Pulling the puzzles apart

Growing up

2007-11-21T21:21:00.000+04:00

Spend in pure converse our eternal day;
Think each in each, immediately wise;
Learn all we lacked before; hear, know, and say
What this tumultuous body now denies;
And feel, who have laid our groping hands away;
And see, no longer blinded by our eyes.

-Rupert Brooke

I came to the conclusion that a person never realizes how much he has grown as much as when he read previous writings of his; journals, blogs, personal emails, etc.

There is no better proof of the things I did that I regret and things I said that certainly shouldn’t have been said. Things that seem trivial now meant so much before and I just wonder how silly and self indulgent I was.

I look around me and I see people, especially young women, living very superficial lives and I tried to make more of my life, but after reading my history I realized that I might not have been superficial but I still was not the person I thought I was; I didn’t live up to the image (not physical!) I had of myself.

I guess that is what growing up and learning is all about, you know more today that you did yesterday and hopefully less than what you will tomorrow, or as Lincoln said it "I do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday". I know today that I’m not the same person I was six months ago, and that scares me because it makes me wonder who is the person I’m going to be next year?

This was like a wakeup call to remind me that every single decision I make today, is going to shape my future, whichever path I choose to take today, every hour I was I can’t rewind.

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

-Robert Frost

Midterms are over ... almost!

2007-10-31T14:49:00.000+04:00

Why is it that the last exam is always the hardest to study before? I just get tired from all the exams and the studying, and it all feels like it has been going on forever. While studying for the last exam you can think of a dozen other things that you should be doing, and you get tired faster and an all-nighter seems impossible. On the other hand, when you do well on your last exam all the other grades seems irrelevant and you just want to celebrate.

There are only two courses that any student graduating from UAEU must to take: Islamic Law and Emirates Society. Emirate society is a nightmare to most students in the university and I really didn’t understand why and so in a moment of idiocy I decided that I will take it in Arabic instead of English, I had many reason for doing that one of which is that it is about time for me to improve my Arabic and learn more about my country – in Arabic. Don’t I regret that decision now though, oh yes I do. The teacher seemed like a nice guy, I enjoyed the lecture in general and actually listened to what he was saying, I wrote pages and pages of notes (in Arabic!) and was very confident about doing well, I went to the exam and thought I did great since I wrote all the points needed. Here is what I’m proud of; I wrote two essays in the exam each a page long! The teacher was not as impressed about my answers as I was it seem because he didn’t give me a 100 (I think he really hated my handwriting!), he previously warned us that anyone who questions him about his grading in the essay questions will regret it because then he will open the book and if the student didn’t answer word for word from the book he/she will lost marks. After the exam he said something about the students having bad handwritings, misspelling some words and not underlining key words.

I was so mad, and still am because this course is for all students in the university in all levels and I don’t see why they should make it such a nightmare to the students, why not make it interesting to learn about your culture and history for once?!

I don’t care though because I did great in all my other exams so Egyptian Professor teaching Emirates society and enjoying a power trip is not worth ruining my day. (Can you tell I’m trying to convince myself? I really should have taken that course in English.)

Eid Mubarak

2007-10-18T03:55:00.000+04:00

Belated Eid Mubarak to everyone!

I hate saying Eid was not great but it was not, it felt more like a long weekend where you just have to socialize with people and be nice. Since this Eid was not very enjoyable we are trying to plan something more fun for next Eid but I’m not sure it will work out because exams seem to stick with Eid these days, midterm exams after this Eid and final Exams after next Eid.

What makes us Muslims

2007-10-02T21:34:00.000+04:00

[This post is basically me stating my view regarding what was posted on: Exposing Muslims against Sharia]

It’s a plain fact in life that things change, ideas evolve and cultural norms adapt to the changing environment, but what do we do when the change start affecting religious beliefs and values, and where do we stop and what should we hold to and what should be changed. It’s a sensitive issue in the society and many people deny and can’t accept that we should try to make the best of everything, of course their actions don’t agree with what they say but that’s another story. If we’re not going to change for ourselves then we should think about doing it for our children because we don’t want them to grow up with conflicting ideas in a multicultural society.

