Progressive Purls

"I'm ambivalent."

2010-01-02T07:16:00.000-08:00

A phrase my parents taught me when I was barely speaking, I guess to amuse their friends. It must have been funny, though!

But I am a bit.

The last ten years were the first ten years of motherhood, which has been just the most amazing experience of my life. My children are thriving, intelligent, healthy, a joy to my life and cause of much consternation (of course).

The last ten years have been something of a political and social awakening, however, and not for good reasons. The Bush Years, starting with the Supreme Court appointment of the President, through the worst terrorist attack on American soil, through the heartless reaction to Hurricane Katrina, straight on through the things we are still learning about torture and politicization and pointless war. I became a high-information voter, a blogger, a writer of news (with a left-leaning bias, admittedly), and a videographer by necessity to stop my head from exploding.

My relationships have had their ups and downs but seem to be going in a good direction. I have certainly clarified what I think my purpose is here in the world and in my community. And I have come to many conclusions about how I would like my life to be going forward.

So, although I am not making any resolutions to break and be disappointed in myself (honestly, haven't we done enough of that?), I do have hopes for the Tens or the Tweens or whatever they are:

I hope my children turn out well-adjusted and find something that they are passionate about to do.
I hope everyone around me knows how much I love them.
I hope my marriage grows in love and friendship
I hope that the people in power in our country find a way to be truly compassionate, to work for the common good, to remember "the general welfare" is in our founding documents, to shine some light in the dark places that will shame us, but sterilize us as well.

And I hope for you, my dear readers, that your Tweens are healthy, happy, joyous, fulfilling, fun, challenging and whatever you want them to be!

May peace prevail upon the earth.

The family seems to have taken off...

2009-12-22T14:59:00.001-08:00

On their second attempt. Although the first attempt was aborted before anyone even got up in the morning so it wasn't too bad. Here's hoping they don't end up stuck anywhere along the way. They did give up an extra stop when we changed, too, so that's good.

The wind is incredible here today!

This is just a quick post to say...well...sometimes one can be too helpful? Maybe?

I have a fabulous job which I love. I have had this job since April. I should have known better than to screw around with it. But it wasn't my idea and I was just trying to help, really. But having the s**t hit the fan today, instigated by me somewhat looking for better and clearer communications, was probably a good thing. My thoughts about it are clearer, I feel less guilty, I've been heard and that's important.

Working in the non-profit sector, one is often asked to do things without compensation or to do more than one would in another situation. I'm sure this happens in the for-profit world as well, but there are rules about overtime and such everywhere that come into play. But in the for-profit sector, there is no guilt about working overtime, unless you're taking a lot of time away from your family. In the non-profit sector, especially if the institution is something that you believe passionately in and really want to help to grow and thrive, the boundaries are less easy to set.

However, boundaries are necessary, aren't they? Everywhere. Starting with no, I need to go home and study now; proceeding to no, I need to have a little joy in my life while I'm pregnant and exhausted (that was when I started to take every other Friday off); and then, no, I can't nurse you every 20 minutes all night long forever. Followed by, no, I can't volunteer for everything all the time, but I will do these specific things every week all year. Followed by, apparently, no, I can't work 35% more hours for no more money. Yes, I will work overtime and make it up later when we're not busy. Yes, I will be there when you need me, when I can, even if it's a lot and not convenient. And yes, I support your mission in every way possible. But I cannot make 35% more hours for no more money work out in any way that I don't come in angry every day.

And the thing is I come in happy every day. I come in early and happy! I love my job and it's perfect just the way it is. Overtime and high expectations and emotional investment and everything, I love it! I love my co-workers and bosses, I love my office! What I will not do is throw away all the happy for any amount of money. So, sorry, guys, I think I shall have to decline in the end. I hope you find another way to work it out, I really do, and I'm happy to help when I can. When I can. Not when my kids need me, not when I should be sleeping, not instead of volunteering at school or at scouts, not instead of making homemade chicken soup for dinner, not instead of knitting or spinning or reading or watching TV with my dear, dear husband. Not then, no, not then. But when I can, I will. And I guess now you know that when I can't, I won't.

Boundaries are good. Boundaries are necessary. Boundaries are hard.

Peace.

Lordy McLorderson, who has time to blog?

2009-12-18T07:03:00.001-08:00

Not me! Sorry!

Christmas knitting is done, though, and cookies.

Got a bit stressed this week with all of it AND working this many hours. Realized a bit late in the game that this is the first time I've had to do Christmas AND work this many hours, so duh. When I used to work an office job, I would start baking right after Thanksgiving and just get it all in the freezer little by little. I probably should have done that this year. Next time!

