Mary Blaustone

I'VE MOVED

2008-09-20T20:01:00.000-07:00

That's right. I've moved my blog to Wordpress.

My new address is www.maryblaustone.wordpress.com

Come visit me there real soon!

Blessings to all, and goodbye for now, Blogger.

mary

Countdown Wedding Day

2008-07-16T17:31:00.000-07:00

Wedding planning has been a daily task these days. We are down to the last 2 months. Invitations are out. Venue is booked. Dresses are being made, suits are being rented, photographer is booked, and the D.J.'s ready to rock. We even chose the cake at a wonderfully, delicious cake tasting last night. I can't tell you what it is because we want it to be a surprise. The above picture should give you a hint. And I have two words for you....YUM!

In light of all the tremendous progress we've made in planning, there still seems to be a million things left to do. Linens and chairs to rent, finalizing the food, taking candles over to the fire department to have them fire tested and approved for use, hiring security guards for the reception (what do they think we're going to do for heaven's sake?). And then there's the flowers. We still have to get the flowers. And the decorations, and...oh dear...I still don't have a dress. Friends, as well as my mother keep asking me, "What are you going to wear, Mary? Have you gone shopping for yourself yet? Whata ya mean you haven't gotten a dress yet? You can't wait till the last minute!" For goodness sake people...I haven't had a chance to think about it. Who knows, maybe I'll just pull my own wedding dress out of the box and wear that. It still looks good.

But in all seriousness. This truly has been an amazing experience. I already feel like I could write a book on what to do, and what not to do when planning your only daughters wedding...and I'm not even finished yet. The time I've spent with Natalie in the planning and preparation has been so precious. I treasure every moment. She won't be here much longer; in our home that is. The very thought of that...well, I just can't imagine it. How blessed I am to be so intricately involved in the planning of this glorious celebration. Stress and all...I wouldn't change a thing.

Trying not to countdown to quickly,

The Mother Of The Bride

Quote For Today

2008-06-20T11:54:00.000-07:00

My dear friend, Kay Moja sent me this quote today.

"There is nothing – no circumstance, no trouble, no testing – that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and gone past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose, which I may not understand at that moment. But as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift my eyes to His and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing, to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will cause me to fret – for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is. That is the victory of faith."

Alan Redpath

A day in the life

2008-05-22T15:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't really used this blog as a means to let people know of the everyday events of my life. Not that that's a bad thing. It just hasn't been the direction I wanted to take.

But that's about to change...at least in this post.

Here's a brief, and in no way complete, recap of recent events in my life.

My children are growing up

And talk about anticipating the empty nest. It's happening as I speak. I'm planning my daughters wedding, as well as getting ready for Nate's graduation from High School. The two of them are gone more then they are home. What with school, work, girlfriend, fiance...you name it and it'll take them away from home. At least my baby boy, Zach, is still around. But wait! He's turning 16 this summer. He'll be getting his drivers license. And he too, being the skater dude that he is, seems to be gone more and more these days.

And Mom just watches. Sometimes helplessly, but not hopelessly. I believe this is what we raise them for. We pour ourselves into our children, teaching them to the best of our abilities to be respectful human beings, good communicators (at least the Blaustone's do), competent in their abilities to take care of themselves and to be financially responsible. Then, as always...you pray, pray, pray. You let go, and let God work in and through their lives. But I have to say, my heart still hurts these days.

Chris in Sedona

Chris took a trip to Arizona to spend some time with his mom. Carol has been fighting the battle against cancer for almost 5 years now. She gave up a lung the first time around. Now she fights with one. Her chemo has been changed to a pill that she will take once a day, every day...probably for the rest of her life. The goal is to shrink the tumors and provide a remission.

Carol Blaustone is a fighter though. She's a little spit fire who loves to talk. Let me say that again. She loves to talk...which sheds a little more light on my husbands passion for gab. She has been through so much over the last 5 years. The first lung removal, radiation, and then chemo. After this last remission more cancer was found and a second, little surgery happened. When you have one lung you can't just remove it, or pick at it for that matter. After this, another round of chemo. And now the once a day chemo pill. But like I said, she's a fighter, and she's strong. She blows everyone in the family away in that regard. I love her dearly.

To get a job, or not to get a job...

That is the question. I had the fun privilege of working at a Christian book store for over a year. I hadn't worked in a number of years before getting that job. I ended up quiting back in November and have been jobless ever since.

Now, the thought of going back to work isn't the most appealing to me, but it is necessary. I mean, hello...wedding. So, needless to say, I NEED direction. There aren't a whole lot of jobs out there these days. Not to mention that making more than $8 an hour would be special ;-)

Anything else?

Lets see. It's very windy outside. And, I'm going to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull tonight!

I said it would be incomplete.

Blessings to all

Quote for today...

2008-05-22T09:36:00.000-07:00

"Christ died for men precisely because men are not worth dying for:

to make them worth it."

C.S. Lewis

Guarded Heart

2008-05-20T23:37:00.000-07:00

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:6-7

As I was looking through my journal, I found some thoughts I wrote down at our women's retreat back in April. The theme of the retreat was "Pure and Simple", taken from Philippians 4. My journal entry came from the above verse.

"What is it that allows me to dismiss the guard which my Lord sets around my heart and mind? Peace leaves as I take my eyes off of the Giver of Peace. Trust seems distant when I stop trusting in the Father of Truth and I open my ears to the father of lies. I exchange thankfulness for emptiness; gentleness for fear; And joy? Joy is traded for the fleeting, temporary, cloaked happiness...which always fades away.

But I know what to do. I will call on the Lord, Jesus...the Guard of my heart and mind. The One who loves me, protects me, comforts and fills me. The One who hears me before I speak, saw me before I was born, and called me by name to be His own. The One who saves me forever. For at just the mention of His name, the Name of Jesus...Light fills the dark spaces. And even as I say "Thank You, Jesus", emptiness is filled with blessing; fears are vanquished in His gentle love and protection. And Joy? Joy makes its home permanently in my heart, no matter what may come.

So come, God of Peace, and guard my heart and mind through Your Son."

[re:New]

2008-04-27T19:11:00.000-07:00

Calvary Chapel Healdsburg has been a fellowship for over 7 years now, and from the beginning, ministry to our youth has been very important. Within the first 6 months of our church start, God provided us with our first youth pastor, Sean.

Over the years the Jr. High and High school kids were fed the Word of God. They worshipped together, camped together, served in Mexico, traveled, played, and simply just loved being together. The group grew as the kids shared the love of Jesus with their friends at school. All I can say is, it was good.

Then, about a year and a half ago, Sean felt it was time to move on. That's kind of the way ministry happens. You go where God leads. Anything else just wouldn't make sense. And so...we were left without a youth pastor.

My husband Chris decided to step into that roll to fill the need, and we prayed like crazy for a new youth pastor. Chris and I both have a lot of experience in High School and youth ministry, but let me tell you...that doesn't make a bit of difference if God hasn't called you to the job.

So, Chris faithfully taught the kids the Word, and other servants filled in for the group from time. But, the kids seemed to flounder, for the connection to a "youth pastor" just wasn't there. Don't get me wrong though. They loved Chris. I mean, what's not to love? But it wasn't the same. It felt temporary, and the group dwindled. It was sad to watch. So...we prayed harder.

Now, can I just tell you that God answers prayer? OK, I will. God answers prayer. And not only does He answer, but He goes above and beyond what we could ask or think. I guess that's because He knows best just what we need.

