:05:00.000-04:002009-07-22T11:10:26.650-04:00

Check out the 15 Creepiest Vintage Ads of All Time. Which do you think is worse: the woman as a rug that a man conquered, or the fact that women thought Lysol was a better douching alternative than soup?Waaaaait a minute. Soup? As in, Campbell's Big 'n' Beefy? Clam chowder jokes aside, the whole concept gives a delightfully new and nuanced meaning to the phrase, that makes me want to blow chunks.

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-23195862946288763552009-06-25T17:14:00.002-04:002009-06-25T23:32:01.804-04:00

Cancel the Super Bowl halftime show, take off the sequin glove;Prevent the weird little monkey from bubbling out his loveSilence the discos and with muted MTVBring on the Dateline Tributes and bloviating MSNBC.Millennium generation, the last vestiges of our youth officially died today. In memoriam, let Filipino prisoners express the words that fail us.You know it's where Jacko would have wanted

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-87063622225709973942009-06-17T08:12:00.000-04:002009-06-17T09:35:18.946-04:00

I spent two weeks in Berlin recently, a town known for being full of coke-addled artists. I'd read that the cocaine was so prevalent, it's even in their Red Bull, which seems redundant. But in speaking to Berliners, the lack of cocaine was one of the first things they'd mention about their city. "Here in Berlin, we like to make the party all night," one man told me, adding almost wistfully, "

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-14723120114350759082009-06-15T13:52:00.004-04:002009-06-15T14:10:41.773-04:00

I missed you all, too. In the last few months, I got into grad school, narrowly avoided becoming a swine flu vector, gave birth to a metaphoric career baby, and divided my time between three different hemispheres. Traveling so much makes me appreciate home that much more when I get back; I get a little teary (or possibly just blearly, after 9-12 hours on a plane, it's impossible to tell the

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-28990831328928867872009-04-02T12:56:00.004-04:002009-04-02T13:03:23.785-04:00

Evidently, the meeting of the G-20 also involved a trip to the Sears Portrait Gallery.

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-70766695949307168892009-03-27T08:45:00.002-04:002009-03-27T10:27:16.876-04:00

I'll bet Weng Weng is excited.

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-45079687149553720692009-03-25T07:40:00.001-04:002009-03-25T15:58:40.073-04:00

Welcome to the world, new cloudy leopard cubs!!!At long last, something to fill the void left by the panda cam having become uninteresting. Stupid baby panda cub that grew up. You're not the size of a stick of butter anymore, and you're not nearly as cute anymore, are you Butterstick*?I also appreciate that this new zoo cub species seems to be even more incapable of perpetuating its species than

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-64078427919414897612009-03-11T07:36:00.002-04:002009-03-11T10:26:07.991-04:00

For some years now, the Object has been trying to get me to move to Portland. He talks about how green it is, how great the music scene is,and how much generally cooler the peoples there are, as determined by the disaffected nature of its youth, and the griminess of its hipsters scum, a layer of filth that we in DC can only aspire to.And then I read that Portland is the Unhappiest City in America

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-63131582133616684072009-03-04T07:09:00.003-05:002009-03-04T07:09:00.311-05:00

Twitter. Bah. What's it good for? Sure, everyone wants to the opportunity to blow the cover on your hush-hush fact-finding mission to Iraq, but can it save your life? Evidently not, as one unlucky billionaire found out this week.Much respect for the earnest tweeter who called for "(no tweets for the next hour)" in memoriam of his fallen friend. A poigniantly modern requiem. Nay, truly, a "tragedy

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-65311985365862898832009-03-03T08:40:00.000-05:002009-03-03T11:08:40.965-05:00

Here's an update for those people who were all in a tizzy yesterday about Barack Obama's call for flinty Chicago toughness jacking DC out of a snow day. As was pointed out to me by Carijudy, if we were in Chicago, we would have had the day off yesterday.

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-57928203827021395502009-03-02T12:50:00.003-05:002009-03-02T17:12:21.744-05:00

I have seen the four snowmen of the snowpacalypse. We had two inches of snow here in the District. As you may recall, President Obama said we're not tough enough, so we only got two extra hours to get to work. Normally, this sort of weather would get us two or three days off.The peoples are not happy. Judging by their comments, this is pure, unadulterated evidence of not only What's Wrong with

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-72111613859601776822009-02-26T08:15:00.000-05:002009-02-26T10:27:30.193-05:00

Do you ever feel like the drama in your life warrants a soundtrack by Metallica? I do. But mostly Metallica of the kazoo band ilk.Tip o' the Goo to Rababob.

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19693955.post-12727275134572308982009-02-25T12:57:00.004-05:002009-02-25T15:07:38.719-05:00

Last night's We-Can't-Officially-Call-It-the-State-of-the-Union State Of the Union address demonstrated that Barack Obama has mastered the art of speechification. I appreciated how race and socioeconomics played into the evening, subtly and not-so-subtly. First, BaHO slyly called out to engage America's minorities, who make up the overwhelming majority of America's high school drop outs:Dropping

The Goohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06476132629964300837noreply@blogger.com0