I do have a few pix of Christmas knitting, though, as none of my giftees read here AFAIK:

For my boss/singing partner/co-worker/friend:

For my son's 3rd Grade teacher (handspun):

For my daughter's 5th Grade teacher (handspun):

For my new Music Director's wife (they don't eat cookies):

You'll just have to believe I knit them, no time to take a picture till later this morning (when there's no time to blog. I will update sometime as I have to take a picture before the gifting (Sunday). Poor thing has shingles!

Will knit another Santa hat for DD's new American Girl (that she's getting for Christmas) but not till after they all leave me for a few days.

Today: Make salad for and attend 5th Grade Pasta party, take 2 girls to swimming birthday party for the afternoon, do laundry for trip and pack.

Tomorrow: Girl Scout meeting, rehearsal, concert and everyone ready to go at 5am Sunday. I'm sure it will work out. Now how to get all that done with out my head exploding!

May peace prevail upon the earth.

Oh, and Joy to the World!

Itchy. [UPDATED]

2009-12-05T18:02:00.000-08:00

Having spent weeks (including a few in denial about never having installed a zipper in a sweater, admittedly) knitting DS (8) a new zippered hoodie, he pronounced it "itchy" before even saying thanks. Who brought him up, wolves?

Ahem.

Peace.

UPDATE: After a couple of days, he pronounced this sweater his very favorite ever and has been wearing it ever since. Guess he just needed long sleeves under. All is well.

Friday Afternoon Bullet Post

2009-12-04T14:48:00.000-08:00

Knitting on a pair of socks just like the ones I made my Mom for her birthday. Guess it won't matter that I forgot (again) to take a picture before I put them in the mail!
How come she got all the bright yellow/green?
I am not allowed to cast on anything until I install the zipper in DS's sweater. It is going to rain all next week and he needs it. Stop avoiding!!
Still adding to the list of gloves to make, but am starting to let them fall away again. I think I have two pairs to go for sure, though. Bought some nice smooth yarn--no time to spin and knit both.
Finally following @SarahPalinUSA again on Twitter. Too funny to comment back!
Just finished first 2 oz of Selfish from Spunky Eclectic and plan to navajo ply. Will probably end up with sportweight yarn and knit 52-stitch socks with it, way fast!
Christmas present plans are coming together slowly, slowly. I do all my shopping in my mind first and then either buy online or go out all on one day. Now if only the American Girl website weren't sold out of everything she wants.

Off to pick up kids from school, drive DD to a focus group (she'll make some $) and come home to make dinner and cookie dough for Girl Scout meeting tomorrow.

Have a lovely weekend!

May peace prevail upon the earth.

Thanks, Veterans!

2009-11-11T16:25:00.000-08:00

For all you have done and still do for us!

And for the day off!

No time for pictures, but I managed to spin 4 oz. of natural BFL singles today for gloves for teachers--I will dye the yarn after plying. I want to make Susie's Reading Mitts this year and have already spun some variegated singles, but I really think that a nice smooth almost solid will be much better. I've never spun and then dyed before, but they both want blue, one light, one dark, so it shouldn't be hard to get a nice color.

In other knitting, I'm almost down to the bottom of the armholes on my Basic Chic Hoodie in bright green: Not a color for the faint of heart, but I look forward with great anticipation to throwing this on like a sweat jacket and making myself happy. Thanks, Mom!

Still haven't cast on any socks, though, what's up with that?

DS's sweater is ready for its zipper now, Mr. DeMille. I should have done that today but instead was lazy, lazy, lazy in anticipation of having to go into work tonight holiday or no.

Except for the spinning.

Hoping for time to ply and dye on Saturday!

May peace prevail upon the earth.

Saturday Bullet Point Post

2009-11-07T07:26:00.000-08:00

Joe Lieberman is all about Joe Lieberman, biggest narcissist EVAR. Never underestimate his ability to think about himself.
What is important about the HCR debate is how many people die EVERY DAY in the US due to lack of insurance or underinsurance: 120. 120 people every day in the United States. Anyone who doesn't understand this number is unacceptable is a dick. Full stop.
The Fort Hood shootings are a tragic reaction to terrible fear. That guy did not want to be deployed, for whatever reason, and he totally freaked out. It is awful. It is not terrorism or bad Muslims. It is one freaked out guy. Sad, yes. Incredibly sad for the families of the victims. NOT terrorism.
Using photographs of Dachau to scare people about HCR is unbelievably inappropriate. When the wingnuts do these things, remember all they have left is fear. And fear makes us make bad decisions. Fight or flight is not an emotionally healthy reaction in a civilized society. Of course, if we don't care about the 120 dead every day, are we civilized? They are trying to make us lose our judgment. Do not let them do this.
I have the cutest dog in the world:

Just saying.