That said, there are things that we can’t afford to lose in Islam and our beliefs, they are plain facts that every Muslim knows and whoever doesn’t believe in that or can’t accept it – maybe they should go and give the religion they are self-tailoring for themselves a name other than Islam.

Islam is simple and direct unlike what people think, to be a Muslim you have to believe in some things and do some things that has been craved in our minds since we were kids, so I don’t see how grown up can’t remember them and hold dearly to them?

Articles of Faith (Arkan AlEman) –

Believe in Allah (an only God)
His Angels
His books of revelation (Quran, Torah, Testaments, Bible and more)
All His prophets
The day of judgment and the afterlife
Faith in divine decree whether it’s good or bad.

Five pillars of Islam (Arkan AlEslam) –

Declaration of faith (Alshahada) which goes “I believe that there is only one God and Mohammed is his messenger”
Prayer (Five times a day at designated timings)
Fasting (Seyam) in the month of Ramadan
Zakat – almsgiving in a certain percentage according to a person’s assets.
Hajj – Pilgrimage to Makkah at least once in a Muslim’s life to those who are able.

If you don’t believe in those things then you can’t call yourself a Muslim anymore because how can you identify yourself with a group of people when you don’t believe in what holds the group together?

Summer thrill

2007-10-02T11:44:00.000+04:00

Last summer I finally convinced my mother not to completely freak out and let me ride the slingshot, or it was more like I ran away from her and went to ride it and when she saw them pulling me up she just held the metal and started praying.

I rode it with my brother and sister and after the guys tied us up they said that I’m the one who will have to pull the trigger when we get up and let us loose, it sounded to me as if he was saying “just go up that building and jump.”, just plain instructions and I told him in plain words that I don’t think I can do that but he ignored me and pulled us up. On the way up I was freaking out and holding my brother’s arm so hard I wonder how I didn’t break it or something. When it was time to pull the trigger, I decided that I need to fix my Hijab, just to buy some time you know, and then I got this idea, I will just pull it only a little bit and tell them it’s not working and I’m trying. What happened though is that I just did that and I didn’t realize what happened until I was halfway down – it actually worked and we were falling!

It was the most exhilarating experience ever, I came down and wanted to go up again but they didn’t let me. After doing that I felt like I can ride anything and would really like to bungee jumping and free falling, I love thrill rides!

"The flight suits are connected to flight cables and on pulling their own rip cord, riders plunge in a 30m free fall at 80 to 90 km/h towards the ground before the swinging upwards in a 180 degree arc and then straight down again."

Pictures from the park's website:

Tied up and ready to go and I would guess the guy is telling them they will have to pull the cord, their expressions are just priceless, at least no one took a picture of me at that point this close.

They are flying!

Free to write again

2007-10-01T15:18:00.000+04:00

Since the chance of me being jailed for writing here is null, or at least they say so, I decided I will try my hand at this again.

Now no one mentioned anything about torturing or killing me so I will still have to watch what I write until further notice from higher authorities that I’m to live. For now.

To those people who take life too seriously they don’t get a joke if it slapped them on the face – that was a sarcastic comment.

Ramadan Mubarak to everyone, and good luck in trying to make the most out of the last ten days, don’t forget that this might be your chance to get a free ticket out of hell. J

UAE vs KSA

2007-01-27T21:46:00.000+04:00

For some unknown reason to me, I feel like laughing my evil laugh so HA-HA-HA-HAA!

Friends and family are gathered in our house all watching the game between Emirates and KSA, they're all so excited and I'm sitting in a living room next to the one their sitting in so I can just see their expressions but not the match and they would scream and jump every now and then.