7 months ago, God sent us Dave Ower and his beautiful wife, Heidi, in answer to our prayers. God's response was so timely, so precise, and above and beyond what we could ask or think. Dave is young and energetic (key in youth ministry), and faithful in the teaching of God's Word. It's been such a blessing to watch the Lord breathe new life into our youth ministry.

I guess the main reason for this post is to direct you all to Daves web site. It's called [re:New]

Dave put together this web site as an alternative way to connect with the youth in our fellowship, or anyone who might want to stop by for that matter. You can read a great bio on Dave and Heidi and what God has done in their lives, or look at pictures of youth group events. And make sure you visit the [re:Write]page. You'll be blessed by what you read there.

So, there's my plug and praise to God for Dave and Heidi.

Did I tell you that God answers prayer?

very thankful,

Mary

Seeing The Invisible - Part 2

2008-04-05T09:05:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share another "eye opener". This is another truth that I know I've known, yet for whatever reason, for me, I've only been experiencing it through cloudy eyes.

This next quote is taken from Major Ian's book, The Indwelling Life Of Christ

"Salvation is so much more than a change of destination from hell to heaven! The true spiritual content of our gospel is not just heaven one day, but Christ here and now. In the economy of God, conversion is only an essential preliminary to discipleship, which is a lifetime of allowing Christ to live in you and do His work through you.

"Your salvation is also a million times more than simply knowing your sins are forgiven. As a forgiven sinner you are to be reinhabited by your Maker, reinvaded by Deity, so that your humanity becomes intelligently available to an intelligent God for the intelligent purpose for which He intelligently created you. That is the true sanctification, as the Bible explains it."

"And this is eternal life: It means to know, to perceive, recognize, become acquainted with, and understand You, the only true and real God, and likewise to know Him, Jesus as the Christ, the Anointed One, the Messiah, Whom You have sent."

John 17:3, AMP

What do you think? Maybe it's time we open our eyes and start experiencing heaven today!

Heavenly Father...Thank you for making me "intelligently available" for Your "intelligent purpose" in my life.

Intelligently seeking Him,

MB

Seeing The Invisible

2008-03-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm trying to get myself back on track...whatever that means. Ever since my grandma died back in January, life has been a bit off kilter for me. A lot of traveling in different directions to see family. Various ministry events and happenings with the church. Issues of the heart right here close to home that seem to wring my emotions dry at times. My daughter getting engaged, and the planning of the wedding. That one is certainly a happy distraction, but still quickly approaching and picking at my heart strings.

So, what have I been doing, you might ask, to get myself back on track?

Well, today...I baked banana bread. And boy oh boy does it smell good. It tastes even better.

But that's beside the point...

I've been getting into the Word more and more, as well as going through a devotional called, The Indwelling Life of Christ, All of Him in All of Me by Major Ian Thomas. I know I'll be writing more about that book here in this blog. It has been speaking to me in combination with the Word of God in a way that is so necessary of me right now. I want Jesus in every area of my life. The older I get, the more this becomes a reality to me. He's working, but sometimes I just don't see it. Even in and through the painful circumstances. Even in the life of someone who isn't looking for Him...He's working. A greater good. A greater glory. It may be unseen, but it's there.

Now, if this sounds a bit too deep and ethereal...believe me, I hear you. But this is where He has me right now. Attempting to grasp concepts that can cause the brain to pop. I want to learn to see the invisible. I don't want to be so caught up in the visual circumstances in front of my eyes that I miss the work that is producing an eternal weight of glory. What does that mean? I'm not sure...it's too high. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me.

But I think I'm learning to see the invisible

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Ding Dong The Bells Are Gonna Chime!

2008-03-13T13:42:00.000-07:00

Justin and Natalie are Engaged!

And thus begins the planning of a wedding in 6 months or less. I couldn't be more blessed. This will definitely make for some good posting.

So pull out the stopper, let's have a whopper, But get me to the church on time!

"I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all my heart, And I will glorify Your name forevermore."

Psalm 86:12

Is it just me....

2008-02-29T09:15:00.000-08:00

or are airports simply ghastly places?

Some of you are saying..."Oh no, I love airports. I love travel. I love crowds. I love waiting in long lines, with cameras watching and TSA personnel who look like they've been doing this job for 50 years (no offence). I love to fill up 2 plastic bins with all my belongings...placing pointless items in a plastic bag so they don't "explode"...removing my shoes, belt, and jacket so I can walk through a metal detector and then put my clothes back on in front of everyone on the other side. I love having to open my carry-on to let the security guy rifle through it just because...I love that."

And one more thing. Why do the maintenance people get to literally just "flash" their badges and walk on through? Does that make any sense at all? How do we know they're not evil?

O.K. This random, sarcastic post is all to say that Chris and I did have a nice trip to visit his family in Arizona for his sisters birthday.

Here's a little airplane/airport humor from my favorite comedian, Brian Regan

Nora

2008-02-12T14:09:00.000-08:00

I had promised to write about my grandma, but it's obviously taken me a while to do that. How do I put into words the simple beauty of this sweet little lady?

Nataline "Nora" Saraceni was born, Nataline Chicklo on June 15, 1914 in Pennsylvania. Her mother and father, my great grandparents, were Italian immigrants. When "Nora" was 15 years old, her mother died. She was taken out of school and brought home to help care for her father and 6 brothers and sisters. I remember her telling me she was only educated through about the 8th grade. Her simple life of giving and serving others started at such a young age. As far as I'm concerned...it didn't end until the day she died.

My memories of her...so many...too many to write about. The earliest ones are sweet and simple. She was beautiful. I have a photo of her that was taken when she was about 18 or 19 years old. She's wearing a summer type short outfit, and let me tell you...she had great legs. Even in her 60's, 70's, and 80's, the women had great legs.

Memory:

Whenever I'd give her a hug and a kiss, she smelled of Emeraude cologne and Oil Of Olay. I was priveleged to grow up with my grandparents living close by. My sister and I would frequently spend weekends at Grandmas house.

Memory:

To me, Grandmas house always smelled like pasta and coffee. We would sleep on clean, crisp cotton sheets and wake to Cream of Wheat and butterd Roman Meal toast for breakfast. I loved listening to my grandma talking on their one, black, rotary dial telephone at the end of the hallway. She use to play checkers with us, taught us to play Black Jack, and a game she called "Piggy" that I swear she made up just to keep us busy.

She used to cut my hair with a razor. Boy did that hurt...not to mention looked terrible. I have many childhood pictures of me with "Grandma haircuts".

Memory:

She loved garage sales, and would have them herself quite frequently. I attribute this to her being a product of the Depression Era. She saved absolutely everything. If she found some value in what she was saving, she would carefully wrap it in tissue paper and place it in a plastic bag. After her death we found many things in plastic bags. A few years ago she blessed me with a wonderful gift. Her wedding dress. It's a beautiful, off white, 1930's style dress. It was much too small for anyone to ever wear again. My grandma was a tiny little thing. When she gave it to me, it was wrapped in tissue paper and placed in a plastic bag...and just as lovely as ever.

She worked in her garden, and washed down her front driveway with the hose all the time. She loved to keep up "apperances", even in their tiny, 1950's crackerbox house in Santa Ana.

Memory: Food

Oh my...so many of my Grandma memories include food.

Summertime meant weekends at Grandmas house. She'd make us K-Mart ham sandwiches on buttered hamburger buns. We'd take them along with potato chips to Balboa Beach for a picnic in the sun. My Grandpap would fish off the Balboa pier.