May peace prevail upon the earth.

Sleeve Island

2009-11-04T07:07:00.000-08:00

Is not as much fun as Bermuda, but not as bad as being on "Survivor."

Of course, I'm running out of yarn as I was too stupid to realize adding a hood would add to the yardage. Duh.

I'm trying to keep sleeving until I run out (and the other 2 balls get here) before running screaming to the sock yarn. If only I had more time to knit! Or more energy, more to the point.

Car has come back yet again from the shop without being fixed. My (lovely) mechanic can't figure it out and wants it to go to the dealer. Having finally realized that the reason for all the stress in my subconscious is the fact that I cannot go where I want when I want, I really want my car back. Why is it that the car only acts up for me?!?! Who says the dealer will be able to get it to do the coughing?

Anyway, I wanted to blog even though I don't have pix of the DS sweater, so here I am.

Sorry, Mainers! Sorry, about NJ, Mom! Go Owens!

Peace.

Things that are tormenting me

2009-11-01T13:23:00.000-08:00

Think I need some new socks?

Clearly the whole Halloween thing...

2009-10-31T12:43:00.000-07:00

Interferes with Blogtoberfest, thankfully almost over!

I have enjoyed trying to write more often, though, and hope it has helped get me back in the habit. Blogging on my work website has taken some of my good writing (non fiber-related) so I should remember to cross-post, too.

Almost done with the hood of DS's new sweater, sleeves next.

Fantasizing about what to knit next, of course. I have chosen a new fingerless mitt pattern for the teacher gifts this year: Susie's Reading Mitts. So pretty! I probably want some myself, but since I am in terrible sweater envy, I don't know. I have some Cascade 220 burning a hole in my yarn stash and a huge need for a bright green or orange Basic Chic Hoodie.

Yes, of course, I have a lot of sweaters. But my only handknit hoodie is Rogue, which is just too hot for my climate except once or twice a year or at camp and the yarn pilled right away AND my setting in of sleeves was less than stellar.

Plus I'm really enjoying the sweater for the DS, even though it has NO cabling or anything, so quick, so mindless. We'll see how I feel after the sleeves...

In non-fiber related news, we held our first (for us) Halloween Carnival at the church where I work last night and it was a huge success!! Congratulations, A! Thanks to all the volunteers especially J (Anonymous)!! And today all I have to do is manage to pick up a pre-roasted chicken and some jelly at the store and pick up my forgotten slow-cooker at work, thank goodness. The hard parts of Halloween are all behind me!

Have a safe and fun night tonight!

May peace prevail upon the earth.

Finally!

2009-10-22T07:13:00.000-07:00

Didn't wake up tired. Monday night took it out of me, I guess.

Working away on DS's sweater, I joined the fronts and back last night. If I can stay focused, I can finish this by Halloween after all, I think. It's sleeve island that scares me...

Otherwise, all is well. Work is busy but not too. School is going fine, not without its little struggles. Costumes are ready. Boys are going to camp tomorrow. Girls are supposed to join them on Saturday but 1) my car is in the shop AGAIN for the same thing; and 2) daughter REALLY does not want to go. Myself, I could use a day off, but won't miss it unless I have to.

Need to take pix of current knitting!

May peace prevail upon the earth.

Well, that was long.

2009-10-19T22:25:00.000-07:00

Just spent 4 1/2 hours total driving to/from and waiting in line to get a book signed by a favorite celebrity. Of course, by the time I got to the front of the line, he was over it, too. Perfectly understandable. I think perhaps it is better to meet these people in social situations or not at all. Not really fun, oh, well.

Peace.

Is the Pastor reading my mind?

2009-10-18T17:27:00.001-07:00

Or listening in on my phone calls?

From home?

For the second time in 4 weeks he has SO hit the nail on the head with something that was going on in my life, it's eerie. And, no, I didn't tell his wife or anything. It's just odd.

Either that or the subjects are so ubiquitous that they can apply to anyone's life at any given time, but I don't think so; I think it's just synchronicity for some reason.

I love the word ubiquitous.

I'm surprised he didn't use it in the sermon.

Finishing secret project and starting Son's new hoodie sweater, with which I am already bored. How is that? I really ought to add some cables or something...