I have a feeling that we're going to lose but they got mad when I mentioned that, my grandmother gave me this 'look' and was like 'have faith' and then mom started trying to give the Saudi's the 'eye' and her mom started lecturing her about it and telling her that she shouldn't do that, don't pray against any one and just watch. I really enjoy watching my parents being lectured at by their parents, especially that they're good children and therefore actually listen and in a way I feel like they turn into little kids, I'm sure they don't enjoy it though.

Mom decided that we're going to have '7ameer bread for dinner but she wants to watch the game so they got the stuff in the living room and they're baking bread there – kind of chaotic but the house smells good, I will go eat.

I still think we're going to lose… Those Saudi's are so tall and the Emaratis are so short. And even if we won this game with will lose against Oman! I'm such an optimistic person!

UPDATE:

WE WON! It was the best goal ever in the last minute too! So awesome! Everyone was jumping and screaming and the whole house was shaking!

I was not sitting with them but then went to eat and said 'Now that I'm here, we will make a goal!' and we did!!! (even though I was saying Saudi will win, i just said that because from past experience that team I'm against always win, believe me, it's true)

Now we're going to play against Oman on Tuesday and hopefully we will win, but mom said how they might because they (Oman) will be going to Bahla today.

People are actually celebrating it big, I can see the fireworks and can hear the cars beeping. I wonder if we're going to sleep tonight from all the noise.

I wish I know why

2007-01-26T17:47:00.000+04:00

Here's an insight on what my life has been like lately. Since I finished exams I have been basically doing nothing except chilling which means thinking about life in general, then I had to spend some time with family. I have never been one to go on and talk to people; I have my 'personal space' issue, so don't jump on my face and start talking.

I didn't grow up around locals, I actually didn't grow up around anyone except my family and didn't even hang out with my cousins so when I grew up and started spending some times with them I saw things as an outsider would. 3lo g mentioned guys holding hands, I faced a similar problem with my female cousins (since no one else would dare come that close) and in the end I just had to go out and say it loud 'don't touch me!'. Maybe it's the norm and nothing is wrong with it, but I'm going to live my way.

Even with my family, I sometimes don't understand their beliefs and ideas and it almost always starts a discussion that I just end because I feel nothing is going to change them, but then sometimes these beliefs, if not changed, are going to effect my future and might hurt me so I just keep on talking and talking – nothing changed yet. Most of these discussions are what I would consider 'racist' but they say it's not that as much as about the culture and society, but if they're not welling to change then how do they expect the society to change, while if they started changing few things then by time everyone will come to accept it and change too, especially that they do that the power to change.

They're just so happy and proud that they're locals that sometimes that cloud their judgment and they would say things that I don't think are even acceptable in Islam. Most of the time these discussions evolve around issues such as marriage and politics; who is fine to marry and who is not, and who is okay to rule and have a high position and who is not. Then sometimes the debates start because of a simple action or saying and grow into this big issue that makes me so mad (I'm really good at just shutting up when I get mad though).

Like last week I challenged my younger brother to braid his hair in Kenya (global village) and at the time I honestly didn't think of it as a challenge that would cause such an issue as much as something he should do now when he's young and enjoy his life. He went and did it and it was so cool, I would post a picture if I can but I can't. Anyways, there we are walking around and we see dad in India and show him the hair and he gave my brother the evil eye and my brother says "MJ dared me to do it!" and then I get the evil eye so I walk away. I still don't get what the problem was and why did my dad get so mad at us but he did and it was like a complete disgrace to the family, they didn't even ask the reasons of why he did it after he blamed me so maybe my dad was more mad that my brother would do such a thing as a challenge (he said something like 'if MJ dared you to jump off a building, would you?') I remember braiding my hair in London when I was 12 or so and walking around so happy with my hair and white boots and I didn't think my dad minded but turned out that he was mad but let me go with it, his reason was that someone might think I have some (how do I say that?!!) African? Blood in my! Which is so wrong to say and harram!

The summary is, I'm the one who always causes such trouble (nothing new there, at least no one was physically hurt this time!) but I still don't know why!