I have to say that Nora was an amazing Italian cook. I'm sure her culinary perfections were handed down from generations past. I always knew what to ask Grandma to cook for a birthday dinner. Potato Gnocchi of course. She made the best. It was a family affair with all of us at the table to "dig out" the little dumplings.

She also made the best meatballs I've ever had in my entire life. I asked her for her recipe once. Yet when I've made them, they taste nothing like hers.

She was also know for her Pizzells. Lacy Italian cookies with a hint of orange zest, sprinkled with powdered sugar. I've purchased a Pizzell iron, and I use her recipe, yet once again...nothing compared to hers.

Everything was a cooking lesson with Grandma. She liked to call my sisters and I into the kitchen while she was cooking to see if we wanted to help. I seemed to like this less and less as I entered my teen years. She would call us in to give us a lesson in the "proper" way to dish up Jello. Or, instruction on how to chop up a Zuccini. Being a teenager, her particular attention to the proper things in life frustrated me, and I would turn down her requests to join her in the kitchen. How I would give anything to go back there and spend more of that priceless cooking lesson time with her. I sure could use it now.

My mother and sisters and I were looking through my grandma's things after her death. We came across a collection of handwritten recipes that she had tucked away. Some of them on scraps of old, yellowed paper...definitely in her own hand writing. A pinch of this...a dash of that. What a treasure for us to find.

The other day I asked my mom to tell me about the various jobs my grandma had worked in her lifetime. A glass factory in Pennsylvania. A coat factory in California. A heart valve manufacturer, as well as a business that delivered food to the military PX.

But the one job she worked that I have a vivid memory of, was when she sold Sarah Coventry jewlery. Now, for those of you who don't remember this, back in the day, Sarah Coventry jewlery was "da bomb" of costume jewlery. All the soap opera stars wore it. Now my grandma could sell iceboxes to Eskimos and Arugula to hungry wolves.(hello...garage sales) Therefore, she was one of the top Sarah Coventry sellers in the state...maybe even in the nation. I was the proud owner of much of this jewlery as I was growing up. We always got it for birthdays and Christmas. I'm happy to say I now own a few more pieces. I'll keep them forever.

There is so much more I could write. So many memories. I know why it's taken me so long to write about my grandma Nora. It's just hard. I miss her so much. I know I'll see her again, but I miss her now.

Who knows...maybe I'll post a treasured recipe.

Nataline "Nora" Saraceni 1914 - 2008

Catching Up

2008-01-23T10:24:00.000-08:00

Or at least I'm trying to catch up.

We've had a tough couple of weeks in our family. My 93 year old grandmother went to be with Jesus two Sundays ago. No matter how much you think you might be ready for something like this, you never are. She was my last living Grandparent, and an absolutely amazing little lady. Nataline "Nora" Saraceni deserves to have some things written about her. So, my plan is to do that, here in a post, as soon as I can get it together. She took a piece of my heart with her. She will be missed.

I just finished up the book of Romans in my devotions this morning. What an awesome book. God speaks to me new and afresh every time I read it.

This particular time, chapter 12 stood out to me a little different. Let me explain. One of the ways I learn is through writing. I like to take notes. I love to write out my thoughts. Putting things down on paper gives substance to them. It makes it so the myriad of thoughts in my head are not just in my head. So, I decided to list out what Paul says in verses 3-21 of chapter 12. He's talking about the Christians responsibility toward God. I love this because it's so simple in his words. Listing it out brought it even more to life for me.

He starts the chapter by saying,

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

And now for the list...I title it, My Responsibility

1. Don't think more highly of myself than I ought to think - verse 3

2. Think soberly of myself - verse 3

3. Use my gifts as God has given them to me - verse 6-8

4. Love without hypocrisy - verse 9

5. Abhor evil - verse 9

6. Cling to what is good - verse 9

7. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love - verse 10

8. Honor one another and give preference to one another - verse 10

9. Don't lag in diligence - verse 11

10. Be fervent in the Spirit - verse 11

11. Serve the Lord - verse 11

12. Rejoice in hope - verse 12

13. Be patient in tribulation - verse 12

14. Continue steadfast in prayer - verse 12

13. Give to the needs of the saints - verse 13

14. Be hospitable - verse 13

15. Bless those who persecute you - verse 14

16. Bless and do not curse - verse 14

17. Rejoice with those who rejoice - verse 15

18. Weep with those who weep - verse 15

19. Be of the same mine toward one another - verse 16

20. Don't set my mind on high things - verse 16

21. Associate with the humble - verse 16

22. Don't be wise in my own eyes - verse 16

23. Don't repay evil for evil - verse 17

24. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men - verse 17

25. If at all possible, as much as I can, live peaceably with all men - verse 18

26. Don't avenge myself (God will take care of it) - verse 19

27. Don't overcome evil with evil - verse 21

28. Overcome evil with good - verse 21

I replaced the yous and yours with I's and mines and wow, it all came to life.

Well, just wanted to share that. Hope it blesses someone today.

I'll leave you with another beautiful picture taken up where we meet for church at the Rio Lindo Academy. Rachel took this one. The colors are breathtaking. Yet another beautiful season..Winter.

When it rains, it pours...

2008-01-04T23:43:00.000-08:00

It rained again today. It's been raining for a few days now, but today...it really rained.

It didn't just rain though. The bad stuff started at about 1:00A.M.. Hard, continuous, down pouring rain, as well as hurricane force winds. I heard they were clocked somewhere around 90mph in some areas. The noise during the night was so loud, I had to sleep with ear plugs in. But I slept none the less, in spite of the noise, and in spite of the fact that Chris was out of town. After 21 years of marriage it can still be hard for me to sleep when he's away.

I was pulled out of sleep early in the morning by the sound of yelling. I could hear it, even through the ear plugs. I got up to look out our bedroom window. The neighbor behind us, and the other neighbor next to them, were standing at their fences in the torrential rain and wind trying to talk, or rather yell to one another over the fence. This caused me to look down into our side yard. To my surprise it was filling with water and just about coming over the walkway. Thankfully, I had left our back gate open to allow water to flow out during the storm. None the less, for the water to be that high...ummm..not a good sign.

I threw on some jeans and a sweatshirt, put on my shoes and stuck a beanie on my head, then made my way out the front door. I knew what I would see as I rounded the corner to the drive way, I just didn't look forward to seeing it. Sure enough, the street from our house, all the way down to Old Redwood Hwy, was under water...and I mean under water. The creek across the street was pouring over it's banks. Water was running out of our backyard, and our neighbors backyard like a rushing river. Our neighbors front yard two doors down was completely under water up to their front porch. I stood out there in the pouring rain, simply dumbfounded, and still half asleep. I thought to myself, "Man, if I hadn't slept with earplugs in I would have woken up sooner." I don't know what good that would have done though. The rain still would have come. Kind of reminds me of that Sunday school song about Noah with that verse that says, "The rains came down and the floods came up, the rains came down and the floods came up"...they sure did.

Once again, my God, who knows I need visuals in order to learn and retain information, teaches me in the rain and the flood. Ya see, ever since Chris' emergency Appendectomy we seem to be getting hit with one rain storm after another. When Chris was in the hospital, we received some news about his mom's health which was hard to hear. She had battled lung cancer a few years ago. We were really hoping she was over it. Then, after he came home from the hospital, Roby Duke had a massive heart attack and went home to be with Jesus. We were so stunned by this news as we had plans to hear him play on New Years eve. Next, my grandma was hospitalized with Pneumonia and congestive heart failure. She's hooked up to life support machines as my mother struggles to make all the "right" decisions. My older sister is also having health issues that are weighing on her heart, as she also has had cancer in the past.