Absolutely dying to knit something else. I may have to cheat on this one, we'll see.

May peace prevail upon the earth.

I got nothin'.

2009-10-17T19:34:00.001-07:00

I am exhausted.

Is there a thing where you have plenty of energy all week long for the myriad millions of things to do and then on the day when you have barely anything to do, you're too tired to even think?

I'm sure if I had had a lot to do, I could have done it. But since I only had one thing to do, it utterly exhausted me. Pathetic.

OT, I have set up a system by which person-playing-with-Blackberry-during-church can be surprised by receiving an anonymous text message while doing so asking him to stop. Will only institute if necessary.

Ambivalent about whether I want it to be or not!

Aren't I terrible?

Girl Scout Cadette Troop 291 has decided to name themselves The Lucky Charms. And they are, too!

Peace.

Facing Everything Unafraid

2009-10-16T15:45:00.000-07:00

[cross-posted from my work blog]

I've talked a lot about fear in this blog so far (I went back and read the old posts before writing this). But mostly in a "Wow, isn't it nice not to feel like that anymore" sort of way.

But we all feel fear sometimes, of course. Recently I had to deal with my fear of confrontation. Oh, stop laughing! There are indeed some kinds of confrontation that I fear!

Lately I've been fearful of the outcome of the Health Care Reform debate in Congress. And fighting my fear. The summer was a real roller-coaster ride: the Public Option is dead, the Public Option is a deal-breaker! Every day, one or the other. But now the closer we come to the end of the debate, the harder it is not to worry about how it will come out, how will people get the heathcare they need, how will we stop the unneccessary deaths that happen every day?

The United Methodist Church's statement on Health Care Reform from The Book of Discipline, 2008:

¶ 162 V) Right to Health Care—Health is a condition of physical, mental, social, and spiritual well-being. John 10:10b says, “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” Stewardship of health is the responsibility of each person to whom health has been entrusted.

Creating the personal, environmental, and social conditions in which health can thrive is a joint responsibility—public and private. We encourage individuals to pursue a healthy lifestyle and affirm the importance of preventive health care, health education, environmental and occupational safety, good nutrition, and secure housing in achieving health. Health care is a basic human right.
Providing the care needed to maintain health, prevent disease, and restore health after injury or illness is a responsibility each person owes others and government owes to all, a responsibility government ignores at its peril. In Ezekiel 34:4a, God points out the failures of the leadership of Israel to care for the weak: “You have not strengthened the weak, you have not healed the sick, you have not bound up the injured.” As a result all suffer.
Like police and fire protection, health care is best funded through the government’s ability to tax each person equitably and directly fund the provider entities. Countries facing a public health crisis such as HIV/AIDS must have access to generic medicines and to patented medicines.
We affirm the right of men and women to have access to comprehensive reproductive health/family planning information and services that will serve as a means to prevent unplanned pregnancies, reduce abortions, and prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS. The right to health care includes care for persons with brain diseases, neurological conditions, or physical disabilities, who must be afforded the same access to health care as all other persons in our communities. It is unjust to construct or perpetuate barriers to physical or mental wholeness or full participation in community.
We believe it is a governmental responsibility to provide all citizens with health care.
From The Book of Discipline of The United Methodist Church - 2008. Copyright 2008 by The United Methodist Publishing House. Used by permission. [Emphasis added]

Now that the end of the process is near, it is important to trust, it is important to pray. It is important to face the future unafraid and know that we are not alone, thanks be to God!

May peace prevail upon the earth.

Blogtoberfest is not working out

2009-10-14T19:36:00.000-07:00

I have not posted every day, ho hum. I should just do it when I get up in the morning. Like yoga. Oh, yeah, I don't do that either.

I wake up so early, but I cherish that quiet time before anyone else is up, coffee, blog surfing, shuffling around in my slippers in the dim light. Soon enough it's making breakfast, finding socks, filling water bottles, signing papers.

Anyway, I've been better about it at least.

OKC: Modeled photos (thanks to Anonymous) of the Fair Sweater, 2009: Yeah, I cropped my head out of it, what's it to you? Yes, the sweater looks large and it is. But it is cushy and beautiful and I love it with the fire of a thousand suns.

And another headless photo of my summer knitting, Tempest: This one, you can see, fits well and I've been wearing it on the warmish days. I need like 10 more of these! It was an easy knit, easy sewing up and is pretty much perfect! Maybe a black one, maybe handspun variegated, maybe handspun striped, maybe sale yarn at the closing LYS, maybe a hundred things. Love it, love it, love it!