Can anyone please explain why it's such a 'wrong' thing for guys to braid their hair? (He's only 15!)

Break

2007-01-18T03:00:00.000+04:00

This is my favorite time of the day, until sunrise; it's so quiet and peaceful you feel like you're the only person in this world. Of course, most people waste it by sleeping at this time as they are taught to feel that it is the "right thing" to do, when it's just believed so for some unknown reason to me.

I finished exams yesterday and thank God it all went well. If anyone out there thinks that getting good grades is all about being clever and studying hard then I'm forced to just disagree with you, it has a lot to do with luck, or what I would call luck since I don't know what it really is. Now I don't have to think about anything school related until the 11^th of February, not that I think much about it anyways.

We had some plans for this holiday but then some uncle of mine decided to get married and therefore ruin our plans which mean I will be stuck in the country for this holiday. The only thing I know we will do is going to the desert and that will mean I have been to the desert this year more than I went in the past three years.

I watched the opening ceremony for Khaliji18 today and thought it marvelous, my favorite part was when they painted Sheikh Khalifa's picture, and no one guessed that they would do that! The fire part of the show was really interesting to watch too.

Then the game started, everyone was so excited about it and cheering, but we lost. I personally think it was an unfair game which is why I only watch the first half, and the referee has every reason to sleep with one eye open for the rest of his life.

Africa sweet Africa

2007-01-17T06:55:00.000+04:00

My house is turning into Africa!!!

I will barrow Biz's African Drum and...

Lala kahle

In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight
In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight

Imbube

Ingonyama ifile    
Ingonyama ilele    
Thula

I have my last final exam in an hour and have been studying all night... Almost.

I spent few hours playing wii too.

I will go have some hot chocolate then. I also have a cookie.

in the jungle, the mighty jungle...

Eid Mubarak

2006-12-30T02:07:00.000+04:00

Have a Happy Eid everyone.

For more information on how to send me my Eidiya (or gifts) contact me by email. Thank you.

Update at 10:54 PM: This was the best Eid ever! I don't think I have laughed this much in a very long time or made people around me laugh like this. It reminded me of Eid when I was a kid and everything was great about Eid. How was everyone's Eid?

The story of Starbucks, London, and Mice.

2006-12-19T22:54:00.000+04:00

Starbucks fined over mice!

and for something who was bitten by a mouse once, this is a nightmare come true.

I really think British people should not be allowed to have Starbucks, they don't appreciate coffee anyways, and don't know how to sell it. That's what I thought last summer, but after reading this, turned out they don't... Okay, I will stop here before saying something very insulting to British people which i was going to say. I just don't like to generalize.

Lecture

2006-12-19T22:00:00.000+04:00

I attended a lecture today at the university by Dr. Gary Weaven from the American University about "Working in a multicultural Environment". It was really interesting and I enjoyed it a lot, it made me think about deeply about more things and understand other people more. I need more time to write exactly what I think about it all but just wanted to say that he's going to AUS tomorrow (Wednesday) and to RAK on Thursday. If you can make time, go!

He liked my purple Nikes! :D

More about cultures later.

Help!

2006-12-19T13:01:00.000+04:00

Okay. It's time to start panicking but I'm going to write instead. I was just sitting here so happy that my class is canceled, I'm drinking my favorite drink from Starbucks and I'm going to have squids for lunch (they're actually really good, if you don't know that they are squid before you try them) when I realized that NEXT WEEK IS THE LAST WEEK OF THE SEMESTER.

When teachers tell us about projects they just say 'it's due last week of the semester' they don't say 'in two weeks' (even if they said, it wouldn't probably make me start working earlier anyways) so I really have to start working...

One of the projects is worth a lot but I can do in few hours, problem is that I will have to make my other group members work which might be a little problem. The other project… well, there got to be some advantage about your younger sister being in the same class, and same group with you.