It wasn't but a couple days ago I was sharing with someone about all these issues. They responded with that all too familiar phrase, "When it rains, it pours." As they said it, I remembered a day back when Chris was still in the hospital recovering from his surgery. We were on one of his many "around the ward" walks. They told him the more he walked, the sooner he could go home. Anyway, during this trek, I grabbed a hold of his hand and said,

"Hon, why does it seem like bad things like this always happen around the holidays?"

His response was so simple, so perfect, and so what I needed to hear at the time,

"They don't always happen around the holidays. They happen all the time."

My inward focus caused me to miss the fact that stuff like this happens everyday to all people, everywhere. The Lord isn't selective on who he chooses to pour rain on.

"..for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust." Matthew 4:45b

And He's certainly not selective on who, how, or when He allows trials to come. He is a sovereign, all knowing, and just God. He knows when the ground of my heart is dry or lacking root and depth in Him.

And so...He brings the rain.

There's a song that I love, and therefore listen to over and over, especially when I'm going through trials. It's called, In You. It's by Shane and Shane and is off their Pages CD. The first verse of the song says this,

"I sing for joy in my remorse
A well within prosperity's curse
That drowns the mighty oak of pride
But feeds the root of God inside

So, I'm not necessarily eager for the flood. But rain is good.

Resting in His arms

Mary

"It is always in the midst, in the epicenter, of your troubles that you find serenity."

Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Wartime Writings 1939-1944

Christmas Reflection...

2007-12-27T15:09:00.000-08:00

We had a tremendously amazing Christmas. It seems like this was the first Christmas in a long time that we all were able to actually stay home, and not go anywhere. There was nothing major planned. No leaving town. No opening presents on Christmas Eve in order to bolt out of town on Christmas Day. No youth winter camp to prep for the day after Christmas. Don't get me wrong. All those things are fine and dandy. It's just that I love being home for Christmas. It's got to be my favorite time of the year. I love everything about it. From the time of my birthday on December 8th until Christmas day. What can I say? I decorate, I bake, I shop, and listen to Bing Crosby Christmas music. Chris and I cooked a delicious Prime Rib dinner for Christmas Eve. We slept in on Christmas morning and took our time opening presents while enjoying baked French Toast. Our good friends, the Eazells, came over for dinner. Then even more good friends came over for dessert. It couldn't have been more wonderful. Truly the Lord's blessings abound to us.

Even Chris' Appendix ordeal didn't dampen my Christmas spirit. By the way, Chris is doing very well and recovering nicely. When you get a chance you should check out his personal blog. He just started writing about a month ago. Just click the PC's personal blog link to the right.

That's all for now folks, and blessings until next time

Mary Blaustone...looking ahead to 2008!

Appendecto-whatee?

2007-12-16T13:42:00.000-08:00

O.K., now that things have settled down a bit I thought it would be a good idea to use this post to fill everyone in on what has transpired in our lives over the last week.

It all started last Saturday afternoon when my husband, Chris, developed a little tummy ache in the middle of his stomach. He started complaining that he just wasn't feeling well and thought that maybe he ate some bad food. I agreed with him, but have to say I kinda just blew it off as typical stomach pain or flu. By Saturday night the pain had increased. Of course I verbalized a bunch of "motherly" questions and statements.

"Do you want to throw up? Where's the pain? Are you having any diarreah? Maybe you're just really constipated."

He took some Tylenol and went to bed, thinking all would be well after a good night sleep.

When we woke up the next morning, I remember thinking to myself that he would probably be feeling much better. On the contrary. The pain had moved to his lower right side and he was now running a slight fever. Needless to say, it would take standing at deaths door to get Chris to miss a church service. So, off we went to church. Thankfully we had a guest speaker that morning. Chris did lead worship though.

During the service Chris sat next to me. This normally would be a treat for me since usually he's standing at the pulpit. But this time I ended up worrying about and focusing on my husband the entire time. He was pale, and every few minutes his face would wince and he would shift his weight and grab hold of his right side. I would look at him and say, "Are you OK?"...trying not to draw too much attention. He'd just look forward and nod his head that he was fine. I had no idea what was ahead.

Well, the service ended, so as soon as Chris could get a free moment he went on home. I ended up going out to lunch with our missionary friends who were visiting, and then went home as well. When I got there, Chris was curled up on the couch covered in a blanket. He was running a low fever, still in pain...and can I just say that he looked pretty bad. I asked him if he wanted to go to a doctor. Of course he said no. Our plans for that day after church were to go out and get the Christmas tree and decorate the house. Plus, it was the day after my birthday and the family had wanted to celebrate with dinner that night. It ended up that the boys and I went out and bought the tree. We got it set up in the living room, and that night, started decorating. Just a little added note. We had wanted to take a funny family Christmas picture, so Natalie had bought us all some really tacky Christmas sweaters. Natalie and Nathan put theirs on, and so did Chris. Even though he was feeling so sick, he still tried the best he could to be a part of our family festivities.

The night wore on with no improvement in my husbands condition. I made him promise me that if he still felt bad in the morning he would go to the doctor. Ya see, one thing I haven't mentioned yet was that Chris and I had plans to have a get-a-way together. We had plane reservations to fly out to Arizona early Tuesday morning to go visit his parents. After a couple days we would drive back home (his mom and dad were giving us their old car). Both of us were so looking forward to this. But I kept thinking to myself that there was no way I would get on a plane with my husband sick like this.

Once again, Chris awoke feeling pretty much the same. His fever was down a bit though. We made a doctors appointment for first thing that morning. He talked to the doctor on the phone, describing his symptoms to him the best that he could. Then the doctor said it.

"What you're describing to me sounds like Appendicitis."

So, we went to the appointment. Of course he sent us to the emergency room. After sitting in the waiting room for about an hour and a half, they got Chris in a bed and ran some tests. Whenever they would do the typical "Appendix" test where they push and release on the right side, Chris would wince and say ouch. They were baffled when the blood tests showed his white count only a little elevated. Though the emergency room doc didn't think it was an Appendicitis, he decided to order a CAT scan just to be sure.

The results of the scan came in around 6:00 P.M.. It was a definite Appendicitis. It needed to come out right away. Well, right away meant 9:00 P.M.

So, after one and a half days of pain and 10 hours in an emergency room...Chris' Appendix was removed. After the surgery the surgeon informed me that everything went very well. The only problem was that the Appendix was open a bit at the top and some infection was coming out. Not to worry though, he said. Chris was in good health and would probably be fine in about 2 days.

It ended up that Chris needed 4 days in the hospital. He ran a high fever off and on due to that infection. Not to mention that some other normal body functions shut down a bit. That kind of stuff needs to be running properly before you get sent home from the hospital. It was a little scary for me though. The surgeon let us know that his Appendix were, as he put it, "Very sick". Had we waited another day, they would have burst, and things would have been much worse. I praise God we took the steps we did, when we did.