Finishing secret project then on to DS's new sweater, which I should probably have finished before he goes to camp next weekend, but it simply did not occur to me. I was aiming for Halloween and will absolutely make Thanksgiving, due to changing the order of projects to get the secret one done in plenty of time.

Better get back to it!

May peace prevail upon the earth.

Well, that was interesting!

2009-10-13T17:51:00.000-07:00

I just spent an hour being a member of a focus group discussing our school district (very good in general) with the new Superintendent and some of the School Board.

I gave them a piece of my mind about: putting my son in a combo class with little notice and no availability of the principal; the fact that unless you call first or something, their email spam filter bounces parent communications; our old kindergarten teacher looks haunted with 30 children in her class; that the API scores are not that important to parents, only to administrators.

They're going to show the video of the meeting to the Principals. Yay.

Actually, I'm glad I said it all. Our school is very good, really, I just happen to have an issue this year and they just happened to pick me randomly.

It doesn't hurt that one of the School Board members is a member of my church, though.

Anyway, I don't know what, if anything, will happen, but at least the higher-ups were asking good questions.

Peace.

Hmmm...

2009-10-12T07:21:00.001-07:00

People who play with their Blackberry during the sermon, should decline from criticizing the content of same. Just saying. Especially if they're looking for a promotion. Ahem.

ETA: Wondering if this snarky comment is in conflict with my "Philosophy." Should I look to myself? Sure. Does this behavior make said person happy? Perhaps. But it will not lead to better employment opportunities. Does said person read this blog. Not as far as I know.

What are your thoughts?

My New Philosophy

2009-10-10T11:21:00.000-07:00

And believe me, I've been thinking about it.

Better to worry about my own behavior and other people's happiness. Not so much my own happiness and other people's behavior.

Peace.

Holy Moley!

2009-10-09T15:44:00.001-07:00

The Nobel Peace Prize! I'm gobsmacked!

I agree with Michael Moore. Contratulations! Now earn it. We know you can.

Yes you can.

Peace!

If I post twice today, does it make up for yesterday?

2009-10-08T05:44:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I was just overrun. Don't really know why...

But I did [edited because of stupidity] so that's something anyway.

And I wore the Fair sweater all day, luscious! J took pictures, up later.

Peace.

Safe home from the Fair!

2009-10-06T16:25:00.000-07:00

I picked up my Fair entries today, a tedious drive, but at least my sweater is safe. And it will be cold enough tomorrow morning sitting outside to show it off!

Happy International Walk and Bike to School Day tomorrow!

Peace.

A UFO becomes an FO!

2009-10-05T16:02:00.000-07:00

DD's fall sweater is finished!

Only took 5 days longer than I wanted, not too bad. It's not perfect, although it does fit her perfectly (won't last long) but it's just what she wanted so I'm thrilled.

Yarn: Encore Worsted in Lilac, purchased at the sadly closing Handmade here in Burbank on a super sale.

Size 7 needles, knit the smallest size hoping it would size down to a 10-year-old. Length was decided by the client! Also sleeves. She can have long sleeves later if she wants, but doesn't seem to. She runs rather warm and this will probably be just right.

Yay, finishing! On to DS's sweater and something else as well...

Peace.

Easy things and difficult things

2009-10-04T17:30:00.000-07:00

Some things are easy and others are difficult.

And then the difficult things get easy and the easy things get harder.

Do they go back? When do we stop mourning the loss of the old easy things and just get on with it?

I fight the impulse to drop the things that used to be easy and wait it out. Slog it out, as it were, till the tide turns.

I try to focus on the things that are easy now and enjoy them. But I miss the old easy things.

Why can't everything be easy?

Oh, yeah, humans.

Peace.

Still thinking about hate speech...

2009-10-03T13:07:00.000-07:00

I just read this great quote in Roger Ebert's blog comments (a blog I highly recommend!):

Dostoevsky knew that *129 years ago*, as his loathsome Fyodor Karamazov said:
"... it is rather pleasant to feel wronged -- don't you agree? So a man may know very well that no one has offended him, and may invent an offense, lie just for the beauty of it, or exaggerate what someone said to create a situation, making a mountain out of a molehill. And although he is well aware of it himself, he nevertheless does feel offended because he enjoys doing so, derives great pleasure from it, and so he comes to feel real hostility toward the imaginary offender."

Emphasis mine. I certainly felt the hostility directed toward me last week. I hope the hostile person derived some pleasure from it. Otherwise it really was without value.

Peace.