On another topic, I thought a female would win the election in Dubai but none did, and the only female winner so far is from Abu Dhabi and a professor in UAEU. Hopefully, Sharjah will have another winner from UAEU, even if not a female.

Did anyone in Alain notice the sky/weather yesterday? The sky was blue on one side and very cloudy on the other, like my room was sunny, I go to the living room and I can see clouds from one side and the sun coming for the other side. At one point it rain but the sun was so hot in some areas. It was pretty confusing, you can't decide what to wear!

I have always wanted to say this to people who live in Dubai and are stuck with all the construction, in Alain, I see the red and white signs and think 'oh, wow, we've some construction going on in Alain' but it turn out they're only fixing the flowers. It's not always the case, but it happens a lot.

Pictures

2006-12-11T21:47:00.000+04:00

*They passed by to say hi last weekend when we went to the desert.

The past few weeks were busy and chaotic in many ways, at one point I took my blog offline and deleted few posts. Hopefully, I will be writing again here again but in the meantime here is a link to a flickr account created by Arabized and I, you can currently see the pictures from our desert trip. You shouldn't miss the comments on the camels' pictures on flickr, they're hilarious.

Pictures

Why can't kids be sweet?

2006-09-27T17:44:00.000+04:00

I missed my class at 8 this morning and decided I will take the whole day off and a very long weekend.

Around 2, my cousin's kids came from school and two of my cousin's are staying with us for few days so I decided I will do something good to the world and baby sit them. It all went very well at first, I gave them lunch and they ate it like good kids – if you would ignore the fact that they insisted on have berry cocktail on their rice with the meat.

I think the berries might have something to do with it because those three girls TURNED WILD! They started running around the house screaming and throwing things around. I yelled once and one of them was like 'so what? What can you do to us?'

I got so mad because no kids talks to me like that so I said 'I will give you a time out in the bathroom and lock the door'

That worked for about five minutes.

At that point I decided even helping in the kitchen can't be that bad and called mom to tell her but she talked me into giving it another try.

I decided to try some TV but turned out they're not the kind to sit and watch TV but to jump over chairs and tables.

After trying to calm myself down for few minutes, I just started yelling and took them all back to the games' room – which is not a bad thing for them when I think of it now. Anyways, this time another one of them turned to me and was like 'you don't scare me!'

After all the yelling I don't scare her?

I yelled louder this time and warned her that I will send her to downstairs to her mother and she won't get to play with the girls.

That worked for like 5 minutes and then they got into playing playstation for few more minutes and I decided I will leave them because they can manage like that and I'm so sick from sitting in the games' room.

Now I'm just writing this and they're walking all around the house… I'm going to buy myself some ice-cream later.

Two of them were whispering to each other and going downstairs, when I asked them where they're going they said they want to see my brother's teacher and she's downstairs, then they came back and were like whispering how she's 'Jiniya!' then they took the youngest and told her they're going to see her again but that she should kiss the Jiniya and you should just look from far away. Not only are they annoying, they're racists too.

Ramadan

2006-09-24T13:19:00.000+04:00

One of my favorite things about Ramadan is going to pray Taraweeh in the Masjid because you go pray and come back and have nothing to do, nothing to worry about. If I decided to pray at home, I will end up praying after 11 and doing nothing before that except sitting and thinking how lazy I feel after Iftar. Anyways, so Friday night I was excited waiting for them to say if tomorrow is Ramadan or not so I can go pray.

My sister made the mistake of telling my grandmother who was visiting that Saturday is Ramadan before they announced it and didn't she get a look! No physical harm was done though.

Apparently my grandmother says that Saturday can't be Ramadan because President Gaddafi said that it's Ramadan before Maghirb in Libya, so as far as my grandmother know, if any other country said Saturday is Ramadan then they're just following Gaddafi. It's nothing new though, she's always saying for one reason or another that those people don't know anything and they give us the wrong dates.