Can I just tell you something about my husband. For as long as I've known this guy, there is nothing that will stop him from ministering to others. And I mean nothing. The entire time he was in the hospital he was ministering. He would go on his little walks around the third floor ward (which just so happened to be the cancer ward), dressed in his scrub pants and open back hospital gown, and poke his head in the patients rooms to say hello. He would ask there names and why they were there. He would lay hands on them and pray, just like a pastoral hospital visit. He even had nurses share their problems with him. He was constantly cracking jokes with the staff. They absolutely loved him. This is simply the man I married. I can't tell you how thankful I am for him. I love him so much.

Chris is continuing to recover here at home. We are so thankful for everyones love and prayers. It's very good to be surrounded by the body of Christ during times like these.

Here's a picture of the Sunday night tree decorating. That's an oversized stocking on Nates head. Brace yourself. Chris doesn't look so good. It's pretty funny though to see him in the crazy Christmas sweatshirt. Good times.

Who Stole Baby Jesus?

2007-12-07T15:18:00.000-08:00

This story just in. Baby Jesus was stolen right out of the manger. It happened right in front of Joseph and Mary, and the entire city of Healdsburg for that matter.

This is a true story folks. In fact, it happened at the church right across the street from our little chapel in Healdsburg. You can read all about it in the Press Democrat.

Here's the skinny. The doll that was being used for Baby Jesus in the manger was removed. In it's place was left...now are you ready for this? In it's place was a yellow, stuffed duck with a red nose and blinking light. There was also a second "devil duck" painted black with horns.

Why on earth would anyone want to steal Baby Jesus out of the manger, and replace Him with two demonic ducks? Yes, I know. This was probably just another hoodlum prank. No big deal, right? But still, the thought of "stealing Jesus" really got me thinking.

A couple days before I read this story I experienced another incident.

I needed to run to Walmart to pick up a few things. Now, whenever I go to Walmart,I try to psych myself out a bit, knowing that it will probably be a crazy experience. Crowded parking lot. Wobbly wheeled cart that sticks and squeals. Screaming kids and angry moms. Long lines, and ultimately buying so much more than what I came in for.

On this particular outing, I pulled into the parking lot and much to my surprise, found a place to park rather quickly. I jump out of my car, running over my list in my mind and thinking to myself, "The faster I get in, the faster I get out."

As I'm approaching the entrance I notice a man, probably in his late 30's, leaning against the brick wall, smoking a cigarette. Not an uncommon sight in front of any American Walmart. Just then, a young mom walks past him. Her cart is laden with Christmas gifts...A rather large box slid in on the lower part of the cart. A bicycle hanging on the front. Odds and ends in the basket, and a crying toddler in the child seat. Just as she passed the "smoking man", the large box slides forward and crashes to the ground with a thud. The toddler cries even louder and the mom, speaking loud enough for anyone standing close by to hear says,(expletives removed)

"Why does this have to be so stinkin hard?!?"

Now, here's the crazy part. People just keep walking by. No one stops to help her. And the smoking man? Well, he just stands there watching her, puffing away, with a look on his face that says, "She's crazy".

I too walk on by, completely angered by what I've just seen. I'm thinking, "Chivalry really is dead!"

That man could have dropped the cig, run over to the poor mom, and at least picked up the box for her. Maybe even said a few kind words as well like, "Are you alright, mam? Here, let me help you...or, Merry Christmas"

But, nothing.

I hurried past the Salvation Army bell ringer, and in through the front entrance. I got in fast, and out even faster.

Both these incidences troubled me considerably. I mean, what is going on here? Where is Jesus? Stolen out of the manger, devil ducks in His place. He certainly wasn't at Walmart that day. I even heard that the phrase "Merry Christmas" isn't allowed to be used in some stores by employees anymore. Who wants to go Christmas shopping with this kind of stuff going on? Isn't it just much easier to stay home? We can shop online in the comfort of a chair. No long lines, no screaming, no...

Then it hit me. I mean the conviction of the Holy Spirit that is. Loud and clear it came to me, as though the Lord were saying,

"What are you doing? I wasn't really stolen out of the manger. That was a doll. I'm real, and still very much alive. I am ever powerful, and ever present, and living inside of you, Mary. So take Me with you wherever you go. Even to Walmart."

Oh dear. It's true. Even I walked right by that helpless mom. I didn't run to go help her, or to say, "Are you alright, mam?" I just rushed on by, glaring at the smoking man. No smiles or Merry Christmas's from me.

Don't you just love how the Lord is so faithful to take everyday experiences and use them to mold us into His image?

I have to say that since then, I have done much better with my shopping outings. I think I'm more aware of my surroundings, especially the people. I look at faces and try to catch eyes. I smile and try to allow Jesus to shine through. I want to wish everyone a great big Merry Christmas, as though to leave a lingering fragrance of Who this season is truly about.

I actually want to go shopping now.

Fearfully And Wonderfully Made

2007-11-28T14:15:00.000-08:00

For so many people, the holidays can be such an emotional and trying time. Some have lost loved ones. Others have been hurt on some level by family or friends, making it difficult to participate in the normal holiday fanfare. For some, the thought of approaching Thanksgiving and Christmas brings on a gamut of stress and anxiety. What with all the preparation and shopping, planning and finances...it's simply overwhelming. Even if you haven't dealt with a loss or some kind of hurt, for some...it's just an emotional time.

My husband Chris has a great saying. "Feelings aren't good or bad...they just are." Why is it then, that our tendency as humans is to feel bad for feeling? Maybe you've heard someone say, "Is it wrong that I feel this way?" I hear people say that quite often. I've even heard myself saying it on occasion. Is it wrong that I feel this way? How on earth do you answer that question? How about this. "No, it's not wrong that you feel that way...it's just bad."

O.K., maybe that's not the best response. But that fact remains. We feel. Feelings just are.

Take for instance sadness. Some of us feel sadness more than others. You may not even need a reason to be sad, you just are.

How about depression. How many of us have struggled with it? In all honesty most of us have. It pulls you down and holds your heart captive. For some, that captivity is so familiar, it's easier to stay there than to try to escape it.

And then the feeling of being overwhelmed. The pressures of life. Your job, family, friends. Financial pressures abound for so many of us these days. I hate to break the news, but I just don't foresee money problems getting any better in these last days. It all can overwhelm.

Not to mention frustration, anger and regret. I'm sure I'm not remembering every single emotion a person can feel. Just thinking about it all can make me sad, depressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, and regretful.

Now hold on. There is a light at the end of this post. There is One who is well aware of every emotion we could ever emote, and every feeling we could ever feel.

In Psalm 139:14, David proclaims,

"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well."

Fearfully and wonderfully made. Those words so speak of God's love and control. Yet I can't begin to comprehend the depths He went to, in order to form my very being. I mean sometimes I have feelings and emotions that I can't even put a name or face to. But, HE CAN. The One who formed me...fearfully and wonderfully made me.

Verses 15-16 of Psalm 139 go on to say,

"My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them."

Oh ya, and verses 17-18,

"How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You."

For goodness sake, just read the entire Psalm. Every bit of it. Over and over again.

The truth of the matter is, we are emotional beings. We feel. Sometimes we feel too much. Some of us feel more than others. Fearfully and wonderfully, we are who God made us to be. We live in a fallen world that doesn't always play fair...especially with our emotions.

During those times when feelings and emotions run thick, let the Word of God be the sword that cuts through it all, and enables you to put a name and face to what you're feeling. As we read and seek Him in His word, emotions are expressed and heard loud and clear. As a matter of fact...all of them. I need to know that I can find the Lord in everything I feel and experience.