My sisters and I then walked to the Masjid to pray – that Masjid is one of my least favorite. The architecture is so beautiful but the people who pray there are just nasty. They ladies smell so awful that I keep wondering how can they stink like that, what did they eat or do to smell like that – I though it was impossible. Also, every woman would come with her herd of kids who would play around, scream and run. It was a typical nightmare in Ajman.

Yesterday, we came back to Alain and went to pray in the Masjid near our house, it's such a nice Masjid and the Imam, masha'allah, is so good (people from all over Alain come to pray in it) and people smell nice here. The secret is to find an old lady and pray next to her – they always have gallons of perfume on them.

I wonder what we are having for Iftar today...

Technology, Entertainment and Design

2006-09-20T10:58:00.000+04:00

I found the TEDtalks podcast and have been listening to one every now and then and finding some really remarkable and recommended them to many who also enjoyed listening to them. Just listening to all these people share their ideas and thought is amazing and not something you would find everyday.

Here is a link to link to their website and this link to its blog.

You can also find the podcasts on iTunes, just search for TEDtalks in podcast.

Enjoy.

Personality test

2006-09-18T10:15:00.000+04:00

Here is a link to an online personality test.

This one is very accurate and to the point, even though not everything is really sweet, I mean who would really want to know how 'friendly' they are?

I did it and the results were kind of things I known but most I was not really aware of. I also shared it with my sisters, mom and friend and they shared theirs which kind of helped in understanding them and helped them to understand me – they got me all wrong when I asked them before.

Education

2006-09-18T10:03:00.000+04:00

Here is an interesting article about the education ministry.

"We want to elevate the standards of education by creating a motivational academic environment. We are in a process of redeveloping the educational system across the country. Our utmost priority is to consider what is in the best interest of the pupils. All the elements involved in the educational system will undergo extensive changes," - Dr. AlNuaimi

Well, Hello there, but it's about time someone did something about the educational system here and in the article they sounded like there would be some changes.

I wonder what would be done about this textbook. Last week a book that showed policemen as the 'bad' people in society (Grade 5) and orders were that the pages that include that lesson should be ripped from all books.

Maybe I should have switched my major to education; this is interesting, well keep you updated.

My classes this fall

2006-09-08T23:00:00.000+04:00

Summer is over and so is first week of classes, which was hectic and frustrating. I couldn't decide how many courses I want to take because I don't know how many more semesters I'm willing to spend in the university. I finally decided on five only which means I will have five more semesters including the internship. This will make my mom happy because she will have her dream of me and my sister graduating in the same year; just think of how cute that would be! –Slaps self-

I planned it all along time ago, my schedule, and that I will not take a class at 8 in the morning because I don’t want to wake up that early during Ramadan. I ended up registering afternoon classes and was happy with that only to go to one class and find that the teacher was changed and this teacher can't give us at that time and only time that would be okay for everyone is 8 in the morning. I didn't cry. It's just going to be so annoying to go two days a week at 8 and the other two days at 12, and finish at 6:20.

Alain at 8 in the morning is different and special, there is actually traffic especially near the schools' road, and the weather is so fresh and people are just calmer and I feel like they're thinking deeply about all the details – or maybe it's that they're not thinking but still asleep and therefore so quiet.

I, so far, like all my classes and professors and hopefully they're as good as they seem to be. What I find entertaining is that in most of the classes the teachers are so funny but only me and my friends get their jokes and laugh while the other girls are just sitting there starring, some might laugh after we laugh by few minutes just to show they understood.

I can't remember many incidents but in marketing class the teacher was talking about how a person can be a product, like Paris Hilton, then he went quiet for few seconds and said 'she can be a service too'

Then he was telling us how when we go to an interview we're selling ourselves… in a good way.

Another professor told us a story that happened to him in the male's campus. He was sitting in the advising office when this Japanese guy came to register and he wanted to register 8 courses (no the normal in the university is five, and only A students and graduating students can take 7, no one takes 8!) when they tried talking him out of it he told them how in Japan everyone takes 8 courses. Later, my Prof. saw him around and they were talking when the Japanese student told him how 'books here are HUGE; in Japan they have smaller books. (Palm size) I just busted out laughing at that even though it was at 8 in the morning, I just can imagine Japanese people carrying around a smaller version of our books.