Psalm 61:1-3; Psalm 73:24-26; Ephesians 6:10-18;
2Corinthians 10:4-5; James 1:2-4

...and so much more

"God's Word has sustained me. There have been times when I have only been capable of reading a few verses at a time, yet the supernatural, life-giving power of the Word of God has given me strength to go on, even if only one day at a time."

-Anne Graham Lotz

Just as a side note. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Natalie's boyfriend's family came to stay with us for a couple days, along with our sweet friend, Rachel, from Napa. Many others from church came to eat with us on Thursday. What a blessing to have our home filled with the family of God. As for my "Green Bean Junk". For all of you who have been asking what that is, I'll give up the secret. It's the green bean casserole recipe found on the fried onion can. There, now you all know.

Also, I did end up getting pretty sick the day after Thanksgiving. Apparently, though she doesn't want to admit it, Natalie brought back a bug from China.

Don't feel bad, sweetie...you got to go to China!

Give Thanks

2007-11-20T15:06:00.000-08:00

It's almost here. My all time favorite eating day of the whole year...Thanksgiving. Our home may even look like that picture over there. Except I won't be cooking the turkey this year, and I'm certainly not that old. Oh ya, and Chris doesn't have that much hair on top. But, none the less, our home will be filled with fellowship as we once again open it to anyone who doesn't have family or a place to go. What a blessing it is. We get to eat the best of the best of every ones favorite family recipes. I tell ya, the food is simply amazing, and there's always enough for everyone to take home leftovers. I, of course, will prepare my specialty.....Green Bean Junk! Oh ya, it's the best.

May we all remember the Father's many blessings, and especially all He's given us in Jesus.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

"Oh, give thanks to the LORD! Call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples! Sing to Him, sing psalms to Him; Talk of all His wondrous works! Glory in His holy Name; Let the hearts of those rejoice who seek the Lord! Seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face evermore!"
Psalm 105:1-4

At Peace in Worship

2007-11-16T10:25:00.000-08:00

I just absolutely love this picture. And, I absolutely love digital cameras that help me to take great pictures when I have no idea what I'm doing. I took this picture up on the hill where our church meets. Our church is blessed to be able to rent a facility that sits a top a hill, overlooking a vineyard valley and the Russian River below. As you walk from the church building, across a grassy, tree lined green belt, you then come to this overlook...and this is what you'll see. Except, it's always changing depending on what season we're in. In the Summer, the vineyards are deep green, and the river is low and slow. When it's very hot, and believe me it gets very hot up there in the summer, you can hike down the trails after church and float down the river. In the winter, the vines are bare with no leaves, but the hills all around are deep green. Sort of what I would imagine Ireland to look like. The river, on the other hand, is swollen and high from the rains. It moves swiftly, taking with it tree branches and debris, and even people if they're not careful. And the picture you see above is Fall. Probably my favorite season in these parts. All this to say that I went up there one afternoon, about two weeks ago, to try to get some shots of the beautiful fall colors before they were all gone.

All these thoughts and reflections of that day came about as I was cleaning a bookshelf in my bedroom. These shelves are just packed full of books, and I'm embarrassed to say, had not been dusted in weeks. As I was pulling all these books from the shelf; commentaries, dictionaries, study guides, fiction, biographies...I came across a tiny book called, "Gems From Tozer: Selections from the writings of A.W. Tozer" It's a conglomeration of lines, paragraphs, and sayings from several of Tozers books. The second chapter of the book is called, "The Missing Jewel Of Worship". The first line of this chapter hooked me, right in the heart. It said, "We are called to an everlasting preoccupation with God." Everlasting? You mean boundless, abiding, ceaseless, endless, imperishable, continuous, timeless, uninterrupted, indestructible, permanent, undying, and eternal? That kind of everlasting? (No, I'm not that smart...I used a Thesaurus) I stood up on that hill, overlooking that beautiful, golden valley. The air was warm, the wind gently moved the leaves in the trees. I could hear the soft babble of the river down below. I tell ya, all I wanted to do was lay down in the grass under those trees and worship my God. But I couldn't. I was in a hurry. I had somewhere else to be and only had a few minutes to take my pictures. So, snap, snap, snap, and back in the car I went to drive back down the hill. It wasn't until I uploaded, and saw those beautiful pictures, and then decided to clean a bookshelf, that the Lord spoke to me about Himself. He's so good to take the simple things in our lives, like pictures and cleaning, to speak into our hearts a deeper truth. Oh how I want to be an endless, timeless, uninterrupted (and all those other words), worshipper of God. Does this mean I walk around in a dreamlike state...unfocused, uninvolved, never really a part of this life? You've heard the saying, "Too heavenly minded for any earthly good". By the way, I detest that saying. How could anyone ever be too heavenly minded? If anything, we can very easily be too earthly minded for any heavenly good. You see, I believe that everything we do here in this life is to be worship to our God. Now, you can define what "everything" means to you. For me it means EVERYTHING. That may sound nebulous. But Tozer also says, "Worship means 'to feel in the heart.'" In other words, as I go through the motions and tasks of my day, it means nothing without my Lord. All I have in this life has been given by Him. He has given Himself so freely to me. I, with heartfelt worship, will give all back to Him. Getting up in the morning and making breakfast can be worship to Him. Going to work or school can be worship. Raising our kids, taking care of elderly parents, doing the dishes, cleaning a bathroom, sitting in church on Sunday, or standing on a hill to breathe in the beauty surrounding you...all can be worship to the King.

"All the earth shall worship You and sing praises to You. They shall sing praises to Your Name." Selah

Psalm 66:4

Gems from Tozer

Vacation?...I think not

2007-11-12T18:05:00.001-08:00

I had the weirdest dream last night. Now, mind you, I'm not a big dream analyzer. Usually, if I have a strange dream, that say involves me being back in High School, late for class, trying to get my locker un-jammed. I then look down and realize I forgot to put my pants on...well, I'll just chalk it up to what I ate right before I went to bed and not give it a second thought. But this one was, lets just say, deserving of a second thought.

It went a little something like this. My husband and I, our daughter, and our two sons, decided to have a family get-a-way at Count Dracula's castle. Now, you might wonder where Dracula's castle would be located in my dream. Transylvania? Or maybe on a mountain cliff, overlooking a turbulent sea? No, the castle was located right in the middle of town, of course. I kinda had the feeling we didn't have to travel very far to get there. In other words, it felt close to home. The outside of the castle seemed ominous and castle-like enough. But the inside sort of looked like this old retreat center I've been to for women's retreats. Lots of rooms, dark panelled walls, creaky stair cases. My dream even had a musty smell to it. Anyway, there we were, vacationing at the Counts castle. Its so interesting though, because I had no fear of being there. It was more of a feeling like, "Of course we're here. Where else would we be?"

There are a few factors that I do need to point out about our stay. We never saw anyone else. We were the only ones visiting the castle. We never saw Count Dracula, but we knew he was there. And lastly, we couldn't leave the castle. This didn't bother me though, because hey...It was just a dream. Until the part of the dream where my husband informed me, in a matter of fact sort of way, that Dracula intended on making me his bride. That's right...his bride. You know what I mean by "matter of fact", don't you? It was like he yawned and said, "Oh, by the way, you're marrying Dracula tomorrow." Well, the whole feel of the dream changed at that point. It was as though I woke up to the reality of the evil state I was vacationing in. I think I screamed something like, "We need to get the kids and get out of here!" But, of course it's a dream, and we couldn't leave right then. We were forced to wait until morning. When it did come (in the dream that is), I jumped out of bed and frantically began to pack our things, which were everywhere as though we had been living there for years. I then realized I needed to wake my boys and inform them of the desperate situation I was in. We needed to escape, and now...no time to waste. I opened the door to the room where they were sleeping. It too was a mess with piles of clothes everywhere. I told them to get up. But, once again, it's a dream, so they sort of just yawned, and moaned, and rolled over. They do that when I'm trying to wake them for school in the morning. I'm not sure where my daughter was. I couldn't seem to find her. I think that may be because she's in China right now. So, I made my way back to my own castle room to finish packing so we could high tail it outa there. When I got back, Chris was up and about. I think he was getting ready to take a shower or something. I heard a noise coming from the window. I walked over and looked out to see what the commotion was. The castle courtyard down below was filled with towns people. All of them were cheering and waving flags. Some of them were riding on horse back. For what were they cheering, you may ask? They were celebrating the upcoming nuptials of Count Dracula and his new bride, of course. That was enough for me. There was no way I was gonna stick around to see the outcome of this dream. So, I woke myself up.

Now, like I said in the beginning, I am not a big dream analyzer. But can I just tell ya (my friend Mimi says that all the time)...Can I just tell ya I think there's a great lesson in the crazy dream. My husband taught on spiritual warfare this Sunday morning, Ephesians 6, and I believe it may apply. Last Sunday he talked about identifying our enemy. Sometimes we can't even see who or what our enemy is. We need to be so in tuned to the Spirit of God, so in His word, hiding it in our hearts, always steadfast in prayer, sitting at His feet, listening for His voice. Just as a soldier stands ready to recognize the appearance and tactics of his enemy, I too need to be ready to recognize the schemes and wiles of my enemy...Satan. It's not always easy though. Hey, I felt pretty comfortable in Dracula's castle, until I found out I had to marry the guy. I think I want to see it coming way before that. Praise Jesus! We have everything we need to stand in Him.

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breast plate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints."

Ephesians 6:12-18

OK, In closing I just want to clear something up. My husband is the most wonderful, caring, valiant man I've ever known. He would never, ever have stood for me marrying Count Dracula. In real life he would have rescued me and our kids from that castle and we would have rode off into the sunset on those horses I saw down in the courtyard.

Oh ya, I also in no way endorse or believe in Count Dracula.

Man, this was a weird post.

One Of A Kind Girl

2007-11-09T17:12:00.000-08:00

My 19 year old daughter, Natalie, left for China today. No specific agenda. She's just always loved Asian culture. It's been a dream of hers to one day visit China or Japan. When the opportunity presented itself in the form of a very affordable tour, she of course jumped at it. I did nothing. She made the down payment to reserve her spot. Then she paid off the entire balance ($1,500 for an all inclusive tour of China....unbelievable). She got her passport in order, made doctors appointments, updated her vaccines, went to work and school, packed her bags last night, and left this morning at 6:00 A.M.. Now, you must understand something. This is NOT unusual behavior for my Natalie. She has always been ambitious and independent. She's a one of a kind, that girl. I truly don't know anyone who compares to my daughter. Oh no...here it comes. I'm gonna get melancholy and reminiscent. I think I'm allowed that though. I mean goodness, she just left this morning to travel to the other side of the earth without her momma.

I was very young when Natalie was born...21 to be exact. Chris and I married young. I laugh when I look at our wedding pictures. I look like a child bride in a big, puffy sleeved wedding dress. We didn't plan on having kids right away. But, it just so happened that we got the "itch" as we saw some of our other, newly married friends starting their families. So, I got pregnant. No problem there. Aside from the usual morning sickness and fatigue that comes with pregnancy, everything seemed move along normally. I will tell you though, I couldn't wait to have this baby. I had always wanted to be a momma, just like my momma was a momma. We of course also wanted to do everything right. It would be natural child birth all the way. Like everyone else at that time, we took Lamaze classes. I remember one night in particular the class was called something like "Here's what you don't want to happen to you on your delivery day". We discussed being prepared. Have a bag packed and waiting by the front door. Make sure the car is always full of gas. Pack a special "labor & delivery" bag complete with breath mints, chewing gum, playing cards (in case you get bored), something to use as your focal point, and the like. All of it was good information on being prepared. Then came the topic of being prepared to push properly when the time comes. Don't push with your face or you'll bust it all up. Be sure to curve your body into a "C" and use your "K" muscles to push. The instructor made it very clear that if we didn't follow these very specific instructions, the baby would not come out the birth canal properly, and someone would have to apply "Fundal pressure" to your abdomen to help push the baby out. Or worse,and...oh no, not this. The dreaded vacuum sucker thingy. Nobody wants that to happen. She even had one of those things with her so we could all see and handle it. It had a little plastic cup at one end that fit on the baby's head. It was connected to a tube with a hand pump on the other end. No way! I was not going to let that happen to my baby. Chris and I determined together to practice, practice, practice. It would be a text book, perfect delivery.

The baby was due to arrive May 3, 1988. But, as the Lord would have it, on April 10th at about 8:00 P.M., just as I had sat on the couch to have a snack and watch T.V., my water broke. I actually remember the way it felt. It was as though a water balloon popped inside me. I yelled to Chris that my water broke and we needed to get to the hospital. Of course he didn't believe me. "It's a month early.", he laughed. "I know it's a month early. Now get my bags and lets get in the car.", I yelled. Oh no!, wait a minute. I had no bags packed yet. It was still early. I thought I had plenty of time. So, if I'm remembering correctly, we literally grabbed NOTHING and headed for the car. As soon as I sat in the front seat and buckled my seat belt, the contractions began. I thought to myself, "Wow, that was fast". Chris got in the drivers seat and started the car. "Oh no!" he said. "We're out of gas." O.K., strike two on the "Here's what you don't want to happen to you on your delivery day" list. Chris, strangely enough, was very calm about this. My contractions came on even stronger as he drove to the nearest gas station. He pulled on in next to the pump and opened the door to get out. I turned to him and said, "Don't leave me". He very gently reminded me that if he didn't get out to pump the gas, I would be having a baby in the front seat of our red Hyundai. The contractions were coming even harder now, and I remember thinking, "There's no way this is happening to me. Not like this." Yet, at the same time, I was so excited that in a short time, life would no longer just be the two of us...we would be three.