That's what is going on in my life and insha'allah I will be updating more now; I have a lot to say about the change that's going on in the university.

Mindless and heartless

2006-08-14T21:37:00.000+04:00

I have been thinking about historical novels and realized that all the ones I have read circles around one topic: war. About what started a war, what ended it, which killed who, how people lived through wars and after them. I came to the conclusion that history is made by wars; wars are what makes up history.
We, human beings, like to believe that we have brains to think and that we actually use them and are always so grateful to God for that. In reality though, we do all have brains but most are not used, left to rot more like.
It's all part of being a human being, most people don't appreciate what they have unless they worked hard to get it or until they lose it, we don't have brains because we worked any harder or because we are special, we have brains only because God gave them to us, just like a leg or skin.
We all have hearts too, that's what's supposed to make us alive (does not using it make us less alive?) but how many use theirs to feel?! (Okay, feelings are from the brain but it's simpler to think of feeling and thinking as two separate things even though in reality they are intertwined it would be complicated to separate them.)
I therefore came to the conclusion that most people can only use their mind or heart but very rarely both, so at any people in time a person would as a rule be heartless or brainless, choose your pick. There are some exceptions to that one of which would include people who can use neither.
If people actually think and feel them why are they killing in every corner of the earth! Why is there more hatred that oxygen in the air! I didn't realize I'm so angry about what is going on in the world until I started writing this. I feel lost and wish I can find answers, how can someone hurt a child, let alone kill on? How can anyone kill for the sake of killing, just to make a point!
With all the fury in me, I find it easier to live believing that man is doing what he's doing because he is not thinking rather that doing it because he thought long about it and believes it's the right think to do. How would I tolerate living in such a world otherwise?!

What happened in Heathrow?

2006-08-11T19:53:00.000+04:00

Thursday morning, and just as we were leaving to Heathrow we got a call from the embassy telling us that 'we're not allowed to carry anything with us except money – no handbags, no books, no mobile phones… nothing' so we just put all our handbags and stuff in our bags to be checked in, but we still didn't really know what's going on and just went.

We checked the radio in the car but they didn't say much about Heathrow except talk about the traffic which was more than usual but not bad. We went to check in our bags we could see that people were just getting the news because they had their handbags and were carrying stuff, the staff were giving out plastic bags for the essentials only which includes passport, wallets, sunglasses.

The interesting thing was that gulf air is in the same terminal with American Airlines which probably meant they need to check more with us. We went through three check points and they four because they were checked one last time before boarding (gate next to ours too.)

Everyone was confused and there were armed police everywhere. I didn't know what to expect or what might happen next, then something funny would happen and when I laugh I think 'well I be laughing when I later think of this day?'

By the time we got to the duty free I felt like I have queued more than I did in a very long time!

And all that before coffee!

The announcement said that we are to expect a 2 hours delay and flight to America 5 hours delay, ours was 3 hours late and I know that some flights to America were canceled when we were there. Then few hours after we left they closed the airport.

I don't mind flying in general but I was so jumpy on that one! I kept thinking and imagining things, funniest was when we were over Iraq and I could see lights and was watching outside the window when I saw this really bright dot, I closed my eyes, opened them and felt like it's coming toward me, I don't know why but I thought it must be a missile or a plane or something and it's going to hit us and we are going to die. In a second, I jumped from my chair, hit my sister who was sleeping next to me, tripped over nothing and fell down in front of my mother who was sitting in the chair behind me. When I got there I realized that the missile probably missed because I'm still alive so I just walked away.

The bright light turned out to be a full moon but because of the clouds I couldn't really see it and only saw a part of it – I can be very dramatic sometimes I guess.

Out of everything that happened what I minded the most was flying without books especially when I found that we could have bought books from the duty free, they never were more true when they said 'they will have to do with our movies and magazines'. I also so badly wished I had a camera.