We made it to the hospital and checked into a room. By the time they got me in the bed I was at 5 1/2 centimeters. 30 minutes later I was at 7. Things were moving a little too fast. An alarm sounded on the machine that monitors the baby's heart rate. It had dropped considerably low. "What does that mean?" I asked. The doctor informed us that the baby had dropped too quickly into the birth canal and that the cord was probably wrapped around the neck. He quickly made a decision to tip the bed way back at an angle in hopes that the baby would move back up into the canal, thereby loosening the grip of the cord. The plan seemed to work, and her heart rate went back up to a normal pace. Never the less, nothing was going to stop this baby from making her way into this world just as fast as she could. Remember, I told you she was a one of a kind girl? So, my contractions came on harder than ever, and she continued on down. The alarm sounded again, signaling another drop in her heart rate. I screamed, "I need to push!" It wasn't quite time to push yet, but I pushed anyway. There was just one problem. The baby stopped moving down, and her heart rate was still dropping. The next thing I knew, my husband was behind me bending my body into a "C" shape. The doctor had reached up inside me and cut the cord so it would not continue to choke the baby. This meant they needed to get her out fast. A nurse then came and pressed as hard as she could on my abdomen...Fundal Pressure. When all that didn't work fast enough, the doctor used the vacuum and sucked her out by her head. I remember the absolute feeling of relief as she was pulled out of me. I waited, and I listened...nothing. No crying. I sat myself up the best I could to try to get a better look. Chris was standing by my bed. "It's a girl." the doctor said. But, still no cries. Then I saw her. I can still see her so clearly in my mind. She was so tiny. She wasn't pink though. She was blue from the lack of oxygen. She was limp. Yet, I remember thinking to myself, "She's so beautiful." The doctor flipped her upside down and held her by the ankles. He then began to smack the bottoms of her feet with his hand. I could hear his gentle voice, "Come on, honey...you can do it. Give us a cry." In what seemed to me to be an eternity, so many thoughts went through my head. "Wow, that baby was inside of me. Now she's out...over there. Is she going to cry? Are You taking her from us, Lord? I need her here with me. Please let her stay here with us. Cry, cry...please cry." It was surreal. Kind of like a dream. And then, we heard it. A high pitched squeal. And then a bunch of little coughs, and more squeals. She was breathing. That's all that mattered. She weighed in at a teeny, tiny 5lbs 2oz. I think her total APGAR score was something like a 4. But I didn't care. She was a 10 in my book. I was only allowed to hold her for a minute though. She was taken from me and placed in the Neonatal nursery. Her daddy went with her. I was left alone in the delivery room with the doctor as he finished "tidying" things up. Oh, how I wanted my baby. She was all I could think about, all I longed for at that moment. When all was finished with me, I was wheeled on a gurney to my new room. On our way we passed the Neonatal nursery. The nurse stopped right in front and told me they would bring the baby out for me to see. I looked up to see Chris carrying a little wrapped bundle out to me. It was my Natalie. He laid her on my chest. She was not crying, but I could tell that she had been. She actually had little tears in her eyes...or maybe it was the eye drops. They had put an I.V. in her forehead to give her necessary fluids. Her hands and arms were just too tiny for the needle. She had a little beanie cap on her head. I remember just staring at her sweet face. She had a little button nose. This was so unusual with my "big nose" Italian genes. But I'll never forget her little lips. They looked just like pink painted rose buds. So perfect was she. It didn't matter that her head was shaped like a cone from the vacuum, or that she had a needle in her forehead. We came refer to that needle as her little hat. She was absolutely perfect. And for just a few minutes, I lay there in the hallway and held my baby girl. I patted gently and whispered in her ear, "Shhhhh, Natalie...your mamma's here."

I stayed a full 3 days in the hospital to be close to my baby. We did end up having to go home without her though. She had some difficulties due to her low birth weight. When we did finally get to take her home on the 5th day, she only weighed 4lbs. 12oz.. She fit perfectly in the palm of Chris' hand. With the help of mamma's milk, she put on the pounds. Aside from some asthma problems, she continued to grow into a strong, very smart little girl. Even as a very small child, Natalie had a beautiful perspective on life and her surroundings. Now, this post is getting way too long, so I'll end with this. When Natalie was 4 years old, she was sitting with her dad and I in our small apartment living room looking at the fish in our salt water fish tank. "Daddy?", she said. "God is big, isn't He?" "Yes, sweetie, God is big", Chris answered. She went on, "Is He bigger than our house, daddy?" "Yes, Nat. He's bigger than our house." Both Chris and I wondered with anticipation what would come out of her next. "God's bigger than our house...but He lives in my heart."

I tell ya, she's one of a kind.

Behold, Children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward."

Psalm 127:3

Far Out!

2007-11-07T14:55:00.000-08:00

CC Healdsburg had our anual Harvest Festival this Halloween. I just had to put up some pics. Chris and I were hippies...just in case you couldn't figure that one out. Chris looks a little more like hippie Farmer John, or maybe we should just call him Rasta Farmer. Anyway, we had a great time. Lots of kids came to jump in the jump house and pet the animals in the petting zoo. They smashed pumpkins at the pumpkin smash, and played all the homemade kiddie games inside. I'm always amazed at how little kids in cute costumes could care less if your Ring Toss rings are made of duct tape, or that they're hammering nails into a 2X4. Hey, it's a free carnival!

Seasons Of Change

2007-11-06T13:19:00.000-08:00

"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:" Ecclesiastes 3:1

And so begins the season of blogging. I can add it to the abundance of seasons my life has seen over the years.

You've probably heard it said many times. You know, you're talking to a friend, they share their heart and end by saying, "It's just a season I'm going through. " Or, "That was another season in my life." It's such a common saying, yet so profound in it's ability to help us classify the purpose and times of our lives. Ya see...I need that. Because when I look back at the myriad of changes in my life, especially since Christ saved me, it's mind boggling, and sometimes very confusing. Then I read Ecclesiastes 3:1..."To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven." As I go on to read the next 7 verses, each season written there, no matter how base or common they may seem to me, can come alive with purpose. I can take each one and apply them somewhere in my life. But this time, due to my current season, I got myself caught up on verse 5..."A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones...". Cast away stones? Gather stones? What could possibly be "stones" in my life? So, of course, I went to my very own bible answer man, my husband Chris. I said, "Honey, what do you think the stones in Ecclesiastes 3:5 are referring to?". His response was so simple. "Well Mary, back then they would have cleared the stones out of a field in order to prep it for planting. Or, they would have collected stones to build a house or a wall...that sort of thing." DING! Hold the phone?!! That's it! Why else would I have stumbled on the stones in verse 5? (No pun intended) This is the season I'm in right now. I'm feeling as though the land of my heart, my mind, and my very life, is being cleared...prepped in a sense for what's ahead. Now, this isn't easy in any way, shape, or form. In fact it's been rather painful. The changes that have been coming upon myself, and infiltrating the life of my family seem to be so many, and very quick in their succession. My reaction to these changes can tend to be emotional, or shall I say over reactive. But, if I can put this time into a "season", well then...seasons change, right? Even though God's job of removing stones from my life may seem labor intensive and down right tiring at times, it's such a good and perfect work. You see, as He's doing that I can be gathering stones to build upon...His grace, mercy, peace, patience, and His never ending love. Don't you think those can work as stones to gather? I don't know...works for me. I like that. God is good.

Oh wait, the verse goes on to say, "A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing." The "refrain from embracing" actually means to be far from it. Now, I believe this is referring to many different embraces, such as parents embracing their children, one brother embracing another, or friends embracing. But why would we ever stop embracing? Can't we just love one another? Can't we all just get along? All ya need is love, right? Yet it is true, that there are some seasons that are so heartbreaking, so tearing between people, that the embracing needs to stop. Well, maybe not stop....it's just far from us. Man! I really don't like that one. It causes me to realize something. If I'm living for myself...giving into my flesh and my pride. I'm not spending time with the Lord like I should, and He's not the priority in my life, of course I'm going to feel far from Him. It's not that He's left me, it's that His embrace is far from me. Well, I think that would be for my own good. When we stop our wanderings and turn back to Him, guess what? He's standing there, arms open wide...big hug.

So, as I said in the beginning, this is a season of blogging. I love to write, or you may call it babbling if you like. My prayer is that this blog would be a blessing to our Calvary Chapel Healdsburg women's ministry, and anyone else who feels so inclined to read.

Blessings to you all in the Name of our Lord Jesus