We had problems in booking our flight so we had to change plane in Bahrain to Dubai, we missed that one but booked on a later one, it's a short flight but when we got to Dubai and because of congestion we kept flying and flying for more than 20 minutes, those were the one of the worst things, I just wanted to touch ground and we could see planes around us – not nice.

All in all, it's good to be home and I don't think I would be going to London anytime soon, for this to happen to us two years in a row when we didn't really plan or want to go to London in the first place!

Gone With The Wind

2006-06-30T13:12:00.000+04:00

(This was written Thursday night)

I have been wondering lately why do I love reading novels so much, and more than few answers came to my mind and all of them, added together, made sense, but only when I was reading 'Gone With The Wind' did I realize the real reason behind it all.

I read to live in other people's shoes, to know what they have experienced in life and what emotions they went through, to know what makes them happy and what break them, where they lived and where they've been to. I like to live these life and add their experiences to mine, believing that knowing more about that would make me understand people and this world better. I read novels to live with these people for few hours and then come back to reality and be glad and happy with my life, and appreciate everything in it much more.

I believe I have never read a book like 'Gone with the Wind', and I have a very strong feeling that I would never enjoy and love a book as much as do it. It's the story of something that actually happened (Civil War) and then the story of people who lived it, their thoughts and feelings, what they did and what they have been through. It takes you from how a plantation is run to politics, to love and marriage, death and loss, sickness, and people – I believe people are the most difficult of all that – and yet you're not bored by it, but rather would want to spend as much a time reading it to know what would happen, but with every page, you wish you can stop pages turning because you don't want it to finish.

It's also the first book I read that explained slavery in the US from a white person point of view. White people thought the black people are happy and couldn't really understand why does the Yankees what to set them free! It was also a shocking knowledge how much the Yankees and the Southern used to hate each other, I never thought people from two different places who hate each other that much can actually live with each other later.

I spent hours on it, the last being more than 10 hours last night, I just couldn't sleep and when I was told in the morning we're going out, I just smiled and couldn't stop smiling all day to the point people were wondering what's going on with me? Only my youngest sister guessed that I read a very good book but she dismissed the thought because it sure is something more. Nothing would have stopped my smile – not even when I found that a favorite shirt was ruined.

I think the way I think of books might be weird to people, stupid to others, or confusing, and very few might get what I'm talking about in this. If there is an excuse to my rambling, it would be that I didn't sleep and need it desperately.

Dorothy Parker

2006-06-22T03:28:00.000+04:00

"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."
- Dorothy Parker

I have never studied poetry and I don't think I ever well, but I do enjoy reading it a lot and Dorothy Parker is the poet tonight. Even though she was crazy and tried to commit suicide and all – she's fun! And aren't all the great poets depressed, sad and weird?

Finis
Now it's over, and now it's done;
Why does everything look the same?
Just as bright, the unheeding sun, --
Can't it see that the parting came?
People hurry and work and swear,
Laugh and grumble and die and wed,
Ponder what they will eat and wear, --
Don't they know that our love is dead?

Just as busy, the crowded street;
Cars and wagons go rolling on,
Children chuckle, and lovers meet, --
Don't they know that our love is gone?
No one pauses to pay a tear;
None walks slow, for the love that's through, --
I might mention, my recent dear,
I've reverted to normal, too.

Many of her poems are full of emotions and meaning that the reader would feel with her but then she would end it with a line or two that just makes me smile.

Observation

If I don't drive around the park,
I'm pretty sure to make my mark.
If I'm in bed each night by ten,
I may get back my looks again,
If I abstain from fun and such,
I'll probably amount to much,
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn.

Distance
Were you to cross the world, my dear,
To work or love or fight,
I could be calm and wistful here,
And close my eyes at night.
It were a sweet and gallant pain
To be a sea apart;
But, oh, to have you down the lane
Is bitter to my heart.